Somebody to watch over you
by Icarriedawatermelon
Summary: Piper left Alex in Paris 4 years ago and they haven't spoken since. 2 years after Paris, Piper was sent to prison for 12 months for carrying drugs across international borders. Alex wasn't in prison with Piper. Now free, Piper is in business with Polly as they run a new soap business in New York. It seems as though Alex isn't quite ready to let go yet. Please review !
1. Chapter 1

The new stock delivery was almost counted in when it began to rain softly on the last few stacked boxes of soap. Rushing outside to pick up the last half dozen boxes before they turned to suds, Piper hoped the contents would not be ruined by the weather before she could bring them all into the dry stock cupboard. They had invested a lot of their business loan in these supplies and they could ill afford to have anything wasted by an unexpected downpour. She inwardly cursed the lazy ass driver for dumping the boxes outside as he rushed off to another address, too hurried to wait while Piper inspected each individual box for any possible damage or missing items.

She stacked the last box in the stock room before continuing to open each box to check contents. "Piper? Piper what are you doing down here? It's past 6 and I'd like to go home and eat something that doesn't smell like soap if you're done napping!" Piper's business partner and best friend, Polly was standing in the doorway now waiting expectantly. "Sorry, I was just checking we got what we paid for from this shipment. I think some of the labels might have got wet in the rain..." She went back to start counting the labels out to see how many were damaged. "Piper, seriously. We are not going to be bankrupt from a few soggy labels. We could starve to death though...so if you're done, can we lock up?" Piper knew she wouldn't sleep if there was a possibility any of this stock was damaged and it hadn't been reported to the supplier immediately, so she smiled and sent Polly on her way while she finished up.

As she took inventory, she remembered how far they had both come to get this business up and running. It was still early days for PoPi, with their store being open only a couple of months now. Of course, they could never have afforded a store in Brooklyn if it hadn't been for some excellent work by Polly to secure the necessary bank loans and investments. They would still be operating out of Polly's kitchen and be elbow deep in soap mixture every night.

Noting 20 soggy 'silent night' body lotion labels and a batch of 'sea kelp' soaps that had bashed corners, Piper turned out the lights and set about locking up for the night. She would complain to the suppliers tomorrow that their drivers need to take more care and would get reimbursed for the damages. Every cent counts, right? She made her way to the subway station for the short ride back to her apartment.

It was after 8 when Piper arrived home to her dark apartment. She threw her keys onto the coffee table and opened the fridge, praying there'd be something edible inside. Reheated pizza was on the menu which was probably a day past being thrown out. It tasted like cardboard, but at least a bottle of red wine could make it more palatable. She fished her phone from her handbag and saw that it was completely dead. Plugging it in, she uncorked the bottle of red and poured out a generous half glass as the pizza pinged in the microwave.

Taking a seat at the kitchen table, her phone beeped into life. Three messages flashed on the screen. Her Mother had left a voicemail inviting her to a 60th birthday party for her Grandmother's gardener this weekend. She always liked Joe, so it might be worth heading out to Boston for the night to say hi. Polly has left a couple of messages too, the first to check she hadn't stayed at the shop too late and the second to ask Piper to check if she had left her phone on the counter in the shop. Oops, guess it's too late to check now anyhow.

Piper forced down the last bit of pizza with a second glass of red before heading into the bathroom for a quick shower. It had been a long day and she knew she had to be in early tomorrow to call the suppliers before the shop opened. Polly was taking the day off to get ready for a hot date, so she was on her own to look after everything.

She headed to her bedroom, changing into some fleecy PJs before slipping between the sheets and falling into a deep slumber.

Piper was up early the next morning, already pumped to talk with the supplier customer services department. She stopped at the coffee shop on the corner as she left the subway station and got an extra shot of espresso in her skinny latte to go before heading through the back door of the shop. Picking up the inventory on her way into the office, she sat and dialled the number of the customer services department.

"Hello, NY Logistics. How can I help you?" A strong New York accent answered the phone after several rings. Piper gulped down a mouthful of coffee and responded quickly " Hi, I'm one of the owners of PoPi in Brooklyn and we got a delivery from your company yesterday. Our order was damaged and I wanted to let you know as soon as possible so you can make some improvements to your services." There was a pause on the line as Piper waited for a reply from the customer service operative. The pause continued and Piper wasn't sure the call was still connected.

"Hello? Are you still there?"

"Yes."

"Oh, OK. Great, so you heard me say my delivered goods were damaged?"

"Yep."

"So we want you to improve your services if you want to continue to get our business."

...silence

"Did you hear me? I don't think you understand that I'm very unhappy with the service you are providing and we could take our business elsewhere if you don't keep us happy."

"Listen lady, you placed an order with us to deliver 6 boxes across town. It's hardly a million dollar contract we are talking about here. Plus you made our guy late to his next delivery with your calculator antics. You're actually in breach of your contract with us if you read the small print."

Piper was not expecting that. Shit.

"Well...I will have to speak to your manager about that. You're not getting the money for those broken shipments until I speak to someone more senior."

"Sure lady. I will leave a note."

The line went dead. What the Hell just happened?! Piper hadn't signed the logistics contract so had no idea that it might contain such a clause that they could'nt delay the delivery drivers. She had to speak to Polly. Piper dialled her number and walked into the store to start opening up. A phone started ringing on the counter...shit. Polly did leave her phone at work then.

Calling Polly at home, Piper was still angry with the fact the supplier got the upper hand on her.

"Pol! Thank God I got you. You won't believe what just fucking happened! I just spoke to this really annoying woman on the phone because 20 of those 'silent night' labels got damaged in the rain last night and that soo wasn't my fault because-".

"Piper, stop. Breathe. What the fuck is your point? I'm heading out for a manicure in 5 minutes and you PROMISED me a long overdue day off from soap talk today. And thanks for letting me know you got home OK last night."

"Oh, yes. Sorry, got home OK. Right, I have to see the contracts you signed with the logistics company. They are saying we are in beach of our contract from making their driver late, so I need to check the contract over."

"What the fuck Piper?! They are just messing with you. Did you start a reasonable conversation with them or did you go all Rambo on them from the start?"

"I was fair. I just want to check what you signed up to..."

"Seriously? You don't think I checked what I was signing?! You're going there are you? You weren't exactly accessible for checking contracts over when you were incarcerated for 12 months and left me on my own to set all of this up Piper..."

Piper closed her eyes and pressed her head against the counter. Her foot in mouth disease strikes again. Polly had her bang to rights and she realised she had little involvement in getting the contracts in place for this venture. Piper had walked out of Litchfield Prison and straight into co-owning a new business a year ago. She had much to be grateful to Polly for and felt really bad all of a sudden.

"You're right Pol. I shouldn't have interrupted your day off with this. Forget I said anything and let me make it up to you tonight with drinks."

"As much as I'd normally snap up such an offer, I already have a date tonight dumb ass. I will take a rain check to cash in another time though, so don't think I will forget. Oh, did you find my phone by the way?"

"Sure, no worries. Yes, your phone is here at the store. I'll put it on charge for when you're in again tomorrow. Hopefully I won't fuck anything up without you eh?" Piper laughed humbly as she was relieved at not making the situation any worse. She said her goodbyes to Polly and set to work at tidying the shelves up.

Piper was serving a customer at the counter when Polly's phone started ringing. She carried on packing the order when the phone started ringing for a second time. Reminded that she was supposed to charge the phone, Piper was on her way to plug the phone in when a new text popped onto the screen. As she plugged it in, the text lit up - 'We need to talk. SC' Piper didn't want to appear like she was being nosy, especially after stepping on Polly's toes once today already. So she left the phone charging and forgot about it.

Just before closing time, Piper heard the door chime as a customer walked into the store. The short red-head didn't seem to be in any hurry to buy anything and strolled around the shelves. Inwardly cursing her chance of an early finish disappearing whilst this person browsed the shelves, Piper tried to hurry them along.

"Welcome to PoPi. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

The red-head didn't even turn to look at her when she replied. "You could say that."

Piper waited a couple of seconds for her to elaborate, but the red-head just meandered further along the store and towards the counter.

Frustrated that she was practically chasing the customer around the store for the potential sale, Piper headed over to the counter to press further. "Perhaps I can help if you tell me what you are looking for?"

Looking beyond the counter to the back office door and seeing nobody behind the counter, the red-head seemed perturbed by Piper's buzzing around her. "Not what. Who."

"I'm sorry?" Piper didn't have the energy for guessing games and was less interested in the customer now it sounded like a soap sale was unlikely.

"I'm looking for the owner."

"Oh well, in that case I can help you as I am the owner."

"Cool. You wanted to speak to my boss about your delivery contract or something. She said, and I quote 'If it's so fucking important to speak to me, maybe you can pick up your fucking phone'. She asked me to deliver the message since you don't seem to be very good at, you know, answering a phone. So there you go. Message delivered. This shit smells good by the way." She shrugged her shoulders as she walked out of the front door, leaving Piper standing with her hands on her hips.

Piper made her way to close the front door before anyone else delayed her closing up for the night. She turned off the lights and went to the back office to pick up her bag when Polly rushed in through the back door.

"Hey Pol, you look amazing! Wait, you are not having your date in the store are you because there are loads of candles to set the mood and not a fucking drop of alcohol to help you in there..."

"Thanks. And no, shit head I am not meeting my date here. I just wanted to pick up my phone so I can text you an SOS if he turns out to be a total bore. Or a nerd. Or a Mummy's boy. Did you charge it?"

"Yep, it's right here. I didn't realise I was on call tonight. I can still drink and text your escape plan can't I?"

"Haha, of course. I will call you twice so you know it's an emergency, so you'd better pick up wing woman!"

"Count on me Ma'am. Oh someone called you twice earlier, was that another SOS wing woman you got yourself there? Am I being replaced?" Piper laughed and nudged Polly out of the door as she locked up for the night.

"What? No, of course not! It's probably my Mum."

"Nope. Think it was 'SC' who was trying to talk to you...who's that then...Secret Comrade? Saucy Creampie?"

"Ew, no. Don't know who that is, but I gotta run Pipes or my nerdy date might stand me up before I need you to rescue me!"


	2. Chapter 2

3 Piper called at the supermarket on her way home as she couldn't stand another night without eating fresh food. Cooking meals for one meant she tended to cook enough for two and eat it over two days, so the menu wasn't exactly thrilling. It gave her enough ingredients for a bean salad when she got in and she managed to find the strength to return her mother's call from the previous night. She dialled the numbers and crossed her fingers that she would get the answer phone.

As the recorded message clicked in, Piper Chapman thanked her lucky stars that she had once again managed to avoid an interrogation with her mother about when she was going to agree to a match making date with the sons of her bridge club ladies. Perhaps it was because she had chosen the precise hour that she knew her mother would be at the aforementioned bridge club...High five yourself there Chapman, nice work indeed. "Hi Mom, sorry I missed you again. I'll need to check Polly is OK to take care of the store on her own on Saturday afternoon, but I should be at Joe's party for about 7. See you there."

She ran a bath and took the rest of the bottle of red wine with her as she took a long soak to soothe her tired limbs. She kept her phone with her in case Polly called, but the date must have been going well because there was still no message when she finally got into bed at 11pm.

The next morning, Piper got up later than usual after sleeping through her alarm clock. There was no time for a shower or breakfast today as she quickly dressed and caught a cab to the store. One day she had been left in charge and it was as though the 24 hour limit had passed and she slipped back into the unreliable half of the partnership. She ran through the front door as Polly was already there and opened up on time.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry! I had a really good sleep last night and-. Wait. Why are you grinning like that? You're not going to rip my head off for being late? Where is Polly and what have you done with her?"

Polly continued to smile and simply shrugged her shoulders. "It's OK. No problemo."

Realisation dawned on Piper. "Noooo way. What kind of an Adonis turned up for your date last night? Did you sleep with him on the first date, you whore?"

"Put the kettle on and I'll tell you all the deets."

A good couple of hours later and the full story of the amazing Aussie Pete was told. Piper could barely get chance to ask any questions since Polly was so excited to spill every little detail of their night. It was good to see Polly have some success in the dating game since Piper's attempts had been so downright awful recently. It was difficult to go out on blind dates since coming out of prison and she didn't want to hide that part of her life for the sake of making people feel comfortable. Of course, as soon it was mentioned, the date either became far too engrossed in asking how you picked up the soap in the showers with all those lesbians around or they were already making their excuses to leave early. Telling someone about prison always opened up old wounds for Piper because it always leads to how she ended up in prison in the first place. Which then meant she had to talk about her. Talking about Alex has never been easy for Piper. She was either hiding her invisible girlfriend from her WASPy family and friends, who would not react well to the news their daughter was dating a drug smuggling lesbian. Or she was trying to pretend to herself that Alex didn't exist anymore because at one time she was the love of her life and Alex used that to get Piper to do things that ultimately sent her to prison. Piper left Alex in pretty dire circumstances 4 years ago now and hadn't seen or heard from her since.

Heading into the store room to refill the shelves, Piper was reminded of the soggy boxes and the unfinished business with the logistics company and the message the red-head gave her as she was closing up. Maybe the manager was trying to call the store while she was on the phone to Polly yesterday? She carried a box from the store room and started to refill the shelves while telling Polly about the strange visit she had.

"...and you know, she made it sound like I'd been avoiding the manager's calls all day! I'm not going to put up with that you know. We might be small business for them now, but with time, our contract could be worth a lot and they should really try and-"

"Pipes, I really think it's best to just leave it alone. It was only a few labels and some soaps that we could use as free samples. You made your point with them and I think they will remember that when they next do a delivery. Let's focus on improving sales and marketing yeah?"

"Right, well fine. As long as they know we won't be bossed around."

They finished up on time for once and headed to the bar over the road for a drink since it was Friday night. Piper was ready to let her hair down for the night, but soon realised it was going to be a night out that consisted of only one drink as she caught Polly smiling at her phone every few minutes. The Aussie was texting, so Piper wasn't surprised when Polly was making her excuses to abandon her when she found out Pete was out in the same area. "Fine, you can leave me and not feel guilty, so long as you let me leave early tomorrow so I can head over to my Grandmother's place for a family party. Do we have a deal?" Polly's answer was a quick squeeze before she dashed out of the bar in search of Pete. Piper headed out for a cab and an early night, a little depressed that this was an all too regular Friday night for her these days. Well at least she could get a good start on packing her things for the weekend and make her to- do list.

The alarm went off at 6am and Piper jumped up and put her running gear on. She skipped down the steps at the front of her apartment and put her ear buds in for the warm up. The playlist was a mix of old 80's pop songs that was perfect for forgetting everything outside of the park. She clocked up 6k before heading back home for a shower and some breakfast. It felt good to feel the burn in her legs for a while this morning and made her mind sharp for getting organised.

By 8:30, Piper was rounding the corner to the back door of the store with coffees for her and Polly when she was nearly hit by the delivery truck departing, the driver honking his horn as he wheeled away. "What the fuck ? I don't remember scheduling a delivery for this morning?" Getting to the back door, Piper found that everything was still locked up and there was no sign of Polly yet. No sign of a delivery order either. As she walked around clicking the lights on and unlocking the doors, Polly slumped into a chair by the counter and put her head on the desk. "Well, good morning sunshine. I'm guessing only one of us was in bed by 9pm last night?"

"Can I smell coffee? Is there some for me?" Polly mumbled into the desk.

"There's one right in front of you if you can lift your head up long enough to pour it into your mouth. Good night was it? I can see you weren't drinking cocoa til the early hours already."

"I just need to be very still for a while, then I'll be good to go."

"Yeah, well don't forget I'm leaving at lunch time to drive to Boston so you might have to move at that point. Also, did you book a delivery for this morning? I saw the delivery driver leaving just as I arrived, but he didn't leave anything."

"Yes, I know you are leaving me and no I didn't book a delivery. Can you stop talking for a while now? I need to not think. At all."

Piper rolled her eyes and walked to the back of the store to double check the orders book. There was nothing due for a few days yet, so there must have been a mistake. Probably best to make sure they haven't missed anything though, so she dialled the number for NY Logistics from the back office.

"Hello, NY Logistics. How may I help you?" It was the same thick accent as last time, sounding a little bored on this occasion.

"Hi, yes it's the PoPi store here. Well, I own the PoPi store actually. Anyway, I'm calling about your delivery driver who called this morning and didn't leave anything."

Silence.

"So I checked the order books and we aren't expecting any deliveries today."

Silence.

"Are you noting this down?"

"Nope. You weren't expecting a delivery, you didn't get anything delivered and what? You're calling to complain again are ya lady? Sounds to me like you got a vendetta against this poor guy."

"No, No! Of course not! Well, no. I'm not complaining. I'm just checking you have your paperwork in order is all."

"You called me at 9am on a Saturday morning to ask if my paperwork is OK and accuse my driver for the second time this week of not doing his job properly. What part of that is not complaining?"

"Listen here. I'm the customer. Aren't you supposed to listen with a sympathetic ear to my concerns and complaints - if I were making any, which I'm not?"

"Geez. Look, there's a note here to say we were replacing the damaged stock you reported last week. Looks like the boss has bought your precious supplies again and we tried to deliver the replacements this morning. You weren't in, so he came away for his next job. Happy?"

"Oh, well that was very kind of him. Er, you should really notify us when you want to make a delivery though, so your driver doesn't have a wasted trip."

"Her."

"I'm sorry?"

"The boss is a her, you said him. I will be sure to pass on your feedback Ma'am. "

As the line went dead, Piper thought that maybe they weren't quite as bad as she thought. Their customer service skills are a bit rough, but they at least accepted when they went wrong. She tidied up the stock room and checked the delivery plans for next week before heading out to see if it was worth waking Polly up yet at the counter. As she walked from the back offices, she could hear Polly was talking to someone.

"... I said I would sort it and I have alright."

Polly was still at the counter, but was sitting up with her back to the doorway Piper was lurking in.

"...Jesus, what do you want me to do here? I can't be here 24/7 you know. You wanted to take care of this contract, so you have to take some responsibility here too."

By 'here' she must be talking about the store. Piper walked forward so she was in Polly's line of sight, mouthing "Who is it?" when she caught her eye. Polly rolled her eyes and waived her hand dismissively before responding to the person on the other side of the call. "Yeah, well you'd better get your house in order or we will be taking our logistics business elsewhere-." Piper was mortified that Polly might be undoing the kind of productive conversation she had and she frantically started waving at Polly to stop talking, gesturing that she wanted to take over the call.

Polly tried to turn away so Piper was behind her, but she was too slow and Piper managed to snatch the phone away from her. "Hey, this is Piper Chapman, the co-owner and I just wanted to say I'm sorry for any misunderstanding. I already spoke to one of your customer services team this morning and she explained that you were replacing the stock we got damaged, so we have no hard feelings you know. Oh and please don't fire the driver. I totally was not complaining about him the first or the second time I called this week. I mean, he's a bit of an ass when he doesn't wait for me to count the boxes out and he drives like a maniac when he's running a little late, but he probably has a family and stuff so you know, like he should keep his job to put food on the table for them and all..." Piper stopped when she caught sight of Polly staring at her with wide eyes and both hands over her mouth as though she had just dropped a major bombshell on the supplier.

"Um...did you catch any of that?...Hello?"

There was a click on the end of the line as the other person hung up. That's something else this company needed to improve on, people saying goodbye at the end of a conversation. She looked back at Polly, who seemed to be holding her breath. "What?"

"What did she say Piper?"

"Who was that Polly?"

"They didn't tell you?"

"No. They didn't say anything actually. Not a word come to think of it."

"Oh.. OK. It was the logistics company. The manager called me to say they tried to deliver some replacement stock today and they will reschedule for next week."

"Right. Well I already talked to them just before, so you don't need to worry about it Pol."

"Well, OK. But you should probably just leave all the logistics stuff to me now, so we don't end up confusing them. I can take care of them, you can talk to the other suppliers. It just makes it simpler if they only talk to me from now on I think."

Before Piper could put together a word of protest, Polly reminded her that she needed to be leaving if she was going to get to Boston before sunset.


	3. Chapter 3

It was just after 6 when Piper arrived at her Grandmother's house on the outskirts of Boston. It was a place where she had spent a lot of time as a kid, on vacations and long weekends with her two brothers. The house was a big 1930's stone fronted property in the countryside, with a huge garden that they played for hours in no matter what the weather was. Her grandfather passed away some years ago, but her Grandmother was still fiercely independent and was not afraid to voice her opinion on any subject. Which made for some interesting family meals when Celeste went head to head with Piper's mother on a given topic.

Celeste had been surprisingly understanding when Piper had told her she was going to prison for transporting drug money across international borders. Understanding in so far as she was OK that Piper did it for love, but less so when she found out Piper hadn't taken the money for herself and made sound investments with it. 'Such a waste' she had said at the time.

Piper opened the front door and found that the party was already in full swing with people milling around every room. She was taking her coat off as her younger brother Cal came up behind her and squeezed her tightly, frightening her at first. It was exactly the reaction he was looking for and he chuckled heartily. "Hey sis, how are you doing? It's been months since you made the trip to the family nest and I've been under Mom's spotlight for far too long now!"

"I've been busy with the new store actually, so not had the time to come by yet. I should be at work today, but Polly is covering for me so I can escape here. So what have you been up to?"

Before Cal could reply, his name was shouted from the kitchen to help move some boxes to the garage. "I'll catch up with you later Cal, sounds like Mom has found you again." She winked as Cal rolled his eyes and started to walk towards the kitchen.

Piper walked over to the coat stand in the hallway where there were framed photos of family and friends on the wall and she started looking over them and remembering find times at the house. As she was lost in her own memories, she didn't hear someone next to her until he spoke. "Hey, remember that water fight we had right before this one was taken? You watched me fill up a big red bucket with water balloons before I challenged you to a water fight. Then you asked for 5 mins to prepare while you ran inside the garage and switched my full bucket with an empty one and you stole my supply and shouted 'Go!' Knowing I had no ammo at all!" It was Steve, Joe's son who was here for the party.

"Oh, Steve! It's so good to see you! Ha! What I lacked in speed and strength for those water fights, I had to make up in tactics and sneakiness I guess! My God it's been so long since I've seen you now. How are you?" Piper was really happy to see Steve here. He had spent a lot of time playing with her brothers when they stayed for the summer while his Dad worked on the garden, so they grew up together in the summer months over quite a few years. He was a couple of years older than Piper and had the same thick black hair as his Dad when he was younger. It was strange to see him all grown up, but the familiarity was still there as though they were both back for the summer.

"I'm great actually. I just finished my third year as a medical student at the Mass Gen in Boston and I'm hoping they let me stay on as a resident as I really like it there."

"Wow, I didn't know you were going to be a real Doctor when I let you practice on me that summer in the greenhouse." Piper winked and nudged Steve, who blushed dramatically at the mention of them playing Doctors and Nurses all those years ago. Piper laughed again and told him it was really great that he'd found a job that he loved so much, especially as it was so close to where they grew up.

Celeste had recognised Piper's laugh from the room next door and came rushing out to hug her only granddaughter. "Sweetheart, it's so nice to see you! When did you get here? Come in here and let's get you a drink. Are you staying?" Her Grandmother steered her into the kitchen with Steve following behind.

"I only just arrived and yes I was going to stay the night if that's ok? I have a case in the car that I will get later. Do you have any wine? I'd love a glass of red if there's any open."

"Of course, of course dear. Here, this is probably a good one if its out of the cellar. It will be one of your Grandfathers preferred wineries. He always knew far more about these things than I ever did!" Celeste winked at them both as she put the cork back into the bottle of red and put it into Piper's hands. "You hang onto that. I don't let just anyone have the good stuff you know." She winked.

"I'll bring your case in if you like Piper, just give me your keys and I'll put it into your old room for you." Steve held his hand out for the keys and smiled as Piper closed her eyes drinking a mouthful of wine from the glass. "Mmm, so worth the trip already! Thank you." Piper chuckled as she handed her keys over.

She wandered into the dining room and found Joe talking to her Father. "Here you are, the guest of honour. Happy Birthday Joe! Can I get you a drink or anything to keep you topped up?" She kissed Joe sweetly on the cheek before turning to her Dad and doing the same. "Hey Daddy, good to see you." Joe smiled and took her hand in his as she told her what a beautiful young lady she had grown into before his eyes. A little embarrassed at the compliment, and aware that her Dad would be silently remembering the beautiful young lady who was also an ex-con, she smiled and said it must have been the fantastic organic produce from the garden that helped. Joe got pulled into telling another story from days gone by and Piper had a few moments alone with her Dad.

"How is the store doing Piper? Did you get a good deal on your rent for the first year? You can get all kinds of deals as a new business you know, so you be sure to make the savings where you can." He was so keen to turn her convict past shame into an entrepreneur success story for her Mother to share that he was always trying to give her advice on running PoPi, despite having no experience of running a new business himself. It was his way of trying to help and he had the best intentions, it just felt a little like talking to a bank manager instead of a Dad sometimes while he felt a little distanced from who she was now.

"It's going great Daddy. Polly did get a good deal on the rent, so we have some time to get established in the area. We are going to start doing some marketing campaigns for Christmas soon, so we want word to get out that we are new and organic-"

"That's all well and good Piper dear, but who cares if a soap is organic? Honestly, it makes you sound like a couple of hippies trying an experiment. You need to think bigger Piper and look at opportunities to get aligned with some more reputable brands." Piper's Mother joined the conversation from behind in a style that Piper was all too accustomed to. Scathing, deprecating and completely unhelpful.

"That isn't the strategy or market we want to go for Mom. We want to start small and build a loyal customer base where our products and customers are all local to us. it might change over time, but it is still early days for us yet. Thanks though. For your unwavering support and unabashed enthusiasm for our business plan. As usual." Piper spoke the last words through gritted teeth as she made her excuses to go for a top up from the hidden bottle of red in the kitchen. Two hours she had been in the same zip code as her Mother and it already felt like it was enough to last another 6 months before she had to see her again.

Celeste had overheard the exchange and was about to step in with some support before Piper abruptly left the room. "It's OK Piper. You know what she is like. She doesn't know how to say 'well done' or accept you want to do things your own way. Why don't you have something to eat over there with your wine and try and steer clear of any more helpful advice from your Mother for the rest of the night hey?" Celeste gave her a quick hug before heading back out to play hostess with Joe's family.

Piper was finishing a big slice of pecan pie as Cal came in to introduce his girlfriend Neri to her. Quickly trying to swallow the pie she had in her mouth already, Piper smiled and nodded pleasantly before adding a "Hey, welcome to the madhouse!" Neri smiled and said she is sure to be a worthy addition. Cal and Neri talked for a while about their plans for living a carbon neutral life in the country, which Piper was very enthusiastic to hear about. Steve joined them and they talked a bit about old times as Piper noticed the bottle was empty. Knowing there was a decent bottle of scotch going to be hidden in the kitchen somewhere, Piper set out to find it and emerged victorious a few minutes later. They all snook outside onto the porch to share it, like school kids who shouldn't be drinking at all.

After a couple of glasses, Cal and Neri turned in for the night. They weren't used to the alcohol or the groups of people, so went to their room for some rest.

Piper and Steve stayed out on the porch talking about whether any films have been made from stories that first appeared in books that were better than the book. Both thought of many examples, but none that were better than the written story. They relaxed into easy conversation, teasing each other with stories from their past and then turning to more serious discussions about literature. It was the most relaxed Piper had been for a long time actually. Maybe since even before she went to prison in fact.

It had taken Piper a very long time to get over leaving Alex. It is the most difficult thing she had ever done in her life, to walk away from the person she loved so dearly and would have done anything for. But those were exactly the reasons she knew she had to leave. She couldn't trust herself not to break all rules, all laws, leave all sense behind to follow Alex to the ends of the earth. Alex had used that love to her advantage on occasion and Piper knew that distance and severing all ties was the only way to keep her morals and conscience away from the dark world of drugs. It wasn't all bad. It was mostly very, very good in fact. Alex opened her eyes to a world of culture, experiences and thrills that she would never have dreamed of in her WASP routine of daily life in Connecticut. But she was a drug and one that Piper had become hooked on to the exclusion of all others. Everyone else was background when she was with Alex. She turned to a total recluse for a long time after Paris, drinking herself to sleep to forget her. She lived off her parents' money in a tiny NY apartment while picking up shitty waitressing jobs when they threatened to stop the cash flow. Once the threat subsided, she usually ditched the job and went back to the drink and daytime sleeping. It wasn't until Polly had had enough of the pity parade that she pulled herself around a bit, helping Polly to create skin care products in her home kitchen as a hobby. She was starting to get help from support groups and kick the drink when the police came knocking on her door with the information about her carrying drug money for Alex.

She wasn't able to find out how they got that information as it was a sealed testimony, but her money was on Alex being behind it. She knew she had broken Alex's heart by leaving her and wouldn't be at all surprised to find Alex still holding the grudge. She actually wouldn't have blamed her for it so she didn't even try to find out, and it got her sober again. So, it actually did her a favour in the end.

It had been a really great night and Piper was pleased to see Steve again. "Thanks for keeping me company tonight Steve, it's been so nice to see you again. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun." She reached out and put her hand on his, squeezing gently as she spoke. "I'm going to head off to bed now to sleep off this scotch. Are you going to call around tomorrow or are you working?" Steve returned the smile and looked at their hands, still together. "It's been good to see you again tonight Piper. I was wondering what happened to the cute girl I had a crush on when I was 12 and it's been nice to see that some things haven't changed." His smile spread across his face, showing his teeth and Piper figured he was teasing her again so she laughed and stood to hug him before she left.

"See you tomorrow nurse Chapman!" He shouted over her shoulder as she went inside.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun peeking through the curtains in her old room was the first thing she saw in the morning. She rolled over and checked her watch for the time. 10am. Which meant she had slept off her hangover completely and was ready for a coffee and a good breakfast. Her Grandmother's cooked breakfast was mouthwatering and she really hoped she was up in time to get some today after her late start.

She turned on the shower and let it heat up as she brushed her teeth. Stepping under the warm water, Piper could feel her muscles relaxing as the water ran down her body. She ran her hands through her shoulder length blonde hair and lathered up the shampoo while humming to herself. She could spend all day in a bath or shower if she could. It was a place where she could get lost in her own thoughts and feel like her troubles were being washed down the plug hole with the dirty water. It felt like she was starting a clean slate with a new body when she had been in the shower.

The anticipation of a cooked breakfast was enough to make it a quick soak today though, so she hopped out and dried off quickly. Putting on a pair of skinny blue jeans and a black v neck sweater, she tied her wet hair up into a loose bun and ran downstairs where she could already hear voices in the kitchen. Neri and Cal were sat at the table with Steve, drinking a delicious smelling mug of coffee. While her Grandmother was washing up some dishes from an earlier breakfast.

"Morning! Am I too late for a scrummy Chapman breakfast Grandmother?" Piper heaped on the puppy eyes and pleading voice to full effect as her Grandmother chuckled. "Of course not sweetheart. One breakfast coming right up. You just sit yourself down there and get yourself a mug of that fresh coffee from the pot here and I'll be with you in a jiffy."

Cal rolled his eyes at seeing the Bambi eyed Piper Chapman at work again. "Seriously, you should patent that. It's saved your ass and got you more favours than money could ever buy." Piper winked at him and laughed, knowing exactly how to work the look to get what she wanted.

Celeste sat with them at the table as Piper ate her breakfast and asked how the new store was coming along. Between bites of delicious food, Piper explained that they had a good deal on the rent for the first 12 months and Polly had secured some invested money to cover their start up costs. Steve asked how Polly had gotten an investor as he knew of a few schemes that would only give you a small percentage of the overall costs to get going. "Normally, you would have to find the rest of the money yourself, say around 50% of the money. You've been really lucky if you haven't had to find any money yourself to invest. Banks like to know their start up companies are putting their own money into the business before they commit to anything."

"Wow, really? I hadn't realised that. I guess we got really lucky with that. To be honest, I left it with Polly to sort out as I was not really able to attend the bank meetings when I was in prison." Realisation dawned on Steve and he fell over himself apologising for being so ignorant. Piper laughed and said it was nothing to be embarrassed about, it happened and of course it has had an impact on her involvement in the business.

"Polly has been absolutely amazing to get this whole thing set up and ready to go for when I was released. I don't know what I would have done without her in so many ways. Although I find I have questions about decisions she made at the time, it is difficult for me to ask them because I feel like it is putting something she did under the microscope when at the time she made it, she was juggling so many different things. We are up and running and we have to work as a team now to make sure that invested money is spent making a solid future for PoPi. I'm less worried about what happened in the past and more interested in the future now. I've spent too long looking back..." She looked at Cal as the last words left her mouth and he reached over and squeezed her hand.

Steve said his Dad had had a wonderful time at the party last night and had really enjoyed seeing everyone again. Being here had brought back so many memories for them both when they were surrounded by so many familiar faces and he asked if anyone would like to go on the walk down to the lake before we all head home. Grandmother said it was too slippy down there for her to go and Cal said he and Neri had some errands to run in the village before they headed back to their cabin in the woods. So it was just Steve and Piper who wrapped up in coats, hats and scarves for a walk in the Autumn leaves.

The path was quite slippy with the fallen leaves and Piper linked Steve's arm as they descended the steep slope at the start of the path. They continued to walk like that and talk about Steve's plans to stay on as a Resident at Mas Gen once he was fully qualified. They reached the old boathouse on the lake as Steve explained he would likely stay because Boston is his home and always has been. He doesn't know anywhere else and he has no reason to leave. Steve hadn't travelled the world like Piper had, he had barely left Connecticut in fact. So the thought of leaving for somewhere brand new had never even occurred to him. Piper enthused about the thrill of exploring somewhere new, of becoming someone new and the excitement of not knowing what might be around the corner. Steve smiled at her while placing a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "You are a born wanderer you know that? I always knew you wouldn't stay around here for long once you went to College. You always wanted something more. But I've always been happy with what I have right here. My family are all around me, I still see the friends I grew up with and there's no awkwardness in getting acquainted with a brand new group of friends for the first time. I like the familiar. I've loved seeing you again and seeing you here has brought back many happy memories of the times we shared here." He ran his thumb across her cheek and straightened her woolly hat while looking into her eyes. "Come on, let's get you back before your Grandmother thinks I've kidnapped you and rowed off in your Grandfather's boat."

8 When they arrived back at Celeste's house, the smell of home made soup was drifting through the garden. Steve's tummy grumbled loudly and Piper chuckled "I guess you're staying for dinner then? We couldn't have you found in the grounds having died of starvation, could we?" She smiled as she opened the door for them both to head into the kitchen."Oh God, you heard that? I'm so sorry, it really wasn't a hint I promise!"

They ate some warm soup with Celeste, telling her how beautiful the lake looked and showing her some photos they took with their cellphones while they were out. She sighed when she saw how much the boathouse has fallen into disrepair since Piper's Grandfather had passed away but agreed the scenery was as beautiful as ever.

"I have to head off soon as I have a few things to do back in New York before I'm back at work in the morning. You should come up and see the big city lights some time, I'll give you the tour Steve."

"Well I'd have to get myself a passport to do that kind of travelling, so one step at a time eh?" He smiled warmly. " How about I give you my number though so we can catch up again if you're down this way? Just let me know when you think you'll be dropping by and I'll see what I can do with my shifts to meet up."

Piper took his number and hugged him tightly as she said goodbye at the doorway. "It's been nice spending time with you this weekend and of course I'd love to see you next time I'm back." She kissed him on the cheek and said goodbye before closing the door and running into her Grandmother. "I always said you two were a cute couple." She winked as she walked back to the kitchen before Piper could reply.


	5. Chapter 5

Monday morningstarted with an early morning run by the side of the river. She felt rested after the weekend in the countryside and it had been nice to spend time with people she felt so comfortable around. It was like it had given her extra energy this morning and she clocked up 7k before heading back to shower and change.

Piper sent Steve a text to tell him he was excellent company at the weekend and to call if he ever got brave enough to leave Connecticut. Then she sent Polly a quick text from the subway to see if she was in work and if she wanted a coffee from the shop on the corner. There was an immediate beep to reply "Yes and God YES!", so she picked up two coffees on her way. Polly was already in the back office with her face in an order book when she out the cups down.

"Hey, I missed you - and your coffee buying habit. Mostly your coffee buying habit if I'm honest. It's good to have you back, it was really busy this weekend." Polly hugged her quickly before hustling Piper through the door to sit down. "We have to get our ads in the Christmas edition of the local news magazine this week if we still want to pay for a quarter page spread. It's five hundred bucks if we do, but we don't have an ad design yet. Do you think we should?"

"Five hundred is a lot for just one magazine. Do you think we could get that much business from there to cover the costs? We wanted to do some of our own leaflets to post locally, so maybe that would be the same amount but our ad gets its own page?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. But only if we pay someone else to post them. There's no way I'm dragging my ass all over this freezing city to post papers in every high rise block as well as full time hours here."

"Hmm, that's a good point."

"Why don't we do both? Print the ad in the magazine and pay someone to post some flyers for us too? We could pay someone to design a decent advert and print the same one for both."

"Because that's going to cost a fortune Pol. I like the idea, but we aren't making that kind of money yet."

"I'm sure our investor will cover it."

"What makes you so sure? And haven't we already got all the investment money when you signed the contract with them?"

"Yes, they gave us a lump sum, but we can make a case for getting more as we need it I think."

"You think? What kind of an investor lets you keep coming back asking for more money for extra things you didn't include in the original proposal? He's going to think we are a couple of idiots who can't plan ahead."

"She will think we are idiots. But she won't. I'm sure she will be cool about it."

"She? Oh I like that we are two women starting in business supported by an already successful business woman. That's awesome Pol! But let's not make her think we are not capable of doing this by asking her for more money right now. I'm sure we will come up with something."

"Fine. By the end of the week though Chapman. That's the deadline. Let's get the doors open for business before the Great Brooklyn Soap Riot starts."

Piper sat with a blank pad of paper on the counter to note ideas for the advert in between making sales while Polly was looking at supplies to make some new Christmas gift sets to feature in the promotions from the back office. Just before 1pm, Polly came through to ask if Piper wanted something picking up for lunch. She glanced down at the empty pad of paper "Well, our shelves aren't as empty as your ideas book, so I'm guessing it wasn't the queue of customers preventing you from finishing up our advertising campaign. Unless the 'CAMPAIGN IDEAS' heading and four little coloured in stars count?"

Before the blonde could make a reply, the phone rang and Polly headed out of the front door as Piper answered. "Good afternoon PoPi, this is Piper speaking how may I help you?" There was an immediate click as the person hung up. A wrong number then. A few minutes later, it rang again and it was NY Logistics this time.

"Is Polly there please?"

"No, I'm afraid she just popped out for a moment. Can I help you?"

"Erm, I think we are only supposed to talk to Polly, so maybe I should call back later."

"Seriously? It was a silly mix up last week. Polly can deal with any contract stuff, but I'm perfectly capable of taking your calls. I'm not a complete idiot you know, we are PARTNERS in this business so I'm equally able to make decisions. Wait. Did you just call a few minutes ago and hang up when I answered?"

"No. Don't be ridiculous. This is the first time I called you today lady, scouts honour."

"OK. You are right, it would be ridiculous to hang up just because I answered and not Polly...anyway why are you calling?"

"Right. Well, you blew a gasket last week when our delivery driver turned up without your prior permission, so I'm calling to let you know we would like to try to deliver again today. If that meets with your approval Ma'am."

"I did not 'blow a gasket' last week. Believe me, you'd not mistake it if I did. And yes, a delivery today would be fine. What is he delivering again? "

"The stuff we replaced when you blew a gasket the first time. I'll book him for today then. Sorted."

Infuriatingly, the line went dead again. She didn't even know this woman's name, but she recognised her as the same person she had spoken to every time she called the company. Terrible telephone manners. Oh God, she sounded like her Mother.

Polly returned with a coffee and a brown paper bag with lunch. She placed them on the counter before heading back into the office, shouting over her shoulder "Looks like that fifth star is really taking some time to develop into a brilliant idea eh Chapman?"

A couple of nice old ladies came into the store after that and Piper took her time showing them lots of different products that might meet their needs. Their needs being defined as 'something nice for the daughter in laws that we done like enough to spend a lot of money on, but it looks like we did'. They bought some body lotions and bath salts, but we're disappointed that Piper couldn't gift wrap everything too. Another sales idea they had to get sorted out before Christmas came and went.

The NY Logistics delivery truck arrived in the afternoon, with the supplies they needed. There was an extra box on the inventory and Piper wouldn't let the driver leave before she opened it in case there was another mix up. It contained a box of chocolates with a printed note attached 'Sorry for the damage I caused, NY Logistics'. The damage 'I' caused? Was it from the delivery driver, but he was too embarrassed to say so? How cute! She loved dark chocolates, they were her absolute favourites!

She walked into the office to show Polly the gift, grinning from ear to ear. "You see what some well worded complaints get you? Look at these!" Polly looked perplexed "Who sent those?"

"The logistics company sent them, with a note - see?" Polly took the note from her and read it, raising her eyebrow. "Well, I think you should send them back."

"What? Don't be ridiculous! Why?"

"Because we have a professional relationship with this company, nothing more."

"Er, I don't think they are asking us out on a date Pol. It's just an apology for the damaged supplies. They are trying to make it up to us."

"You Piper. They are trying to make it up to you." Then she walked out of the office, saying something about needing to leave early tonight,leaving Piper quite confused.

She went to say good night to Polly as she was putting her coat on and she heard Polly on the phone "Yes, tonight. I need to speak to you right fucking now. No excuses, make it happen" before she hung up and walked out of the store.

Right, well I guess that was goodnight then. And no way were those chocs going back, they were perfect for the bottle of wine she would be opening when she got home later. "Thank you NY Logistics. I appreciate the sentiment, even if Polly doesn't."

Piper was already in the office when Polly arrived the next morning. She had to get some ideas down on paper for the advert that was due on Friday. That was 3 full days plus contingency on Friday then. She always worked better under pressure anyway.

"Hey Pol, how was your evening?"

"Hey, it was fine. Nothing exciting."

"Really? I thought I heard you going out to meet someone when you left."

Polly looked like she was thinking back to the events of yesterday. "Oh it was probably Pete. I went round to his last night."

"Did you guys have a fight or something? You seemed pretty mad when you were talking to him."

"Um, yeah. We're over it now. Just something stupid, you know how it is when you're stressed." Polly put her bag down and headed out to open up the store, signalling the conversation was over. "Well the chocolates were fab!" Piper spoke more to herself as Polly had already gone.

She really ought to thank them and tell them there was no need. Polly got pretty wound up by them being sent, so probably best that she warn them. She picked up the phone and dialled the number.

"Hello, NY Logistics. How can I help you?"

"Oh, hi. Its me, Piper Chapman. I own PoPi. Well I co-own PoPi, with my partner Polly. Well, partner in a business sense I mean..."

"Hi Piper Chapman. Did you call to tell me about your life story? I'm kinda busy here, so if it's going to be a long one..."

"What? No. I just called to say thanks for the chocolates, they were lovely."

"Er, are you sure you called the right place Piper Chapman? I mean, I had a LOT to drink on Friday night and I had a swell time and all, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the chocolate sending type lady."

Piper laughed at the sudden defensive tone of the person on the phone, whose name she still didn't know.

"Who are you? I've spoken to you several times this week and you never introduce yourself. It's kinda good manners you know."

"Whoah there. A bit forward aren't you? You pretend I sent you chocolates so you can call me up and ask me out on a date did you?"

"Sorry to shatter your dreams, but you're not my type and you still haven't told me your name."

"How do you know I'm not your type? You haven't sampled the goods yet."

"My type has a name, for starters."

"OK, you got me. I'm Nicky, but I didn't send you any chocolates Piper Chapman. I wish I had, if this is how to get your attention."

"Well, now you know. You should ask your driver for tips on the type I prefer as he chose perfectly."

"Maybe I will do that. But I won't mention it to Jake's wife that he bought you chocolates as that might be weird. And I absolutely won't mention it to my boss that I spoke to you today. It is more than my job's worth. See you around Piper Chapman, partner of Polly."

Piper hung up the phone, smiling to herself. Was Nicky flirting with her just now or teasing her? God she was so out of practice with this that she didn't even know anymore. Well, at least she knew her name now.

She walked into the store to find Polly was serving a customer, and there were a couple of others wandering around browsing. She went to see if they would like any help and managed to get a sale for over $50 from them by the time she had added the complementary lotions and scents. Feeling very pleased with herself, Piper remembered to talk to Polly about what they could do about a gift wrapping service.

"Do you think we could charge a little extra for Christmas gift wrapping or maybe set up some ready done gift boxes for different prices? We could promote them in the advert that I haven't written yet."

Polly rolled her eyes. "You mean the supplies list I put together yesterday while you were making zero progress on the advert that you insist on writing yourself?"

"Oh, you already did it. I have another 3 days for the advert, so stop worrying."

"Piper, you have 2 days now as the finished version has to be with them on Thursday night to go to print on Friday. Why don't you just let me speak to our investor and see what she says? She might say it's no problem and we can get other people - experts - working on the adverts. That way, I know they will get done on time and we can focus on getting the new gift packs ready. Please?"

She really wanted to do this herself. Polly had done so much to get the business up and running already and she felt silly asking for more money from a business woman who had probably made a success of her own businesses with her own hard earned cash while raising 2 kids. But, time was already against her now.

"Maybe I could talk to our investor and see what she thinks of our ideas? I'd feel better that she didn't think we are not capable if I could see her reaction."

"No Piper, absolutely not."

"Well that sounded pretty final. Are you ashamed of me? Do you think she will be less likely to lend the money to an ex convict?"

"That's not it at all. She knows you have been in prison before she even agreed to invest anything. She is fully aware of your background Piper."

"Fully aware of my background? What does that mean? Has she done some sort of a background check on us without my consent?"

"Kind of. Look, let me handle it. I will call her later and test the water so we can get started. One less star for you to draw hey?" Polly smiled weakly before hugging Piper. "Thanks for not being ridiculously stubborn about this." She kissed her on the cheek and went to make the call.


	6. Chapter 6

The extra supplies for the gift boxes arrived the next morning. Piper signed for the delivery and didn't get so much as a glance from Jake to suggest whether he had sent the chocolates. She walked back into the store where Polly was grinning as she put the phone down.

"See, I told you we could get the money. It's being transferred to our account right now, so we can talk to a design agency straight away. I've got some gift sets in mind, so maybe we can make some up and take some photos to send them. Do you think we should do a special offer on something to get people to come into the store as well?"

"OK, I admit I'm a bit relieved that the pressure is off on the design work. I would have preferred to do it myself, but we have so much to do. I admit you were right. This time. The supplies for the gift packs just arrived, so we can do those today and we can send some photos through from my phone. Maybe we could use those damaged sea kelp soaps as a freebie with sales over ten dollars? I don't think we could do a gift pack for less than twenty dollars, so maybe start at twenty five, then fifty and do something extra fancy for like a hundred or something?"

"Let's see what they look like, but using those soaps is a good idea Batman."

They brought the new boxes of supplies into the front of the store to make up in between serving customers. As they brought them through, Polly found a box of chocolates sitting on top of the last box of ribbon. There was an envelope tacked onto the front, with Piper's name hand written across the front. Debating whether to give them to her or put the straight into the bin, Polly was interrupted by Piper shouting her from the other room.

"Hey Pol, these boxes are gorgeous! We can make these sets looks really great you know..."

"Cool, you go ahead and make a start then."

Polly quickly checked that Piper was busy in the other room, before heading out the back to make a call.

"Hi, it's me. Listen, you have to stop with sending these messages and gifts to her. You know this is only going to end badly and she will totally flip out if she finds out who is sending them." Polly spoke quickly in case Piper came looking for her.

"I don't know. There's a box of dark chocolates here and an envelope with her name on the front of them. I fucking know it's you, so cut the bullshit."

"Well who else would be sending boxes of chocolates to her from your fucking company? Nobody else even knows she likes them...I can't open it, it is sealed shut so it would be obvious I've opened the note. Shit. I would have thrown them in the bin already if it was you, but I don't want to fuck up a chance for her to meet someone else, somebody fucking decent who deserves her."

"OK, alright. Look, I have to go. She's looking for me."

Polly ran back inside just as Piper rounded the corned into the stock room. "There you are! I've been holding this gift wrapped box for ages asking you to bring me some ribbon. Did you get it?it should be in one of these boxes that were delivered this morning..."

Before Polly could open her mouth to stop her, she had noticed the box of chocolates sitting in the top of the ribbons. "Ooh look Pol! Looks like I have an admirer! Where did these come from?"

"Uh...I don't know. They were just in here with the other boxes that got dropped off this morning...Are you going to open them?"

"Hell yes! I might even share them with you, if you get us a coffee?"

Polly waited while Piper looked at the hand written envelope. "Do you recognise the hand writing at all?" She asked nervously. "Um, no I don't recognise it. The last one was typed and printed out, so maybe they are getting braver." She ripped the envelope open and read the note, while Polly was practically hopping from foot to foot waiting to find out what it said.

"Come on Piper, spill! What does it say? Who is it from?"

Piper smirked and folded the note, putting it in her back pocket as she turned to walk away with the chocs.

"What the fuck ?! You can't leave me hanging. Who is it? Come on Pipes, just tell me!" Polly chased after her into the store room to be stopped by Piper raising her hand.

"I will tell you in good time. For now, we need a coffee to share these chocs out and finish the gift packs. These photos need to go today to the design agency. Don't lose focus Pol." She winked as she went back to work.

Polly went to pick up the box of ribbons and sent a quick text message:

'She won't tell me and she's hidden the note. Grinning a lot.'

Seconds later she got a reply back:

'I'll find them'

They got the gift packs prepared and took a heap of photos of the different sizes, agreed the pricing and offers they wanted to run with and noted it all down. Piper then called two design agencies for prices and went with the cheapest. It was a start up firm much like their own, which made Piper feel better about spending the money. She sent the photos through just in time for closing up.

"Are you coming out for a celebratory drink Pol? We've got so much done today I feel like we should toast it."

"I totally would, but I've got to get changed yet before Pete picks me up. We're going out to that new Italian on 17th streettonight. Maybe we can go out tomorrow nightinstead though? Then you can tell me about your secret admirer."

Piper had time to go home, eat and get in the shower before she went out. The note she got earlier was an invite to a bar in Brooklyn for tonight from Nicky. She didn't think it was a date, it seemed to be a pretty casual invitation to a night out. But Piper had no other plans and the least she could do was turn up and thank Nicky for the chocolates.

She got dried and changed into some skinny black jeans and a blue halter neck top. She curled her hair loosely and put on some simple make up and found some strappy heels in her wardrobe that would match nicely. She put on a warm wool coat and turned the lights off to make the short walk to the bar for 8:30. She didn't have to be there for a set time, just to tell the barman that was here to see Nicky when she arrived.

It was 5 blocks from Piper's apartment, in a part of town that was seeing a lot of investment from the regeneration of old warehouses that had long stood empty. A lot of new businesses were opening in these parts and maybe a few of them would be hearing about PoPi in the magazine that would reach this neighbourhood. 'Sandy's' was in an old building in the middle of the block and she could hear the music getting louder as she neared the door. It sounded like a live band was playing tonight and there were plenty of people buzzing around outside on the porch.

She opened the door and the music got a lot louder as she worked her way past a few people standing and watching the band as she made her way to the bar. Sitting on a stool at the corner, she tried to catch the barman's attention as he was serving a large group next to her. He nodded he'd seen her and she took a look around the place to see if she might recognise anyone in here. She actually had no idea what Nicky looked like, so she could be anyone on first glance. The barman came over to her "Hey, what can I get you sweetheart?" She asked for a large glass of white wine and he turned to start pouring it before she could ask about Nicky. He came back with the bill and she asked him about Nicky. "Who? No idea who that is. Sorry." Before walking away to serve someone else.

Piper decided to watch the band for a while, waiting for a different barman. Maybe she asked the wrong guy? She stood up and took her coat off, laying it across her lap when she sat down again. She asked a different guy about Nicky and got a shrug like he didn't know her either. What sort of a joke was this? She downed the rest of her wine and was about to leave, when the first barman came back over and put a margarita in front of her. "I'm told you'll like this, even if it's a little cold outside." Piper's eyes went wide at what he had just said. "What did you just say? Why did you bring me this?"

"Hey, I just took a drinks order and this was on it. Don't shoot the messenger sweetheart."

Piper looked around frantically for the person who just bought her this drink. The first time she ever met Alex was in a bar, where Piper ordered a margarita. Alex's pick up line was basically that it was a little cold to be drinking one. Could it possibly be a coincidence? Piper looked at the drink, not sure whether to down it or run away from it. Her eyes were constantly scanning the room to see if the tall brunette was watching her from a hidden vantage point.

She decided to drink it when someone tapped her on the shoulder. "Piper Chapman?" She turned around to see a short, wiry haired girl grinning wildly at her. "Yeah, whose asking?"

"There you go again with your name infatuation. It's Nicky. Nicky Nicholls At your service Ma'am. Have you just got here?"

"Er, yeah. Kind of. Well, I've had two drinks already. Did you just buy me a margarita?"

"If I say no, have I already lost you to some other suitor?" Nicky raised her eyebrow. Something that Alex was a fucking expert at. Why did she have to be reminded of her at every turn tonight?

"It doesn't matter. I've already drunk it anyway. Are you ready for a drink Nicky Nicholls?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?"

Piper laughed and looked for the barman to order another round. Nicky caught him first. "Same again?" She gestured towards Piper's empty margarita glass. "Uhm...no. Actually I think it's time for something different. What are you going to have?"

"Two beers then please."

Nicky took a seat next to Piper at the bar and they could stop shouting as the band went off stage for a break.

"So, Piper Chapman. You're pretty hot for a soap store partner of Polly. There was a real risk I could be meeting an old lady with a love of cats and knitted cardigans tonight on the information I had."

"Did she turn you down already? Am I your plan B?" Piper laughed as she took a drink from her bottle.

"Yeah, the chocolates don't work on everyone apparently. Only hot blondes with a penchant for complaining."

"I was not complaining! Well, I guess I was actually. How long have you worked there?"

"Um, like a year maybe. It's not exactly my dream job, but actually it pays the bills and keeps me from sitting in bars all day. So it's probably perfect for me when you think of it like that. Plus, the boss is a friend of mine and she's pretty cool. How about you? How did you get into the fast paced world of soap making?"

"Oh, my friend Polly started experimenting with making soaps at home one day after seeing some articles on the internet about how easy it was. I started coming up with new recipes and we got better at it, to the point where we were making far too much stuff to justify it as a hobby. We looked at what you could sell it for, so just started small really and got some local stores to buy small batches to see if it would sell."

"So it's early days still hey?" Nicky's phone was buzzing and she apologised as she took it out of her pocket. "I'm sorry, it's my boss. She's sent me like 10 messages since I got here. I've been trying to ignore her, but I guess it's urgent so I'd better take this."

Piper sat and waited for Nicky to return. The barman came over with another margarita for her and she tried to send it away "I'm sorry, I don't know who is sending these over, but I'm not drinking these tonight." He smiled and pushed the drink back towards her, with a napkin folded over next to it.

Opening the napkin, there was a message inside written in capital letters: 'Enjoying your date? You really shouldn't mix your drinks you know. I suggest you stick to tequila or you'll be too drunk for first base.'

Piper looked around again. Who the fuck was sending these to her? She ignored it and finished her beer. What was taking Nicky so long? What kind of a logistics emergency could there be at 10pm on a Wednesday night that need the customer services person to be talking from a bar anyway? The band were packing up and it had been 10 minutes since she finished her beer. She looked at the margarita again and figured it was already paid for. No point in wasting it then. She drank it while there was still no sign of Nicky. Seconds later another folded napkin arrived with a shot of tequila, wedge of lime and a salt shaker. Piper opened it up : 'Looks like your date isn't a fan of tequila. One for the road? And here's the money for a cab home. You are NOT walking these streets looking like that. You look fucking HOT tonight. X'

She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she read the last message, but looking around she couldn't see anyone watching her. She picked up her coat and went outside to see if Nicky was around. She found her huddled on the porch trying to find some signal.

"I'm so sorry about tonight. My boss is breaking my balls over this fucking big shipment we have going out tomorrow and she's got me checking all the timings before she leaves me alone. What was I saying about her being cool? Are you heading home?"

"Yeah, I actually had a great night though. It's a nice place and it was good to meet you. Maybe we can have that beer some other time hey?" Piper gave Nicky's shoulder a friendly squeeze as she went to hail a cab. A strange night, but interesting to say the least!


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Happy New Year to you all! Thanks so much to the couple of people who already left reviews. I'm glad it's all making sense and I know you want to see Alex make an appearance!

It made Piper quite smug that she could drink tequila on a weekday and still get up for a run before work the next day. She only ran 3k and her pace wasn't great, but she could feel the toxins sweating out and that is what mattered. She stopped at the park gate to do some stretches as part of her cool down routine, before walking back to her apartment to shower and change.

She knew Polly was running late today as she stayed over at Pete's last night and needed to go home and change. Dirty stop out. No doubt she would be getting the juicy details later anyway, whether she wanted to hear them or not. Getting in through the back door, Piper put her coat down and went around switching the lights on and opening the front door. There were still a lot of gift packs to be made up and the advert would be printed tomorrow to bring in more business if all things went to plan.

There was a steady trickle of customers that morning, some of them were here for the second or third time, so people were liking the products they had bought and word of mouth was helping sales already. Polly came in just before 1pm with coffees and a lunch bag.

"You look very...flushed. Is it the weather or have you been in Pete's bed a little longer than planned this morning?" Piper didn't need to see Polly's face to know she would be blushing now.

"No, it told you I had to get some things from my apartment before I-"

"Please. This is me you're talking to, not your Mother."

"OK. Yes, I got a little...distracted."

"By Pete's dick?"

"Piper! You're so vulgar."

"You love it. My being vulgar AND Pete's dick. Did you have a good night then? What was the Italian place like?"

Polly told her about the great food and authentic Italian experience they had, with the large opera singer standing 10 feet from their table all night bellowing out Nessun Dorma so loud they couldn't talk for most of the meal.

"Any chocolate deliveries with mysterious notes delivered this morning I should be aware of Piper? And are you going to tell me who sent them yet?"

"It was just Nicky, from the logistics place. It was a joke really, just following from the first batch. We met up last night actually in a bar not far from my apartment."

"Really? You went on a date with a woman and you didn't think to tell me until the morning after! What, are you back to being a lesbian again now?"

"No! And no to the second question too. It wasn't a date, it was putting a face to a name. She was really nice actually."

"Well, maybe she can be your date tonight when we go out and you can meet Pete too?"

"We aren't dating! It was a drink in a bar and that's all."

"Why don't you ask her anyway? I really want you to meet Pete and you'll hate being a gooseberry if you come alone."

"Ugh. Polly, I only saw her last night. She's going to think I do want to date her if I ask to go out again. Fuck, even if we were dating, I'd be playing it more cool than this! Can we do it on Friday instead? That way we can celebrate the advert going to press and there's a day for her to make her excuses to not go out with me - us."

"OK, call your not-a-date and ask her then."

Piper scowled at her and went into the back office to make the call. Jesus, this was so simple last night. There was no pressure, just a couple of acquaintances meeting up for a drink. Now it felt like she might seem desperate and the thought of rejection made her palms sweaty. Seriously, this was ridiculous. Nicky wasn't even Piper's type. Not that she really had a type when it came to women, did she? Nicky was the opposite of Alex from what she knew. Alex was tall, with gorgeous long dark hair, smooth pale skin and had an incredibly sexy voice. Maybe the opposite of Alex was exactly what she should be looking for though. Not that she was looking for a date, argh!

She dialled the customer services number and waited while it rang several times.

Eventually Nicky picked up, slightly out of breath. "Hi, NY Logistics. How can I help?"

"Hey Nicky, it's Piper. Been working out?"

"What? Are you saying I need to?"

"No, of course not! You just sounded a little breathless is all."

"So you're saying I'm fit enough for you already then?"

"Um, no. I didn't mean that either. Look, forget I said anything." Piper heard Nicky laughing at the end of the line. "Right, fine. You got me. Well done." Piper huffed.

"What's up Blondie? You calling to complain you didn't get any chocolates this morning?"

"Yes, there was a definite lack of cocoa in my stock room this morning. It's absolutely unacceptable that you can tempt me with two boxes in a week and then leave me to go cold turkey when the supply dries up. What kind of a supplier are you? A good dealer would capitalise on my new addiction and feed it."

"Sounds like you know a lot about that marketplace Piper Chapman. Perhaps you can share your trade secrets and I will learn a few tricks from you?" That analogy had hit a bit closer to home than she had planned, so she floundered and changed the subject quickly.

"Ugh, yeah maybe. Anyway, um ...I was calling to ask you something actually. Don't think I'm a freak for asking this and I'm not a desperate singleton or anything, but would you go out with me tomorrow night?"

There was a short pause, which Piper felt the need to fill very quickly with an explanation about why she wasn't desperate at all...which made her sound very desperate indeed.

"So you're single then Blondie?" Jesus, it sounds like Nicky is enjoying making her squirm a bit too much for her liking.

"Yes. But it's not a date or anything. Or even a double date. You're just there as a friend to prevent my best friend from trying to match me up with a blind date. All you have to do is laugh at my jokes and drink, I promise."

"You're asking a lot there Piper Chapman. How many jokes will I have to pretend are funny exactly?"

"Fucking all of them. And I'll pay for your drinks. Do we have a deal?"

"Sure Blondie. You had me at 'do you want to go out' to be honest. I'll give you my number so you can text me the address later..."

Nicky hung up and Piper felt relieved and exasperated at the conversation she had just been having.

They got a proof copy of the advert from the design company and it looked fantastic. It was well worth the money they were spending. It was going to print tomorrow in the magazine and they just needed to get copies printed for the leaflets they wanted to post door to door now. Polly got some quotes from print companies and sent the design through to the one closest to them so they could collect as soon as they were ready.

The damaged 'sea kelp' soaps were dolled up with some bits of cut ribbon as the free gifts and set by the counter for customers spending the qualifying amount and the stock room was full of different gift sets. Piper was really hoping they could sell a couple of the big $100 sets, but she knew it was a lot to spend on soaps as a gift. She felt ready for a massive rush, but would be happy with enough new customers to break even with the promotion work with a healthy profit margin and the possibility of repeat custom.

The best friends arrived at work at the same time on Friday morning, neither of them with coffees. Polly offered to head out and pick something up straight away while Piper opened the store. As she opened the front door, a parcel delivery guy came in and asked her to sign for a package. She did and it was addressed to her, so she opened it. Inside was a basket of fruit with a note, typed and printed this time:

'It looks like writing notes is the best way to get your attention. No chocolate this time as you are a perfect fit for those running tights that hug your curves in all the right places. Mmmm, I'll be thinking of that while you're on your second date tonight. You might even get to first base this time.'

Was this Nicky? Was she teasing her again? Did that mean Nicky wanted to get to first base with her and this was her way of making it known she wanted that? Oh God, she was overthinking again. Just see what happens Piper.

Polly was back with the coffee, so she decided to show her the note to see what she thought it meant.

"It means she likes you Piper. It doesn't take a genius to get that from this note and all the chocolates you've been getting. She wants to lady kiss you, so I'll have to assess her tonight and see if she's worthy. You have an awful rack record, especially with women."

"You think? What about where she says 'on your second date' like its my date and not hers though?"

"I think what I just said. She likes you. So make an effort Chapman and you might not be a spinster by the time you reach 30."

Piper sent Nicky the address of the bar they were meeting in later. They decided against a restaurant for a first meeting with Nicky and Pete as it seemed a bit formal and they wanted a relaxed atmosphere, so a bar snack would be fine. Besides, it was easier to get drunk if it all went tits up and she could make a quick escape without waiting to go through three painful courses.

They locked up the store and went their separate ways to get showered and changed for the night ahead. Piper put her hair up in a loose twist at the back of her head to show off her long neck with the black dress she was wearing. It was knee length and perfectly contoured against her upper body before flaring out in a a little A-line cut at the knee. She put on some mascara and eyeliner to make it a nice evening look, with some pink lipstick and simple black heels finished it off. She picked up her coat and headed out to catch a cab to the bar they were meeting in.

Polly and Pete were already there, so she waved at them and walked over to the booth they were sitting in to let Polly make the introductions. Pete was tall and stocky, with an athletic figure and a good tan. A typical Aussie body and very typical of Polly's type to be honest. He had a genuine smile that reached his eyes when he was listening to them and seemed to be interested in what she was saying. Piper noticed Nicky was at the bar, looking around for them. She was wearing a tight black skirt with heels and a white chiffon blouse that showed a bit of cleavage, but not too much to be gratuitous. Piper headed over to say Hi and brought her back to the booth to meet the others.

"Nicky, this is my best friend and PARTNER in business, Polly. And this is Polly's boyfriend, Pete. I only just met Pete tonight, so I can only tell you that he is Australian and seems to be a good listener so far."

"Hi. Good to meet you partner Polly. Piper never fails to mention that you are her BUSINESS partner when she calls to complain about our poor delivery driver. Good to meet you too Aussie Pete. I see Piper has already noted your most important features." Nicky laughed easily with Pete as he told them about his other important features as though he were on a cheesy dating website. The waitress came over to take their drinks orders and hand them the food menus to look at. They all ordered beer to keep it simple and the conversation flowed easily throughout the night. Pete was great company and was a perfect balance with Polly's seriousness because he could make her laugh easily. Him and Nicky got on great and were bouncing off each other with the jokes and stories about wild nights out they had both been on. Piper found her cheeks were aching from all the laughing when she went to the ladies room. She decided to pay the bill herself tonight. She owed Polly for taking last weekend off and being a pain about the advert and she already told Nicky she would pay for her side - even though Nicky had done most of the joke telling and it was Piper laughing at her jokes.

She went to the bar and asked for the table bill discretely so Polly wouldn't be able to argue about it. When the bill arrived in a leather folder, she opened it to find a hand written note on a piece of paper.

'Please don't make it to first base tonight. I want to trail my lips down that long neck of yours so badly right now that I can't wait around to see if someone else does. X'

Fuck. Jesus fuck. She recognised the beautiful handwriting immediately. It was Alex.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks again for the great reviews! What a cliffhanger hey?! Here is the next installment, I hope you enjoy it. Please continue to let me know your thoughts - it's great to hear from you guys.

Polly noticed Piper had been gone a long time before she spotted her sitting at the bar. She walked over towards her and shouted her as she got closer. Piper shoved the note in her pocket and looked up at Polly.

"Hey, sorry. I wanted to cover the bill tonight and I knew you'd argue with me about it so I was trying to do it on the down low. I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass about the advert and you covered me last weekend. So this is me paying back one of the many favours you've done for me." She hugged her quickly to stop any more possible lines of questioning about why she was sitting at the bar and started walking back to the table with her.

"Well guys, I've had a really great night tonight. It was really nice to meet you Pete, you can have my stamp of best friend approval to poke my best friend now. Full steam ahead, so to speak. And thanks for being my guest of honour Nicky. You've been fantastic fun tonight, although I'm not sure I can ever eat pork chops ever again after that story you told earlier! I have to get going now. Beauty sleep awaits. Goodnight all."

She turned and speed walked out of the door and down the road until she could find a cab before anyone could stop her. She sat back in the cab and closed her eyes. Fuck. What the actual fuck was happening? It has been 4 years since she saw Alex and it was Piper who turned her back and walked away. 4 years without a single word spoken between them and she was here in the same city, right under her nose now. What the fuck was she supposed to do with that? Nothing, that is what she was supposed to do. Alex was a drug dealer and the reasons she left her 4 years ago were as good then as they are now. Alex was the reason she ended up in prison. If it weren't for her asking Piper to transport that money she wouldn't have lost a year of her life.

The cab pulled up outside her apartment and she paid the fare before standing on the porch and looking around at the street. Was she being watched? Was Alex watching her, stalking her? Jesus Piper, you're getting paranoid now. She unlocked the front door and went inside, leaning on the door as she closed it and slid the bolt across. Just as her life was changing for the better, fucking Alex had to come back and ruin things.

As they were on the run up to Christmas and were about to advertise in the local magazine, both of them decided to work on Saturday. Piper was grouchy because she hadn't slept well since she got that note last night and she hadn't gone for a run this morning either to work off any of the frustration. She resolved not to say anything to Polly about the note or her suspicions that Alex was somewhere close by. Polly and Alex did not have a good relationship when the brunette was dating Piper and her best friend was absolutely incandescent when she found out Piper was going to prison because of something Alex had a hand in. Nope, telling Polly would not help one bit right now. She had to deal with this on her own.

Polly brought a skinny latte and a double chocolate muffin in for Piper, which did lighten her mood a little. Not that Polly noticed that she was a little off to be honest. Her best friend was so busy waxing lyrical about how funny and charming Nicky was that Piper was barely needed to contribute anything to the conversation. The three of them had stayed on at the bar until last orders last night, so at least she hadn't dampened the mood by leaving early. Thankfully, Nicky hadn't felt abandoned either, having only met her co-drinkers hours before for the first time. Piper thought she should text Nicky to apologise for leaving her and try and smooth things over properly. It probably looked quite bad leaving so abruptly like that after she practically begged her to go out with Piper in the first place.

She tapped out a quick text to Nicky:

'Hi Nicky, had a great time last night. Thanks for carrying out your friend duties so admirably - though I think I did most of the laughing at your crazy stories! Sorry I had to rush away early, but sounds like you guys had a great night. P'

She decided against adding a X . It was too early in their friendship for a X . Or was it normal to add an X in texts between friends? Well, it's too late now, it's gone.

"Pol, I'm going to nip out to pick up the leaflets from the printers. Are you OK on your own for a bit and I'll pick us up some lunch on my way back?"

"Yeah, get me a salad will you? I feel like I should eat something good to make up for that giant burger last night."

Piper took her time walking the 7 blocks to the printing company office. Her head was a mess after seeing that message last night. She hadn't recognised the messages on the napkins the first time she met Nicky because they were written in a marker pen with capital letters. But there was no mistaking the beautiful loops of Alex's hand last night. She must have been there both times Piper was out with Nicky, but how did she know where to find them? Was she watching Piper's apartment? Was she paying someone else to watch her? To follow her? God that would be fucked up.

There were 1000 leaflets printed on glossy paper to collect. They looked really good and the photos had printed well to show the gift boxes. They just needed to sort out how to get them all delivered and which streets to target. She picked up something for lunch and headed back to the store with the leaflets.

When they sat down to look at a street map, it looked like 1000 leaflets wouldn't go very far at all. Considering how many blocks had more than 100 apartments in them, they had underestimated the job. They decided to target those that were walking distance from the store first and see how far they got. There were plenty of customers coming into the store today to keep them both busy though, so that would have to wait.

As they locked up at 6pm, Piper was looking forward to a long soak in the bath when she got home. A night in front of the TV with a bottle of wine and some peace and quiet was sounding like a perfect escape from the stress of the week. She checked her phone on her way to the subway station and there was a message from Nicky:

'You're welcome Piper Chapman. You weren't supposed to pay the bill though, so the next ones are on me. The big shipment went well on Friday, so the boss is taking us out for drinks tomorrow night if you want to tag along? Or do I have to send you an invite with a box of chocolates? ;-)'

Piper really liked Nicky, she was easy to get along with and always made her smile. A Sunday night out with her crew sounded like a fun time.

'Sure, sounds good. What time and where? If you send me another box of delicious chocolate at this point in our relationship, it either makes you my dealer or a love interest. Your move Nicholls ;-)'

The battery ran out shortly after, so she couldn't work out if Nicky took her time replying or not. Damn! She got through the door of her apartment and plugged it in straight away, taking her coat off and turning the heating up. It was only 4 weeks to Christmas now and it was really starting to turn cold when the sun went down.

She rustled up some spicy tacos to go with the bottle of red wine she planned to finish before she went to bed, before running a hot bath. As she was waiting for the water to fill up the tub, she checked her phone and saw a reply from Nicky:

'6pm at Sandy's bar. It doesn't matter which I choose, you'll want me to be both. You're already addicted Chapman.'

Piper laughed out loud at the reply. Typical Nicky and she had no come back to beat that. 'In that case I guess I'll see you tomorrow for another fix then. Or should I say 'it's a date' ? ;-)'

Piper got up early on Sunday morning to go for a run along the riverside. The air was freezing and it made her lungs scream for warmth, but her muscles felt good from the stretch. They opened up a little later on Sunday's, so she had plenty of time for an oatmeal breakfast and coffee at home before heading to the store. She set off a little earlier to post a few of the leaflets on her way there. She might as well get some posted as she was walking that way already.

Already there seemed to be more people coming into the shop and the gift sets were selling well. The day was going by quickly and Piper didn't have time to think tonight until she was locking up. She hadn't even thought about what she was going to wear yet and her feet were aching from standing up all day behind the counter. She was still looking forward to a night out with Nicky though as there was never a dull moment with her crazy stories.

She enjoyed a long, hot shower with some of their Christmas range of soaps. The 'cinnamon and honey' body wash was one of her favourites and she felt more festive just by bathing with it. Drying off quickly, she put on some skinny black jeans and a silk halter neck top in red that left her back bare from her hips to her hairline. She dried her hair off and left it down, putting some loose curls in it. Checking her watch, she needed to get going soon, so applied some mascara, eyeliner and a lush red lipstick as the finishing touches before picking up her leather jacket and strappy heels.

It didn't take long to find a cab and she was paying the driver outside of Sandy's in no time. At least she knew what Nicky looked like this time around and wasn't relying on anyone behind the bar. She pushed through the doors and walked over towards the bar, looking around to see if Nicky was already here.

"Yo Chapman, over here!" She turned to see Nicky waving wildly from a booth over by the pool table. Piper waved back and made the international signal for 'do you want a drink?' from her place at the bar? Nicky shook her head and waved her over. She walked towards the booth to find three other girls sat around the table.

"Piper, this is Lorna, Taystee and Poussey and they will be helping us to finish every round of whatever drinks get put on this table here. Starting with these...bottoms up ladies!" Before Piper could utter a 'pleased to meet you' everyone had picked up the tequila shots and lime slices and were ready to go. She quickly caught up and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she slammed her glass back on the table with the rest of them.

"Whew! Pleased to meet you all. Do you guys all work together then?" Piper couldn't help falling into old WASPy pleasantries when she met new people and Nicky laughed immediately at the innocent conversation starter.

"We do, but tonight is about drinking and forgetting about work. The only thing work related here is them covering the bar tab, so enjoy yourselves ! Beers next girls?" Nicky asked as she stood to go to the bar. "Wanna give me a hand with this round Chapman?"

Piper followed Nicky to the bar. " Is your manager going to pay for ALL the drinks tonight? I feel like I should be paying for my own, since I'm not an employee and all."

"Yeah, but your our best customer with your million dollar contract that we cherish so dearly. It's like a customer service activity having you here. I might even be getting paid to entertain you." She winked before waving for the barman's attention and ordering a round of beers.

"Oh I see. Get me drunk and I might be too hungover to notice any slip ups you make in the morning eh?"

"Geez Blondie, you're a bit forward. We haven't even got to kissing yet and you're talking about what we will be doing in the morning already..."

Nicky picked up her share of the beers and walked away, leaving Piper with her mouth open, her words of protest lost in the bodies between them now.

Piper rushed to catch up at the booth and narrowed her eyes in warning to Nicky, who just laughed. "Cheers!" Nicky regaled them with stories of the kinds of situations she had walked into when working as a pizza delivery girl a few years back and Taystee told them about a bakery she worked in when she was at College where the baker used to make holes in the donuts with parts of his anatomy. The drinks flowed and Piper was feeling buzzed when Poussey stood and challenged them to a game of pool. As they were deciding on teams, Nicky shouted to someone over Piper's shoulder. "Hey, Sasquatch, we're over here!"

"Piper, this is Alex. Alex, this is Piper."

Alex slid into the booth directly opposite Piper and looked straight at her as she said "Nice to meet you Piper." without missing a beat.

Piper sat staring right back at Alex, her heart thumping furiously. She could hear her blood rushing around her body, her mouth suddenly dry. Trying to appear calm to everyone around them and conscious of the long pause between Alex speaking and her reply, Piper smiled and said "Likewise Alex."

Alex turned to greet Lorna and Taystee and took a long swig of her beer before looking back at Piper. Piper's eyes had been fixed on Alex from the moment she sat down, caught between a death stare and shock at what just happened.

"So Nicky, did you say you are on a date tonight?" Alex looked at Piper while she spoke, assessing her reactions.

"Yep. Me and Piper over there."

"Really..."

Piper looked at Nicky with wide eyes "It is NOT a date Nicky! Tell her- everyone, tell everyone that this is not a date right now!"

Nicky laughed. "Pretty sure you confirmed it was in the last text you sent me when you were in the bath last night...I have it here somewhere..." She pretended to scroll through her messages as Alex looked over her shoulder at the phone screen.

Piper remembered the joke she sent and blushed dramatically. Alex laughed and said "Well, I do hope we aren't intruding. If this is a first date and all."

Nicky waved her hand "Nah, this is like our third date already. I think she'll be pushing for U-Haul next week. She seems pretty keen."

"I'm hurt. You didn't even tell your best buddy you moved past first base." Alex watched Piper as she spoke, seeing the realisation dawn on her that Nicky had probably been telling her all the details already.

"We didn't. I can't decide if she's playing hard to get or frigid. I want to know if it's worth the effort you know." Nicky smiled wickedly, knowing she was teasing Piper to get exactly the reaction that she wanted.

Piper stood up and turned her back to the table, letting her leather jacket slip slowly down her arms to her ass. Revealing her toned back inch by inch to a drooling Nicky and Alex, she hung up her jacket and glanced over her bare shoulder as she said "Oh, it's worth it."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks to those of you who have been posting a review on the latest chapters. I can't promise to keep up posting new chapters so quickly once I get back to work tomorrow (boo!), but here is a short one to keep you going until the next chapter is finished.**

Poussey returned with the pool cues in her hand. "Ready to play? Who's on my team then? I'm a mean pool playa" Taystee and Lorna ruled themselves out of the game, saying they would keep the drinks flowing.

"I'm game for a challenge Poussey so I'll be on the opposing side." Piper looked over to Nicky and Alex and looked up through her lashes at them as she asked "Who's gonna play with me tonight?" It was extremely hard to maintain a straight face when they practically scrambled over each other to grab the second cue Piper was holding out.

"Well I guess since we are on a date, Nicky should get that opportunity." She handed Nicky the cue and leaned into her ear while looking straight at Alex "Maybe you can show me that 'excellent customer service' you were talking about earlier now."

Alex raised her eyebrow and took the spare cue from Poussey. "Looks like there is a game to be played here. What are we playing for?" She stood and leaned in to whisper in Piper's ear "I do hope there's a juicy prize." The blonde felt her ear burn red as Alex brushed past her to help Nicky set up the table.

The electric charge between them had all of Piper's nerve endings on edge. Her heart was beating faster and she closed her eyes for a second to try and compose herself.

"How about this: If we win, the losing team has to post flyers for my new store campaign. If you guys win, we will pay for a meal for two at the new Italian on 42nd street." Piper made the suggestion because she was sure she was going to win. She'd had enough to drink to be in the zone now. Or to be overly confident in Nicky's completely unknown pool playing capabilities at this point.

"Deal. You can break since you stated terms." Alex pointed at the cue ball and walked to pick up her beer. Taystee and Lorna went for another round before anyone started to sober up too much.

Piper leaned over the table and quickly scattered the balls across the table with a powerful first shot. She stood back and watched Alex take a long drink of her cold beer. She was wearing a black shirt over a white tank, with black skinny jeans and loose biker boots. She had rolled the sleeves up slightly, enough to show the tattoo around her wrist, but keeping Piper's favourites under wraps. Her hair was still past her shoulders, with loose curls tonight. But the blue tips from when she last saw her in Paris were gone now.

She didn't dwell on that for too long as Alex walked to the table to make her first shot, sinking one easily. She took aim for a second and put that one away as well. Nicky walked over to Piper and leaned over. "I forgot to tell you, Alex is a pretty mean pool shark. I hope you've got some tricks to play Blondie."

Make no mistake, there were some tricks to be played yet.

Alex was looking for another shooting opportunity when Lorna returned with cold beers and Piper purposely knocked another bottle on the open top of hers to cause the beer to spill over the top. She turned around so she knew Alex could see her from where she was aiming with the cue and stuck her tongue all the way out to lick up the full length of the bottle.

"Wow Chapman, you didn't miss a drop there." Nicky laughed, seeing that Piper was trying to put Alex off. "Looks like you might have a hidden talent there Blondie." She grinned at Piper's tactics, seeing a different side to her. Alex missed the shot and narrowed her eyes at Piper as she went to pick up her own fresh beer.

Nicky managed to pull them level with a couple of good shots and Poussey was taking her time to assess her options for her move.

Piper walked to the juke box in the corner of the pool room while Poussey was checking her angles. As she read through the various hits, Alex walked up behind her.

"What do you think you're doing Piper?" She spoke close enough to her ear to make goosebumps visible.

"Er, choosing a song?" Piper didn't dare turn around to be so close to those piercing green eyes, so she pretended to continue perusing the song lists.

"With Nicky. I don't want you leading her on."

"What Nicky and I do or don't do is none of your business Alex." Piper was a bit pissed at the audacity of Alex to even have this 'protective friend' conversation and answered in an even tone.

"It is if you're playing games with her. That thing with the bottle earlier? She thinks that's for her. She thinks you're flirting with her."

"And what is your point here?"

"We both know you're not."

"Excuse me?" Piper whipped around to face Alex now.

"None of this-" Alex gestured at Pipers body from top to bottom "-is for Nicky."

"Yo Chapman! It's your turn and it's getting heavy over here" shouted Nicky from the table. No shit thought Piper.

She pushed past Alex to return to the other game that was being played. Each team had one ball left on the table and there was a clear shot for Piper to sink theirs. Piper smiled as she thought of the victory that was close. The great Alex Vause posting leaflets for their soap store in the freezing cold weather she hated so much. She stood up to chalk her cue, revelling in the moment. Just as she saw Alex taking her shirt off to reveal her pale arms and toned biceps in that tank top. Alex walked over to the end of the pool table and turned to put her right hand on the end of the table so her right bicep tattoo of the lady and the rose was right in front of Piper. She flexed her bicep as she stood there and raised both of her eyebrows at Piper.

Fuck. Mother fucker that was dirty tactics!

Piper stood and pretended she was considering a different angle. The game was so tense now that nobody was being rushed anyway. She made a 'timeout' signal and beckoned Nicky over to join her for a team talk. Stalling for time, she asked Nicky for advice. They huddled to get privacy from their curious opponents.

"I really fucking hope you're not expecting a motivational speech here Chapman."

"Really Nicky? This is our last play and you can't rustle up a little inspiration?"

"OK, OK...Right. I got it. Float like a butterfly, sting like bee."

"What? I was playing for time here, but that's actually not a bad idea. Fucking epic Nicholls!" She grabbed the sides of her face and kissed her forehead hard.

She took a breath a looked at Alex again, seeing the drug smuggler who led her to break the law. She saw the person who put her job before Piper on countless occasions and the reason she spent a year of her life in prison.

She leaned back over the table and looked Alex right in the eye before hitting the cue ball with force enough to sink their last colour and set up the black perfectly. She looked over at Nicky and winked, before sinking the black to finish the game.

Piper walked over to high five Nicky on their victory before turning to Poussey and Alex. "What time should I expect to see you guys reporting for duty tomorrow night? Make it after 6 please as I'm a busy woman. Nicky has the address."

She turned to Nicky. "I'm sorry, but I have to head home now. I've had enough fun for a Sunday night already. Yet another great night though." Piper leaned in to whisper in Nicky's ear, but from Alex's angle it would look like a lingering kiss. "Shall we take a rain check on the U-Haul for the moment?" She winked as she left Nicky smiling broadly and went to pick up her jacket.

Alex had her jaw tightly clenched when Piper stood in front of her putting her jacket on. "Oh, and Alex? THIS..." She gestured at her body like Alex did earlier "... This is not for anyone but me. Be under no illusions about that." Then she left without looking back.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews of the last chapter. There's a glitch on the reviews appearing since I first posted this story, so none of them are visible yet! Did I break it? ;-) Anyhow, we are starting to see more Piper and Alex at the moment - yay! I need them to iron some issues out before progressing the story so I don't have to think about so many plot lines overlapping. Hope you enjoy. Please leave a review, I love getting your thoughts back, thanks.**

Monday mornings were the dread of most working people. Not Piper, and especially not Piper when she had a mission. Today she was up even before the alarm clock went off at 6am. She was looking forward to a run and put on her running Lycra to set off for the riverside path. Selecting a pumping dance anthems playlist, she set off at a steady pace and turned it up to a punishing rhythm towards the half way mark. Although her limbs were moving to the beat, her brain was moving to the beat of Alex.

What was she doing in the bar last night and how does she know Nicky? She obviously hadn't told Nicky that she knew Piper already, letting her make the introductions. Perhaps Nicky didn't know about Alex's history with drugs and she was hiding that from her as well as the years she and Piper were together. Does Alex know that Piper went to prison? Would she even care if she had?

Piper hit 6k on her running app and turned around to head back at a slightly less furious pace.

There were so many questions she didn't have the answers to yet that she really didn't want to face more from Polly about the appearance of Alex all of a sudden. She didn't know how and why she had turned up in Piper's life and as much as the temptation was definitely there, she couldn't tell her to fuck off and die before getting some answers. No, she would not say anything to Polly just yet or to Nicky about their shared past. Already Alex was becoming the same dirty little secret she was when they first started dating. Why did it always go this way with them?

She began her warm down routine and made her way back home to shower. As she was getting dressed for work, a text came through from Steve. He was in New York for a conference later this week and wondered if he was still OK to get a tour if she was going to be around. There was a Christmas market in Union Square which she had been meaning to get to, so taking Steve would be a perfect excuse. She texted back to say she was sure to be around and he could crash at her place if he needed somewhere to stay.

Piper headed into work on the subway and picked up some mince pies from the coffee shop on her way to the store. A little festive treat for the customers, or an emergency lunch if it was busy. The magazine adverts would be published now and the edition was being posted already. They should see the store get busier - especially with the free labour she had secured to post the other leaflets tonight.

"Good Morning Polly! How are you on this fine festive morning? I brought mince pies." Piper grinned sickeningly as she placed the bag on the counter.

"Hello little miss sunshine. I'm fine thank you..." She replied in a slightly less cheerful tone and through suspicious and narrowed eyes.

"What? The magazine gets posted today so we could be crushed by a stinky mob in need of seasonal soap products soon. I have decided our last meal will be minced pies if that happens. I know, I know. I thought of everything, but you don't have to thank me. You don't. But I could use your help on improving those poor attempts I made at bows on the gift boxes last week. They look like a drunk person prepared them."

Polly rolled here eyes and helped herself to a minced pie before opening the door. "Well, looks like the stampede had a lie in bed this morning. I guess they are more of an after lunchtime crowd around here hey?"

"At least we have the ammo set up though."

They did some reorganising in the window display to showcase some of the Christmas products before Polly left to get them some lunch.

Piper glanced at the stack of leaflets that were to be posted tonight, remembering that they meant Alex would be coming right to her door. She would know where to find her and see their business for the first time. It made her a little nervous and she couldn't help but hope Alex liked it. She knew the brunette wouldn't bother hiding her contempt or indifference about it if she didn't like it. She also wouldn't pretend to like it for the sake of saving anyone's feelings, least of all Piper's. Piper hadn't thought of sparing Alex's feelings when she dumped her within an hour of finding out her mother had died. Remembering that made Piper nauseous at how callous she had been on that day, knowing it would have shocked Alex to see her be so cold at a time when she had never needed Piper more. Fuck. She had spent a long time burying this, expecting to never have to confront these feelings again because she would never see Alex. Perhaps she should call it off tonight and forfeit the win for the sake of keeping her sanity. It seemed like a good idea last night to make Alex do something she would hate, but now it was a bit too real to have to see her in the flesh in the cold light of day.

Piper called Nicky to see if she could call it off.

"Hello Piper Chapman. What can I do for you?"

"Hey Nicky. I was thinking that maybe we should let Poussey and Alex off from delivering this stuff tonight. It's freezing outside you know..."

"Are you kidding? Alex has been trying to get out of this all day with her excuses, there's no way I'm letting her get out of this. She has asked me if she can pay for someone else to do it on her behalf too."

"Well, you know maybe that's not a bad idea. If she pays to send a proxy, she is still doing the forfeit in a way."

"Nope. I want photos of her posting soap store leaflets in the roughest neighbourhoods of Brooklyn, with the winter rain beating her down. I've been looking forward to this."

"A little too much by the sounds of it! OK, but if the weather gets worse, we can call them back in. They will be here after 6 right?"

"Yep. Don't be a pussy Blondie."

Piper hung up and accepted her fate. Looks like she was going to have to suck it up this time.

Polly returned with lunch and the afternoon sped by quickly with a lot of sales being rung through. The mince pies seemed to go down well too, so they might try and do that again since there were only 3 weeks until Christmas.

At 5:30, Piper said Polly could get away and she would finish up tonight. She was going to keep the store open a little later while the girls were out delivering the leaflets anyway and if a few more sales could be made to passing commuters, all the better.

Polly didn't need any persuading to miss the worst of the traffic, so she headed off and Piper was manning the store alone by 5:45. She made a few more sales before Poussey and Alex came through the door at 6:10.

Poussey was grinning as she walked through the store towards where Piper was standing at the counter. "Hey Piper, good to see you! Nice place you got here, smells like da bomb too!" She picked up some of the products as she stood looking at the shelves and smelled them deeply "Mmmm, I think I need to remember not to eat this stuff."

"Hey yourself. Thanks, we are still working some things out yet, but business is really starting to pick up for Christmas now. Yeah, please don't eat anything in here. We do have warning labels on there too in case you get hungry and forget." Piper smiled warmly before looking around at where Alex was.

Suddenly aware that the conversation had stopped, Alex looked up from where she was at the front of the store and walked over to them. "Hey, nice store." Was all she said, before looking at the pile of leaflets. "Those for us?" Alex held her hand out as though she just wanted to get the Hell out of there, not interested in the smalltalk.

"Yes, yes they are. Look, it was just a bet, if you don't want to go out there and do this then we can call it-"

"It's fine Piper. Just give us the leaflets. What area are we posting in?" Alex cut her off quickly.

"Yeah man, there's no way I'm punking out. I got pride you know!" Poussey chipped in.

"OK, well I certainly appreciate you doing this for us. If you can take this side Alex, this leaves you with this area here Poussey." She pointed at the little street map. "Most of these are apartment blocks, so you'll be done in no time I think. Come back here when you're done so I can warm you up a little. I mean make you a coffee or something to say thanks."

Alex took her share of the pile and nodded as she headed out, with Poussey following quickly behind.

"Wait! Say 'cheese'..." Piper snapped a quick photo with her phone for Nicky. "Proof that you turned up." Alex gritted her teeth and turned to get this torture over with.

It was 8pm and they still weren't back yet. Piper was getting hungry and a little worried that it was taking longer than expected. She was looking at take out menus when Alex pushed the door open half an hour later.

"Hey, you're back. Where's Poussey at?"

"Hey, she had a call to sort something out for Taystee so I said I'd finish up her batch so she could get back. Sorry it took a bit longer than planned."

"Oh, OK. You didn't have to do that Alex, we could have just called it off you know. But thank you."

"No worries."

They stood on opposite sides of the counter for a few moments, the silence becoming awkward as neither of them knew how to be 'normal' around each other.

"I was just about to order take out if you're hungry? I said coffee earlier, but I'm way past that since I haven't eaten since 1...Unless you need to be someplace else?" Piper was grateful for Alex delivering all of those leaflets for her and she also knew this was an opportunity to talk. She needed answers to some burning questions and didn't know if there would be another chance.

"Takeout sounds good. Um, are we eating here?"

"Yeah, if that's ok? Neutral ground and all that...Pizza or Chinese?"

"Pizza would be great. Listen, Poussey dropped me 20 bucks for finishing her round, shall I nip down the street for some beers while you order?"

"Yeah, sounds good to me. We can eat in the store room so the customers don't think we started selling pizza scented soaps in the morning."

Piper ordered the pizzas for delivery and turned out the front store lights to show they were closed. She picked up the chairs and took them into the stock room and liked up some boxes as a makeshift table. She was fine until she remembered she was setting up for dinner with Alex. The first time they had been alone since she abandoned her 4 years ago and there were some pretty big topics looming over pizza in the stock room.

Alex returned with the beers and put them in the store room. Piper suggested they have a beer in the front of the store so they could see the delivery guy arrive.

Alex twisted the caps off the bottles and handed Piper a cold beer. The brunette held her beer out and said "cheers". Piper hesitated to clink bottles "What are we toasting?"

Alex thought for a moment "New beginnings?"

"I'm not sure you can have a new beginning without closure on the old one." Piper said quietly while looking at her bottle.

"Well, I don't think 'heres to opening old wounds' is technically a toast Piper." Her tone was measured, but the hurt was there in Alex's words.

Piper winced at the comment and was about to suggest this was a bad idea when Alex walked over to the selection of gift boxes next to the counter. "The shop is looking really good. Are these the sets you've been promoting?"

"Thanks. Yeah, there are some bigger ones out back but these ones have been selling well. Hopefully we can sell even more after you posted all the adverts tonight. Thanks for doing that, I really do appreciate it." Piper smiled.

The pizza delivery guy tapped on the window and she went over to pay and lock the door when he left.

"Mmm, they smell delicious. Are we heading into the other room then?"

They picked up the empty bottles and sat in the stock room with the pizzas. Opening a fresh bottle each, Piper continued to tell Alex about their plans for the store when she realised it was her doing all the talking and Alex doing all the eating.

"What are you doing these days Alex? Why are you in New York?" Piper tried to keep her tone light, but Alex saw through that and knew it was a much bigger question.

"Why don't you say what you really mean Piper?" Alex looked her straight in the eye.

Piper closed her eyes for a moment and took a long breath. She wasn't sure if she was ready for the answers she might get to these questions. What if Alex was still working for the cartel? Would she even be staying in New York and what if she wasn't? Would Piper even care if Alex left her life again so soon after she walked back into it?

"OK. Why are you here?"

"Well I could answer that a hundred different ways. Do you want to be more specific? " Alex knew that Piper hated this direct approach and deliberately put her on the back foot.

"OK, let's start with why are you in New York?"

"I live here and I work here. Next?"

"Are you still working for Kubra?"

Alex flinched at his name and swallowed hard before answering. She knew this was the big question for Piper. "No, I'm not. I'm not working for the cartel anymore." Alex looked into Piper's eyes as she spoke so the blonde would know it was the truth and she could see her reaction immediately. Relief. It was definitely relief she saw.

"Really? It's not the kind of job you can resign from Alex..." Piper's initial reaction of being pleased to hear Alex wasn't dealing in drugs anymore was replaced by suspicion. Alex could see that this was going to lead to many other, more awkward questions and she decided to choose a less painful version of the truth for now. "Yeah, well I did and I have a legal job and pay taxes and all that shit now. When I'm not playing delivery girl for an ex-girlfriend who saw an opportunity for some forced humility that is."

"You think this is me taking some revenge by setting that forfeit up? Fucks sake Alex, it was a spur of the moment thing. Anyone could have thrown an idea in the air. Or you could have declined, but your ego is too big for that. You're just pissed that you lost. You always were a shitty loser."

"Well, that's enough 'new beginnings' for tonight I think. I'm not seeing any clean slates here, so I think I will try somewhere else." Alex downed the rest of her bottle as she rose to leave. She picked up her jacket and went to the doorway, but Piper was blocking her exit.

"Why are you really here Alex?"

"I told you. I work here. Im not playing these games with you tonight. This is exactly the kind of scenario where we hurt each other and neither of us is ready to deal with that. I know it's been a shock seeing each other and maybe it's just too soon right now to be doing this." Alex wasn't sure whether she was convincing herself or Piper with those words.

"I work here? Is that all you've got? You turn up in the same bar with the same people I'm out with one night out of the blue after 4 fucking years of absolute silence and that's all the answers you've got for me?!" Piper was livid that Alex was trying to run. That was Piper's speciality and she hated that the tables were turned.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Alex pushed past her and strode towards the door before Piper could stop her.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Vauseman angst is in full flow. Thanks for the reviews, they really help me and I like to know you guys are reading these :-)**

Tuesday was really busy in the store and it took Piper's mind off the events of last night for much of the day. She had lain in bed last night wondering if she had pushed Alex too far or not far enough. The main thing she felt was frustrated at not getting the answers she was pressing for. Maybe the problem was the fact she started with the big questions. She should have started small and worked up to them, but there was a risk of Alex leaving before she even got that far.

As they were locking up, Polly couldn't stand the melancholy mood any more. "Are you gonna tell me what is wrong with you or should I expect the same mopey face from you for the rest of the week?" She stood with her arms folded in front of the now locked front door.

"Nothing is wrong, I'm just thinking is all."

"If you don't want to tell me, just say that. Don't lie to me though and tell me there's nothing wrong because I know you Piper. You are supposed to tell your best friend all your problems and deepest secrets you know. It's kind of the rules we've lived by, so I don't get why you're not telling me. Unless it's something I've done?"

"It's not you. I want to tell you, but I know you'll freak out and I don't have the energy to deal with that as well as what is already going on in my head."

"Well, this is progress. And so if I promise not to freak out, will you tell me?"

"You have to promise and if you break that promise I reserve the right to tell you to fuck off and not share again. Can you do that? Because I really need you to promise that and I really need to share this shit so I can make some sense out of it."

"That's a lot of promise for something I know nothing about just yet. You didn't make me promise like this when you got sent to prison so now I'm really trying hard not to freak out here... Alright. I'm gonna promise. Tell me."

"Um...OK. Whew! Here goes...I saw Alex last night." Piper left it there and winced while she waited for the reaction she was expecting.

"What the fuck Piper?! Where? Are you sure it was her?"

"Yeah, it was her. It's a long story, but she came to the pub with Nicky on Sunday night. God knows how, but they are friends and Nicky doesn't know we already knew each other, so it was a bit of a shock."

"Wait. You said you saw her last night. Did you mean Sunday?"

"Well, I saw her last night as well. She came to the store after you left..." Piper explained what happened on both nights and Polly did an amazing job of not losing her shit about this, to her credit.

"So, did she tell you why she was in New York?" Polly asked, still seeing a few missing pieces in the jigsaw yet.

"No. She just said she lived here and she worked here. But she isn't part of the cartel anymore, so I don't know what she's doing. She said it's legal and all though. And she said something on Sunday night about Nicky being her best friend, so I don't know how they know each other either. Small world eh?" Piper sighed at the strangeness of the whole situation she was in.

"Well she has to be lying anyway Pol. There's no way she would be allowed to leave the cartel just like that. She will be saying it to make me think she's all honest living to get in my good books. She's trying to manipulate me again and I'm not going to fall for it. "

"Pipes, as much as I want to agree with you. I have to ask, did you give her a chance to explain this without losing your shit? Before you jump to any conclusions I mean."

Not expecting any sort of a defence for Alex in the least, Piper thought about it for a second. "Well, I did sort of lose my temper with her a bit. She wasn't giving me any detailed answers, just saying she was here for work. You can't blame me for thinking the worst can you?"

"OK. I'm going to do something right now that you will not be expecting. I just need 5 mins to make a quick call and then I'll be back alright?"

Piper nodded her head and Polly disappeared into the back office for a few minutes.

When Polly came back into the store, Piper was leaning on the counter with her elbows. "Pol, I'm grateful that you haven't totally lost your shit with me over this. But I was expecting you to be gritting your teeth and being a lot more sarcastic and acerbic at the mere mention of Alex's name." It was as much a statement as it was a question. Piper had almost been prepared to defend Alex a little when she had this conversation, but it was unusually calm.

"OK. I have a teeny weeny fucking enormous confession to make now. So, like I promised earlier, please don't freak out when I tell you this." Piper was wide-eyed that Polly could even have a confession. She was such a blabber mouth, she couldn't keep secrets from Piper ever.

"Go on."

"Are you promising?"

"OK..."

"Right. Here goes. Alex works at NY Logistics with Nicky. That's how they know each other."

"Really? How come I've never spoken to her before then?"

"Because that was the rule we agreed when we set up the contract. You were never supposed to find out she worked there."

"Wait. You KNEW Alex was working there?! That she was here in New York and working for a company we are are using as a contractor and you didn't tell me?! Why the Hell would you keep something like that from me Pol?!" Piper was less bothered about Alex working at the logistics company than she was about her best friend keeping it a secret.

"Um, well it was what we thought was best. Look, I'm not going to speak for Alex, but I thought your life was less complicated without her in it. We could give them the contract without you ever needing to speak to her...at least that was the plan."

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Polly shifted to open it and a few moments later, Alex walked up to the counter with Polly walking sheepishly behind.

"Um, she told you then?" Alex adjusted her glasses nervously. She had no idea what Piper's reaction could be to this, especially after their arguing last night.

Piper stared back at her, not sure how she felt about the revelation just yet.

"Yeah, I told her we tried to keep it to a professional contract and you two never needed to speak. I think she's still a bit shocked."

"Pipes, can I leave you and Alex to talk and I will talk to you tomorrow? I am really sorry for keeping it from you, but I did it for the best reasons. I hope you can understand that? I'll see you in the morning." Polly picked up her coat and bag and left through the back door.

Piper stared down at the counter for a long time, trying to process the deceit.

"Say something Pipes. Are you mad?"

"Am I mad? I don't honestly know how I feel. I think I'm angry that you two made a decision about what is best for me without even asking how I felt about it. I'm shocked that you and Polly are on speaking terms. I'm relieved that you know Nicky through legitimate means of working together and she doesn't have a dodgy past that I will unwittingly find out about in the future. I guess I'm mad that you didn't tell me last night as well when I asked?"

"I didn't want to say anything without Polly agreeing it was OK to tell you. I would have dropped her in it if I'd have told you last night and then you'd be more mad. I'm sorry we didn't tell you. I just didn't think you would want to have anything to do with me and that was something I was coping with until you started seeing more of Nicky. Polly warned me not to play with fire by sending you those notes in the deliveries, but when I found out from Nicky that you two were going out, I guess I couldn't help it."

"So, the 'sorry for the damage I caused' was you? Of course it was! Only you would know they are my favourite chocolates!" She thought again for a second and spoke quietly now "Was that about more than the broken soap?" Piper dared to ask.

"What do you mean by that?" Alex asked defensively.

"Well, you know... I guess I'm saying were you apologising for the other stuff you did that caused damage? It just seems like it could mean more now I know it came from you."

"Why? Because you think I've got so much more to apologise for than a box of broken soaps? Seriously?! You are un-fucking-believable you know that?! YOU FUCKING LEFT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF A JOB THAT COULD HAVE GOT ME FUCKING KILLED IF I DIDNT COMPLETE IT AND WITHIN A FUCKING HOUR OF MY MUM DYING PIPER. If ever a fucking apology was overdue it's from your pretentious fucking mouth!" Alex was pacing the floor now, running her hands through her hair. "I can't believe i forgot what a self-absorbed asshole you are. Seriously. I need my head examining."

She made it to the door in seconds and slammed it behind her angrily.

xxxxxx

On Wednesday, Piper called NY Logistics to see if they could courier through an urgent order for them. An old lady from their neighbourhood had bought a couple of their big gift boxes and she needed them sending to South Africa to her daughter and daughter-in law who just got married over there.

Nicky answered in her usual disinterested tone "Hi, NY Logistics, how can I help you?"

"Hi, it's Piper from PoPi here, partner of Polly." She knew the tongue twister would crack Nicky up and it did.

"Hey Piper, you ought to get a parrot to paraphrase your particularly peculiar partnership."

"Well, maybe you could get one delivered to me and I'll teach it to call you and complain. I repeat myself most of the time anyway since you're always breaking stuff."

"Are you suggesting I don't take my customer services role seriously? Are you gonna take away your multi million dollar contract? Hey, I got you two free delivery girls only this week I seem to remember AND our company picked up your drinks tab on Sunday night. I'd say you are doing pretty well out of this deal so far."

"Oh yes, fair enough. We can leave the parrot in Africa for now then. But you'd better be ready to go and catch it if your standards start slipping."

"Sure thing Ma'am. Anything for our number one customer. Speaking of which, what can I do for you?"

Piper explained about the customer delivery and Nicky said she'd need to check on prices and shipment dates first and would call her back in a bit.

She went to see if Polly needed a hand out in the front and it was quiet for once. Polly sidled over to the side of the counter and nudged Piper. "Are we cool?"

Piper smiled "Yeah. I'm a bit pissed that you were treating me like a child by hiding it from me, but I can understand you were trying to protect me. I just don't get how it can be a total coincidence that she happened to find a job with the logistics company we chose, out of all the companies we could have been using. It's like she was stalking me."

"Pipes, Alex owns NY Logistics. She isn't even charging us for the work they do. She offered their services for free to help us get up and running. She didn't tell you that last night?"

Piper rubbed her temples wearily. "No Pol. Yet again, she has failed to mention something pretty fucking important when I asked her about it. Even when I ask her a direct question, she seems to prefer to lie to me than tell me the full truth at any point in time. You were probably right to try and keep her away from me. I don't have the energy to keep up with this back and forth anymore like I did seven years ago."

The phone rang and Piper picked it up, it was Nicky.

"You want the good news or the bad news Blondie?"

"Oh God, give me the bad news. I have to try and finish this day with something positive."

"You got it. The bad news is this shipment is going to cost this old lady a fortune - three hundred bucks."

"Well, I think she will pay that. It is a wedding gift after all. What's the good news?"

"The good news is we could pick up your parrot on the way back." Piper laughed out loud and said she would check the prices with the customer and keep her fingers crossed she would say yes so Piper's parrot could make the trip.

Since Piper had worked a few late nights this last week, Polly offered to lock up and let the blonde get away early. She needed to pick up some food anyway and it meant she had some time to relax tonight. Getting home, she made herself some pasta and poured a large glass of red wine to drink while she ran the bath. Walking around her apartment with the glass, she tidied the place up a bit and put some laundry in. Well, she might have a visitor this weekend if Steve was in the city. She didn't want him thinking she was a complete slob after being used to her Grandmother's perfectly clean house for the last 25 years.

Lying in the bath, Piper thought about Alex and how beautiful she still was. Apart from her losing the blue tips in her hair, the rest of her hadn't changed at all. She still wore that rock chick look as though she was in her early 20's and her skin was still pale and deliciously smooth. Piper remembered the butterflies she felt when Alex sat opposite her in the booth on Sunday night and Nicky introduced them. It was like meeting her for the first time all over again. Her lips were full and red with lipstick, which she licked whenever she had taken a drink of her beer. Her long fingers had caressed the sides of the beer bottle absentmindedly while she was talking. How Piper wished she could have been that beer bottle for a few moments as Alex touched it like that and drank from it.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Special thanks to Izzielg for the encouragement to continue at every chapter! It's so hard writing this without feedback, so I appreciate those of you who do review. There are also a lot of people rooting for Nicky to usurp Vauseman, which has surprised me. I am not writing Alex very sympathetically, which is probably because I chose to write this only from Piper's perspective. This chapter is pretty dark and contains some stuff that might be difficult to read for some of you so TRIGGER WARNING if that is the case. It's a long one, but I wanted to get it done in one sitting. Let me know what you think and hope you enjoy the way it is progressing. Thanks :-)**

The next morning, Piper got a text from Steve saying he was travelling with 3 other Doctors to the conference event and they were booked into a hotel near the venue for a couple of nights. The conference was on Friday, but they were all up for a night out afterwards if Piper wanted to join them. She texted back to say she was looking forward to it and to let her know where they were going closer to the time.

She got into the store and hung her coat up before shouting good morning to Polly and finding her on her hands and knees wiping up a spillage on the shop floor. "This body lotion is sure bringing out the shine on this floor, maybe we should change a few labels and see if we can sell it as floor cleaner as well. Who doesn't love a Pumpkin Spice smell on their wooden floors?"

"Erm, I think it might become a slip hazard there. The shine would suggest 'danger, slippy surface' to me. Do you think we need a warning sign? What if someone has an accident and we get sued?"

"Gee Piper, you're such a killjoy. When did you get so worried about risks?"

"Ooh,I don't know.. Maybe it was that time I moved drug money across international borders because someone I trusted told me not to worry about it and to live a little. Then I spent a year of my life in prison, not fucking living at all?" Piper said with a raised eyebrow. "Just guessing though." She smiled to soften the gravity of the statement a little.

"You know Pipes, I knew Alex being around you was going to be a bad thing. I think you should try and steer clear of her and carry on with your life as though she didn't exist – like you were managing to do just fine until recently. Why don't you go out with Nicky again? She seemed to cheer you up and you two get on well, maybe she is just what you need. She is gay right?"

"Pol, what is your obsession with labels? I don't ask you if Pete is straight do I? No, because it doesn't matter. If you like someone, you like them. Yes, I do like Nicky. I like her a lot. There isn't this animal attraction between us though you know. Like, I don't want to kiss her every time I see her."

"Piper, you can't compare everyone to what you had with Alex. You might have had that kind of attraction with her, but look where you two ended up? It was toxic for both of you. Maybe you should be looking for the freaking opposite you know?"

"And what is the opposite exactly?"

"I don't know. You're the one who keeps saying you keep your options open for who you are attracted to. Surely you should have twice the market if you're 'open minded' as you like to call it?"

"Hmm, maybe you're right. It's not easy going out to meet people when your best friend is all loved up at home watching romcoms with her Aussie boyfriend every weekend though." Piper narrowed her eyes sarcastically at Polly.

Piper told Polly about Steve coming up for the weekend for a conference tomorrow.

"Remind me who Steve is again? Is he the tall guy with short black hair and a year-round tan that hung around your Grandmother's place?"

"Yes, that's him. Well, he's a Doctor now. Well, he's training-"

"Oh my God, he's fit AND he's a Doctor too?! You've got to show me what he looks like!"

Piper flicked through her mobile for the photos they took at the lake the other week. "Here, this is us at the lake recently."

"Aww, you guys are so cute together! Please tell me you already climbed him like a tree?"

"What? Ew, no! Polly, he's like a brother. I've known him since we were kids. He's seen me naked more times than any man except my Father. God that sounds weird."

"Then there's all the more reason to do it again. Take tomorrow off and get yourself pampered if you're going out with him. Get back on the horse Chapman and work off some of that sexual frustration you're carrying around. You're like a coiled spring." Polly laughed as she went to help a customer at the front of the store.

The thought of having a day off for pampering was too good to refuse though, despite not agreeing with Polly's reasons for doing it. She got on the phone to book some appointments for tomorrow with a spa so she could read in between sessions and lounge in a robe all day. She was already excited about it.

Xxxxxx

The next morning, Piper skipped her run in favour of using the gym at the spa first thing. Her first appointment to get her nails done wasn't until mid morning, so she had time to use the gym and shower quickly before that.

She packed her gym kit and a battered copy of Captain Corelli's Mandolin as her activities for the day and set off. It was pure bliss to be able to work out, relax and see her work-worn nails transformed into sleek red talons. After a light lunch, she headed into a full body massage and settled on the massage table face down. The lights were low, with scented candles and ambient music playing in the background to add to the feeling of relaxation. The young woman who was doing the massage explained what she would be doing and asked if there were any areas that Piper would like her to pay particular attention to. Piper could think of a couple of areas that the she'd like the attractive young woman to pay some attention to, but they wouldn't be using the massage techniques she would have learned at College. So she circled her back and shoulders on the form and settled down.

The feeling or someone's warm hands running over her body where she could close her eyes and concentrate on feeling the skin on skin contact was divine. The Masseuse used a little oil as she ran her palms up and down Piper's arms, pushing the toxins out of her muscles and relaxing each set of muscles as she went. She didn't make any small talk, just let Piper truly relax into the massage. When she started on her back, she ran her fingers firmly up the sides of Piper's torso and back down her back to the base of her spine. Piper was surprised at how good the human contact was and she felt her eyes prick with the threat of tears as she remembered how she had yearned for it when she was in prison. She felt pathetic that she was now free from prison and still missing this kind of intimate contact from anyone until she was paying for it like this. It had been far too long since she'd had anything more meaningful than a one night stand and she was embarrassed that the masseuse working on massaging up her thighs was causing her to feel aroused.

Fortunately the towel around her on the massage table prevented the Masseuse from noticing and she was able to thank her and leave, taking her small pool of desire with her. She took a swim in the pool to cool down before reading for a while and finally getting her hair cut and styled before leaving for home.

She got home at 5pm and made some dinner while she listened to some pop music she could sing along to. Steve sent her a text to say they were just out for a boring dinner with the conference attendees at the moment and he'd let her know as soon as they could escape. She called Polly to thank her for letting her take the day off and see how bus the store was today, then texted Nicky to say she had the green light for the South Africa shipment and her parrot.

Since she didn't know what kind of place they were going to, it was difficult to decide what to wear tonight. She decided a short red dress would match her nails perfectly so draped it over her bed as she found a pair of red and black heels in the bottom of her wardrobe. She could put her long black wool coat over the top in case they were going to be outside in a nightclub queue later that night. The red dress was shoulder-less on one side and was well fitted to her body all the way down to where it ended at mid-thigh. Her hair had been curled loosely, framing her face and she spritzed a little hairspray over it to hold it in pace before applying some make up.

Steve texted to say they were on their way out of the restaurant when they paid the bill and did she know a place with some decent bars and clubs they could head to and meet. The only place she really knew was the stretch around Sandy's bar, so she replied to say she would meet them in The Persian Lounge at 8pm. She dabbed a little Chanel Mademoiselle along her pulse points and finished off her make up before heading out for a cab to the bar.

Piper arrived outside the bar just as Steve and his friends were getting out of a cab. She walked up behind him and put her hands over his eyes as he turned from paying the cab driver. "Hey, my wallet is in my back pocket, you can take it… I'm only a poor country boy though, so you might want to give it back when you've opened it." He grinned as she let him go and he gave her a big hug, picking her up off the floor. "Hey you. Don't worry I'll protect you in the mean city streets country boy." She winked at him and kissed his cheek.

"These are my friends from work. Piper this is Cindy, just transferred to Boston from Chicago a few months ago." Steve gestured toward a short brunette woman who was about the same age as them. She looked pretty bookish wearing a fairly casual pair of jeans and a v neck sweater. Cindy held her hand out to shake and smiled quickly. "This is John, we worked under the same supervisor last year and endured Hell with him didn't we mate?" Steve slapped him on the back and John also held his hand out for Piper "A pleasure to meet you Piper." He seemed a good 8 or 9 years old than them and was dressed in a suit jacket and jeans, more like he was expecting to be drinking in a coffee shop than a bar tonight. "Then there's Darryl here, my best buddy at the hospital from the first day when we were fighting over the last parking space, making us both late for our induction." Steve laughed and Darryl smiled broadly at Piper "He always forgets to mention that I won the parking space in the end and he parked illegally and got a ticket. Nice to finally meet you Piper, Steve has been talking about you for so long I was starting to think he had made you up. Now I see you with my own eyes, I think he downplayed how hot you are." He winked at her and smiled at Steve as he blushed. Darryl was over 6ft tall with ebony skin and was built like a football player.

Piper suggested they go inside before they catch a cold on the kerbside and they walked to the door with Steve putting his arm around Piper's shoulders. John picked up the first round of drinks and they found a table away from the bar where they could talk. It was clear that they had already been drinking with their meal earlier, so they were bubbly and the conversation was loud. A lot of it was going above Piper's head as they talked about work or the conference a lot and Steve caught her eye a few times, smiling an apology at the hospital talk. He asked Piper to go with him to get the next round, so she could get a rest from the cardiac bypasses and arterial shunts.

"It's really good to see you and you look amazing. I wanted to tell you earlier, but I'd never hear the end of it from Darryl. You aren't bored with all the work talk are you? I guess we get a little self-absorbed in work since we spend so much time at the hospital, the conversations always seem to come back to it no matter how hard we try. I promise I will dump them if you give me a signal though." He smiled and nudged Piper's shoulder.

They brought a round of tequila shots back to the table and downed them quickly before asking where to next. Piper suggested Sandy's as she knew it was close by and had a good atmosphere on a Friday night. They walked outside into the cold night air as a rowdy group of students pushed past them towards the door. Steve reached out and took Piper's hand to keep her close. She felt safe with him and squeezed his hand before he interlinked their fingers. They walked like that and dropped back from the rest of the group a little as they made their way down the block to Sandy's. Piper thought it would have been nicer if Steve's friends weren't out with them tonight and they didn't have to make small talk with them. She was normally a sociable person, but it was clear from the beginning of the night that she didn't have a lot in common with these people other than rich parents and a good education. It wasn't who she was anymore and being with them brought back all the feelings of pretence and keeping up appearances that she has spent so long trying to shake free from.

They got into Sandy's and Piper ordered a margarita. It might make the conversation more bearable. She didn't want Steve to dump his friends and be teased about it, so resolved to make the best of the night as a group. They were huddled in a group near the doorway, being jostled as people pushed past them to get in and out of the bar. She finished her drink and said she was heading to the dancefloor for a bit as the conversation turned to medical degrees being cheapened by more poor people being allowed on them. Steve sensed her boredom and went with her to dance for a while.

There were some old 90's dance tunes on and they laughed at memories and dance routines that were popular when these songs were out. Steve twirled Piper around and joined in with the routines she was teaching him. When the songs got a bit slower, Steve asked if she wanted to go back to the bar, not wanting to be faced with either suggesting a slow dance together or appearing 'stiff' if he didn't. Piper took his hand and said she would rather dance with him for a while. She put her hand on his shoulder and rested her head against his chest as they moved slowly with the other bodies on the dancefloor. He put his arms around her waist and moved his hand to stroke her hair against his chest after a while. Both of them were very relaxed in each other's embrace.

After a while, the tempo of the songs picked up again and Steve said they should get some more drinks before they became too sober. They headed back to the group to get their orders and Steve said he was heading to the restroom. Cindy and John went outside for a smoke, leaving Piper talking to Darryl.

"He really likes you Piper. I've never seen him look at another girl like he looks at you tonight. It's a bit pathetic really that he doesn't have the balls to do anything about it."

"Darryl, we are really old friends and it's not like that between us. It never has been. Steve and I have been close for a long time, so it isn't a boyfriend / girlfriend thing between us."

"I didn't figure you were the type to be waiting around for Prince Charming somehow. I bet you prefer to be pursued by a tall dark stranger who will literally charm the pants off you…Am I close?" He smiled and raised his eyebrows as he waited for an answer.

Piper laughed because that described her first encounter with Alex perfectly. "Yeah, maybe I will put that on my online dating profile as a 'would like to meet'."

Steve came back and said he'd get the next round in if they gave him a hand at the bar. The three of them walked over to the bar and Darryl stood behind Piper and put his hand on her waist, leaning to her ear to whisper "Baby, you don't need to update your profile if that's all you need. I'm ready when you are to have some fun. I'm all in for a 'no strings attached' arrangement if you want to let off some steam."

Piper moved his hand from her waist and turned quickly. "No thanks."

Their drinks arrived and she downed her margarita before telling Steve she was going to the restroom for a moment. She pushed her way through the crowd of people and made her way to the queue for the toilets. She couldn't believe the audacity of Darryl treating her like she was suddenly a potential hook up after he had dismissed Steve as a competitor. What a douchebag.

She washed her hands and applied her make up again before leaving the restroom. As she came out of the doorway, Darryl was waiting for her.

"Look I hope I didn't come on too strong earlier. I've had a bit to drink, but I think you're a really beautiful woman and I just thought I would take a chance in case I never get the chance to see you again. You can't blame a guy for trying right?"

"You were out of line earlier. No woman wants to be treated like a piece of meat and that's exactly how you made me feel."

"I'm sorry OK, that wasn't my intention. Can I get you another margarita to make it up to you?"

"OK and maybe you should get some better pick up lines in future." Piper gave him a weak smile, clearly just wanting the conversation to be over. Darryl headed to the bar and Piper followed him, looking around for Steve or the others. She couldn't see them around the bar area anywhere or in the pool room at the back.

Darryl handed her the drink. "Here's to learning lessons." He raised his bottle in toast. Piper clinked his beer before taking a gulp of her margarita. "Where's Steve gone? Are Cindy and John still outside?"

"Wow, they've been gone a while. Steve went out to find them earlier and I guess he's not back yet. Maybe we should head outside and see if we can find them." Piper agreed that was a good idea. She didn't want to be left on her own with Darryl for any longer than she had to be and she was feeling quite drunk now.

Darryl led her outside and started guiding her towards the back of the bar with his hand on the small of her back. "Darryl, please take your hand off me. I can walk just fine thanks."

He moved his hand so it was firmly around her waist now as he continued to walk her around the corner into what appeared to be a very dark alley. "They were around here having a sneaky joint earlier…"

"Darryl, GET OFF ME NOW! Do not touch me. I'm not comfortable being out here in the dark and I'd rather go back inside now." She turned to head back and Darryl grabber her wrist, pulling her deeper into the darkness.

She threw her drink in his face and dropped the glass so she could slap his face hard with her free hand. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU BASTARD! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

Darryl put one hand over her mouth and another around her throat and pushed her roughly against the wall as her hands tried to pull his fingers away from her. "Listen here you fucking cock tease. Women like you don't come out wearing short skirts and whore nails if they don't want to be fucked. You need a real man to give you what you want and treat you like the whore you are. If you scream out I'm going to fucking ruin that cunt of yours while you're unconscious and bleeding on the floor if I have to."

He hiked her dress up around her waist while holding his other hand over her mouth. Piper bit his fingers hard and torn into the flesh as he cried out. She kicked him once in the shins and again in the balls as she wildly tried to struggle free. He lifted his arm and beat down on the side of her face repeatedly until she blacked out.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, especially those Guest reviewers who gave me some food for thought on the Nicky/Piper (Picky? Chaples?) dynamic and how Alex is coming across so far. I've been trying to prevent the 'love at first sight' storyline with a reunited Vauseman as I like the drama of them clashing and being drawn back together more than 20 chapters of 'I love you more'. I want to show that apart they remember mostly good things about their time together, but as soon as they meet, the bitterness of the reasons they broke up is still raw. We are already seeing them work through some of the big issues, so once we get over that, we will see some reconciliation I think. You will see how Piper is stronger as a result of her time in prison as we progress the story as well. Alex has to accept a new version of Piper and I'm sure we will get to have some jealous Alex in there - a jealous Alex is an impassioned one ;-) Hope you enjoy the next instalment and stick with me!**

Steve sat in the ambulance holding Piper's cold hand with both of his. He was watching the EMT like a hawk, mentally noting every check they were doing, frequency and any drug they administered as they travelled to the hospital. Piper was unconscious, but bloody as she lay on her back, covered with a red blanket to keep her warm.

Her hair was matted with blood on the left side of her head and her eye was closed over as the swelling increased, the purple bruising started to colour her face. She had a split lip and the blood had started to dry over it, smudges of blood over her chin as though she had tried to wipe it away. He could see hand prints around her neck above the blanket as she laid completely still, only the movements of the vehicle on the road causing her body to vibrate as they moved along the city streets.

He ran his thumb over her knuckles and realised they were all scraped and rough from the struggle. The lump that had been in his throat since he helped her into the ambulance grew to the point he couldn't breathe and he felt nauseous. These were all signs she had put up a prolonged fight. This little girl he had grown up with and loved had been hurt by a God damned monster he had brought into her life tonight.

They arrived at the hospital and the emergency crew was ready and waiting for them to open the doors. He jumped out and tried to keep up as the stretcher was put on a gurney and wheeled into the emergency room. The EMT relayed the important facts to the Doctor as they moved "Piper Chapman 27 year old female, found unconscious on the ground outside a bar having sustained a grievous physical attack by a male. Has consumed a significant amount of alcohol, been unconscious since we picked her up….. "

The medical conversations went on and Steve tried to concentrate on them, but hearing the hard facts listed in such a business fashion was a shock to him. He's had these conversations himself as a Doctor, but it all sounded so cold and clinical right now.

He was stopped at the door as they took Piper in for treatment. "I'm sorry Sir, we'll need you to give us some details here while Ms Chapman is seen by the Doctor. Did you say you are a friend of Ms Chapman's?"

Steve answered the questions as best he could and he knew he needed to call Piper's family to tell them she's in hospital. Where was he supposed to start with that conversation? He called Cal to try and explain and found himself struggling to get the words out between sobs. Cal didn't say much on the phone, but was setting off straight away for the hospital. Steve suspected Cal was going to rip him apart with his bare hands when he arrived and he would willingly take all of that.

The nurse came back over and said the police were here to speak to him and take a statement. He nodded his head and went to talk to them in a quiet room. "Mr Lockhart, please take a seat. I'm DI Singer and this is DI Curtis. Thanks for agreeing to speak with us, I'm sure you're very worried about your friend at the moment so we'll try not to keep you. We just need to ask you some questions about what happened tonight and take a brief statement while things are fresh in your mind."

Steve sat down and nodded his head, waiting for the questions to start.

"From the beginning, can you tell us who you were out with that night and how you came to be at Sandy's bar?" Steve explained about the conference and how the 5 of them had met in another bar first before moving to Sandy's, then explained that they'd become separated after Piper went to the restroom and that was the last time he saw her conscious.

"So, when did you leave Ms Chapman alone with Darryl Santos?"

"Er, maybe around 10pm. Piper went to the restroom and Darryl said John and Cindy were looking for me outside the bar. He said he'd wait for Piper, so I went to find them. I couldn't see them so I came back inside."

"You said Ms Chapman drank all of her margarita drink before she went to the restroom?"

"Yes, she downed the whole thing as soon as I passed it to her at the bar and went straight to the restroom."

"OK, It's just that we found a smashed glass at the crime scene that could be important to the investigation. It seems that Ms Chapman got another drink when she returned from the restroom and took this outside with her for some reason. She was drinking some strong cocktails very quickly…"

"She wasn't drunk though. I mean, she was buzzed you know, but she was walking and talking just fine. Don't think for a second that she is to blame for any of this!"

"Of course not Mr Lockhart. We just want to establish the timeline and understand what happened is all. Nobody is making any judgements here. There seems to be evidence of a spilled alcoholic drink on the shirt Mr Santos was wearing, so we will be getting that tested." She paused to take some notes for a moment and then continued.

"Mr Lockhart, I know this is going to be very difficult for you and I'm sorry but I have to ask you for as much detail as you can give me here. Can you tell us what happened when you found Ms Chapman outside the bar tonight?"

Steve swallowed hard and sat on his balled up fists, looking at the table as he tried to compose himself and think logically about it all. It was a series of flashbacks in his mind and the police were looking for a chronological order of events.

"I went outside and heard a noise coming from behind the recycling container around the back. I walked around to try and see if I could see what it was, but it was so dark I couldn't see anything. As I got closer, it sounded like someone was struggling on the floor and I heard….well…like someone breathing heavily…like they were struggling…grunting I guess you could call it…"The lump in Steve's throat got so big he couldn't get any words out.

DI Curtis poured him a glass of water and they waited patiently for him to be able to continue.

I shouted to get their attention as I ran over to see what was happening. When I got around the container, the guy was standing up and fastening his trousers. Without turning around, he said "Nothing to see here buddy." Can you fucking believe that?!"

"Then what happened Mr Lockhart?"

"I…I looked past him and noticed a woman's legs at a funny angle lying on the floor behind him…I'm sorry, can we just stop for a second? "

"Sure. Take your time. I'm sorry we have to do this tonight."

Gulping down the rest of the water, Steve flexed his hands by his sides and took some deep breaths to try and regulate his breathing.

"I got close enough to grab a hold of the guy and saw it was Darryl leaning over Piper…."

He stood up quickly and vomited into the waste paper basket in the corner. He wiped his mouth as DI Curtis poured him some more water.

"So I grabbed a hold of him and, well, you saw the rest."

"We need you to tell us Mr Lockhart, for the record."

"I pulled him away from her and punched him. Repeatedly. Until someone pulled me off him."

"And could you see Ms Chapman at this point? What was she doing?"

"…She wasn't moving. She was lying on the floor and bleeding."

"Was she fully clothed at this point Mr Lockhart?"

Silent tears started to fall down Steve's face as he remembered seeing Piper lying there on the ground, her dignity lost to a growing crowd of helpers as he was restrained from going to her by a couple of guys who thought he was going to carry on beating the shit out of Darryl.

"Her dress was pulled up and her panties were pulled down to her ankles." He looked at the wall as he spoke quietly.

"Thank you Mr Lockhart. I know that was difficult for you. We will need to take a full statement from you tomorrow, where you may choose to have legal representation with you. We'll let you get back to see how Ms Chapman is now, but of course, we need you to stay in the city until we have formal charges prepared."

Steve left the room immediately and went to the nurse's station to ask for an update. The two DI's came by and asked the nurses to ensure that a rape kit was part of Piper's examination and to keep all of her clothes for evidence.

The nurse took him to one side to treat his hands. His knuckles were sore and cut and he had fractured one of them and not even noticed. He felt numb and completely useless as he couldn't see Piper yet. As he sat outside for some air, Cal came running in from the car park closely followed by Piper's Mother and Father. He stood and braced himself for what possible reaction he might get. Cal was out of breath and asked him where Piper was and to tell him what happened. Steve explained it with as few of the details as he could for the moment and Piper's mother slapped him squarely across the cheek before they walked inside.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I know the last chapter was pretty harrowing and Alex didn't save our Pipes in the nick of time (don't hate me). I've written this chapter from Alex's perspective, so we can see what she is thinking for a change. We'll get back to Piper as soon as possible, I promise. Thanks for the reviews as always folks. Hope you have a great weekend :-)**

 **ALEX POV**

It had been 4 days since she had seen or spoken to Piper now and the silence was deafening for Alex. It was making her snappy and irritable and there was nothing she could do about it. Well, there was, but that would mean walking into PoPi to talk to her and their face-to-faces weren't going so well at the moment. She shouldn't be bothered by this really. She hadn't spoken to Piper for 4 years until this past week, so 4 days should be easy. Maybe it could be if she hadn't overheard Nicky on the phone with Piper several times this last few days, laughing and joking with each other. She found herself tensing up every time she heard Nicky's phone buzz with a message, imagining they were always from Piper. Alex didn't even have Piper's number. So there were awkward face-to-faces filled with expectations of apologies on both sides and unanswered questions and nothing in between. She couldn't text a quick 'sorry I overreacted earlier' or a 'goodnight, have sweet dreams' when she went to bed. It felt like Piper was so near yet so far away to her now. She was finally able to see her and had been close enough to touch her, but hadn't dared to. She knew the touch of Piper's skin would keep her awake at night, yearning for more.

Alex had left her phone on the table in Sandy's on Thursday night and had called in on her way back from a cards night at Poussey's place last night to pick it up from behind the bar when she saw Piper sat with a group of pretentious looking academic types. They were clearly talking about something that Piper wasn't interested in as she looked bored stiff. It looked like a good opportunity to rescue her from a night that was dying a slow death if she could catch her away from the group. She bought a drink and sat at the far side of the bar for a while, watching for a break. She laughed when she saw her dork-dancing with a tall guy from the group on the small dancefloor, smiling to herself because she's seen Piper bust those moves before and they were just as bad back then. The songs changed to a slower pace and she saw Piper put her head on his chest, letting him stroke her hair as they danced together slowly in the middle of the crowded dance floor. Her heart was pounding and the jealousy cut deeper than she could have expected. Of course, she hadn't expected Piper had been celibate since they split up - as much as she preferred to think that she had been. She expected there had been other men and maybe even women since they were together. But seeing Piper being held so closely and tenderly by someone else was something entirely different and she wasn't prepared for that. Was she expecting to be able to walk back into Piper's life and win her over just because they had history? It was their history that was keeping them apart for all this time …How ironic. Fighting the hot-headed impulse to go over and pull him off her, she gripped the chair she was sitting on tightly and swallowed down the toxic mix of bitterness and self pity she was feeling now. She shouldn't stay here and watch Piper slipping further away from her and she downed the rest of her drink. She had to get out of the bar as quickly as her legs could carry her.

She had driven by the liquor store and picked up a bottle of bourbon on her way home and got through a good two thirds of it before falling asleep on the couch.

Now, slightly hung over and even more depressed than she was already she stood up slowly and brewed some coffee. She saw a message from Nicky on her phone:

'Yo Vause, don't worry about opening up today. We love standing outside a locked office door in the rain on a Saturday morning. Much rather stand here being pissed on than dealing with pissy customers anyway.'

Shit. It was 9:15 and she'd insisted Nicky and Lorna came in today to sort a big overseas delivery they had for a new customer. Not bothering to shower or change, she knocked the coffee off the boil and got in her Audi Q7 to open the office up. The downside of having trust issues was that she was the only one with keys.

The traffic was fairly easy, so she arrived within 15 mins to see a less than impressed Nicky huddled under Lorna's pink umbrella. She got out of the car and strolled up to the doorway.

"You two should put a cap out for some change or you'll never make a buck for a coffee." She quipped as she pushed the stiff door open with her shoulder.

"Fuck off. If you weren't paying us double time rates we'd have left you to deal with this shit today. This is way too early for me to be asking how I can help anyone other than a lady in my bed." She wiggled her eyebrows and winked at Lorna, who rolled her eyes and pushed past her to hang her umbrella.

"At least you admit you have to ask how to help a woman in your bed. Practice makes perfect Nicholls. Just a shame you're not getting much practice these days eh?" Alex threw back as she twirled her keys around her finger.

"Ouch! You offering to be my muse there Vause?"

"Fuck no. I'm way too gay for you."

"What's that supposed to mean? Last time I checked, I'm pretty gay you know."

"That's not what I meant. Doesn't matter. It was a joke."

Nicky looked confused, but turned to her computer screen to start it up while Alex walked through to the kitchen to put some coffee on for them. She hadn't meant to say those words, but after seeing Piper flirting with Nicky and then dancing with that guy last night…well, Nicky didn't know she was playing with fire there. Rule number one, never fall in love with a straight girl. Alex didn't want Nicky to date Piper, but she also didn't want Piper to hurt Nicky with her indecision depending whether this was dick week or vag week.

Alex poured the coffees out and took them through for Lorna and Nicky as they say working through the shipping schedules to distribute the order over a few different containers with enough space.

"Cheers Boss. Did you get lucky last night?" Nicky asked Alex.

Alex stopped in her tracks as she was walking out of the office, but didn't turn around to look at Nicky. "What? Why would you ask that?" She wondered if she'd been spotted at Sandy's bar watching Piper and someone had told Nicky, but she tried to keep her voice even and disinterested.

"Er, because you were at the card game last night? You normally clean up, so just wondering how poor you made Poussey before you cashed in and took pity on her."

"Right. Yeah, I did pretty good you know. Poussey has got some tricks now, so I've got to keep my moves sharp with her." She breathed out and walked away.

Nicky shouted after her. "Hope you were sharper than you are this morning. You might as well go back to bed Vause and come back when we need to lock up. You look like you slept in those clothes and that bourbon isn't smelling so good coming out of your pores."

Alex was seriously considering it, feeling like she crawled out of bed on the wrong side this morning. She was checking through her emails when she overheard Nicky on the phone to PoPi. She got up to close her office door, not wanting to hear Nicky bantering with Piper today of all days and stopped when she overheard Nicky's side of the conversation. She was talking to Polly by the sounds of it.

"…I just called to let Piper know that South African delivery went out this morning and it should arrive on Monday morning as planned….Yeah, that's the one…Where is my favourite serial complainer anyway?...Haha! Sounds like someone fancied a little lie in this morning then eh?... OK, tell her I said Hi." Nicky hung up the phone smiling to herself.

Alex pressed her door closed. Sounds like someone did fancy a lie in bed, no doubt she wasn't there alone either. Alex slumped into her chair and sighed, rubbing her temples. Shit. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to sweep her off her feet and it was all going to plan with the notes. It was ruined when she was opening her mouth and trying to talk to Piper. The right words wouldn't come out because the guilt and bitterness of past events bubbled over whenever she was with her. If only Piper didn't always want to ask the most difficult questions, pretend they were just meeting for the first time, she could have handled that so much better. God this was fucked up before it even started.

It was getting close to lunch time when Alex had gone through the most important tasks in her mailbox. She finally reappeared from her office cave and saw that Nicky and Lorna were going through the delivery books for Monday's schedule. "Can you be trusted to lock the place up if I leave you the keys? Turn the lights off, extinguish all naked flames, make sure the windows and doors are all secured and locked, in that order?"

Nicky gave her a wide grin, knowing this was a huge thing for Alex to trust them with the keys. "Sure thing Boss, you can count on us to extinguish the locks and secure the naked flames. No worries!"

Alex raised an eyebrow as Nicky, warning her this was serious. "OK. Here. I'm going back to bed for a while. If I get a call from the fire department telling me this place is charcoal before Monday, I will hunt you down and kill you Nicholls." Handing her the keys, she left the office and got back into her car.

XXXXX

Polly had been calling Piper all morning to find out where the Hell she was. She was supposed to be there helping with the Christmas shoppers. They made more money on weekends and especially in the run up to Christmas and the store was really busy today. The promotions had the place buzzing and she was seeing customers walk out after putting their prospective purchases back when they saw the queue for the cash register. Fucking Piper. Today of all days, she decides to go AWOL. After having a day off yesterday at the spa too. That's gratitude for you. She didn't even have the decency to text her to say she was either totally hungover or too busy having wild sex with her tall dark Doctor.

It was 1:30 when Polly's cell phone started ringing. She had it on the counter in case Piper decided to finally reply to any of the many messages she had left already that day. She was in the middle of serving a customer when she saw it was Piper's mother who was calling her. She left it until she was finished serving and the phone had already stopped. A voicemail beeped on the screen and she walked to a quieter corner of the store to try ad hear the message.

"Polly, it's Mrs Chapman. I'm calling to let you know that Piper won't be at work today. I'm not sure if she's supposed to report in sick before 9am if she is the boss and we are a little late with that, but anyway… I'm letting you know she can't be at the soap store today. She's…..well…she's in hospital I'm afraid. She's been attacked…and…well, perhaps you could call me back on this number?"

Fuck. Polly could hear the pauses in Carol Chapman's message and could tell she was struggling to hold it together. It must be something serious, but what the Hell could have happened to her? Had she been mugged on the subway on her way into work? All this time Polly had been cursing her for leaving her on her own and Piper was in hospital.

Polly called Mrs Chapman back and found out that Piper was in the Mount Sinai Hospital and was attacked last night while she was out with Steve. The Chapman's had been there all night and her mother sounded exhausted. Polly needed to get to the hospital and see Piper, but she was stuck with the store on their busiest day since opening. She needed someone to hold the fort while she went to the hospital.

She called Alex on her cell phone. It rang out before switching to voicemail. "Alex, its Polly. Can you call me back as soon as you get this message please? It's about Piper."

Polly served the customers who were waiting patiently at the counter and 15 minutes passed without her hearing back from Alex. She tried again, tapping her hand on the counter as she waited for Alex to pick up. Voicemail clicked in again. "Super Cunt, where the fuck are you? The one time Piper fucking needs you to be there and you're the invisible woman yet again. I'll try calling your office and I'll have to call Nicky if you don't pick up. This can't wait."

Alex was getting out of the shower when she heard her phone ringing. She wrapped a towel around her and put her glasses on before walking back to her bedroom to find her phone. 2 voice messages had been left. Expecting to hear Nicky's voice telling her she managed to lose the keys or something, Alex dialled her voicemail up and listened as she sat down on the edge of her bed. She listened to the first message and was surprised to hear Polly wanting to talk to her about Piper. Oh God, what secret has Polly Hobby let out of the bag now that will make Piper hate her? She pressed to listen to the second message and froze with the phone still to her ear. Piper NEEDS her? What the fuck could she need Alex for today?

She quickly dialled to return Polly's call and got the busy tone. FUUUUCK! She was asking Nicky instead! Way to go Vause, another case of exceptionally bad timing. Fuck my life!


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks to Vausemania and WB79 for some nice reviews of the last couple of chapters. Hope this piques your interest guys! Piper is still unconscious at the start of this chapter, so another from Alex's POV here. Does she get to Polly before Nicky? Let's see...**

 **ALEX POV**

Alex dialled the store number for Popi on her home phone while her cell was trying to get through to Polly's cell phone. With both phones hands free in front of her she grabbed a pair of skinny blue jeans and a white tank to get dressed as she pressed both phones to redial. There was no answer on the store phone and Polly's cell was still busy. She pulled on a pair of black biker boots and a grey hoodie before grabbing her car keys and heading towards the store.

She had no idea where Piper lived and one of them should be in the store at this time to pick up the phone anyway. It sounded like it was urgent though, so hopefully all this running around with wet hair wouldn't be over a box of broken soaps.

Alex continued to try Polly's cell phone from her hands free in the car and eventually Polly picked up.

"Where the Hell have you been Alex?! I've been trying to call you !"

"I know, I got your messages but your phone has been busy ever since. Have you been voting on X Factor contestants or something?"

"Very funny. Anyway, I need you to come to the store for me."

"I'm already on my way. You sounded weird, like worried weird and you mentioned something about Piper needing me? What's going on?"

"You're on your way here now? How far away are you?"

"Like 5 minutes, I'm just around the corner at lights."

"OK, best if I explain when you get here then. See you in 5."

Polly hung up and Alex tapped her hands on the wheel impatiently waiting for the lights to turn. On go, she turned the corner and drove down the street, looking for a parking spot. She jumped out and locked the doors as she crossed the street to Popi. The front door was locked and the 'closed' sign was displayed. It was odd that Polly was at the store today, but it was closed. Alex could feel her heart beating faster as she knocked on the door for Polly.

"Hey, thanks for coming over. Come in. I've had to shut the store while I sort this out as there were too many people coming in and I couldn't serve and do this."

"Do what Polly? What the fuck is going on? Where is Piper? Is she here?"

"OK. I don't know all the details and I don't have time to go through everything with you right now. But I need you to do me a massive favour and look after the store this afternoon for me. I'd close it but we need the sales with Christmas coming-"

"You haven't answered my question. You said Piper needed me. Where is she Polly?" Alex's heart was thumping so loudly she started to worry she wouldn't be able to hear Polly's reply over the sound.

"She's in hospital Alex. There's been an accident. Well, she's been attacked. When she was out last night. I don't exactly know what happened, which is why I need to get to the hospital."

As much as Polly wanted to quickly state the facts and switch to showing Alex the cash register, she allowed her a moment to take the news in before continuing.

"I don't know how serious it is. I don't know who was involved or where it happened or…well, anything really. Other than she's in Mount Sinai right now and her family are with her…..Alex, I know this is a lot to take in right now and I'm sorry to drop this on you…I just really need you to help me out here and run the store for a few hours while I can get to the hospital and find out what is happening. Can you do that for me? For Piper?"

Alex stared back at Polly, not even blinking. Suddenly aware of Polly's hand on her arm, she looked down at it and then back at Polly. "Is she….do you think she will be OK? I mean…are they just keeping her in for observation or something now? Maybe just as a precaution you know?"

"I honestly don't know Alex. I only found out an hour or so ago and I'm as shocked as you are right now. I made some notes while I was trying to contact you to explain how things work, but I'll quickly show you the ropes if that's OK?"

"Yeah, of course." Alex spoke quietly, walking with Polly to the counter as she explained the store layout on the way. She was trying to listen as this was the only thing she could do to help right now, so she should at least try and do it well.

Polly went through the basics of how to run the purchases through the cash desk, said not to worry about the gift wrapping thing and where to get the pricelist information. She thanked Alex and was on her way out of the store when Alex shouted after her. "Polly!...Can you let me know how she is as soon as you get there? Please? Let me know if she is OK?" Polly smiled and nodded as she switched the sign to 'open' on her way out of the store, closing the door behind her.

Alex leaned against the wall at the back of the store, running her hands through her hair and rubbing her neck. Fuck, she wasn't expecting this to be the emergency. Then she thought back to when she saw Piper in Sandy's bar last night. She seemed to be OK when she saw her….Did that fucking dark haired bookworm she was dancing with try it on with her? She balled her hands into fists as she thought about them dancing together, him stroking Piper's hair all innocently. If he was responsible for harming a single hair on her head, she'd break his legs so help her…

The door opened and a couple of customers came in, so she went to the counted to try and read Polly's notes and remember what the Hell she was supposed to be doing here.

XXXXX

Polly arrived at the hospital just before 3pm and called Mrs Chapman as soon as she got off the subway to find out where Piper was. She was in the ICU, so Polly made her way there and saw Cal getting a drink from the coffee machine at the department entrance.

"Hey Polly, good to see a friendly face around here. Thanks for coming over." He hugged her briefly before picking his cup out of the dispenser and leading them towards Piper's room.

Piper was in her own room and Polly could see her in the bed through the open blinds of the window as they approached. Polly stopped outside to look at the scene in the room, shocked by all of the tubes and wires surrounding her best friend.

"It looks pretty scary with all those machines doesn't it?" Cal noticed Polly was hesitant about going inside the room. "It's mostly there for monitoring apparently. Checking her heart rate, blood pressure, breathing and stuff. There's a lot of beeping and machine noises in there, but that's all good and if anything changes they come straight in."

Looking through the window, Polly could see Piper's Mother and Father sitting by the bedside silently. It was as though they were willing her to wake up just by staring at her stoically.

"Is she asleep from medication or…." Polly couldn't bear to finish the question with the suggestion that it could be anything worse than a nap.

"She was unconscious when they brought her in ad they've decided to put her into a medically induced coma until they know for sure that there isn't any bleeding on her brain or damage there that could be made worse by her being awake. So they have been doing lots of scans and checks today. They can bring her around when they rule it out though, so hopefully we can talk to her soon."

"Good. That's good then isn't it? Am I allowed to see her Cal?"

"Yeah, as long as you signed in at the desk on your way here I think. Shall we go in then?"

Polly followed Cal through the door and greeted Piper's parents before standing on the opposite side of the bed to where they were sitting to see Piper properly for the first time. Tears started to fall silently as she looked at Piper's swollen face and split lip. There was a purple bruise over the awful swelling that covered the side of her face, completely covering her eye. She picked up Piper's hand and held it tightly while the monitors beeped steadily.

"Do you know what happened ?" She looked over at Piper's Father now and saw him looking at the floor before he spoke.

"She was attacked by someone who was out with the group she was drinking with at a bar last night. They found her outside at the back of the bar. She was laid unconscious on the floor when Steve found her…." His voice started to break and he stopped to compose himself before continuing. "The police have arrested him, so they are gathering evidence now. Of course, they will need to speak with Piper when she awakens…" Mr Chapman looked at his daughter as though he was hoping those words would be enough for her eyelids to flutter open.

"Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe I could pick up some things from Piper's flat for her? Actually, why don't I sit with her a while so you can get some rest? You have been here all night. Have you got somewhere to stay? I'm sure Piper would be fine with you staying over at her place, though there's not much room."

"No. We wouldn't want to be in Piper's apartment without her being there. It wouldn't feel right. We can sort out a hotel though, if you wouldn't mind sitting with Piper for a while. It's been a long night and we didn't really think about packing overnight bags at the time. The Doctors are planning to keep her like this for a few days before bringing her around, just so they are sure there is no long term damage. I'd like there to be someone here with her though so she isn't alone. I know you have the store Polly, but do you think you could be here for a while if we went to Connecticut to pack some things and return first thing in the morning?" Piper's Dad asked.

"I'm sure between me and some friends we can be here around the clock for her, don't you worry about that. As long as friends can stay if we aren't family that is? They might have strict visiting times for non-family members I guess?"

"When she is in ICU, they are more flexible about that. You can be here as much as you like. I know she'd like to have you here and that is what matters." Piper's Dad squeezed Polly's shoulder by way of thanks and said they would be back as soon as they could in the morning. Her parents kissed Piper on the forehead and Cal squeezed her hand and told her to be thankful of the break from them before they left.

Polly looked at all of the machines and wires attached to Piper, who suddenly seemed even smaller than usual in here. "What the fuck happened Pipes? This is some serious drama you've got involved in here you crazy cat. And now you'll have to lie here and listen to your mother for hours on end. That ought to wake you up sharpish!" She laughed gently while holding Piper's hand.

XXXXX

It was nearing 6pm and Alex was prowling the store like a caged animal, checking her phone every couple of minutes to make sure she still had a signal in case Polly was calling. She was desperate to lock up the shop so that she could drive to the hospital herself and see what was going on. But she promised she would stay open and keep things running normally until their usual closing time, so she gritted her teeth and watched the clock.

Twenty minutes later Polly called. Alex pressed the answer button on the first ring, almost shouting down the phone. "Hello?!"

"Hi Alex. Sorry it took a while to call, I've been with the Chapmans and you know how her Mother can be…Well, actually you probably don't I guess. But anyway, sorry."

"How is she Polly? Is she going to be OK?" Alex dared not breathe while she waited for Polly to answer.

"She's in an induced coma at the moment, so they can monitor her for any signs of brain injury or bleeding. She's got a Hell of a swelling on the side of her face, so I'm guessing they are worried about what damage that caused on the inside as well. She's taken quite a beating Alex…."

Alex couldn't get any words out to acknowledge Polly as she spoke. All Alex could think about was the dark haired guy with Piper and the fact that she could have prevented all of this if she'd pulled Piper away from him. Piper might have hated her for it, but at least this wouldn't have happened.

"Did they catch the guy who did it?" Alex managed to choke out the words.

"Yeah, the police have him. It was someone she was out with last night apparently."

"Can I see her Polly?...Do you think that would be OK?...I know I'm not like family or anything, but I'd really like to be able to see her. We were talking again before this and…I just need to see her. Please Polly."

"Look, I really, really, don't think you being here with Piper's family is a good idea. They know Piper was with you when she got involved with the drugs thing and I honestly think her Dad might kill you if you show your face here. But…they just left to pick up some clothes and stuff from home in Connecticut and won't be back until the morning. You might be able to see her tonight if you promise me you'll behave AND you're gone by the time they get back. Can you promise that Alex?"

"Yes! I will be on my best behaviour I promise. Can I come now?" Alex was already closing the store as she hung up the phone after Polly agreed it was OK and gave her the room information so she could find her. She drove to her apartment first to pick something up and got some flowers on her way to the hospital.

XXXXX

Steve had been at the police station for most of the day with a Lawyer, providing a full statement of the events on Friday night. It had been frustrating and tiring to keep going over the same points and he was conscious of being asked the same question several different way to see if his story changed. It was hard not to feel like he was the guilty party here and his Lawyer kept quietly telling him to calm down when she sensed he was getting agitated by the constant querying over his version of events. Darryl was pressing charges for unprovoked assault and it made Steve's blood boil that someone who he thought had been his best friend could turn out to be such a low life. It made him sick that he had ever trusted this guy to hang out with while they were studying. They roomed together in the early days and he had never even suspected Darryl could be capable of anything like this. For him to state Steve had attached him in an 'unprovoked assault' was absurd.

He'd been back to his hotel room to get some rest after being up for over 36 hours at that point. After a lot of tossing and turning, he did manage to get a few hours of sleep. He wanted to check on how Piper was doing as he was conscious the Chapman's will have been there all night and could use some rest. If they would even let him anywhere near their little girl now. Hopefully they could forgive him in time, but it didn't stop him from feeling constantly guilty about not finding her sooner.

It was 10pm by the time he arrived at the ICU ward and he could see there was a dark haired woman sitting in Piper's room. There was no sign of the Chapmans, so he knocked and opened the door slowly, not wanting to disturb them. The brunette didn't turn around as he walked over to the bedside, so he spoke quietly.

"Hey, how's she doing?"

Alex had expected Polly to return with some coffees, so when she heard a man's voice, she whipped her head around to see who it was in case the Chapman's had come back early. Seeing the dark haired man from Friday night looking for a chair, she lunged at him and knocked him to the floor.

"You fucking bastard! How fucking dare you come to this hospital to be anywhere near her!" she snarled as she pinned him to the floor by his throat. Steve was trying to push her off him to get the Hell out of there. She didn't seem to be in the mood to listen to explanations and he could see the fury in her eyes as she stared him down.

"What happened? Did she hurt your fucking ego when she refused to put out for you at the bar on Friday night, so you thought you'd teach her a lesson?!" Alex punched him in the face.

"W-what?! NO! It wasn't me!" Steve struggled to free himself from Alex's hold on his throat. "It wasn't me that raped her OK! It wasn't me!"

Alex froze. What did he just say?


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews (shout outs to ejm137, WB79, vausemania and izzielg for ongoing encouragement - thanks guys!)- it makes me want to keep writing and we all hate it when a story doesn't get an ending! Will Alex behave herself? Let us find out...**

Polly returned to ICU carrying two cups of coffee and leaned down to open the door to Piper's room with her elbow. Pushing the door open with her hip, she was surprised to find Alex straddling a guy on the floor next to Piper's bed.

"Well this is cosy. The biggest lesbian on the planet straddling a dick is one way to try and get Piper's attention I guess…..What the fuck is going on here exactly?!" Polly realised the scene wasn't entirely amicable as she came further into the room and saw Alex's hands around the guy's throat.

Polly put the cups down on the cabinet at the side of the bed and stood over them with her hands on her hips. Alex wasn't actually trying to kill him at this point, but she wasn't letting him get up either.

"This fucker was out with Piper last night and he knows what happened. I'm just trying to help him along with the details here." Alex never took her eyes off him while she responded to Polly.

"You would be Steve then? Nice to meet you Steve, I'm Polly. I'd shake your hand, but….maybe later."

"Shake his hand?! Are you serious?! This guy was with Piper last night when this happened!"

"Yeah, and he also beat the shit out of the guy who was attacking her…..It could have been….well, worse than even this I guess if he hadn't got to her when he did."

"WORSE?! Fucking worse Polly?! How could it possibly be any worse?!" Alex glared up at her, suddenly all the rage was back. The frustration of not being able to stop all of this from happening was overwhelming her and she slumped to the side, releasing Steve from her grip and moving to sit against the wall.

"Did you know she was raped?" Alex whispered, barely able to form the awful words. She didn't need to hear her reply as she saw the shock on her face immediately. "What?" They were talking in whispers now, as though they didn't want Piper to hear their words.

Polly looked at Steve as though asking him to verify what Alex had just said. He pulled himself into a sitting position, rubbing his throat and avoiding their eyes for the moment.

"Is it true Steve? Is that what happened?" Polly was desperate for him to say Alex had misheard him and that wasn't what happened at all.

"I didn't see it. I…I just saw her there on the floor and he was getting up from being on top of her. When I got him away from her, I could see her dress all pulled up…..I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I should have never asked her to come out with me…..I brought that fucking animal into that bar and I honestly had no idea he was capable of something like this. Look, the Chapman's don't know. Don't say anything to them yet. Let her wake up first."

Alex turned away from Steve. She'd heard enough, maybe more than she wanted to. She went to Piper and sat down beside the bed. Seeing her beaten body surrounded by wires and tubes was enough to realise that beating on Steve wasn't going to change anything. She put her hand out to touch Piper's, half expecting Piper to either pull her hand away or move to link their fingers. But there was no reaction at all. Her fingers didn't even twitch as Alex stroked the top of her hand with her long fingers. Piper's hand was warm and Alex felt a tingle inside at the first touch in 4 years. It wasn't charged with the electricity of attraction, but relief. It felt like coming home, like their hands belonged together and had been reaching out for so long and now they were finally together again, as they always should have been. She looked at Piper's red fingernails, mostly ragged and chipped now but obviously done recently. Her knuckles were bloody and bruised, reminders of the fight she had put up to try and stop this monster from hurting her in the worst possible way.

Polly turned to Steve and said he should probably go. They were going to stay with Piper and the Chapmans would be back in the morning. He could get some rest and come back again tomorrow when her family was around maybe.

He turned to look at Piper, wanting to go over and hold her and tell her he was sorry. But he saw Alex holding Piper's hand to her lips, kissing her knuckles softly and moving her hand to brush against her lips softly.

"You're her aren't you?" Steve asked flatly. Alex didn't turn or stop what she was doing, as though she hadn't heard him speak.

"You're the one who broke her heart and nearly her mind when she tried to get over you. You're the reason she ended up in prison. You don't have any right to be here with her like this you know? "

"I know. I've known every day since she walked out on me how much I've hurt her." She pressed her lips against Piper's palm before speaking again. "I sure as Hell would have done a better job of protecting her from that creep last night though."

Polly moved to Steve and stepped in between him and Alex, in case she turned violent again. "I think you should go. Emotions are running high tonight and you've had a tough couple of days. Thanks for beating the crap out of that guy though. "

Steve smiled weakly and turned to leave, closing the door behind him quietly and leaving the three women alone.

When Polly turned back around, Alex had her forehead pressed against Piper's hand and her eyes closed. "There's still so much we need to talk about. So much I don't know about your life these past few years. He's right though isn't he? What right do I have to be in this room after what I've put you through? I'm sorry Piper, I'll never stop being sorry for what I've done."

They were interrupted as a nurse came in to check the machines and top up the pain relief. She smiled at them and said she wouldn't be long as she checked Piper over and made some notes on her charts. She reassured them that everything was as it should be and left them alone again. Polly could see Alex wasn't going to do anything but watch Piper all the time she was here and she didn't exactly have an easy conversational relationship with Alex in the first place.

"Alex? Listen, I need to be here when Piper's family come back in a few hours and you need to not be here. I don't know what time they might be here and the store needs to be opened again tomorrow. I can run things at the store once they get to the hospital, but maybe I could go and get a few hours of rest if you want to stay here with Piper? I'll need to get here for maybe 7am. Is that OK?"

Alex turned and smiled. "Thanks Polly. I appreciate you letting me stay, even if she's asleep I just want to be here with her." When she heard the door close behind her, she pulled out her old iPod and headphones and selected one of the cheesy playlists Piper put on there years ago. The first song that came on was The Wannadies and the 'You and Me song'. Alex smiled as she put one of the earbuds into Piper's ear and the other into hers and talked to Piper about the time Piper had danced around the kitchen in only Alex's Guns 'n' Roses t-shirt singing this song at the top of her voice. Alex had chased her around the kitchen table telling her she was going to ruin her lucky shirt singing that shit so she had better take it off immediately.

XXXXX

Polly arrived back at the hospital at 6:30 in the morning and she quickly checked the window to Piper's room to make sure the Chapmans hadn't arrived early. There was no blood on the walls and Alex was now sitting on the bed by Piper's hips, stroking her hair gently so she ventured into the room.

"Morning. How is she?" She picked up a decent coffee and a breakfast muffin on her way in and handed them to Alex as she sat down next to the bed.

"Thanks. She's OK. No change really. The nurses have been in every half hour to check on things and they say she is comfortable. They don't know for sure if she can hear anything you're saying to her, but I was rambling most of the night just in case. No doubt I'll have to repeat myself when she wakes up." She smiled at Polly as she spoke. "I guess I have to go now before the mob arrive?"

Polly nodded as she took off her coat.

"You take care Pipes and try not to drool in your sleep. You can do it in front of me, but other people won't find it endearing like I do. I hope I can see you soon and we can talk properly. As much as you think I might like to talk without you interrupting me with questions every two minutes, it's not been as enjoyable as I would have thought. Please wake up and call me a selfish asshole soon." She put the iPod in the bedside drawer and closed it over and leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead before turning to leave.

Alex got home and threw her keys on the table by the door. The apartment was cold and empty, but she was exhausted having not had much sleep the previous night either. She drank a bottle of water from the fridge and got into the shower to wash the grime from her body from the last couple of days. Drying herself off, she put on her Guns 'n' Roses shirt and headed to bed. At least she could stay here all day if she needed to.

XXXXX

The Chapman's arrived just after 8am and bustled into the quiet room full of apologies and cursing the city traffic. Polly gave them a quick rundown of any information she had gotten from the nurses and Doctors since they left and reassured them there had been nothing to worry about. She didn't mention anything about Steve coming back or Alex having been there at all. There was enough for them to be worrying about without adding more drama into the mix. She told them she needed to head off to get some rest herself – only a little lie as they didn't know she had slept last night – and went to open up the store for the day, promising to come back again later tonight. Cal was checking them into their hotel and would be taking the late shift while Piper's parents would stay during the day. So Piper wouldn't be alone at any point.

Steve called Cal on Sunday afternoon to find out if there had been any change at the hospital. Can said they were doing some final tests today and it everything came back OK, they would try and bring her round on Monday. There was no point in Steve going to the hospital today as there were plenty of people already there, but maybe come back when Piper wakes up. He decided to head back home for a couple of nights to get a change of clothes and let work know what was going on. His being involved in a fight and released on bail for the moment may mean he's not allowed to be at work with patients. He didn't know yet.

Polly went to the hospital in the evening after closing the store and having something to eat at home. She met Cal there ad he told her the good news about them planning to bring Piper around tomorrow as all the results have been clear. She stayed with Cal and Piper for an hour before heading out to go home for some rest. She called Alex on the way to tell her the good news and pleaded with her to stay away for the moment. She promised she would find an opportunity for her to come and see Piper when she was awake, but only if Piper wanted that. She had no idea what impact having Alex and her in a room together and communicating would have. Best to check the lay of the land first before setting off any fireworks, especially with a head injury as well.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I kinda had this one ready...**

Cal, Carol and Bill were at the hospital on Monday lunchtime when Doctor Shetty came into Piper's room to discuss her progress with them. He was a softly spoken man, with black hair which was greying at the temples and he stood at the end of Piper's bed as he checked over her charts.

"As you know, we've carried out a number of scans and checks on Piper since she came into the hospital on Saturday night. We have been checking to see if there are any sign of the brain swelling or any small bleeds in there that might give us cause for concern. With any head injury, it's important to monitor the patient closely over a number of days in case anything develops. Piper's results have consistently showed no adverse changes and she has responded positively to all of the treatment she has received. The head injury was our main concern of course and was the only reason we were keeping her asleep this past couple of days. Following the lasts tests this morning, we're confident now that she can be brought around to consciousness without any risk of brain injury."

Piper's family let out a collective sigh of relief and waited for the Doctor to continue, not wanting to interrupt his flow of apparently good news.

"We can begin this today, but you must not hurry her recovery. Piper may not have a full memory of the attack that brought her in here and that is something that may return to her very quickly or not at all. We will not know until she can talk to us, but I ask you not to press her to recall details of the night or fill in gaps with anything you have heard. The police will want to talk to Piper to get her statement of events and it's important that they are allowed to do that with the correct support from her medical team here. We won't allow Piper to be harried or tired by the legal process at all. Her health and steady recovery should be everyone's priority right now and the support of family and friends will be critical in that. Do I have your support with that?"

He allowed the Chapman's a moment to absorb his request before they all nodded enthusiastically.

"Good. We can bring her around in a few moments then. Please, let me do the talking for the moment when she wakes up so we can control the situation as much as possible and allow Piper to come around in good time." Doctor Shetty smiled warmly and went to get the medical forms signed and the nurses to begin the process.

XXXXX

Piper was lying on the beach with Alex in Boracay, they had just been snorkelling and Alex had insisted on coming back to shore so they could reapply sun lotion. She hated the sun and it was one of the only risks you wouldn't see Alex taking – sun damage of all things. Piper had rolled her eyes, but was laid down drying off while Alex got the sun cream out of their bag. They had been enjoying the peace and quiet of an almost deserted beach all day, so Piper was getting suddenly annoyed by the beeping noise she could hear in the distance. Who was making that noise and why didn't they damn well stop it? The beeping was getting louder and she couldn't place what it was as she was getting increasingly annoyed by it. She furrowed her brow and decided she would go and find whoever it was and give them a piece of her mind.

Opening her eyes with a start, she was more than a little surprised to find not so much as a grain of sand beneath her body and several pairs of eyes peering at her from all around her beach towel where she laid…which was neither a beach towel nor on a beach now. She squeezed her eyes shut again, hoping the beach was the reality she could go back to. Nothing. Just that incessant beeping and now people whispering her name…her Mother whispering her name. Oh God, what kind of nightmare is she having now. Please take me back to the beach! She opened one eye slightly, seeing if the view was anymore beach than last time….Nope.

She squinted her eyes open again, sneaking a look at her surroundings and suddenly feeling claustrophobic from all the bodies leering over her.

"Hello Piper, my name is Doctor Shetty and I'm the Consultant Neurologist at Mount Sinai Hospital here in New York. I'm sorry for interrupting your dreams there, but we needed to wake you up for a while – not least to see your family, who are all here for you see?" The nice man in the white coat gestured towards 3 sets of eyes looming over her on the opposite side of the bed, accompanied by three quite over the top grins. Piper felt herself shrink back from them. They looked like a caricature of her family…all smiley…and not at all like her family. Somehow her WASPy reactions kicked in and she was able to smile warmly back as her face muscles seemed to know the drill better than her brain. She looked back at Doctor Shetty, awaiting a damned good reason from him waking her up into this apparent nightmare situation.

"You have suffered a head injury Piper and we have put a bandage on your head there to cover a wound, but you've been asleep for a couple of days while we have been running some tests to make sure there was no damage to worry about. Everything looks OK and your test results are all clear, so we've been able to wake you up again today….." Aware that Piper was looking pensive now, he asked. "What are you thinking?"

Piper went to lift her hand to feel her head and saw the HR monitor on her finger. She followed the wire and could now see where the annoying beeping was coming from. Her brain and her heart. How ironic that those two things could give her dreams and take her away from them. Aware that the room was silent again, with all eyes still on her she considered that everyone was waiting for her to say something. Never had she had everyone's full attention like this before and it felt like everyone was holding their breath for her to speak, even her Mother. What an opportunity.

She opened her mouth, fighting to hold back a smirk as they all leaned in closer. "I…." Closed her mouth again as it was dry. She looked over at the pitcher of water next to her bed and her Dad immediately poured her a glass and handed it to her. She smiled and took a few sips, looking into the bottom of the glass, the room still silent. She put the glass down and wriggled to sit up a little. Cal rushed over to move her pillows. She smiled her thanks before reaching for her Mother's hand. If she'd have been holding Rosary Beads in a movie death scene, hanging on Piper's last mortal words it would look like this. Her Mother leaned in more to hear the all important words.

"I like hot boys and I like hot girls and you just woke me up from the hottest girl of all rubbing lotion on my back. I'm thinking couldn't you have left it another 10 minutes?" She snapped a mental picture of her Mother's face before turning sweetly to Doctor Shetty. She could hear Cal trying to keep his urge to laugh loudly to a restrained chuckle behind her.

"Ah, OK. Well that all sounds very good….Um, how are you feeling though?" Doctor Shetty was looking for something more medical she guessed.

"Like I have a Hell of a hangover and need to sleep it off?"

The Doctor chuckled and said that was to be expected and the drowsiness is caused by the medication, but she will tire quickly for the first few days.

Piper looked down at her hands now she was sitting up and saw the cuts on her knuckles. She closed her fingers into soft fists to feel they ached as well and she could feel the jagged edges of her red nails scratching against her palms. Stretching out her fingers again, she saw her nails had been roughly cut since they were painted and she was struggling to remember why she would do that.

Seeing Piper look at her hands, the Doctor asked if she could remember what happened to her.

She didn't look up as she nodded slowly and lifted her hand to feel her bandaged head. Her fingertips moved slowly over the bandage where it hurt, towards her face, which was still swollen around her eye. Feeling the swelling and the bruising across her face and eye, she dropped her hand back to her side and laid back on her pillows, deliberately keeping her eyes towards the medical staff rather than her family. Now would come the questions and she simply didn't have the energy or the answers right now.

The Doctor spoke again.

"OK. The police will want to visit later today to talk to you about the events on Friday night. Do you think you could manage that if you have a sleep now?"

Tiredness was overwhelming her and she nodded gently before closing her eyes and letting sleepiness wash over her.

Doctor Shetty turned to Piper's family now.

"This is completely normal and you will find that she will wake up for short periods and need to nap again for the next day or so. The good thing is, that she appears to remember what happened and so that indicates her memory is intact. I'll let the police know that they can come and speak to her this evening. We will continue to monitor of course, but we can move her from the ICU ward tomorrow I think and she can be somewhere with less beeping monitors through the night". He turned to leave and the nurses made some final checks before leaving the Chapmans alone with Piper again. They stayed for another two hours before her parents went to get coffees and left Cal reading in the corner.

Piper opened one eye slowly to make sure they were gone before checking Cal was alone.

"Jesus. Couldn't you get rid of them any sooner?!" Piper opened her eyes fully and glared at Cal, who laughed.

"Hey sis. How long have you been lying there praying for that coffee break?"

"Long enough to be sick of people observing me like a specimen in a science lab. Haven't you got something better to be doing than sitting in this place?" Piper hissed in case people were standing outside her room.

"Nope. Pretty much cleared my schedule for drinking shitty hospital coffee and watching you snore. Anyone would think you weren't delighted to have Mummy dearest fawning over you and looking down her nose at all the other patients in here. She's tried to have you upgraded you know?" Cal laughed. "She asked for something with a city view and an en suite - and I hear you're moving tomorrow, so keep your fingers crossed her gold card did the trick eh?" He winked as he scooted closer to the bed with his chair.

"Ugh. Can't you persuade them to go home for the night at least?"

"I might. If you can persuade me you are feeling OK…Go ahead, your time starts…now!"

"Seriously? I'm fine. A little groggy and aching all over, but I'm really OK. I will probably be sleeping anyway most of the time, so there's nothing to see here. Move along people." She waved her hands as though shooing them away from her and grinned at Cal.

"That wasn't a bad effort…I'm glad you're OK Piper. You had us all pretty worried there. The Doctor told us not to talk to you about what happened, but do you remember anything?"

"Yeah, unfortunately. I guess I'll have to go through all of that with the police soon and I really don't want to do it twice today. Do you mind if we skip the deets and get straight to the part where you're dragging our parents out of the hospital for me?"

"Well, I can see your Bambi eyes are still working perfectly." He rolled his eyes and considered her request.

"Alright, I'll do it. But I'll bring them back with camp beds if I find out you're not as OK as you make out. Do you want me to be here when the police come in to see you? Or maybe I could call Polly for you or something?"

"Oh, thanks Cal! You're a superstar! Um, no I think I'll be OK with the police actually. Can you pass me my phone though please? I can text Polly to let her know I'm back in the land of the living now as well. Unlike my phone, which needs charging it seems...Ugh. Can you call Pol and ask her to bring me some stuff from my apartment please? I'll make a list."

"Aaaand here's bossy Piper, back in the room. Sure, let me get you a pen…

XXXXX

Piper had time for another little sleep before the police came in and woke her from her slumber. DCI Singer and DCI Curtis were let into Piper's room by a nurse who told them that they were allowed no more than 20 mins with her before they had to leave so she could rest.

DCI Singer asked her how much she remembered from Friday night and could she tell them what happened after she came out of the restrooms in the bar and met Darryl outside. She told them about him apologising and offering to get her a drink, which she accepted, even though he was a creep for the sake of not upsetting Steve.

"Steve! Oh God, how is he? Does he know what happened? Is he OK?"

DCI Curtis reassured her he was just fine and was back home at the moment, but had been calling the hospital for daily updates. Piper relaxed some, but worried about what he might have been told about the night.

"So you agreed to let Darryl buy you a drink, right?" Piper nodded to confirm that is what happened.

"Did you see the bar tender make the drink? Did Darryl touch the drink before you picked it up from the bar?" DCI Singer pressed her to return to the events of Friday night.

"Erm….no. I was looking for Steve because I didn't want to be on my own with Darryl for any longer than necessary. I asked for a margarita and he went to the bar to get it while I was looking around for Steve. He brought me the drink as I was facing away from him I think. Why is that so important?"

"We'll come back to that later Ms Chapman. What happened next?"

Piper explained about wanting to find Steve and Darryl suggesting they look outside around the back of the bar. She told the officers how he was guiding her with his hand on the small of her back, then more forcefully around her waist after she told him to get off her. When he grabbed her by the wrist as she turned to leave, she threw the rest of her drink at him but he didn't release her…"

"OK Ms Chapman. How much of that drink did you consume do you think?"

"I don't know, not much. No more than a mouthful I'd say as I downed the previous one too quickly and didn't want to get really drunk with him anywhere near me. You're very interested in this drink. Can I ask why?"

"When we found the broken glass out the back of the bar, we had it tested and found your prints on it. It was your margarita glass and we found traces of a drug called GBL – short for gamma-butyrolactone on the glass, which tells us that your drink was spiked on Friday night. We think this was a pre-meditated attack Ms Chapman."

Piper was shocked and suddenly nauseous that this low life had planned to go out that Friday with drugs in his pocket, looking for an opportunity to prey on a woman.

"I know this is difficult for you Ms Chapman and we really don't want to keep you talking for longer than necessary. But can you tell us what happened after you dropped your glass when Mr Santos grabbed your wrist?"

She took a deep breath and told them about how he'd pushed her up against the wall by her throat and covered her mouth with his hand when she tried to scream. She recalled biting his hand to the point it was bleeding and him threatening to rape her and pulling her dress up…

Piper looked at the officers with wide eyes as she recalled the last things she heard him say before blacking out. "He….he said he'd ruin…" Piper closed her eyes to stop tears from falling. She was not going to cry through this and sniffed as she took another deep breath to get the words out in one go.

"Ruin my cunt even if I was unconscious and bleeding on the floor." She opened her eyes and fixed them on DCI Singer. This was the time she would either face it head on or elect to put her head in the clouds and pretend it wasn't real. The clouds were looking mighty comfy right now she thought as she remained fixed on DCI Singer.

"Did he?" She asked, her eyes not blinking or breaking contact. "Did he rape me?"

"Ms Chapman, you were found in a state of undress that made us suspect an attempted rape. Your friend Mr Lockhart provided a statement that also suggested an attempted rape had taken place, so we had to take measures to gather evidence and do some tests while you were unconscious in order to gather any DNA. We have run tests on your clothing, taken samples from under your nails and I'm afraid we also had to do some tests of an intimate nature to ascertain whether Mr Santos had penetrated you. All of these results came back negative, so it looks like your friend Mr Lockhart arrived in time to stop Mr Santos from carrying out those threats."

Piper fell back onto her pillows and cried, allowing the tears to run down her face, her body heaving for air. DCI Curtis left the room and returned with some tissues from the nurse, who followed him back and told them they needed to leave in the next 5 minutes.

"Ms Chapman, we have Mr Santos in custody already and he has denied any accusations of wrongdoing so far. We are confident with your statement and those provided by other witnesses, along with the physical evidence we have gathered that we have a strong case already. We will be in touch if we need anything further from you and of course, we will provide you with contact information for our Victim Support Unit in order that you have confidential and qualified help at all times through the recovery process. We're sorry you had to go through this Ms Chapman, but please be assured we will do all we can to ensure you receive justice. I'm glad you're OK Ms Chapman, have a good evening."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: So this chapter is tying a few things together and setting up the next chapters. To the guest reviewer who suggested Vauseman would be apologetic and grateful to a man...well, let's see where the story goes before pre-empting any Hollywood stereotypes. Thanks to the usual reviewers too. Always good to hear from you guys. Have a great weekend everyone ;-)**

Polly came to see Piper that night, bringing her a phone charger and the other things on her list as well as some celebrity gossip magazines to help pass the time.

"How are you feeling then?" Polly settled into the chair by the bed.

"I'm aching all over. I've got a busted rib which is making it hard to get comfortable in this bed and my head is aching between the meds. But not bad all in all." She shifted to get more comfortable to look at Polly.

"You look exhausted Pol. I'm so sorry you've had to run the store on your own this last few days. I don't know when I'll be out of here yet either. It sucks. Do you think we could get someone in to help you short term?"

"No, I'm OK. Honesty, I've managed to juggle everything around so far. It's only been like 3 days and Alex helped out on Saturday, so I got some rest."

"Alex helped?" Piper raised her eyebrows, checking she had heard her properly.

"Yeah, I called her on Saturday to ask her to run the store so I could come over and see you in here. She came straight away….She's been a Godsend actually…" Polly hadn't planned on singing Alex's praises, but she would be worn out if Alex hadn't looked after the store on Saturday and stayed with Piper last night.

"Well, just remember that when she comes calling for payback. Never thought I'd hear you call her anything other than SuperCunt, so 'Godsend' is a shock. Has she been using her super lesbian charm on you Pol?" Piper winked.

"You know I'm immune, so fuck off. It's you who needs a vaccine. The Vause Virus gets you every time." Polly raised an eyebrow to see if Piper would even try and dispute it.

"Yeah. Well like any virus, the body builds up immunity over time. My defences have got stronger in the last 4 years, so the Vause Virus would have to be damned strong to break down these defences." Piper said nonchalantly, folding her arms.

"Whatever you say. You keep telling yourself that. How long are your folks going to be staying in the city?"

"I don't know, but I hope they won't be here too long. I'm in here for observation and pain relief as far as I can tell, so I hope to be sleeping in my own bed again soon."

XXXXX

Piper plugged her phone in to charge when Polly left and rummaged around in her bedside cabinet for the chocolates she had left when she found an old iPod in the drawer. She pulled it out and turned it over to see the little yellow emoji sticker she had stuck on there when she and Alex were travelling in Europe. But how did that get into her room in the hospital? She thought she'd lost that years ago. She smiled as she ran her fingers over the sticker, looking at how old the technology suddenly seemed to be. Clicking the on button, she found it was nearly fully charged, so she put the earbuds in and had a look through the playlists that they created years ago. Piper found the one that she created specifically for relaxing on the beach and pressed play – Morcheeba. Perfect! She laid back and closed her eyes, transporting herself back to the beach.

XXXXX

The next morning, the nurses came to move Piper to a new ward with more people buzzing around. It was a general ward, but she still had her own room (no view though, her Mother wouldn't be pleased). The nursing staff insisted Piper sit in a wheelchair to be moved to a different room and she protested for a while, before realising how much her ribs hurt. Settling her things into the new cupboards and opting to sit in a tall backed chair by the bed for a while, Piper picked up her phone to read her messages. There were several from Nicky, the first teasing her about oversleeping on Saturday morning and a few updating her on the progress of her parrot from South Africa. She mustn't know about her being in hospital and probably thought Piper was being rude by not replying to her playful banter. She smiled as she read one that was sent this morning:

'Yo Blondie. I can't believe you suckered me into hunting down a South African parrot for you and just when it's going through passport control to get into the country, you go AWOL. Some Mother you're gonna be hey?'

Piper tapped out a reply.

'Well my lie in on Saturday overran so I only woke up yesterday. I hope you sent a welcoming party for my parrot ;-) '

Then there was a text from Steve on Monday night.

'Hey P, How are you? I don't really know what to say in a text other than I'm really sorry. That doesn't cut it I know. You probably won't want to see me after all of this, but I'd really like to talk to you and explain. I'm so sorry P, please forgive me.x'

Piper put her phone down for a moment, rubbing her forehead. She wasn't sure what her feelings were towards Steve. She was angry that he left her on her own with that fucking prick, but grateful that Steve had found her before he could do what he had planned. She also knew for certain that Steve would never deliberately put her in harms way. It was just too soon to be going over things and making a decision on a forgive and forget basis. The thought of it all made her weary itself. She needed to reply though.

'Hi Steve. I'm doing OK thanks. Yes, we should talk about what happened, but maybe not just yet. I'm still groggy and getting used to the whole being in hospital thing right now. I'll get in touch soon though. X'

It wasn't long before the Chapmans were bundling through the door, concerned that she might have escaped when they didn't find her in the ICU ward.

"There you are darling! Well it isn't exactly an improvement in your environment is it? It's even smaller than the first one they put you in!" Her Mother looked disdainfully at the laminated furniture and small window looking onto the fire escape. "How long are you going to be in here for then?"

"I don't know actually, they only moved me this morning. I'll ask the Doctor when he does his rounds later. It's not like I need a lot of space anyway as I'm only lying in bed or sitting in a chair. They could probably put me in a wardrobe for all I need." Seeing her Mother's mouth open to protest at the quality of accommodation they were paying for, she quickly cut her off. "I'll be back home very soon anyway, so I can't be bothered with all of the packing and unpacking."

Her Father smiled and walked over to put his arm over the top of Piper's chair. "Yes you will sweetheart. We just need to make sure your wheelchair will fit through the doorways in your old room or we will need to buy a slimmer one that will. I'll measure up while I'm here actually." He set to work asking for a tape measure at the nurses station as Piper looked wide-eyed at Cal.

"There's really no need. I'll be absolutely fine on my own. Really, you've done more than enough already. I couldn't possibly ask you to do that. No, I won't hear of it." Piper tried to be as assertive as possible to block this idea from ballooning.

The Doctor walked in to do his checks and Piper was grateful for the distraction from the building argument with her Mother. He was happy with her progress and they would likely be releasing her by the end of the week.

"Oh, that is great news. I'm so looking forward to getting back into my own bed."

"Yes, I bet you are. Your family have reassured me that you'll have round the clock care from them from the moment we let you out of here, so we're happy to agree to it on that basis and continue until we can sign you off and you are independent. Plus, you can spend Christmas at home together." He smiled, not realising the grenade he had just thrown into her escape plans.

"I can't go to my own home?"

"Of course you can. You just need to provide the names of the people who will be with you to provide that care 24 hours a day. Will that be your family here?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Polly had to look after the store during the day. Everyone she knew here had jobs and had to work so couldn't do it. Argh, this was so unfair!

"No. I guess I'm going to stay with my parents for a while then." She mumbled through gritted teeth.

"Good, we can make plans for the end of the week then." He left the charts on the bottom of her bed and left with his nurses, taking Piper's hopes of any peace and quiet with him.

XXXXX

Polly came to see her after work again and she told her how busy the store had been this last week. It was less than 2 weeks until Christmas and the gift packs were selling out as quickly as she could make them up. Piper was quiet and letting Polly ramble on about the sales figures before she stopped.

"What's eating you? You've barely uttered a word since I came in here."

Piper told her about her having a good chance of being discharged at the end of the week, the condition being that she had to stay with her parents.

"Wow. No wonder you're such a misery. How long for?"

"I don't know. Until I can tick all of the boxes on a form no doubt."

"How come you can't stay home?"

"Because I have to have someone with me 24 hours a day until they tell me otherwise."

"I could stay after work and I can stay overnight, but I need to be at the store during the day now. There's too much to do. Sorry."

"It's OK. I thought about it for a second and knew it would be too much. God this sucks."

"What about SuperCunt? She's the Boss so technically she could take the time –"

"No Pol. No way. I don't want her seeing me like this."

"Why? I don't think she'll care that you're wearing a bandage-"

"Absolutely not. I'm not having her controlling everything I do while I'm incapacitated like some Steven King movie"

"What are you talking about Piper? I'm sure she'd want to help you, not CONTROL you. Anyway, she's already seen you-"

"Promise me you won't let her see me like this? I don't want her pity. I couldn't stand to see her looking at me in that way. I know what she'll be thinking – she'll be thinking I'm a dumbass for letting this happen and not being more careful with the company I keep. Promise me Pol!" Piper glared at Polly until she got the answer she was waiting for.

"OK. Have it your way. I promise. For the record, I think you're being over dramatic about this, but it's your bedside manner you're choosing." Polly raised her hands in surrender.

"By the way, how did this iPod get into my drawer? Where did you find that? I thought I lost it years ago. Oh my God, there are some brilliant songs on here that I totally forgot about….Here, do you remember this one?" Piper handed her an earbud and Polly was grateful that she didn't have to answer the question in the end.

XXXXX

Popi had been open for all of 5 minutes on Wednesday morning before Alex walked through the door. Polly was on the phone when she saw the raven-haired woman walk purposefully to the counter and wait for Polly to finish her call.

Polly put the phone down and turned to see Alex glaring at her.

"Well Good Morning to you SuperCunt. To what do I owe the pleasure of a personal appointment today?"

"You know what. Why haven't you returned any of my calls? She woke up on Monday and I've had nothing from you since."

"Ah, yes. Well I've been very busy here and then with all the rushing to the hospital-"

"Don't bullshit me HOLLY. What happened to her? Has she got memory loss? Have they put her back into a coma because she didn't respond well when they woke her up? What the fuck is happening?!"

"She's OK. She's fine. Apart from the obvious – the head injury, the ribs and so on. She might even get out later this week."

"Good, well that's all good right. So why couldn't you tell me this on the phone instead of having me haul my worried ass over here to give you the third degree?"

"Well, like I said, I've been really busy. I was meaning to call but I forgot. Sorry, what can I say?"

Alex looked at Polly for a while. Long enough for Polly to feel uncomfortable under her gaze.

"She doesn't want to see me does she?" Alex sighed heavily and moved her glasses into her hair, leaning with the hands on the counter as she spoke.

"Can you blame her when you behave like such an ass?!" Polly glared at her for a moment, before remembering how tender Alex was with Piper the other night.

Polly sighed and raised her eyes to the ceiling for a moment, contemplating whether to send Alex packing or give her a break. She had been calling constantly for an update so it was clear she cared what was going on with Piper.

"She's stressing out Alex. Her family are swarming all over her and she can't get away from them. I think she feels a little trapped at the moment, with people surrounding her all the time. You know how she can be, she just goes off at the deep end without thinking." Polly let this sink in before continuing. "She is loving the iPod you left for her though. She has been listening to it everyday, so thank you for leaving that with her."

"Can you give me her number so I can at least try and talk to her?"

"At the moment, I think you need to give her a little space. Just let her calm down from the shock of all this will you before you go steaming in with any deep and meaningful shit or waving an angry fist? To be honest, I can never tell what you're going to do when you're together but I'm sure it can wait a few more days, right?"

"Can I have her number if I promise not to call it for a couple of days then?"

"No. I will give you the number when I think she is ready for lesbian drama and not before."

XXXXX

Alex arrived at the NY Logistics offices later in the morning and walked straight into her cave, closing the door behind her. She dropped into her chair and threw her keys onto the desk. There was no way Polly was going to give her Piper's number and she'd have to run the gauntlet of protective Chapmans who hated her to get anywhere near Piper, who didn't want to see her anyway. It was like a lesbian version of the Princess Bride, only the Bride wasn't going to let her in either even if she got that far. She hated waiting, especially waiting for other people to do something or decide something. It was always better to just sort it out there and then herself, unless she was the one making someone wait…well that was different.

Nicky knocked on her door and opened it a crack. "Hey, everything OK in here? You are sitting in the dark…."

"Darkness is my friend…. Did you come in here to offer to make me coffee?"

"Er, no. Actually I came to check you're still alive in here and see if you're coming out to play pool tonight at Sandy's…That was a question by the way. Are you coming to play pool tonight?"

Alex was staring at her computer even though it was only just booting up. "Er..I don't know yet. I'll see."

"You'll see? Geez, I know you're a commitment-phobe but it's only pool. We don't have to get married you know if you say yes. What's up Vause? You want to tell me instead of pretending that log in screen is the Da Vinci code you're working on?" Nicky sat on the sofa in the corner of Alex's office, indicating she wasn't leaving any time soon.

"You're nagging me plenty. Are you sure you're not trying out to be my wife?" Alex raised an eyebrow at her, trying to lighten up and deflect the questioning.

"In your dreams Sasquatch. You know I'm a free spirit that can't be tamed – even if you asked me on bended knee with your talented tongue." Nicky wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"That would make us eye level then."

Nicky rolled her eyes. "You're OK then?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Honestly, just work stuff you know how it is." Alex turned and smiled at Nicky now, hoping this was going to close off the conversation.

"Fine, but I'll take that as a yes for tonight at Sandy's. We're meeting at 8, so don't be making any lame ass excuses later." Nicky got up to leave and was heading out of the door when Alex stopped her.

"Hey, before you go. Can you give me Piper Chapman's number?" Alex didn't look at Nicky as she spoke, trying to avoid suspicious eyes.

"Yeah, it's on the system you know – under PoPi, but I'll send you the contact card in an email when I get back to my desk." She started to leave again when Alex shouted after her.

"No, I was after her cell number actually….She was after an update on an order is all and I couldn't catch her on the store phone."

Nicky walked back to the doorway, leaning against it now. "Well, I'm sure Polly could answer it. What order are you updating her on?" Alex could feel Nicky's eyes watching her carefully now and was regretting starting this.

"Alright fine. There isn't an order. Can you just give me her number please?"

"Woah! There we go! Now I see what's been eating you!" Alex didn't need to look up to know that shit eating grin on Nicky's face and cursed her pale skin for flushing an obvious shade of red now she was on the back foot.

"The number Nicky. Just give me the number and I will not fire your ass or murder you."

"No fuckin' way Vause! If that hot chick wanted you to have her number, you'd already have it by now….Well Jesus frikking Christ…I never thought I'd see the day you lost your game." Nicky was practically dancing in the doorway at the ammo Alex just gave her.

"I haven't even asked her for it, so I haven't lost my game at all. I haven't started playing yet Nichols." Alex retorted, trying to gain some sort of self respect back. It wasn't working as Nicky walked over to her clasping her hands together.

"Uh-uh. I saw her first and I got her number – WITHOUT even asking her for it. She gave it to me, WILLINGY. That's my toy and you're not playing with her."

Alex was incensed by the complete lack of control she had in the situation as it played out the same as it did with Polly earlier. Both girls seemingly taunting her with the fact they had her number and could call or text her at any time, but neither willing to give it to Alex – who really, really needed to have it now.

"You didn't and she isn't a toy."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Will Alex find a way to contact Piper? Will Piper be sucked back into WASPville or murder her Mother? This chapter will tell...Thanks for the lovely reviews again esp. Vausemania, WB79, Jamaindejamain, ejm137 and the mysterious Guests! Hope you're having a good day ;-)**

Late on Thursday morning, Piper was told she could be discharged tomorrow if she completed the paperwork to say where she was staying and who would be providing care for her. It all seemed a bit over the top for it to be 24 hour care, but if it got her away from the beeping monitors and back to some sort of normality she would go with it. The pain meds she was taking were pretty strong and she couldn't walk very far at all because of her ribs, so having someone around to help her was going to be necessary.

Her Mother came to the hospital with Cal at lunch time and Piper told them the good news. Bill Chapman had already set off home to prepare her old room, so everything would be ready when she could leave in the morning.

"Would you like us to go to your apartment and pack you some clothes for you dear? We could-"

"No. No thank you. I'll ask Polly to stop by tonight to do that. It's on her way home from PoPi anyway, so it will be no trouble. I'm sure you'll have packing of your own to worry about tonight anyway since you can stop living in the hotel now." Piper smiled sweetly, but there was no way in Hell she was going to let her Mother snoop around her apartment without being there to confine her to the kitchen. She couldn't remember whether she had tidied up or not and what she might find in her drawers. Best to keep her out, definitely. She made a list of things she wanted Polly to bring for her and emailed it through. She already had a key, so she should be able to bring everything tonight.

"So, I need to start filling in this form to say who will be looking after me. Have you guys drawn straws yet?" Piper asked nervously. She knew Cal would be missing Neri and he'd only be able to travel to and from his place in the woods so much during the day and her Father would need to catch up with things at work, having taken a week off at short notice.

"Well, I'll be home during the day Piper. Except for my Committee meetings, lunch with the girls and Bridge Club, I'll be there with you all day every day. It will be a great opportunity for us to spend some time together." Carol patted Piper's arm and smiled, though it wasn't a smile that reached her eyes. It was an 'I will be able to remind you about all the things you're not doing that you should be doing for a girl of your age' smile Piper thought. She filled in the discharge forms with all the enthusiasm of the forms she filled in when she arrived at Litchfield prison. Was that a fair comparison? It felt like one right now.

XXXXX

Polly arrived later in the evening, bringing a case of the thigs Piper had asked her for from her apartment.

"Here you go. At least you can wear your own clothes when you're locked up this time around, look on the bright side." Polly tried to lighten Piper's thunderous mood.

"Yeah, if only I was getting the same restrictions on their visitation times as I did in Litchfield prison. It's been way too much this past week Polly. I'm just not used to them being around me all the time and I can't escape it now."

"Well, you could always ask Alex you know…"

"We already agreed not to involve her in this. I'll just have to suck it up, but it doesn't mean I have to enjoy it."

"Hopefully, you won't be there for too long. I'm going to miss you being at the store on my own. I'll do my best to come down to see you, but with the store and everything it's going to be difficult you know."

"It's OK. I know you've got your hands full already, so I'll try not to pine after you too much."

XXXXX

Doctor Shetty came around to see her on Friday morning to do his final checks and give her the all clear. He explained that she would be assigned a counsellor from the Police Victims Support Unit and that this would need to be handed to a different state department since she was going to be staying in Massachusetts. She would receive a letter from them at her parents' address soon to confirm the first appointment. He explained her medication regime and if she experienced any unusual symptoms or headaches to go to the nearest hospital and explain her history to them.

Satisfied that everything was in place, her Father wheeled her out of the hospital and into the cold winter winds towards their car. Cal had already gone home, so it was just her parents with her now as she inhaled the last molecules of her New York freedom before being bundled into the car by an anxious Dad.

XXXXX

Although her Dad had insisted on wheeling her from the car to the front door, they had to concede to Piper walking up the steps through the door at least. He helped her into the front room, where a large Christmas tree had been set up in it's usual spot in the corner by the window. Seeing Piper's face brighten at the reminder of Christmas being next weekend, Bill switched the Christmas lights on to see them twinkle in Piper's eyes.

"Aw, thanks Daddy. I love the smell of a real Christmas tree!"

"I know you do sweetheart. Would you like a hot chocolate to warm you up?"

"Yes please! With marshmallows and cream?" She knew all the trimmings would be a given anyway, but she found herself reverting back to the little blonde WASP Daddy's girl after being in the house only 10 minutes. Maybe it wasn't going to be so bad being here for a bit of pampering afterall…

After drinking her hot chocolate, she was curled up watching 'It's a Wonderful Life' when her phone buzzed with a text from Steve.

'Hey Piper. I heard you are back home now, so I was wondering if it would be OK if I called around to see you and I'll call to collect your Grandmother and bring her too? I'm sure she would like to see you. I can still drop her off and collect her later if you don't want me to come in though. It's OK. Just let me know? X'

Piper knew she would have to talk to Steve eventually and she would certainly like to see her Grandmother too. Perhaps them being here together would make talking to Steve less intense.

'Hi Steve. Sure, come on over any time. I'm not going anywhere. x'

XXXXX

An hour later, Steve was coming through the door with her Grandmother and a bunch of flowers. Celeste came straight through to the front room to give Piper a hug. "How are you dear? I see your face is a little swollen, does it hurt?" She sat down next to Piper on the couch.

"No, it looks worse than it feels actually as the pain meds are pretty good. My ribs are making it more difficult to get comfy, but they will get better with each day so the Doctor says." She smiled reassuringly at both of them to try and put Steve at ease. He was still standing in the doorway holding the flowers and it felt strange not to see him be more at home. Then she remembered it was her Grandmother's house they spent all their time in and he wasn't used to being here.

"Hey Steve. Are those for me? Come, sit down and take your coat off."

Steve gave her the flowers and was about to turn and walk to the chair, when he felt Piper take his hand. He stopped to look at her and she smiled and squeezed his hand before letting it go.

The three of them talked about how much Piper's Mother hated her hospital room and how Polly was coping at the store, before Celeste made her excuses to leave them alone, saying she needed to speak to her Father.

Steve was looking at his feet, unsure whether to start with another apology or make small talk until Piper brought the subject up. Sensing his uncertainty, Piper was first to break the quiet in the room.

"I'm OK Steve. Honestly, it looks worse than it is. The police told me you got to me before anything really bad happened…before he tried to rape me. And they have a lot of evidence to use in the case now, so they are hopeful of a conviction."

Steve looked at Piper and tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but was unable to do anything more than nod.

"If you can't meet my eyes because you are blaming yourself, please don't. Neither of us could have predicted that would happen and I'm OK. Please know that I'm OK and I don't blame you." She smiled, trying to catch his eyes. "Now, come here and give me a gentle hug will you?"

XXXXX

"Vause, I've seen girls stuffing their numbers into your pockets when all you've done is glanced their way. You collect them like nerds collect stamps. So why do you need this particular number for your collection?" Nicky was sitting back on the couch in Alex's office now.

Alex adjusted her glasses on top of her head and sighed, turning her chair towards Nicky.

"I like her, OK? She's not like those other girls. She's different." Alex was trying to tell Nicky the truth without giving her the chance to make her feel any smaller than she did already today, having no control over the situation at all right now. She felt exposed in a way she wasn't comfortable with at all. Her armour was damaged and she didn't have time for repairs. Nicky and Polly were both used to the self-assured asshole Alex, who had a cocky answer for everything and always took the bull by the horns. She was the number you called to get a problem sorted quickly. She always knew someone who could help. That version of Alex didn't have feelings that could be hurt.

"She's different because she's straight Alex. She knows how to flirt and bat those cute eyelashes for sure, but stone cold lesbian she is certainly not."

"I know that. But when has that ever stopped either of us before?" Alex raised her eyebrow at Nicky.

"Fair point. We do like a challenge I suppose. But right now, I have the advantage on this one. So why would I give that up to make us level and help you gain some ground here?"

"Because this is the only girl whose number I would ever ask you for."

Nicky stared at Alex, digesting the words she had just heard. Alex was looking her in the eye and there wasn't a hint of playfulness or one-upmanship to be seen here. Although her face seemed determined, there was a hint of something in her eyes that Nicky had never seen before. She was trying to place what it was and why it was making this conversation so unusually serious between them. Normally, teasing about a girl's phone number would be playful banter between them but Alex had been determined all along. In fact…it was desperation.

"Alex…..When I said earlier that I saw her first and she was my toy…..You said I didn't. What did you mean exactly?" Nicky spoke softly now, conscious that this was dangerous ground to be treading with Alex. She didn't share feelings easily and Nicky only knew of one thing in Alex's past that had created that iron gate.

Alex didn't reply. She lifted her head towards the ceiling and closed her eyes, breathing deeply.

"It's her isn't it? The one who left you in Paris?"

"Yeah." Alex squeezed her eyes and tears dropped from her eyes before she quickly wiped them away.

"Jesus Vause... That's some fucked up situation right there. How the Hell did you two end up in the same City after all this time when-"

"Can we not talk about this right now? Please Nicky."

Nicky had known Alex for a couple of years now and they were close friends, but Alex had never liked talking about the girl who left her. Wouldn't even mention her name, just given really sketchy details to explain why she didn't do relationships when they had both been drinking one night and closed up again to never be discussed after that.

"Alright Alex, consider it off the table. I'll give you the number. But before I do, have you really thought about this? I mean, this girl fucked you over real good before. Are you sure it's a good idea to be going back there again? Some things are best left in the past you know."

"I've thought about it. I would really love to not put myself through this, believe me. I'd love to stop thinking about her, to move on. I've tried. God knows I've tried for 4 years to do just that. But seeing her for the first time again….Fuck. I could feel the electricity of that connection between us from across the other side of the room. I could sense she was in a building as soon as I opened the door. It's impossible to ignore that Nicky. Call it science, call it fate, call it fucked up. But I've not felt so much as a molecule of that feeling with any other person on this planet. How am I supposed to ignore that?"

XXXXX

On Saturday morning, Piper knew she'd had a good night's sleep when she woke up at 11am. Thankfully, her parents had let her sleep as long as she needed to and it was probably as much to do with her meds as it was being in a quiet room for the first time in days. She gingerly sat up in bed and turned around to put her feet down, before bracing herself to stand up. With pretty much zero activities or excitement planned for the day, she decided to make her way to the bathroom to run a bath. Picking up her bathrobe from the bottom of the bed, she stood up and put her robe on slowly. After taking a short rest on the end of the bed, she got up again to walk towards the bedroom door. Just as she got there, her Mother opened the door and nearly knocked her over.

"Piper Elizabeth Chapman! Where on earth do you think you're going? Get back in bed at once!"

"I was just going to have a bath.."

"Oh no you don't. Unless I'm with you to bathe you, you are to stay in bed at all times."

"Mother, I don't need you to bathe me. I'm perfectly capable-"

"You have just proven you are not! Please get back into your bed at once and I will bring you something to eat. Once you've eaten and I've seen you take your medication, we can discuss what to do about your bathing routine. I'm meeting Brenda at 1:30 though, so it would have to wait until I'm back. I'm sure your Father wouldn't want to be helping you into the bath…"

Piper sat on the bed absolutely mortified at being treated like a little girl. The same little girl who had to fit around her Mother's social life when she was growing up. God this was torture. She laid back on the bed, still wearing her dressing gown. Her phone buzzed, so she reached over to pick it up, hoping Polly was going to tell her she could visit tonight after work.

'Hey Pipes. How are you feeling? Are you enjoying that famous Chapman hospitality? Alex. X'

XXXXX

Alex had spent Friday night typing many different iterations of that first text. She didn't know exactly what to say and had decided to sleep on it because at 11pm she realised she was overthinking it. There was a cut off time for sending texts to people unless you were in a relationship with them….11pm is probably that cut off time. In the morning, she decided to keep it short and to the point, and see what came back. She pressed send and put the phone down on the kitchen table, looking for something to occupy her eyes and mind so she didn't count the seconds and minutes for a reply.

She didn't have to wait long before her phone buzzed and she jumped at the sound.

'Hi Alex. I'm feeling OK thanks. The Chapman Hospitality is entirely living up to my expectations so far ;-)'

No kiss at the end. But she did reply straight away, so not all bad. And there was a winky face…that's only a step away from a kiss isn't it? She quickly typed out a reply.

'You had expectations? ;-)' She decided to go with the winky face too, play it safe.

'I always have expectations. They don't always match those of my Mother tho.'

No emoji or kiss this time. What did that mean? Stop overthinking Alex, play it cool.

'Sounds like your Great Expectations might turn into a Catch-22 scenario and we certainly don't want you to end up in 100 Years of Solitude. Anything I can do to help?'

'Clever. I like that. Are you offering to be my BFG? ;-) '

Alex smiled because Piper was playing along.

'I might be…and you can't put the BFG in with those great masterpieces. It's too recent. What was that, 1984?!'

'That was George Orwell, not Roald Dahl ;-) Speaking of 1984, I found that iPod we went travelling with last week! Can you believe that?!'

'Yes. I brought it into the hospital for you. You don't remember me sitting with you?'

'You came to see me in the hospital?! When? I don't remember you being there?'

'I stayed all Saturday night, until Dolly pushed me out before your parents got there on Sunday. You didn't hear me talking to you all night then?'

'Nope. Don't remember a thing. Did I miss anything important?'

'I should have known I'd have to repeat myself. You never hear a word I say until the second time around. If I'm going to say it again, can I see you?'

Alex held her breath as there was a longer pause now before Piper was replying. It meant she was considering it at least.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: So Alex finally got Piper's number. It can only get better for them from here now, right? Hope everyone is having a good week so far :-)**

Piper looked at the text from Alex and knew what the answer needed to be. There was still doubt in her mind, but it didn't change her mind. It wasn't the answer she was thinking about, she knew that the moment Alex asked if she could see her. It was wording the reply that she was struggling with. Her instincts wanted to reply to say 'let's talk another time, when I'm better.' Her instincts were telling her to avoid a confrontation by text, avoid making a decision either way, to hide from this a while longer. Having Alex back in her life would throw everything up in the air that she had worked so hard to organise and put into a routine in the last 12 months. She couldn't help wonder whether that was because she was back home with her parents – was her WASP personality becoming more dominant here after only a couple of days?

It wasn't that she didn't want to see Alex, but the timing and circumstances were all wrong. She was confined to barracks with her parents out of necessity, rather than choice. They knew about the terrible Alex Vause who led their picture perfect daughter astray and she knew they would never let Alex past the front door, there wouldn't be an opportunity for discussion. In their eyes, Alex had coerced her into the two worst things that Piper could have done – lesbian activity and breaking the law. It was inconceivable that Piper might have chosen to do both of her own volition.

Since being released from Litchfield, she could care less about what they thought from a comfortable distance in New York. Being under their roof and in their care though, it was necessary to curb her attitude back to something more malleable for the sake of keeping the peace.

Feeling this sudden need to avoid something, brought back thoughts of Litchfield and the different personas she had developed there.

The 12 moths that Piper had spent in prison taught her a lot about herself, forcing to confront who she thought she was as a person and how that didn't match up with what she wanted to be, to do. There was no hiding from yourself in prison. There was a whole lot of time to think, to try things out. To try on a new personality for size. To try different personalities, different versions of herself to suit any given situation. This was a new concept for Piper to deal with. She had been one persona with her family – polite, accommodating, holding negative thoughts or words inside to present a pleasant and compliant young blonde girl. A girl that handed assignments in on time, studied regularly, never missed classes, could fake laugh at bad jokes, sit properly at a dinner table. That version of Piper was very useful in prison. Being able to maintain a calm exterior in the face of stressful or dangerous situations and keep her emotions in check was vital to her survival on occasions.

The time she had been with Alex, she had learned to blend into the background and not attract attention in certain circumstances. This was mostly orchestrated by Alex, who couldn't be distracted by Piper, who needed to appear unattached in order to gain the interest and attention of potential drug mules. There were often important meetings with prospective new contacts where her appearance and presence were helpful to provide nuance and distraction to groups of men, so that Alex could conclude a good deal. She learned a lot from Alex to either be invisible or a subtle distraction. These were also personas that she was able to use to gain advantages in prison.

The other thing keeping her from agreeing to see Alex, was her current condition. She was shocked that Alex had already seen her in the hospital, so Alex would have already seen the bandages and her swollen eye. At least he was asleep when that happened though. What she couldn't bear to see was the pity in Alex's eyes. Being seen as the wounded little lamb that Alex needed to take care of. That wasn't who she was now and she had a strength and determination that Alex wouldn't be familiar with. She had been able to turn those personas on and off at will in Litchfield, because everyone understood you had to do what was needed to survive. The truth was, she didn't know how any of those would stand up to the scrutiny of Alex, who had an unnerving ability to see through bullshit. She could break down her defence like nobody she had ever met and that made her vulnerable. Vulnerable to a person she had spent a torturous 4 years trying to run from and forget about. She didn't want to go back there and being close to Alex had every chance of undoing any progress.

No, she wouldn't revert to type and avoid this. She decided to call Alex. That was the best way to deal with this. She nervously pressed the call button before she could change her mind and listened to it ring a couple of times before Alex answered.

"Well, I wasn't expecting this." Alex sounded genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, I'm just full of surprises me." Piper chuckled a little at her own bottle surprising her to make the call. "You were waiting for me to puss out via text, right?"

"Well….When you didn't reply straight away, I figured you were choosing your words to puss out, yeah. Calling to do it is new, but better than a text and run. Unless you're calling to explain why The BFG should be a legitimate entry into the list of greatest novels of all time?" It was Alex's turn to laugh now and she was trying not to hang onto the 'can I see you?' question to just have a conversation with Piper.

"Well, anything written by Roald Dahl should be on that list for sure….But the inclusion of the words snozzcumber and whizzpopping do make that particular story a very worthy entrant."

Alex laughed loudly at Piper's recollection of the story and her semi-serious tone when discussing it as though it were a great Shakespearean story.

"Well, I'm not sure your parents would appreciate me peering through your bedroom window with a dream trumpet late at night… But the offer of help still stands. You must be bored stiff staying there aren't you?"

"Yes. A hundred times yes, but I have to be supervised 24 hours a day until the Doctor tells me otherwise. It sucks, but I guess it's a precaution because of my head injury….You erm, saw that I guess when you came to the hospital?"

"I did. It was doing your hairstyle no favours at all, you really ought to get a new stylist you know." Alex smiled, remembering how soundly Piper was sleeping and how she was able to get so close to her without any awkwardness between them.

Piper laughed. "Maybe you're right there. I was fully expecting Rolling Stone magazine to be begging me to do a cover by now. Alas, no missed calls so far…"

"So how are you feeling? Are you taking your meds?"

"Yep. I have a constant flow of Chapmans checking the pill count is going down several times a day. I'm feeling OK. Still getting painful headaches as the meds are due to top up, but that's all normal apparently. And my ribs are really sore still, which makes moving about or getting comfy difficult. The swelling on my eye is going down a bit now, so I can see a bit more out of it. It's a lovely bluey-purple colour at the moment. You should see!" Piper let the last bit slip out without meaning to.

"I'm glad you've got someone looking after you…and I'm sure you have an impressive palette on your eye now. Maybe you can send me a photo hey?"

"Yeah, maybe. It's not all that interesting to look at to be honest…"

"Look, I know you're calling to tell me you don't want to meet up with me just yet. That's OK. It's fine, honestly. I just wanted to make sure you're OK and tell you that I'm here if you need me to help with anything. Is there anything I can do?"

"Thanks Alex, but I've got my family running around me like I'm an invalid already. There really isn't any space for anyone else to lend a hand. I'm not very demanding you know…" Piper knew Alex would have raised her eyebrow at the end of the line at that and it was enough to make her laugh softly as she finished the sentence.

"Yeah, totally low maintenance you are." She laughed again before continuing. "Even if it's to put the trash out and check your place is OK, help Polly with the store…whatever. Just let me know."

"That's really nice of you Alex, thank you. Look, I have to go as I've been given a strict time slot to get a bath off my Mother before she goes to some social event, so I have to go. And yes, you did hear that right. This could be one of the most embarrassing days of my life yet…"

"Your Mother is going to bath you?! Well, there's an image I never thought I'd have in my head….OK. I'll speak to you later Pipes. Bye."

"Bye Alex."

Piper put the phone down, feeling pleased that she decided to call instead of text a lame excuse. Alex hadn't pushed her on anything and she'd cheered her up a little by taking her mind off being practically bed ridden. Her Mother came in a few minutes later to bring her back to Earth.

"Honestly Piper, are you still lounging there on your bed?! I told you I only have small window to help you get bathed today and you aren't exactly helping me here. You'd think the world revolves around you…." Her Mother waved her arms gesturing Piper to sit up so she could be helped to the bathroom. She was feeling hurried and knew this bath was going to be torture, but at least it was going to be over quickly at this rate.

XXXXX

Cal and Neri came over to visit on Sunday and Piper was sitting in the front room watching Miracle on 34th Street when they came to sit down. They talked a while about their plans to change the layout behind the cabin to make space for more water collection drums to they could start to trial some filtration systems they had heard about from friends. Piper was glad to talk about something other than how she was feeling and it was nice to have a normal conversation about something where Cal was so enthusiastic. Without their Mother there to pour scorn on their ideas, it felt a little like they were kids sharing a secret from their parents again. Neri was so good for Cal too. She shared his enthusiasm for being self-sufficient while being bossy enough to keep his focused on finishing things. He was such a dreamer, he got caught up in the ideas and forgot to complete anything before she came along. They were perfect together.

By 7pm, Piper was bored of watching TV and her Father was sorting out the garage in between calling in every hour to check if she needed anything. She called Polly, who was just getting home from the store.

"Hey Pol, how's it going?"

"Hi Piper. It's going good! We've been really busy this last week and next week is going to be the last minute Christmas shoppers, so we should do well out of this. How are you feeling P?"

"Fine, fine. Bored stiff and sick of being treated like an invalid, but fine. Can't you come down to see me one day next week? I'd really like to see a friendly face!" Piper pleaded, knowing it was going to be impossible, but she hoped all the same.

"Oh, don't do that. You know I can't. There's so much to be doing at the store that I just can't keep up. I haven't even filled in the order books since you went to hospital last week, I'm so behind. There are receipts everywhere!"

"Why don't you post them to me and I'll sort them out here?"

"I need to talk you through them and show you what's what. If only you were at home, I could call around after work….." Polly left the sentence hanging in the air.

"You know I've spoken to Alex don't you?" Piper was suspicious of Polly even suggesting she could come home.

"Yeah. I called her this morning to offer to give her your cell number and she said you already talked yesterday. It went OK then?"

"Yes, it was fine. Talking on the phone is not the same as seeing someone face to face though Polly. And it's certainly not the same as asking them to stay in your apartment all day. That would be weird."

"OK. So you're happy to stay home with your Mother bathing you like a baby for the rest of the year then? And, knowing how much you like your baths, that would be every day right? Oh, and at least you'll be catching up on all the Bridge Club gossip too, which I know you loooooove. Yeah, I can totally see why you wouldn't want to leave."

"Screw. You. If you'd come and see me for a few hours, it would make it more bearable…"

"Nope. You want to get some independence back and see me, you gotta come home. Alex already said she would look after you during the-"

"Polly! Fucks sake! Oh my God, did you ask Alex to look after me?! What are you, insane?!" Piper's eyebrows were on the ceiling now.

"Not exactly. I told her you couldn't come home without someone to be at home with you 24/7 and I couldn't cover the day shift. She said she could hang around during the day if it would help. No begging or even suggesting from me. She offered. But you're being an ass about it when you could have her at your beck and call, so more fool you for staying with Mummy dearest."

"Pol, you hate Alex. What the Hell happened?"

"She's been really good while you've been out of action. Helping with the store so I can nip out, ordering stock when I've been running low. We're not at second base or anything, but you know…"

"SECOND base?! You mean you got to FIRST already?!" Piper laughed. "Anyway, no. It's nice that she's helping you out, us out. But I'm staying here. Yes, it is Hell on earth, but I'm staying put."

"OK. Suit yourself then. I got to go, Pete's coming round in a bit and I need to shave my legs and make an effort or he'll think he stumbled into the ape enclosure at the zoo. Love you P. Bye!"

"Bye Pol!" She laughed as he put the phone down.

XXXXX

On Monday morning, Carol Chapman had met with her friends and had brunch before she came home to see Piper lounging in bed still. "Oh good, you're awake. I wanted to talk to you about something." She brought an iPad over to sit next to her daughter on the bed.

"I was talking to Juliette this morning and she was telling me that her son has split up from his long term girlfriend. He's a Lawyer you know and he lives and work in Boston. He has a lovely apartment overlooking the Common too, so he's doing very well for himself…."

Piper tuned out of the one way conversation as her Mother started typing in his company website address to show her his online biography, which showed a slightly podgy guy with curly brown hair and a love of cooking. She managed to nod in all the right places and then firmly say 'no' to a suggestion of him coming to visit this week. Her Mother was adamant that she should meet while Piper was close by and see if they have things in common, completely disregarding the fact that Piper was sporting a large bruise and was essentially bed-ridden.

When she finally left, Piper texted Polly.

'Please come and see me. I might be married to a middle-aged Lawyer with a love of hamsters and 70's disco music before New Year if you don't come and see me. Help a sister out here!'

'Nope.'

XXXXX

Steve came around on Tuesday morning and Piper was glad he'd started to get past the awkwardness a little now. He was allowed back to work full time and was glad to keep his brain occupied again. He sat on the sofa next to her and Piper leaned into him, putting her head onto his shoulder. She could feel him tense a little at first, but he soon relaxed and put him arm around her.

"I'll never forgive myself for not seeing the monster that Darryl was and I'll never forgive myself for bringing him into your life that night Pipes."

"Steve, really it's in the past now. You couldn't have known, so please don't let this eat at you. You were my knight in shining armour that night and they caught him thanks to you. Just….hold me a little while will you?"

Steve squeezed her shoulder to bring her into him more and kissed her head as they sat in comfortable silence. Piper enjoyed the warmth of Steve's chest, listening to his heart beating gently until her Father came in to ask Steve to give him a hand moving something in the garden.

It was lunch time when Steve left and Piper found an old jigsaw puzzle under the stairs to occupy her for the afternoon. It was a 1000 piece picture of kittens in a basket of wool, no doubt an unwanted gift my Grandmother had hidden there years ago. Piper prepared the coffee table to start sorting the edges.

After dinner, she returned to the jigsaw, putting the lamp on so she could see better. She was sifting through the pieces for anything with a roll of red wool on it when there was a knock at the door. Her Father was just cleaning up in the kitchen and came through drying his hands to answer it.

"Look whose here Piper! You have a visitor you might be pleased to see…" Her Dad called through to her as she sat with a handful of red jigsaw pieces.

"Hey stranger, surprise!" Polly beamed as she came into the front room.

Piper tried to jump up from the sofa to greet her with a hug, but Polly reached down to her first.

"Oh my God Pol! It's so good to see you! Did you come all this way after work?"

"I did. Just in the nick of time by the looks of it." She gestured towards the jigsaw with her eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, I was just getting into it actually. I'm close to starting on the cute kittens soon…"

Polly took Piper's hands in hers to get her attention. "Piper. Listen to me. We are going to pack your stuff and get you out of here. Tonight."

Piper looked at her, perplexed. "But I have to stay here so I have someone with me?"

"This is an intervention Piper. You are wearing bunny slippers and doing a kitty jigsaw. You've got Nat King Cole on repeat and your Mother is bathing you. It's time P. It's definitely time. Come on, I'll help you pack your things."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hey guys, good to see so much love for Polly coming through! Thanks for the reviews praising the rescue efforts - our heroine doesn't realise she needs rescuing sometimes ;-). Have some Vauseman banter for your patience. Nearly Friday folks, keep going!**

Piper packed her clothes into the cases she brought with her and Polly helped her back downstairs so she could go and talk to her Dad before they left.

"Daddy, Polly has managed to swap some things around at the store so she can take care of me at home now. I'd really like to get out of your hair and sleep in my own bed again." She paused to check her Dad's reaction, but she knew he'd feel better about her leaving if he knew Polly was going to be there with her.

"OK sweetheart. Is Polly sure she can manage everything OK though? Perhaps we can come up on the weekend?"

"Yeah, of course you're welcome. I just want to get back to my own routine and I can help Polly a little with the book keeping for the store from home too, so it gives me something to do. You don't mind?"

"Not at all sweetheart. I know how much you like your independence." He smiled and gave her a gentle hug.

Polly swiped the jigsaw pieces off the table back into the box, a look of disgust on her face as she put the lid on and put the box down, dusting her hands off.

"All set P? I'll take good care of her Mr Chapman, don't you worry about that. It will be great to have her back near by." Polly gave her best winning smile as she guided Piper out of the front door and down the steps. She was able to walk to the end of the drive, the wheelchair was already packed up in the car apparently.

"Where's your car Pol? Where did you park it? I can't walk too far you-"

"It's here P. This one." Polly lifted the boot to put the last of her bags in.

"An Audi Q7? When did you win the lottery and not tell me?"

"Hey Pipes, your getaway car awaits." Alex opened the passenger door and bowed, gesturing for Piper to get in.

"Alex! What are you doing here?! If my Dad sees you…"

"I stayed in the car didn't I? Come on, do you need a hand getting in?"

Piper climbed in and fastened her seatbelt as Polly got in the back. Alex started the car up and started to turn the car around. "I've never got further than the driveway in all the time I've known you Pipes. I'm worried I might explode if I go any further anyway." Alex winked at her.

"So while I like the feeling of fresh air and freedom like I just got sprung from prison (no pun intended), have you actually considered the practical implications of what we're doing here? You do remember that I have to have someone with me at all times and I need to give a change of circumstances form to the hospital. What's the grand plan here?"

"It's all under control Piper. I'm going to stay at your place when I finish work and SuperCunt is going to take over when I leave in the morning. That way, I can leave you with the store paperwork and you can make some calls from home during the day while I sell stuff and Alex gets to make sure you don't start any kitten jigsaws…"

"Kitten jigsaws?!" Alex raised an eyebrow at Piper.

Piper rolled her eyes.

XXXXX

Alex helped them get the cases out of the car and made her excuses to leave them to it and unpack while she went home to get some work done. If she was going to be away from the office during the day, she would need to sort a few things out to make sure she could run things from Piper's house at the end of the phone and email.

Polly helped her get into the apartment and sat her down on the sofa.

"Oooooooooh. I can't tell you how good this feels to be in my own home again." Piper closed her eyes and savoured the familiar smell of her own home. Polly had made sure the heating was on and it was warmed through for when they got back too.

"I've not had a chance to get any groceries I'm afraid, so we're eating take out tonight if that's OK?" Polly was closing blinds and moving the bags away so they could sit down for a bit.

"Fine with me. I don't care what I eat tonight. Thanks so much for doing this Pol, I really do appreciate it you now. I know you've got your hands full with the store, so whatever I can do to help from here, bring it on and I'll do anything I can. I'm less happy about spending all day with Alex in my apartment tomorrow, but hopefully I'll make a start on tidying up in here a bit…"

"P, don't overdo it OK. I'll update you on what's been happening at the store tonight and bring you the books tomorrow night so you can get rid of some of those receipts for me. Now, do you mind if I open a bottle of wine or do I have to abstain with you?"

"Nope, you go ahead. I'm drunk on freedom anyway. I feel weird about Alex being here with me all day. We could have murdered each other by the time you get back you know."

"Maybe, but it's either that or she'll be in your bed. Either way means I'm excused from being your personal carer beyond that point, so it's a win-win for me."

"Polly! I've told you, it's not that simple now."

They ate Chinese from Piper's local and Polly helped her get her case unpacked upstairs while she got ready for bed. The pain meds were still knocking her out, so it didn't take long for Piper to fall into a deep sleep.

XXXXX

Polly was up early for a shower in the morning. It hadn't been the comfiest sleep on the sofa, but at least there was no danger of her sleeping in. She got ready for work and called in to see Piper with a mug of coffee as she was getting ready to leave.

"Hey, I brought you this to bring you round a bit. Alex will be here any second and she can give you a hand to get ready and get some breakfast. OK?"

"Thanks Pol. OK, can you give me a hand down stairs then? I'll get dressed later. It's not like I'm going anywhere right?"

Piper was sat on the sofa with her coffee when Alex knocked on the door. Polly let her in and gave her a brief summary of what needed to be done, what meds were taken and what was due next as she closed the door behind her.

"Well good morning Ms Chapman. And how is the patient today?" Alex stood in the entrance to the room awkwardly, awaiting an invitation to come further inside.

"The patient is just fine since I'm sleeping in my own bed again. That was the best night I've had in a long time. I might have to seek out those pain meds on the black market once I get discharged…Are you planning on fulfilling your care duties from the doorway or would you like to come in and take your coat off?"

Alex began shrugging her leather jacket off to reveal a black long sleeved woollen turtle neck as she stepped a bit further into Piper's front room.

"It's not very big to justify a grand tour, but if you help me up a bit I will show you around – in case you are prone to getting lost in shoe boxes."

Putting her coat on the hook by the door, Alex stepped over to offer her arm for support. Piper reached up and held onto her arm as she pulled herself up to stand. She could feel the muscles in Alex's arm flex as she braced her arm and she avoided Alex's eyes as they were so close now.

"Thanks. As you can see this is the lounge. TV remote is normally stuck down the side of the sofa if you want to watch TV while you're here. Wifi codes are here to get online and the house phone is here if you need it. Then we have the kitchen here…" Piper walked her over to the breakfast bar separating the two rooms. "The fridge is pretty empty right now as I need to get some food in…."Piper opened the fridge door and found that there was some funny coloured mush growing, so quickly closed it again. "I'm sure you recognise the Nespresso machine and remember how to use it so…." Piper trailed off as she hadn't meant to bring up the reminder of their past life.

"Nice to see you still have excellent taste Pipes." Alex winked and smiled and she continued to look around the kitchen.

"Well, I lived with a coffee snob for 4 years, so it kinda rubs off you know." Piper smiled, sensing Alex didn't feel any discomfort at her mentioning their time together.

"Washer and dryer are here, but I can sort that out. I'm not expecting you to be doing my dirty laundry Alex, don't worry."

"Well that's disappointing. I was looking forward to getting my hands on your lacy underwear."

Piper's head snapped to look at Alex, but she was already walking towards the cupboards to open them. "Mmm, not much in here either. I think the groceries are our number 1 job today then. Ready for the next room, tour guide." She gestured towards Piper to lead the way.

They rounded the corner through a doorway to a narrow corridor. "Bathroom is in here. The water stays hot for longer than you'd expect in an old place like this, but the pressure isn't great."

"Well, thanks for the offer. But I wasn't expecting to be taking showers while I was here, so I'm guessing that the pressure won't bother me too much. Unless I need to get in with you patient Chapman?" Alex raised her eyebrow at Piper.

"No. That won't be necessary." Piper could feel herself starting to blush furiously and pushed past Alex to get out of the bathroom. Alex chuckled loud enough for Piper to hear as she walked towards the last room.

"This is my room. It's not very big, but it's enough for me." Piper could feel Alex standing closely behind her, peering over her shoulder into the room. She shifted to the side to let Alex in as it felt like she might be wanting to get past. But Alex stayed put, her eyes roaming around the room and over the white linen that covered Piper's bed. It hadn't been made since she got up this morning and suddenly the blonde haired woman was feeling a little self-conscious that it was a mess. It wasn't like she had been expecting guests and had a chance to tidy up before Alex arrived.

"It's nice Pipes. I like it."

Piper was waiting for further comment, but she turned to Alex and found she was smiling back at her.

"Right, well that's everything. No getting lost now."

"Nope, I'm fully inducted. Unless you had a fire escape plan you wanted to take me though…? No? OK, well I guess it's time to order some groceries. Have you got a laptop set up and we'll order online since you're not ready for going out and I'm not allowed to leave you? I'm not sure I want to tackle that Ryvita until I'm absolutely desperate."

"Yes I have a laptop and no, there isn't a fire escape plan. I would like to see your qualifications certificates before I take you into my employment though. Have you got them with you? I do have several interested candidates for this position you know…" Piper picked up her laptop and put it onto the breakfast bar to boot up.

"You're asking if I'm qualified to look after you? OK. I carried you back to our hotel in Hawaii when you cut your foot on that shell, then bandaged it up for you, and made you a virgin mojito while we waited for the Dr to visit to give you a shot. I held your hair out of your face and rubbed your back when you got drunk on Ouzo that time in Greece and were throwing up in the gutter, then paid the taxi driver 10 times more than the fare so he would agree to take you, then kept you warm while you were shivering and hungover….You want more medical examples or do you want me to remind of the other ways I know how to take care of you?" Alex raised her eyebrow, daring Piper to ask for more examples.

"You were keeping me warm well after the shivering stopped I seem to remember. I'm not sure you can count that as a medical example… However, I'll note them for consideration alongside the other applicants." Piper smirked as she logged in.

They ordered groceries for delivery later that afternoon and Alex helped to tidy the apartment up a bit. Piper's phone buzzed with a text and she looked to see I was from Nicky.

'Hey Blondie. How's the head? I heard you took a wallop there, so hope you're doing OK. You killed my friend Sasquatch over there yet?' Piper smiled as she read the text, seeing that Nicky knew Alex was here with her today. Alex saw hr smiling and wondered if it might be from Steve.

'Hey Nicky Nicholls. I'm OK thanks. No murders so far, but I'm going to make sure it's death by chores obviously ;-)'

'I knew there was a reason I liked you Piper Partner of Polly ' Piper chuckled to herself and closed her phone down.

She checked her laptop for the Victim Support Unit number online to call them and let them know she was staying at home now for their visit to be scheduled. Then she filled in the forms for the hospital to let them know she was being cared for by Alex and Polly at home now and was about to press send when Alex peered over her shoulder.

"I got the job then?"

"Er, yes. Looks like you were better qualified than the other candidates after all."

"Yes! Can we talk terms now as I'd like to negotiate my contract?"

"Easy there Ms Vause. You need to pass your probation period first."

"Probation period? "

"Yup. I need to check you can deliver on your promises. You can't expect to get a full benefits package without one, surely?" Piper raised her eyebrows to Alex.

The brunette stepped closer to her and smiled "I can certainly deliver on promises, especially when there is a FULL benefits package waiting for me." The full Alex Vause smirk was on show now and Piper's stomach flipped in a way that only Alex was capable of doing to her. Fuuuck, how did she do that?

Determined not to be put on the back foot Piper leaned in and whispered into Alex's ear "Show, don't tell."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Vauseman edging closer... I *might* treat you to a double chapter upload this weekend. Hope you enjoy this one folks and thanks for the Reviewers - you are awesome and dedicated and I thank you all for it :-)**

Alex wanted to get to the showing, but she was still very unsure about Piper's state of mind. Polly had told her that Piper was adamant she couldn't go and see her in the hospital, but was that because she didn't want a confrontation with her parents? Or was it because she actually didn't want to see her for other reasons? It was all too easy for her to slip into flirting with Piper and it was kind of like when they first met, with banter full of innuendo and teasing. But Alex was conscious of all that remained unsaid between them and the fact that Piper was only just out of hospital after being raped. Thinking about that again made her stomach turn and she quickly regained composure to get on with the job she was supposed to be here for, to help Piper get her independence back. This wasn't about Alex trying to get back in Piper's good books, it was about caring for someone deeply who had gone through a horrendous ordeal only recently and she had to keep her mind on that.

"Well how about I show you I can make a mean omelette for dinner now that the grocery guy is at the door?" She walked to the door to open it and let the delivery guy in to drop off the bags on the kitchen counter. Piper made her way to the breakfast bar stools while he brought the last bags in and began unpacking them.

"Shouldn't you be sitting on the couch and letting me do this?"

"I'm not completely useless Alex, I can put a few groceries away. I might need you to reach up for the higher cupboards but at least I'll know everything is in the right place when I come to look for it if I put it away. Otherwise I'll be sitting there pointing to cupboards while you raise each item to ask where it goes. You get on with that omelette you promised me and I'll get these cleared away. The pans are in that drawer over there."

Piper cleared out the fridge fungus first and made the fridge sparkle before putting anything in it. There was a strange sense of achievement in doing a job that never seems to get done all year and actually being able to do something herself again without being wrapped in cotton wool made her feel a bit more human. Alex served up a couple of delicious Spanish omelettes with some coffee and they sat in comfortable silence eating at the breakfast bar. Piper took her pain meds with her food and the growing headache was kept at bay again.

"I can clear these up Alex, I can hear your phone beeping with messages. You must have a few things to sort for work, so I can do these while you catch up with the office if you like."

"Yeah, I won't be long. Just need to make sure Nicky hasn't made me bankrupt already." Alex smiled and went to read the messages on her phone. She called into the office and sorted a few questions out before opening her laptop to send some mails. Piper cleaned the dishes, then cleaned all the counters and cupboard doors. It was kind of therapeutic to do something physical where she could pace herself and do as much or as little as she wanted.

Polly came in just after 6 with a couple of bags of groceries under her arms.

"Hey Pol. Ah, you bought groceries…we kinda got a few things in today already. The cupboards were pretty bare, so we got a delivery earlier. Can never have too much when I have nothing else to do all day than eat though, right?"

"Well, these bags are mostly wine for me to be honest. It's been full on at the store today and we're all out of the small gift sets. I brought some of the boxes back if you could make some more up tonight maybe?"

"Yeah, of course! It'll give me something to do."

"Erm, you've done a lot already today Piper. Don't overdo it tonight will you? She has cleaned the kitchen this afternoon Polly and although she told me she felt just fine, I noticed her wincing when she was reaching the top cupboards." Alex raised her eyebrow at Piper to let her know she had her eye on her.

"It's nothing. It's been good to do something other than sit down all day."

"Alright. Well, I'll get going and see you tomorrow then. Same time in the morning OK Polly?"

"Yep, fine with me. Is there any chance you could stay a little later tomorrow night though? I need to take Pete shopping to drop some very heavy hints about what I want for Christmas, just to make sure I don't get a crap present off him. I know he hasn't got anything yet and I'm not having any of the sorry looking leftovers in some last minute trolley dash."

Alex chuckled. "Yeah, no worries. I don't have any plans, so take your time in the expensive stores. See you in the morning." She put her coat on and picked up her bag, closing the door behind her as she left.

"Well? Were you cleaning blood off the kitchen worktops earlier?"

"No. It was OK. It was fine actually. She didn't give me any shit about the attack, like I expected. Didn't even mention it in fact. I was expecting her to make me sit on the sofa all day like an invalid, but she let me help in the kitchen and she wasn't overbearing."

"And?" Polly crossed her arms as she stood in front of Piper, raising her eyebrows like she was waiting for an answer.

"And what? We didn't have sex or kill each other if that's what you're asking."

"I'm waiting for you to admit I was right and you were wrong. That Alex doesn't want to control you, she just wanted to help you because she cares. Are you going to admit that now?"

"It's been one day Polly. Alex knows how to play a long game better than anyone I know. Don't think she can't turn on the charm far a day or more at will. So I'm not admitting anything right now." Piper folded her arms to indicate the conversation was over and Polly went back to the car to pick up the other things from the store.

Polly made a pasta for dinner while Piper sat on the floor in the lounge making the gift boxes up. It felt good to be contributing something to the store to help Polly out for the first time in over a week. They ate at the breakfast bar, with Piper looking at Polly's glass of wine with obvious envy and Polly brought her up to date on what has been happening at the store. They washed up together and Polly poured another glass of wine.

"Hey Pol, can you give me a hand getting into the bath if I run the water now? Just need you to help me get in and sit down, then you can go finish your wine or call Pete, whatever."

"Yep, just give me a shout when you're ready."

Piper went to run the water and get ready. She was starting to feel the ache of being a bit more mobile at home than she had been for the last week and thought a long, hot soak in the bath might ease her muscles a little before bed. She called Polly to help her into the bath and settled down into the suds from one of PoPis' scented bath foams from the Christmas range. The warming smell of the cinnamon and pepper scent causing her to inhale deeply and relax, closing her eyes for a while in the quiet.

It was 40 mins later when Polly came in and woke her up. "Come on sleepy head, I don't think I'm supposed to let you fall asleep in deep water while I'm looking after you. Looks like cleaning the kitchen wiped you out today, so you should sleep well tonight. Let's get you out of there so you can dry off before bed." She pulled her up out of the luke warm water and handed Piper a towel to dry off, before heading out to lock up and turn all the lights out. Polly was also tired from the wine and the long shifts, so was happy for an early night.

XXXXX

After sleeping soundly through the night, Piper got up early and was dressed by the time Polly came out of the bathroom. She made them both a coffee and some toasted bagels while Polly was putting the gift boxes into the car and they were sat eating breakfast when Alex knocked on the door. Polly went to open it and let her in, leaving Alex to hang her coat up before walking over to the kitchen.

"Good Morning. You're up and already having breakfast hey?"

"Yup. Slept sooo well last night too. You want a coffee? You look like you haven't had one yet…"

"Yes please. No, I didn't sleep quite as well either as a damned European shipping company had me on the phone 'til past midnight. All sorted now though, so what's the plan for today?"

"What time is your appointment at the hospital Piper? Alex, can you take her to see the Doctor for a check-up?"

"Um, 11am I think. I won't be in long. He just wants to check my meds are right and see how things are healing I guess. You can wait in the car in fact Alex, I'll not be gone long."

"Sure, we can set off at about 10:15 and no, I will come in with you. You're not used to walking on your own, so you either sit in a chair and have a nurse take you in or I help you walk it." Alex took her coffee from Piper and warmed her hands around the mug. It was freezing outside today and the wind was biting.

"OK. Whatever. I'm going to brush my teeth and do something presentable with my hair if I'm making a rare public appearance today. Can you guys play nice without me?" She didn't even look back to see the reaction on their faces, but she knew eyebrows would have moved position on both faces.

"Can you make sure the Doctor knows she is still in pain between her meds? I think she'll tell him everything's fine just to stop this 24 hour being looked after thing. She fell asleep in the bath last night too, so that could be a sign she was doing too much or it could be the meds, I'm not sure. Worth you knowing in case she does need to switch meds."

"Alright, will do. Enjoy your shopping trip and don't worry about getting back early. I think she'll be in bed early by the sounds of it and I've got work I can be doing to catch up so it doesn't matter if I'm here or at home in fact."

"Great, I'll let you know when we're done." Polly shouted her goodbye to Piper as she headed out of the door to work and left them to it.

Alex insisted on an extra coat and scarf for Piper before she helped her outside and into the car. Piper didn't have much meat on her bones to protect her from the cold anyway, but she also wasn't used to being outside in the winter air now.

"So, how are you feeling?"

"Aren't I supposed to wait until I see the Doctor to start answering that question?"

"Well, consider this a practice run. How are you?"

"I'm OK. Honestly, I'm feeling better each day. You don't need to wrap me in cotton wool you know. I was tired after yesterday, but that's not a bad thing. It tires my mind as well as my body being active like that, so I was glad of it."

"And the pain? Are you getting the headaches between meds?"

"A little, but it's nothing serious."

"OK. Well don't do too much."

They rode in silence as Piper watched the traffic and people going about their business through the passenger window. As they were sat in traffic, she saw a family coming out of a store with lots of bags. They were all laughing and the children were smiling from ear to ear as their Mother unwrapped a couple of big red candy canes for them.

"You know, I keep forgetting its Christmas. My parents had a big tree up and I was watching Christmas films when I was there, but being back home and stuck in the apartment all day I kinda forget this is happening until Polly tells me how busy the store has been. She was still staring out of the window as she spoke.

They pulled into the hospital car park and Alex found a space quite close to the doors. She went around to help Piper out of the car and took her arm as they walked through the front doors and through to the outpatients department. Piper have her name at the front desk and they took a seat while they waited for her to be called through. It wasn't long before Dr Shetty came to greet her and take her to his consultation room.

"Hello Ms Chapman, it's nice to see you up and walking about now. Is your friend going to help you to my office?" He smiled at them both and showed them the way.

"Yes, this is Alex. Is it Ok if she sits in with me?"

"Of course. You can sit just here Alex and if you can just sit over on this examination bed for a moment Ms Chapman." Alex helped Piper to the examination bed and stood back to let the Doctor stand next to Piper.

"I'd like to see how these ribs are doing, so can you just lift your top up for me please?" Piper lifted her shirt up to just below her bra and Alex saw the purple bruising all along the left side of her ribs for the first time.

Doctor Shetty felt along each rib and Piper winced as he progressed. "Sorry Ms Chapman, just checking how well they are healing since we took the split off. The bruising is clearing up nicely now…"

Alex was shocked that this was an improvement to how they had been previously and she felt her fists clenching by her side as she thought of the man who did this to Piper.

The Doctor checked the bruising around her throat and was pleased that this was almost gone now. Her eye was still a little swollen, but the worst of the bruising was gone. He checked the stitches in the side of her head and was pleased with the way the wound was healing up.

"You can pull your shirt back down now Ms Chapman, thank you. I'm pleased with the way your body is healing. You'll see those bruises get better each day now and your ribs will take time to recover fully, but you'll get more mobile as time goes on." He walked over to his desk and gestured for Piper to take a seat in front of his desk now, so Alex helped her up.

"How is your head doing? Have you been taking your medication?"

"It's OK. I'm getting headaches as another dose is due, but I guess that's normal-"

"And she fell asleep in the bath last night. So maybe they are making her drowsy too?" Alex cut in quickly. Piper glared at her "It's only because I was up and more active yesterday than I've been in a while."

"No, your friend is right to mention that. We can change your meds to something less drowsy, especially if you are wanting to get more independence back and you're comfortable with that. There's a drug that will also last a little longer to stop those headaches between doses as well so I'll switch you on to that today…..How are you feeling about the attack though Ms Chapman? I can treat your physical symptoms, but have you considered counselling yet? That was a very traumatic attack you endured and the mental effects are not always apparent straight away. It can help to talk about it with someone. Maybe your friend here if you don't want to see a professional just yet?"

Piper was quick to dismiss the idea in front of Alex. "I'm fine, really. I have a meeting with someone from the Victim Support Unit coming up. I emailed them yesterday to arrange an appointment for them to visit me at home, so I'm sure they will help. Thanks for the suggestion though."

"OK. Let me sort out this prescription for you and we'll get you some new tablets to take away. Start those today and I want the home care to continue for the moment, until we see further improvement. Come and see me again after Christmas and we can see about signing you off. Have a Merry Christmas Ms Chapman and you Alex." He smiled warmly and shook their hands as he gave them the tablets and bid them goodbye.

Alex helped her back to the car and the pair didn't speak for a while. As they drove out of the car park, Alex asked if she fancied getting some lunch at a little café that was on their way back. Excited at the prospect of seeing other people and doing something normal, she grinned and accepted the offer gladly. They parked up and sat in a booth by the window, looking through the little menus. They ordered coffees and a couple of salads from the waitress and put the menus away.

"Pipes, if you want to talk and tell me what happened that night, you can you know? Have you actually spoken to anyone about what happened?" Alex knew it would be a touchy subject, but felt it needed to be brought up.

"I spoke to the police about it, so it's all in my statement." She tried to look Alex in the eyes as she spoke, but looked down as she finished the sentence.

"It's not the same, giving a statement and talking to someone about what happened. It's not about listing facts and descriptions, it's about telling someone what you need to tell them. What YOU need to tell them. Do you remember what happened?"

"Yes, I remember. I remember almost everything, until I blacked out anyway…."

Their coffees arrived and they sat quietly until the waitress left them.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Not really. "

"Would you rather speak to Polly?"

"I would rather enjoy a rare taste of freedom and this delicious coffee without remembering what that sick bastard did to me for one fucking hour Alex. Don't you think I relive that night over in my head every day, every night when I'm trying to sleep? Thinking if I could have done things differently, could I have prevented all of this?" Piper looked at Alex, unwavering as she spoke. Her voice was breaking a little and Alex was conscious that pushing her would not be a good idea right now. Making Piper feel worse by crying in the café wasn't the best way to deal with this. So she accepted it.

"Alright. I understand that. I'm sorry for bringing it up." She reached across and took Piper's hands in hers. "I'm sorry OK? I didn't mean to upset you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you do want to talk about it. I think you need to talk about it, but maybe you're not ready yet. I won't push you. I'm sorry." Alex squeezed Piper's hands again before letting go as their salads arrived.

They got back into the car after lunch and were headed towards the apartment when Alex took a different turn at the lights. Piper looked at her and was about to tell her she was going the wrong way when Alex cut her off.

"We just need to make a quick stop before heading back OK? We won't be long, but you'll need to keep your coat and hat on." She weaved through a couple of turns, before pulling up in a corner lot.

Alex got out and came around to help Piper out, who was peering out of the window to see where they had stopped, before her mouth fell open and her eyes went wide.

"Are we getting a Christmas tree?!"

"Yep, I can't have you forgetting your favourite holiday of the year. So we'd better get a big green reminder for your lounge I think. Are you gonna come and choose one or sit there with your mouth open?" Alex laughed and held her arm out.

Piper walked around the lot with her eyes sparking and Alex couldn't hide her own smile as she saw how happy Piper was to be looking for a tree. They hadn't ever done this when they were together as they were either living separately when they first got together or they were travelling and weren't in one place long enough for a tree. She felt a pang of regret that she hadn't been able to do this with Piper before and now they were doing it, they weren't even a couple.

They chose a bushy green Norwegian Spruce, about 5 ft tall and had the guy at the cash desk wrap it and put it on the Audi's roof. "Do we need fairly lights and decorations for this or do you have those at home?"

"Already got them, just needed the tree!" Piper beamed as they paid the guy for lashing the tree on the roof. Alex chucked and went to open the door for Piper to get into the car. Piper touched her arm and stopped her, making Alex look up and wonder what was wrong.

"Thank you Alex. I wasn't sure how it could work with us after all this time. I was afraid we'd end up fighting and hurting each other and I didn't want to need to rely on you when I came out of hospital. You've been so good to me and I really appreciate what you've been doing to help me and Polly at the store too….So, thanks." She leaned in and kissed Alex on the cheek softly before pulling back, her arms still holding onto Alex.

The feeling of Piper's lips on her cheek sent a charge through Alex and she could feel the skin tingle where they had been, aching for the touch to last a little longer. She could see the heat of Piper's breath in the air between them and it was like she wanted to breath in the air that Piper was exhaling. Alex reached up to Piper's face and moved her thumb across her cheek slowly. "You're welcome Pipes." Alex smiled and forced herself to break the contact and open the car door before she pushed things, gesturing Piper to climb in. She closed the door and turned to walk to the driver's side, stopping briefly to close her eyes and calm her beating heart to compose herself for the ride home.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: 100% Vauseman bonus chapter :-)**

Alex helped Piper up the steps to her apartment before carrying the tree inside and leaning it against the wall. They took off their hats and coats as Piper tried to remember where she had packed the decorations away. There wasn't a whole lot of them since she'd been on her own and spent Christmas day with her family recently anyway. Alex followed her into her bedroom to help carry the box and she reluctantly agreed to Piper playing Christmas songs on MTV in the background as they set to work unwrapping the tree to set it up in the corner of the lounger.

They stood the tree up and watered it before adding the baubles and fairly lights from Piper's decorations box. There was only a broken star in the box for the top of the tree, but it was better than nothing at the moment. Alex reached up to add the star and Pier clapped her hands together as she switched the lights on.

"Yay! Mmmm it even smells more Christmassy in here now. I love the smell of a real tree and it looks so lovely with all the twinkly lights…" Piper was grinning now and watching the lights sparkle as she sat back on the sofa.

"Good. We just have to remember to keep it watered now. That can be your job to remind me I guess. I'm not sure you're supposed to be crawling around with a watering can just yet…..Oh God, this has to be like the seventh time they played this Mariah Carey track today! You'd think there weren't any other Christmas songs so play…"

"Oh Alex, I love this song though! It's so happy and all about people in love being together at Christmas…"

"Yeah, well I don't have a sick bucket handy. So maybe change the channel and put a film on or something? What do you fancy for dinner?" Alex walked towards the cupboards to see what ingredients they had in.

"There's some steaks in the fridge if you want to do those with some peppercorn sauce?" Piper was flicking through the TV channels to change the music station. There was a 90's rock channel that she thought Alex would prefer, so she left that on.

Alex made them the steaks with some sweet potato fries on the side and some peppercorn sauce and she opened a bottle of red wine to drink with it. Piper drank water and took her new tablets with the meal before they washed up together.

They settled down in front of the TV and Alex topped up her wine as Piper searched through the movies that were playing. Piper sat at one side of the sofa and Alex sat at the opposite side, quickly checking her emails as Piper talked through what was playing. They settled on The Lost Boys as Piper conceded to Alex insisting there had been quite enough Christmassy stuff happening today.

The movie started and they were watching the scene in the comic store when Piper noticed Alex rolling her head from side to side and rubbing her shoulder.

"Are you OK? Have you knotted your shoulder muscles lifting that tree?"

"I'm fine, just need to work it loose I think. Just a bit stiff."

"Come sit here and I'll see if I can help."

"It's OK, I'll work it loose."

"Alex, come sit in front of me on the floor and I can see if I can free it up a bit while we watch the movie."

Alex stood and knelt in front of Piper as Piper opened her legs a little for Alex to sit between them. She turned around and leaned her back against the sofa between Piper's legs.

"OK. Where abouts is it hurting?" Piper gathered her long brunette hair, brushing her neck gently as she swept it to the side and over her shoulder.

"Just here really, I think there's a knot around there." Alex felt the back of her neck, showing Piper where to work.

Piper put both of her hands on Alex's shoulders and moved her fingers and thumbs together to warm up the muscles in both shoulders before digging in a little deeper to work the muscles around the knots. She felt Alex start to relax beneath her touch as she leaned back into her legs a little more. Although she winced a little when Piper was working the knot, she could feel it dissipating and moaned a little as Piper worked her magic.

"You enjoying that Al?"

"Mmmmm, so, sooo good. Don't stop." Her head dropped to the side a little, revealing the pale skin all along her neck and Piper swallowed hard at the thought of leaning down to kiss along the length of that neck and down to Alex's collarbone. Instead, she moved her hand from Alex's shoulder and put the back of her fingers at her jawline, slowly trailing them softly down her neck. She could feel her fingers trembling slightly at the sheer pleasure of feeling Alex's warm skin against her own. The electricity between them was almost audible as Piper could sense her own heart beating that much faster at the touch. As she reached Alex's collarbone slightly beneath her white shirt, she turned to use the tips of her fingers to run along the collarbone to her shoulder and slowly moved her fingers to brush her skin all the way back across to the base of her throat.

As Piper moved her fingers so softly along her neck and pushed them slightly beneath her shirt, Alex's breath hitched. She daren't open her eyes for fear of the feeling stopping and her skin was on fire everywhere that Piper had moved her soft fingers. It was as though her skin was mapping every cell that Piper was caressing softly. And Alex was pretty sure that this was a caress and not part of the massage to relieve the tension in her shoulder anymore. As she felt Piper's fingers move back over her collarbone and towards the base of her throat, she was sure that Piper would be able to see her pulse beating fiercely from her neck as she gently moved her fingertips up and over her voice box.

Piper wasn't sure if Alex could sense her fingers were trembling as she touched her skin, or if she realised that her breathing was shallow and uneven as she focused on the feeling of Alex's skin beneath her fingers. She continued her path to Alex's chin, where she gently lifted her jaw with her thumb, causing Alex to open her eyes and look at her for the first time.

They looked into each other's eyes for a long time and Alex lifted her hand to hold Piper's fingers against her cheek as they maintained eye contact.

Piper leaned down and tucked Alex's hair behind her ear before stroking her other cheek with the hand that Alex wasn't holding.

"I've missed you Alex… If only you knew how much."

Alex turned her face to kiss Piper's hand as it rested against her cheek.

"Then tell me." Alex whispered, not wanting to break the spell. They looked at each other for a long time, searching for something in each other's eyes.

Piper took her hands away from Alex and leaned back into the sofa. Alex was kicking herself for saying the wrong thing. It was impossible to judge what to say when she was treading on eggshells.

"You're gonna have to come back onto the sofa. My ribs are screaming from leaning over like that." She chuckled as she saw Alex relax and smile back at her. Alex got up and topped her wine up a little. "Can I get you anything to drink while I'm up? Maybe a snack or something? I think I saw a pack of popcorn earlier. Shall I put that in the microwave?"

"Yeah popcorn would be good and some fresh water please, since you're going to tease me with that bottle of wine. I hope you're going to finish it now you started it."

Alex was thinking exactly the same thing, but it had nothing to do with the wine.

Polly sent a text through to Alex as she waited for the popcorn in the microwave.

'Not even out of the door to get to the shops yet, sorry. Are you still good to stay later tonight?'

'Yes, we're just chilling in front of the TV. To be honest I'm a good way down a bottle of your red wine, so I'm not good for driving anyway at this point. If you want to stay over at Pete's I can just stay here on the sofa if you want a night off?'

The popcorn pinged and she poured it into a large bowl before bringing it over to Piper with the water. She put it down in the cushion between them and was about to sit on the end of the sofa again when Piper picked up the bowl and patted the cushion next to her.

"Come sit here and you can monitor my popcorn intake."

Alex moved to sit next to her when her phone buzzed with a reply from Polly.

'God, that would be awesome if you don't mind?'

'Nope, but you will owe me big time for giving you an opportunity to get laid obviously ;-)'

'Deal. Thanks.'

"Since I have to finish this bottle of wine, I've given Polly the night off for Pete time and I'll stay here on the sofa. You OK with that?"

"I am fine with that. Very generous of you to be thinking about Polly's sex life. Who knew you cared so much about a libido other than your own?" Piper smirked at her.

"Hey, I'd dig you in the ribs for that but I guess that could get me fired. Look, they're on the bridge now, I like this bit." Alex took a handful of popcorn and lay back against the sofa. Piper laughed and rested her hand on Alex's thigh as they sat together to watch the movie.

Alex put her arm over the back of the sofa to lean towards Piper a little more and held her glass of wine with the other on her lap. She was stealing glances at Piper as she watched the movie, seeing the reflections of the screen in her eyes.

When the credit started to roll, Piper put the part-eaten bowl of popcorn on the floor and stretched her legs out in front of her.

"Hey Al, if Polly isn't coming back tonight, do you think you could help me get a bath? I should really do it now before it gets too late and I can watch another film in my PJs. I just need you to help me in really…"

"Sure. Do you want me to run it for you while you get ready?"

"Yes please, if you don't mind?"

"I'll start it now."

They got up and Piper went to her room to get undressed while Alex turned on the taps and found some bath foam. When Piper came back to the bathroom, Alex had filled the bath with hot water and bubbles and lit tea lights all around the room. She had set her iPhone down and put a relaxing playlist on speaker in the corner of the room. As she heard Piper pushing the door open, she stood up and held her hand out.

"Ready Ms Chapman?"

"Oh Al, this is lovely. Thank you."

Piper walked further into the bathroom and stood by the bath, wearing only her robe. Her hair was tied up in a loose bun and she faced away from Alex as she untied the robe and let it slide slowly from her shoulders and down her back. It fell past her hips and revealed her toned butt cheeks as it slid past her thighs and the robe pooled at her feet now.

Alex's mouth was dry as she saw Piper's naked body for the first time after she left her in Paris all those years ago. She was in fantastic shape, maybe better than ever from a muscle tone perspective. There was some evidence of her bruised ribs on her back, but her skin looked so smooth and firm that it took an awful lot of willpower for Alex to maintain enough distance to not press her own body up against her.

Piper turned her head and held her hand out for Alex to support her as she climbed in. Alex averted her eyes as Piper turned around, feeling more than a little self-conscious that was staring at the naked body of her ex-girlfriend and it was beyond weird. Piper held onto her until she was sat in the bath fully before letting go of her hand.

"OK. Right. Well, I'll be outside if you need anything so, just shout." The brunette turned to leave before Piper stopped her.

"Al?"

"Yeah?" Alex turned to look at her for the first time since she got naked in front of her.

"Why don't you get your wine and keep me company a while?" Piper sank back into the suds.

"Um, OK. I thought you might want to relax a while though."

"I've done nothing but relax for the last 10 days, believe me it won't be any hardship."

Alex went into the lounge to get her wine, stopping to try and make sense of everything for a second. Piper didn't seem to be uncomfortable by Alex being here at all now. In fact, she seemed more relaxed about it than Alex was now. She needed to just chill and stop over analysing everything. Trying to second guess Piper normally resulted in her being wrong anyway, so there was no point. She should just go with the flow.

Piper was lying back and soaping up a sponge to wash her arms when Alex came back in.

"You sure I'm not interrupting your mojo here?"

"Nope. Mojo is just fine"

"OK…."

There was a silence that Alex felt she had to fill for the sake of feeling awkward. She was basically invited here to watch her hot ex-girlfriend bathe right in front of her and it was pure awkward torture quite frankly. Piper was completely naked beneath those bubbles and they'd had a LOT of hot sex in baths just like this, with the candles and the music. Alex wasn't used to being sat on the lid of the toilet fully clothed in these circumstances and she felt like she was pressed against the glass of a very enticing scene indeed.

"So….um…the Doctor said you're healing well. So that's good isn't it?"

"Yeah, I'm feeling better everyday."

"And your bruises are starting to fade a bit… I mean that's what the Doctor was saying wasn't he. I don't know if they are."

"You weren't looking when I took my robe off earlier?"

"What? No!" Alex tried to protest by Piper saw straight through it.

"Alex Vause I'm terribly disappointed. You are one of the best liars I ever met and you have NEVER passed an opportunity to ogle my naked body. So either you got really bad at lying or you gave up your lesbian gold star and turned to dick when we broke up. Now which is it?" Piper wasn't even looking at her as she spoke as Alex was sitting behind her on the toilet seat. Alex inwardly cringed at the fact she had even attempted to deny it.

"OK, maybe I did glance a little."

"Only a little? Did you like what you saw?" Piper's tone was more than a little flirty and Alex was struggling to control her libido at this point.

"Yes…I liked it very much." Alex moved towards the bath and knelt down so she was right behind Piper now. "Too much… Too much for me to keep sitting in this room and watching you run your hands over that silky smooth skin." She whispered to the back of Piper's neck. She saw goosebumps rise on her skin as Alex's breath hit her neck as she spoke. Alex blew lightly across Piper's damp skin, raising the bumps yet further.

She leaned closer still, next to Piper's ear now. "I was watching from the moment you let that robe start to fall away from that long kissable neck right here….. I saw your beautifully toned back revealed to me inch by delicious inch as you lowered the robe…I think you were doing it deliberately…." She leaned forward and kissed Piper's neck so softly that Piper wasn't sure if it was real. Piper's breath hitched and Alex heard it. She kissed her again, lower.

"I saw you tease me by letting the material hug your ass cheeks as you lowered the material past them…My mouth went dry as I watched that robe drop to the floor and have you standing in front of me so tantalisingly naked…" She pressed her lips to the shell of Piper's ear now as she breathed the last words slowly. "And right now…all I can think about is how that skin would feel beneath my fingers…."

Piper closed her eyes, gripping the sides of the bath now with white knuckles.

Alex continued placing soft kisses on Piper's neck, moving from her jaw to her shoulder. On the way back up, her kisses became more forceful and open mouthed as she lightly sucked Piper's skin each time. Piper couldn't stop a low moan from leaving her lips as they parted with the arousal that Alex was creating. Alex smiled at the reaction she was getting and made her way up to Piper's ear again.

"Are you enjoying yourself Ms Chapman?" She breathed into Piper's ear before softly biting her earlobe and pulling at it with her teeth.

The sexual energy pumping between their bodies was deafening as Piper's breathing got a little more laboured from Alex's proximity to her ear. She opened her eyes and turned to Alex, meeting her eyes.

"I am and you are here to care for me after all." Piper moved closer to Alex's lips, where she could feel Alex's breathing was also a little uneven by this point.

"You're absolutely right." Alex licked her lips slowly. "Customer satisfaction is my number one priority... So...How can I be of service to you right now?" Alex dropped her eyes to Piper's lips, willing them to come closer, but not making the first move.

"Kiss me."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Sooo, lots of love for the last chapters! Who doesn't love a Vauseman kiss though hey? They're not quite ready to skip into the sunset holding hands though yet guys, so don't take your seatbelts off...**

Alex took her glasses off and put them down on the floor before moving to the side of the bath so she was facing Piper fully. She reached her hand out to touch the side of Piper's face, moving her fingers over the bruise around her right eye with feather light touches. She moved a stray strand of Piper's hair back behind her ear, showing the stitches in the side of her head. Moving both hands to gently cup the side of Piper's face, Alex brought her lips towards Piper's, stopping just before they touched. Piper's eyes were closed now and Alex could feel her breath on her lips as she waited for them to meet. She licked her lips again and slowly closed the gap between them to press her lips to Piper's. Closing her eyes, she pulled back again a little, before moving her face to slowly brush her lips over the blonde's now slightly parted lips. She lightly took Piper's lower lip in hers and sucked it so softly and slowly that she seemed to get lost in the moment. Alternating between the upper and lower lip for a few moments, she switched to lightly running her tongue along Piper's lower lip. Just touching gently with the very tip of her tongue and moving it from left to right, making sure to taste every cell of those luscious pink lips she had dreamed of for so long. The brunette moved her mouth over Piper's now and slowly massaged her lips with her own before pressing them together more firmly and pulling back to look at Piper.

As Alex ran her thumb across her cheek, Piper opened her eyes to look at Alex and the two looked at each other briefly before Alex leaned forwards to press their foreheads together. Alex's heart was racing from being in a moment that she had yearned for for so long now and Piper's eyes were full of desire. Alex closed her eyes to breathe her in for a while before Piper interrupted her reverie.

"Al?"

"Yeah." But Alex didn't move.

"Everything OK?"

"Very much so." She opened her eyes and smiled at Piper, who was looking a little alarmed by the unexpected delay in proceedings.

"OK. Good. Erm…shall I finish my bath then?"

Alex pulled away from her, suddenly aware that she was leaned into Piper and restricting her from doing anything other than be held by the face. It was a little awkward without the kissing she guessed.

"Oh. Sure, yeah. Of course…..I'll leave you to it. Just give me a shout when you're ready to get out then." She quickly put her glasses back on and picked up her wine glass to go back to the lounge, shutting the door over slightly behind her.

Piper sank back into the bath, a little confused by what just happened. She had fallen into old habits of flirting banter easily with Alex and had momentarily forgotten that they were exes. The kiss wasn't exactly planned, but it wasn't unwelcome either. She had very much wanted it in fact just moments ago. Well, she was wanting a lot more than a kiss when Alex had been kissing her neck like that and it had seemed that Alex did too from the way she was breathing into her ear and nipping her. The kiss had been amazing, everything she could have dreamed of for their first kiss since…what? Reuniting? Becoming friends again? Friends who kissed and lusted after each other? What exactly were they? All the time she was sitting there and running events over in her mind, she was aware that the water was cooling, so got back on with washing herself.

XXXXX

Alex sat on the sofa with her head in her hands. What just happened with Piper had been so unexpected and so hot, that she had struggled to contain her lust for the blonde woman. Sure, Piper had known she was flirting and teasing her, but normally Alex could give as good as she got while being in full control. She'd lost control a little in there and her body was reacting to Piper in a way that her brain couldn't be heard at all. She was not thinking at all when she started kissing her neck and there was every probability that her body would take it further. Moving to face Piper to kiss her properly allowed her a moment for her brain to cut into sharp focus when she was reminded of the bruises on the blonde's face, the stitches in her hair. Suddenly her brain was in full control again and was reminding her with every nerve ending that this beautiful woman in front of her was recovering from a brutal attack, where she'd been violated in the worst way possible barely more than a week ago. And there Alex was, about to be taken over by lust for that same body without even considering the state of Piper's emotions at that point.

She had kissed her so very tenderly as though trying to convey how much she cared for her through the touch of her lips alone. She had kissed her almost as though she might break. It was tender and loving and not at all lustful like if would have been moments before. Seeing Piper's apparent confusion over the change of pace and not wanting to explain it, she had decided to make her excuses and leave. Alex felt like such an idiot for being so wrapped up in her own feelings, that she had forgotten the whole reason she had been allowed back into Piper's life again. It wasn't to kiss and worship her body now, it was to care for someone in need.

XXXXX

Piper walked into the lounge area in her PJs, having managed to get herself out of the bath rather clumsily. It was at least progress to have managed it on her own.

"Hey."

"Oh hey Pipes. I thought you were going to shout me to give you a hand?"

"I managed to get out myself. It wasn't exactly elegant, but I did it without rolling onto the floor like a walrus anyhow."

Alex chuckled as she stood up to walk to the kitchen where Piper was headed.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No. I'm just going to take my last meds and a mug of warm milk before I turn in for the night. Is that OK? You can always put the TV on if you're not sleepy yet. I'm not really used to being up late at the moment."

"Oh. OK, that's fine. You get yourself off to bed and I'll catch up with a bit of work stuff actually before I call it a night."

Piper warmed her milk up and turned to take it to bed with her. "Thanks for today Al, I had a great time. Goodnight." She smiled before turning and walking to her room.

XXXXX

It was the Thursday before Christmas now and Piper slept in a little later than she had planned, so it was 10:30 by the time she was dressed and saw Alex already working on her laptop in the kitchen.

"Morning sleeping beauty. Can I get you a coffee and something to eat?"

"Mmm coffee would be nice. I'll just have some fruit I think." Piper took her tablets with a gulp of water from the tap and peeled a banana as she sat at the breakfast bar.

"Did you get to sleep OK on the sofa last night?"

"Yeah, it was alright. I worked until pretty late anyway and then I had some early morning calls to do this morning too, so I guess it was comfy enough for 6 hours inbetween. Is your appointment with the Victim Support Unit today?"

"Um, yeah. 11:30 she's coming around. I don't know how long these things take, so you might want to get out of here for an hour while she sits with me if you want?"

"It's OK, I'll stay if you want me to be there. I don't mind. I mean, is it all confidential and I'm not supposed to hear it like a counselling session or something?"

"I don't really know. I guess I'll find out when she's here." Piper took her coffee from Alex and finished her banana off before picking up her phone. There was a text from Polly.

'Hey, sorry I had to dump you last night. I got a better offer. By better I mean there was actually leaving the house, shopping for gifts for me, alcohol and sex. You can't compare ;-)'

'Haha. Well I'm glad you have made your priorities clear. I know what I'm not offering you in this relationship now.'

Piper flicked the TV on and curled up on the sofa as Polly replied again.

'How was it last night? Did you 2 play nice?'

'We did. No murders and no sex. But I need get a Christmas tree Pol!'

'Wow, you've got her whipped haven't you?'

'No. The VSU appointment is at 11:30 so I might send her out for a bit. I don't know what they are going to talk to me about, so it might be better if she isn't here.'

'You sure? Might be good to have someone with you.'

Piper thought about it briefly and thought about what Alex was saying yesterday about needing to talk to someone. Probably best she tries this one solo first to see how it goes.

'I'll be fine. See you tonight?'

'Yep'

XXXXX

At 11:30 there was a knock at the door and Piper answered it. There was a tall redhead dressed in a skirt and blouse smiling back at her. "Ms Chapman?"

"Yes, that's me. Please call me Piper though." Piper smiled back.

"Good Morning. I'm Sara Phillips from the Victim Support Unit, I hope you were expecting me at 11:30?"

"Indeed I was, come on in Sarah. I'll take your coat here if you like." Piper stepped aside to let the redhead inside and took the coat from her arm as she walked into the lounge. "Alex, this is Sarah Phillips from the Victim Support Unit, Sarah this is my friend Alex." She gestured between the two women and offered Sara a seat on the sofa.

"Hi Sarah, nice to meet you. Can I get you a drink before you get started?" Alex came to shake her hand. Sarah asked for a coffee and Piper the same, so Alex made herself busy in the kitchen while Piper got acquainted.

"So, I'm not sure if I'm allowed to have someone here with me during these sessions or if they are like 1:1 counselling or something? Alex said she can go out for a while if it's all confidential, so just tell me what usually happens I guess."

"Well, this is your first appointment so it's really for you to tell me what kind of support you would need from us at this stage. We can help you decide by going through your case together and working out whether you feel you are struggling with anything following the attack and how you might best work through those issues…..I have some case notes and your statement from the attack, so I'm not expecting you to go through that with the same details as you did with the DCI s at the time. Really though, it's important that you are honest. Honest with me when you're talking to me and answering my questions and honest with yourself about how you are feeling."

Alex brought the coffees over and hovered awkwardly, waiting for Piper to either invite her to stay or ask her to leave. Piper sensed this and decided it would be best to work through this first session on her own so she wasn't worrying about Alex reacting to anything she said.

"It's OK Alex, you can leave me to it here for a while. We're just going to talk about the case for a while so it's probably a good chance for you to get a break if you want?" Piper tried to phrase it like a question, but it was clear enough that she wanted to do this on her own. Alex smiled and picked up her jacket, saying she'd be back in about an hour.

"So, Piper how are you feeling at the moment? Not physically, your Doctors are treating that. I mean, have you thought about the attack since you woke up and how do you feel when you think about it?"

"Um…yes, I do think about it. Quite a lot I suppose. I mostly feel frustrated that I've lost my independence at the moment. I have to have someone with me at all times because of the head injury and I hate relying on other people. I've lived alone for a long time and I'm used to doing things at my own pace on my own terms. So to suddenly have to ask friends to help me around the house is knocking my self-esteem I guess."

"And when you think about the attack specifically, how do you feel?"

"I feel angry….That I wasn't more vigilant to stop it….I should have been more forceful in saying no to him. I didn't want to upset my friend by being rude to his best friend, so I went along with things too much….I feel weak, because I reverted back to being a WASPy blonde girl who smiles in all the right places…instead of the strong and independent woman I allowed myself to become when I was in prison. The woman who slept with one eye open and could protect herself from creeps by using her brains and brawn when necessary only appeared when it was already too late…" Piper swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Do you blame yourself for what happened?"

"Yes. I've learned my lesson the hard way before about keeping my wits about me and I let my guard down here. It shouldn't have happened and I could have prevented it. I feel foolish for letting myself get into that kind of situation again…"

"Again? Piper… have you been attacked before?"

Piper cursed herself for letting that slip out without thinking. This would open a whole new set of questions and she wanted the therapy to be over and done with so she could get back to normal. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling before replying.

"Yes, when I was in prison. But I've already been through all of the touchy-feely talking about it for that and I don't want to go through it all again. Can we just focus on this one and forget I mentioned that? Don't make any notes on that will you? I don't want everyone thinking I'm recurring fucking victim…Sorry for swearing."

"We won't talk about it today. I do want to focus on the recent attack as that is why I'm here, but I need to make a note that you have been attacked previously as it might influence what support you need from us. We're only here to help you though, we won't force you to do anything that you don't want to do."

Sarah had kind eyes and a warm smile, she was probably in her mid-30's and seemed to like her job from what Piper had seen so far. They talked about the attack a little and Sarah was able to update her on the progress of her case. Darryl had tried this before, but never been caught and the DNA evidence that her attack had provided was going to be crucial to other unsolved cases in the Massachusetts area. Piper felt a sense of relief that some good could come from this and Sarah was explaining the next steps in the prosecution when Alex returned.

"Oh hey, do you want me to head back out a while?" She started to turn back around to head out when Piper called her back in saying they were almost done. They arranged the next appointment for just after Christmas and Sarah wished them both a happy holiday as she put her coat on to leave. As she closed the door behind her, Piper felt a little better as a result of talking to Sarah. She guessed it had been good to share a little and finding out that Darryl had done this before made her feel a little less useless.

"I brought you some donuts, a pumpkin spice latte…aaaaannnddd…a new star for the top of the tree!" Alex beamed, putting the bags down on the kitchen counter.

"Aw, thanks! That's so sweet of you Al." She leaned over and kissed Alex on the cheek before opening the bag with donuts inside. "Mmmmm Boston Kreme, my favourites!"

"Soo? How was it? She seemed nice." Alex asked as she lifted her own coffee cup out of the bag.

"She was nice actually. It didn't feel so much like a therapy session with her making notes about everything I said. We just talked really. She gave me an update on the case and apparently this guy Darryl has done this before but never been caught."

"Seriously? That fucker!" Alex clenched her jaw tightly.

"I know. They never got the DNA evidence until now and he's used that drug on women in the Massachusetts area in the past-"

"What drug?" Alex looked at Piper questioning this new piece of information.

"Oh. Erm…it's something the police called GBL. He used it to spike my drink. It's….a….date rape drug I guess….". Piper forgot that Alex might not know all of the details of the attack.

"Fuck Piper. I'm sorry you ever met that fucking creep." Alex moved towards Piper and wrapped her in a tight embrace as they stood in the kitchen. She was talking into Piper's hair now so it was hard to hear complete sentences. The gist was threats about breaking his legs and taking his eyes out if she ever met him though.

Piper pulled back from her a little.

"Alex, it's OK. I'm OK. He's going to prison on the back of this and a lot of people could get justice for the things he has done to them in the past. So, what happened to me has stopped it from happening to anyone else. I actually feel a little better about it because of that you know." Piper looked at Alex and smiled to show she did feel better. Looking into Alex's eyes and seeing how deeply she still cared for her made Piper's heart jump a little.

"I appreciate you offering to break his legs of course. But can you relax your grip on my ribs a little?"

Alex laughed and immediately dropped her arms and stuffed them into the back pockets of her tight jeans. "Are you sure you're OK? Can I be at the next session?"

"I'm fine. Not sure I need anyone there actually, it's pretty good to just talk to a stranger to be honest. I hope you don't feel put out by that?"

She did feel a little put out by it, but if it was doing Piper some good to talk without her being there, she was going to go with it. "I can always use an excuse to shop for Christmas decorations, right?" Alex winked as she sipped her coffee.

"Yeah, good idea!"

Piper was a bit unsure about whether Alex was pretending that they didn't share that kiss last night and she didn't want to bring it up in case Alex was regretting it and it might make things awkward. They were having to spend a lot of time together at the moment and sometimes it felt easy, like spending the day with your best friend. Sometimes it was a bit harder though as she wrestled with the feelings that were resurfacing between them. Alex didn't seem awkward at all though, she'd just hugged her after all. But that's what made it strange...there were no jokey innuendos today, like they were back to being friends again. Maybe that is what they were trying to do now? Oh, what a head scramble this was!

She decided to sit at the breakfast bar with her laptop and email Polly the list of items she wanted to give her family as gifts. It might be a bit cheap to give them all gifts from her own store, but they were a start-up company and it would be a good chance to show her family how good their products were now. If Polly could bring everything back home with her tonight, she could wrap them tomorrow and put them under the tree.

XXXXX

As Piper had decided to work on her laptop, Alex guessed their conversation was over and went to sit on the sofa to look through her own work emails. She desperately wanted to know more about how Piper's session with Sarah had gone, but Piper seemed to be brushing it off as everything being fine whenever she had broached the subject. Conscious of not pushing her, she had let it drop again and decided to be the supportive friend that Piper must need at this point. With Polly working all hours at the store, she felt she had to fill in and not overstep for anything more than the temporary BFF now. It was brand new territory with Piper and it felt weird.

She logged in and Nicky popped up with a Skype chat.

'Hey Boss. How's the sabbatical treating you?'

'Hey yourself. I'm enjoying the break from the white noise coming out of your mouth. I might stay.'

'Really? Blondie not thrown you out on your ass yet then?'

'Nope.'

'Who knew you'd prefer being a live in maid to a rich bitch ;-)'

'Fuck. Off. I'm not a live in maid.'

'No? You sound like one to me. Blondie there's got you running after her like a puppy.'

'Are you back on the drugs Nicholls? Cause you're hallucinating.'

'Haha! Chill out. I'd do the same for a piece of her ass. Let me know when she ditches you, I'm next in line!'

'(rolls eyes). Seriously not having this conversation with you. Can you get the garage guy out to check over the truck tyres? There's snow on the way and I don't want any off the road if we can put some winter treads on them now. Yes, that was me changing the subject. Now go and do some work!'

'Aye aye Captain! ;-)'

XXXXX

Polly came back to the apartment with arms full of stuff from the store. There were the order books for Piper to sort through and the gifts that she wanted for her family.

"Oooh, thanks Pol! You're the best!" Piper clapper her hands as she peeked through all the bags.

Alex gave her a hand to bring in the last of the boxes before they closed the door and took their coats off.

"Do you want a coffee Polly?" Alex offered as she climbed over all the bags in the lounge.

"Yes please. Only because I'm going to try and not finish a whole bottle of wine on a work night for a change though." Alex went to make them some coffees while Polly dashed to use the bathroom. When she came back, she slumped into the chair in the lounge and Alex handed her a coffee before sitting down next to Piper on the sofa.

"So, did you miss me last night P? What did you guys get up to?" Polly leaned forward to pick up her mug while waiting for an answer.

"Um, nothing really. Just watched a film...Lost Boys."

"Yeah, we watched The Lost Boys, that was it. Great film that..." Alex added quickly.

"OK...you sure you watched The Lost Boys...cause you seem a little hesitant to remember there? Oh, and by hesitant I mean super-quick to answer at the same time." Polly smiled into her coffee mug at the rabbits caught in headlights on both of them.

"Nice tree though. Good job there Supercunt. I guess Piper managed to find a little Christmas spirit inside you after all (cough) with her tongue (cough)."

"Um, I think I'd better get going. My shift here is done. Er, see you in the morning?" Alex glanced at Piper as she stood and put her jacket on.

"Yes, see you tomorrow!" Polly chuckled.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: So Christmas is coming. There's a lot to pack into the next couple of days to get everyone ready and my real life job is getting in the way of my plotting time! Thanks for the lovely reviews guys, so nice to hear you are liking this so please continue to leave those reviews as I read every one :-)**

"Polly! Seriously? What the fuck was that all about?!" Piper glared at her best friend as she saw her sniggering into her coffee cup.

"Oh please. What happened between you two last night?"

"Nothing happened and nothing is going to happen if you pull stunts like that."

"Nothing happened? Really Piper?" Polly raised her eyebrow, clearly not believing a word of it.

"Look, it's hard to explain what is or isn't going on with me and Alex. I don't think we know. We've never done the friendship thing before and we're still trying to figure it out. It's hard to have a normal conversation with someone when you can't stop staring at their lips and remembering what they are capable of. That's all I'm saying on the subject."

"So something did happen then…?"

"Polly…" Piper glared at her making it clear she wasn't going to be badgered into talking.

"Can you talk me through the order books please and I'll put some dinner on while you get changed?"

They went through the order books and Polly changed while Piper prepared a quick pasta with meatballs dish for dinner.

"So, what are you doing for Christmas then? Are you going to head back to stay with your parents for the weekend?"

"I don't want to be there for the full weekend. I know Cal and Neri are staying home because there's a forecast of snow and they want to keep an eye on the place in case it gets heavy. So it would just be me, Mum and Dad most of the time. My Grandma will probably come over for dinner on Christmas Day. I'll call them and find out what the plans are and decide from there I think. What are you going to do?"

"Pete's folks are in Australia and he can't afford to go back at the moment, so I was going to see him a bit over the holidays I guess. You can always come round to mine and we can do dinner there if you don't want to go stay with your parents. I'm guessing you have to have someone with you anyway still?"

"Yeah, I've got another appointment after Christmas when I hope to get the all clear. I'm so sick of being a millstone around your neck. Sorry Pol."

"Don't worry about it. I know you'd do the same and don't think I'm not storing up favours for payback when I want to call it back in."

They ate their meal and Piper told her about the meeting with Sarah.

"Do you think they'll recommend you go back to your AA sessions?"

"Nah, I don't think they would. It's not like this attack happened because I'd drunk too much and I've been on the straight and narrow since getting out of Litchfield anyway now. It's over 3 years ago since I was really drinking and I know there's always a group there if I do need it. I honestly feel like I don't though. It's the counselling they might insist on, though Sarah says they won't force me to do anything I don't want to do. We have another session after Christmas, so I guess we'll see how that goes. Alex offered to stay with me, but I think I'd rather do them on my own. I don't want to feel self-conscious about anything I'm saying."

They washed up and Piper wrapped some of her family's gifts while Polly got showered, then called her parents to let them know she was OK and find out what the Christmas plans were.

XXXXX

Alex called around to Nicky's house on her way home from Piper's. She banged on the door and stuffed her hands into her pockets while she waited for her fuzzy haired friend to answer.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in? Long time, no see Vause." She stood in the doorway with her arms folded and brow raised as though it were a question.

"I'll let myself in shall I? And I thought you went to a nice school to learn manners and everything." Alex brushed past her and slapped her on the shoulder as she went through to the house.

"So, did Blondie give you time off for good behaviour tonight then?"

"I don't live there you know. Last night was a one-off so her friend Polly Hobby could get her leg over with some dude she's seeing."

"Sure. You were really putting yourself out to spend the night hey?" Nicky chuckled as she went to bring over a bottle of bourbon and a couple of glasses.

Alex rolled her eyes and took her jacket off, putting it on the arm of the chair in Nicky's lounge.

"How is Piper anyway? I've not heard from her for a couple of days. How long is she house bound for?"

"She's OK I guess. Her ribs are bruised and she's still getting headaches, but they changed her meds at the hospital. She has another appointment next week to see if she still has to stay home with someone. I think she's going to be stir crazy sitting in there for another week." Alex picked up her glass and raised it to Nicky.

"What are we toasting Sasquatch? Lesbian heroines or the hot ex-girlfriends who need them?"

XXXXX

Piper was up early again the next morning and had already eaten breakfast when Polly came through to find her already working through the order books at the breakfast bar.

"Wow, couldn't you sleep? How come you're starting so early?"

"I wanted to get a good start in case I needed to check anything with you before you leave this morning. I think I've got my head around it though. I reckon I'll have it done before lunch at this rate."

"Oh good. We might actually be able to close properly for Christmas at this rate! I'm going to grab a coffee on my way in this morning. So as soon as SuperCunt arrives, I'm going to dash….and speak of the Devil, looks like she's just pulled up."

Piper busied herself with the paperwork as the door opened up.

"Morning! I'm heading straight out for breakfast. I'm fancying something GOOSEBERRY flavoured…." Polly grinned behind Alex's back at Piper before slamming the door behind her.

"Hey."

"Hey. What was that about?"

"It's just Polly being Polly. Ignore her and she might go away."

"It's not worked in 8 years, I've stopped holding my breath for that dream to be answered." Alex took her beanie off and put it on top of her coat before shaking out her loose dark hair. She was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a cream cashmere sweater top with a loose turtle neck and looked hot as Hell. "You look hard at it. Ready for another coffee or are you already turbo charged?"

"Nope, I'm good. I don't want to risk my propensity for knocking things over with all this paper work, so I'll step away from it later for a top up. Thanks though. There's some cereal and milk if you want breakfast, just help yourself."

"Thanks. I'll have a quick bowl before I check through my own work stuff while you're doing that."

Alex busied herself in the kitchen and Piper could see her out of the corner of here eye keep rubbing the back of her neck.

"Is your neck still tense? I thought I sorted that the other night?" Piper blushed remembering what that led to and looked down at her papers when Alex turned around.

"Huh? Oh. No, it's fine. It worked, thanks. It's just kinda warm in here today I guess."

"Oh yeah, I put the heating on early today. You can knock it off if you're too hot…."

"Are you suggesting I might be too hot Piper?" Alex raised her eyebrow, once again the boundaries were getting lost.

"No! I'm talking about the temperature being too hot, not you. Don't get a big head."

Alex sat next to her at the breakfast bar with her cereal. "Well, I guess if I can't stand the heat I should get out of the kitchen then." She smiled innocently at Piper.

"Yeah, that way you can go from hot to cold as quickly as you like." Piper mumbled as she tried not to rise to Alex flirting with her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Uh-uh. What did you mean by that?" Alex was still eating her cereal but was turned to the side facing Piper straight on now.

"Forget it. I didn't mean anything." Piper's tone was rising and gave Alex all the evidence she needed that there was something behind the comment.

"Piper. Talk to me please."

Piper sighed and raked her fingers through her hair roughly, searching for words that wouldn't escalate into an argument but she wanted to find out what Alex was playing at.

"I guess I meant you are blowing hot and cold…" Piper shrugged and looked down at her hands.

"Do you want to explain that a little to me 'cause I'm assuming this has nothing to do with the weather now?" Alex went to put her bowl down away from Piper's paperwork.

"The other night. I'm talking about the other night you stayed over Alex. You kissed me and then ran away and pretended it never happened." Having managed to say the hardest words, Piper managed to look Alex in the eye now as she waited for an answer.

"OK…..You asked me to kiss you though, remember?"

"Really Alex?! That is your answer? You only did it because I asked you to? Then what? Your job was done and you thought you'd walk out to do another thing from your 'to-do' list?"

"No. That's not what I meant. I meant it wasn't just me kissing you, that you wanted me to. I just…I got caught up in the moment and forgot that I was supposed to be here to look after you."

Piper's eyebrows knitted together in utter confusion. "What? You're treating this like a job or something and fraternising with your employer might be get you fired?"

"No. Well, kind of I guess. Ugh. Sometimes I forget we aren't together anymore and I forget I'm supposed to be helping you get back on your feet after what happened at the bar. I kissed you because I wanted to, like really wanted to. I ran away because I wasn't supposed to."

Piper's confused expression didn't change.

"Right. I'm explaining this badly. Can we sit on the sofa a minute? This feels like we're on opposite sides of a board room with all these papers."

Piper nodded and they moved to sit on the sofa. Alex sat right next to Piper and put her hand on Piper's thigh as she started talking again.

"Pipes, I'm sorry if I left you confused the other night. I did really want to kiss you and it was amazing to finally be touching your lips. You took my breath away." Alex stroked a piece of blonde hair behind her ear as she looked her in the eye while she was talking.

"Then why did you stop Al? Why did you suddenly stop and then leave me feeling like I'd left a bad taste in your mouth?"

"What? No! How could you even think that?! Kissing you is like coming home Pipes. I….I just remembered the ordeal that you've just been through and how completely insensitive and selfish I would be to carry on with what we were doing."

"Selfish how? You're not making any sense here Alex. You say you wanted to kiss me, I wanted to kiss you. We were kissing, everything was happy in Kissingville. Then you zoned out on me and suddenly we're leaving Kissingville and on our way to Whatthefuckisgoingonville…" Piper reached out to hold the hand that Alex had now removed from her thigh as they were talking.

"Alex, I'm trying to understand where your head is at, I really am." She soothed her thumb over the top of Alex's hand now, waiting for Alex to find the words she was looking for.

The brunette couldn't understand how she'd managed to monumentally fuck something so simple up with Piper by trying to be understanding and take things slowly. Maybe she was even expecting Piper to be a bit relieved that she was happy to take things slowly and not rush anything between them. She certainly wasn't expecting to be hauled over the coals for it. She met Piper's eyes and looked for a hint of anything that would mean she didn't have to say it out loud. Piper just stared back blankly, so she took a deep breath.

"I know Piper. I know what happened that night at Sandy's Bar."

"OK…well I guessed you did or you wouldn't have seen me in the hospital, or be looking after me now in fact. What is it Alex? What do you know about that night that is freaking you out so much?"

"I was there." Alex looked down and mumbled the words so quietly that Piper barely heard them.

"You were in the bar that night?"

"Yes. I could have prevented all of this."

"Is that what you're so bothered about? You feel guilty because you happened to be in the bar on Friday? Alex-"

"I saw you with Steve, dancing together. I thought you were going to get off with him and I got jealous and left. If I'd have waited around and stayed, none of this would have happened."

"Don't be silly Alex. You couldn't have known what was going to happen and who is to say you could have stopped it anyway. That's an absurd thing to think about. Is that it? You don't want to be insensitive because you think I have a thing with Steve?"

"No. It's not that…"

"Then what? Please, just spit it out instead of me playing 20 questions. We could be here all day."

"I know that guy raped you Piper. Steve told me when I was at the hospital with you. I was about to punch his lights out because I thought he was the guy who attacked you. I had him on the floor and he told me that guy raped you." Piper looked at her with wide-eyes, shocked that something like this could be conveyed by a rumour and also worrying about if other people were thinking the same.

"I know he wasn't supposed to say anything and he made us promise not to tell your family."

"Us? Who else has he fucking told that I was raped?!" Piper was furious.

"Just me and then Polly when she came into your room and saw us on the floor."

"So Polly thinks I was raped too? Fucks sake…."

"Yes….wait. Thinks?"

"I wasn't raped Alex. He had every intention of doing so when he spiked my drink and led me round the back of the bar, but I only took a sip before throwing the drink over him. So I was able to defend myself more than I could have otherwise done." Piper looked carefully at Alex to make sure she was registering what she was saying.

"But Steve said he found you with your dress and panties all….."

"Yes, well I lost some dignity there for sure. My private parts aren't as private as they once were I suppose. But Steve got there in time to stop anything from happening. I'm OK Alex. The police did a few tests to be sure and they confirmed it all. He didn't rape me. Do you hear me?"

Alex leaned over and hugged Piper tightly. "Thank God. Who I don't believe in. But thank Him anyway. Fucking thank you God for this." She leaned back slightly before cupping Piper's face in her hands. "You're OK? You're really OK though? You would tell me if he hurt you in any other way wouldn't you?"

"I would. I promise I'm not keeping anything hidden. These wounds that you see are all I got. I might be a bit nervy about showing my face in Sandy's any time soon and I might never let anyone buy me a drink ever again, but I'm OK. I promise you Al."

Alex pulled her in for another hug, stroking her back up and down as she kissed the side of her face.

"Is that why you ran last night? You thought I'd freak out if you touched me?"

"Well, yeah. I didn't want to risk upsetting you."

"Well that's annoying."

"Annoying?"

"I was so fucking horny that night."


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Thanks to all of you who have left reviews, really appreciate it guys and also all the people who followed and read in secret as guests. Hope you're all having a great weekend so far (did anyone see that 3 piece tailored suit Laura Prepon wore to the SAG Party last night?! Made my weekend for sure ;-) ) Anyhoo...Christmas is approaching fast, so on with the story!**

Alex chuckled at Piper's admission and leaned back to look at the blonde as she spoke with an undeniable smirk on her face.

"And there I was thinking you might play hard to get."

"That was two days ago Alex. You've got an awful lot of ground to make up since then." Piper smiled and stood to go back to work. Alex shook her head, smiling at Piper as she walked away from her.

"So, how about we both get some work done this morning and then we finish up by lunchtime and go out and get some fresh air? I was thinking we could head to the Christmas market at Union Square if you fancy that?"

"Yes! It would be great to get out of the apartment for a bit and use my legs." Piper clapped her hands together at the prospect of freedom.

"OK. 2 hours enough for you to do all of that if you don't spill anything then?"

"Deal."

They worked in relative quiet for the rest of the morning before Piper closed the orders book over with a thud. The receipts were neatly organised with invoices and all the paperwork had a record in the orders book now. There were only a few days left of 2015, but it covered everything for this year apart from that.

"Ok, let me go and get changed into something I can wear in public and we can set off if you're ready too?"

"Yeah, I can close this down at any point now. I'll drive us there so we don't have to worry about the crowded subways. The roads might be choked with traffic, but at least your ribs won't get bashed by Christmas shopping."

Piper changed into some thick black leggings and a chunky knit sweater, topping them off with a matching black scarf and bobble hat before putting on some knee length brown boots. She looked adorable as she put her long winter coat on as they got ready to lock up.

"I see you've got your presents all sorted there. Are you heading to see your family for Christmas or are they coming here?"

"Oh, yeah. With the snow expected over the weekend, I don't want to risk them getting stuck trying to pick me up or, worse still, me getting stuck there and not able to get back. So, I'll probably just stay here and sort the presents when the weather has cleared."

"Don't you have to be here with someone?"

"Well, Polly will be around so I guess I'll spend it with her. What about you? Are you going anywhere for Christmas?"

They started walking out of the apartment as Alex answered, with Piper locking the door behind them.

"I'll be staying home I guess. Nicky is coming around, so we'll probably get drunk and watch horror films and have an anti-Christmas day." She laughed as she climbed into her car and fastened their seatbelts.

Alex started to weave through the streets, heading into the city when Piper had an idea.

"Why don't you both come over to my place? I'll invite Peter and Polly as well, but at least I won't feel like a gooseberry if there's a group of us. I'd have to get some food in, but everyone could chip in with the cooking and dishes I guess."

"Well, er, are you sure you'd want to be entertaining while you're still taking your meds? I mean, the last thing I would want to do if I wasn't drinking would be watching a load of people who are."

"I don't mind it actually. I can think of the benefits to my liver and it means I'm guaranteed to not be hung over on Boxing Day. There isn't much room though, so it would be a bit of a squeeze."

"Well, my place is a bit bigger and we could do it there. But…..you might not like the fact I don't have a Christmas tree."

"Alex! How can you not have Christmas decorations up by now?!"

"Well, I kind of lost track of time and I've not been home as much as I had expected lately….But if you can live without the tree, I don't mind opening up the invite. Even to Polly."

"OK, I guess I'll have to get my tree time in the morning in that case. You sure it's OK?"

"Fine. Honestly. I do need to get some supplies in though, so maybe we can do that later."

"Great!" Piper beamed at the prospect of having some banter with Nicky again and Christmas being slightly merrier than if it were just her and Polly.

"OK, let's see if we can park down here and walk around the corner…"

Alex managed to squeeze into a space a block away from the market and they got out of the car and paid the meter before heading towards the stalls. There were people everywhere and Christmas tunes were playing from speakers in several different directions as they approached. It had been a while since Piper ate breakfast so they headed straight for a German food stall selling enormous Bratwurst and got one each loaded with onions and mustard. Alex felt her stomach flip when Piper closed her eyes and moaned when she took the first bite. That was an expression she loved to see for very different reasons normally, but the sight was glorious. They ate their hotdogs while walking around the stalls and Piper picked up some small gifts from some of the handmade stalls to wrap as presents. They followed their noses to a stall selling mulled wine and hot apple cider, where Piper got sulky because she couldn't drink alcohol yet. As she stomped off to see the cute woolly reindeer mittens on the stall next door, Alex had a word with the drink stall holder. A couple of minutes later, Alex came up behind Piper and put her arm around her waist.

"I have a surprise for you, but you have to close your eyes first OK?"

Piper turned to Alex with narrowed eyes at first.

"Ah-ah. No peeking. Close your eyes. Tight shut Pipes." She closed her eyes, feeling a little silly standing in a crown with her eyes closed in front of the novelty mittens. A minute later Alex told her she could open them and she gave her a cup of hot apple juice with cinnamon sticks and spices.

"Hot apple cider, but without the alcohol and with all the other trimmings."

Piper grinned "Hot apple juice then?"

"Yeah, but it looks the part, right?" Alex handed her the cup and sipped her own apple juice. "Are you seriously considering these animal mittens?"

"I am. They're cute! Look how cute these reindeer ones are, with little red noses on the end."

"And on what occasion would you be wearing these?"

"I'd wear them every day, going to work in the winter. They are practical and cute."

"Or you could get these plain black ones…that go with any outfit."

"They are the ones you would buy."

Alex chuckled "Yeah, I guess they are. Are your hands cold?" She took Piper's free hand in her own and squeezed it gently. "Mm, you are a little cold. Want me to warm this one up while you have your non-alcoholic cider?"

Piper raised her eyebrow at Alex and smirked. "Are you asking if you can hold my hand Alex Vause?"

"No... I'm saying my hand is available to you, should you want to make use of it for strictly warmth giving purposes Piper Chapman." Alex tried to keep a nonchalant expression as she sipped her own hot drink slowly.

"Oh! Well if you're saying it's for the good of my health, I had better take it then." Piper reached out for Alex's hand and instinctively linked their fingers together. She turned her head away from Alex to hide the grin that spread across her face at the feeling of holding hands with Alex while all the Christmas songs were playing in the marketplace. The grin hadn't dimmed very much when she turned back to find Alex regarding her curiously. "It's medicinal. I know. Totally medicinal."

Alex chuckled and squeezed Piper's hand as they walked on to the other stalls together. They tried on hats, tasted samples of locally produced food and bought a few things for the Christmas dinner they were planning before heading back towards the car. The pace was slow, neither of them wanting to get to the car and separate and Piper was very aware that Alex was rubbing her thumb over the top of her hand as she was talking. Whether Alex even realised she was doing it didn't matter, it was the fact that the little soothing gesture that they used to share so easily when holding hands was there and it felt so right to be touching each other's skin. It was symbolic really, they were wanting to be closer to each other, Alex using the excuse of looking after Piper and Piper not minding at all. It was nice to feel looked after for once and they had fun today.

Alex unlocked the car and let go of Piper's hand as she opened the trunk to put their bags inside. She heard her phone buzz and quickly replied to a text before closing the trunk. Piper opened the passenger door and climbed in to fasten her seatbelt. She was staring out of the passenger window when Alex got in to start the car up.

"Everything OK Pipes? Are you due some more pills?"

"Hmm? Oh, what time is it? 5? I'm OK for a bit yet. Can we stop by Popi on the way home and I can ask Polly about Christmas dinner?"

"Yeah, we can swing by. We're going to get caught up in rush hour now anyway, so no harm going in that direction."

Piper carried on staring out of the window and Alex put the radio on low as they moved slowly through the city traffic to Brooklyn. Mariah Carey started to play again "Oh, good God. Is this woman stalking me with this inane tune?!" Alex switched the radio off again as Piper laughed.

"You're just worried I'll start singing along, but don't worry I can do requests too? What would you like me to sing Alex? How about Mistleoe and Wine? I think you love a bit of Cliff Richard." She reached over to pull at Alex's cheeks, forcing her to break into a smile. "You like that one eh? OK, here goes…Christmas time….misteltoe and wine….children singing…."

"No! Enough already! I can't take anymore!" Alex was laughing as she batted her away from her face.

"OK, OK. I'll save it until you're not driving then." She held onto Alex's hand again in her lap as they made their way to the store. Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up outside and Piper got out to look in on the window display.

"Aw, doesn't it look cute?!" Before Alex could answer, Piper was on her way inside to see where Polly was. Alex followed behind and closed the door behind her. There were a couple of customers browsing and Polly was on the phone behind the counter when she saw them and waved them over.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?!"

"Alex took me Christmas shopping, so I asked if we could stop in on the way home to see how the store is doing without me."

"Don't trust me to keep those shutters open without you then?"

"It's not that. I just wanted to see how busy it was…It's not exactly queuing out the door though…have you had many people in today?"

"Yeah, there were some big orders collected this morning and I've sent the last of the deliveries away today via Nicky so everything will arrive in time for the big day. I can't wait to close this place up tomorrow for a couple of day though I admit. It's been tough doing all these hours on my own – not to mention fucking boring" She added under her breath.

"Weeeell, as fascinating as it is listening to you two talk shop…I was wondering if Piper wanted to stay with you until closing time since you're heading over to hers anyway after work for the late shift. Would that be OK? Just means I can get some stuff done is all. I need to go out tonight, so could do with a couple of hours to tidy my place up and get washed up you know."

Piper looked up at her with a puzzled expression. "Oh. I didn't know you needed to be somewhere. Sure, you can head off. I'll be fine with Polly here….I'll, um, walk you to the car then."

Without looking at Polly, Piper walked with Alex until they were outside the store and standing by her car.

"Well, thanks for taking me out today Al. It was good to get out of the apartment for a while. So, um, I guess I'll see you in the morning then?"

"Yep, bright and early. Well, one of the two I suppose." Alex winked and started to move to open the car door but Piper was standing in front of it.

"Pipes? You're standing in-"

"Who are you seeing tonight Alex?"

"What? I didn't say I was seeing anyone."

"No, you didn't. But you didn't say you aren't seeing anyone either." Piper looked at her feet while Alex was sideswiped by the sudden questions.

"Well, I said I had stuff to do…." She sighed and ran her hands through her hair. "Look, if you don't want me to go, just-"

"No. It's fine. I just wondered is all. It doesn't matter. Honestly, just go. I'll see you in the morning." She smiled weakly before heading back into the store as quickly as she could, leaving Alex standing on the sidewalk wondering what just happened.

XXXXX

Piper slumped into a chair next to Polly behind the counter.

"Now she can't walk to her car without you running after her?"

"Have you ever heard the expression 'don't poke mad people with a pointy stick'? It applies here."

"No. But why are you mad?"

"Because Alex."

"That is normally reason enough, but you have gone from happy to mad in like 30 seconds of Alex saying she was leaving you with me. Am I such bad company these days?"

"We had such a nice day, starting from this morning actually…. Oh. Do you and Peter want to come to have Christmas dinner at Alex's place on Sunday?"

"Huh? You were mad with her not ten seconds ago, now you're planning a cosy Christmas foursome?" Polly folded her arms, more than a little perplexed by Piper's pendulum of emotions since she barrelled through the front door.

"Not cosy, Nicky is going to be there too. You like Nicky! It means I won't be a gooseberry with you and Pete and she has more space than my place apparently."

"Where does she live?"

"Er, I don't know. New York I guess. She said you're both welcome and we already got some food today. Come on Pol, it will be fun! And if it isn't well, at least you can make your excuses and leave at any time without any washing up to do. What's not to like about that? Plus, she will have good wine."

"OK, I'll check with Pete. It's not like I'd even thought about what I was going to cook anyway. God Piper, I wish you'd tell me things like this a little sooner."

"Wait. Fuck! I have to tell you something else."

"Jesus Piper, what is up with you today?"

"OK, so Alex told me that Steve told you both about the attack the other week."

"Yes, what has this go to do with-"

"He told you I was raped, but I wasn't. He got it wrong."

"Oh. OH! Thank fuck for that eh?! I thought you were super-recovered a bit quickly!"

"Yes, massive misunderstanding all around. He put two and two together and got something that wasn't four. So, I'm fine and just the bruising and head thing. The police tested me and they said I'm all clear….Not everyone was so lucky I guess with that drug he was using.

"Shit Piper, that's serious…."

They talked about the case for a while and Piper forgot about what happened with Alex until they closed the store and arrived back at her apartment. She was lying in the bath when she started to wonder where Alex had been heading tonight. She hadn't exactly been secretive about it, but she hadn't mentioned it earlier either. But then, what business was it of Piper's? It wasn't like they were together and Alex was perfectly entitled to do whatever the Hell she wanted and it didn't always have to include Piper. In fact, Piper thought she might be glad of an escape from looking after her all of the time.

XXXXX

The next morning, Piper stayed in bed as Polly got ready for work. Walking around the day before had tired her out and she had been out cold all night and was still groggy when Polly came in to say goodbye.

"SuperCunt is downstairs already and I'm heading off now. Pete said it will be an extra Christmas present to spend the day surrounded by women, so he's fine with dinner tomorrow. I'll take those books back with me as well. Text me if you need me to pick anything up for dinner tonight. I don't think there's much in now. Bye!"

"Bye Pol." Piper turned over onto her side and picked up her phone to see what time it was. 8am, time enough for another nap then.

XXXXX

This was the first morning that Piper hadn't been up already when Alex got there and she'd not heard or seen anything from her since she arrived 45 minutes ago. Conscious that Piper had acted a little odd when she left her at the kerbside yesterday and there was a lot to be arranged for tomorrow, she decided to look in on Piper's room to see if she was awake. She had brought muffins from the coffee shop for breakfast and made a coffee in the kitchen for Piper before heading upstairs with them and knocking on the side of the door. Piper didn't move, so she walked further into the room and stood next to her bed, where she could see Piper was laid on her front and clutching her pillow as she slept. Alex put the coffee and muffin down on the table by the bed and sat on the edge of the bed where Piper was facing.

"Hey, Pipes. Are planning to sleep through Christmas here?"

There was no movement from the body under the covers, so Alex reached out to smooth Piper's hair away from her face. She soothed it behind her ear and ran her hand down to Piper's neck and across her shoulder to run her hands up and down the arm that was hugging the pillow.

"Come on sleepy head, I've brought you some coffee." Alex continued to stroke up and down Piper's arm for a second before stopping to pick up her own coffee mug.

"Don't stop. That was nice." There was a muffled voice from the pillow next to her.

Alex chuckled and went back to stroking Piper's arm.

"You like that do you?"

"Yeah, it's very relaxing."

"Well, I want to wake you up, not send you back to sleep. You haven't even opened your eyes to see who it is yet. It could be a masked intruder for all you know."

"Are you wearing a mask Alex?"

"I might be. Why don't you open your eyes to see?"

"Because I have an image in my head now and I might be disappointed if I open them and find that Catwoman isn't perched on the side of my bed." Piper smiled into her pillow before slowly opening her eyes as she heard Alex laughing. She stretched out her legs as she laid on her front and focused on Alex sitting by the side of her.

"Well good morning. Sorry to disappoint with my outfit choice, but since you said I had so much ground to make up I figured it was too soon for PVC in the bedroom." Alex smirked and moved her hand away to sit in her lap. Piper turned onto her back and began to sit up against her pillows.

"You're right. Plus, it isn't Christmas until tomorrow so I'd have to wait a whole 24 hours to unwrap you. Is that my coffee on the side?" Piper nodded towards the table, managing to keep her face reasonably composed.

"Yes, I brought you a muffin too. Breakfast in bed gets me bonus points, right?"

"Depends…Is it blueberry?"

"Of course."

"Mmm, the points are all yours. So, Polly and Peter are in for dinner tomorrow. Did you check Nicky is OK with us gatecrashing?"

"Yeah, she's fine with it. Probably even happier that you will be there. A bit of eye candy will make her day I'm sure." Alex rolled her eyes as she remembered Nicky's shit-eating grin when she told her about Piper coming around for Christmas.

"Any other guests you're inviting I should know about?" Piper spoke while looking over her coffee mug at Alex's reaction.

"Nope. That's all from me…..Why do I get the feeling you're fishing for something? If you want to know something, just come out with it and ask." Alex's eyebrows knitted together suspiciously as she challenged Piper to not beat about the bush.

"OK….Where did you go last night?"

"Why is this so important to you to know where I went? It was really nothing very interesting, honestly."

"Answering a question with a question does not provide an answer….If it isn't interesting, why don't you just tell me?"

Alex took a deep breath. "I went to a group meeting with a friend. It was kind of last minute and they needed some moral support. Don't ask me who and don't ask me what meeting though Piper, that's not my confidence to break."

Piper considered her answer for a moment and decided that it wasn't fair to push Alex to break a friend's confidence just because Piper was a nosy and jealous person.

"Alright, I can accept that."

"You can 'accept' it? Well, that is a relief." Alex's answer was curt as she was a little annoyed that she was having to explain and defend herself at all here.

"Alex, I didn't mean it like that. I mean I can accept that you wouldn't want to break a friend's trust. I understand that and respect that totally." She reached for Alex's hand and brought it to sit on her own lap on the bed.

"I guess I forgot you have your own life until you left early yesterday and I realised I had never asked you something."

Alex looked confused now. "Asked me what?"

Piper considered if there was a way to ask this without it being so blatantly obvious that she was asking if Alex was in a relationship. There wasn't and she was all about cutting through the BS these days.

"Al, are you seeing anyone? I mean, are you living with, sleeping with, regularly hooking up with anyone that I should know about? Not that I have a right to know I guess, but I just don't want to risk starting something here that might get me punched in the face."

Piper's face was deadly serious and Alex laughed loudly as she squeezed Piper's hand.

"No Pipes, I'm totally single and fancy free and there is zero risk of you being punched in the face by any crazy exes. Although I do have a crazy ex recovering from a punch in the face at the moment, so you should definitely watch out for her."

Piper was worried for a second, before realising that she was that crazy ex.

"Oh. Good. I mean, that's a relief. I also am single and fancy free right now, in case you were wondering." She smiled coyly, watching Alex from beneath her eyelashes.

Alex took Piper's mug and put them both down on the table before leaning in towards Piper.

"Oh, I've wondered. I've been wondering for a very…..very…long time now." Alex was barely an inch away from Piper's lips when she finished speaking and her hot breath was making Piper want to lick her lips. The brunette looked into Piper's eyes and could see her own yearning reflected back at her. She raised her hand to cup the underside of Piper's jaw, leaning on her other hand for support. Piper closed the distance between them and pressed her lips firmly against Alex's delicious pink lips before lifting her own hand to reach into Alex's dark hair to pull her closer still. Piper parted her lips to gently suck at Alex's lower lips and soothe over it with her tongue. The feeling of Alex's hot mouth on hers was sending her stomach into somersaults as their lips sought to taste each other. Their kisses became firmer and more urgent as Alex tentatively moved her tongue between Piper's lips and into the hotness of her mouth. Piper moaned softly at the welcome feeling of Alex exploring her mouth and her tongue was just as eager to feel Alex. She pulled Alex closer still with her hand at the base of her head, her hand twisted into dark hair that she never wanted to let go of. The want and yearning between them was buzzing through every nerve ending, every skin cell that was in contact between the two women was pulsing with need as their tongues danced together with fervour and familiarity. Piper's heart was racing and she felt her body aching to feel Alex's touch on more than just her lips. She fought to keep her mind from thinking about what she wanted to happen next and focused on keeping her hands fixed above shoulder level. After a few more seconds of hot making out sitting on Piper's bed, she pushed the brunette back gently by her shoulders to break the kiss. They were both a little breathless and Alex moved her glasses to the top of her head.

"Fuck." Piper breathed as she held onto Alex with her hand on the side on her neck.

"Fuck indeed." Alex whispered back before leaning in to give Piper another slow kiss on the lips.

Piper moaned again as Alex gently tugged at her bottom lip with her teeth as she pulled away from her.

"OK. I need to get up. And get a shower. Yes, a shower is a good idea right now." She started to get up and pulled the covers open at the opposite side of the bed so Alex couldn't block her escape. "And you can wait in the kitchen for me. You've not got enough points to be in here right now. Be gone!" Piper smiled as she grabbed her robe and a towel and headed to the bathroom.

Alex laughed and laid back on Piper's bed for a moment. She could smell Piper on her pillow and she breathed it in to fill her lungs.

"Piper Elizabeth Chapman, I'm so going to have you for Christmas this year." She thought to herself as she lay with her face on Piper's pillow.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Hey, thanks to izzielg, WB79, lia, ejm137 and guests for your reviews. Glad you're all excited for the next chapter! There's a lot to do in the run up to the big day, so I'm splitting Christmas Eve up into two parts. I've started part 2, so hope I can upload without you waiting too long. Rubbing your hands for some Vauseman? Here you go with my longest chapter yet...**

Alex was on the phone in the kitchen when Piper came through, dressed in blue jeans and a Red Sox hoodie. The bruising on her face was barely visible at all now and she was walking much more easily as her ribs healed. She walked past Alex and reached into the cupboards past her for a glass. Alex turned from the window and smiled as she carried on her conversation.

"But did they agree to collect on 2nd Jan from the depot?...Yeah…..And did you sort out that Tokyo order this morning?...OK, well do you think you'll be finished by lunch?..."

Piper took her meds and looked over at Alex, mouthing 'Is it Nicky?' as she heard the conversation.

Alex nodded and rolled her eyes at the phone.

"No, I told you I can do it…Yes it is exactly because I don't trust you…."

Piper swiped the phone from Alex's hand.

"Hey Nicky Nicholls! Guess who?" Alex's eyes grew wide as she tried to reach for the phone again, but Piper held her off.

"Well if it isn't my number one pain in the ass customer! How ya doin blondie?"

"I'm doing just fine actually. Will I be seeing you at dinner tomorrow?"

"You sure will. How else am I going to collect my Christmas present from you?"

"A little premature as always Miss Nicholls. How can you be so sure you made the nice list this year?" Piper smirked as she saw Alex shoot her a look of warning.

"Well I guess the fat guy in the red suit will be the judge, but I'm pretty sure I'll be rewarded for my good deeds this year."

"Ah, tomorrow will tell then. Was Alex just calling to tell you all to finish at lunch time? I'm pretty sure I heard her say she was going to let you all finish early, seeing as it is Christmas Eve and all."

"No I did not say that! Piper! Give me the phone back right now!" Alex was trying to get hold of Piper's arm without hurting her ribs and Nicky could hear the struggle at the other end of the line.

"Yeah, we can hear all that. So, just to confirm – amongst all the heavy breathing and giggling going on – we are to finish at lunch and head straight to the pub and what was that last part? Oh, open a tab in your name? Sure thing boss. Hearing you loud and clear." Nicky laughed as Piper agreed with her and hung up before handing the phone back to Alex, grinning from ear to ear.

"I can't believe you just did that!" Alex put her phone in the back pocket of her skinny black jeans.

"Come on Al, it's Christmas Eve. Poor Nicky has been running the place without you for a week, you should give her a break and let her leave a little early today of all days." Piper knew Alex wasn't really mad, she just wanted to be the one to tell them they could leave a little earlier than normal today.

"Well, I still need to look in on them later this morning anyway and I'll lock the place up. With the snow coming, I want to check the pipes are covered and sleep easy knowing I didn't trust goldfish brain to do it when she was thinking about the pub."

"OK, we need to get some more food and drink in for tomorrow anyway so we can head over once we've done that. Are you finished with your gifts already or do you still have more to get?" Piper was looking through the fridge to see if there was anything to eat for dinner tonight as Alex replied.

"I'm pretty much done, but there's a store near PoPi that I need to call into if you want to see Polly as well?"

"Shall we get going then? There's kind of a lot to do…."

Piper started to walk towards her coat when Alex grabbed her wrist as she went past, stopping her in her tracks. Piper looked at her wrist and then up at Alex, puzzled. Alex pulled her closer and leaned in to kiss her soundly on the mouth. After a few seconds, Piper started to respond, kissing her back and opening her mouth to encourage Alex to deepen the kiss. The brunette pulled her lips away quickly and whispered into Piper's ear "We don't have time for you to take another cold shower this morning." She walked off to pick her bag up and put her beanie on before opening the front door. "Well, are you coming?"

XXXXX

They walked around Wholefoods with Alex putting whatever Piper wanted into the trolley. She just wished the blonde would not have to read every label before deciding whether to buy or not because this whole chore could be over so much faster if they just scooped up everything on the list and paid. She texted Nicky while Piper was working out how far the mangoes had travelled…

'Hey, what bar are you heading to later? Might join you.'

'Probably Sandy's. Should be all done by 1 if you bring your purse ;-) '

'Don't go to Sandy's. Pick somewhere different and we might join you. Not sure if Piper will want to come, but I'll ask.'

'OK. Maybe try that new place called Gotham then? Text me if you're coming.'

Alex flipped her phone shut just as Piper came back to show her the calculations on her phone for how many miles the mango in her hand had travelled to get here.

"Fascinating. Really. It must be tired after all that swimming, so maybe you should let it have a sleep in one of the eco-friendly canvas bags you've brought along when we pay and get the Hell on with the rest of the stuff we have to do today? I'd say it was the humane thing to do here Pipes. Come on let's get him tucked in." She steered Piper towards the cash desk before the blonde could protest and they paid for everything and packed it away in the car.

"Alright, let's head to Brooklyn now and we can go to the liquor store down the road from PoPi and you can go in and see Polly while I finish a bit of shopping. Then I need to go and make sure Nicky closes up properly before she escapes. Um, did you fancy joining them for a drink this afternoon? I mean, I know you can't drink on the meds so you might think it's a bit…-"

"Yeah, I think I'd like that. It will be nice to see everyone again and get into the Christmas spirit. It won't be anywhere loud or crazy will it? "

"No, I think Nicky was talking about a place called Gotham. I think it's fairly quiet in there, just for locals I guess. We don't need to stay long. I just wanted to get them some drinks in and say thanks before they go home for Christmas."

They drove through the city and parked outside of PoPi before heading over to get a few nice bottles of wine in and some decent Bourbon for later. They put them in the trunk before Piper headed into PoPi, leaving Alex to do the last of her gift buying.

Alex headed over to a small antique book dealer she knew as a client. The shop had been there for many years and was a specialist in obtaining rare and first editions, tracking them down through an existing network of book dealers operating internationally. She walked to the counter where the owner, James recognised her.

"Hello Alex. It's nice to see you again. Are you here to pick your book up?"

"Hi James, I am. Thanks so much for tracking it down for me. I really appreciate you finding it so quickly too."

James went into the room behind the counter and brought out a black box, about the size of a show box and placed it onto the counter. He gestured for Alex to go ahead and look inside and she gently took the lid off before looking inside at the book, which was sealed in protective packaging and cushioned by shredded paper. She didn't want to open the seal on the book and could tell it was in excellent condition through the packaging.

"It's perfect, thank you!" It was already paid for by bank transfer when James had found it in a London store a couple of days ago, so he wrapped it in a paper bag so Alex could take it back to the car.

"Have a Merry Christmas James and I'll see you again after New Year." She smiled as she waved goodbye and went back to put the box into the car. It was 12 o'clock now and Piper texted Nicky to say they would be coming to the bar with them and were going to head over to NY Logistics in a few minutes to close up. Slipping her phone back into her pocket she headed into PoPi to find Piper serving a customer behind the counter. She walked around the store for a few minutes and picked up some shower gel and bath foam gift sets, taking them to the counter.

"Hey, good choices. They are two of my favourites. Do you want them gift wrapping?" Piper asked as she started to get a piece of pink tissue paper.

"No, they are for me so no need to wrap them." She took out her purse and Piper waved her away.

"Well, you're not paying for them. I won't let you."

"Come on, I wasn't expecting freebies. I want to pay for them, please take this. I won't let you give these to me without taking something." Alex put $40 on the counter as Piper bagged up the products. She picked up the bag and backed away from the counter so Piper had to pick the money up.

"Where's Polly at? We need to get going to lock up before Nicky starts drinking soon."

"She's out back wrapping her Christmas presents while I took over the counter for a bit. Hey Pol! Are you nearly done? We have to head over to NY Logistics to close up soon." Piper shouted through the back doorway.

She walked around to help an elderly couple search out some last minute stocking fillers for their grandkids and sold them $60 worth of miniature sets before Polly reappeared.

"Ah, it must be Christmas. Scrooge has made an appearance." Polly nodded at Alex.

"Scrooge? Why the fuck are you calling me that?"

"Well, I hear you don't have any Christmas decorations up at home. Are those rumours true? Am I about to spend the most festive day of the year in an empty shell without so much as a sprig of mistletoe?"

"Well, no I haven't got a tree up and there aren't any decorations either. But now I know you're hot for the mistletoe treatment I'll get straight on it."

"Ugh, no thanks. I know where your lips have been." Polly screwed her face up and Piper turned crimson.

"Polly!" Piper glared at her.

Alex creased up laughing and Piper dragged her out of the store before the embarrassment got any worse.

"Right. See you tonight then."

"Bye!" Polly sang out after them.

They drove over to NY Logistics and parked up outside the side door. Alex opened the door for Piper to walk up the stairs to the offices first. Piper pushed the door open to find Nicky and Lorna sitting at their desks with their backs to the door wearing reindeer antlers with flashing red lights. The place was covered with tinsel and fairy lights adorned a small tree in the corner of the office.

"Well looks like the Christmas spirit is alive in here at least!" Piper said, causing them both to turn around.

"Hey Piper Chapman! How are you doing? You coming to rescue us from the labour camp?" Nicky came over to give her a hug.

"Ah, easy on the love Nicky. My ribs aren't Nicholls-proof yet. And yes I am here to help you escape. Hey can we take some of these decorations to Alex's place for tomorrow?"

Nicky shrugged. "Sure, if The Grinch over there will let you."

Alex closed the door behind her and rolled her eyes. "Is there any point for only a day?"

"Yes!" Nicky, Lorna and Piper said in unison. Alex held her hands up in mock surrender before walking into her office to check everything was switched off at the mains switch. Piper picked up the little tree, some fairy lights and tinsel as she walked around the office.

"What are your plans for Christmas Lorna? Are you spending time with your family?" Piper asked as she bunched up the fairy lights.

"I'm going to my parents for dinner and there will be about 20 of us, so it's gonna be a mad house. My sisters are bringing their kids, so they are really excited about Santa coming too." Lorna grinned, clearly Christmas was a special time for her to spend time with her family as they all seemed really close.

Alex came out of her office and closed the door behind her. "Are you guys all finished here and we can lock up?"

"Hell yes!" Nicky pulled the plug out of the wall for her computer and waved it at Alex, who rolled her eyes.

"I hope you saved whatever that was on your screen before it went black."

Nicky didn't even answer as she ran downstairs to tell Poussey and Taystee that the boss had given them the thumbs up to call it a day. Alex went around the building checking everything was unplugged that was supposed to be, water pipes were covered and the heating was set to come on at intervals to keep the place from freezing over the next few days.

Piper knew Alex was a control freak when she was in the cartel, but that was all done on email and phone calls to organise people to do things. Seeing her doing much more domesticated things like preventing the pipes from freezing was kind of strange but also comforting as it seemed a bit more akin to long term planning – someone who was sticking around. Piper looked around the office space and looked in through the window of Alex's office. There was a pretty clear desk, with neat piles of paper in ordered trays and the chair was pushed in under the desk. Neat freak and control freak. Piper smiled to herself as Alex came back.

"Ready? Everyone's ready to go when you are."

Piper nodded and walked back downstairs where everyone was waiting, with her armful of decorations.

"Wow, Piper, looks like you just stole Christmas there!" Poussey laughed as she half hugged her around the decorations.

"OK, I've got room in my car for 3 of you if you want a lift. Is anyone else driving or are you taking a cab?"

"Aw, aren't you drinking Alex?" Poussey whined, pleading to change her mind.

"No, I need to make sure Piper gets back home tonight or Polly Hobby will have my head on a sharp stick. Plus, I have a shitload of shopping in the back that I have to get home later."

Nicky managed to hail a cab while they were talking so the four of them said they'd meet Alex and Piper there. They got back into the car and Piper put the decorations on the back seat before belting up.

"Are you sure you're OK going to the bar this afternoon? We can always bail you know." Alex leaned forward to look at Piper as she spoke.

"It's OK. Good to get it out of my system quickly I think. Just…don't leave me on my own." Piper looked over to Alex, clearly a little nervous about the prospect of going into a busy bar for the first time since the attack. Alex held her hand tightly.

"You won't be on your own, I promise."

They drove to the bar and Alex parked down a side street further away because it was well lit and she didn't want to leave her nice car with all that shopping in the back down some dodgy backstreet. Alex took Piper's hand as they walked towards the bar and stopped be her side when Piper hesitated in front of the doors when she heard all of the bar noise inside.

"Take your time. I'll be right here with you." Alex kissed her on the cheek and waited for Piper to make the move indoors. Taking a deep breath, Piper stepped forwards and pulled the door open quickly and stepped inside. Alex was right behind her, still holding her hand as they made their way to the bar.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Um, just water please. In a bottle from the fridge."

"Sure thing."

Alex ordered a beer for herself and the bottle of water, conscious that Piper watched the barman's every move with her drink. She opened a tab for the group and gave her card to the barman to cover anything they ordered this afternoon.

"OK?" Alex soothed up and down Piper's arm as they looked for where Nicky and the group had sat in a booth in the far corner of the room. Piper took her hoodie off before sitting down, revealing a tight fitted white v-neck t-shirt.

"Whoah, easy Blondie! You said you were giving me my present tomorrow!"

"Nicky!" Piper scoffed, suddenly conscious of if the v was too revealing as she looked down to check on her cleavage.

"Nice unwrapping there though." Nicky winked before taking a long drink of her beer.

They sat in the booth drinking and laughing for a while before Alex leaned over to tell Piper she was going to the restroom. Piper was caught in a moment of indecision as she wanted to go with Alex, but she knew she would be fine with the group around her. Alex saw the panic in her eyes and put her hand on her thigh and squeezed it reassuringly before she got up to leave. Piper watched her leave and gripped her water bottle as she tried to focus on the conversation to take her mind off the fact that Alex had left her. Nicky saw her keep looking over towards the door of the restrooms and caught her eye.

"It's OK Piper. She'll be back any second. We're not going anywhere, OK?" She smiled.

Piper felt silly for worrying about Alex leaving her. She was a grown up for God's sake and she felt a bit pathetic to be sitting and looking at the door like a puppy waiting for their owner to return. Alex soon came back and quickly squeezed Piper's hand beneath the table when she sat back down.

"You ready for another drink Pipes?" Alex asked her, noticing she was still clinging to an empty water bottle on the table.

"Yeah, I'll come with you."

"Another round of the same guys?" Alex asked the rest of the group as she stood to go over to the bar. Greeted with emphatic nods, they walked to the bar to put the order in.

"You having a good time?"

"Yeah, I am. Sorry if I seem a bit jumpy. It's just the noise of everyone talking around the bar is a bit overwhelming I think."

"It's fine. Let's take these over before they sober up and we can have a look at the old jukebox in the corner. I bet there's some decent songs on there we can put on."

They dropped the drinks off and had a look through the song titles on the jukebox. Alex put a few dollars in the machine so they could choose half a dozen songs to play in the background. Piper was reading the song lists when Alex put her chin on her shoulder as she was reading. She snaked her arms around her waist and pulled her close as they read through the various artists. Piper was finding it hard to concentrate, having Alex so close to her.

"Mmm, I like the view from here." Alex breathed onto her neck as she looked down the v of Piper's t-shirt. She kissed her pulse point and notice Piper's nipples stiffen beneath the t-shirt and smiled as she moved her hands to her hips and gently moved her fingers over the material at the bottom of the white top.

"Alex….you're going to have to stop that." Piper hissed as she put her hands over Alex's to stop them from stroking her hips.

Kissing Piper's neck, Alex breathed in the scent of her hair, nuzzling it with her nose as she did. "Are you absolutely sure about that?"

Piper closed her eyes briefly and swallowed before speaking.

"Yes. We're out with your friends and it's rude to leave them."

Alex moved her hands from beneath Piper's and moved them around to the base of the blonde's back, finding the hem of her top and pushing her fingertips beneath it to touch just her thumbs against the bare skin on Piper's back and stroke little circles as the fabric bunched over her wrists and she pushed her fingertips up beneath her t-shirt and moved them above Piper's hips. She could feel the goosebumps raising on Piper's skin and traced over the top of them slowly as her fingers took in the warmth and ached for the familiarity that touching Piper brought.

"Stay with me tonight." Alex spoke against her neck.

Piper's breathing was shallow and she was desperately trying not to think about the sensations her skin was feeling from Alex's touch, but the brunette knew exactly what reaction she was getting from her an knew she was doing just enough to make Piper want more than she wanted to admit to. Piper punched some numbers into the jukebox and turned to look at Alex. The brunette took her hands away and held them up in the air, expecting Piper to lay the law down.

"Dance with me Al." Piper took her hand and led them over to the small wooden dancefloor area down some steps behind the jukebox. They were the only two on there and other people around them were busy talking.

Yazoo 'Only You' played over the speakers and Alex smiled at the memories of them playing this song in some cheesy 80's style dance club they had been to when they were travelling. They had danced together to this before at the end of a night where Piper had been jealous over her spending a lot of time with a new mule and that night Alex had requested this from the DJ and asked Piper to dance.

Piper ran her fingers over Alex's cheek as they danced together slowly, looking into her eyes as she spoke. "What's going on Al? What are we doing?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I just know this feels right to me." She turned her face into Piper's fingers and kissed her palm.

"Are we going to end up hurting each other if this carries on? I….I don't think I can go through that again."

"Me neither." Alex pulled Piper closer and kissed her softly on the lips. Piper kissed her back and it was chaste and tender at the same time as they moved slowly to the song, barely dancing at all to the music now.

"I just know I want to spend time with you and it's getting harder to leave you every day and wait for the next morning to see you again." Alex kissed her cheek and Piper laid her head against her shoulder as the song finished.

They made their way back up the couple of steps and Piper remembered they still had 3 songs left on credit. She pulled Alex over to punch some more song titles in.

When Alex started to put restrictions like 'no boybands' and 'no ballads' on her selections, Piper insisted on Alex not looking when she made her final choices.

"Piper, I can sense you flipping back to that NSync album already.."

"I'm not. See, the first track is coming on now. Not NSync."

Joan Jett 'I love rock'n'roll' started up and Alex nodded appreciatively as Piper punched in the rest of her list and they went to sit down again.

"There you are! We were starting to wonder if you'd dumped us with the check." Taystee remarked as they settled back into the booth.

"Nope. Just checking out the vintage tunes over there. I like this place, it's very laid back and not too crowded." Piper said, taking a drink of water. Alex was also drinking water now as she had to drive back and sitting in a pub with everyone else drinking beer felt a little odd.

Poussey started telling them the story of how she found this bar by accident when she was driving the delivery truck a few weeks back. She promised she didn't come in for a beer while she was at work but Alex just laughed at her being defensive and said it was time well spent on good research for today.

The next song clicked on and it was The Ramones 'Do you wanna dance?'

"Wow, The Ramones! My Dad loves this band. Anyone want to dance?" Lorna stood up, hopeful that someone would want to join her. Taystee and Piper joined her, while Poussey, Alex and Nicky stayed in the booth. The three of them jiggled around on the dancefloor along with a couple of other people who were emboldened by the group starting the music. The next track that came on was Kelis and 'milkshake' and as soon as Piper heard it start she started to do the dance routine her and Alex learned from a young drug mule in Bali many years ago. She was soon teaching Taystee and Lorna the moves, with a couple of other people who moved to the dancefloor also trying to follow behind them. Everyone was laughing and having fun. Piper had chosen some upbeat tempo songs that everyone could dance and sign to, so they stayed up the for a while as other people added more songs to the playlist.

"Having a good time Vause?" Nicky asked with raised eyebrows as Alex was peeling the label off her bottled water.

"Yeah, apart from the fact I'm sat in a bar drinking water on Christmas Eve you mean?."

"You and Piper seem awfully friendly like. Anything you want to tell us boss?" Poussey cut in.

"Nope."

"Hmmm…she ain't smirking either there Nicholls. That means she ain't got as friendly as she'd like I'd say, wouldn't you?"

"Think you might be onto something there P." Nicky kept her eyes on Alex as she spoke, but the brunette wasn't giving anything away.

"Isn't it your turn to get off your ass and get a round of drinks in Poussey? Or shall I just close that tab now and assume you're all done for the night?" Alex threatened, raising her brows.

"Oh, we ain't finished yet. You want some tequila with your beer Nicky?" Poussey clambered past Alex to get to the bar.

"Line 'em up P!"

Nicky was looking at Alex expectantly waiting for her to talk. But the green eyes remained firmly fixed on her nearly empty water.

"Hey, we're just messing with you. I know you're gonna do whatever the fuck you want. You always do. I just want to make sure-"

"Whew! White girls were busting some moves down there y'all!" Taystee interrupted them, leaning over and grabbing Alex's water to finish it off. Lorna and Piper were close behind, laughing together as they stood by the table.

"Great, you're back! Shall we head off now? I'm not sure I can drink another bottle of water while this lot are downing shots of tequila." Before Piper could even reply, Alex was getting up and putting her jacket on.

"OK, fair enough. I guess you have a lot to do before tomorrow as well. Let's get going. Have a great Christmas guys and hopefully I can join in with the shots next time around." Piper hugged everyone before putting her hoodie and coat on.

"See you tomorrow Blondie. Don't forget to wear something nice for me." Nicky wiggled her brows, making Piper laugh.

Alex put her hand on the small of Piper's back as they walked to the front door and out into the cold winter air, then moved to put her arm around Piper's shoulder as they walked towards the car. Piper leaned into her to snuggle into her warmth.

"So, it's 4 o'clock now…Do you want to come back to my place while I get that poor exhausted mango into a warm fruit bowl and you can put up those decorations you stole? There must be something in all those bags that I can rustle up some dinner with as well."

Piper was curious about where Alex lived and wanted to help get the place ready for dinner tomorrow, especially as she felt as though she'd kind of pressured her into extending her plans to include an extra 3 people because of her.

"I suppose I am the foremost expert in hanging fairy lights that is available to you at such short notice….I'll have to clear my schedule for you of course."

"Thanks. I'm honoured, obviously." Alex laughed as she moved her arm away.

"Can we…go to my place first and pick up some things?"

"Yeah, we can….." Alex started to turn to walk to the other side of the car before stopping in her tracks. She turned to look at Piper, who was smiling and looking at her from beneath her eyelashes.

"Is that a yes?" Alex grinned from ear to ear when Piper nodded back. She pulled her in to kiss her on the lips, pressing their faces together so tightly it was hard to breath.

"Call Polly and tell her you won't be home tonight because I'm checking out your mistletoe."


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Part 2 of the Christmas Eve installment, as promised. This is a chapter I have re-written several times, so I'm kinda nervous about publishing this one! Hope you like how it goes. I think one or two of you might have been waiting for this so I hope it lives up to your dreams - assuming your dreams are about hot chocolate ;-)**

Piper called Polly to say she didn't need to come over tonight because she was going to help Alex get her place ready for Christmas dinner tomorrow. She could practically hear her scepticism on the end of the line at Piper's justification for staying over, but it was enough of an excuse for Polly to sleep in her own bed the night before Christmas, so no doubt there would now be more space for Pete too.

Alex pulled up outside Piper's apartment and they went inside, with Alex making them coffee while Piper flitted from one unfinished task to another in her room. She hadn't wrapped all of the gifts she needed to take with her for tomorrow, so she was trying to quickly wrap those while remembering she needed to pack something nice to wear for the dinner…and something to wear first thing for helping in the kitchen, then something else for later when everybody left again…Wait. What? Was she planning to stay later than everyone else? Suddenly she was considering staying over for two nights and she shook her head of that idea. Take things slowly P or this is going to end badly. Fuck knows. It might end badly anyway given their past history of hurting each other.

She sat on her bed holding her head in her hands to just think for a minute. Was this a really bad idea? They had been carrying on as though they were in a relationship, as though it were a new relationship where there wasn't a real shitty history behind them. They'd just avoided talking about that stuff because someone always ended up angry and in her situation of having to be looked after, running away in a huff wasn't an option yet. Did that mean that these feelings she had developed over the past 2 weeks were also one-sided because they were brushing the bad stuff aside? Were they pretending that everything was rosy in the garden when they both knew it wasn't? She ran her hands through her hair, trying to find some sort of answer from the ether that would guide her to the right decision. She could go and tell Alex right now that she'd changed her mind and call Polly back. But if she didn't it would raise Alex's expectations that they could be a 'thing'. Did Alex even want to be a 'thing'? Did Piper?

"Hey. Doesn't look like much packing is going on here….Everything OK?"

Piper looked up startled at seeing Alex standing in front of her.

"Oh. Were you shouting me? Sorry I didn't hear you."

"Yeah, but I can see you're kinda busy." Alex sat beside her on the bed, leaning forward with her elbows on her thighs, her hands clasped together supporting her chin.

"Pipes, I don't want you to stress about staying over at my place. I don't know whether it's because you'd rather be here at home on Christmas night, and if you'd rather be here, that's OK. I can stay here, you can stay at mine or we can both stay in our own homes and you can call Polly. I'm not pushing for anything here. I just want to spend time with you and if you want to spend time with me, we'd better get a move on because I'm starving. The ball is totally in your court. Finish up packing or call Polly. I'll be waiting by the door." She leaned over and kissed Piper on the cheek before leaving her to her thoughts.

Alex really wanted Piper to spend Christmas Eve with her so they eat together and cuddle up on the sofa as the snow started to fall, but she wasn't about to plead with the blonde. If Piper genuinely had doubts about wanting to stay over, she'd actually rather they kept things as they were and at least they would know where they stood. She felt like she'd made her feelings clear enough by asking and as usual, Piper was sitting on the fence. She shook her head at how all too fucking familiar this was starting to appear when Piper appeared with her bag in the doorway.

"Sorry. I just started to overthink things I guess. Not only does your suggestion make the most practical sense by me being there to give you a hand with everything, but I do want to spend more time with you as well. I was just panicking about whether all this is real I suppose. You know what I'm like." She smiled meekly.

"C'mere." The brunette pulled her into a hug and rubbed her hands up and down Piper's shoulders.

"What do you need me to carry?"

XXXXX

They drove through the streets to Williamsburg and Alex turned the car into a gated parking lot where she waved an access card in front of a security box to open the gate before driving into a covered garage. Piper looked up at the tall building they were parking underneath with wide eyes.

"Jesus Alex, you live here?! I thought you said your place was a bit bigger than mine?"

"Well, it is a bit bigger than yours. I don't mind where we have dinner tomorrow though."

Alex parked the car in a numbered bay and climbed out to start collecting the bags from the back.

"Are you OK to carry these lighter ones and I'll come back down for the others?" Picking up as much as they could carry, Alex led them over to the lift in the corner and pressed for the top floor. Piper looked at Alex with raised eyebrows. "Are you joking me?"

"Well, I could let you try every floor on the way up, but you'd be trying my keys in a lot of locks and my neighbours are pretty hot on calling the cops for attempted break ins I think."

Piper looked at how many floors she would be trying and there were 14 floors beneath the button marked 'P' that Alex had pressed. They arrived on the top floor and Alex stepped out and led them down a short hallway with polished wooden floors before they stopped at her front door while she dropped the bags to find her keys. Opening the door, she stepped aside to let Piper in while she picked up the bags again to come inside.

The floors were a gorgeous polished cherry wood that led straight into an open plan living area where there was a large l-shaped sofa made of brown leather and facing a large wall-mounted TV screen. The wall opposite the front door was filled from floor to ceiling with fitted book shelves that were fully stocked with books. It was like something that belonged in the City library. The walls were a plum colour with floor to ceiling windows on either side of the TV screen and Piper wandered over towards them as Alex took the bags through to the kitchen. She stood gazing out of the windows at the fantastic view of the city lit up at night, still holding the shopping bags.

"Fuck Alex, this is amazing!"

Alex walked over to take the bags off her and walked to the kitchen with them as she replied. "Yeah, the views are pretty special aren't they?"

Piper tried to work out what buildings she could see in the famous city skyline as Alex shouted that she was going to get the rest of the bags and to make herself at home. She didn't need to be asked twice to look around. The lounge and kitchen were separated by a long breakfast bar that was as big as Piper's whole kitchen and on the other side of it were rows of black gloss units and black appliances everywhere (of course). There were brushed copper lightshades hanging from the ceiling over the breakfast bar and 4 tall bar stools around the lounge side. Piper was running her hand along the granite tops as Alex came back in with the last of the bags under her arms and kicked the door shut as she struggled to the kitchen with them.

"You want a drink Pipes? There's juice in the fridge door, ice in the dispenser at the front if you want it or I can make you a coffee if you want something hot?"

"Your apartment is hot….God, I'm embarrassed I even suggested my place for Christmas dinner after seeing this." Piper opened the door of the fridge and got a carton of juice out before realising there were no handles on the doors of the units to find where the glasses were stored.

"Piper, your apartment would have been just fine. It's about the company, not the location. You have to press the top left corner to open and close the doors. Glasses are in the unit above your head." Alex put the groceries away quickly and took her coat off.

"Are you staying?" She nodded towards the fact Piper was still wearing her coat and hat and held her hand out to take them.

"I don't know. I feel like I might contaminate the place now."

Alex rolled her eyes and walked to hang her things up next to the door as Piper was impressed by the touch technology of opening and closing the doors for a moment until she remembered to get the glass she was looking for.

"OK, I can do some fajitas if you're hungry now. Do you want to eat?"

"Mmm, fajitas sound great. I'll put these decorations up while you cook then. I don't think this little armful of tinsel is going to look like much in this massive space, but I'll see how far I can stretch it."

Alex flicked the TV on and put the music channel on in the background as she got the pans out and started to fix them something to eat. Piper put the little tree up on a table in front of the TV and hung the fairy lights around the bookshelves, getting distracted as she read the titles along the spines.

"Are you OK to eat in here or would you prefer to sit at the dining table?" Alex asked as she finished up.

"I don't even see a dining table…There's more?!"

"Through there." Alex gestured towards the doorway at the end of the bookshelves.

"In here is fine. You still need to give me the tour I guess."

They sat to eat on the bar stools and Piper took her meds with her food. Alex opened a bottle of the red wine they just bought and poured a half glass to drink with the meal.

"So, how long have you had NY Logistics? How did you decide to get into that?"

"Well, I've probably had it for a couple of years now I guess. It's not like I haven't had plenty of practice at moving goods around before that though, right? It's just this way was within the limits of the law." She took another bite of her fajita and chewed it, anticipating more questions from Piper about this particular subject.

"And how long have you known Nicky? Did you know her before she came to work for you?"

"Nicky was the first person who came to work for me pretty much as soon as I opened for business actually, so 2 years there as well. She came for an interview to be one of the delivery drivers but I soon caught on to the fact she didn't have a licence. I liked her swagger though, she had the balls to apply for something she didn't know the first thing about so I got her doing the phones instead and the rest is history. She's been a good friend to me and I know I can call on her in shitty times and she won't bail on me."

"Like I would." Piper added simply.

"I wasn't meaning that."

"I know you weren't. But I did. It's a fact. I bailed on you when your Mom died, like the shittiest of times to bail on the love of your life and I did it." Alex didn't say anything, just picked up her wine glass for another sip.

"I'll never forgive myself for doing that to you Alex. I've spent a very long time reliving that moment and trying to picture that scene with many different endings. My timing couldn't have been any more callous, but my reasons for leaving would have made me leave you sooner or later. I couldn't stay while you were working for Kubra. It consumed you. I'm sorry." Piper looked at Alex, waiting for her to respond – say she didn't accept her apology, call her out for not being able to deal with Alex's job, anything.

"I know. And if you hadn't left, it would have got worse. It would have carried on and I would have gotten in deeper. You leaving me stuck on that job in Paris could have gotten me killed. Ironically, Kubra found a heart and decided not to kill me because of my Mom. It has always stuck in my throat that you never understood the damage you caused me by leaving, what could have happened to me. I was a wreck Piper, unrecognisable." Alex drained her glass and stood to pour another, taking her time with her back to the blonde.

Piper stood and put her arms around her waist, kissing her shoulder. "It's OK Alex. Tell me now. I'm here. Maybe I need to hear it."

The taller woman turned and looked into her blue eyes. "I think we should talk about it, but it's a bit depressing for Christmas Eve. I was thinking more hot chocolate with marshmallows and snuggles on the sofa for tonight if that's OK with you?" Alex swiped a strand of blonde hair behind Piper's ear and smiled.

"Yes, that's a very good point. And it means I can join in with the drinking games too." She turned to start clearing away the plates into the high-tech dishwasher.

"Mmm, Alex that was amazing. Thanks. Do you need a hand preparing anything for tomorrow? We could do the veggies tonight to save time in the morning. I feel bad you're having to rush around after us when you had a quiet one planned with Nicky. Let me help a bit will you?"

"Pipes it's fine, honestly. We can do it in the morning. I thought you'd rather have that tour I owe you?" She went to help Piper load the machine before setting it away to wash everything.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot I haven't seen the rest of your sprawling palace yet."

"Well, this here is the dining room."

Alex gestured for Piper to walk in front of her past the bookshelves and into the dining room. There was a large antique oak dining table surrounded by tall backed chairs that matched, padded with red velvet cushioning on the seat and backs. A long copper light fitting hung over the centre of the table that matched the kitchen and there was a smaller sofa at the end of the room, directly positioned in front of another large window overlooking the city. It looked like a cosy place to sit after a dinner party and Piper noticed there were no drapes.

"I'm looking for something to hang on the walls in here, but haven't found anything I like at the moment. Through here is the utility room with the washer, dryer and all that…" Alex started to walk further down the open corridor that ran between the dining room and utility, stopping the doorway at the far end and beckoning Piper through.

"Then we have the bathroom and bedroom." Piper walked through to see a door on the right leading to a large sand-coloured travertine marble wet room style bathroom with a large shower, white roll-top bath, double sinks and toilet barely using half the space available in there. To the left, the bedroom was simple with walk-in wardrobes, a large King bed with plush red duvet and pillows, cream walls and another large window with a view.

"Wow Alex, it's really nice. Everything is really nice. You've…done really well for yourself." Piper felt a bit self-conscious seeing all of these opulently decorated rooms, running out of superlatives to explain how blown away she was and thinking Alex must have been cringing when she spent the night on her sofa a few days ago. She also knew Alex wouldn't be fishing for compliments. She decorated nicely because she liked nice things, she always did and she wasn't showing Piper around the place to show off or make her feel small about her own meagre apartment.

"Thanks. It's the views that make it really. It doesn't feel as homely as yours, but I've never really been one for 'homely', more 'practical' low maintenance is my style I suppose." She chuckled as she walked back down the hallway towards the kitchen.

"So, do you want a hot chocolate and we can sit on the sofa watching the snow?"

"Mmm, sounds dreamy. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, can you put the electric fire on in the dining room? It's on the wall on the left side of the window." Alex shouted over her shoulder.

Piper turned the fire on and was delighted by the 'real flames' flickering over the screen as though it was an actual fire burning. She was stood looking out over the city as Alex returned with their drinks.

"The snow makes it look so pretty with all the twinkling lights doesn't it?" Piper mused as she took her mug from Alex. "Thanks."

"Yeah, I figured we'd just lie on the sofa in here and watch it in front of the fire if that's Ok with you? Life in the fast lane got a little slower since I went legit." She laughed and sat back onto the sofa with her arm resting over the top for Piper to join her. Putting her mug down on the floor next to Alex's, Piper scooched Alex over to snuggle in beside her as they lay down to watch the snow fall over the city.

"This is perfect. I couldn't have dreamed of a better way to spend Christmas Eve than like this with you Al. I wish we could have done Christmas together like this before." Piper was still looking out of the window as she was talking, but Alex was propped up on her elbow and could see the reflection of the fire in Piper's eyes as they lay talking.

"I'm glad we found each other again to be able to try it Pipes. Having you here with me is already making it a pretty great Christmas in my eyes."

"When did you become such a sap? Where is my Alex and what have you done with her?" Piper leaned up and pecked her on the lips quickly.

"Your Alex? Oh, she's _your_ Alex now? When did she agree to that exactly?"

Piper blushed and was about to gloss over it with a joke when she looked up at Alex grinning down at her.

"You've always been my Alex. You always will be." Piper reached up and brushed the brunette's hair behind her ear and away from her face as she looked at her intently.

Alex adjusted her body so that Piper was almost beneath her now and moved her glasses up into her hair as she leaned down to kiss her. The brunette's lips softly grazed Piper's as she moved them across from side to side while still looking at Piper. Her lips were slightly parted and Piper could feel her hot breath melding with her own as her own lips separated to encourage Alex closer still. They looked into each other's eyes as their lips teased and danced over each other and Alex gently sucked at Piper's lower lip, running the tip of her tongue along it as she watched the cerulean eyes in front of her close briefly at the contact. Alex pulled at her lower lip before releasing it slowly and moving back slightly from Piper. The blonde immediately leaned up further to try and recapture Alex's lips with her own, but Alex backed off more, chuckling softly as she ducked her head back down to lick along the blondes mouth again. Before Alex could back off to tease her again, Piper pushed her hand into the back of Alex's hair and pulled her neck to keep her pressed against her lips. Here, Piper glided her tongue over Alex's lips more forcefully and gently nipped at her plump lips with the edges of her teeth. Now Alex's eyes closed and she let out a small whimper as Piper moved her tongue past her lips and into the hotness of Alex's mouth. Piper smiled slightly as the noise Alex had made and bit down on Alex's lip softly again before moving away from her mouth and breaking the kiss. Alex opened her eyes and moved towards Piper, speaking against her parted lips and into her mouth as she grinned.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I was just going to drink my hot chocolate and watch the snow. You know, snuggling, like you said."

"Oooh. Right. Let me help you then…"

Alex sat up and climbed over Piper before leaning down to pick up their mugs and put them on a table near the window with her glasses before putting her hand out to pull a perplexed Piper up from the sofa.

"I thought we were snuggling?"

"We're just getting comfy, with our hot chocolate and watching the snow."

"But-"

Alex put her finger to Piper's lips and then leaned in, pressing her against the wall as she kissed her on the mouth with much more urgency than before. Alex pushed her tongue inside her mouth and slid it against Piper's, who was equally determined to taste Alex's mouth. After a couple of seconds, she pulled away and picked up her hot chocolate. Before Piper could protest, Alex turned back around and kissed her again, her mouth full of half-melted marshmallow now. Piper moaned at the unexpected and deliciously sticky kiss they were sharing. Tongues were roaming everywhere, lapping at the sweetness of the marshmallow and wanting to taste as much of each other as they could.

Piper's hands moved over the top of Alex's shirt to her swollen breasts and kneaded them slowly, causing Alex to moan into her mouth and push herself harder against Piper. She was not feeling her nipples straining against the material as much as she'd like so she decided that Alex needed to lose the top layer and shimmied her hands down to the bottom of the shirt to grasp it and start lifting it up slowly as they continued their kissing at a more languid pace. Once it was bunched to beneath her collarbone, Alex lifted her arms and broke the kiss for Piper to remove it over her head. Her brunette hair fell back over her now bare shoulders as it revealed a white tank underneath. Piper's hands and gaze immediately found their way back to Alex's breasts as she trailed her fingers up the sides of Alex's torso and deliberately let them linger at the sides of her breasts. The contact was gentle, fleeting and not nearly enough to satisfy the need that was growing inside of the brunette woman by now. She reached out to take the hem of Piper's hoodie and pulled it up in one swift motion as Piper immediately raised her arms to lose another barrier between them. Alex brought Piper's mug of hot chocolate to her lips and the blonde sucked another marshmallow into her luscious pink mouth under Alex's watchful gaze. The taller woman put the mug back down. Never breaking eye contact with Piper and turned to put her lips back against the blonde's as she slid her fingers beneath the white t-shirt that was covering her wonderfully toned stomach muscles. Piper did not push the marshmallow into Alex's mouth, but opened her own mouth up for Alex to come and get it with her own tongue as they kissed. Alex spread her fingers out underneath Pier's shirt and ran them along her toned stomach as Piper pulled Alex closer by her hips.

Alex moved her left leg between Piper's and pushed their hips together, her thigh pressing between Piper's legs deliciously now. Piper bit her lip at the sheer pleasure of the contact and Alex watched her eyes close over and felt her move a little over the top of her thigh. She pressed her thigh higher still to increase that pressure between Piper's legs and felt the blonde repeat the motion.

Piper could feel the desire pooling between her legs and Alex's thigh was providing some much needed relief, but not in the way she really wanted. She squeezed Alex's breasts over the top of her tank, feeling her nipples respond to the touch and strain against what was still far too much material. The blonde pressed her hands against the tank at Alex's hips and moved her hands roughly over the top of her abdomen and around her back, bunching the material up higher and higher as her touch became more forceful and urgent. When the tank was bunched up high enough to reveal Alex's lacy cream bra, Alex lifted her arms expecting Piper to remove the top over her head. Instead, Piper ran her hands over the top of her nipples, feeling them straining for release against the thin fabric. She leaned forward and licked her breasts over the top of the lace, wetting it enough that the material became cold against Alex's wonderfully hardened nipples and she felt Alex pushing her breasts closer to Piper's face, wanting her to lick and lap at them more. The blonde blew across the fabric of the bra, much to Alex's immense frustration and she started to drop her arms when Piper lifted them back up and switched their positions so Alex was against the wall with her arms in the air and her tank bunched above her breasts. Piper slowly pulled the cups of both breast down and lifted Alex's breasts over them, so they were being restrained by the bra still, but the nipples were free and fully available to Piper's waiting mouth. She lifted the tank as far as Alex's wrists, kissing her forcefully as she did, before pulling back.

"Hold it there."

She turned to pick up the hot chocolate with another marshmallow in her lips and she kept eye contact with Alex as those darkened green eyes waited for her to return to her wanting mouth. She put her hands around Alex's hips and dropped her mouth to trail her open mouth and the melted marshmallow over Alex's nipples and across her breasts until there was sticky marshmallow all over her now heaving chest. Alex's eyes were closed tightly and her breathing was laboured through her parted lips.

"Come here Al and put your hands up against the window. I've made quite a mess here and I'll have to clean it up, but I want you to keep your eyes open. You don't want to miss the snow while I'm having my hot chocolate do you?" Piper whispered into her ear as she guided her to lean forward slightly against the window while Piper got on her knees to lap Alex's breasts with her flattened tongue. Alex was unable to utter anything resembling a word at this point. She could feel how wet her sex was and it was becoming an unbearable itch that needed to be attended to.

"Fuck…..Piper….."

Piper could sense her arousal and used her hands to part Alex's jean-clad legs while she was teasing her nipple with her teeth. She ran the back of her hand along the seam between her legs and Alex tried to get more contact by pushing down against her. Piper chuckled and blew air over Alex's breasts now. She moved her hands up the brunette's thighs and reached the waist of her jeans now, where she found the buttons and began to unfasten them one at a time before pushing her hands down the sides to loosen them from Alex's hips and help her shimmy out of them.

The blonde stood up now and took Alex's hands away from the glass, taking her in as she stood in front of her in only her cream bra and matching lace panties. She leaned in to give her a searing kiss, with Alex reciprocating just as forcefully now.

"Are you wet for me Alex?" The blonde breathed into her mouth.

"You know I am. Why don't you find out?" Alex hissed into her ear, her voice thick with lust and longing to feel Piper against her wet sex in any way she could now. She took Piper's hand and started to move it towards her hot core. Piper smiled against Alex's lips and felt Alex pushing her fingertips beneath the band of her panties. Alex pushed Piper's fingers down over the closely trimmed pubic hair that was already damp and towards the folds of her sex.

Piper watched as Alex's eyes rolled back in her head and her mouth opened further before she leaned into her ear and asked "What would you like me to do now Alex?"

Alex moved her hand over Piper's inside her panties. "Fuck me. Please Piper. I need you to fuck me."

"Lean your back against the window and close your eyes…..Now spread your legs for me…..Wider….I want you to open up for me baby…Good…Now put your hand inside your panties and show me how wet you are….." Alex moved her hand down across her breasts, down over her stomach and beneath the waistband of her panties, where Piper gasped seeing her fingers moving beneath the cream lace, slipping in and out of her folds.

"Uh-uh. No pleasing yourself Alex. That's my job…..I want to see those fingers now….are they covered in your juices? Let me taste them baby." Piper lifted Alex's hand and brought her fingers to her mouth. The familiar smell and taste of Alex had her stomach doing somersaults and the arousal between her legs multiplied.

"Mmmmmm, you make me so hungry for you." She spoke against Alex's neck and palmed her right breast as she slipped her hand down to thread her finger through the front of the panties from one side to the other and lift them away from Alex's sex, running her finger down the front of her pubic hair and then along the crotch of the panties to stroke the underside of Alex's folds with the top of her finger all the way down to her ass and back up again. She pulled them tightly up, parting Alex's folds and pressing the material against her clit and rubbing it.

"P…Piper…I need you….please….I can't…"

"Shhhhh. Spread your legs open for me baby and keep your eyes closed." Piper knelt on the floor and moved the panties to the side before blowing air over Alex's sex and inhaling her musky scent deeply. "Mmm Al, you are good enough to eat. I want to taste what you taste like but I didn't finish the hot chocolate you made me yet…"

"Fuck the hot chocol-" Alex jumped as she felt Piper smear something warm and gooey over her panties and crotch before working her fingers back and forth in her folds.

"FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCKKKKK Piper!" Alex banged the back of her head on the window and pressed her hands into Piper's hair in front of her sex.

Piper repeated the motion of stretching the material of Alex's panties up to part her folds and rubbed her chocolately clit through the sweet fabric of the panties. Piper leaned in and licked the chocolate on and around the panties, sucking the juices through the lace. She moved the material to the side before working her long fingers back and forth again, smearing strawberry marshmallow all over her pussy then dipping first one then two fingertips just inside her sticky hole, leaving Alex panting above her.

"Please Piper. Fuck me….. Now…I need you inside me."

Piper pressed two fingers inside Alex and twisted them slowly up to the hilt before withdrawing equally slowly. She repeated the motion, a little harder this time and she felt Alex's body responding to the thrusts she was now giving her. She pushed Alex's legs back to keep them open as wide as she could so she had enough room to thrust deeply.

"Do you like that baby? I think you could take one more, don't you?"

Alex bit her lip and nodded, so Piper added a third finger and twisted them in more slowly this time, allowing Alex to get used to the stretch. "Mmmmm that's it baby. You look so hot being fucked by my chocolatey fingers in your little cream panties. I'm gonna make you feel so good and you're going to be so full of chocolatey pussy juice that it will be running out of you while you're eating dinner in here with guests tomorrow." Piper increased the tempo of her thrusting a little and got into a steady rhythm before she leaned in to run her tongue along Alex's slit and up to her quivering clit. Nudging it gently with her tongue, she flicked it from side to side and flattened her tongue to make another long, sweeping motion through her folds again.

The brunette was panting and moaning above her, twisting her fingers into Piper's hair and willing her to carry on. Piper could sense she was desperate for release from the state of arousal she had been in for so long. She thrust her fingers harder and deeper a few times to bring Alex right to the edge of the precipice and began curling her fingers towards her every couple of thrusts, touching on the spongy nerves just enough to keep Alex on the edge a little longer. She swirled her tongue around her clit with more firmness than before and put her lips around it to gently suck on it as she felt Alex's muscles start to clench around her fingers.

"I'm cuming...fuck...right there...I'm cumming...don't fucking...stop..."

She used her other hand to keep Alex's legs apart as much as she could until she felt her orgasm taking over, when she licked her until the spasms in her pussy started to subside a little and Alex's legs couldn't hold her up anymore.

"I've got you baby. Come here. I've got you." Piper sat on the floor, leaning against the wall and pulling Alex down into her lap as she calmed down from her high. She wrapped her arms around her and kissed her head and face as Alex regulated her breathing again and they both gazed out at the snow covered streets beneath them, the brunette leaned against the crook of Piper's neck.

Who knew hot chocolate, snow and snuggling could be so hot?


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Thanks for everyone's reviews, especially the regulars. You push me to keep writing - slave drivers! ;-)** **Firefrog - yes, we will find out more about Alex and the cartel in time. For now, we look at the after effects of the hot make-out session and Christmas Day. Will it be hearts and flowers for Vauseman today? Read on...**

Alex laid against Piper's chest, watching the snow fall steadily outside. Her body was still aflame from Piper's touch and her heart was still thumping from the orgasm that she'd just had. She was used to being the one to take control and dictate the pace and the course of their lovemaking and never had she seen Piper take control like that before. Yes, Piper had grown in confidence during the course of their relationship and had taken charge sometimes, but that was really Alex allowing her to do that. It was almost tongue in cheek that Alex would pretend to relinquish control, and Piper had never done anything like that before with her. It made Alex wonder where Piper had gained this sudden confidence and dominance from since they parted all those years ago. Had she been seeing someone else who had changed her attitude to sex? The thought made Alex's stomach churn, but she was certain Piper wouldn't have been celibate for 4 years, certainly Alex hadn't.

She had been expecting, no planning, a slow seduction of Piper when the time came for them to be together. She had wanted to take her time, re-mapping every part of the blonde woman's body with her own, remembering every touch and taste sensation as they discovered one another all over again. Her body had surrendered to Piper immediately, both with the surprise of Piper taking charge and also because she was overcome with the need to feel Piper touch her. It overpowered every other feeling she had to take things slowly and she had greedily lapped up Piper's attentions, even now needing more. But Piper seemed content to sit and hold her by the window and Alex was enjoying the closeness of being nearly naked in Piper's arms while the blonde sat still fully clothed barring her hoodie. It was a vulnerability that Alex wasn't used to, and it felt strange that their roles had seemingly been reversed right now. She was suddenly aware of how exposed she had allowed herself to be with Piper, forgetting to be cautious with the woman who broke her heart and allowing her to take control over her body so willingly. She had never done that before and a sense of panic started to rise inside her as she fought to calm herself.

Piper kissed her hair, stroking her fingers up and down the brunette's back and inhaling the scent that was uniquely Alex. Feeling her shiver beneath her fingers, Piper leaned over to pick up Alex's shirt to drape it over her shoulders.

"You OK Al? Are you getting cold?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna take a shower though." She started to stand up and kissed Piper on the forehead quickly before walking to the bathroom and closing the door behind her. She ran the water while stripping out of her chocolate covered underwear. Smiling to herself as she remembered how hot it had been to have Piper doing that to her, she felt her stomach flip. It had been sexy as Hell, but maybe a bit soon in their reconciliation for Alex to relinquish control. Alex had been caring for Piper and being in charge of things ever since they found each other again, so this was new territory for both of them.

She got under the hot water and started to wash her body of the stickiness from earlier. It had been hot as Hell, but it was a version of Piper that she had never seen before and she couldn't help but wonder where this version came from and if the old Piper still co-existed.

XXXXX

Piper got up off the floor and gathered the clothes up from around the room, putting them at the end of the dining table and looking down the corridor to see that Alex had closed the bathroom door while she showered. She considered following her in there, taking off her clothes and joining Alex under the water. It was something that they had done many times before and Piper yearned to feel their skin touching again, but she sensed that Alex had closed the door for a reason and resigned herself to tidy up the dining room and wash the mugs in the sink. She took her last meds of the night and put her gifts around the little Christmas tree in the lounge. She was leaning against the bookshelf in the dark, looking out of the lounge window when Alex came back through. She was wearing some grey sweatpants and a black camisole top and towelling her hair when Piper turned to see her in the light from the hallway.

"Well, it's getting kinda late and we've got a lot to do tomorrow. We should probably call it a night I think." Alex said while emptying the dishwasher with her back to Piper.

"Um, yeah. I guess…..Is it OK if I take a shower first?"

"Sure, towels are in the rack next to the door as you walk in. Just help yourself." Alex waved towards the bathroom and carried on putting the dishes away.

"Right."

Piper picked up her overnight bag and walked to the bedroom with it to get her things out before heading towards the bathroom. She looked down the corridor to find Alex busily tidying up in the kitchen still and headed into the bathroom, closing the door.

XXXXX

Alex heard the door close and stood with her arms leaning onto the breakfast bar, closing her eyes and lifting her glasses into her hair. Fuck. Too much and too fucking soon. Now it was back to awkwardness and she didn't know whether to give Piper the option of sleeping in the guest room alone so they gave each other some space again. Was that worse than sleeping together in the same bed? How can she be walking on eggshells around someone who just did _that_ to her?

She was about to turn the lights off in the kitchen when she noticed the gifts under the Christmas tree. Alex smiled at the prospect of waking on Christmas Day with an excited Piper. The first time they had spent Christmas Day together ever, and she decided that they had to get over the awkwardness tonight so tomorrow could be special for her. Alex put the clothes they had both been wearing into the wash, hopefully the chocolate would come out of her cream underwear but at least it would have been ruined by some awesome sex if it didn't she chuckled to herself. She had put her own gifts under the tree when Piper came out of the bathroom and went straight into the bedroom at the end of the hallway. She turned off the fire and the lights, making sure the door was locked before walking to the doorway. She leaned against the door frame as Piper turned the covers back and climbed into the bed wearing silky red boy shorts and a matching camisole top. She matched the bed covers beautifully thought Alex.

"You know, you can sleep in the spare room if you want. You don't have to share with me..., I just thought-"

"Oh. Sorry Alex. I didn't…I thought this was...Sorry, I didn't realise you had a spare room. I'll get my stuff. Yeah, spare room is great, thanks." Piper was already up and out of the bed, gathering her things from the room before she stopped rambling long enough for Alex to get a word in.

Alex took her by the shoulders to stop her from shuffling out of the room and waited for Piper to meet her eyes.

"Pipes. This is the spare room. You're in it already-"

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Piper turned to start heading back into the room with her things, blushing at the confusion as she though there was only one bedroom. She'd been foolish to assume that they might be sleeping in the same bed after what happened earlier and now she didn't know where the fuck she was supposed to put her stuff and sleep.

Alex followed behind her and put her hands on Piper's hips as she spoke from behind her.

"I'm saying I want you to sleep with me, in my room. In my bed….With me. If you want that too?" She moved her arms to circle Piper's waist and kissed her neck. "My room is upstairs."

"But you can sleep in here, if that is what you want. I'm just glad you're staying and I get to see you on Christmas morning." She kissed Piper's cheek now before releasing her and walking to the door.

Piper seemed to be thinking about it some and Alex couldn't help but feel a little hurt by Piper not being sure about them sleeping in the same bed, but she didn't want to push anything.

"Goodnight Pipes." She smiled as Piper turned to her and walked to the door that led to her room.

"Night Alex."

XXXXX

Piper sat for a long time considering whether she should just go and find Alex, but she was already exhausted from a busy day and actually she really wanted to sleep. She wanted to lie with Alex, but she might want to talk or have sex again and Piper thought it best that they just get a good night's sleep. She crawled into the guest bed and turned the light out, waiting only seconds before falling into a deep sleep.

XXXXX

The brunette had walked to the door to the stairway very slowly, hoping Piper would make a decision to join her and they could walk together. When she heard no movement from the guest room, she decided to open the door and go to her room. Piper would find it if she wanted to she figured. She took off her sweatpants and placed her glasses by the bed before climbing into the black satin sheets and staring up at the glass ceiling. She lay for a long time, half in hope that Piper might join her before finally falling asleep in the early hours of the morning.

XXXXX

Alex's alarm went off at 7am so she could get up and make a start with the preparations for the day. She got ready and pulled on some sweatpants and a Rolling Stones t-shirt before walking downstairs and putting some coffee on. She made some boiled eggs and toast soldiers, putting them on a tray with the coffee and made her way towards the guest bedroom. Nudging the door open with her hip, she had enough light to put the tray on the bottom of the bed. She could see that Piper was still laid on her front in the middle of the bed, clutching the pillow as she snored softly. Alex leaned over and kissed her forehead to see if she would wake, but there was no movement from beneath the sheets. She couldn't resist lying on the bed next to her to watch her sleep for a few moments, her face on the pillow next to Piper's.

They were both startled when Piper's phone started ringing by the bed, Piper waking up and wondering where on earth she was and shocked to find Alex on the pillow next to her. The phone rang a couple more times as she tried to get her bearings before stopping.

"Good Morning." Alex smiled at her as she stroked her hair away from the confused blonde's face.

"Hey, good morning yourself." Piper smiled back before leaning over to kiss Alex on the lips.

"I brought you breakfast." Alex got up to bring the tray to Piper and laid it down when Piper had adjusted herself to sit up against the pillows. "Merry Christmas." She leaned down and kissed Piper more slowly this time, lingering as long as she could lean over the tray without crashing into it.

"Mmmmm. Merry Christmas to me! Thanks Alex, this is really nice." Piper beamed as she set about taking the top off her egg. Alex had drawn a little Santa face on the front of it as it sat in the egg cup and she was slicing his Santa hat off with her spoon."Awwwww, I almost don't want to eat him now! He's so cute!"

Alex laughed and sipped her coffee, before standing up to leave. "I just need to put the turkey in and it can be cooking while we relax for a bit before all the mayhem starts." She smiled and left Piper eating her breakfast.

Piper reached over for her phone and saw it was Polly calling her. She pressed to return the call and took a slurp of coffee as she waited for her to pick up.

"Merry Christmas P! I hope you're already up and slaving over a hot stove for me?"

"Hey, Merry Christmas Pol! I'm going to do that soon. Alex just brought me breakfast so I'm having that first and then I promise I will commence my maid duties."

"Good. The pressure is on now. How did it go last night? You and SuperCunt get any sleep last night?" Piper could hear Polly sniggering on the end of the line.

"Yes we did actually. Her place is totally amazing Pol, it's really nice. I need to text you the address yet don't I?"

"Unless I'm supposed to follow a breadcrumb trail to a gingerbread house?"

"Alright, I'll do that when we hang up. Have you opened your presents yet?"

"No. Pete is making us some breakfast first and I'm not allowed to help. So I'm expecting him back from McDonalds any second. What time shall we come over?"

"Let me ask Alex, hang on." She shouted through to Alex and came back to the phone. "Any time after 12 is fine. We're not eating until 2pm, so have a good breakfast. See you soon!"

"OK, see you in a bit. Bye."

Piper finished her breakfast and was just setting the tray aside when Alex came back.

"You want another coffee? The turkey is in now, so we can take our time with the veggies."

"Another coffee would be great thanks. Can you text Polly your address please? Here, use my phone." Piper got up and took her tray out to the kitchen before coming back into the bedroom and putting her arms around Alex as she finished the text.

"That was the best Christmas Day wake up ever, thank you." She kissed Alex on the cheek before leaning into a tight hug. Alex hugged her back a little less tightly because of Piper's ribs.

"You're welcome." She leaned back and caressed Piper's sides, ruffling up the silky camisole top. "I can think of a way it could be better…." Alex leaned in to gently kiss Piper's collarbone.

"Oh really? And…how is that then?" Piper leaned her head to the side, giving Alex better access to continue kissing up her neck and towards her ear.

"Well, I haven't eaten my breakfast yet…..so I'm pretty ravenous to be honest…" She sucked gently at Piper's neck now. "I was wondering if there was anything I could eat…" She gently licked around Piper's ear now. "….in here….." She moved her hands over the top of the red camisole and up to squeeze Piper's breasts in her palms. "I'd really…..really….like to see the menu…." Piper moaned as Alex moved her fingers roughly over her nipple. "….and see what…..on offer….." Alex moved her mouth over Piper's open lips now and pushed her tongue inside to taste her mouth. Piper sucked at her tongue and drew her in closer, their mouths crashing together breathlessly. Alex began to snake her hands beneath Piper's top.

Piper stopped her hands and broke the kiss suddenly.

"Well, you're in the wrong room for breakfast. You need to be in the kitchen. "Piper began to turn Alex around and push her towards the door. Just before whispering in her ear "Nobody is opening presents until later, so no unwrapping yours until I tell you to."

With that, she got washed and dressed into a pair of skinny blue jeans and a grey t-shirt and tied her hair up into a high pony tail before going out into the kitchen to see Alex.

"Aw, the tree looks so cute with all the presents around it! Can I give you a hand with anything here?" She kissed Alex on the cheek as she started to peel the veg that was on the chopping board.

"If you can peel and chop everything on there for me, I'm going to mash these and roast the potatoes later. If we prepare it now, there'll be less to do when Nicky and Polly get here."

"Yep, leave it with me. What time is Nicky coming?"

"Don't know. She'll be late no matter what time I tell her, so I told her we were eating at 1, let's see what time she gets up."

They worked together and the preparation was done in no time, the veg all ready for cooking later today. Piper called her parents to wish them Merry Christmas while Alex laid the table and the brunette could overhear part of the call as she went between the rooms to get the cutlery and napkins.

"….Oh good…Yeah…Polly is just getting everything ready now…..We'll be eating later this afternoon I think….yeah just a quiet one…just the three of us…." Piper glanced up and saw Alex looking back at her with a raised eyebrow. She turned away, as if facing the opposite wall would make her conversation unheard."…. Well have a nice day and I'll see you next week with your presents…..OK, Bye."

She walked into the dining room after Alex.

"Sorry. I can't tell them I'm spending Christmas with you, they'd flip."

"Of course. I'm the invisible woman after all." Alex said curtly.

"Don't be like that. You know it's difficult with my parents." Piper walked to her and stroked her arms, trying to reason with her to avoid this argument right now.

"Like what Piper? Do they know I've been looking after you this last week or do they think somehow Polly cloned herself to look after you at the same time as running the store?" Alex faced her now, arms crossed over her chest as she spoke.

Piper looked away. "No, I guess they do think Polly is managing it on her own. But is there any point in telling them otherwise? They'll only come over here and drag me back home…..If I'm lucky."

"If you're lucky?! What the fuck does that mean?" Alex was annoyed that Piper was still pretending she didn't exist to her parents after all this time.

"It doesn't matter. Forget I said anything will you." Piper waved her hand and started to walk to the kitchen. She was determined not to ruin this day and it had started so well with the two of them.

Alex grabbed her wrist on the way past.

"How are we ever going to make a go of things if you don't tell your parents about me, about us Piper?"

"Us Alex? Is there an us? I thought we were just seeing how things went, putting no pressure or labels on it?"

"We are. But I don't understand why you have to constantly lie to your parents about the fact that I even exist!"

Piper whipped her head around, boiling with anger now.

"Because Alex, my parents do know about you! They know you were my girlfriend 4 years ago. They know I travelled all over the world with you. They know I was infatuated with you. They know Alex fucking Vause is the whole reason their Smith grad daughter from a respectable family home went to prison 2 fucking years ago! Believe me Alex, it wasn't the dream introduction I had planned when the police put me in handcuffs!" Piper glared at a dumbfounded Alex for a few seconds before storming off to the bedroom and slamming the door.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: This took a long time to write because it got way too dark and long, so it was threatening to become the most depressing Christmas Day of all time. Soooo...I've split it into a bit of truth sharing, teasing and banter, with the sharing to be continued later. I know this doesn't answer all of your burning questions, but you need to stick with me for the next update. Thanks for taking the time to review guys, I really appreciate hearing your thoughts and the bits you find funny / cute. On with the story!**

About 10 minutes passed before Alex put her ear to the bedroom door to try and work out if she should enter. She couldn't hear anything inside the room, which either meant Piper was sobbing into a pillow or holding onto a ball of rage to shoot at Alex as soon as she opened the door. Time to rip off the band aid. She knocked softly on the door.

"Pipes? Can I come in?"

There was no answer, so she slowly opened the door to find Piper was sitting on the bed and staring out of the window. Sitting next to her, Alex could see she had not been crying but she didn't look as though she was about to murder the brunette either. Either of those scenarios Alex had been prepared for, but this was unexpected.

Alex reached for her hand and Piper moved it away from her without looking.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Piper stared out of the window still, but seemed to be considering her answer, so Alex waited and watched for any change in her expressions and body language. Minutes passed and Piper continued to stare outside, unblinking and in a world of her own. Alex got up to leave and looked down at her, trying one last time.

"If you want to talk, I'll be in the kitchen." She was at the doorway before Piper responded.

"Did you know?" This stopped Alex in her tracks and she closed her eyes with her back to Piper at the doorway.

"Did I know what?"

"Did you know I went to prison for 12 months?" Alex could feel her eyes burning into the back of her head as she hovered in the doorway, afraid to turn around and see Piper's eyes when she replied.

"Yes… I knew."

"How long have you known Alex?" Piper was staring out of the window again when Alex turned to see if she was angry, but her tone was neutral.

"Long enough….Since you were arrested." Piper didn't turn to look at her and Alex stayed in the door threshold, but turned to watch Piper, inhaling slowly and deeply as she steeled herself for whatever was about to unfold. The blonde pulled her knees up under her chin and hugged her legs now.

"I was terrified…When it was a certainty that I would be incarcerated. I never actually believed it would happen when I was arrested…I thought I'd get a slap on the wrist….a formal warning…maybe a fine…community service even." Piper was talking as though Alex wasn't there, staring at the skyline as she spoke.

"You know, I didn't even tell my parents. I paid for my own lawyer because I was so sure it was going to be a telling off. I thought I could deal with it all without anyone ever finding out….That I could take the rap, pay the fine in instalments over the years and never have to mention it to anyone. Like it never happened…. I guess that's exactly what my family would expect…Take the bitter pill and swallow it down with a smile on your face, never missing a luncheon and burying the bodies beneath the rose garden….So not a total disappointment to them after all." Her tone was devoid of humour and her face expressionless as she spoke.

"Eventually I had to tell Polly because my Lawyer told me to plead guilty and take what he thought was the best option…12 months in prison…for moving the proceeds of drug crime across international borders….Not even touching drugs…just the money associated with them."

Alex swallowed hard but didn't say anything, letting Piper talk. She could feel tears welling in her eyes and tried to blink them away before Piper saw them. She clutched the door handle tightly, as though drawing some sort of strength from it to stand and have this conversation.

"They stopped the court proceedings twice on the day of sentencing because I had panic attacks…..The third time it happened, they just had someone stand to hold me up while they carried on talking. I have no idea what was said, I couldn't hear or see anything. I couldn't breathe to concentrate on anything that was happening, despite being in the middle of it. I didn't even understand the legal jargon when my Lawyer was explaining it anyway. I had no idea what I was signing most of the time. All I saw was what seemed to be a nice man telling me what was the best thing to do and I nodded, signing whatever he put in front of me to try and make it all go away."

The brunette's heart was breaking, hearing what Piper went through from her own mouth was harder than she ever imagined it could be. Seeing her innocent and kind Piper in a court room, unable to stand, believing that everyone around her was looking out for her best interests was painful. The Piper Chapman that never passed a charity bucket without emptying her change into it, petted the homeless guy's dog, paying more for fair trade fruit and veg so the farmers got more of her money….she should never have been standing in the dock.

Alex moved cautiously to sit next to Piper on the edge of the bed, desperate to hold her and apologise for the rest of her life at this moment in time, but she kept her limbs in her lap, palms flat against her thighs to keep from reaching out.

"I was allowed to self-surrender and given a week to say my goodbyes before turning myself in for 12 months inside prison walls."

"My first reaction was to get drunk. I tried to drink myself into a coma, repeatedly. But Polly wouldn't let me. She didn't let me out of her sight long enough to do the kind of damage I was looking for."

She turned to look at Alex now as she spoke.

"When I left you, I went to a very dark place…..for a very long time. I used drink as a way to numb myself from the pain of missing you, a way to knock myself out so the days and nights didn't feel as long. I'd started going to AA groups at Polly's insistence about 3 months before the police came to arrest me. I was attending, but I didn't believe in any of it. I was still drinking between sessions."

Alex was shocked by Piper's admission that she had become addicted to alcohol. She had always liked to drink on nights out, but didn't really bother during the week when they were together because she didn't like to feel groggy when she was going for a run in the morning.

"I was drunk when Polly took me to tell my parents I was going to prison. She tried to sober me up with water and coffee, but I was so scared of the disappointment and horror I was about to put them through, I was topping myself up from a small vodka bottle whenever Polly couldn't see me. I'm actually relieved I was drunk when I told them because I wasn't haunted by their disappointed faces every day I woke up behind bars."

"Of course, my parents thought I had been manipulated by an evil lesbian and had been going through a 'phase' when you took advantage of me. My Dad was hurt that I'd lied to him about the real reason for me travelling and they both point blank refused to hear any talk about love. I don't think their drunk and dishevelled blue eyed little girl was in a position to argue a case for you at that point, so you went on the Chapman 'Most Wanted' wall."

Silent tears were running down Alex's face now and she leaned back slightly, hoping to keep out of Piper's line of sight as she talked.

Piper was quiet for a moment, before reaching out to wipe away the tears from Alex's cheek. Alex looked up at her, surprised by the sudden tenderness.

"I'm sorry I ever got you involved Piper. If I could turn back time…"

"I know. But the truth is that I would have done it eventually anyway. I would have done anything for you, followed you anywhere. You were working for a drug cartel when I met you and you told me from our very first conversation, you never deceived me about your business. I knew exactly what I was agreeing to by being with you and you could only keep me away from your work so much. I was complicit by being with you when I knew the truth about your business and turning a blind eye when you took calls was no excuse."

"How can you be so reasonable about it? That was MY work, MY choice to do that for a living and you ended up in prison because of something I chose to be involved in?"

"12 months is a long time to think….And I realised that a lot of people I was serving my sentence alongside were there because they made a bad decision in life. I was lucky compared to some of them. Some of those women will never see freedom because of an impossible decision they made years ago, many because of love too. In the end, I wasn't all that different to them. I started off with more privilege than most, but we are all capable of doing questionable things in the name of love."

The lump in Alex's throat was preventing her from getting any words out now. She couldn't swallow it and she was afraid of what it might become if she let it out. Instead, a steady stream of tears was pouring down her face as she looked at her hands in her lap. She could feel Piper watching her as she tried to control her breathing.

Piper leaned over and hugged her tightly. "It's OK Alex….I'm OK. Listen, though." She leaned back and brought Alex's face up to meet hers.

"As much as it's been good to clear some things up this morning, you're killing my Christmas spirit here. I mean, there's a distinct lack of party hats in this room and I distinctly remember you promised me mistletoe. In fact, your actual words were that you were going to check out my mistletoe. So…you know. Just saying, I've got great expectations this Christmas Day and my Santa eggs were an awesome start….So, we're gonna put this conversation in a 'to be opened later' box and peel some bloody potatoes before we have to dial up a pizza to feed our guests…..OK?" Piper wiped Alex's cheeks before kissing them quickly and standing up, reaching out for Alex's hand.

"Alright, we'll put it in a box for now….But how the Hell do you expect me to stand peeling potatoes with you when all I can think about is your mistletoe?!" She chuckled and took her hand and they walked to the kitchen.

XXXXXX

The veggies didn't take long to prepare and the table was set all ready now for the guests. Piper had the Christmas songs playing on the docking station to ensure they were swamped with Christmas all around them to make up for lost time. They had an hour before Nicky may or may not turn up at 1pm, so it was time to get showered and changed. Alex went upstairs to use the en-suite next to her room, while Piper took a shower in the main bathroom.

Piper was standing under the hot water, feeling a sense of it washing away the heaviness of the history they had shared this morning. She knew it was a bigger conversation than they'd had so far, but there was a risk it would take over the day and she'd been looking forward to celebrating Christmas for the first time in years with people she wanted to spend her time with and not stifled conversations with her mother. Piper had been relieved to see that Alex felt a lot of remorse for getting…well… _letting_ …her get involved in the cartel business and it clearly weighed heavily on her shoulders from what Piper saw. The truth was, Piper had processed a lot of the emotions surrounding that when she went to prison and was much more interested in the future now. She went through the full spectrum of denial, blaming Alex, hating her, wanting revenge, acknowledging her own part in the crime, accepting she made the decisions, feeling hard done by for the punishment that she felt didn't fit the crime, accepting she could do nothing to change it, making the best of her time out in prison and feeling that she had paid her debt and was ready to start with a fresh slate. It happened, she paid the price and she was moving on. But seeing Alex's reaction made her realise that the brunette had not confronted her own emotions about it. She wondered if she had expected Alex to have seen it as a simple business decision, for which Alex hadn't thought twice about since it happened.

She switched off the water and towelled herself down before wrapping a towel around her and walking through to the bedroom to get dressed. She dried her hair and put a few loose curls through it with her irons and tied the back up into a messy bun, leaving a few curls framing her face. Putting on a pair of shiny black trousers that hugged her ass, she chose a white silk blouse with a black stripe down the front of the buttons that looked like a skinny tie with roll-up sleeves. She put on some thick black mascara, light blush and bright red lipstick to finish the look.

Piper was talking to her Grandmother on the phone, with her other hand in her pocket as she leaned against the window frame in the bedroom when Alex came in to see if she was ready. The brunette tapped on the open door to get her attention and Piper turned, raising her eyebrows appreciatively at Alex's attire when she saw her. She was wearing a loose fitting dark blue jumpsuit with a plunging neckline, which left her arms and shoulders bare so that all of her upper body tattoos were visible. Her dark hair was straightened and hung loosely around her neck and onto her collarbone and she had her trademark black eyeliner flicked up at the edges beside her long black eyelashes and shiny pink lip gloss. Alex chuckled and raised her eyebrow over the top of her glasses before turning to leave Piper to finish her call.

There was a knock on the door and Alex went over to open in. Nicky practically knocked her over when she pushed through the door

"Jesus Vause, I'm freezing my tits off out here!"

"Merry Christmas to you too Nic."

"Yeah, yeah, season's greetings and all that." Nicky thrust a hastily wrapped bottle-shaped gift into Alex's hands on her way past and took her coat off, throwing it over the side of the sofa.

"Why thank you Mrs Clause." Alex grinned, shaking the present in her grasp. "You want a drink?"

"Thought you'd never ask. Got any beers?"

Alex put the present next to the little tree with the rest of the gifts and went to the fridge to take out a beer for herself and Nicky.

"Cheers." Alex clinked her bottle to Nicky's and they both took a long drink as they sat together on the sofa.

"So, what time are the others getting here then? I can't believe I'm first…I could have had another hour in bed this morning."

"Um, around 2 I think. I wasn't expecting you to be almost on time actually."

"Well blondie promised me something exciting to unwrap…" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"That I did Miss Nicholls. Merry Christmas!" Piper walked into the room behind them and came over to hug Nicky.

"Merry Christmas indeed! Wow, Chapman you look smoking….I approve of your choice of wrapping paper…" Nicky looked her up and down very obviously and stopped at Piper's boobs, licking her lips before taking another drink from her beer. Piper laughed and went to get herself some iced water from the fridge. Nicky was delighted with the scowl that she got from Alex when Piper's back was turned.

"Looks like I'm not the first one here after all eh stretch?" Nicky chuckled.

"I told you she was staying last night. It was easier."

"Easier? Never figured Piper to be that. You maybe, but not blondie over there. Just so you know though, I would totally let her play the pillow princess with me." She winked as Piper returned to sit with them.

"So Piper, how ya feelin'? Has Vause here been taking good care of you?"

"I'm feeling just fine thanks. Alex has been taking excellent care of me. Hopefully I'll get the all clear next week and I won't need a babysitter anymore. What time did you guys finish at the bar last night? Was it a late one?"

"Ah, we made the most of the pre-paid tab that's for sure. I'm disappointed I'm not more hungover actually, but I'll see what I can do to make up for it today. At least you're not drinking bottled water today are you Vause?"

"Definitely not. I'll need something with a decent alcohol content to put up with you all day."

There was another knock at the door and Piper jumped up to answer it, knowing it would be Polly and Pete.

"Hey! Merry Christmas guys!" Piper hugged Polly tightly and then Pete.

"Come on inside. Did you get through the snow OK?" She stepped back to let them both through the doorway.

"Yeah, the roads are turned to mush already….Oh my God, this place is a fucking mansion SuperCunt!"

"Merry Christmas Molly." Alex stood to take the coats from her guests, picking Nicky's up on the way.

"You must be Pete right?"

"That I am. Nice to meet you er, what did Polly call you?" Pete grinned, knowing fine well what Polly called her. Alex laughed out loud.

"SuperCunt. It's all Polly thinks about when she's near me. I guess it's a lot of wishful thinking on her part. I don't want you thinking about my super cunt though Pete, so just call me Alex." She winked as she went to hang the coats up.

"Do you want a beer Pete or are you driving?"

"Designated driver tonight, so I'll join you with the iced water Piper thanks. Polly here says she's determined to drink all of the expensive wine you promised her, so I hope you've got a few bottles in." He grinned and sat next to Nicky on the sofa.

Polly walked over to see Piper at the fridge, leaving the other three sitting on the sofa now.

"Shit Piper, she must be loaded to live in a place like this. I thought we got the wrong address when we were pulling up to the car park."

"Gorgeous isn't it? You should check out the views from the windows. You can see all across the city skyline from up here."

"How did it go last night?"

"It was OK, nice. I should be asking how your night was anyway. Nice to spend some time with Pete instead of me?"

"It was good to sleep in my own bed I admit. I love you Piper, but I also love sex and you've become a bit of a cock-blocker this last week." Piper laughed loudly.

"Fair point I think. Sorry about that. I like your dress by the way, is that new?"

"It is! Christmas present from Pete, I love it! He was threatening to buy me a barbecue, so I made damned sure he knew how a joke present would go down by pointing this out very specifically as an excellent insurance policy for Christmas morning sex. I held out until I opened everything too."

"Smart. It's gorgeous, really suits you Pol."

"Thanks. What's the plan for tonight? Are you heading back to mine or staying here again?"

"I'll come back to your place. I don't want to outstay my welcome and I'm sure Alex would like some space to think without me hanging around. She put my clothes through the laundry last night, so I have something to change into already."

"Already domesticated her have you? How cute!" Polly teased.

"What's cute?" Alex asked as she came into the kitchen behind them.

"You are, apparently." Piper grinned.

"Is that so?" Alex raised an eyebrow at Polly.

"I didn't mean it that way. Don't get a big head. It was sarcastic. Where is my expensive wine?"

Alex laughed and pointed to the wine bottles in the cooler.

"I'm going to get started on dinner so we can fill everyone up with food before they get to the really expensive stuff. You OK to eat in about a half an hour?"

"Yep, fine with me. I'm starving." Piper poured a large glass of wine for Polly so she could go back to the lounge and turned to see what help Alex needed with dinner.

"Hey, can I help with anything?"

"Hey, yeah can you put the plates in there to warm while I make the cranberry sauce?"

"Sure."

Piper put the plates in the oven and moved behind Alex to whisper in her ear. "You _are_ cute though."

"Oh really." Alex turned and screwed her face up before leaning over to pick up the cranberries.

Piper checked to see if anyone in the lounge was looking over before stroking the skin on Alex's back. She kissed the salt shaker tattoo on her shoulder softly, moving her lips up towards Alex's neck. She trailed her fingers over the bare skin around her shoulders and down to snake just under the material covering Alex's braless breasts. They were facing towards the lounge and both of them were watching their guests as Piper's fingers softly stroked just the side of Alex's left breast as Piper kissed the bottom of her neck now.

"Piper…" Alex turned to raise an eyebrow, warning her to stop.

Alex was stirring the fruit and the sound of the Christmas music was playing in the background as Piper moved her fingertips further inside the front of Alex's top, stroking the underside of her breast so softly.

"Seriously, you'd better stop that." Alex tried to move to the side but Piper pulled her against her front and squeezed her breast now.

"Or what?" Piper breathed into her neck.

Alex closed her eyes briefly and stopped moving the wooden spoon, until Piper stopped and told her to carry on with dinner. As soon as she started with the spoon again, Piper moved her fingers over Alex's nipple so quickly that Alex was straining forwards to try and get more contact. Piper pinched her nipple and rubbed her thumb over it, raising it to a stiff peak before removing her hand completely.

"Does anybody want another drink?" Piper shouted as she took her hand out of Alex's top, drawing everyone's attention to them and causing Alex to quickly turn away with the pan to hide her flustered face.

"Nah we're good thanks P. How long for dinner? Do you want us to do anything or sit at the table maybe?" Polly shouted over.

"Alex? What do you want?" Piper looked at her, turning her back to the group and raising her eyebrow suggestively.

"No, we're good thanks. Should be ready in about 20 mins." She called over to Polly in the lounge before turning to Piper.

"You. Will pay for that." She muttered so only Piper could hear. Piper grinned back at her.

"Mmmm, I hope so." She winked and went back to the group to join their conversation.

Alex finished up cooking and plating the dinner and Piper herded everyone into the dining room to be seated before they ate.

"Wow, the views in here are amazing. No wonder there's a cosy sofa right in front of the windows." Pete was very impressed as they all looked out of the windows.

Alex came in behind them with a bottle of champagne to toast the day before they started and was busy taking the foil off when Nicky piped up.

"Yeah, great views out there. Not that you can see much with your ass cheeks pressed against the glass though. Looks like you need to clean your windows there Vause. I'm just wondering if I can recognise the prints…." She started to step closer to the window as Alex's cheeks changed an amusing colour and Piper struggled to contain a fit of giggles.

"Speaking of asses….can you all sit yours down at the table please and we can be civilised for a while?" Piper decided to rescue Alex from any further embarrassment as she sensed Nicky was just getting started and Polly would be hot on her heels.

"Champagne! Count me in to be seated! I bet this is good stuff…" Polly exclaimed and rushed to take a seat as Alex opened the bottle. Piper walked behind her and leaned in.

"Hadn't expected you to pop your cork so soon… I love to see it spilling over the edge, begging to be licked…Don't you Al?" Piper was already on her way to the kitchen before Alex could reply and she poured out the champagne into all of the glasses, handing them out to everyone as Piper returned having reapplied her lipstick.

"Who wants to toast?" Piper asked as she picked up a half glass.

"I'll do it." Nicky said, picking up her glass.

"To friendship – old, new and the kind that puts your naked ass on glass. Merry Christmas!"


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Hey, hope you're all having a great weekend? Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. It's interesting to hear the differing perspectives on the characters and your reasoning of their actions in the story. I don't want to rush all of the reveals or limit how many chapters or words I deliver them in, but I'm glad the pace is working out about right. Once Piper gets her independence back, things will even up a little more with her and Alex. For now, I'm exploring the change in dynamic between them and how Alex deals with the vulnerability she feels at the hands of Piper.**

They raised their glasses and sipped the champagne before Alex returned to the kitchen to get the plates, Piper helping.

"Can you behave while your friends are here please? It's very distracting." Alex slapped Piper's ass on her way to the counter.

"Not as distracting as seeing your ass cheeks in the window while I eat my dinner. It makes me want to rush to get to dessert. I'm really fancying something chocolatey as it happens…" Piper chuckled as she picked up the plates and went back to the table.

They ate their food and talked animatedly about their worst ever Christmas presents and the presents they never got as children. Piper was a little uncomfortable knowing that Alex's Mum didn't have the money for the fancy gifts that the rest of them had been afforded, but the brunette didn't seem bothered by the conversation and had laughed along with them. They finished the meal and Alex suggested they move back to the lounge to see if anyone was going to get a new 'worst present ever' today while she tidied up.

Piper topped up everyone's drinks and helped Alex to load the dishwasher before they joined everyone on the sofa.

"I think this might be the longest I've ever waited on Christmas Day to open my presents, I'm so excited!" Piper clapped her hands together while eyeing the gifts around the tree. She stood up and passed a gift to Polly and another to Pete and everyone watched them open their gifts. Polly's was a montage photo frame of lots of different photos of her and Piper through the years and Polly gave her a big hug and thanked her for being a total sap. Pete got some speciality beers from around the world, which delighted him.

Alex opened a bottle of good cognac from Nicky and promised to open it later so they could all have a try with her new rotating warming gadget that turned the cognac to warm it to the best temperature to drink.

Piper opened a Gucci purse from Polly and Pete, which was one that Piper had seen in a magazine ages ago, but Polly remembered.

Nicky got a black retro style t-shirt from Piper that had a slogan across the front that read 'Straight? So is spaghetti until it gets wet' which tickled Nicky no end. Alex passed her gifts to Nicky and she found a set of hair straighteners in the first present, then a '101 ways to pleasure a woman' hardback book. Nicky held them both in the air and looked at Alex with her eyebrows raised.

"Are you trying to tell me something Vause? Like you want me to play with your hair like a girly sleepover before guaranteeing you a happy ending?"

"Will you be wearing nothing but your new t-shirt when we have a pillow fight?" Alex spoke in a girly voice and batted her eyelashes.

"Goes without saying. Is blondie joining us?" They both looked over at Piper, batting their eyelashes at the same time.

"Leave me out of your girly sleepovers thanks. There's already far more oestrogen at that party than I can handle."

Piper handed Alex a small box with a ribbon around it. "I hope you like this. I can change it if you don't…." Alex took the box and smiled as she pulled the ribbon off and lifted the lid. Inside was a thick silver curb chain bracelet with a skull & crossbones fastener. Alex lifted it out and asked Piper to put it around her wrist.

"I love it, thank you." She kissed Piper quickly on the cheek before turning it around on her wrist.

"OK, my turn…." Alex pulled out the shoebox sized box she had wrapped and handed it to Piper.

Piper grinned and carefully opened the wrapping paper. Inside was a pair of reindeer mittens that she'd seen at the Christmas market that day and she laughed at Alex remembering them. She lifted them out to find something wrapped in tissue paper beneath. She put the mittens on one side and lifted out what she could now feel was a book and carefully removed the tissue paper. Lifting the last layer of paper, she could see it was a first edition copy of Roald Dahl's 'The BFG' with an original signature on the inside cover.

"Oh my God Alex, this is amazing! How did you even find this?!"

Alex smiled big when Piper came over to hug her and kiss her on the lips in front of everyone.

"Glad you like it Pipes."

"Oh my God, I feel like I should put it in a frame and never take it out." She sat back down next to Alex on the sofa staring at it.

"Books are for reading, not framing. So you'd better read that." Alex smiled.

"Looks like someone's hankering for a bedtime story there blondie….Well, I take your sappy sentiment Vause and I raise you….with one final piece de resistance…..for you Piper Chapman." Nicky interrupted them.

"Wow, thanks Nicky! The biggest present for last….oooh, the anticipation is killing me!"

"Calm your tits blondie. You might find the anticipation is the best bit here." Nicky grinned and passed her a large gift from behind the sofa.

"Aww, thanks Nicky. I wonder what this could be…." Piper carefully peeled the tape off the paper, not tearing it as she unwrapped it. Alex was equally puzzled by Nicky's gift as she's never known her wiry-haired friend give anything other than bottle-shaped gifts.

Inside was a large cuddly grey parrot and Piper laughed loudly as she pulled the paper off the bottom to reveal it was wearing a pair of skimpy red crotchless panties.

"Hahaha! This is awesome Nicky, I love it! Thank you!" She scuttled over to give Nicky a kiss on the cheek and a long hug as Alex watched Nicky waggle her eyebrows over her shoulder and rolled her eyes at the shorter woman.

"You've got to push the button blondie. It talks too." Nicky waved her hand at the parrot. Piper sat back and pressed the belly and nothing happened. She pressed it again and looked at Nicky when it didn't make any noise at all.

"Jesus, I thought you knew how to turn a woman on Chapman?" Nicky raised her eyebrows.

"Er….what?" Piper blushed slightly feeling suddenly like her sexual prowess was under scrutiny from her closest friends for reasons she wasn't entirely sure of.

"She's wearing crotchless panties. Where do you think you need to put your finger to make her open her mouth?"

Alex was shaking with laughter beside her as Piper looked back at Nicky with raised eyebrows.

"Really?"

"Really. Come on blondie, show us your skills."

Piper rolled her eyes and put her fingers through the crotchless panties, feeling around for a button to press.

"Whew! Is it weird that I think this is kinda hot!" Pete was grinning at Polly.

"Yes, it is fucking weird." Polly scowled at him.

"Found it!" Piper grinned as she pressed the button, proud that it didn't take her all that long.

"Mmmmmmmmm….do it again" A low, whispery voice came from the parrot that sounded suspiciously like Nicky's. Alex spat out her beer all over her top. Piper pressed it again.

"Ooooh….baby that feels….sooooo goooood…" Piper raised her eyebrows at Nicky and pressed again.

"Yes, yes, yes, faster….right there…" Polly was wide-eyed and Piper started laughing. Alex was choking on her beer and Pete was grinning like an idiot. Piper put the parrot down, shaking her head.

"Come on Piper, don't leave her hanging like that!" Pete ventured.

"I am not sitting here pleasuring a stuffed parrot to the point of orgasm for your mutual entertainment like some kinky fucking ventriloquist show." Piper was also laughing now, partly at Alex struggling to breathe between coughs as she wiped herself down.

"In case you get lonely Chapman." Nicky winked and stood to get another beer. Alex followed her to get a cloth, still coughing.

"I don't know where the fuck your brain gets these ideas from Nic, but that was epic!" Alex shook her head and hugged her best friend.

"Well, I figured she needed cheering up after the shitty run up to Christmas she's had. She seems to be OK at the moment though, right?" Nicky questioned, looking at Alex for an answer.

"Yeah. I guess. I don't know actually. She's….I don't know….different I guess? We talked this morning about…some serious shit…and she stated it all like facts and said she was over it. The Piper I remember would never have reacted like that. She'd have held a grudge, gone off like a firecracker or avoided the conversation completely. It's like she is totally intense for a burst and then flicks a switch to turn it back off and I'm left wondering if I just dreamed it. In between, the old Piper is there and we can banter and talk like we always did. It's just….the intense bits worry me I guess. Like there's something wrong, but I have no idea what."

"What about the Victim Support meetings? Are they helping?"

"She only had the first one last week and she didn't really want to talk about it. She said some of the things they talked about, but I felt like she was holding back you know?...To be fair, that is probably because she doesn't trust me. Maybe she said something to Polly though….I don't know. I mean, it's great to see her again, but I'm kind of waiting for an explosion to happen and I can't predict when the timer is going to go to zero….It's changed the dynamic between us."

"It's early days yet. See how the next session goes and when she gets her freedom back from the Doctor it will be different again. It's like fucking Stockholm Syndrome or something at the moment." Nicky slapped her on the back before heading back to the lounge.

Alex saw Piper's phone on the sofa as the blonde listened to a story Polly was telling them, so she quickly typed out a text.

'I think I have one final present to unwrap. Bring it to the bedroom?'

Piper heard her phone buzz and picked it up to see a message from Alex. She looked up to see her grinning back at her from the kitchen and read it quickly before typing a reply.

'You're supposed to be entertaining guests.'

'You're a guest. I'd like to entertain you. Help me out of these wet clothes?'

Piper couldn't disguise her grin when she read the last message and Polly noticed.

"Well I didn't just text you that very funny story about the time my Aunt got friction burns on her ass….so are you gonna share that with the rest of the class?" Everyone was looking at Piper and Alex quickly threw a large pan onto the floor with a clatter to distract them as she saw Polly about to make a lunge for the phone.

"Ah, shit. Cranberry sauce all over my floor….."

"I'll help you clean that up Alex, here…" Piper pocketed her phone and jogged over to the kitchen as the rest of the group returned to their conversation. They both bent down behind the counter and Alex scooped some sauce out of the pan onto her finger and sucked it off slowly as Piper watched.

Piper's eyes glinted and she leaned over quickly to run her tongue over Alex's lips, sucking them gently before moving away again. "Anywhere else I need to clean up?"

"God, this stuff is EVERYWHERE..." She replied loud enough for everyone to hear before taking another finger swipe and smearing it over Piper's lips. Alex leaned over to Piper's lips but stopped short of touching them as she murmured "Are you staying tonight?"

"Well, I thought I'd go back with Polly and give you your apartment back…."

"What about my bedtime story?" Alex pouted before leaning in to lick Piper's lips slowly. Piper moaned softly and moved her hand to the back of the brunette's neck to pull her closer. Alex smiled into the deepening kiss and reached up with her clean hand to press it against Piper's breast, firmly kneading it as she heard the blonde's breath hitch and feeling her nipple rise beneath the thin blouse.

"Is Nicky staying?" Piper pulled away to look at Alex as she spoke.

"Um, probably. Why? Do you want me to get rid of her?"

"No! Come with me to the bathroom, you need to sort out your lipstick."

They stood and Alex tidied away the pan into the sink before following Piper to the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and Piper's lips were on hers as soon as the lock clicked. She kissed Alex slowly and softly at first, before the kiss started to get more heated. Piper pulled away slightly, with her hands on Alex's hips.

"You'd better wash that cranberry sauce off your hands. I can't think of a plausible explanation for a red handprint on my boob when we get out of here." She smiled and moved Alex to turn around and head to the sink. As Alex started running the taps, Piper kissed along her neck and moved her hands inside Alex's top to begin massaging her breasts. Alex tried to rush and turned the taps off before Piper stopped her.

"Ah-ah, soap those hands properly sticky mitts." They were watching each other in the bathroom mirror as Piper began playing with her nipples while she went back to kissing up to her ear, whispering and nipping the lobe as she watched Alex's eyes darken. Piper maintained eye contact in the mirror as she felt for the zip down the side of Alex's jumpsuit and began to pull the zipper down to her hips slowly.

"I'd like to give you your last gift now….."

Alex tried to turn around but Piper pressed her body firmly against the sink.

"I can't stay tonight, so this is your goodnight kiss." She slipped her hands inside the jumpsuit at her waist and moved her hands slowly over the brunette's panties. She could feel the damp patch between Alex's legs through the panties.

"Piper I…want to touch you." She tried to turn around again and Piper held her firmly against the sink.

"In time Al, but for now I want you to enjoy this. We don't have a lot of time here so drop your pants and let me see if you still taste like hot chocolate…"

XXXXXX

Piper stood up, wiping her mouth and kissed Alex on the lips before quickly brushing her teeth and reapplying her lipstick, winking at Alex and wishing her a Merry Christmas before leaving the brunette alone in the bathroom.

Alex had enjoyed her orgasm at Piper's mouth, but she felt a sense of frustration at not being able to touch Piper. Truth be told, she wasn't used to the shoe being on the other foot. Alex had many hook ups since Piper and she would fuck those women and rarely let them return the favour unless they were a regular arrangement. This is how it felt to be on the other side of that she supposed and she felt almost used by Piper in this scenario, especially knowing that the blonde had no intention of staying with her tonight. She cleaned herself up and reapplied her make-up so that she was presentable again before leaving the bathroom.

When she reached the lounge, she saw Piper's bags by the door and the blonde was sitting next to Nicky already wearing her coat and ready to leave.

"Oh. You guys are heading home already?"

"Yeah, sorry Alex. I'm not used to being sober all day for Christmas and those beers Piper got me are dancing in front of my eyes now. We're gonna shoot and leave you to it." Pete said walking over to hug her and then Nicky before Polly handed him his coat.

"Thanks for the dinner and nice wine SuperCunt. See, you CAN be almost likeable when you play host. Guess you just need a little practice eh?" Polly grinned.

"Well, you guys are welcome. Until I see which of my secret bottles you found and then I might not be so quick to volunteer….Are you staying at Polly's tomorrow Pipes?" Alex looked over trying to appear matter of fact rather than hopeful with her question.

"Yeah, I'll be there in the morning and then I'm going to stay with my family tomorrow night. Not sure when I'll be back yet but I have another appointment with VSU on Thursday, so it will have to be before that. God, I can't wait for the hospital to give me the all clear now. Sobriety and my parents do NOT mix well with me….Anyhow, thanks for looking after me this last few days and I had a great time today." Piper came over and hugged her quickly, kissing her on the cheek before turning to Nicky. "See you soon Nicky Nicholls, don't be a stranger." She gave Nicky the same hug and kiss on the cheek before turning to leave with Polly and Pete.

The door closed behind them and Nicky and Alex stared at it for a moment before Nicky turned to the taller woman to speak.

"Fuck. Stone cold that one stretch."

Alex turned to look at her, eyebrows knitted together. "Cold? She just hugged you goodbye?"

"Yeah, but she didn't just fuck me in the bathroom."


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: So the last chapter was a little one and this is a build up to the next weave of the storyline...so DOUBLE UPDATE SURPRISE!**

Piper sat in the back of Pete's car, listening absent-mindedly to the two of them chatter in the front. Polly had drunk a good amount of wine, so was more than a little touchy-feely with Pete at this point and they were keen to get back to their own home now. Piper on the other hand was feeling like a homeless stray, wandering from home to home for a meal and a bed until the hospital told her otherwise. She'd just had her second sober Christmas in as many years, neither of them out of choice, but from circumstances forced upon her. She was really wanting a drink right now but knew if she gave into the feeling it could play havoc with her head. Worse still, it would only leave her craving more at this point. The upside was that she wasn't as lucid as everyone around her and was able to keep control of where things were heading with Alex. She knew the brunette was buzzed enough to be feeling horny and had allowed Piper to take advantage of that in the bathroom. But she also could sense from Alex that the brunette would be expecting a closeness when they were next alone that Piper wasn't ready to give. Having people around them all day today meant that they had to keep a reasonable distance from each other so as not to have everyone commenting on what they were (or weren't) in terms of being a couple again. That suited Piper just fine and she'd decided to call it a night shortly after their encounter in the bathroom just to be sure things stayed fairly platonic for the moment.

Of course, she knew that Alex had known she had been in prison. She hadn't meant to make a big thing out of it, but had lost her head when Alex was pressing her to tell her family she was back in her life. When it came down to it, she just wanted to hear Alex say the words and admit that she knew about it – for 2 years she had known and never let on. Piper had felt somewhat vindicated by the guilt that Alex had been carrying. She was the best liar Piper had ever met and she was on top form when she was manipulating someone to do something she wanted, but she'd rarely seen her cry and the blonde had never known her to turn on the tears to manipulate. For that reason, she knew the guilt was real and so were the tearful apologies. Not that she wanted or even expected either from Alex as she was over it really. Just a simple admission of knowing and acknowledging her part in it was all she had expected.

They pulled up outside Polly's apartment and everyone grabbed armfuls of bags and headed inside. It was late now and Piper said her goodnights and headed straight for the little home office where a camp bed was set up for her. Polly and Pete were going to stay up and have another drink or two but promised to keep the noise down. Piper took her meds and laid in the creaky little bed waiting for sleep to take over her.

XXXXX

Alex and Nicky had stayed up a good while longer, finishing the bottle of Cognac between them over another couple of hours.

"So what's the story with that lawyer chick you were hooking up with the other week then Nic? Things getting serious with you two or what?"

"Nah, she comes to the City a few times a year on business and she has my number if she's going to be around for a few days. It's just a hook up is all. She's been up a couple of times from Chicago recently and we've met up for drinks and benefits but that's where it ends. I've kinda lost my wing woman lately though, so I think I'm looking forward to blondie getting the all clear more than she is."

"Aw, you missing me already? I've only cried off for what, a week?" Alex chuckled at Nicky sticking her lip out and crossing her eyes.

"Yeah, well that's a week of no pool nights, poker nights at Poussey's and no drunk hook ups. That's a long time in my world….So what, are you planning on you and Piper being exclusive or what?"

"No, it's not like that. We just…have a lot of history and it's hard to take things slowly when you're in each other's pockets 24/7 since the attack. I think we've got a lotta shit to work out yet and I'm looking at a freaking iron door with more bolts shut across it than I can count at the moment." She downed the last of her Cognac before getting up to pour two large glasses of iced water and some aspirin. Handing both to Nicky, she said she was calling it a night and would see her friend in the morning – but not too early.

XXXXX

Piper's brother Cal came to pick Piper up just after 12 the next day with Neri along for the trip. She shouted goodbye to Polly and Pete, who were still in bed, and brought her bags to the car where Cal had been honking his horn.

"Hey! Merry Christmas you guys! It's so good to see you both. Did you get by on the roads OK? I think the snow is melting a bit now, right?" Piper grinned before hugging them both tightly.

"Merry Christmas to you too. Yeah the roads are all fine at the moment, but it is always worse out in the sticks where we are. Once you get onto the main roads it's easy going." Cal popped the trunk open and put Piper's bags in the back.

"So, we're going to your place first so you can pick up some clothes before we set off right?"

"Yes, if that's OK? I need to drop some of this stuff off and get a fresh set of clothes as well as pick your presents up!" She got into the back seat and buckled up for the short trip across Brooklyn to her apartment. She ran in and dumped her bags before stuffing a few sets of clothes into a small case and bagging up the gifts from under her own tree. She felt a bit guilty about leaving it, so gave it some water before grabbing a coat and hat and locking up.

They caught up on the drive to Boston and Cal told her about his plans for setting out the land around their place to grow more of their own food. Piper was very excited to hear what kind of crops could be grown even in this climate, but also that there were no pesticides or carbon footprints from the enterprise, so she was really supportive of the idea. The opposite to their parents of course, who thought nothing of getting groceries delivered for the convenience factor.

A few hours later they pulled up on the driveway at their parents' house and Cal gave her a hand with her bags. Their Grandmother was already sitting in the lounge with a cup of tea and greeted them warmly.

"Oh Piper, it's so good to see how much better you're doing now. Your head is healing well and the hair is growing back nicely to cover the scar. It's good that those awful bruises have gone as well dear." She kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tightly.

"Thanks, I'm feeling much better now. Hopefully I will get the all clear next week to go back to work. I've been so bored staying home all day, especially when everyone else is out Christmas shopping."

They exchanged gifts before dinner and Piper reassured everyone that she was fine and had taken her meds on several occasions before they let the subject drop. They sat in the lounge after dinner watching a James Bond trilogy that was on and Piper had an early night after not sleeping too well on the rickety camp bed at Polly's.

XXXXX

Alex and Nicky didn't get up until around 12 on Boxing Day, but neither had a hangover at that point, so they decided to head out to the local gay bar after having something to eat and let Nicky have some fun. They had a couple of beers and tequila shots before heading over to put their money on the pool table to take on the winners of the current game. Four twenty something girls were playing and Nicky was getting a bit nervous that the ugly pair might win, which would take her interest in the challenge away completely. She had her eye on a girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes, about the same height as her. The girl had been looking at Nicky too as they sat in a booth across from the table, but the prospect of playing the large girl with shaved hair around the back and sides with two missing front teeth was alarmingly close to coming true at this point.

"I thought you were supposed to be helping me here?" Nicky kicked Alex beneath the table as she saw her watching the door of the bar.

"Ouch! I am...I mean I will. You've got to get a game first."

"Well you could be over there giving her pal some tips at least - or maybe you want to distract the bull dyke in the corner from cleaning up? Either way, I won't judge. Just get me a place at the table will you?" Nicky shooed her away from the table.

"Seriously? The things I do for you…." Alex stood and took off her leather jacket and unfastened a couple of extra buttons on her shirt to reveal her ample cleavage before she rolled up her sleeved to above the elbow and walked over towards the table with her beer. She ran her hand through her hair as she stood in front of the big butch woman and leaned on the table with the tips of her long fingers.

"So….which one are you aiming for? I can never remember the right way to hit the white ball…No wait, what do you call it when you make the ball like come back towards you or something?" Alex looked at the other woman from beneath her eyelashes as she stroked the sides of the pool table and walked closer towards her.

"Screwing…" The other woman said, barely lifting her eyes up from the table.

"Ah, screwing the ball. That's it! It's such a funny thing to call it don't you think?" Alex was by the side of her now and leaned over the table next to her, giving her a good view of what was underneath her shirt. "Could you um…show me how you do it?"

"Ugh, yeah….you just…um…grip the cue like this, with your hand here-"

"Like this?" Alex put her hand over the other woman's at the base of the cue as she leaned over behind her and brushed her breasts against the other woman's back.

"Hey! Are we playing pool or what?! "Her friend returned from the bar with fresh drinks and was expecting to be tackling the cute wiry haired girl who put her money on the table earlier by now.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take you away from your game. You go right on ahead while I stand her and check out your style." Alex smiled innocently.

She took her shot and missed potting the ball.

"Aw, that was unlucky! You were so close there!" Alex mused. It had been a long time since she'd had to pull stunts like this so Nicky could move on a target but she figured she owed her friend for bailing on her this last week and being AWOL at work too.

The butch woman came over to Alex smiling and leaned against the wall with her elbow, effectively trapping her in the corner of the room.

"I think you might be putting me off my game pretty lady. You're very distracting…."

"Am I? Oh, I didn't mean to. You really look like you know what you're doing over there." Alex put her hand on the other woman's shoulder, partly to stop her from moving any closer to her face.

"Yeah, I know a few moves that I could teach you." She grinned at her innuendo while Alex inwardly cringed at what she had gotten herself into.

"Hey Lacey, it's your shot." Her friend seemed to save her from any further shrinking into the wall.

Alex took the opportunity to move into a more open space as she leaned down to take another shot and she saw that there was only the black to play for, but the shot wasn't on for her distraction target – Lacey. She leaned over and asked Lacey close to her ear if she planned on screwing the ball right now. Unsurprisingly, Lacey missed the shot and her friend was over in a beat to chastise her for losing the game as the shot was lined up perfectly for Nicky's blonde mark to pot it first time.

"Aw, another close call that one! I learned a lot though, thanks for teaching me some useful tips." Alex winked and headed back over to Nicky, her face like thunder.

"You're up Bilbo Baggins and consider any wing woman debt repaid…."she turned to see Lacey waving back at her…."in full."

Alex had several more shots courtesy of Lacey as she paired up with Nicky for the next match and in the end resorted to telling Lacey that her sweet old Granny was picking her up soon and she didn't know she was a lesbian, so she had to go down the street to sit by another bar. She was only allowed to play that card when Nicky gave her the thumbs up that she was onto a sure thing with the blonde. Alex wasted no time in picking up her jacket and running down the street and down a couple of alleys to be sure she had lost her admirer before hailing a cab home.

XXXXX

On Tuesday morning, Piper was up and showered before anyone else and made fresh coffee and breakfast in the kitchen. She was spooning her way through a bowl of cereal when her Mother wandered in with the morning papers, enquiring about what Piper's plans were for the day. It seemed Piper ought to have some plans, despite this being a sort of vacation with her family for the holidays.

"Um, I don't know. Is Daddy taking Grandmother back home today? Maybe I could go with them and take a walk down to the boating lake this afternoon."

"Yes, that's a good idea. The fresh air will do you good. I think they were planning to leave around 10 o'clock so you have plenty of time."

Piper pulled her phone out of her pocket and texted Steve to see if he was around while she was up this way. She got a message back a few minutes later saying he was at a friend's birthday party today, but could call around to see her tomorrow at her Grandmothers if she was around. She then sent another message to Alex as it had been two days since she had heard from her.

'Hey. How's my BFG?'

There was no reply for all the time Piper was eating her breakfast, so she sent another message before she went to pack her things to set off for her Grandmother's.

'Would you mind taking me to the hospital appointment on Thursday morning please? It's at 10am and hopefully I'll be out of your hair straight away if I get the all clear. Staying with family until then, so you still have your freedom '

She put her phone away and moved her things into the trunk before saying goodbye to her Mother.

Piper told her Dad about the Christmas sales figures at the store and he worried about the business loans they had taken out and whether their sales projections would match their running costs as the sales dropped after Christmas. Piper reassured him the repayments were frozen at low rates until their business was more mature and they had a good investor who was keen to see women doing well in business, so they were in good hands. Her Grandmother scolded him for acting like her Bank Manager and changed the subject to whether she was going to so 'that nice boy, Steve' while she was here. Piper chuckled and said she would be seeing him tomorrow but she wasn't sure how long he could stay for.

They arrived at her Grandmother's house and her Father stayed for a coffee before bidding them both goodbye for the drive home. Piper put her things in the pare room before heading down to the boating lake for a while. The air was cold and the snow melted already here, but the ground was frosty underfoot and it was perfect for walking. She put her earbuds in and listened to Kasabian on her phone as she walked slowly down the steep track to the lake. She heard her phone beep with a message, so pulled it out of her pocket to see a reply from Alex.

'Your BFG is doing just fine, though I'm running out of snozzcumbers so I might have to go shopping today. Fine for Thursday, I'll drop by around 8. A'

She sat on a bench by the boating shed and turned off her music to just listen to the birdsong for a while. After half an hour she started to get cold, so pulled her coat up around her face more and dug her hands further into her pockets as she didn't want to go back indoors just yet. Another half hour passed and she realised her teeth were chattering together, so she headed back to the house at a good pace before she started to lose the light on the rough track she was walking. Getting back to the kitchen door, Piper could smell a casserole and her stomach started growling straight away.

XXXXX

Alex got up early on Tuesday morning to head into work. The rest of the crew had another day off yet, but she wanted to make sure everything had arrived that was sent before Christmas and the next orders were scheduled properly for when they were back to full staff again in the morning. It had been nice to have a few days off work, but she had missed the peace and quiet of her office. Answering emails and calls while at Piper's had been fine short term, but it didn't feel like time off or time at work either. She had planned to clean the place down while everyone was off as she hated the untidiness of the main office compared to her own. She took off her hoodie and put a Ramones album on her phone earbuds as she worked her way through tidying papers away, wiping over every surface and running the vacuum around, moving the furniture as she went. It was very therapeutic and she felt like she was able to cleanse her own mind of all the over-analysing Piper's behaviour over the last couple of days. Nicky had texted her this morning to say she got lucky with the blonde last night, but she was just experimenting so it was over pretty quickly. Alex replied to say she didn't care if she only got to first base, her part of the deal was done.

She brought some fruit for lunch and sat on the steps in front of the delivery door to eat it, when she saw a text from Piper. She had been wondering if Piper would get in touch as she had decided to let Piper decide when she wanted to call. As much as she'd been tempted to call her since Christmas Day, she also loathed appearing clingy. She kept her reply friendly, knowing she had plenty to keep her busy until Thursday, but she knew that she was going to miss being with Piper every day when she got the all clear.

She went back inside and made a start in the delivery room, tidying up the shelves and re-organising some of the storage containers so they were a bit easier to look through. It was already 7pm by the time she called it a night and headed home for a dinner of warmed up leftovers.

XXXXX

Piper ate a delicious home-made casserole with her Grandmother and they played a couple of overly competitive games of scrabble before they both went to bed at a reasonable time. When she wasn't drinking, Piper found it quite difficult to stay up late, but at least the fresh air had tired her a little as well as some much needed leg stretching. She was really missing her morning runs and wondered how soon she could start taking at least a fast paced walk in the mornings.

Steve came to the house at 10am on Wednesday and they spent some time with her Grandmother first, where Steve told her how Joe was doing after he had a fall just before Christmas. Then he suggested they went out to see 'The BodyWorlds' exhibition that was in Boston at the moment and he drove them into the city to get some lunch on the way. The exhibition was fascinating, if a little gruesome in parts and they took their time walking around it before Steve offered to drive her back to New York. It didn't take long to pick up her things from her Grandmother's and Piper texted Polly to let her know she'd be home later that night.

They drove in a comfortable silence, listening to the radio in Steve's Mercedes along the way. It had been a nice day out and he hadn't brought up the attack once, though Piper sensed he wanted to. It had been nice to have a normal day out without feeling like someone was looking after her until the next shift took over and she took his hand in hers before thanking him.

"It's been so nice to get out and do something different today with you. I feel like I've been cooped up away from the cold weather and fresh air, so seeing something to stimulate my brain has been really good for me. Thanks Steve, you're such a good man."

"Hey, you're very welcome. Anytime too, you just let me know when you want to hang out and we can make plans to do stimulating brain stuff if you want." He laughed and squeezed her hand gently but didn't let it go.

"He's dropped all charges against me you know. I think he realised the evidence was stacked against him and an assault charge against me wouldn't hold up." Steve ventured, but kept his eyes on the road. Piper didn't say anything at first, just looked out of the window.

"There's a good case against him Piper. A very good chance he will be put away for what he's done you know." He glanced at her before looking back at the road ahead.

"I know. I guess it won't be long before a court date now. I'll have that bundle of fun to look forward to next." She was still looking out of the window and half taking to herself at this point.

"You'll be OK Piper. I'll be with you every step of the way and so will the Police." He turned the corner onto Piper's street and pulled the car up outside her apartment.

"Yeah, well me and the justice system have a chequered past and I have zero good memories of court rooms and lawyers to date, so forgive me for not jumping with joy right now, OK?" She looked at him sternly before opening the door to climb out.

"Piper, I'm sorry. I didn't think about that when I said it. I just meant you had a strong case…" He hurried to keep up with her and tried to take some of the bags off her as she climbed the steps to her front door.

She opened the door with her key and put the lights on, stepping inside to let Steve come in and shut the door behind them.

"I know you mean well, but even when everything looks fucking peachy with evidence and past cases it can all go tits up the moment I stand in the dock. So, I'm actually trying to not think about it right now and focusing on getting back into some sort of normality instead – like not having a babysitter 24 hours a day." She took her phone from her bag and called Polly.

"Hey, we just got back. Are you on your way already?"

"Yeah, I'm about 5 minutes away. Do you want me to pick something up for dinner?"

"No, I've got leftover casserole from my Grandmother so we don't have to eat takeaway for a change. See you in 5 then. Bye."

She put her phone on the table next to the door and took her coat off.

"Do you want t a coffee or anything before you head back? Might help you keep your eyes open?" Piper smiled, trying to change the subject from the court case.

"Yeah, coffee would be great actually. Thanks….And sorry, for catching your foot in mouth disease earlier." Steve bumped her shoulder and Piper grinned back at him.

"Well, it's good to know I'm not the only person who is susceptible to that!" She went to put the coffee on and Steve took a seat next to the breakfast bar as Piper put the oven on for the casserole.

"You want some of this? There's like enough to feed an army here. I honestly don't think my Grandmother knows how to cook for less than 20 people."

XXXXX

Alex was in the office a good hour before everyone else on Wednesday. She had painted the parking bay lines in the delivery area as well as marking out the zones not to leave boxes in, so she needed to put everything back for when they opened up. She was on the phone to a shipping company in London when Lorna came in and knocked on the glass of her office to make the universal signal for 'do you want a hot drink?' Alex smiled and gave her the thumbs up as she carried on with the call. By the time she was done, Nicky was also in the office and the pair were nattering about what they did over Christmas and Alex came out to pick up her mug of coffee. She listened to them for a while before heading downstairs to see how Poussey and Taystee were doing with her new zone markings, already spotting they had stacked a pile of boxes in the 'no go' area. She tutted and put her mug down to move them, all the while explaining loudly why the lines were on the floor. Dannii was a short red-head who had been working part time for them for about a month in the delivery office and she came out to see what all the loud voices were about.

"Well it makes perfect sense to me Alex. It's a health and safety thing, right?" She offered.

"Exactly right Danni. See you guys? I don't do it to make your life harder."

"Yeah, she does it to keep you safe. She's interested in our welfare aren't you Alex?" She smiled like the school swot who answered the teacher's question correctly. Poussey and Taystee rolled their eyes as though they were back in school and Alex crossed her arms as though she were a teacher.

Dannii had been crushing hard on Alex since she started working there and Alex knew it, but kept her at a distance to not encourage her. She was pretty, but a little young and naïve for her now. She might have made a decent mule once over and maybe that was a type that Alex couldn't help recruiting even though she was out of the business.

"Yes, thanks Dannii. Now you know why the lines are there, please stick to the marked areas and I won't have to clean up any severed limbs since I'm also the resident First Aider here."

Alex went back upstairs with her empty mug and Nicky handed her the phone as soon as she got through the door.

"It's the shipping company in London. They are saying the furniture order is damaged and they won't take it. Can you talk to them?" Alex took the phone into her office and shut the door over. Lorna and Nicky could hear Alex raising her voice as the call went on before she slammed the phone down and pulled her door open wide.

"Fucking idiots! Jesus Christ, I don't know why we have to work with these people sometimes. Argh!" She ran her hands through her hair while she thought.

"I have to go to London to sort this out straight away. Those containers are worth around $75k that we'll have to write off if I can't prove they weren't damaged by us. I need to see if the insurance company will pay out, but I want to see the evidence before they go tampering with anything…..Fuck. Nicky – I said I'd take Piper to the hospital tomorrow for 10am. Can you go in my place? You'll need to be there for about 8am before Polly leaves for work and if she gets the all clear you might be back here for just after lunch I guess. Would you mind?"

"Sure, I can handle blondie for a bit. You go rescue your furniture Vause."

Alex picked up her keys and headed home to pack a case before heading off to the airport for the next flight to London.

 ***I hope I didn't offend anyone with my use of the terms 'butch' or 'bull dyke' as I know people get annoyed by the labels. My point was only that they are not Alex's (or Nicky's) type and Alex would do the same with anyone who wasn't her type to help out her wing woman. What a buddy ;-)**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Special thanks to Librarybook for ongoing good feedback on the latest chapters as well as the ever reliable Izzielg and WB79. On with the story!**

It was late on Wednesday night when Piper received another text from Alex.

'Really sorry, but can't take you in the morning. Something has come up at work and I'm going to be away for a few days. Nicky will be there for 8am to pick you up instead. X'

Piper read the message and was immediately reminded of all the times she had received last minute messages like this from Alex when she was with the cartel. It didn't seem to matter what was important to Piper, Alex's work always came first – no matter how late in the day it was to dump her. Maybe it was just Alex's nature to put work first and it didn't matter what the work was. It wouldn't matter anyway if she got the all clear tomorrow as she would be able to drive again and go wherever she wanted on her own time. She typed a quick reply to Alex to acknowledge that she knew about the change of plans.

'Fine. Thanks for letting me know.'

She threw her phone onto the table before taking her last set of pain meds and heading off to bed.

XXXXX

Alex was already in London when she received Piper's reply and she sighed at the familiar tone. It clearly was anything but fine to her that Alex wasn't able to take her today but Alex didn't want to get into a text argument with the blonde. It would be the middle of the night in New York now, so Piper was probably in bed already and Alex hadn't slept well on the flight over. It was early in the morning in London and she wanted to make the trip as quick as possible and have a full day to check on this shipment before anything was moved. She checked into her hotel and had a long shower to feel clean after the long flight before deciding to forget any prospect of sleep and got an extra strong coffee from the machine in her room instead. She opened her laptop and found the policy information she needed and noted the location of the offices if the shipping company and the place the furniture was currently being kept before changing and heading out to be waiting outside the offices for them to open up. They wouldn't be expecting her this early and that gave her the upper hand.

She met with Mark, the senior manager involved in managing their contract and they discussed the key concerns over handing the damaged shipment and what needed to be agreed with regards to liability. They travelled together to meet the site foreman looking after the containers and itemised the damage. It looked to both of them like the containers hadn't been stacked correctly on the ship across the Atlantic, which had caused three of the containers to move and the contents inside had been banged against the side. Not everything was a write-off though and they noted which pieces were still good to go that could be re-packed and sent on their way and which needed to be trashed and covered by the insurance of the ship that carried them. It was 12:00 when they took a break for lunch and Mark headed out to get them both something to eat and a strong coffee for a now flagging Alex. Waiting in the warmth of the site foreman's office, Alex typed a quick message to Piper to wish her luck with her appointment at the hospital and to say she hoped her VSU meeting went OK as well. It would ab around 7am back home, so Piper should pick the message up before Nicky arrived. She sent a quick text to Nicky to remind her to go to Pipers and not work that morning just to be sure.

XXXXX

Piper was in the shower when her phone buzzed with a message. Paranoid that this was Nicky cancelling on her, she jumped out of the shower and grabbed a towel to put around her to get her phone. It was a message from Alex wishing her luck. She didn't reply but plugged her phone in to charge and got back into the shower. She couldn't understand how anything at a logistics company could be so important that she had to drop Piper the day before her appointment. Surely that was supposed to be the whole point of being the boss with employees, that someone else was employed to do the work. She rinsed off and got out of the shower, drying off and putting on jeans and grey tee and a hoodie before drying her hair quickly. She had enough time for a quick coffee with Polly in the kitchen and a granola bar before Nicky was due to arrive.

"So where is SuperCunt anyway? Did she say where she was going to be for a few days?"

"No idea. Alex doesn't add details when she bails on you, just hollow apologies and usually something about how it will never happen again."

"Did you ask?"

"No. "

"Right. Guilty until she proves herself innocent then."

"Yep."

"Is that fair? Seeing as she has run around after you for the past week without a word of complaint?"

Piper raised her eyebrows at Polly, daring her to defend Alex again.

"I'm just saying you have no idea what the emergency is and you're putting her in the naughty corner….But, whatever. It's your soap opera, I'm just supporting cast."

Nicky knocked on the door and Polly went to let her in.

"Well Good Morning sunshine! Can I assume you'd like a coffee before you venture into a public space by the looks of you?" Polly took in Nicky's scowling face as she stood on the step, before standing back to let her in.

"Yes. Coffee. Strong. Two sugars. Please. Thank you." Nicky shuffled over to the breakfast bar and sat with a thud.

"Hi Nicky. Thanks for taking me this morning. It looks like Alex dumped this on you last minute as well by the looks of you. Sorry she's so shit at following through on her commitments, but you get used to it." Piper didn't even attempt to contain her annoyance but Nicky looked up, confused by her tone.

"Um, I'm hungover from poker night at Poussey's last night so sorry I'm not all sweetness and light yet. Alex asked me to do this yesterday as soon as she knew she'd have to fly to London. She's trying to save us from losing a big chunk of money on a damaged shipment, so I think you're being a bit harsh on her there Piper."

"She's in London? I didn't realise."

"Yeah, the company we deal with over there was threatening to make us take the hit for the full lot so Alex flew out there as soon as she put the phone down to stop them from doing anything with it until she could sort out the paperwork. I've had a few emails off her this morning so she's been working the full day. I don't think she's slept yet."

"Aaand, that would be the part where she is proven innocent again, right?" Polly brought a mug of coffee over for Nicky and raised her eyebrow at Piper before turning away to pick up her coat and bag for work. "See you later and let me know what happens at the hospital will you? What time is that woman coming around from the VSU?"

"I'll text you when I'm done. I think she is here about lunchtime. Thanks." Piper stood to clean up the kitchen while Nicky watched her from above her coffee mug.

"You know, I like you Chapman. You're good people. You're hot, got your own business going there, you've got good banter and you're game for a laugh. But when it comes to Alex, you've got your head up your ass. That girl could have her pick of any woman in New York. She's freaking catnip for lesbians, straight girls and everything in between. I've never seen her pander after anyone in all the time I've known her and she runs after you like you hung the moon. I know you guys have got some weird history going on, but you're gonna have to get past that and see what the fuck is standing in front of you both. If you only look for the worst in her, that's all you'll ever see and she's a fucking catch Piper. We both know it." Nicky downed her coffee and picked her phone up off the top, signalling the lecture was over and they needed to head out.

XXXXXX

The containers were all sorted out and scheduled to be re-packed for transfer in the morning where they were not damaged. Mark and Alex had agreed on the itemised list for the claims and both companies would make an insurance claim against the owner of the ship for not stacking everything correctly. Since everyone was on the same page now, neither party should lose out on the costs. It had been useful to meet with Mark and they talked about other opportunities for the two companies to work together, though Alex really needed to get some rest now. She went back to her room and quickly checked on flight options for early in the morning so she could head home quickly and booked a flight for 4am from Heathrow airport. She crawled into bed and set her alarm for a few hours' time, knowing she would be in a foul mood when she got up. Before she closed her eyes, she checked her phone one last time to see if there was any news from Piper but it was only Lorna letting her know she had sent some paperwork off.

XXXXX

Piper was surprised to find a cab waiting outside for them when they locked the door to leave and she looked at Nicky, wondering where her car was.

"Er, I don't have a licence which means I can't have a car either. Vause gave me the cash to keep the meter running on a cab for us though." She grinned before opening the door for Piper and curtseying as she got inside. Piper remembered Alex telling her the story of how Nicky had applied for a job as a delivery driver first and suddenly it made sense.

Piper stared out of the window for a couple of minutes before turning to Nicky.

"She's no Saint you know."

"I know." Nicky remained impassive as she let Piper think about what Alex had done for her.

"Well I'm just saying. She can do some shitty things as well as the grand gestures."

Silence.

"Sometimes she even makes the grand gesture before she does something shitty."

Silence.

"Are you treating this like a customer services call?"

"Are you treating this like you're making a complaint about bad service?"

Silence.

"Fine. I'll pull my head out of my ass when she gets back." Piper glared at a grinning Nicky as she sat back in her seat.

Nicky came into the hospital with her and they let the driver go as they had no idea how long it might take. They waited in a side room for the Doctor to come out for about fifteen minutes and Nicky waited outside as Piper went to see him in his office.

XXXXX

"Please take a seat on here Piper." Dr Shetty smiled and gestured towards the examination table on the opposite side of his desk.

"How have you been then?" He asked as he washed his hands in the sink next to the bed. Piper hopped up to sit on the bed, her legs dangling over the edge.

"Fine. I'm feeling a lot better now. My ribs are still sore when I take deep breaths but my headaches were much better when you changed the medication last time."

"OK. I'm going to check your head wound is healing up nicely now…." He leaned in and brushed her hair to one side and checked on the area where the stitches were made. "That's doing well and those stitches will dissolve in time so no need to get them removed unless they cause you any discomfort."

"Can you lie back from me please and lift your top up a little so I can check on your ribs?" He waited for Piper to get comfortable and pull her hoodie and tee shirt up high enough so he could press lightly against the ribs that were hurt. Piper winced as he did it, but tried not to let it show in case he didn't give her the all clear.

"OK, now sit up again while I check your blood pressure." Piper sat up on the edge of the bed again while he reached for the sphygmomanometer and secured the cuff around her arm. After inflating the cuff a couple of times to check his readings, he washed his hands and made some notes in the patient file in front of him before asking Piper to take a seat in the chair opposite his desk.

"So, when I asked you earlier how you'd been…you answered 'fine'. Was that from a physical or a mental perspective?"

Piper was perplexed by the question, but answered "Both".

"And how are your meetings with the Victim Support Unit going?"

"They are fine as well….Well, I've only had one session because I was out of town when I first came out of hospital. I have another this afternoon, but they are separate to all of this right? You're just checking off my physical health and they are more about the therapy."

"Yes and no. Your blood pressure is very high at the moment which needs to improve. This could be related to the trauma of what you've been through or it could be stress. Which is why I'm asking how your sessions have been going. If you've only had one, I think we need to see how the next one goes and maybe think about increasing them to a couple per week or seeking some additional counselling support."

"What? No! I don't need to be sitting on a couch twice a week talking about my feelings. I just need to get my freedom back and get out of my apartment a bit. Please? I'm going stir crazy in there and I need some physical exercise to burn off some energy."

"There's nothing to say you can't go for walks or ride a bike as long as you have someone with you. Your ribs will stop you from pushing yourself too hard anyway. I'm going to take you off the meds completely as you should be able to manage the pain with aspirin if you get any aches now, but I'm going to keep you under supervision pending the outcome from your next two VSU sessions. It doesn't need to be 24 hours though as I think the danger is more present when you're active during the day. From what you've said about exercise, I think having someone with you when you do that is a fair precaution."

"Is it negotiable?" Piper hedged her bets just in case there was an option for a better deal.

"I'm afraid I don't negotiate when it comes to the health of my patients. I wouldn't be a very good Doctor if I did." He chuckled and finished up his notes. "I'll see you again when you've had two further VSU meetings and we can see how your blood pressure is then." He stood to walk her to the door and she smiled weakly as she thanked him and met Nicky in the waiting room.

"Wow Chapman, you look like you just got a B- for your report. I take it I'm not heading back to work straight away now?"

"No. Sorry about that. It will depend on this next VSU session and one other after that. Can we get a cab and pick up some lunch on the way?"

They called into an Italian deli on the way back and picked up some lunch to go, letting the cab drop them off at Piper's apartment. They had just finished lunch when there was a knock on the door and Piper opened it to greet Sarah from the VSU.

"Hi Piper, nice to see you again." She smiled warmly and adjusted her handbag on her shoulder as she stood on the doorstep.

"Hey Sarah, come on inside into the warm. Here, let me take your coat." Piper held her arms out to hold her files while Sarah took her coat off to reveal a fitted dark green blouse that hugged her curves.

"Thanks, I guess I should be more electronic these days to save on paper, but I like making notes the old fashioned way." She chuckled as she took the stack of files back off Piper.

"Sarah, this is my friend Nicky. Nicky, this is Sarah Phillips from the Victim Support Unit." Nicky walked over and took Sarah's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you Nicky."

"The pleasure is all mine." Nicky grinned before releasing Sarah's hand, leaving her blushing.

"Can I get you a drink Sarah?" Piper asked as she pointed to the sofa where they could sit and talk.

"A coffee would be great actually – white with one sugar".

"I'll do that for ya. Are you having another Piper?" Nicky asked already on her way to the kitchen.

"Um, no. I guess it's not good for my blood pressure to have too much caffeine."

"Have you got a high blood pressure Piper?" Sarah asked, opening her file.

"According to my Doctor this morning, yes. He thinks it could be trauma from the attack or stress though. So he wants to know how this session goes and the next one before I can resume normal life."

"OK. Well, I'm sure events from the attack will be sinking in more now and you've had more time to process your feelings about them. Have you thought about that night recently?"

"Um, yes. Last night actually. My friend Steve dropped me home – the one who was with me that night. He was talking about Darryl dropping the assault charges against him."

"And what did you think about that news?"

"Well, it's good. For Steve I mean. I guess it didn't make any difference to me."

"Were you pleased for Steve?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you don't seem very pleased when you're talking about it to me."

"I just think he's being too optimistic about the whole thing, like it was another reason we would definitely get a conviction."

"You don't think there is reason to be optimistic?"

"No. A lot can happen between now and the court date. There's no point in getting excited about it or even thinking about it yet."

"Why wouldn't you think about it?"

"Because…..It makes me angry!" Piper realised her hands were balled into fists and she put them underneath her legs to hide them.

"What makes you angry Piper?" Sarah asked gently.

"This! All of this! Having to stand in a courtroom and do something that terrified me the last time I had to be in one and all because of something I didn't choose…I…..hate it. The way it makes me feel."

"Hate what Piper? Hate the way what makes you feel?"

"Being a victim." She spoke so quietly that Sarah strained to hear her.

Sarah waited a few moments and made some notes before saying anything further.

"OK….Are you angry right now Piper?"

"Yes."

"And what do you do with that anger? How do you let it go?"

Piper looked up at her, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What do I do with it? What do you mean?"

"How do you get rid of it?"

"Well….it passes eventually. I just sort of ride it out. Maybe say some things I don't mean I guess." She looked over at Nicky, who was trying to not listen, but it was hard to not overhear.

"Do you think it might be better to let the anger out in some way? Maybe you can have a think about how you can let it out instead of bottling it up between now and our next session."

"Um…OK. But like what? Writing a 'feeling's diary'?" Piper did air quotes to show what she thought of that idea.

"If that is what you think is the best way for you to deal with it. Is that your first urge when you get angry? To write?"

Piper laughed. "No. It's to punch someone in the face repeatedly. I'm guessing you don't want me to do that though."

"Well, you'd be right about that." Sarah smiled because Piper was being honest. "But maybe something more physical to use that anger might suit you. Exercise maybe. You think on it next time you're angry and see what comes to mind. I think we've done enough for today Piper. Can we make another appointment for early next week?"

"Yeah, my diary is fairly empty right now…"

They made an appointment for Monday because Piper wanted to get the two sessions done quickly to go back to Dr Shetty.

"Yo Doc, is there anything I can do to help?" Nicky piped up from the kitchen as she saw them wrapping up. "You know, like carrying a pen for the feelings diary or something?" Nicky smiled at Sarah, but Piper could tell it was threatening to become a grin.

"Oh, I' not a Doctor Nicky. I wish I had their brains – or their salary for that matter! I thought about it when I was in College, but I can't stand the sight of blood and the ruled out the majority of Doctor careers pretty early on. I didn't realise you could be a different kind of brain Doctor and focus on psychology until much later in life."

"I bet you could do it if you wanted to. The studying I mean. You can't be far past, what, 25?"

Piper watched Nicky's lopsided grin and then Sarah's blush as she told her she just turned 30 not long ago, finding herself to be a third wheel all of a sudden. She made an excuse to leave them for a minute and went to the bathroom. When she returned, Nicky was sitting on the sofa and Sarah was laughing at some story she was telling. Seeing Piper return, Sarah stood up to leave.

"Well, my next appointment is across the City so I'd better head over that way. I'll see you on Monday Piper. It was nice to meet you Nicky." She put her coat on and picked up her files as Piper held the door open and said goodbye. Once the door was closed, Piper turned and raised her eyebrows at Nicky.

"Seriously?"

"What?"

"You are flirting with my sort of therapist!"

"Not really. Just testing the water." Nicky shrugged, like she couldn't help it.

"And was the water Sapphic enough for you?"

"I think so, but I'd have to taste it to be sure."

"Nicky!" Piper pretended to be outraged. "I should really let you get back to work. Maybe I can go and see Polly in the store this afternoon and then you're not missing for the whole day."

"What? No way! The boss gave me the day off to look after you as far as I'm concerned and there's no way I'm wasting that opportunity by going to work this afternoon. If you're allowed out, we can go and catch a movie or something. What do people who don't have to work do on Thursday afternoons?"

"I don't know, but the movies sounds like a great idea. I'm in!"

They found a little family run cinema that Nicky knew of and watched a movie called 'The Overnight' with popcorn, nachos and sodas. They were the only people in the place at that time so talking through the movie and laughing loudly at the funny bits wasn't a problem.

"That woman looked exactly like you Piper. Like, it could have _been_ you!"

"Why? Because she had blonde hair and blue eyes? Newsflash Nicholls, half the female population matches that description – 90% of it if you live in Scandinavia in fact."

"She was nerdy just like you too."

"I am _not_ nerdy!" Piper managed to hail a cab and they headed towards PoPi so Piper could meet up with Polly and ride home together, leaving Nicky to head back home. They pulled up outside the store and Piper climbed out, leaning down to hug Nicky as she left.

"Thanks for today. Your customer service has been excellent." She winked before closing the door.

Piper could see that Polly had her back to the door when she came in, so she sneaked up and covered her eyes with her hands, causing Polly to shriek out in alarm.

"Relax, it's just me." Piper released her before she got to find out how much of the 6th grade self-defence class Polly remembered.

"Jesus Christ Piper! I could have put you on your ass there….." The fact that Polly was clutching her chest suggested otherwise and Piper grinned.

"I doubt that very much."

"What are you doing here anyway? Wait. You got the all clear?!"

"Not exactly. I'm supposed to have someone with me during waking hours but I'm OK to stay on my own at night – when there's less excitement around or something. I have high blood pressure." Piper was looking at the pile of boxes next to the counter as she spoke.

"What are all these?"

"New stock I haven't had chance to put out yet. Can you make yourself useful while you're here?"

"Yes! I can be useful!" She picked up a box and checked the contents before heading into the store to re-stock the shelves. By closing time, they were nearly all out and the Christmas themed gifts and pricing were all down and stored away. They locked up the store and headed back to Piper's place for the night. Polly's overnight things were already there in case the news wasn't good from the hospital and they could head to the store together in the morning anyway. They called at the grocery store on the way back to pick up some fresh food and Piper said she'd make dinner for them both.

Piper was looking forward to going to work for a full day tomorrow and she was actually having trouble sleeping from the excitement of it when she got a message on her phone. She leaned over and picked it up off her bedside table and saw that it was from Alex.

'Hi. How did it go? Do you need me to come around tomorrow? X'

Piper was surprised Alex would be back so quickly from London as that used to be a week-long trip at least when she was in the cartel.

'Hi. Not as good as I hoped, but don't need you to babysit tomorrow as I will be at the store with Polly. Thanks anyway. X'

XXXXX

Alex was waiting for her luggage at JFK when she got the reply back straight away from Piper. She was curious why Piper hadn't been given the all clear as she seemed to be doing well, but was also relieved that she didn't have to go round there tomorrow. A 24 hour trip to Europe on very little sleep was killing her and she was desperate to face plant her bed and remain still and unconscious until she couldn't sleep anymore. The thought alone made her sleepy.

She picked up her case and headed back to her car to drive home. It was already late, so she grabbed a drive thru McDonalds and ate it in the car on the way. By the time she made it inside, she left her coat and case in the lounge and headed straight to bed.

XXXXX

Piper was up early the next day and made Polly a power smoothie with some of the veg and fruit they got last night. Polly screwed her face up at the sight of it and Piper said she didn't need to know what was in the drink because she would overthink it. All she needed to know was it was organic and full of vitamin goodness and she had to finish it.

They set off for the store and opened up together, with Piper insisting on taking over the counter for the day. She wanted to talk to people and Polly wanted to rest her feet from standing practically all day everyday over the Christmas period so it was a no contest situation. Going through the Christmas themed stock, they decided to put some items on sale to use them up and make some space for the spring line of fresh smelling scents so Polly started working on pricing the old sets up and pushing them to the front of the store. It was much quieter in January as people were waiting it out for payday at the end of the month after an expensive Christmas, so Piper was getting restless at the counter after they had eaten lunch.

"Shall we go through some ideas for the spring fragrances? Maybe we should check through the sales figures for last spring to see what we should keep and what we drop…."

"Piper, we can't compare with anything realistic for last spring because I was operating from my kitchen and trying to get other stores to stock small amounts of our soap to try it. We are doing a wider range from our own store now. We need to forget what happened last year."

"Well, maybe I could look over the spreadsheets to see what the other stores sold well-"

Polly didn't even look up from her laptop when she spoke this time. "No point. They didn't record what type they sold."

"What about if we-"

"What the fuck did you put in that energy drink this morning? You're like a cat on a hot tin roof in here today. Just chill will you? We don't need to sort all of this today. Quite frankly, I'm trying to enjoy some peace after the Christmas madness."

"I was only asking."

"I know you were, but the more answers I give you, the more questions you ask. How about you pretend I'm not here for a while and entertain yourself out the front, hmm?"

Piper went back to the counter and drummed her fingers on the top, looking for something to do. She picked up her phone and texted Nicky.

'Hey.'

'Er, can I help you?'

'Just saying hey.'

'Right.'

'Is Alex back?'

'Have you asked Alex?'

'No.'

'I would put money on her knowing the answer to that question.'

'She might be asleep and I don't want to wake her up.'

'You can't see if she's asleep if your head is stuck up your ass. Unless you need a hand removing it, you're texting the wrong number. Use your words Chapman.'

Piper stuffed her phone into her back pocket and walked to the front window to look out on the sidewalk. She didn't want to wake her up for something as feeble as 'Hey, how was your trip' but she couldn't think of another excuse to contact her at the moment. She hadn't left anything at her apartment or borrowed any clothes that she needed to return. She didn't have any innocent reason for getting in touch with the globetrotting Alex Vause at this moment in time. Frustrated, she started straightening the shelves as she wracked her brains for an excuse to get in touch and see if she had plans for the weekend. Maybe that was her excuse? Did it make her seem too keen? She should play it cool. Cooler than the short text messages she'd sent her while she was away in London? They were a bit too cool she thought, feeling guilty. The store opened and Piper finally had a customer to take her mind off Alex. She finished up re-stacking the lemon and thyme soaps on the end table and went to see if she could help when warm arms wrapped around her waist from behind and even warmer lips nuzzled her neck.

"Did you miss me?"


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing as always, it's good to see so many of you are sticking with the story as it develops. Things are about to get serious, so fasten your seatbelts as we head towards answering your burning questions!**

Piper turned her head slightly to look at Alex and scowled at her.

"You left me."

"I did." Alex went to move her hands from being clasped around Piper's waist but felt the blonde put her own hands over the top of them to keep them in place. Alex rested her chin on Piper's shoulder.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I didn't." Piper shrugged.

"You didn't answer my question or you didn't miss me?" Alex interlinked her fingers with Pipers on top and wrapped her arms fully across the blonde's stomach, pulling her closer.

"I think you're trying to influence my decision here…." She looked down at their hands, but couldn't manage to hide her smile from Alex.

"Does that mean you aren't going to answer?" She pecked her on the cheek.

"It means you are trying to sway the decision in your favour."

Alex moved her mouth up from Piper's shoulder towards her ear. "If…..IF….I was trying to…(kiss)….sway your decision…(kiss)…I'd have to be…..(kiss)…sure of a positive…(kiss)…outcome…(kiss)…to make it worth my while." Alex removed her lips from Piper's ear and released her arms from around the blonde before stepping back.

"Glad you're feeling better and I'll let you consider the evidence. Let me know when you've made a decision."

"Wait. What?"

Alex winked and walked to the door, closing it softly behind her as Piper watched her walk to her car through the store window.

XXXXX

It took all of Alex's resolve to not pull Piper into a thorough make out session in the store. She smelled so good and hadn't appeared to be as sulky as the brunette was expecting, so pulling herself away from her had been difficult but necessary. Alex needed to know if Piper was willing to do some of the running to make things work between them now. She'd broken her neck to get to London and back as quickly as she could and Piper had been less than understanding about it from the limited text exchanges they had shared.

She made her way to get some groceries in before calling Nicky to see if she was up for a few beers at the bar they went to the other night. Nicky didn't need any persuading so Alex arranged to pick her up from work later.

XXXXX

Piper walked around PoPi with her phone in her hand for the rest of the afternoon, on the verge of texting Alex until Polly prized it from her hands and put it in the back office.

"Call or don't call, but you need both hands to tidy down the shelves in the front."

"Do you think it looks worse the longer I leave it?"

"Honestly? I don't care. What are you, a teenager with a crush?"

"You could be a bit more sympathetic about my love life…" Piper sighed as she glanced over at where Polly had put her phone.

"Is that what it is? Your love life? I thought it was the Piper and Alex show – also known and the spider and fly." Polly rolled her eyes and went to prepare a bucket of soapy water to clean up the shelves.

"Which one am I then?" Piper shouted to her through the door into the little area they used as a mini-kitchen. Polly didn't answer as the taps were running on full and she was searching for the detergent. She carried the bucket out a few minutes later, carrying a couple of pairs of rubber gloves and some cloths.

"Am I the spider or the fly?" Piper repeated. Polly looked at her for a second, considering the question.

"You're the spider."

Piper beamed like that was the part in the school play she wanted the most.

"I haven't finished. You think you're the spider, but you're probably always gonna end up being the fly…..The fly that is the most difficult for the spider to capture, but a meal so tasty, the spider constantly pursues you….There. That analysis enough for a Thursday?" She threw a pair of rubber gloves at Piper and walked to the front of the store with the bucket.

"But I don't want to be the fly."

XXXX

Nicky and Alex slid into a booth at the bar with a couple of beers. The bar was starting to fill up with the after work crowd and in another couple of hours it would probably be packed for a band that was playing later. Alex told Nicky a bit about the London trip before Nicky insisted she couldn't talk shop unless she was on the clock.

"So, has blondie called you?"

"Has Piper called me? No. Why do you ask?" Alex seemed surprised at the question.

"Because you keep checking your phone when you think I'm not looking."

"What? I'm just checking in case there's any news on the London stuff is all."

"Right. So she didn't call you?"

"No! What does it matter?"

"She was asking me if you were back yet and I told her to call you." Nicky smirked as she took a swig of her beer.

"When was that? I called round to the store this afternoon to see her."

"Probably around lunch time."

Alex smiled, knowing that Piper had been checking up on her and that she'd put the ball back in her court when she left her earlier.

"What happened at the hospital? She said she has to have someone with her during the day, but not at night anymore?"

"That's for Piper to answer. I didn't go in with her, but she said something about high blood pressure and the Doctor wanting her to have more VSU sessions before he gives her the all clear."

"Mmm. Did you stay with her yesterday?"

"Yeah, she met with some hot red head from the VSU at home and then we went to the flicks. It was kinda weird as dates go, but whatever." Nicky grinned when Alex raised her eyebrow at the mention of the 'd' word.

XXXXX

Polly and Piper locked up and went their separate ways home for the night. Piper felt good sitting on the subway like a normal commuter again after a day at work and she was looking forward to some time on her own tonight. She got through the door of her apartment and threw her keys on the table and hung her coat up before flicking the TV on for some background noise while she looked through the cupboards for some ingredients for a quick dinner. She made a pasta with bolognaise sauce and sat to eat it in front of the TV, enjoying the luxury of a TV dinner without any conversation at all. It was bliss and she decided to cap the night off with a long soak in the bath, where she thought about what Alex had said in the store earlier and what Polly had said about her being the fly. She didn't want to be the fly, but as soon as Alex wasn't around to chase after her, she had gotten pissy about it. She had done nothing at all to chase Alex and had liked her calling in today as a surprise visit. Fucking Hell, she WAS the fly – and she didn't know how to be the spider with Alex.

She climbed out of the bath and dried off before putting on her PJs and getting into bed with her phone. She brought up Alex's name and started to type a text out, pressing send before she changed her mind.

'I missed you. X'

She held her phone for a few minutes, hoping for a reply straight away, but nothing came through. She put her phone down on her pillow and rested her eyes for a while, eventually falling asleep when no response came back.

XXXXXX

Nicky and Alex had hooked up with the two girls they had played pool with earlier in the week, after being challenged to a rematch. It was like offering Nicky free seconds with the girl she went home with, so Alex agreed to the wing woman duties. At least she got to talk to a pretty brunette with nice curves this time and not Lacey, so it was less of a chore and more of an enjoyable evening of harmless banter and a bit of flirting. Alex had left her car at work, so they were all drinking and there was a happy hour on two for one shots which they were all partaking in. Nicky and her squeeze for the night, Lucy, were trying to come up with increasingly creative ways to drink the shots for all four of them and setting up forfeits for anyone who failed or declined. Lucy was currently kneeling on the floor with her arms behind her back, preparing to stoop down to grab the shot off Nicky's boot when Alex returned with another round of four shots for each of them. She succeeded and her friend Sarah knelt down to balance hers on Alex's Converse to make them even. Nicky needed to up the ante to beat Alex at a game the tall brunette was notoriously good at because she never backed down from a challenge when it came to drinking games.

"OK, we've all warmed up now. Time to have some real fun!" Nicky grinned as she picked up another shot and handed it to Lucy, whispering in her ear. Lucy giggled loudly because the alcohol was hitting her and her friend harder than Alex and Nicky at this point and she took the shot glass and put it into her well-hoisted cleavage. Alex shook her head as she saw Nicky pick up the shot glass from Lucy's chest with her mouth and downed it with a cheeky grin before turning to Alex and Sarah and raising her eyebrows in challenge.

"Er, no. I think we're managing just fine with our hands thanks." Alex glared back.

"Come on Sarah! You're up for it aren't you babe?" Lucy threw the challenge to her friend, who was drunk enough to accept and grinned as she picked up the shot glass to start nestling it between her tits while grinning at Alex.

"You really don't have to join in with all this you know. Let's just stick to the drinking part hey?" Alex tried to talk her down, but Nicky was quick to cut in.

"Woah, challenge accepted Vause! You know you have to do the forfeit if you decline such an exquisite invitation…." Nicky waggled her eyebrows.

"Fuck off Nicky."

"You saying you can't do it Sasquatch? What's up? Those titties not the ones you want to bury your face in tonight?" Alex rolled her eyes, trying not to bite.

"Come on Alex, we can't forfeit. I promise they don't bite…" Sarah winked at her, grinning encouragement.

"Fucks sake. Right." Alex reminded herself that they were only having fun and it wasn't like she was hitting on this girl. She lifted her glasses into her hair and leaned forwards to pick the glass up with her teeth, before knocking back the shot.

"Awesome! That's one for the memory books!" Lucy laughed as she slipped her phone into her back pocket.

"Nice to see you keeping up Vause. Let's see if you can raise your game again… Your shot this time Lucy, come and get it!" Nicky poured the shot into her mouth and held it for Lucy to come and drink it from her lips.

"OK. Forfeit. We forfeit. Give us the loser prize." Alex cut in before Lucy even started to drink from Nicky's mouth, waving her hands in surrender. Nicky barely managed to contain the shot without choking on it to hear Alex giving up so quickly, but she managed to keep it to a wide grin as she winked at Alex while Lucy kissed the vodka from her with far more fervour than strictly necessary.

"What? We're supposed to be a team here Alex. I NEVER end up on the losing side." Sarah was drunk and had lost her inhibitions a while ago. She was also quite competitive apparently and not about to go down without a fight.

"What are you prude or something? For God's sake it's just drink and a bit of lip smacking with spit. Get over yourself and pour the damn drink in your mouth." Alex had never been called prude in her life and it was ridiculous that it was the one word that made her pick that shot up and pour it into her mouth while watching Nicky with steely determination. She wasn't hitting on the girl, it was business. A matter of principle. Sarah grinned and moved closer.

"Atta girl. I'm going to enjoy taking that nectar back from between those luscious lips of yours and finally finding out what you taste like Alex Vause." She winked as she closed the gap to press her lips against Alex's and proceeded to pull her into a long and slow kiss as she drank the vodka and searched the inside of Alex's mouth with her tongue, her hands fisting Alex's hair to pull her close. All the while Alex was wide-eyed that she'd been played by Sarah pretending to be drunker than she actually was and she tried to tip her head forward to quickly pour the rest of the drink into Sarah's mouth to break the kiss off.

XXXXX

It was 8am the next morning when Alex had showered and taken some aspirin when she realised her phone was dead. She plugged it in to charge before getting dressed and grabbing a couple of cereal bars and a coffee for breakfast to eat on the way. Picking her phone up, she saw there was a text from Piper. She opened it up and felt an immediate sense of guilt and irony in equal proportions when she saw the text was probably sent at the same time she was playing drinking games last night. Well, it was innocent fun anyway. And it wasn't like they were exclusive by any stretch, they were also having fun, right?

She got a cab to the office to find everyone but Nicky waiting outside for her to open the doors.

"Morning Boss!" Shouted Taystee. "You looking a bit pastier than usual there…You OK?"

"Good morning, I am fine. Thanks for your concern, though passing me a note to ask that would have been far better right now." She walked upstairs with Lorna following close behind.

"I take it you were out with Nicky last night then?"

"Mmmm-hmmm" Alex could only manage as she slumped into her chair.

"I'll get you a coffee and some cold water shall I?" Lorna smiled sweetly. At least there was one person around who could smell a hangover and deal with it sensitively.

XXXXX

Piper checked her phone again before getting out of bed at 7am and there was still no reply from Alex. She sighed and went to get a shower, dropping her phone into her bag on the way. Doubt was starting to creep in that she shouldn't have sent the text now. Maybe it had freaked Alex out and she should have made it more of a joke before sending something like that. She dried off and got dressed into some black leggings and a cream sweater before heading off to the subway station for work.

It was about 10am before she heard her phone beep on the counter and Piper leaped up to grab it as though the message might self-destruct if not read immediately. It was Alex, finally replying.

'Are you still missing me or would you like to not miss me tonight? x'

'Keep a girl waiting why don't you?! But….I like the sound of not missing you. My place at 7?x'

'Is it a date? X'

'No. Was that a yes? x'

'Yes.x'

XXXXX

After stressing for much of the day about what she might cook for dinner and what she would wear, Piper decided to make a seafood paella with fresh ingredients she picked up on the way home. She put the wine in to chill when she got in and headed straight for the shower, before changing into a pair of skinny back jeans and a blue sleeveless blouse and making a start on preparing the food. At 6:45, Alex knocked on the door holding a bottle of wine in each hand.

"Hey. I didn't know what we were eating, so I brought one of each. I didn't have enough hands to carry a pink as well and I didn't drive tonight I'm afraid."

"White is perfect. We're having seafood paella if that's OK?" Piper stepped aside to let Alex come in and closed the door behind her. She was about to ask if she could take Alex's jacket, but the brunette had already walked towards the kitchen to put the bottles down before shrugging off her jacket and catching Piper's eye.

"Sorry. I've been here a few times already and I forgot that I was a guest for a second." Alex grinned before walking back to the door to hang her coat up. "You look gorgeous by the way." She leaned down to peck Piper on the cheek before heading back to put the white wine in the fridge.

"Thanks. You look pretty hot yourself Ms Vause." She looked appreciatively at Alex wearing a tight fitting black dress, her hair down around her shoulders in loose waves and her signature winged eyeliner with red lipstick completing the hot look.

"I aim to please…..Is there anything I can help you with?" Alex looked over the various pots and pans around the worktops and spied the shellfish that needed preparing. "May I?"

"You really don't need to, but I guess two pairs of hands make lighter work right?" She joined her in the kitchen and they worked together side by side to get the meal prepared. Piper lit some candles on the dining table as there was only the main light that was a little harsh for eating dinner, then poured a couple of glasses of wine from the fridge before Alex plated the meals up and they sat to eat opposite each other.

"Shall we toast?" Piper asked as she lifted her glass.

"Is it going to be a toast to butt cheeks on the windows later? 'Cause I'm up for that." She winked.

"I won't rule it out, but it's not appropriate for tonight….How about we try 'new beginnings' again?"

Alex smiled, remembering the argument they had when they last had that as a toast.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Piper had her first drink of wine since before Christmas and boy did it feel good to share a bottle of wine with their meal. Alex told her about her trip to London and the new contracts they were trying to agree with the company as a result of her quick visit and Piper told her about Steve taking her to see the Bodyworlds exhibition in Boston. She could see Alex's jaw clench at the mention of Steve, but she tried to ignore it and focus on the fascinating science facts she had learned about the human body when she was there. When she mentioned that Steve had driven her home afterwards, Alex couldn't help but scoff.

"I bet he did. No doubt hoping for a goodnight kiss as payment."

"It wasn't like that. We've been friends for a long time Alex-"

"Yeah, but you know he wants more than that."

"Are you jealous?" Piper asked honestly.

"Pfft. Of a dude like Steve? Please. Give me some credit."

"You know, I was going to say this at the toast earlier, but it seems kind of appropriate now…..I'm going to quote Spencer Johnson here, so first of all, sorry about that. But – Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." Alex looked puzzled by what Piper had just said, so the blonde explained.

"When you left for London, I was pissed. You know that right?" Alex nodded.

"But I wouldn't admit to myself that I was pissed because that would have meant admitting why. So I didn't have the integrity part of that quote. Believe it or not, Polly and Nicky made me realise I was being an ass by pretending I wasn't pissed with you and that it was because I didn't like you leaving me again."

"Piper I-"

"I'm not finished Alex. Just wait a minute. So when I admitted that to myself, I was half way there. Then I didn't want to let you know that I didn't want you to leave me and when you came into the store you handed me the perfect opportunity to say I missed you, but I wouldn't do it. Once I sent that text message and realised that I didn't burn down in flames by telling you the truth, I felt better. Even better, telling you the truth meant you are here tonight instead of me pretending I'm all cool with you being anywhere but with me and sitting here watching TV on my own again and wondering where you are. So, I'm trying the truth on for size at the moment and it's working for me."

"OK….."

"So what I'm saying is. It's OK to be jealous Alex. Admitting you are jealous of someone spending time with me, whether that is a man or woman is OK…I know this is a new concept for you, so I'm going to let you have that fact sink in." Piper stood to clear the plates and kissed Alex on the cheek as she made her way into the kitchen to wash up.

Alex sat at the table with her back to Piper for a moment, caught in wonder at whether Piper knew about the girl from last night. Is that was has triggered the whole truth and honesty speech? Well she hasn't asked her about it, so technically she wasn't talking about that particular incident. Proceed with caution was the best advice she could give herself in this situation. It could be a trap…. Walking over to help Piper with the dishes, Alex kissed Piper on the cheek and picked up a towel to start drying as Piper washed.

"So, forgive me if I'm a little cynical about this truth amnesty…But I'll go with it since I'm in your house and all…..Yes, I probably am I bit jealous of Steve. There, OK?"

"And why are you jealous of him Alex?"

"Seriously? I thought that was the honesty part all done?"

"Not exactly. If you are admitting it to yourself, you must know why. So why not tell me? It might help you not be so snarky around him."

"I'm not-"

"Alex…."

"Ok!….Um, I don't know…maybe because he's a guy and I'm wondering if you're still into them."

"I am. So if that's the only reason you're jealous of Steve, there's a whole 50% of the population you're gonna be snarky with." Alex wasn't surprised by that, but she'd hoped that Piper might have given them up as a bad habit or something. Obviously not though.

"Alright, this is a bit intense for me. Can you be happy with the admission of jealousy for now? It's starting to feel like therapy." Alex brought the remaining dishes to the sink for Piper and wiped down the table and tops as Piper talked about her VSU session.

"So you have another session on Monday and then you see Doctor Shetty again to see if your blood pressure has dropped?"

"Yes. I think they assume it is all about the attack and the court case, so they want me to talk it out or something like that. I'm supposed to think of a way to vent my anger between now and Monday."

"Vent your anger? What like standing in a forest and screaming at the top of your lungs venting?" Alex laughed, clearly thinking this VSU woman might be some sort of hippie.

"I guess. But that's not a practical solution in New York. I was thinking more along the lines of exercise, but I can't think what."

"Well you've not been able to go running for weeks now, so that will be bugging the Hell out of you. Why don't you think of something to do that would get your heart racing but not hurt your ribs?"

Piper raised a suggestive eyebrow and stopped washing the dishes to flick soap suds at Alex.

"Hey! I actually wasn't thinking about that as an exercise routine, but I guess it does fit the criteria." Alex laughed and dipped her hand in the sink to put a handful of bubbles on Piper's nose before snaking her arms around the blonde and pulling her towards her front. Piper ran her soapy hands through Alex's hair before stroking her cheek softly with the back of her hand.

"I've missed you." Alex turned to kiss her hand before replying. "Ditto."

"Come on, let's get these finished and we can chill and finish that wine off." Piper turned to rinse the last of the cutlery and emptied the sink while Alex dried up the last of the dishes and whipped Piper's backside with the towel as she passed her to top up their wine glasses.

"So, do want to watch a movie? I've got a few DVDs here we can have a look through…" Piper put her glass down on the floor next to the sofa and started rummaging through a box of DVDs in a cupboard behind them.

"Actually, I was wondering if we could just talk maybe?" Alex spoke softly before sipping some wine in case there was going to be a long silence. Piper popped her head over the sofa to look at her, concern in her eyes.

"Sure. What's wrong? Have I done something?"

"No! No. Nothing is wrong. C'mere and sit with me." Alex patted the space next to her on the sofa and Piper got up and picked up her wine before sitting down, not quite touching Alex as she did.

"I just thought since you were trying truth on for size, you might talk to me. There are some things we need to talk about and I don't think we can properly move on until we rip off the band aid."

"Sounds serious. I'm glad there's another bottle of wine in the fridge 'cause we're perilously close to finishing this one to be starting a conversation like that." Piper laughed, trying to lighten the mood and dispel the sudden nervousness that was palpable between them.

Alex reached out and stroked a piece of blonde hair back that had fallen over Piper's eyes before speaking.

"I know. I'm shit scared of this too."

 **A/N: To be continued...**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Thanks for the ongoing reviews guys, I really appreciate you taking the time. Thanks also to Librarybook and Em0001 for making themselves known to me ;-). So, I think you might have been waiting for this one and I hope it answers some of those burning questions you've been nagging me with since Chapter 1! Haha! Enjoy.**

Piper assumed this was a two-way street on the truth and honesty talk she was agreeing to, so agreed it was something they needed to do.

"I assume you want to re-open the conversation box we closed on Christmas morning do you?" Piper asked as she gazed down into her glass of wine like it was another world. She was suddenly all too aware of how finely balanced their recently reconciled relations were, knowing they were built on a familiarity that concealed a lot of shitty history at the same time. Knowing they needed to talk about Piper's time in prison and the events leading up to it and actually doing it, were two very different concepts. Her initial thoughts were to suggest a rain check and not spoil the nice evening they'd been having – much like she did on Christmas Day. But there was a nagging danger that they would start building on these shaky foundations with a new relationship that would bite them in the ass and open her to a heartbreak that she barely survived last time.

Alex sensed her indecision and waited for Piper to meet her eyes again before speaking.

"Yes, but I don't want us to push this too far. I have no idea where or how this conversation will go, but I don't want either of us running out on each other if we lose our shit about something. I don't know, like we can call a time out or something maybe?"

"Jesus Alex, you're scaring me now."

"OK, I'm sorry. I just….I don't want to lose you again Piper and I'm terrified that you'll…..Fuck. Just promise me you won't leave OK?"

"Erm, we're in my apartment. I think I'm a pretty captive audience right now." Piper smiled, a weak attempt at showing Alex she was OK with this. "Do you mind if I ask you something first? It's been on my mind since we talked that time at the store after you delivered those leaflets."

"That's fair….Are you going to ask if I dumped them PoPi leaflets in the trash and went to the pub for a couple of hours instead of delivering them?" Alex smiled, trying to deflect from the seriousness of the conversation they were having.

"I wasn't….but since you mention it….Did you?" Piper raised an eyebrow, joining in.

"Nope. Do I get a truth token for that?"

Piper smiled, but wanted to ask the real question before she lost her nerve and they started bantering.

"Alex…I want you to tell me how you got out of the cartel. I begged you to for so long….made all kinds of threats about leaving you, turning you in, anything I could think of….But you wouldn't leave, even when I'd packed my suitcase in Paris. You said it wasn't a job you could walk away from with your life. Yet here you are….Did you go to prison as well? I assume you did because it sounds like the whole ring was brought down."

Alex took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice steady as she spoke. She'd been expecting this conversation and dreading the moment for years already. It was almost a relief to tell it now and she knew Piper's reaction to this could make or break whether they had a hope of a future together.

"No. I didn't go to prison." Apparently not an answer that Piper was prepared for.

"What?! Are you fucking kidding me?!" Piper sat up now and turned to face Alex.

"Look, it's not as simple as it sounds. I paid my price, but prison wasn't part of it."

"The benefits of being able to afford a decent Lawyer hey? If only I'd have kept the drug money I moved for you, maybe I could have got the same deal paid with my ill-gotten gains." Piper never took her eyes off Alex and the brunette didn't dare meet her piercing stare for fear it might be the last time she saw her.

"Un-fucking-believable! You moved millions of dollars in drugs and money and I'M the one who ends up behind bars-." Alex sat up now, ready to stop Piper from walking away if she had to.

"Are you finished? Because I'm pretty sure the whole point of this honesty deal is listening to the other person who is giving you the warts and all truth. Do you want to hear it or are you going to close down and go into full on fucking Rambo mode without hearing me out?" Alex spoke in a measured tone, but her voice was raised and she hated the fact there was a sense of desperation in it.

Piper stood up and stormed towards the front door. Before Alex could grab her to stop her from leaving, she was at the door already. She grabbed the handle and opened the front door wide.

"Piper no!...Please!...You promised you'd stay!" Alex stood quickly and ran toward her.

"Don't fucking touch me Alex!"

"Alright I won't….I won't." The brunette held her hands up as though in surrender and stopped her progress across the room. Piper looked out of the doorway for a moment and slammed the door shut with them both inside the apartment still, beating her fists against the door and kicking it.

"FUCKING HELL ALEX! This is beyond fucked up!" Alex watched with wide eyes as Piper continued to beat at the door. She was relieved the blonde had stayed, but wasn't sure what the Hell she might do next, so she let her vent her anger and stayed where she was. As Piper pressed her head against the door, her limbs tired and bruised from the frustration, Alex called out to her and took a couple of steps towards her.

"Piper, I know you're angry about this but I want to explain-"

"I fucking know Alex." She said without turning around.

"Ok…good…..You'll listen then?"

"I know it was you who turned me in to the Feds."

"What?...W…what did you just say?" Alex stood in the middle of the room, slack-jawed from Piper's revelation. She'd been fully expecting to have to choke that confession out at some point during the night, so hearing Piper say she knew knocked her for six.

"I said I know you named me." Piper turned around to face her now.

"I've always known. It was a sealed testimony, but I never needed to know the names behind it because I knew from the very moment the police knocked on my door it was you." Piper spoke so quietly and slowly that Alex dared not breathe for fear of what might happen. Piper didn't say anything more, but maintained a steely glare at Alex from the back of the door.

"I'm sorry Piper. I'm so, so, sorry." Alex closed the gap, daring to reach out to Piper, who shrugged her away and avoided her eyes now.

"Don't…Just….don't come any fucking closer…" The brunette stood awkwardly a couple of feet away from Piper as she closed her eyes and got her breathing under control.

"Piper, please….listen to me. Don't shut me out now. I can't bear to lose you again." Alex was crying now, not bothering to wipe the tears or snot streaming down her face as she pleaded with Piper to remain in the room with her while they worked through this.

"Fuck! I thought I could do this…..I thought I could have this conversation with you without completely losing my shit….no matter what the truth was, I thought I was ready…."

"Pipes, just hear me-"

"Don't fucking call me that when you just told me you got off scott fucking free out of all of this!" Piper banged her hand off the door, making Alex jump.

The blonde's fists remained tightly balled and she couldn't keep them still as she paced and turned towards the door and away again.

"I can't stay in this room with you right now. I can't look at you without being reminded of what a fucking manipulative bitch you are." Piper spoke through clenched teeth and banged her fist on the door again behind her, emphasizing the last words. "I know I said I wouldn't leave, but I feel like I'm going to explode if I stay in this small space with you."

Alex dropped to her knees, sobbing. "Please don't go Piper. Please don't leave me again. You….you won't come back…You'll….stay away….from me." She was struggling to get the words out between sobs and trying to get air into her lungs now.

"I have to come back. This is my Gad-damned apartment. Just….stay here…..I'll come back…I just need to get out of here and away from you before I lose it completely….Stay there." With that, she grabbed her coat and pulled her sneakers on, slamming the door behind her as she left.

XXXXX

Alex collapsed onto the floor, letting out the tears she was struggling to hold in front of Piper. She felt foolish for thinking this could end in any other way than Piper hating her. After years of having this conversation in her head, she had probably rehearsed her responses to every possible reaction she might have gotten from her ex-girlfriend. Now the time was here and she saw the anger in Piper's eyes, she had no answers or heartfelt apologies that could assuage the fire in her eyes. She curled into a foetal position in front of the sofa and sobbed until the muscles in her torso ached and the sobbing produced no more tears.

It was getting late and Alex stood to look through the window, hoping that Piper was sitting on the steps outside the window. There was no sign of the blonde and a couple of hours had passed since she stormed out of the apartment. Alex wandered through the apartment in a daze, picking up framed photos of the blonde looking happy with Polly and then Cal in the lounge and wondering if she had kept any of their happy times together. Probably not she surmised. Eventually, she found herself standing in Piper's bedroom. She picked up a discarded t-shirt from the floor and inhaled the achingly familiar scent of Piper before sitting on her bed wishing she had gone after her so she knew she was OK. It was past midnight already and she had absolutely no idea where Piper might have gone. It was tempting to call Polly to see if she turned up there, but there would be a full scale search and rescue operation started if she did and Alex would be the big bad wolf yet again. No, Piper said she would come back and Alex needed to be patient and trust that she wasn't going to bail on her. She lay down on Piper's pillow, clutching the t-shirt to her chest and eventually drifted off to sleep.

XXXXX

Piper had slammed the door behind her, without any idea of where she was going to go. She couldn't breathe in that room and the fury burning inside of her was something she had not felt for a long time. It terrified her that she might not be able to control it in front of Alex and thought that somehow it might dissipate in the night air. Her legs wouldn't stay still and she walked at a furious pace through the streets of Brooklyn, not really paying attention to where she was heading or how she might get back. Fortunately, it was a mild night and the blood pumping around her body was keeping her warm as she paced the city streets as though she had a mission to accomplish. Although she had always been sure it was Alex who named her, hearing that she was never sent to prison like Piper had been for much less serious crimes was a shock. Alex always came up smelling of roses when anything turned to shit and she took it all in her stride. Unlike Piper, who always had to work at planning and preparing as though everything was a mini-project to be managed. She made lists, reminder notes, used highlighter pens, rehearsed her presentations, took sample tests to prepare for exams. Alex was the girl who wouldn't even turn up with a pen and still get top marks after charming one off the teacher and it pissed her off that this applied even in the eyes of the law.

Eventually, she wound up by the riverside, at the place she went running. Her legs had been on auto pilot and she thought about how much she'd missed being able to clear her head by pushing her legs harder on this paved track until a couple of weeks ago. She was reminded of the attack that had taken her independence and her anger boiled up again. She started running on the track and enjoyed the feeling of moving her legs only briefly before her ribs cried out with the pain of inhaling deeply. Fucking ribs. Fucking Darryl. Fucking Alex. Argh, she wasn't feeling any better. She looked up and saw a dive bar by the side of the riverside track. She had passed this place many times on her morning runs and thought it looked a bit rough. Maybe this could help her where the walking around in the cold night air couldn't.

She sat on a stool by the bar and rummaged through her pockets, suddenly remembering she didn't bring her purse with her. There was a pile of papers in her inside pocket and she pulled them all out to sort through them, hoping for a wrinkled note amongst the receipts that would get her a drink to take the edginess away a bit. The bar tender came over and asked what she'd like to drink and she asked for a double vodka before she realised she had no means of paying for it. The bartender came back with the drink and put it in front of her, asking if she'd like to open a tab. Piper thought to herself that Alex wouldn't think twice about the tab even if she had no money to settle it, but Piper couldn't bring herself to tell the lie.

"I….forgot my purse….I have no way of paying for that drink…I'm sorry." She mumbled as she went through her receipts again, hoping she might have missed something.

"Well, a little honesty is refreshing in here I guess. You look like you need that, so it's on me sweetheart." The bar tender smiled at her and pushed the drink further towards her before leaving to serve someone else. Piper downed the drink and it quenched the thirst only briefly before she wanted another. A guy in his mid-40's was sitting a couple of seats away from her and heard her exchange with the barman earlier. He moved to sit on the stool next to her, but didn't speak until she started going through the receipts again frantically thinking of a way to open a tab to get another.

"That's a story I've heard a few times. Looks like your sparkly blue eyes worked a treat there missy."

"What did you say? Are you accusing me of lying?!" She stared at him as though she might land a punch on his nose, part of her wanting the excuse to do it.

"Whoah, easy. Just saying, it's a sob story I've heard a lot in here."

"Do I look like I'm sobbing?" Piper gave him a steely glare.

"I guess not. Here, let me get you a drink…..By way of an apology." He turned to signal for the bar tender and Piper's blood ran cold. After a few moments of being unable to move or speak, she was overcome with nausea and ran outside. She was doubled over in the gutter, puking up her paella when the guy from the bar came out of the doorway.

"Hey, missy! What the Hell's wrong with you? You come in here pleading poverty for a drink and when you get one, you bolt right out of the door again?"

Piper started running, ignoring the pain in her ribs. When she couldn't run anymore, she stopped to lean against a wall and bent over to breathe. How stupid could she be?! Not only was a bar the absolutely worst place she could be when she was not in control of her emotions – that double vodka easily opened the door for finishing the bottle, but she had almost got a drink off a stranger. The whole bloody reason she couldn't go out on her own at the moment. She slumped down the side of the wall and let silent tears fall onto her coat. Why was she always able to lead herself down a path of self-destruction? It was pathetic, she was pathetic. It didn't seem to matter what she did, she'd always end up being a fucking victim. Alex was probably gone by now. She'd walked out on her with no explanation of where she was heading and the brunette was probably sick of her complaining when things didn't go her way. Why would someone like Alex even want to stay around a victim? Alex was strong, wily….she was never a victim, always the puppeteer. Alex never bemoaned her luck or blamed someone else for her misfortune. She was the spider after all and the fly was always going to be the victim.

XXXXX

It was nearing 4am when Piper opened the front door to her apartment, closing it behind her before heading to the sink for a glass of water. She didn't bother putting the lights on, knowing her way around was easy in the small space and she preferred being in the dark, in the shadows and left alone to feel sorry for herself. She drank a large glass of water and took some aspirin from the drawer before pouring another glass to take to bed.

The bedside lamp was on when she approached the door and she was surprised to find Alex lying on her bed, having assumed she'd have left by now. Piper froze in the doorway, not wanting to wake the sleeping brunette – partly because it was late and partly because she hadn't prepared for what she might say to her at this point. Piper put her glass of water down quietly next to Alex on the table by the bed before tiptoeing to close the blind over the window. She stood and gazed down at the sleeping woman she'd dreamed of having in her bed for so long. Those dreams were very different to the scenario in front of her now, but she smiled when she saw that Alex was holding one of her t-shirts as she slept.

Piper gently took Alex's glasses off and put them on the table next to the bed where Alex would know to find them and pulled the other side of the bed covers over the top of her. She found another t-shirt from her drawer and got the spare blanket to head for the sofa.

XXXXX

Alex woke with a start at a little after 6am and it took her a few moments to realise where she was and how she ended up here. She couldn't see anything and automatically reached out to the side of the bed to feel for her glasses.

"Ah, fuck!" She knocked a glass over on the side of the bed and sat up quickly to check the damage. Putting her glasses on, she found the switch for the lamp and realised she has spilled a large glass of water over one of Piper's books and it was running off the top. She jumped up to grab some kitchen towels, hurrying towards the kitchen sink and putting the light on in the lounge as she went so she could see where the Hell she was going.

"Ugh, Jesus." A muffled voice came from the sofa and Alex darted towards it to look over the top.

"Piper!" Seeing the blonde hair peeking out above the blanket she was using to shield her eyes from the light, Alex rushed around to the front of the sofa to make sure it really was her.

"You came back! Oh thank God you're OK." Alex hugged her over the top of the blanket, forgetting that the blonde might consider her the enemy.

"Er, yes. I'm back." Piper struggled to lift her head over the top of the blanket while Alex had her arms pinned to her sides.

Alex pulled the blanket down so she could see Piper and released her from the death grip hug.

"I'm so glad you came back. I….I was worried….you might not." The brunette twisted the blanket between her thumb and fingers as she spoke, wanting to stay close to Piper but not sure if touching her was allowed yet.

Piper avoided her eyes for a second before reaching for Alex's hand.

"I'm sorry for running out on you. I didn't know what else to do and I know I promised I wouldn't. I just felt so angry that I needed to blow off some steam I guess."

"You came back though and that's what matters." Alex stroked her thumb over the top of Piper's knuckles before leaning down to kiss it. "When did you get back? I didn't hear you come in."

"Around 4am I think? I haven't slept very much to be honest. This sofa isn't as comfy as you told me when you slept on it."

"Why don't you go to bed for a while then and catch up? It's not like you have to be anywhere today is it?"

"Now that sounds like a good idea." She rolled off the sofa and Alex helped her up onto her feet.

"Come with me?" They were still holding hands as Piper looked into green eyes, searching for something that said she wasn't going to leave.

"Are you sure?" Alex asked quietly.

"Yes. But just to be clear this is an invitation for a decent few hours of sleep where you aren't quite as over-dressed for the occasion maybe, but no sexy time. OK?" Piper looked up and down at Alex's dress and the fact she was still wearing her ruined make-up.

"What? My pyjama-dress and panda eyes not doing it for you?" Alex laughed.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: Part 2 of the truth amnesty. Hello to all the new followers of the story too, hope you guys are enjoying it. Thanks to firefrog25 and Librarybook for the reviews as usual. I love waiting for the reviews to come in after I post - it lets me know there's someone out there :-)**

"Shit, I knocked a glass of water over in your room. Sorry, I was on my way to clear it up. Lemme get a towel." Alex ripped some paper towels off and headed back to start mopping up the mess.

Piper followed her to the bedroom and walked to the bed, crawling under the covers, so ready for some sleep by now.

"Mmmm, sleep….Help yourself to a shirt." Piper closed her eyes and curled up, signalling she was done with talking.

Alex stood for a few moments awkwardly lingering by the side of the bed, before heading to the bathroom to get rid of her make-up and change into one of Piper's grey College tees and a pair of shorts. She came back to the room, feeling suddenly awkward about getting into bed with her ex. She had wanted to sleep in the same bed when Piper was staying over at Christmas, but that was when things seemed simpler. Piper had run out on her only a few hours ago after a particularly stormy conversation that had barely started and there was still a lot to talk about between them. For now, Alex took some solace in the fact that Piper had returned and was speaking to her still, both of which she hadn't expected if she was honest. She lifted the covers gently and slid into the bed softly, careful not to wake the sleeping blonde who was facing away from her. She turned onto her stomach and faced away from Piper, knowing that facing her would be too tempting to reach out to her as they slept. It took a long while for Alex to find sleep, but the sound of Piper's regular deep breaths next to her eventually lulled her to close her eyes.

XXXXX

It was after 11 when Alex was aware that her phone had been ringing on and off for about half an hour in the other room. She turned to see that Piper hadn't moved at all and was still curled up facing the window and sleeping soundly. Alex carefully climbed out of the bed to get her phone in the lounge. There were 7 missed calls from Polly and a voicemail. She called her without even checking the message to see what was so urgent.

"Finally! I've been calling you all morning!"

"Er, hello. What's the emergency?"

"Have you seen Piper? I was expecting her to be in the shop with me this morning and she's not picking up her phone. She's not supposed to be on her own…."

"Shit. She's at her apartment, I'm with her don't worry."

"Great that she's OK, but next time you two are overcome with lust can you at least send me a text to let me know? I nearly had the cops out!"

"It's not like that, we had a fight last night."

"About what?"

"She knows it was me who turned her over to the Feds. She ran out on me and didn't come back until 4am."

"Damn…..How is she?"

"Asleep right now, but she came back and I'm still here."

"Do you still think it's a good idea being back in her life? She's changed a lot since you guys were together and I can't run around cleaning up the mess around running this store on my own at the moment."

"I know what you're saying….And maybe you're right. It's complicated. But I need to find out. We need to find that out for ourselves. I'll ask her to call you when she wakes, OK?"

"Alright. Don't do anything stupid Alex. I don't think she's as over that attack as she's making out and…she's got….history…of doing crazy shit."

"I won't."

She hung up the phone and put some coffee on, sighing deeply as she leaned on the counter. She'd never put up with Piper's tantrums in the past because she didn't have time and because she didn't have to deal with any arguing for more than a couple of days when she was home before she was on a flight out of there. Piper would usually cool off with the distance between them and things would go back to normal again. Guilt was making it different this time. Guilt was making her humble and making her grit her teeth to confront their shit. It was new for both of them – blowing up and sticking around to work it through. Only now, Alex was acutely aware that Piper was covering up a lot of her past, her emotions and was a lot more guarded generally than she had ever known her to be.

She poured a coffee and went back to the bedroom to find Piper was sitting up in bed when she returned.

"Hey, did I wake you?"

"I heard you talking in the other room, but I was already waking anyway."

"It was Polly, just checking you were OK. She was expecting you in the store this morning."

"Ah…yes, forgot I'm not a lady of leisure anymore. Was she pissed?"

"No, just worried. I said you'd call her later. Do you want a coffee? I just made one."

"Not yet thanks."

"Can I sit down?" Alex was hovering again with her coffee.

"Yeah."

Alex put her mug down on the bedside table and sat against the pillows, bringing her legs up to cross them in front of her before reaching to pick the mug up again. The silence was thick between them suddenly and Alex was punctuating it with her frequent sips from the mug, more for something to do than because she was thirsty.

"Piper?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk about last night?" Alex was looking into her mug as she spoke.

Piper sighed heavily, as though she was annoyed by Alex bringing it up.

"Is there any point? What's done is done. We can't change the past by dragging it all up." Piper was trying to appear to be matter of fact, but there was still annoyance beneath the words.

"Honestly? There is every point in talking about it. You've not given me a chance to explain anything before damning me to Hell last night and I think the least you can do after I waited for you to blow off steam is to listen to my reasons."

Piper didn't say anything, so Alex continued.

"I didn't take any of the decisions I made lightly Piper. I didn't ask you to carry that money without knowing without doubt that I didn't have any other options. I didn't turn your name over to the Feds without knowing there was no other option for me either. I would never willingly hurt you, no matter what has happened between us. Please know that above all else."

There was still a stony silence emanating from Piper. She wasn't even looking at Alex as she spoke.

"Do you hate me?"

"…No." Piper didn't look up from her position.

Alex swallowed hard and drank her coffee, thinking what to say next.

"I hate that you weren't punished like I was punished. That's quite the fucking revelation frankly….. At the time, when I thought you turned me in and assumed you had already been sent down - I tried to hate you, at first….But I had a lot of time to think about things and there was more time than there was hate…And also, I learned to accept that I had committed a crime and I was being punished for it. I knowingly committed a crime and the law brought me to account for it."

Alex could sense the anger again and thought it best to let the blonde say what was on her mind while she was in the sharing mood. It was better than her running out as at least she could understand where her head was at with this. After a while, it was clear that Piper wasn't going to continue.

"Can you forgive me?" Alex whispered, knowing she was asking for something so big it could be understandably refused.

Piper stood upright and walked to look out of the window by the door before responding softly. "Forgiveness is something I can only consider when I understand why you did it…Was it to get me back for leaving you in Paris?"

"No Piper. I could never do something like that to you out of spite or revenge….. Please know that….Will you sit with me and hear me out? I'll tell you anything you want to know, I promise." Piper sat back down on the bed, mirroring Alex's cross-legged position now.

"I drank a lot after you left, but the hangovers and missed days were no good for my work. Plus it made me more miserable, so I ended up using the stuff we were supplying. Just a little at first to pick me up and give me a buzz when I was out with mules…I….got involved with a couple of them and started taking more….Too much… and I got careless. I was completely out of it one day when the hotel room I wound up in got busted by the cops. The girl I'd been with got out and left me there. The cops were just responding to a complaint from the neighbours about the noise, so it wasn't even a drugs bust…" The irony wasn't lost on Alex that something as innocuous as a noisy hook up ended up being the frayed thread that caused everything to unravel.

"They weren't even going to take me in for processing because they couldn't be hassled with the paperwork for a druggie when all they wanted was to bark out an order to pipe down and be on their way….I could have taken a rap on the knuckles for noise and been left to sleep it off, but something inside me saw an opportunity on my doorstep. So I told them I had information that would interest them about a drug cartel."

Piper was surprised to hear Alex saying she had volunteered information about the cartel to the police when she'd gone to great lengths over years of working with Kubra to hide all manner of illegal dealings. She shuddered to think of what Alex might have seen or ordered in her years working for Kubra, glad to have been shielded from that by Alex.

"When was this? Recently?"

"Um, maybe 6 months after you left I think….They made me get clean while I carried on working for Kubra and I had to basically work for them and help them build a case. It took them a year to finally get what they wanted…A year of living in constant fear of being found out….I've seen what Kubra did to people if he even suspected they were ripping him off or thinking of leaving. It was an awful existence, stabbing people in the back who had been my friends in a ruthless business for years and knowing the cops would drop me in a beat if I became compromised. I gritted it out because I saw a legitimate possibility of being able to leave the cartel and that was the only thing I could see that might make you want to be with me again. I lived on coffee and adrenalin for that year, always sleeping with one eye open and letting nobody get close. Kubra thought I was over you and now extra-committed to my work, so he was more than happy when profits were increasing as I worked harder than ever to pull off bigger deals."

"You turned in evidence against Kubra?!" Piper was shocked that this was the way Alex had managed to leave the cartel. She knew of more than a couple of people who mysteriously disappeared when Kubra got paranoid and it wasn't the kind of job where you could hand in your notice and train up your replacement for a month before skipping into a new career.

"Yes."

"Fuck."

"I think the profits increase blinded him to anything that he'd normally got suspicious about. In fact, he gave me more power to do things my own way as time went on. It was dangerous because the stakes got higher and more people lower down the food chain were gunning for me to fall on my face."

"Shit Alex…. He could've killed you…."

"I knew that before I even spoke to the police. But I looked at what my life had become…it was all about the work…It was a constant struggle to maintain my position in the cartel…hook ups with mules who only wanted to be with me for my status in the cartel, not trusting anyone and constantly moving around without anyone to care if I lived or died anyway. I might as well try and leave or die knowing that I tried to do the right thing."

"So, they offered you a deal?"

"Yeah."

"What was it Alex? What was it they offered you instead of a prison sentence?"

"They wanted the people at the top, but they knew I wasn't bothered about turning them in. The deal I was working for meant me serving no time at all and securing some of my assets so I had something to live on when my life in the cartel came crashing down….I was risking my life and a very nasty death for a year by bringing down one of the biggest drug rings operating in mainland Europe. My Lawyer was going to get the best possible deal in exchange for that kind of information." Alex took Piper's hand in both of hers and looked at her closely as she spoke now.

"The only way they would honour that is if I gave everyone up, without holding back on the information. I knew one of the others would turn you in without so much as blinking when they started bringing people in and if I kept your name off the records, they would take the deal off the table and I'd end up in prison with nothing but a certain death by shanking. Enough people knew you were my girlfriend, even if they didn't know about you transporting the money and they would have brought you in…..I had no choice Piper…..Do you understand that?"

Piper said nothing, but looked away.

"Piper I know you think I got off lightly. And after what you told me earlier, you're right. I can't imagine what you went through in there and I will never forgive myself for doing that to you. Knowing only a little of what you've been though makes me sick to my stomach, but please believe that my life in that deal was on a constant knife edge and I've been very lucky it came through. The odds were stacked against me surviving that from the start and I made myself accept that I'd meet a grim death, I just didn't know when it would happen."

Piper was quiet for a while, looking down at their hands before pulling hers away and stuffing them underneath her legs.

"That took some balls."

Alex thought about it for a moment before replying. "Not really. When you have nothing to live for, you don't worry about dying either." The words hung in the air between them, each lost in their own understanding of that simple sentence for a while before Piper spoke first.

"What happened to Kubra?"

"At the time the Feds were planning to move in and make the arrests, he was going through some serious turf war stuff with a guy they called El Wapo who was a South American kingpin with a rival cartel. There had been a few not-so subtle threats exchanged between them over a couple of months – each time the message was a little more brutal and there were body parts going in either direction. Kubra was on high alert and when the Feds were arranging a location to swoop and pick up the top guys in the cartel, he thought it was El Wapo and the Feds walked into a bloody gunfight with Kubra and his head honchos. There was a heavy body count on both sides and Kubra was killed along with the rest of his top guys and henchmen…..They got Fahri too."

Alex went quiet, thinking of the friends she had sent to their deaths through her deal to get out of the cartel. She hadn't expected it to end like that, but it had a degree of finality about it that meant there were fewer witnesses to her double-crossing them. It didn't change the fact that nobody had forced her to get involved in the cartel and Fahri had simply made her an offer of a better lifestyle where she wasn't scratching around for money like her Mom had all of her life. Alex had accepted it and had a Hell of a good life in terms of the places she got to see, the lifestyle she had afforded and the thrill of the big deals being pulled off. She had repaid their faith in her by getting them killed, all the while pretending to be on side and friendly with them. She didn't have many friends and turning her back on them was against every principle she had. But it was also the only way out of the cartel and there were no other options open to her other than her own death. It was a close call even on those terms.

"The Feds made it look like a gang war shoot out and El Wapo didn't dispute it as he could take over Kubra's territories and take the kudos of taking out his main rival. They made a few lower level arrests when the dust settled after the shoot out to make it look like it was unrelated activity from the Police and the ring was effectively shut down. Everyone arrested assumed I was taken out in the gunfire and I was released to get on with my life as long as I kept a low profile away from my old area of business."

Piper rubbed her head wearily and clenched her jaw as she digested everything that Alex had told her that morning. Knowing the truth about something that she'd already filed away as being dealt with was like throwing her past up in the air and shifting the perspective. She wasn't sure how she felt about the new version of the truth and sensed Alex's eyes on her, looking for at least some confirmation that she had heard her words.

"I need to process all of this Alex. It's a lot to take on board at the moment…" She smiled weakly before uncrossing her legs and standing up. "I'm going to make a coffee. Did you want to freshen up?"

"Yeah, I'll get a shower actually if that's OK? Can I borrow some sweats since I slept in my dress last night?"

"Help yourself, just look through the drawers here when you're done."

XXXXX

Piper was sitting at the breakfast bar, finishing a text apologising to Polly when Alex came in wearing her yoga pants and a Red Sox hoodie.

"Hey."

"Oh hey. Feel better after a shower?"

"Much. I wish your bras were my size though." Alex smiled.

"Yeah, I guess I'm still a late developer. You want some toast?" Piper stood and walked to the fridge to see if there was anything more filling than the couple of slices of toast she'd just made do with.

"I was thinking maybe we could walk to a coffee shop and get some fresh air and lunch if you fancy it? I think we could both use a leg stretch."

"Actually yes, that does sound good. Let me shower quickly and I'll be right back."

Piper locked the door behind them and they walked in silence for a couple of minutes after they decided where they were heading. It was tempting to smooth over the earlier conversation and switch to another subject, but Alex wanted to square things off properly before that happened and spoke first.

"You OK?"

"Yeah…It just…changes things you know."

"Like what?"

"Like…I don't know. Just…like things I've known as my truth have been changed and I don't know how to deal with that I guess."

"But the result is the same. Your feelings then and now are the same. It's just you know more information than you did when you were having those feelings originally. Nothing changed only I told you my side of things. Your side is the same."

Piper thought about it for a moment before replying.

"Well, yes. But I guess I filled in your side of the story with my own version of events and that's the truth that changed."

"OK. I get that…. But your version says I turned you in and you were right. The only thing that changed is that you know why now. Surely knowing I did it to leave and bring down the cartel is better than you thinking I did it out of revenge?"

"I know…..It is. It's just a shock I think."

"Alright….If you have any questions, just ask me. I've been honest with you, as you asked. You scared the shit out of me running off like that last night."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do."

"Maybe it was the right thing to do, but I want to go with you if it happens again. I don't want you running away from me every time you get angry and I think maybe we need to think about that exercise to get the anger out of your system."

Piper shrugged as she felt Alex's eyes on her.

"For now, let's get some hot food and strong caffeine into our bodies in here."


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Hope you're having a good weekend so far - everyone busy with their Stash Plan books? Me neither ;-) Thanks for the new follows and reviews as always. I love how you pick up on the little details and have your conspiracy theories about what that detail might mean later. Nothing gets past you guys! Yes to all of those people who think Piper has some deeper issues, you are quite right! Hope you like the next instalment. Here goes...**

Piper went to find a seat by the window while Alex placed their orders at the counter. She pulled her phone out of her bag and called Polly to apologise for not turning up this morning.

"Hey Pol."

"Oh hey, you're alive then?"

"Yeah, sorry about today. I totally forgot I said I'd be at the store this morning."

"It's OK. SuperCunt filled me in. Is she there now?"

"No, well she's getting us some coffee so she'll be back in a minute."

"Are you OK? She told me you had a fight last night."

"It's fine. She finally told me the truth about how she turned me in and I ended up in prison. I was pretty pissed last night. I think maybe I still am."

"Well it's not exactly a big surprise to you. You pretty much assumed it was her from the start, so I guess that's not what you're pissed about. What are your plans for New Year?"

"Um, I haven't thought about it actually. Are you going out with Pete?"

"He's going out with the boys tonight. He said I could come along but we can stay in and watch romcoms and drink wine if you're fancying it?"

"That sounds pretty good actually. I really don't fancy fighting through the pubs and clubs tonight. It will be crazy and expensive. You sure you don't mind a quiet night in?"

"God no. A chance to put my feet up and not have to queue for a drink all night sounds perfect to me."

"OK, I'll come round later tonight then. I'll bring some wine and my PJs."

"Cool, see you tonight."

Piper hung up and sent a quick text to Cal to check he and Neri were still planning to come around to visit tomorrow as Alex came back with a tray of food.

"Thanks. Is the ham one mine?"

"Yeah, they are both the same anyway."

Alex sat down and put the tray to one side before taking her coat off. Piper was avoiding her eyes as she focused on her lunch as though it was the most interesting piece of bread in the world. The brunette clenched her jaw at yet another stony silence from Piper, but she refused to be drawn into another argument.

"So when's your appointment with the VSU woman?"

"Monday morning. I want to get it over with as quickly as possible. It's a bit pointless."

"Why?"

"Why do I want it over?"

"Yes and why is it pointless?"

"Because it's a load of horse shit. All that sitting there talking about your feelings. What good does it do? She can't turn back time and change what happened so what's that point in sitting and discussing it all the time? I just want to get all the boxes ticked and get the all clear from Dr Shetty and get on with my life now."

"But he must think it helps, or he wouldn't be saying you need a couple more sessions before he checks you over again."

Piper scoffed at the idea. "He just wants to put notes in his file that he had someone else check I wasn't going to go batshit crazy. Trust me, it's a box to tick in his file too. He'll give me the all clear once I get this second session out of the way."

"Weren't you supposed to think of some sort of exercise idea to get rid of your anger before Monday then?"

"Yeah. I'll just say I'm taking up spinning classes or something. That will do."

"Piper…..is spinning classes actually going to be something you can do whenever you get angry?"

"It doesn't fucking matter Alex. She just wants to write that I'm following her advice. She's not going to check all the health clubs in New York to see if I'm attending."

"She's recommending exercise because you need a way to deal with your anger. Pretending to follow that advice isn't going to help you."

"What is it with you dishing out the fucking life advice Alex? What makes you the expert all of a sudden?" Piper was clearly looking for another argument and she dropped her lunch before grabbing her coat to leave.

Alex sighed and ran to follow her outside.

"I'm not giving you advice Piper. I'm saying there's no benefit to you in lying to your Doctor or the VSU. They are seeing you because they think you need help. They can't make you follow their advice but why not try? It might help." Alex shouted after her when she finally caught the blonde.

"Help?! Is it going to change the fact that half the neighbourhood saw me with my dress hiked over my waist lying on the ground? Is it going to give me my dignity and self-respect back Alex? Is going for long walks in the park going to change the fact that I was too fucking weak and pathetic to stop a man from humiliating me again?" Piper's eyes burned with rage and she stared at Alex for only a second before turning to walk away as fast as her legs would go.

Alex stood in the street, too dumbfounded to react fast enough to stop Piper from leaving. She couldn't predict where this rage would come from or what might cause it, so she was at a loss as to how to deal with it. She felt ill-equipped to give Piper the kind of help she clearly needed, but Piper wasn't taking the professional support seriously either. She ran down the street, looking for her and saw her rounding a corner to her apartment.

"Piper!...Piper wait!...Will you just stop for a second?!" Alex caught her by the arm and turned her around.

"I don't know what to say to you or what to do to help you Piper."

"Join the fucking club." Piper pulled her arm away and started to walk again.

"Jesus, you're impossible! I'm trying to help you here, but I can't if you're gonna keep being an ass."

"Fuck off then. It's not like you've been around for the last 4 years anyway. Get on with your own life Alex and stop trying to give me charity as your way of dealing with your fucking guilt." Piper spat over her shoulder and didn't stop walking.

"Piper!" Alex stopped walking.

"Seriously, just fuck off. You've offloaded your guilt now. You're free to do whatever you want. This is as close to a Hail Mary as you're gonna get."

Alex didn't follow her after that and let her walk away. She leaned against the wall for a few minutes, running through what just happened in her head. Piper was always prone to mood swings, but this anger that she had borne the brunt of twice in the last 24 hours was on a completely different level. There was clearly something wrong and Piper wasn't in the mood for sharing with her, neither was Alex in the mood for being treated like a punch bag. Last night, she had accepted because she had sent her ex-girlfriend to prison and had been prepared for every possible reaction from her in finding out the truth. This morning was not her fault by any stretch, but the last 24 hours of being verbally assaulted meant she was drained quite frankly. She kicked back off the wall and walked to hail a cab home.

She looked at her phone to see some group messages from Nicky, Poussey and Taystee making plans for New Year's Eve tonight. After catching up on the plans to meet in Sandy's at 6pm, she texted back to say she would see them there and boy was she ready for a drink tonight.

XXXXX

Piper kept her head down as she walked back to her apartment, lifting her eyes only to cross the street. Seeing a liquor store on the corner, she decided to take a detour and pick up that wine she promised to take over to Polly's later. She picked up a basket and added 4 bottles of wine and headed towards the counter, before spying vodka by the check out. She picked up 2 bottles and added them to her total as the cashier totalled it up.

It was only 3pm and Piper had plenty of time before Polly would be closing the shop, so she kicked off her shoes and ran a bath so she could try and relax before she met her best friend. It would do her good to have a long soak to forget about the last 24 hours of drama and she was looking forward to having a drink later.

XXXXX

Alex was dressed in black leather pants, a black silk shirt that was rolled up above her elbows and killer heels as she met the group in Sandy' bar. Her long black hair was loose and poker straight, accentuating her winged black eyeliner and red lipstick. She slid into a booth next to Nicky and helped herself to a beer off the table.

"Evening ladies! Ready for finishing the year in style?" Alex raised her beer and an eyebrow at the group.

"Hell yes!" Shouted Poussey and they all raised their drinks to clink the start of the night.

Alex downed half of her beer in the first drink. The cold taste was refreshing and it was tempting to finish it in one – well, it was only a small bottle really.

"So, blondie's not joining us tonight then Vause?" Nicky asked as she saw her put her bottle back down.

"Nope. No blondie tonight." Alex said in a very cavalier manner as she looked directly at the shorter woman.

"OK….but you were with her all day right?"

"Yep. So my shift is over now."

"Did she get a better offer?" Nicky was surprised that Piper wasn't joining them, especially if she had spent all day with her tall best buddy.

"Better than this? I doubt it." Alex snorted.

"So where is she tonight?"

"I'm not her keeper Nicky. I don't know. Probably with her psycho friend Molly I guess." She shrugged her shoulders.

Nicky could sense it might be a sore subject so opted to drop it and offered to get another round in.

They drank flaming sambucas next before another round of beers and Alex was starting to relax into the banter of the group. Taystee was showing them the dating app that she met her new boyfriend on and they all crowded around the screen to see how it worked with selecting potential dates. It was quite hilarious for the only straight girl in the group to have her gay friends choosing whether to swipe left or right for who they thought was a suitable match for her. She called time on it when they rubbished 95% of every male match she showed them.

"That's enough you guys! If I had to rely on your judgement to find me a man I might as well become a nun! There's only one guy you said maybe on out of all of those and that was only because I said you HAD to say yes to at least one of them."

"What? We're just helping you be very selective on who you choose is all." Poussey reasoned.

"Yeah, you don't want to waste your time on any of those others. We're saving you from a night of boring talk about the stock market or Daddy's ski chalet." Nicky added her views.

"Are you kidding me? Those guys were wearing baggy pants and snap back hats. There ain't no man in that selection with a ski chalet and if they talkin' 'bout a Daddy it ain't the guy they was bred from that's fo' sho'." Taystee had them all in fits of laughter.

Alex brought them 4 beers each for the drinking game as they prepared to play 'drink while you think' to make the most of the happy hour specials in the bar as it started to get busy. Poussey started with 'Kim Kardashian' and Taystee barely took a sip before she got to say 'Kanye West'. Nicky was similarly quick when she said 'Walt Whitman'. Alex was already drinking while thinking when she realised Nicky had broken the rules.

"Wait a minute. That's a fictional character! You can't have that. Get back to drinking while you think of another." Nicky shrugged and started chugging her beer, getting half way down before breaking for air and gasping 'Walt Disney'.

The game continued until the beer was running low and Nicky went to get some more while Alex and Poussey went to the rest room. It was getting busy in there now and Alex was at the sink washing her hands when she was tapped on the shoulder.

"Well, hello there stranger. Fancy seeing you in here." It was Nicky's squeeze from the other night, Lucy. Not that Alex could actually remember her name if she was honest, so she avoided mentioning it.

"Oh, hey. Yeah, gotta make the most of a happy hour at New Years' right?" Alex smiled.

"So, who are you out with?" Lucy grinned.

"Is that you not so subtly asking if Nicky is with me?" Alex raised her eyebrow, seeing if the girl was seeking her best friend out for a third time now.

"Not necessarily. I'm a free agent. Maybe I want to see what else is on offer at your table." She shrugged.

"Yeah, Nicky is here. We're over by the back opposite the bar. No chance of getting anywhere near the pool table tonight I think." Alex laughed and dried her hands to leave.

"Cool. Maybe we'll stop by later if you're staying." It sounded like a question, but Alex just smiled before closing the door behind her.

After another round of shots, Alex was starting to feel the effects from the drinks and joined Taystee on the small dancefloor. Nicky and Poussey were not going to be seen dancing for any amount of drink or money so they stayed in the booth. The jukebox was switched off tonight in favour of a constant mix of good dance music. Taystee was throwing down some serious moves and Alex was doing her best to keep up. They had been dancing for 5 or 6 songs when Alex felt someone's hands on her hips behind her. Fully expecting it to be a creepy dude who had too much to drink, she lifted the fingers off her pants and pushed them behind her. A few seconds later the hands were back again, this time a little higher on her ribs, roaming over towards her stomach as the song hit the chorus. She looked down to see long, slim fingers moving over her shirt. Definitely not a hairy dude then. She felt the woman behind her pull Alex into her front, pressing her hips into Alex's backside in time with the music. Alex smiled at the contact and put her hands over the top of the other woman's to move them down over her hips as they danced together.

Taystee turned and rolled her eyes, but carried on dancing in front of Alex, enjoying the music enough to just get herself lost in it among the throng of people on the dancefloor. Alex raised her arms up over her head as she danced, which allowed the woman behind her to move her hands move freely over Alex's body and she took full advantage as she squeezed her ass when their hip contact was broken briefly before pulling Alex back towards her firmly. Alex bent her knees to grind back into the stranger and she felt lips gently moving over the back of her neck, kissing her softly and making their way towards her ear now.

"Are you enjoying yourself Miss Vause?"

"Mhmm. I have a feeling there's more enjoyment to be had tonight though." Alex smiled wickedly without turning around.

"Really?" The voice was low in her ear.

"Yeah, if you're up for a little enjoyment that is?"

"That depends on who I'm going to be enjoying I guess." She spun Alex around and crashed their lips together. Their lips parted almost immediately as each sought to taste the other, tongues battling for dominance against each other among the throng of dancers on the small dancefloor. They were being jostled about as their hands started roaming to areas that was far too much PDA to stay put, so Alex took the lead and took them off the dancefloor and towards the rest room. The bar had just announced 2 for 1 cocktails for ladies, so the women were running in the opposite direction to the rest room as luck would have it. Alex was pulled into a stall in the corner and she locked the door behind them before putting her hands on the wall either side of the other woman's face and leaning into her.

"So, now that you have my attention….what is it exactly that you'd like to do with it?" Alex was leaning over the other woman, breathing onto her neck and was fully aware of the effect she was having on her.

"Well, I…"

Alex pulled back slightly so she was face to face with the other woman now, only a couple of inches between them. "I'll help you shall I? How about you don't take your eyes off mine while you shimmy up that little dress of yours until it's around your waist? Go on, we don't have all night."

The other woman didn't waste any time before hiking her dress up, revealing small black panties. Alex grinned wickedly, knowing exactly what was coming next.

"Good girl. Now…do you want to show me what's inside those cute little-"

"Alex! Alex are you in there?!" There was suddenly someone banging on the cubicle door. Alex's eyes went wide at the voice on the other side of the door.


	38. Chapter 38

38\. "Shit!" Alex cursed through gritted teeth.

"Alex! I know you're in there. I need to talk to you."

Sarah looked back at her with raised eyebrows. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She pulled her dress back down and straightened it before moving to undo the lock. Alex reached out and pushed the door closed.

"Wait a second will you?!" She hissed under her breath.

"What for? You just got busted by your girlfriend. I don't know whether I can be bothered to stay and watch the shit storm you're about to get into. To be honest, I had something a little more orgasmic in mind, so I might just get on my way." She pulled the door open and left Alex glaring at her back as she left the room. Alex walked out and leaned against the wall, sighing heavily.

"Alright, you found me. What's the fucking emergency Polly?"

Polly's eyebrows were still raised from watching Alex's female companion walk out of the rest room and the gestured her head towards the door as she spoke.

"Seriously? What, Piper wouldn't put out for you so you couldn't fucking wait Alex?!"

The brunette rolled her eyes and bit down on her lip to stop any pathetic excuses from leaving her mouth while she was still quite drunk. There was no point in arguing a case with Polly right now.

"What are you, the chastity police? Why are you following me?"

"I'm not following you dumbass. It's just my luck that I find you cheating on my best friend in a damned toilet cubicle while I'm trying to mind my own business though."

"I'm not cheating on anyone. We're not together in case you haven't noticed. And how did you know I was in there?"

"I saw Nicky at the bar."

"Oh. Well now you've ruined my chances of getting laid, can I go?"

"No you can't. What the fuck was that about Alex?! I didn't let you walk back into Piper's life to mess with her head and screw around on her. I thought you were going to show her that you're a grown up now and could deal with her like one. Do I need to remind you about all of the times I warned you that getting involved with her was a bad idea? I didn't do that for your benefit Alex, I did it for hers. If you screw her over so help me I'll lose my shit with you!" Polly was jabbing her finger at Alex, stopping short of contact, but threatening nonetheless.

"She's no angel Polly. I've tried to be patient, supportive and I've run around after her while she's not been well. She has made it perfectly clear she doesn't appreciate or need any such thing from me, so I'm not going to sit waiting for her to come around and treat me like an actual human being. We're also not together, so I'm free to do whatever I want." Alex crossed her arms, leaning against the wall defiantly.

"You two will drive me to an early grave, I swear it…." Polly sighed, closing her eyes.

"You're gonna have to dig a bit deeper if you want to break down her barriers Alex. She's a little tougher than the Piper you put into prison but she's also a lot more fragile. It's fucked up, but I won't let you fucking break her if you're not going to be serious about winning her over. She'd be better off watching you walk away right now if hooking up with girls in bars is where you're ambitions are."

"I don't think that's f-"

"Save it." Polly held her palms up to stop any further talking from Alex. "I'm not here to win votes or debate anything and I'm certainly not interested in getting involved in Vauseman drama. I only came in here to find out where Piper is. So, where is she?"

"Vauseman?!" Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. Vauseman. Where is she Alex?"

"How should I know? The last time I saw her was 3 o'clock when she was telling me, in no uncertain terms, to fuck off. So I did, and I was about to get to a more literal interpretation of that particular direction when you rudely interrupted me."

"You haven't seen her since 3? Where was she?"

"On her way home I guess. She stormed off in her usual blaze of glory in that direction anyway."

"Fuck. I have to go find her. I thought she was with you" Polly started to walk away when Alex grabbed her arm.

"Why would you think she was with me?"

"Because she was supposed to be coming to my place tonight for a quiet night in. She sent me a text at about 5pm saying she had decided to head out to the bars with you and Nicky instead and I should go out with Pete. Fortunately, Pete's mates wanted to come in here for happy hour and I bumped into Nicky."

"I would leave her to calm down if I were you. She's been pretty pissed at me for the last 24 hours and maybe she needs some space to think or something."

Polly pulled her arm away.

"Jesus Alex. Space is the last thing you give Piper when she's angry. If you had any idea at all who she is, you would know that. Fuck! She's been on her own for like 7 hours or something already. I have to go." Polly started running before shouting back to Alex to tell Pete that she's gone to Piper's place.

Alex thought the whole thing was a bit melodramatic and sauntered back into the bar to find Nicky.

"Have fun in there stretch?" Nicky grinned.

"Not exactly. You could have left it another 5 minutes before you sent her in you know."

"You must need a longer warm up these days hey Vause? To be fair, I would have put her off your scent if she wasn't so stressed out when she found out Piper wasn't out with us."

"Mmm. Even when I'm trying forget her with someone else, she's there with a personal reminder. Polly's stressing over nothing. She's honestly better off just leaving Piper to stew in her own venom for a while and then it will all blow over. That's how she is – hot and cold." Alex shrugged.

"You want another beer? Where's Poussey and Taystee at?"

"Um, Poussey is trying her luck with a College girl over there and Taystee went to meet her new squeeze at a bar down the road. Looks like half of us are getting a New Year's kiss anyway. Don't leave me hanging at midnight Vause." Nicky winked as Alex stood up to go to the bar, shaking her head.

While she was waiting to be served, she spotted Pete in a group of loud jocks further down. Remembering that she was supposed to let him know Polly left, she made her way over to them and tapped him on the shoulder to be greeted by a couple of loud wolf whistles.

"Hey baby, you came to exactly the right place with that fine ass of yours." One of the grinning buffoons leered at her as Pete turned around to see who they were looking at.

"Haha, hey Alex!" He leaned in to kiss her cheek before turning to the others with his arm around her shoulder.

"This lady right here is so far out of your league you wouldn't believe mate. You can join the very long line of men taking cold showers after laying eyes on the smoking hot Alex Vause." He winked at Alex before turning away so they could talk.

"I heard you were in here somewhere. We saw Nicky when we arrived. Where's Piper?"

"Long story. She didn't come out with me and Polly's worrying about her being on her own. Told me to tell you that she's gone to her place to see if she's OK." Alex relayed the information like she was telling him what was wrong with his car.

"Polly's gone to find her? Shit, sounds serious." Pete furrowed his brow and Alex was even more confused.

"She's alright to stay on her own you know. The Doctor said it was fine for her to be on her own at night. I don't know why everyone has their panties in knots over her."

"I don't think it's that Alex. I don't know the whole story, but I know Polly wouldn't leave a New Year's Eve party with 2 for 1 cocktails if there wasn't a reason to be worried."

XXXXX

Polly managed to catch a cab fairly quickly outside the bar and headed straight over to Piper's place. She had been calling her since she got outside on her cell phone but it was ringing out. Her leg jiggled nervously in the back of the cab, even though it was only a short ride and she quickly paid the driver as soon as he pulled up outside. The lights were off in the apartment as far as she could see but it could mean she went to bed early. She hoped it meant she was sound asleep and she was about to get a mighty ear bashing for waking her up as she approached the door.

She still had a key from all of the toing and froing over the hospital visits, so she let herself in quietly. After fumbling around for the light switch, she closed the door behind her and saw Piper lying face down on the sofa.

"Piper! Thank God you're here…Piper?...Can you hear me?!" Polly walked over to where Piper was sleeping, whisper-shouting as though the urgency would come through in her voice despite it being a whisper. She put her hands on Piper's shoulders and shook her gently. Her skin was a little cold, but she was lying in a t-shirt with the heating turned off. She began shaking her more violently now as she saw an empty vodka bottle lying on its side by the sofa. The blonde was showing no signs of waking and Polly started to panic about how much Piper might have drunk. She tried to hoist her by her arms, but she was a dead weight. Polly ran to the kitchen for a bucket and saw a tub of painkillers on the side. Her blood ran cold.

She fumbled for her phone in her pocket and called Alex.

XXXXX

Nicky was sitting with her arm around Lucy now, so that was 3 out of 4 with a New Year's squeeze Alex thought dejectedly. She could have been the first one to get her rocks off if it hadn't been for Polly.

"Well I think I'll leave you guys to see in the New Year and get home before the great taxi drought of 2016 hits after midnight." She slapped Nicky's thigh as she stood up to leave.

"No, you can't leave now. It's like 15 minutes to midnight!" Nicky tried, even though she knew her mind was already made up.

"Yeah, 15 minutes until drunk dudes are pawing at me trying to land their lips on me just because the calendar flipped over a day. No thanks. I'd rather be in the back of a quiet cab, safe from the testosterone of New York. You ladies enjoy the moment though and have fun starting off 2016. Three times means you're a long term commitment right Nicholls?" Alex winked as she put her jacket on.

"Depends what you're counting. The first night was long term if everything comes in threes." Nicky grinned, nudging Lucy who was blushing now.

"Really? Well at least you set a low bar to improve on tonight then Nicholls." The brunette punched her gently on the shoulder and headed over to the door.

She got into the back of a cab and was on her way home when her phone started ringing. Alex pulled it out of her pocket and read the call I.D., rolling her eyes at what was bound to be an earful of abuse over her daring to have a life that didn't revolve around Piper.

"You're a little early with the New Year wishes. Maybe you should call back in-"

"Shut up Alex and get over to Piper's place now. She's out cold and I don't know if she's taken a load of pills!" Polly sounded frantic and she could hear she was trying not to cry.

"What?...What the fuck are you calling me for? Call a damned ambulance!"

"On New Year's Eve? We can't wait that long! I need your help to empty her stomach….I….I…can't lift her Alex! You've got to help me!"

"Turn around! I need to go back to Brooklyn!" Alex banged on the driver partition.

"Is she breathing Polly?" Alex tried to be calm, but it was very difficult when the cab driver had the radio on and they were caught at every red light in the city it seemed.

"I'll check….." It seemed to take an age for Polly to come back to the phone.

"Polly! Is she breathing?!"

"I can't tell. How do I find out? I can't see her moving like she's breathing….She's not making any noise Alex! Oh fuck!"

"Can you just breathe for a second Polly and calm down? Put three of your fingers on her neck at her pulse point, about two inches below her chin. Is there a pulse?" Alex swallowed hard as soon as she managed to squeak the words out.

Alex knocked on the partition again. "Listen, I have an actual life or death situation I need to get to here. I need you to break any rule in the book to get me there as soon as you possibly can. I'll pay any fines, get you a Lawyer, or even a new fucking job if anything bad happens because you ran lights, but please get me there now!"


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Hope you've enjoyed the last couple of cliffhanger chapters? Sorry to my Guest reviewers who are going bald - I promise I'll try and give you a chance to grow it back in between angst-filled sections! Double update this weekend my dear readers :-) Thanks for the reviews as always and I'm glad you're still with me on the Vauseman ride. Read on to see what happens to Piper...**

The driver pulled up outside Piper's apartment and Alex threw him a handful of notes as she climbed out of the back.

"Will you stay there for 5 mins? If I don't come back out, you can go. If not, I need you to take us to hospital." The driver could see she was stressed and agreed quickly, shouting after her that he hoped her friend was OK.

She didn't answer before running to the door and pushing it open with her hip as she turned the handle. Polly was bent over Piper, trying to lift her up as her arms kept raising above her head and Polly lost her grip again. She was sobbing as she heard Alex come through the door.

"Alex! Thank God, I can't lift her up!"

"Is she breathing Polly? Get out of the way!"

Alex rushed to kneel beside Piper, who was now face down on the floor in front of the sofa. She checked her pulse, tuning out Polly who was rambling frantically to recall every detail of what she had found since coming into the apartment. After a while, she turned her onto her back and leaned over her to see if she was breathing.

"Shut up will you?!"

It seemed like an eternity passed before Alex shifted her body and asked Polly to give her a hand to carry Piper to the bathroom.

"She's breathing but she's out cold. What's she taken Polly?" Alex pushed past her to stagger to the bathroom, struggling to carry Piper's dead weight through the doorway.

"Vodka. A lot of vodka and maybe some painkillers, I can't tell though." Polly was running after her with Piper's limp arm pulled around her neck.

Alex braced herself to lean Piper over the bathtub and put her fingers into her mouth to see if her gag reflex would kick in.

"Hold her head up by her hair while I see if she'll wake up…PIPER!...Come on Pipes….."

Piper coughed as Alex put her fingers to the back of her throat.

"Atta girl. Come on Pipes, wake up."

Polly stroked her hair from her face as Alex continued to hold her up, shaking her to bring her around.

"Get some cold water on a towel will you?" Alex took charge as Piper started groaning and moving to push her away from her mouth.

"Pipes, what did you take? Did you take any pills?" Alex was prising her eyes open now to keep her awake and conscious.

"Mnnnn" Piper screwed her face up.

"Open your eyes Piper or you'll have to go in an ambulance. Is that what you want? You want to be back in the hospital? If you can't keep your eyes open for me you'll have to be admitted. I have a taxi outside waiting to take you there. What's it gonna be? Open your eyes or I'll carry you there right now." Alex moved to pick her up and Piper forced her eyes open to glare at her.

"Good. The moment they close for longer than a blink you're ass is in that cab."

Polly brought the cold towel over and Alex wiped it over her face to wake her up a bit.

"What did you drink Piper? Did you take those pills?" Polly took hold of her face now to search for the answer.

"Urgh!" Piper twisted her face away.

"It doesn't matter anyway, we need to get the alcohol out of your stomach. You need to make yourself sick Pipes. Can you do that for me?" Alex sat back on her haunches, her arms were tiring from holding Piper up for so long now.

"Lean over the bathtub for me and sit up a bit. I can't hold you up there much longer. Come on, sit up on your knees for me Pipes."

Piper sluggishly started to move her limbs and slumped the upper half of her body over the side of the tub, breathing noisily as she did. Once Alex felt she was supporting her own weight, she relaxed her arms a little and moved one to rub small circles on her back. The blonde dropped her head over the side of the bath, closing her eyes to go back to sleep again before Alex lifted her head up and wiped the cold towel over her neck.

"Come on Pipes, I need you to make yourself sick. You'll feel a whole lot better once you get rid of that alcohol in your stomach. I'm right here with you….No, don't close your eyes again…That cab is still waiting out there. Don't think I won't take you to get your stomach pumped if that's what it takes." She moved her hand to her lower back as Piper leaned forward and put her fingers down her throat to wretch. Alex held her hair back from her face as she soothed her skin and murmured words of encouragement.

"That's it. Good girl. Can you do that again and see if we can get rid of anything babe?" Alex spoke softly into her ear and kissed the side of her head.

Piper wretched again and again until no more fluid was coming out. Polly was peering over the top of them looking for any signs of pills in the bile that was in the bottom of the tub. She couldn't see any obvious pills in there, but that didn't mean they weren't already dissolved.

Alex passed the blonde the damp towel to wipe her face and mouth before Piper fell into Alex's side sobbing. She rested her head against the brunette's shoulder, hiding her face against Alex's warm skin and the black shirt she was wearing. Alex sat back against the wall opposite the tub and pulled Piper with her, putting both arms around the shaking blonde. Polly left to get a cold glass of water and Alex shushed and stroked Piper's skin as she let her heave and sob against her. While she was doing this at least she was awake and responsive. It was far better than the dead weight she had walked in to find earlier. Polly brought the water in and perched on the edge of the tub, waiting for Piper to calm a little before giving her the water.

"Piper….did you take any of those pills?" Polly asked gently.

Piper sat up and rinsed her mouth a couple of times, spitting the water back into the bath tub and leaning over to rinse it down the drain. She then took a couple of long gulps before sitting back against the wall next to Alex. Their legs were touching, but she was suddenly conscious of sitting so closely to the brunette who had just been holding her hair while she puked into the bathtub.

"I….(cough)I only took a couple of pills to try and get rid of a headache that was starting…I wasn't trying to kill myself if that's what you're worried about." Piper wasn't looking either of them in the eye, but looking out of the doorway.

"Good. That's good. I didn't think that, obviously. But….good to know." They sat in silence for a moment before Polly spoke again.

"So, what did you drink? How much Piper?" Her tone was stern this time.

"I don't know. I can't remember." Piper shrugged like the quantity didn't matter in the least. "I'm tired. I want to go to bed now and rest." Piper started to shift her body to stand up, but couldn't co-ordinate her limbs. Alex pulled her back down by her shoulders and brought her back against her by hooking her arm over the top of her shoulders and back across her chest. Piper didn't resist and Alex leaned her face against Piper's head, kissing her hair again before speaking softly against her hair.

"Are you cold?"

Piper nodded and shivered as though to prove it. Alex leaned forward slightly to take her leather jacket off and put it around the blonde's shaking shoulders before pulling her back towards her chest.

"Here, you can only borrow this if you aren't going to puke anymore though. Do you feel like you might puke?"

"No. No more puking for me tonight." Piper rubbed her eyes, still adjusting to the light in the bathroom.

"Good. Let's get you up and we can have a warm drink before you go to sleep, OK?"

Alex stood and put her hand out for Piper to help her to her feet. They made their way into the lounge and Alex mouthed to Polly to go and fetch a blanket for her. They sat down on the sofa and Piper curled into Alex immediately, seeking the warmth of her body and the reassurance of feeling looked after. Polly had been gone a while and Alex put her arm around the tired shoulders resting next to her. Piper took hold of the hand that was hanging over her shoulder now and snuggled against Alex's chest. Watching carefully that she wasn't going to sleep, Alex held her close and stroked her hand up and down Piper's arm to try and stop her from shaking.

"Hey. How are you doing?" Alex spoke into the top of Piper's head. She knew that they needed to keep her awake for a while to make sure that she didn't have alcohol poisoning. Right now they didn't know exactly how much the blonde had drunk and how long ago she started drinking.

"Fine. I'm tired though. I really want to go to bed now."

"I know….We can at least see in the New Year with a toast of hot coffee though, right?"

"Ohhhh. I forgot it was New Year. Is it already midnight?"

Alex checked her watch.

"1am already."

Piper lifted her head to look at Alex.

"Happy New Year then." She smiled weakly. Alex brushed the hair back from her face and moved the pad of her thumb over Piper's cheek softly as she looked at the pale blonde in her arms.

"Happy New Year Pipes." She smiled back at her.

Polly returned with a blanket. "Sorry, Pete called me to wish me Happy New Year….I think he's managed to get some of those 2 for 1 cocktails tonight. Sounds like he's outside a karaoke bar at the moment. Thank God I don't have to listen to him singing 'Livin' on a Prayer'." She dropped the blanket on Piper's lap.

Conscious of how cosy they must look and what Polly witnessed earlier, Alex moved her arm from around Piper's shoulder and mouthed 'Keep her awake' to Polly as she moved to stand up.

"I'll make us some coffee then. Do you want coffee or some tea Pipes?" Alex struggled not to smile when she saw Piper's disappointment at being left on the sofa.

"Camomile tea please."

"Coming right up." Alex went to the kitchen and left Polly to sit next to her sleepy best friend.

"You scared me…. Can you not ever do that again please?"

Piper worried the blanket between her fingers and avoided Polly's eyes.

"If I hadn't bumped into Nicky in the bar, I wouldn't have known that you were here on your own with a bottle of vodka. What were you thinking?!" Polly was really trying not to get mad and keep her tone in 'concerned best friend' mode, but finding Piper limp on the sofa had freaked her out.

"I wasn't. I just…I was going to buy some wine for tonight and I saw the vodka and thought I'd have a couple of shots before I came over to yours. I didn't realise how much I'd drunk…I knew you'd get pissy about it, so I thought I'd not ruin your night."

"OK….And we both know why I'd get pissy about you drinking vodka don't we?"

Piper sighed dramatically. "Yes! I know. I didn't mean to drink so much though. It was just to take the edge off is all."

"Piper…..Do you think you should go to a meeting?"

"No…I'm OK. It was a one-off…..I haven't really drunk in ages now Polly, since I went to Litchfield. If it happens again, I promise I'll go. I just…had a shitty day is all." Piper was trying to keep her voice down so Alex wouldn't hear them.

"But shitty days are exactly the times you need to not be thinking about vodka….Look, I'm not going to lecture you tonight. I'll just say, finding you in here tonight….cold and unresponsive when I tried to wake you….was terrifying. Please don't put me through that again Piper." Polly moved closer and pulled Piper in for a tear-filled hug.

Alex stood watching their interaction from the kitchen. She couldn't hear their words, but it looked like a serious conversation was being had. She poured hot water onto the camomile tea bag and thought about what she had almost done in the bar while Piper was out cold from drinking a bottle of vodka on her own at New Year. She couldn't have known that Piper would do this, but it didn't make it any easier when Polly's words flashed back into her mind that she'd have to work harder to break down the barriers or walk away. Yesterday, she had opted to walk away from Piper instead of fighting harder to understand her. She'd effectively washed her hands of her and walked straight into the bar for an easy way to forget their arguments. Alex dunked the teabag a few times before pouring the coffee into mugs for her and Polly.

When she brought the mugs over, Piper had her head resting on Polly's shoulder but she was still shivering. She handed them their drinks before heading back to get her own and settled on the chair next to them. She leaned down and picked up the empty vodka bottle off the floor, setting it onto the coffee table in front of them. Everyone noticed the empty bottle placed in plain sight but nobody said anything about it. Nothing needed to be said at this point and there was nothing to be gained from making Piper feel any worse about what had happened.

Polly raised her mug to gesture a toast. "Happy New Year guys. Here's to new beginnings, right?" She glanced at Alex first, then at Piper and they both nodded agreement.

They drank their coffee and Polly told them about one of Pete's friends who just won a trip to Europe from a lottery card he got for Christmas from his stingy Aunt. It was a change of subject to something more light hearted and it kept Piper awake for a little longer. Alex could see she was still shivering though as Polly was talking and was trying hard not to stand and tuck the blanket around her legs. It was easy enough for Piper to do it herself or even Polly if she would only take a breath and glance down at Piper's legs bouncing up and down. She held her coffee mug tightly as though the warmth from her hands might permeate Piper's skin through the ceramic glaze. After another 5 minutes of the story and Piper's shaking, Alex had enough.

"OK, you're still shivering. Maybe bed is the best place for you now so you can snuggle under the covers a bit more. You're all tense sitting there like that and you'll make your muscles sore. Do you have a hot water bottle you could fill up?"

"Er…no. I'll put the heating on though. That will warm everywhere up."

"OK, good. Polly are you going to stay? I don't think Piper should be on her own." Alex was trying to not be overbearing or patronising, she just knew how important it was that she wasn't allowed to sleep until they could be sure she was OK. Really, they should have her checked out at hospital but she was sure that they had most of the drink out of her stomach at this point.

"Yes, I'll stay here tonight and keep an eye on you Piper."

"Right. Good." She watched Polly put her hand on Piper's knee to try and stop it from shaking and every cell in her body wanted to reach out and warm her ex-girlfriend with her own body, as though Polly couldn't care for her in the way that she could. Stuffing her hands into her back pockets, she turned to look out of the window as though she were checking on the weather.

Piper was really tired, but her stomach was sore from heaving up the contents earlier. She couldn't stop shaking and it was really irritating because she had a blanket over her legs and Alex's jacket over her shoulders. She could smell Alex on the jacket and it was comforting, like Alex had been tonight. Although she was embarrassed at the panic she had inadvertently caused, having her best friend and ex looking after her was a bit strange. Both had been in situations where they had looked after Piper when she had been drinking and yet they both did it differently. She let out an involuntary giggle at their different ways of mothering her.

"What's so funny?" Polly looked at her as though she'd grown another head. That made the giggles worse and now both women were staring at Piper as though she had lost her mind all of a sudden. Laughing hurt, but she couldn't stop now.

"Piper what the Hell?" Her best friend didn't see anything funny happening right now.

"Sorry…I just…..thought about you two working together….it's kinda funny."

Alex raised her eyebrow. "Glad you see a funny side. Have you lost your mind now?"

"Don't think so…..But It's funny that this is the first time you are both here when I've been drinking."

"Right. Well, time for me to get a cab I think. Don't let her sleep for another hour though. You need to make sure she's responsive and alert for a while yet so we know there's not a lot in her system before she sleeps. Talk about shoes or something equally fascinating. Whatever BFFs talk about on girly nights in." Alex checked her watch to find it was 2:30 now.

"I will, don't worry. I'm going to take my make up off and put something more practical than this beautiful black dress on. Can I grab some sweats Piper?" She called over her shoulder as she headed to the bathroom.

"Yes, help yourself." She called after her before turning to Alex. "Can I go to bed now?"

"Yeah, but no sleep remember. I'll make you some hot milk to drink before you close your eyes. You need something on your stomach really."

"Alex…..you don't have to. I'll be fine now."

"I see that. But can you indulge my inner control freak? You go and get ready for bed and I'll bring it through in a minute." Alex shoed her away and turned to heat up a mug of milk. As the microwave was whirring around, Polly came through to the kitchen.

"Thanks Alex. I was totally freaking out earlier. Not as good in a crisis as I thought I guess."

"S'okay. What was I gonna do, leave you to ask Siri?" Alex shrugged.

"If I think about what might have happened…"

"Well it didn't. She's OK now and at least you were switched on enough to realise something was wrong. Unlike me, who left her to drink herself unconscious while I was…..well, I didn't anyway."

"Well, who knew we could work as a team eh?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Alex…..why don't you stay with her tonight? I saw the way she was clinging to you in the bathroom before. She needs you."

"I…..I want to. I just don't know whether we are good for each other right now."

"Can you put that aside just for tonight? Just…look, forget the last 24 hours or arguments and think about being there for her right now. Everything else can wait."

The microwave pinged and Alex took her time taking the mug out, mulling over what Polly was asking her. Finally she sighed and turned to face the shorter woman.

"Only if it's what Piper wants. I don't want to make things worse." Polly nodded as a reply before heading back to the bathroom.

She took the drink into Piper's room, where the blonde was curled tightly under the duvet already.

"You're not asleep are you?" Alex asked gently as she put the mug down besides the bed and perched on the edge near the window.

"No, I'm still awake."

"Good, shall I bring Polly in to discuss celebrity gossip for the next hour?"

"No…Tempting as it normally would be for me. I prefer my gossip in daylight hours."

"Fair enough. Are you any warmer now?"

"Not yet. Maybe the milk will help." She sat up against the pillows and lifted the hot mug, where Alex could see her hands shaking.

"OK, I don't think you're ready for holding a hot drink with those hands." She walked around to the other side of the bed and lay down on top of the duvet to pull Piper towards her.

"This is medicinal OK?"

"Right."

Alex pulled the duvet up to Piper's chin and moulded her body against the blonde's with the duvet in between them. She held her tight, trying to quell the shivering.

"Is this OK?"

"Yeah. Better. I feel like I've been mummified under this duvet though."

"Well if it warms you up, it doesn't matter. Except you'll need to wriggle an arm out to drink that milk before it gets cold."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, but I'm pretty sure you would have worked that out for yourself eventually."

"I didn't mean that. Thank you for taking care of me. I'm sure you had way more interesting things planned for your New Year than watching me puke in a tub."

"Well, I do like a little action in the bathroom and I definitely prefer it when the other party is conscious. But you're welcome…I'm glad you're OK." The brunette kissed her on the side of the head softly before lying back on the pillow.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you get under the covers with me?" Piper asked. Alex didn't answer straight away and Piper turned to look at her. "I can't deal with your death grip over this duvet…."

"Oh….OK. Um…mind if I take my pants off first?"

"No…You want to change into a tee? There's one on the chair over there." Alex let go of her and rolled over to climb off the bed before unbuttoning her pants and shimmying out of them with her back to Piper. She folded them roughly and put them on the chair before unbuttoning her silk shirt, looking sideways at Piper, who was looking straight back at her. Their eyes locked for what felt like a long time as Alex moved down to the lower buttons, both suddenly conscious of the electricity in the room and the silence that did nothing to disperse it. Alex slid the shirt off her shoulders, leaving her in a matching black bra and pantie set. Piper swallowed hard and closed her eyes for a second. She was exhausted and weak from puking earlier, but Alex Vause in her underwear was something she needed to take a moment to memorise and savour. Alex noticed the shift in Piper's eyes and unfastened her bra, never taking her eyes off the blonde as she let it slide down her arms. Piper clenched her hands into the duvet as she felt oh-so familiar butterflies in her stomach now. Alex broke the stare as she turned to put the tee on and slowly walked back to the bed, lifting the covers to climb underneath and move towards the blonde again.

"So, you want to come be my little spoon?"


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews and the new follows / favourites! I am worried about how long this fic has become now - is it too long? Should I split it into two parts or keep going in one long story? I lost a couple of chapters on a USB that got corrupted - very annoying as I need to re-write and remember where I was headed with them now - argh! Ready for more Vauseman drama? Then follow the words dear reader...**

Alex pulled her body close to ensure maximum body contact and rubbed her hand up and down Piper's arm to warm her up. They fit together so perfectly, they always did. Blonde hair was splayed out on the pillow and Alex brushed it aside to put her face closer. She could smell the unique scent that was Piper and closed her eyes to inhale it. She could still feel her shivering every once in a while and squeezed tighter. Neither of them spoke for a while, each content in enjoying the feel of their skin touching in so many places. They had laid together like this for hours when they were together and they both hadn't realised how much they had needed this closeness. When Alex felt Piper's limbs start to relax a little, she reminded her about the mug of milk and Piper tied to drink it without moving her body away from Alex at all, not wanting to break the contact.

Alex chuckled. "It's OK, I'm not going anywhere if you don't want me to."

"I don't want you to." Piper turned to her and smiled shyly before leaning further away to pick up her drink. She sat up a little further in the bed now so she could swallow but held onto Alex's arm below her gently to retain some contact with the brunette.

Polly stood at the doorway and smiled at the pair of them lying together in bed before walking in to sit on the edge of the bed nearest to Piper.

"Are you guys OK in here? I'm guessing Alex is staying?"

"Yes, Alex can stay with me – if that's OK with you Pol?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking three's a crowd in this bed tonight anyway. I'm pretty well acquainted with your sofa already though. I've brought you some more water in case you're dehydrated."

"Thanks Pol. Both of you. I….I'm sorry about tonight. I wasn't thinking and didn't know I drank that much. I'm sure I would have been fine, but I didn't mean to scare you."

"Well, you did…..From now on, you're under strict instructions for not drinking hard liquor without company." Polly said sternly.

"I don't feel like I'm in a strong position to counter argue right now, so I'll agree to a probation period at least."

"Why did you drink that vodka Pipes?" Alex asked, feeling it was a reasonable question at this point.

She sighed, feeling like she owed them both an explanation of some sort beyond a shoulder shrug.

"I guess I felt like everyone was treating me like a child, making decisions for me, telling me I had to have someone with me. I felt like my life wasn't my own…and I guess I wanted to block it out and feel freer…..I don't really know that I thought about it that much. I just wanted to forget I guess."

"Well if you didn't behave like-"

"It's OK Pipes, we get it. I'm sorry if we made you feel like that." Alex cut Polly off before this became a lecture and Piper was made to feel any smaller than she already did after tonight's events. Polly seemed to understand this could wait for another time when they'd all had some rest.

"Yeah, you're OK and that's all that matters to me. Let's talk about it later. For now, you two need some beauty sleep and I have a squeaky sofa waiting for me out there." She leaned forward to kiss Piper on the forehead and nodded at Alex before leaving and closing the door behind her. Piper finished the last of her milk before switching the light out and snuggling back down into the bed.

"Am I allowed to close my eyes now, or do you still have a cab waiting outside to take me away?" Piper laid on her back but turned to look at Alex in the darkness as she spoke.

"Do you want to close your eyes?"

"I don't know now….I want to lie with you, but I don't know whether I want to sleep just yet. I feel like you might not be here when I wake up."

"How about if I promise I will still be here when you wake up?" Alex reached to take hold of Piper's hand and intertwined their fingers on the pillow between them. Piper smiled and brought her face closer to kiss the back of Alex's hand.

"That would be nice."

The blonde moved so close to Alex that she had to lift her arm out of the way to figure out where Piper was heading. She snuggled into the crook of Alex's neck, resting against her chest and shoulder and hooking her leg over Alex's body so she had maximum contact with her. Alex kissed the top of her head and smiled to herself as she rested her arm around the blonde.

"Do you want to go to sleep now?" Piper asked.

"I know there is no place I'd rather be right now than lying here with you, so it doesn't matter what I'm doing while I'm here." Piper grinned at hearing those words, but Alex couldn't see it in the darkness. She lifted her head slightly and kissed the top of Alex's breast through her borrowed tee while gently stroking her fingers up the other side of the brunette's suddenly tense torso. "But if you're going to rest your naked legs over the top of mine and press your hardened nipples against me, sleep is going to be the last thing on my mind quite frankly."

"Oh? But I thought this was relaxing?" Piper smiled wickedly before pushing Alex's t-shirt a little further up her body to expose more of her skin.

"Ahhh, no. Not relaxing." Alex clenched her jaw, trying to not show a reaction.

"Sorry, I'm struggling to get comfy here. Hang on…" Piper slowly raised the leg that was resting over Alex's legs and glided her foot all the way up the inside of her porcelain long legs until her knee was close to her centre, then she ever so lightly brushed over the top of her mound as she readjusted to press her own sex against Alex's hip. "Yes, that's better."

"Are you done?" Alex lifted Piper's chin with her fingers to look at her with raised eyebrows.

"Mmmm, I think so."

"Good. Because you are an …..(kiss)….exceedingly….(kiss)…..tempting….(kiss)…..proposition…(kiss)….right now. But, I'm going to reign in my raging libido and say we are not going to work out our issues and feelings with sex this time." Alex kissed her on the forehead, as though sealing the deal.

"Less than 12 hours ago you were raging at me, 24 hours ago you disappeared on me and left me in this bed alone. So….I'm saying let's try things differently this time and see if the outcome is better. Do you agree?"

Piper scowled and thought about it for a moment. She was all in for the sex option as she knew exactly how to deal with that, but Alex was throwing a curve ball and keeping her panties on. This was most unexpected.

"Right. Fine." Piper rolled her eyes and started to move away to a safe, none-sexy distance from the droolsome body of Alex Vause before Alex stopped her and pulled her back.

"If you play your cards right, I might be willing to go to first base with you though." Alex winked and pretended to be coy as she pulled Piper in for a kiss. Piper didn't hesitate to press her mouth against the soft pink lips before her and she felt Alex smiling as she tried to deepen the kiss quickly, opening her lips up and tugging at Alex's lower lip to demonstrate her want. Alex slowed the pace to take the heat and urgency away as she knew neither of them would hold at first base if this continued. She moved her hand up to stroke Piper's cheek, brushing her hair away from her face as she did. Her other hand moved over Piper's back as she lay half on top of Alex now and moved up and down, caressing the material of the tee shirt that Piper was aching to remove. Piper moved up some more so she was resting on her elbow and broke the kiss to look down on Alex, who opened her eyes at the sudden loss of lip contact.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"So, first base and cuddling tonight then?"

"Yup."

"Wow. I wasn't expecting a no sex rule to be used so early."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, aren't you supposed to start out fucking like rabbits and _then_ become an old married couple?"

"Well, I guess that depends on if you're a couple to start off with. We aren't even technically dating Piper."

"Ooohhh. Is that why you're playing hard to get?"

"What? No! I'm not playing hard to get."

"You so are…Worse than that you're teasing and then playing hard to get. A clit tease, that's what you are."

"A what?!" Alex started laughing. "My God I don't think anyone has called me that before."

"Well, I'm calling it. I'm a victim. I need to report this crime, there must be a hotline…" Piper manoeuvred herself to straddle Alex's hips and kissed her neck as she slowly moved her dampening pussy over Alex's mound and pushed them together slowly. Alex's eyes rolled back in her head and she moaned at the contact.

"Fuck Piper…you're not playing by the rules."

"That's the whole problem isn't it? Rules aren't any fun." Piper began pushing Alex's t-shirt further up her body, revealing her wonderfully smooth stomach and belly button that was crying out to be licked.

"Piper…."

"Mmmm?" The blonde was placing small kisses across the pale skin of Alex's stomach and moved her hands underneath the bunched t-shirt to stroke the underside of those voluptuous breasts as she pushed the shirt higher with her kisses.

"Fuck, this is not fair." Alex clenched her eyes shut, trying to find the will to do what she knew was right and stop Piper's tantalising before they reached the point of no return. It was extremely difficult to even think while she could feel her lips brushing over her nearly naked torso and she found herself reaching out to run her hands over Piper's hips to pull their centres back together again. Alex was dizzy with the feelings and couldn't prevent the soft moans from escaping her mouth as she felt Piper gyrating her hips in small circles causing Alex's pussy to pulse with lust for the blonde.

"Piper…." Alex twisted her hips and managed to switch their positions so she was lying on top of Piper now.

"I really, REALLY, want this right now. Like you wouldn't believe how much. But, I meant what I said. We're going to wait for this and work our shit out with words or something other than this." She leaned down and gave Piper a chaste kiss on the side of her mouth before brushing her fingertips through her hair to smooth it a little.

"Are you serious?!"

"Yes. Check out my self-control." Alex rolled off the top of her and motioned for Piper to snuggle back into her again.

"Well, this is a first I never thought I'd see."

"I'm glad I can still surprise you Pipes. Now…come snuggle in with me and let's have some dirty dreams together and get some ideas for another time."

XXXXX

A little after 9am, Polly knocked on the door and came in when she got no answer. The pair were curled up asleep with Piper's head still resting on Alex's chest and the brunette's arm draped lazily over her back. Polly smiled and watched them for a second before she realised how creepy this might look if one of them woke up to see her observing them like this. She padded over to the side closest to Piper's back and leaned over to gently shake her best friend.

"Piper, wake up. Come on, you've got things to do."

Piper stirred slowly and scrunched her face at the unwelcome wake up call. Suddenly aware that her neck was very stiff, she lifted her head up and noticed she was lying on a still sleeping Alex. She smiled up at the peaceful brunette lying next to her before Polly tapped her arm again.

"P, don't forget Cal and Neri are coming up to visit today. You might want to tidy this pigsty up a bit before they get here. Oh, and how are you feeling by the way? I assume you slept OK judging by your googly eyes this morning."

"Mmmm. Time is it?"

"9. What time is Cal supposed to get here?"

"10…" Piper closed her eyes again briefly before shooting upright in the bed. "10! Shit, I have so much to do!"

"Aaaand now I'll go put on a pot of coffee to fuel the next hour of panic…..make that 52 minutes of panic." Polly stood from the bed and started to walk back towards the door as Alex mumbled something and turned over to put her face into the pillow.

"Alex, you have to get up!"

"Mmmmmno."

"Come on, you have to get dressed. My brother is on his way here and he'll murder you if he sees you."

Alex rolled onto her back again with her arms above her head. Her eyes were still closed as though that was a barrier from the reality of having to move. Piper was out of bed and on her way to the bathroom when she saw Alex looking like this and rushed back to the brunette to kiss her.

"God you are such a hottie in the morning! But I don't have time to enjoy your hotness right now. We have to move." Piper was about to stand up again when Alex pulled her back down on top of her.

"Are you sure? I think I'm up for second base right now."

"NOW you're up for second base?!" Piper swatted her arm before detangling herself from Alex's embrace.

"I have to get a shower and tidy up before they get here. Your ass needs to be out of that bed by the time I get back. If you want a shower, you'd better be quick."

"Are you saying we should shower together to save time?"

"We both know that would not save any time at all and I need to clean the shower and tub while I'm in there, so you are barred from entering my workspace." Piper grabbed a towel and left Alex grumbling into a pillow.

Piper came back wrapped in a towel 15 minutes later and found Alex was also wrapped in a towel by the bed waiting for her.

"Do NOT show me what is under there. Just leave the room immediately and go directly to the bathroom." Piper raised an eyebrow as she stopped in the doorway. "I'm serious. I know that look and that scene that is in your mind right now is not taking place. Bathroom!" She pointed behind her as Alex started to open the towel up suggestively before laughing and kissing her on the cheek on her way past.

"OK, I'm going. But I'm banking that scene for later."

Piper quickly got dressed and tied her hair up still wet as she went into the kitchen to see Polly.

"Hey. Thanks for the coffee. You sleep OK out here?"

"I slept, I won't say it was pleasant. Did you and SuperCunt kiss and make up then?" Polly grinned.

"I wish you wouldn't call her that. It's so vulgar."

"Avoiding my question. I already saw the answer when you guys were all cuddly this morning. Good job I hadn't eaten."

Piper rolled her eyes and busied herself pouring a bowl of cereal.

"So, can you be left alone with her without going crazy if I leave you?"

"Pol, I don't know what you're on about. We've just had a couple of pretty difficult conversations is all. Alex feels guilty for being a complete bitch 4 years ago and I….have some anger issues. I'm over it."

"Yeah, right. Piper Chapman not holding a grudge? You're like a baby with a pacifier."

"Erm, aren't you supposed to be on my side no matter what? I think you need a refresher course on the BFF code of conduct."

"I'm not taking any sides, just stating facts. Now, I need to get home and see what state Pete is in. The front door could be wide open and a wild party spilling onto my neighbours' gardens if I don't exert some control over there. Can I leave you with SuperCunt until Cal arrives? You know she needs to be gone before they get here don't you?"

"Yes, I know. She's getting showered and I'll hide her in a closet if I have to. I'll call and check he won't be here early. You can go. Thanks for coming over last night Pol and sorry I ruined your New Year." Piper hugged her friend tightly for a moment.

"You're welcome. But if I ever see you like that again, I will come down on you so hard you won't know what hit you. I'll call your Mother and everything. Seriously P, think about going to a meeting if you are worried about drinking again." She kissed her on the cheek before picking up her coat and bag to head out.

Piper was halfway through her bowl of cereal when Alex came in wearing her all black outfit from last night.

"Wow, I didn't get to appreciate that last night. Shame."

Alex laughed and poured herself some coffee.

"How long do I have before you press the red button to eject me? Long enough to finish this?"

"Um, yeah. They'll be here in maybe 20 minutes."

"They?"

"Yeah, he's coming with his girlfriend Neri. She's really nice. Straight talking and organised. You'd like her."

"Good. I'll make sure I sit next to her at the next family gathering."

Piper looked at her quickly.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it to sound like that."

"S'OK." Piper shrugged.

Alex sat down next to her with a mug of coffee and pulled her phone out to call a cab. Having secured a ride that would see her clear of imminent Chapman danger, Alex put her phone back into her back pocket and took a big gulp of black coffee. Piper had finished her cereal and was clearly thinking about what needed to be tidied away before her brother landed.

"So, what are your plans for today then? Are you going to do some sight-seeing?"

"I hadn't really thought about it too much. There's an exhibition on at an arthouse in Brooklyn that is themed around re-using and recycling waste into household furniture that I thought they might like. Apparently there's a whole section that is made from retired aeroplanes – coffee tables made from the wheel sections and storage solutions from the overhead lockers and things like that."

"Sounds pretty cool. Is it there a while?"

"A month I think, it only opened this week and you can buy some of them I think."

"I think he'd like that. Good idea."

"Thanks." Piper stood to wash her bowl and Alex checked her watch. Her cab would be here in 5 minutes. She finished her coffee and stood to hand her mug to Piper who was still standing at the sink.

"Well, thanks for the coffee. I guess I'd better make my escape now. I'll….see you next week?"

Piper drained the water and dried her hands off. "Yeah, that would be nice."

"OK. Do you want me to be there for you VCU appointment tomorrow?"

"Er, no. I'll be fine. Just need to tick the box really."

Alex knew this was a prickly subject from the last time they brought it up, so just smiled.

"OK, you have my number if you change your mind." Alex could see Piper was avoiding her eyes, maybe because she was worrying about her brother getting here early. She stepped forward and put her hands on Piper's shoulders.

"I'm glad you're OK Pipes. I know you don't want to be bossed around, so I'll just say I'm here if you need to talk OK?" She leaned in and kissed her on the lips quickly and turned to leave before Piper caught her wrist and pulled her back.

"Thank you. I know I can be a pain in the ass and I'm sorry about that. I'm trying Alex, it's just….hard for me, OK." Alex reached out and stroked her cheek.

"It's alright. I don't really understand right now, but I'll try to if you'll let me." She smiled and squeezed her hand quickly before letting go and heading for the door.


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: To my Confused One reviewer - Alex sees and hears Piper saying she's over the attack and she doesn't want to talk about it. She also gets treated pretty cruelly by Piper at times and she's absorbed an awful lot of that since the attack without biting back. Nicky is encouraging her to let loose and not let Piper walk over her at times in the past too, so Alex is reacting to both of those things by hooking up in the bar (which she only did once because the other time was a dare). She can only deal with what she sees and she doesn't realise how badly damaged Piper is now. Polly is helping with that, but she needs Piper to be more honest before she can see she needs to change and adapt to the new Piper. So, to answer your question - Alex is entitled to be an asshole until she is shown something other than 'I'm fine' or 'screw you' from the object of her affections. Hope that helps and thanks for sticking with the story to try and understand it :-)**

 **Thanks for the overwhelming feedback to make it one long story. I see most other fics finish before 100k, so I don't want you guys getting bored! Thanks to Librarybook, Skullerfly420, Milevalynn, Izzielg and WB79 for the ongoing support. I suspect a few guests are posting a few words regularly too, so thanks guys - you know who you are!**

 **XXXXX**

Alex texted Nicky from the back of the cab on her way home from Piper's place to see what she missed last night at the bar. Nicky's replies were just as crude as expected and she was surprised her friend was actually up so early in the morning. They arranged to meet for lunch later to swap stories and Alex headed back to her empty apartment.

She opened the door and tossed her keys on the breakfast bar, sighing when she realised there was next to nothing in the fridge again. She got changed into some skinny jeans and a chunky knit sweater and headed out to do some grocery shopping while she had time on her hands. When she got back with an arm full of groceries in front of her, Nicky was sitting on her front step.

"Er, hello. I thought we weren't meeting until later?" Alex fumbled to hold the groceries against the wall while she looked for her keys.

"Well, I thought I'd surprise you. Since I was in the area and all….."

"OK…that means you didn't go home last night…which means you were in someone else's home…Lucy lives around here?" She pushed the door open with her hip and they walked inside.

"She does. Good powers of deduction."

"So you guys have been hooking up a bit lately…is it getting serious?"

"That would be a no."

"A no but you want it to be yes or Lucy wants it to be yes and you aren't moving from no?"

"That's way complicated for this hour for me to understand. It's a no, it isn't getting serious and it's a mutual no."

Alex dropped the grocery bags onto the counter and shrugged her coat off. "OK, are you seeing her again?"

"That's a pretty certain no at this point. Put it this way… I said we couldn't go back to my place because I let Taystee use it to entertain her boyfriend last night. Too kind, right?"

"Absolutely." Alex started to put the groceries away as Nicky sat on the kitchen top, swinging her legs back and forth and banging her heels against Alex's kitchen units. "But what does Taystee have to do with anything?"

"I'm getting to that. So…she says we can't go to her place either because she's redecorating. I was all 'screw that, I don't care about a few dust sheets' and she says OK, but she has to call the decorator to make sure he left the key under the mat…."

Alex stopped what she was doing and raised her eyebrow at Nicky now.

"I know. I was drunk, what can I say?! So….she goes outside, makes a call. Comes back and says we're all systems go. We get a cab to her place, I'm rubbing my hands – well, thighs- together at this point…."

"Go on…why do I get a funny feeling about the decorator here?"

"We get inside her place, I'm not exactly looking at the interior design at this point and she's running around closing doors while she pulls me to the bedroom. Then I start to look around a bit and notice no signs of a decorator at all. 'Nevermind' I think and ask if she's got any beers. 'Wait here' she says and she disappears, leaving me sitting on the bed. I wait half an hour and she's not back, so I lie down and fall asleep while I'm waiting. The next thing I know, there's a guy storming through the apartment shouting 'where is he?' and Lucy running behind him like a rabbit in the headlights."

"Ah. I think I might have worked out the ending here….but tell me anyway."

"Totally. So for the last –oooh 8 hours- I've been cousin Nicky from out of town looking for a place to crash after a party in the city. I slept in the spare room and had to endure a torturous cooked breakfast from the guy this morning by way of an apology for waking up a very welcome guest. He kissed me on the cheek on the way out and said I must call round again when I'm in town."

Alex was holding her stomach laughing at this point and Nicky flipped her off.

"It's not fucking funny Vause. That was a good booty call I had going there. Turns out it's only available when 'Max' is working out of town."

"Aw, man. You are comedy gold Nicholls. Pure comedy gold." The taller woman wiped her eyes as she threw Nicky a bottle of water and opened one for herself.

"So, do I win the contest for shittiest start to 2016 already?"

"Um, maybe. My start wasn't nearly as funny, but shitty all the same."

Alex told her what happened last night from the point she got the call from Polly to her leaving this morning before Piper's family were due to arrive.

"Christ. You think she just had a bit more to drink than she thought or was actually trying to do some harm to herself there?"

"I don't think it was a cry for help. Like, maybe it was her trying to forget stuff. We can understand that, right? Different drug, same intentions?"

"I guess. But what was she trying to forget?"

"I'm not exactly convinced I even know. I know she raged at me yesterday for trying to give her advice she didn't want, so I guess she feels like she hasn't got control over things as much as she wants. Piper has always gone off the deep end with stuff – she's either all in or all out or totally on the fence. She doesn't test the water before she commits or runs and it's just more extreme than I ever remember now. Turns out I was actually a total dick about it because I took the 'screw you' attitude and went out drinking with you, Hell bent on some sort of stupid revenge for her telling me to fuck off."

"And now you feel shit about it because she was home alone drinking her way to a pickled liver."

"Pretty much. And Holly verbally slapped me for it last night. She warned me Piper could be in trouble and once again my attitude was to shrug my shoulders and carry on drinking….When I saw her like that last night Nick…my blood ran cold that the last conversation I ever had with her could have been that argument. And it was stupid. Over something totally stupid."

"But you're OK now right?"

"No. I mean, we're OK in that we're not arguing. I'm worried that she's not telling me the whole story though and I can only react based on what I know, so I've gone from caring and understanding to 'screw you' in the space of 24 hours because I've not been patient enough to put up with her ranting at me. I think I need to grit my teeth a bit until I know what's really going on….Does that even make any sense? God, I feel so ill equipped to deal with this."

"Kinda….Can't that chick from the VSU help? She's good at doing the touchy-feely talking about stuff from what I saw."

"I get the impression Piper isn't taking those sessions seriously. Do you think she could help?"

"Yeah, I'm sure of it."

Nicky jumped down from the counter top and slapped Alex on the back.

"You'll get there in the end champ. Is this where I'm supposed to hug you?"

Alex laughed. "No. I don't want you anywhere near my hips with your sex starved face. Stay back you animal." Alex threw her a Vause eyebrow.

"Your loss. So, speaking of my starved face, are we going to get something to eat or do I have to go and see my new BFF Max and see if he can rustle up something tasty?"

"Good idea. Shall we call at your place so you can change first though? You smell like a weird mix of waffles and beer, neither of which I'm fancying for lunch."

Nicky sniffed her armpits. "I'm sure it's a new line from PoPi….I'll be sure to give blondie your feedback on that. I think it might cost you a box of chocolates though…"

Alex threw the kitchen towel at her and moved to grab her coat.

XXXXX

Piper enjoyed spending the day with Cal and getting to know Neri a little better without their Mother there to wind them both up. She could see that Neri's influence was good for her little brother. She injected the right amount of purpose and direction to his creative thinking to make it into action and he was really getting things done around their home now to make them more independent and self-sufficient in the woods. They didn't buy anything from the art show because Neri frowned at the plastic. It was all well and good recycling, but the furniture would take centuries to break down and they preferred a more traditional look with wood. Piper had no such reservations and bought a piece of framed art for Alex's wall that was made out of melded portal window glass. She hoped that Alex would like it and decided to put it in the store if the brunette already had a different style in mind.

After saying goodbye to Cal and Neri, Piper collapsed onto her sofa with her laptop to catch up on the news and relax for a while. It felt good to be on her own for a change and she enjoyed the silence that was only disturbed by the sound of her scrolling and typing. After doing a little online shopping for the right parts that she needed to hang the new artwork, she started looking at what people were selling online to compete with PoPi's products. The prices were similar to what PoPi were charging for their products, but they weren't locally produced or standing for the same environmental ethics as their production methods for what she could see. They already had a good logistics company contact to make setting up an online shop an option and she was excited by the potential for growing the business from the storeroom and internet essentially. It was late by the time she finished noting her findings and she made a sandwich for her dinner with a cup of tea. She was tempted to throw the bottle of unopened wine that was in her fridge away as it and her stomach turn at the moment. Polly would be horrified at the waste, so she took put it in the cupboard for the moment and out of sight before heading to bed for the night. She got washed and changed into PJs, plugging her phone in to charge by the bed before climbing in. As soon as she laid down in the bed she could smell Alex on the pillow and her stomach flipped as she had momentarily forgotten about the brunette sleeping with her last night. It had been nice to share a bed again with someone and Alex's body was still frighteningly familiar to her that she had slept soundly, even if it was only a few hours. She remembered how it felt to wake up being held by Alex and the warmth of snuggling next to her before Polly had woken her up. Feeling a little guilty at how quickly she'd practically shoved Alex out of her home before Cal arrived, she reached for her phone to send her a quick text.

'Hey. Just wanted to say thanks again for staying last night. It was nice to wake up with you. x'

A few minutes passed before her phone beeped with a reply and Piper picked it up straight away.

'Hey yourself. I'd like to say the same, but your morning breath ruined the moment.'

Piper was already texting a protest back when another message beeped in from Alex.

';-)'

'To be fair, it wasn't like I was planning on entertaining anyone in my bed last night.'

'But you were _very_ entertaining all the same.'

'Are you in bed now?'

'No. Were you planning on sexting me? Nicky is here and she'll want to join in. It might get weird if two of us are in the same room.'

'Alex! No! I just wondered is all.'

'Are you in bed?'

'Yeah.'

'What are you wearing?'

'I'm not doing this.'

'I haven't told you to do anything….yet ;-)'

'Goodnight Alex, and say goodnight to Nicky for me too. ;-) x'

'Night. x'

Piper smiled and rolled across to sleep on the pillow that Alex lay on last night before closing her eyes.

XXXXX

Her VSU appointment wasn't until 10, so Piper had time to lie in bed this morning and snooze. Despite knowing this, she was still wide awake at 8am and unable to will her eyes to stay closed for long enough to drop back to sleep. She texted Polly to let her know she should be at the store around lunch time and would pick up something to eat for them both on her way in. Showering and changing into some moleskin pants and a white shirt, Piper dried her hair and curled it before applying some light make-up. If she was going to convince Sarah from the VSU that she was well enough to get the all clear from Dr Shetty, she thought she ought to look fresh as a daisy.

She flicked the TV on and made some coffee and toast for breakfast now her hunger had started to kick in. There was a clear blue sky outside and it was perfect running weather, which made her wonder how long it would take to be able to get back to her fitness levels before the attack. There was no way she would be running any time soon, given the pain she had been in when she tried the other night.

Just before 10, she heard a car pull up outside and looked through the window to see Sarah getting her files ready in the car. She quickly ran to brush her teeth again and was wiping her mouth when Sarah knocked lightly on the door.

"Good morning! Please come on in."

"Hi Piper. Thanks. Happy New Year to you!"

"Yes, Happy New Year! Take a seat wherever you like. Can I get you a coffee before we start?"

"Just some water will be fine thatnks, I'm trying to cut back. New year, new start and all that." She smiled genuinely.

"Good idea, I think I'll join you in that actually. Can't do any harm for my blood pressure to cut down on the caffeine I guess." Piper went to fill a couple of tall glasses with ice and water as Sarah unpacked her files and set her notepad to the side to check her notes from last time.

"So, did you have a good new year break then Sarah?" The blonde asked as she sat down and handed the glass of water over.

"Thanks. Yeah, it was family stuff really. Nice to see everyone, but just as nice when they leave you in peace too if you know what I mean. How about you? Did you see family?"

"I know exactly what you mean. No, decided to stay home this year. I've kinda had my fill of them already with the stint in hospital, so I made my excuses to stay home."

"Ah, OK. Did you see friends then?"

"Er, yeah. Just a quiet New Year's Eve in with a select group really."

"Sounds perfect. So….Just looking at my notes from the last time we met….You're still under daytime supervision according to my notes, pending the outcome of this second session I think?"

"Yes, I want to get an appointment with Dr Shetty soon after this so I can get the all clear. It's kind of driving me mad to be followed around all the time and I think my friend Polly is struggling to look after the store full time as well while I'm off. I've started going back to the store during the day to help out a bit with tidying up as that counts as supervised right?"

"It does, as long as you're not doing too much. Your body will let you know when you are though. How are your headaches?"

"Fine. No problem at all now."

"You've not had any headaches at all since you came off the pain relief then?"

Piper thought about the pain meds she had taken on New Year's Eve to try and get rid of her headache and dismissed it is stress related. "Nope, nothing at all to worry about there."

"Wow, that's really good…Last time we met, we talked about you dealing with your anger to let it out instead of bottling it up. Have you given that some thought?"

"In what way?"

"Well, have you had any cause to get angry since we last met?"

Piper didn't want to go through what happened between her and Alex. She was already acutely aware of every time Sarah was taking notes about what she was saying and she didn't want to look like a complete head-case with yet another story or emotional chaos to add to the novel Sarah had in a pile next to her.

"No. I mean, I always get a little angry about Kevin's parents leaving him at home when they leave for the airport in Home Alone, but I don't need to rage and punch anything if that's what you mean." She smiled, showing all of her white teeth and how super-relaxed she was right now.

Sarah chuckled at her joke and made a quick note. "Good. Have you thought about what you might do if you did get angry – say you watched Home Alone a LOT?"

"Well, I might switch the TV off as a start." Piper smiled, but she could see that Sarah wasn't going to settle for that as a way of closing the subject and tried to quickly think of something that might placate her.

"Well I'm a runner really and that's what I'd prefer to be doing to work things out in my head. So I guess until I can get back to that, I'd have to say walking?" Piper hadn't meant it to sound quite so much like a question when she said it, so she quickly reaffirmed it as a decision already made. "Yeah, walking - for like, as long as it takes to get that anger out."

"Great, that sounds perfect. You must have some nice places around here to do that too. Do you have someone to go with you?"

"Um, like someone who is looking after me?"

"Not exactly, more like….someone to talk things over with while you walk. Do you have a boyfriend or a friend who you can call?"

"No, well yes. I mean, no I don't have a boyfriend but yes, I have a friend I can call - Polly. But she's at the store during the week, like I will be this week hopefully. I kinda prefer my own space anyway when I'm exercising…..So, is everything OK? Do I get the all clear?"

"Not so fast I'm afraid. Have you thought about the attack recently?"

"Ugh. No. I don't want to think about it. I'll have to do that plenty when they start building the case properly. For now, I just want to focus on the future and getting back to normal."

"Piper…you said in one of our earlier meetings that you'd been attacked before – while you were in prison I think. Do you want to talk about that?"

The blonde sighed and stuffed her hands beneath her thighs to prevent her from balling them into fists and appearing angry.

"To be honest, no I don't. It's completely unrelated to this and I don't want to be dragging all of that up again while I still have this damned case to work through. I only have so much headspace and there's not enough to bring that back up."

"Piper…..I think we have to consider whether that event is compounding your feelings over the attack in December. If you won't talk about it I-"

"I will. I'll talk about it. Just tell Dr Shetty to give me the all clear first so I can get some independence back please? I'll go crazy if I don't get some alone time." Piper turned on the full Bambi eyes charm in the hope of winning her over.

"Was the attack in prison investigated Piper?"

"No… It wasn't necessary…. It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't been incarcerated, but it wasn't something to put on record, let me put it that way."

"Was it an attack from another prisoner Piper?"

Piper was quiet for a while as she considered possible repercussions of this conversation. "Yes. But it got sorted out without reporting it. Sometimes that's the best way in there you know."

"What happened? Can you tell me?"

"It's really nothing. Just scuffles in the showers, schoolyard bullying really. It happens in there so people assert themselves in a pecking order. You don't want to be at the bottom, so you have to have some backbone, but the right amount. Honestly, it's non-sensical to anyone out here. Some woman was giving me hassle and I told the guards, she didn't like that and she beat on me in the showers when I wasn't expecting it. I learned not to go telling tales, so it was an important lesson, but one I couldn't learn with friendly advice apparently."

"Is that the whole story?"

"Well, it's abridged. But the storyline, characters and ending are the same." Piper smiled and reached for a drink of water.

"Well, thanks for sharing that with me. Maybe we can pick it up again next time. For now I think we've used our time well. It's been a good session today Would you agree?"

"Yeah, sure. When are we meeting next?"

"How about next Monday?"

"Suits me. Same time?"

"Sure." Sarah put the notes in her file and added the appointment in her phone as Piper moved the glasses to wash up while Sarah gathered her things.

She saw the redheaded woman to the door and thanked her from her time. Sarah told her she'd send a report to Dr Shetty this afternoon and they'd talk again next week. Piper nodded attentively and smiled when the thread of the conversation demanded it, but her thoughts were on getting the door closed so she could breathe again. Finally she waved Sarah off in her car and she pressed the door closed before sliding down the back of it. Why was it so difficult to get people to do what she wanted without always having to answer 101 questions? She absolutely wanted to keep all memories of that attack in prison under wraps and Sarah seemed determined to drag them to the surface. She had to give her something to seem willing to share so that she would send a positive report back to the hospital, but she needed to head any further questions away next time to close the lid again.


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: To the guest reviewer who said the story hasn't progressed, I'll direct you back to chapter 11 for the answer to your question. Glad you're still reading tho ;-). Thanks to the other reviewers for leaving some nice comments in there too - you're the best! This is a bit of a quick chapter because I wanted to give you an update for Easter weekend, but I've already started the next one so hopefully you won't have to wait long for the next one. Hope you're having a good weekend so far peeps!**

Piper called the hospital and arranged an appointment to see Dr Shetty on Wednesday. He should have Sarah's notes by then and could give her the all clear. She put a coat on and stuffed her phone into her bag to head over to PoPi for the rest of the day, calling to pick up some bagels for their lunch on the way.

"Hey, how did it go with the meeting this morning?"

"Morning. Cream cheese and salmon for you there…don't say I never treat you to something special. It was fine. Hopefully it gets me a good report and I finally get my freedom back." Piper put her bags down and shrugged off her coat, walking into the back to hang it up.

"Oooh, more deliveries! What are these then?"

"The last of the Christmas ranges from the production line. They were late getting them out to us so I kicked their asses and they aren't charging us for them. It doesn't really help that Christmas has been and gone already. I wasn't done asking you about the VSU meeting. Are you having more sessions? Did you tell her about the drinking?"

"No. And I am done talking about the VSU meeting already. Could we have sold these if we had them in stock?" Piper came back through to the counter and unwrapped her bagel.

"Probably not to be fair. If we'd have had them in at the time, we could have put them on promotion as a last minute stocking filler or something I guess."

"Are all 4 boxes Christmassy things?"

"Yeah, that's the lot."

"Maybe we can parcel them up into little thank you gift sets for everyone who has helped us?"

"Not a bad idea. I can't see us being able to sell them now and they won't last until next Christmas anyway."

"Oh, I was looking at online sales a bit last night. We had a few orders that we had to deliver over Christmas, so I was thinking maybe we need to think about our online presence more. Even a holding page or something with our contact details and what we sell is a start. Do you know anything about creating websites?"

"I know about buying things online. My interest ends there. One for you to explore I think?"

"Yeah, I don't mind doing that. I think the sales over Christmas were good from what I saw when I was doing the books last month. Maybe we can re-invest some of that?"

"Sure, once we get the Spring ranges all set up and costed. Let's pay for that first and see what's left."

Piper shooed Polly into the back room to cost up the spring stock so that she knew how much was left to work with for online marketing. She served a familiar faces that had started coming into the store when they first opened and opted to give them a little thank you from those Christmas boxes to keep them coming back. The afternoon went quickly and they were soon locking up to go home for the night.

XXXXX

Alex was in work early on Monday morning. Having only been in the office intermittently over the last couple of weeks, she was starting to feel like she wasn't on top of things anymore and resolved to make an early start to deal with some of the things that had been hanging around for too long. Before the rest of the staff came in to bug her, she started in the loading bays downstairs to once again move the pallets of boxes that had been set down on the wrong side of the lines. She reorganised the shelves again to put things in the right place and cleared anything that wasn't labelled and boxed away. The manual work felt good because Alex could see the progress she had made and knew when the job was done. It was always more satisfying than sitting in front of a laptop with an open mailbox all day. There were always more emails and always things that couldn't be dealt with straight away and she hated things lying around unfinished.

She was wearing track pants and an old tee shirt today so she could get her hands dirty and get some of last year's paperwork packed away into off-site storage. It was an easy job for anyone of her employees to do, but she'd rather do it herself to know it was done properly and tire her body out from some physical exertion. As Dannii was the first of her staff to come into the loading bay, she was the first to feel the wrath of Alex.

"Morning Alex. Happy New Year!"

"Hi Dannii, Happy New Year to you. New year, new start I say."

"Yeah, I guess. Can I give you a hand with those?"

"You can actually, so glad you offered. Can you tell me why there were boxes and delivery pallets all over the area I specifically told you all to keep clear not two weeks ago?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, that was a last minute thing as we were finishing for Christmas actually…"

"You're telling me you thought it was OK to break that rule because I let you finish early for Christmas? So, that's my fault then?"

"Um, no. No! That's not what I meant…."

Poussey and Taystee walked in behind her and heard the exchange. Alex could see them trying to covertly duck into the office and avoid the confrontation, but she called them out on it.

"Ah, a full team. Let's only have this conversation once then…come on over." Alex stood with her hands on her hips. She hadn't been angry, but it was irritating her that she literally had to walk around after everyone to get things done properly at the moment. Poussey and Taystee shuffled up behind Dannii.

"Right. Remember I painted these lines and set out these shelves only a couple of weeks ago?" She waited for everyone to agree.

"Good. Do you remember why I did that?"

Dannii jumped in like the school prefect with the answer. "For our health and safety."

"Correct. Yet, here I am clearing away all the crap you've left lying around and stacks of boxes you have specifically dumped on the very areas I told you not to store anything in. To protect your health and safety…..And apparently, it's because I let you all finish early for Christmas…..So, you see why I'm annoyed by this, right?"

Poussey tried to diffuse the anger a little. "Yes, we do. Sorry Alex, we should've paid more attention. We'll get right on it." She started to move to help Alex move the boxes of paperwork into the back of her car.

"OK, just try and keep a tight ship down here you guys. The last thing any of us needs is an accident and a lawsuit."

"Sorry Alex." Dannii offered before heading into the office to put her bags down.

Alex turned to finish loading the car up with Poussey.

"Everything OK Alex? Did you have a good new year?" Poussey tried to change the subject to something a little lighter. She hadn't seen her friend and boss since New Year's Eve.

"Yeah, it was OK. Just non-stop at the moment and this place being a pigsty this morning didn't help me ease back into the 9 to 5 you know. How was yours?"

They caught up on Poussey's hook up with a College kid over a coffee and Alex pointed out all the other jobs Poussey needed to get done over the course of the week to get the downstairs back into shape and make space for the new shipments they were expecting. She had received a couple of emails from the company she visited in London with new contacts that were looking to renew logistics contracts and it looked promising to take on some much bigger clients that were regularly exporting to Europe. If they won the work, they may need to look at expanding the premises a bit and maybe take on some more staff. She headed upstairs to catch up with Nicky and Lorna to start the same job of clearing away anything that could be stored.

She put the last of the storage boxes in her car and headed back inside to speak to Lorna about opening up for the next couple of days. Alex was going to work from home to get some of the vendor forms filled in for the prospective clients she was trying to work out a deal with and she needed to concentrate to make sure she got the facts and figures right on the paperwork before anything was submitted. Leaving Lorna with the keys, she headed home for the night with her laptop and files.

XXXXX

Piper spent Tuesday at PoPi making up little gift packs from the late stock delivery. They had decided to give them out to the designer who helped with the Christmas flyers, the NY Logistics team and the nursing staff who looked after Piper in hospital. She also wanted to give one to Sarah from the VSU, so she made them all up between serving customers while Polly carried on with the spring ordering in the back office. Hopefully, she'd be able to let Polly have some time off once she was given the all clear tomorrow. She felt bad about all the hours Polly had been working over Christmas while she had been at home. The pair locked up together and Piper headed home on the subway. Her phone beeped with a message while she was climbing the stairs out of the subway station and she saw that it was from Nicky.

'Hey blondie! You don't write, you don't call me with complaints anymore…I never expected you to get so into that parrot that you'd dump me you know ;-)'

Piper chuckled before tapping out a reply. 'Hello Nicky. Well, I do have a penchant for feathers and crotchless panties ;-)'

She could see that Nicky was typing out a reply so she kept the message box open.

'Aha! So THAT's what you've got Vause doing this week! I never believed that working from home story.'

'Sorry to disappoint your kinky mind, but Alex is not tied up in my apartment wearing a feather boa right now.'

'Well that does disappoint me. I'll finish that story in my dreams tonight though. Thanks for the material anyway. How are you feeling?'

'You're welcome – I think? I'm feeling just fine thanks Nicky. Hopefully get the all clear from Dr Shetty tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to that.'

'Good to hear that blondie. We miss your ass on pool nights. I need my partner back!'

'Thanks.x'

Piper made some chicken kievs for dinner and sat in front of the TV eating it. She had checked her phone several times throughout the day to see if Alex had sent her a message or left a voicemail, but there had been nothing from the brunette since a couple of days ago. She washed up her dishes and made a cup of camomile tea before settling back to lie on the sofa. She was enjoying the peace of her alone time, but having spent so much time with Alex over the last 2 weeks, she found herself missing the company of her ex-girlfriend. Considering they were not together, Alex had really gone out of her way to help Piper and put her own life and work on hold when Piper had needed her. Piper had much to be grateful to Alex for and wondered whether she had been doing it out of guilt over sending her to prison or a sense of loyalty – maybe something more? Alex had told her that she wasn't seeing anyone at the moment, but they hadn't broached the subject again and she wondered if Alex was waiting for her to make the next move. What was the next move?

Piper picked her phone up and opened up a dialogue box to start a message to Alex. Thinking about what to say to keep it casual, Piper started and re-started the message a couple of times before mentally kicking herself for making it into a big deal.

'Hey Alex. How was your day? x' God that sounded so lame. But it was to the point…she pressed send. No reply came back for 10 minutes and she decided to take a shower to stop looking at her phone. She got out of the shower and reached for her phone with wet hands, still no answer. Walking into her bedroom, she threw the phone onto the bed and dried her hair before putting her PJs on and settling down in bed. She decided to read the wonderful first edition BFG book that Alex bought her for Christmas as a treat and was already on Chapter 5 by the time her phone beeped with a message alert.

'Hi Pipes. My day was good thanks. How was yours? X' It seemed a bit cold thought Piper, answering her question and being polite to ask the same….

'Good too thanks. My VSU meeting went well yesterday. I think I'll get the all clear on Weds when I see Dr Shetty.' Piper decided to open the conversation up a bit. Her phone started ringing, which caused her to drop it. She picked it up quickly and answered.

"Hello."

"That's great! Did you talk to Sarah about dealing with your anger?" Piper rolled her eyes.

"Yes. Told her I go walking when I get angry."

"Did you tell her the full story Piper?"

"No. She'll think I'm crazy."

"And your point is?"

"Ha ha. My point is these sessions are for the attack, not for a full life analysis."

"Right. Well, I'm thinking this conversation is also not for a life analysis – and I'm not on the clock if it is. It's double time at this hour you know."

"Good point."

"What did you really want to talk to me about?"

"Nothing. You called me anyway. I was just asking about your day."

"OK….."

"OK."

There was a silence on the line and it was clear that Alex wasn't going to break it because she already pointed out that Piper started this conversation.

"Alright, fine! I was wondering when I might see you again?"

Alex chuckled but didn't answer the question.

"Will it be this week?" Piper just wanted a timeframe, something to put in her diary.

"Well that depends."

"On what?"

"If you're asking me out this week."

"Asking you out like a date?"

"That's up to you Pipes. I have some availability if you have a proposal." Alex was smiling at the end of the phone line at how much Piper would be squirming now, but she was enjoying playing coy with the blonde. Her stomach was suddenly a bit nervous about what Piper might say and if she'd play along with a date idea or not.

"Oh, come on Alex! What are we, like 12?!"

Alex stayed silent on the phone, letting Piper fill in the gaps with her own words.

"Oh my God, I can't believe you're making me do this!"

More silence. In fact Alex had her hand over her mouth to prevent any sounds of her chuckling from coming through the speaker.

"Seriously?... OK, fine! Would you like to go out with me tomorrow night?" Alex was still doubled over chuckling with her hand covering her mouth, but she was also grinning widely at Piper's question.

"Now you've made me say that, you're going to have to answer me Alex. Seriously, don't keep a girl waiting like this."

"Sorry, I was just checking my diary….seeing if I have a gap for tomorrow…..what time did you say?"

"I didn't….Um, how about 7?"

"7….7pm…Yes, looks like I can pencil you in there…..Piperrrrrr Chapmannnnnn…." She enunciated as though she was writing it down in an appointment book.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, I will go out with you Piper."


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: Hey, Happy Easter! I've hatched a little Easter present for you here, so hope you enjoy the double update this weekend :-)**

Piper drove to the hospital on Wednesday morning feeling quite nervous. Although she was certain that she would get a green light, there was a niggling feeling that everything had appeared to be going too well with the VSU appointment and she wondered if she had misread the situation. She parked the car and made her way to the ward where she had been staying before Christmas with the gift boxes. There were three nurses who had taken care of her in shirts while she stayed there and she was able to thank the only one of them who was on duty at the time. Nurse Jones had been delighted with the gift, although she was adamant that no thanks were necessary and promised to pass them on to her colleagues as they switched shifts later.

She made her way to Dr Shetty's office and waited to be called in. Her knee was bouncing up and down as the minutes ticked by and she tried to force herself to relax as it might raise her readings for her blood pressure.

"Good Morning Piper. Would you like to come inside?" Dr Shetty came to find her in the waiting area and she made her way into his office. He closed the door behind her and gestured for her to take a seat on the examination bed.

"So, how have you been Piper? Did you have a nice New Year?"

"Fine, fine. New Year was quiet, but that's the way I prefer it actually."

"Good. Can you lift your top up for me so I can see how those ribs are healing?"

Piper winced as he pressed various areas of her ribs and he pulled her tee shirt back down.

"They're healing nicely, but it does take a long time for ribs to get back to the way they were. It's going to be a while before you're running yet I'm afraid."

"I figured as much….Did you….um, get a report back from the VSU? I had two appointments like you asked…"

"I did. I got two reports back from Ms Phillips and she seems pleased with the progress you're making. Do you find the sessions are helping?"

"Yes, yes, definitely."

Dr Shetty started to take her blood pressure and she was trying to will her blood to give the right measurements as this seemed like the last hurdle.

"Hmmm, still a little high…but-"

"Well that will be the coffee. I had a strong espresso before I came here this morning, so it will be that. I feel fine though, much better even than last week."

"I was going to say, but it isn't as high as it was before."

"Oh. OK, well that's good then isn't it? Good enough for me to be signed off as fit and well enough to work again right?"

Dr Shetty was writing his notes and didn't speak for what felt like an eternity before he raised his head and smiled. "Yes, I'm pleased to say you have a clean bill of health from me now. If you do feel any change though, please don't hesitate to call in and see me and we can get you checked over. Always best to be safe."

"Yes! Yes, thank you so much! You have no idea what it means to get my independence back!" Piper was already putting her coat back on as Dr Shetty laughed and waved her out of the door, shaking his head at her.

XXXXX

Piper drove to the store with a grin she couldn't dampen down. It felt so good to be in charge of her own life again and she could do a lot more at the store now to give Polly a break. She breezed through the front door and Polly could see immediately that the news from the hospital was good.

"You weren't this happy when you left Litchfield prison you know."

"Well that's probably because you brought my Mother with you on that occasion. I generally find more happiness for all life events when she isn't there."

"A bit harsh?"

"Brutally honest. I'm free though Pol! Which means I insist you take tomorrow off from working here and have a break. I won't take no for an answer." Piper moved to hug her friend now. "You've been amazing to keep the store going and look after me these last few weeks, the least I can do it let you have a lie in."

"Well, if you're sure you'll be OK on your own, I'm definitely not going to turn that down. I think I'm growing bunions from all the standing up in this place."

"Are you going to celebrate then?"

"Well…..I have a date tonight." Piper grinned. "With Alex."

"A date. Like, you're officially dating now?"

"I don't think it's technically called dating until you've gone on more than one."

"So who is taking who out?"

"Um, I asked so I guess it's me taking Alex out. I was thinking about that Italian place that you went to with Pete. What do you think? The Pavarotti impersonator puts me off a bit actually."

"Might be a bit too corny for Alex. There's guys walking around selling roses at the tables."

"Ugh, a definite no to that then."

"There's a new place opened up in Hell's Kitchen that does some sort of a taster menu with lots of small courses that's getting a lot of hype. Not sure if you'd get a table at such short notice though."

"God, I wish I'd have thought about this more before choosing tonight."

XXXXX

Alex had made good progress on the documents she was working on. She had her headphones in while she worked so there were no distractions and she double checked on all of the figures before mailing them off. She was finished by 3pm and had time to head out and post hard copies of the documents before she would start getting ready for tonight. Piper hadn't told her anything about where they were going, so it was difficult to know what to wear for the occasion. She knew Piper was picking her up from her apartment at 7, so at least she could quickly change if she got it wrong. It was kind of exciting to be going out on an official date with someone that she already knew she had a connection with. Nicky had set her up a few times with pretty dire results in the past, so she found it easier to meet and hook up with people she met in bars. The results had never been anything lasting with either route though.

She returned home from mailing the documents and ran a bath while she mentally flicked through her wardrobe. She opted for a simple black dress which stopped at the knee and was cut low above her cleavage, matching it with some strappy heels she had recently bought to go with it. Her hair was pinned up, with a few loose tendrils around her face which were lightly curled and of course she put on her winged eyeliner and red lipstick to finish the look. She was ready sooner than she thought, so she sat by the door and waited for Piper to call and let her know she was there.

XXXXX

Piper had been so worried about getting there on time and all of the possible reasons for traffic delaying her that she'd been in the parking lot at Alex's apartment since 6:15. This turned out to be far too long to sit and over analyse what she should say and how she should act around the brunette. On the one hand, she convinced herself that she already knew Alex and what she liked and that they already had plenty in common and that this was obviously going to make everything much easier as far as dates go. Then she would counter that by wondering if Alex would think her plans were cliché and that she didn't have any imagination. 6:30. But Alex already knew Piper and she probably knew what kind of date Piper would organise and she wanted to come anyway. She checked her phone – no messages to cancel so far. Piper checked her hair in the mirror again and smoothed down the wrinkles in her pants. What if they ended up fighting over something? They were bound to talk about old times and there were a few things they might get a little heated over….No, they would not talk about old times. It was a date, a first date in fact. Like a clean slate. She glanced over at the small bunch of flowers she had picked up from the florist earlier. Just as she had at the point of ordering them, she was suddenly wracked with indecision over whether Alex would think it was weird to give her flowers. 6:45. Jesus Piper, its' YOUR date. You can play it out however the Hell you like. She put her jacket on and leaned over to pick the flowers off the passenger seat before getting out of the car. Checking her face one last time in the car mirror, she took a deep breath and decided to be bold.

XXXXX

It was only another 10 minutes of checking and rechecking herself in the mirror that Piper knocked on her door. Alex jumped as she was expecting a text and grabbed her leather jacket to leave straight away. On opening the door, she was greeted by Piper holding a bunch of red roses.

"Hi. I um, got you these because, well it's a date and I want to do it right. And the colour reminded me of the lipstick you wear, like tonight…..You, um, look amazing." Piper blushed to the same colour as the roses as Alex stood in the doorway wearing a surprised expression.

"Is it too much? It's corny isn't it? I knew-"

"They're beautiful Pipes and it's cute, thank you." She held her hand out to take the flowers and leaned in to kiss Piper on the cheek, before wiping away the lipstick mark. "I'll just quickly put them in some water and we can go….." She walked over to the sink and quickly filled a vase as she shouted over her shoulder to Piper, who stepped inside the doorway slightly now.

"I wasn't sure what to wear, so I hope this is OK?"

"Yeah, you look gorgeous Alex. It's perfect." Piper grinned as Alex came back to her at the doorway.

"So do you Pipes." Alex took her hand and squeezed it slightly before they set off to the car. Piper was wearing shiny black leggings that hugged the full length of her legs down to a pair of sparkly back heels and Alex admired her curves as she walked slightly behind her into the elevator. Piper had a blue silk halter neck top on that exposed her toned shoulders where her hair was curled and barely touching them. They nervously glanced at each other as the elevator descended towards where the car was parked, both of them feeling like this was a significant event.

When they got into the car, Piper put the radio on low so there was some background noise to help relax them both.

"So, what do you have in store for me tonight then?"

"Well, I thought we'd go somewhere nice for dinner to start with. I know you like Asian food, so I've booked us a table at an Asian Fusion restaurant in the city. Are you hungry?"

"Starving. That sounds perfect. I've been working at home today and I had a snack at 5, so I'm ready for some real food and no washing dishes for a change."

"I know what you mean. It's kinda depressing washing one knife and fork and a plate after every meal."

"Hey, if your washing up is lonely, I'll save mine up for you to keep it company." Alex chuckled.

"No way, you have a dishwasher. I'll send mine over to you and then neither of us has to do any washing up!"

"Either that or we just eat out every night."

"That sounds kind of expensive for a soap entrepreneur to maintain. Besides, you're a good cook so you shouldn't mind making your own dinner once in a while."

"I've got better. My portion sizes suck cooking for one though so I end up cooking more than I need and eating the same thing for a couple of nights in a row….Life in the fast lane huh?"

They relaxed a little more as the conversation continued all the way to where Piper parked on the street beside the restaurant. She had managed to get a table at the new place in Hell's Kitchen for the taster menu and hoped that Alex would like it. Alex was already out of the car on the sidewalk when Piper got around to her side so Piper took her hand and walked to the door of the restaurant to give her name to the front desk. They were seated in a nice booth in the corner of the room, where the lighting was low and the candle on the table flickered as a reflection in both of their eyes'.

"Wow, this place is awesome Pipes! Where did you hear about this?"

"Polly mentioned it actually, said it was getting great reviews. Pete knows one of the sous chefs and he managed to get us a table last minute. I think you're normally expected to book a couple of weeks in advance, so I'm really pleased we got in. I owe him some beers I think."

The waiter came over to take their drinks orders and Piper ordered water while Alex had a glass of white wine.

"You're not going to join me with a drink then?"

"Not tonight. I'm abstaining for the moment. I'm not going tee total or anything, just didn't fancy alcohol tonight. Plus I'm driving anyway, so it's easy to not have any at all. I'm not ruining you having a drink am I?"

"Not at all. It means I can keep track of how much I've had if I'm the only one emptying the bottle."

"Good, you can have whatever you like. I thought we'd try the taster menu though. 8 small courses and they match your wine to your food at each point so you get the best possible taste from the food. Not sure how well that works with water, but hopefully you can taste the difference."

"Sounds perfect. You're pretty good at this setting up a date thing…I'm wondering how much practice you've had?"

Piper blushed and looked away, suddenly feeling self-conscious about whether she'd been on a lot of dates or not many at all compared to Alex. It was a question they were both curious about – what boyfriends / girlfriends each of them had since they were together. They'd managed to avoid talking about it until now and Piper was nervous about answering first so she deflected the question instead.

"Wow, that's a real stereotypical first date question right there. Is this where we tell each other about our crazy exes ?"

"Ah, yes. I guess we don't need a full history at this point as we already covered that ground on the first first date we had didn't we?" Alex smiled before the waiter put her wine down in front of her.

"Yeah, I seem to remember I had first-hand experience of one of your crazy exes then too. Remember Slyvie punching me in the face?" Piper smiled.

"How could I forget? I'm pleased to say I haven't manged to get involved with any more psychos since her."

"But you have been involved with other women, like in relationships?"

"Yeah. Well, as you know, I never really did relationships. I've had regular hook ups with people over a period of time, some of them for months even. But nothing that involved meeting the family over Thanksgiving dinner or grocery shopping on a weekend."

"We didn't do that in 4 years of being together though Alex. Are you saying that wasn't a relationship either?" Piper raised her eyebrows.

"That was different. What we had was different. We did have a relationship and you know I was faithful to you for all that time. It's the only time in my life I've done that and I've never wanted that with anyone since."

"It wasn't exactly settled at any point though. That might have made all the difference to me…." Piper spoke quietly, suddenly aware that they were on the subject of their break up while on another first date.

"I know that now. I'm sorry I couldn't see it at the time, but it gave me the kick up the ass I needed to change things in my life. You know the rest of the story already. Our story probably couldn't have gone any other way and I'm glad we found each other again and can do this now."

The waiter came back to take their order and Piper ordered the taster menu for both of them with only water for her drinks.

"So, what about you? Have you been involved with anyone recently?" Alex asked, though she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know the answer. Thinking of Piper with someone else made her stomach turn. She hated to think that anyone else's hands had touched the beautiful woman sitting in front of her.

"Not really. I mean, Polly set me up on some blind dates with guys when I came back from Paris. She figured you were a phase and I'd somehow go back to being straight again."

"Oh really?" Alex laughed. "How'd that work out for you?"

"I agreed to it because I saw it as a way to get over you. It was easier to do that with a man because it's comparing apples with oranges. I did try a couple of dates with women from a dating web site but they were truly awful."

"Oh my God, you tried a dating website?"

"Don't say it like that! Yes. I didn't think Polly would hang out in gay bars with me, so it was the only way I could think of to meet other women, lesbians, bisexuals, whatever."

"Really? I think Polly could have been totally into that. So why were these dates so awful?"

"I guess I was instantly comparing them to you and they were never going to match up." Piper shrugged her shoulders as though to dismiss the honesty of her feelings back then.

The first course arrived and they ate in silence for a moment before Piper spoke again.

"So, to answer your question. They were dates that sometimes led to something else, most times not. I was drinking a lot back then and I wasn't exactly girlfriend material at that point. Then of course, prison put my dating plans on hold and I found it difficult to deal with intimacy when I was released. You know, it's strange how much you crave the touch of someone else when you're in prison. The simplest of things like holding hands or a hug when you're feeling down aren't there and you miss it massively. Then you get released and people touching you freaks you out like everyone is invading your personal space."

"I'm sorry Piper. I really am."

"Let's not talk about that tonight."

"OK, it's off the table. This food is divine! How's your starter?"

"Really nice actually, even with water."

They talked about Alex's plans to expand the logistics business with new contracts as the next courses arrived and Piper told Alex about the potential for online sales if they could get a website sorted out. Alex said she might have some contacts they could talk to about pricing a website and online marketing and she would send the details through.

It was 10pm by the time they were on the last course of decaf coffees and they'd been chatting easily over the food, relaxing in each other's familiar company.

Piper asked for the bill and they had a small argument over splitting it, with Piper insisting she covered the whole thing as it was her date. Alex finally relented, seeing that Piper was not going to back down on this. It was so strange for Alex not to pick up the bill as she usually did when they were together 4 years ago and it showed how much more even things were in terms of power in their dynamic. The waiter brought their coats back and Piper insisted on helping Alex into her leather jacket and then opening the doors for her until she was sitting in the car.

They were driving back to Alex's place when the brunette reached over and took Piper's hand in hers.

"I've had such a great night tonight Pipes."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was kind of nervous about what to do and if you'd think it was cheesy. But it's actually so good that we already know so much about each other. When does that ever happen on a first date? Normally, there would be a lot of painstaking small talk about our families and what we do for a living, but it's been nice to just talk with you." Piper interlaced her fingers with Alex's hand as she drove them back into the parking compound at Alex's apartment. She parked up and ran around to help Alex out of the car before taking her hand again and they walked together without speaking to the elevator. Suddenly the nerves were back and they held hands, but only glanced at each other and smiled as the elevator rose to the penthouse.

When they arrived at Alex's door, Piper dropped her hand now and stuffed it into her pocket.

"Um, do you want to come in for a drink or something?" Alex asked.

"Well, I'm well hydrated from all that water already. Maybe a decaf coffee?"

Alex smiled, relieved that Piper wouldn't be leaving straight away and she opened the door for them both to step inside.

"Make yourself at home, it won't take me long to do these." She smiled and took Piper's coat before heading to put the coffee on and taking her own jacket off.

Piper stood at the window, looking out over the city lights as Alex brewed their coffee behind her. Alex put their coffees down on the table by the window and came up behind Piper, snaking her arms around her waist and resting her chin on Piper's shoulder.

"I never get tired of this view."

Piper put her hands over the top of Alex's and rested her head against the brunettes as the pair stood together looking out of the window for a while.

"I can see why. You're so lucky to have this." Alex lifted her head and looked at Piper, stroking her fingers down Piper's cheek as she turned to meet Alex's eyes.

"I am." Alex leaned closer to kiss Piper and was stopped by the blonde's finger on her lips.

"Ah-ah. Date etiquette says you, as the person being taken on a date, should wait for your date to kiss you. Of course, that depends on how well the date has gone too."

"Date etiquette hey? Well, please excuse my being presumptuous in that case. I was kind of hoping that-." She was cut off by Piper's lips pressing against hers and they both smiled into the chaste kiss on the lips. Piper pulled back slightly before Alex pulled her back into the kiss, tangling her fingers in blonde hair as she sought to keep their lips connected for as long as possible. Piper parted her lips and gently sucked Alex's lower lip briefly, causing the brunette to let out a soft moan, before releasing her and breaking the kiss.

"Coffee. I came in for coffee remember?"

"I remember why you came in. Doesn't mean it has to be the only reason you stay though…."

"I'm drinking my coffee now." She picked up her mug and sat down on the sofa, taking a gulp as she did.

Alex followed her and took the mug off her. "You can't kiss me like that and walk away. I've gotten a taste for you now…" Alex leaned in for another kiss and Piper pressed her palm to Alex's chest.

"That means you'd like to have another date with me then does it?"

"Yes. Does that mean we're dating now?" Alex asked grinning.


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: I'm glad you liked the last chapter. This one is a little more fluff before we head back into angst territory. You can't say this fic has ever been too fluffy though! Hope you're going to have a great weekend you lovely people and thanks for the reviews as always.**

On Thursday, Polly did exactly as she was told and stayed home for the day. Piper wasn't sure if she was awake so early because she was excited about her first unsupervised day of the New Year or if it was going out on a date with Alex last night that meant she couldn't lie still. She decided to get up far earlier than she needed to and showered, grabbing a banana before walking the few miles to the store to open up. Since she couldn't run, this could be a good opportunity to get some muscle tone back in her legs without hurting her ribs too much. She put her earbuds in and selected a playlist with Adele's earlier hits to walk to after setting her fitness app away to monitor her progress. The tempo was perfect to get her heart rate up enough to warm her up on this clear but fresh morning. It was not quite light yet and the sidewalk and parks were still fairly quiet, despite the roads already getting busy with commuters. It was really nice to be able to watch the day start from the point of the sun coming up and she inhaled as deeply as her ribs would allow to drink it in as she stepped to the beat.

Last night had gone really well. She'd been relieved to notice that Alex had seemed a bit nervous to start with as well, so it showed that she was also taking the date as a serious step. It had actually made Piper feel a little more confident in her plans on the night. When Piper had asked, it was more because she wanted to see Alex again than she wanted to make anything official between them. Calling it a date on the call was just semantics and she hadn't considered any possible underlying meaning to it until much later after the call had ended. At which point, she felt too silly to call Alex back and clarify their respective interpretations and decided instead to do it right and treat it like a date. She was pleased that she had kept the end of their date relatively chaste, with Alex asking if she'd like to go on another date on Friday night. She had agreed of course and left to get some rest before a full day at the store.

Piper timed her walking speed well and got to the back door 15 minutes before opening time with a hot coffee and bran muffin to replace the calories she just burned. She stopped her fitness app and felt satisfied with the 5 mile walk she had managed. Her first exercise of the year and her body even felt grateful for it. Walking around the store, she put the lights on and unlocked the front door, setting the sign to 'Open' in the front window before settling behind the counter to finish her coffee and bran cake. Polly had decided to start playing some low music in the store since Piper hadn't been around for company and Piper could see why. At this time in the morning, the silence was strange and she put the radio on after bringing the laptop through to the counter from the back office. She could continue with the online sales research while there wasn't anyone in the store. After only two visitors and no sales in the space of an hour, Piper got a text from Polly.

'I just woke up :D'

'I saw the sun rise this morning :P'

'Were you doing the walk of shame at sunrise Piper Chapman?!'

'No! Give me some credit will you?'

'Maybe you are confusing the sun rising with the butt cheek imprints you left on Alex's window last night then?'

'Can you get your mind out of the gutter for once? We were both very good. No sex or butt cheek imprints.'

'What the Hell did you do all night then?'

'Talked.'

'Sounds like a lame date to me.'

'That's because you're a ho. But I love you all the same.'

'Are you gonna spill then?'

'No. You're going to enjoy your day off and I'll tell you all about it when you're back tomorrow. This place is so quiet when you're here on your own. I think we should turn the music up a little more to give it some atmosphere a bit. Don't you feel like people are coming in and creeping around, trying to not disturb the silence when they are browsing? It's almost like they feel they are interrupting!'

'Maybe. It wasn't exactly like that around Christmas. OK we can talk tomorrow. I might not even get dressed today :D. x'

'Have fun. Love you. X'

Another couple of hours into the research and Piper had pages of notes next to her. She'd found craft websites that would allow you to sell through them among other companies doing the same, sophisticated websites with shopping carts and a wealth of payment options and simple static page sites that simply said 'contact us' for ordering. There were so many possibilities and it was impossible to tell how much any of these might cost to get PoPi out into the world beyond New York. She remembered Alex saying she thought she had some contacts with expertise in this area when they were out last night, maybe they could help.

'Hey Alex. Hope you slept well last night? Just wanted to ask if you could find those online marketing contact details for me please? Trying to do some research in the store today and getting confused with it all! X'

'Morning! I'm putting some boxes into storage across town at the moment. Do you want me to call by with some lunch for you or did you already make something this morning? X'

'I was going to close the store for a bit and get something, but if it's no trouble for you I would love some lunch? You sure you don't mind? X'

'Not a problem, see you in a bit. X'

Piper tried to make some order out of her notes for when Alex got there so she could pick her brains over what kind of help she might need. It was mostly a long list of questions and comments so far and she felt like she ought to be able to do more with it – or even know what it was that PoPi needed to do in terms of online sales. There had hardly been any paying custom while she'd been in the store today and Piper was concerned that their sales might not pick up.

Half an hour later, Piper heard the store door open and looked up to see Alex striding towards her wearing skinny blue jeans, knee high biker boots and a check shirt tied around her waist. Her hair was tied in a messy bun by a pencil, with a few loose tendrils spilling over a grey NY Logistics tee and Piper's stomach flipped a little in the excitement of seeing her.

"Dinner is served m'Lady." Alex bowed and placed the bag on the counter top.

"Well aren't you just the knight in shining armour? Thank you Alex." Piper peered into the bag and brought out 2 hot pulled pork rolls and a couple of cans of soda. "Mmmm, these smell like heaven."

"It's from a diner on the corner near the storage site. A good job I don't go there more often or I'd be eating these every other day." Alex opened her soda and took a long gulp while Piper moved the papers and laptop to make room for Alex to share her chair.

"How's it going today then? Have you managed on your own OK?"

"Yeah, it's been really quiet all day. Makes me worried actually. It's too quiet and nothing like it was in December."

"It's early January Pipes. Everyone's still hungover from Christmas and New Year parties and hanging out for payday at the end of the month. Everywhere is quiet right now."

"How do we know it won't carry on like this?"

"You don't. But it's too soon to be worrying and while it is quieter in here, you can spend a little time developing your research and looking for opportunities to increase sales." Alex shrugged and bit into her pork roll.

"But Alex, we can't afford to invest in more diverse ways of getting our products out there if we can't make more from the store."

Alex rolled her eyes and carried on chewing.

"Alex! I'm serious!"

"And I brought you a hot lunch that is fast becoming a cold one. Come on, it tastes better warm." She nodded towards the unopened packaging nearest Piper.

Having spent all morning moving heavy boxes around into their rented offsite storage space, Alex had worked up quite an appetite and finished hers in no time at all. Washing the last of it down with the last of her soda, she stood to tidy away any mess before coming back to share the seat with Piper and pulling her laptop over.

"So….this guy here is Jon Peters and he's like an expert in how to make your brand stand out for the right reasons. He'll talk to you, get to know what it is you stand for, what you want PoPi to be known for and really concentrate all of those ideas and concepts down into some sharp focus for marketing. He's based in New York anyway, so not far for you to go meet with him. Here, I'll save his website as a bookmark on here…"

"How much will he cost? His site looks expensive. There are some well-known brands on there he is citing testimonies from. Maybe we should try someone a little er, less well known just to start with and see if we need any help."

"Piper, just book an appointment with him and tell him that I've recommended you speak to him. He won't charge you for the first meeting, then you can look at what else you might need from him and look at the costs later. At least it gets you started though, right?"

"He won't charge us anything for the first meeting? Is that because he's already built it into the cost of the second meeting then?" Piper raised her eyebrows.

"Such a cynic. Just think of it as a try before you buy deal with a top guy. Do that first, then you can look at what kind of online sales you want to try." Alex rose to her feet and leaned over to kiss Piper on the cheek. "I have to go. I've been away from the office for 2 and a half days this week already. I need to go and make sure Nicky isn't trying to run the asylum. See you tomorrow night?"

"Yes, of course. Thanks Alex, I appreciate this….. Wait! I have something for you…." Piper hurried into the back office to pick up the little gift packs she'd made up for the NY Logistics team and piled them up to bring them back to Alex.

"These are for you and the guys at NY Logistics. To say thanks for getting all of our orders out on time for Santa to put them down the chimney stacks."

"Pipes, there's really no need to do that. It's what they do every day. It really wasn't special treatment you know."

"I know. We want to do it anyway. Can you take these with you and tell everyone we appreciate you working with us? Please Alex?"

"Yes, I will. But you didn't need to." Alex walked over and took the boxes from her and Piper ran ahead to hold the door open.

"OK, I'll see you tomorrow then. Can you be ready for 7 and I'll pick you up?"

"7 is perfect, thanks again."

"No worries." Alex winked as she went through the door and back to her car.

This was the Alex that Piper had fallen in love with and had even been in awe of all those years ago. The person who wasn't flustered by indecision or blinded by too many possibilities to make a choice. Alex was always able to see what needed to be done first and ignored everything else until that was under control before moving methodically onto the next task. She had only stayed for half an hour, but Piper already felt like there was a plan to be formed that made her calmer and focused about the lack of traffic through the store for the rest of the day. She organised her notes a bit more and packed everything away to clean up the store ready for tomorrow. She didn't want Polly thinking she'd been idle and surfing the internet all day while she was here alone, so Piper made sure there wasn't anything to be done before opening up again when she closed the front door and switched all the lights out before heading out of the back door and locking up for the night. She felt weary from her early start and the long walk in this morning, so opted to catch the subway back and get an early night.

XXXXX

Alex parked outside the logistics offices and looked over at the little stack of gift boxes on her passenger seat. This nice gesture from Piper was going to open the door to her getting a whole heap of shit off Poussey and Nicky if she walked in there with them after being off for half of the week. Alex hadn't told Nicky about their date as she'd already been working at home when it was arranged, so she had managed to keep it below radar so far. After a couple of minutes of considering the possible lines of questioning that would be opened up about her seeing Piper today instead of coming to the office, she opted to get into the office early in the morning and leave the boxes out as though the soap fairy left them instead. She locked the car and headed straight up to the office to see Nicky and Lorna.

"Well, I see our part time boss has decided to call in and say Hi for an hour or 2….Just as I was starting to forget we had a boss too." Nicky grinned as she whirled around in her chair.

"Oh you were? I wonder if that means I can forget you work for me too?" Alex rolled her eyes at Lorna as she watched the exchange.

"I doubt it stretch. Once you've tasted Nicky Nicholls, I'm ALL you think about."

"Really? That's a fantasy best kept in your imagination I think. Never to be shared."

"I'm getting quite the spank bank collection of you now Vause. That's the second new scenario I've got this week with you in the starring role." Nicky winked before turning around.

"I don't think I want to know what goes on in that mind of yours, so I'm not even going to ask."

"Hey, I'm not to blame! Your girlfriend has _quite_ the creative imagination…"

Alex stopped in her tracks. "…My what?"

"Your girlfriend. Blondie. I think she told me you've been handcuffed to her bedposts wearing nothing but a feather boa for a couple a days."

"My _girlfriend_?"

"Interesting how the only part in that statement that concerns you is the label. What would you rather I call her? Your plaything? Sex toy? Piper of the House Chapman?"

"None of those things. Piper is just fine. Can you not put labels on things you know nothing about please? If you want to label stuff, there's a fuckload of storage space downstairs that needs keeping tidy. I'm sure Poussey would welcome your use of the Dyno label maker." Alex resisted the urge to stomp into her office and slam the door, knowing exactly how over the top it would appear, so she raised her eyebrow and folded her arms to challenge Nicky to try another word on the subject. Nicky smiled and held her palms up.

"OK. Not labelling. Keyboard typing is more my thing….Typing over here, Boss…..I'm going back to deliver more excellent customer service now."

XXXXX

Polly was in the store room already when Piper arrived at work on Friday morning, nearly knocking her over with the door as she opened it.

"Sorry Pol, I didn't see you there!"

"Good morning. It's OK. I was just trying to make sure all the Christmas stock was use or out on sale. We don't want anything left over to find it 6 months down the line when it's past it's use by date."

Piper shuffled past her and closed the door behind her. "Oh, I handed out all of the gift boxes already. Alex took the NY Logistics ones when she called in yesterday, so they are gone now."

"Oh yeah. Your date. How did it go?"

"It was nice. Really nice actually. That Asian Fusion place was really good. Tell Pete I owe him a big favour for getting me a table there."

"OK….so are you going out with SuperCunt again then?"

"Polly! Yes, Alex is taking me out tonight actually for our second date. We're taking things slowly, which is brand new for us."

"Good. She makes you crazy, so slowly is good. Keep it that way."

"She does not make me crazy Pol. It was my first time with a woman last time remember, it was always going to be a bit intense. I'm a seasoned pro now, so I'm wiser of the ways of woman love this time around." Piper winked and Polly rolled her eyes by way of an answer.

"She makes you crazy without even trying. You're either crazy obsessed with her, acting crazy because of something she's done or she's driving you crazy because you haven't heard from her. I've seen every version and it isn't just about when you were with her 4 years ago. You were like that when you argued with her the other week – every time you've argued with her since you met her again last year. Don't try and tell me she doesn't make you crazy – I see you Piper Chapman." Polly pointed her fingers from her own eyes to Piper's to illustrate her point.

"I'm going to open up the front of the store before you drive me crazy with your amateur relationship psychology. Don't give up the day job hey."

Piper showed Polly the website for the brand expert that Alex was showing her yesterday, explaining that the first meeting is meant to be free anyway.

"He's got a very polished looking website there. He looks kinda expensive Piper….maybe he has a junior we should try and speak to instead?"

"I know. That's what I said. Alex said to meet with him once and tell him she recommended we talk to him before we make any more decisions about what other help we might need. There are no prices on there to say how much his services cost and I'm a bit worried he's used to dealing with big companies instead of small start-up businesses."

"Well, if Alex is recommending him maybe we should try him out first. If the first session is free anyway, we don't have anything to lose, right?"

"Yeah. Maybe our investor might be willing to help out a little if we need some more sessions? Though I don't want to ask for more money if we can't show a good return on investment for the last marketing activities we did."

"It's difficult to put an exact figure on how much the marketing campaigns helped with the Christmas sales, but a lot of people mentioned them when they came into the store. So if you think about how much we spent on the design and print costs, I'm sure we made something on them beyond paying for the work in the first place."

They locked up the store together and Piper made her way to the subway, wondering where Alex would be taking her tonight. She liked surprises, but she also liked to know that she was properly prepared for something and having no information but a pick up time was strange to her. Piper showered and changed into some black jeans and a red (slightly see-through) blouse, putting on some natural looking make-up and leaving her hair down around her shoulders. Alex knocked on the door at exactly 7pm and she quickly pulled on her boots before grabbing her long black coat and bag to leave.

Piper opened the door ready to rush straight through it and bumped straight into Alex, who was standing on the stoop.

"Someone's keen tonight!" Alex grinned and handed her a single red rose. "For you, my little dynamo." She kissed Piper on the cheek and stepped back, offering her hand to Piper.

"Sorry, I mean thanks. It's beautiful."

Alex laughed and squeezed Piper's hand, leading her to the passenger seat of her car and opening the door for her.

Alex got into the driver seat and belted up before starting the car.

"So, I wasn't sure what to wear. Is this OK?"

Alex looked over and smiled. "Yeah, it's perfect."

"Good….so are you going to give me a hint about where we're heading tonight?"

"I can give you a hint. Or I can just tell you. We're going to my place. I'm going to cook for you."

"Oh. OK. That sounds nice."

"Yeah. I thought we could have a night in and relax a bit. No waiters interrupting us to top up drinks, no last orders and we're not working to anyone else's timings for food. That OK with you?"

"Fine with me. Sounds wonderful."

They drove to Alex's place and parked up the car before taking the elevator to the top floor. Alex took her coat at the door and went to hang it up as she asked if Piper wanted a drink.

"Em, can I have some water please?"

"Sure. We're having fillet steak for dinner. Do you want a glass of red with your meal?"

"Yes, I will thanks. Can I help you with anything?"

"It's not going to take long actually. Can you light the candles? I'll just finish these up and we can start if you're hungry now?"

"I am pretty hungry actually." Piper picked up the box of matches Alex left on the table and hit the candles on the table. Alex handed her a glass of iced water before spooning the dressing over the top of their plates and bringing over their starters as Piper took a seat.

"OK, bruschetta to start with here. I won't judge if you choose fingers over forks, I promise." Alex crossed her heart and winked at Piper, who sat at the side of the table next to her so they were close enough to talk.

"Ah, did I ever tell you that you're perfect date material? Honestly, you know me too well!" Piper laughed and picked up her bruschetta to eat it with her fingers.

"You didn't ever tell me that. But I'm happy to hear it. In fact, I think we should toast to it." Alex raised her glass and Piper lifted her water.

"To perfect date material and the right ingredients to make it." They clinked their glasses together and finished their starters.

Alex cooked perfect rare fillet steaks for them and they shared a bottle of red wine as they talked about Cal's experiments with welding artwork after Neri taught him the basics of welding. It was mostly melting metal stuff together at the moment by the sounds of it, but he was hopeful that he could make it represent something 'arty' after seeing the recycling exhibition in New York with Piper recently. They shared the clearing up work and Alex topped up their wine before they sat on the sofa. Piper looked up at the shelves lined with books behind them.

"Do you still read a lot?"

"Yeah, I try to. I don't read anywhere near as much as I used to because I don't travel like before. Long haul flights and layovers in small airports was particularly conducive to life as a bookworm. My commute these days is a little short to make much progress with Jane Austen. I guess I kind of miss it though so I try and read before I go to sleep."

"Are these the books that you had when you were travelling? I mean, have I read some of these copies when I've been on the beach waiting for you?"

"For sure there will be a few you have read in here. Tell me one you remember reading and I'll tell you if it's still there."

"OK." Piper crossed her legs on the sofa and thought for a moment. "Far from the madding crowd. I read that one rainy weekend in Berlin while you were out getting soaked trying to track a drop gone wrong."

"Um…..here it is. Looks like the same copy to me." Alex handed it to Piper, who leafed through the pages as though the memories of that weekend would fall out of them.

"Wow, well found…..OK, what about….The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand?"

"Ah, I think I kept it. Not really a book I enjoyed reading…but here it is."

"Have you got that copy of Robinson Crusoe that you read to me when I was poorly in Java?"

"Of course. Here it is." Alex handed her the well-thumbed copy.

"I used to love it when you read to me you know. It was just me, you, a good book and a bottle of wine. After some protesting, I'd eventually get you to turn your phone off before we settled down. They were my favourite nights while we were travelling. Ones where there wasn't anyone else, no distractions and nobody else vying for your attention. I could properly relax, knowing someone else wasn't trying to steal you away from me."

Alex laughed. "They could never steal me away from you. I only ever had eyes for you when we were together."

"I know, but I always felt like I had to be on my toes to remind anyone who looked like they were getting too close. It was really stressful to always feel like I was competing for your attentions and there was always a possibility that one day you'd choose someone else over me." Piper shrugged, a little embarrassed that she just admitted to that. Alex moved closer to sit next to her and put her arm around Piper's shoulders, pulling her closer and kissing the top of her head.

"Well, you have my undivided attention once again right now. Would you like me to read to you again?"

Piper grinned shyly. "I'd really like that."

"What do you fancy? Robinson Crusoe?"

"Yes!" Piper snuggled into Alex's side and the brunette reached over to pull a blanket from under the coffee table, spreading it over the blonde woman who was making her heart flutter by clinging onto her side.

Alex folded the pages back and began reading from the first chapter. Piper's cheeks started to hurt from the fact that she couldn't stop herself from smiling at the happy memories this was bringing back for her. Their date couldn't have been planned more perfectly than the two of them snuggling on the sofa with an old classic book and a bottle of wine and there was no place on earth she could be happier than she was right now next to Alex. Realising that made Piper's stomach flip with butterflies as she realised how strong her feelings for Alex still were and that she'd never had anything like these feelings for anyone before or since Alex.

After reading several chapters, Alex was aware of how even Piper's breathing had become and recognised that the blonde lying in her arms had fallen asleep. She didn't want to disturb her, but Alex knew Piper had to be at the store in the morning with Polly.

"Pipes…wake up sweetheart. Do you want to stay here tonight and I'll drop you off at work in the morning?"

"Mmmmmm time is it?" Piper didn't even open her eyes to answer.

"After midnight. I can't take you home because I've had a drink, but I can call a cab if you really want to sleep at your own place. I can lend you some things so you can stay here just as easily though. It's up to you."

"M'tired."

"I see that. Come on, let's get you into bed then and you can go back to those sweet dreams." Alex chuckled and picked her up bridal style to carry her into the spare room. Placing her softly on the bed, she quickly went to get a tee and some shorts so Piper could change, before locking up and switching the lights out. Alex changed into a tee shirt, got washed and brushed her teeth before coming back to find Piper hadn't moved.

"Come on sleepy head." Pulling Piper up by her arms, she finally got a reaction and pointed at the change of clothes. "There's a spare toothbrush in the bathroom for you. Be quick and we can snuggle before sleep." Piper grinned and took the change of clothes with her to the bathroom. A few minutes later, the blonde returned wearing one of Alex's work tees.

"Can I be little spoon tonight?" The blonde grinned sheepishly as she climbed into the bed next to Alex.

"You sure can."


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: Thanks for over 300 reviews and yet more follows and faves! I never appreciated how time consuming it is to write these stories, so I have huge respect for those authors out there who write several stories for these pages - thanks! Less fluff this time as we head into some angst-ridden chapters...**

Piper woke at 6:30 on Saturday morning and it took her a few moments to remember where she was. She felt warm arms around her waist, pulling her close to the front of Alex as they slept in pretty much the same position all night. Piper smiled and slowly opened her eyes, moving slowly beneath Alex's arm so as not to disturb the still sleeping brunette as she moved onto her back. From this position she was able to observe Alex's face as she slept silently, her hair fanned out on the pillow behind her. It would be hard for anyone to believe that the sleeping beauty beside her was capable of bringing down an international drug cartel and throwing her ex-girlfriend under the bus as part of the package, but Piper knew Alex better than most. She had spent years seeing her ex-girlfriend manipulate people into doing what she needed them to do, disregarding their own safety and breaking the law for a woman who promised them whatever it was she could see they were motivated by in order to get a job done. Piper wasn't sure why she woke on Saturday morning thinking about this. She'd had a really nice night last night with Alex, but for some reason, Polly's words of caution were ringing in her ears this morning and she couldn't shake them. Carefully moving Alex's arm away, she gently slid out of the covers and went to get showered.

Wandering around the kitchen wearing a towel around her hair and a bathrobe, Piper managed to figure out the coffee machine and made some coffee for both of them and took it through to the bedroom. Alex stirred only when Piper sat on the edge of the bed and put her mug down by her pillow.

"Hey, you're up early. Everything OK?" Alex smiled as she slipped an arm around Piper's waist and pulled her a little further up the bed towards her.

"I am. I need to get into the store though so I thought I'd get ready early so I can take a cab home to change before I see Polly."

"I can take you. You can borrow something off me if that's easier?"

"Er, no. It's OK. Thanks though, but I'm up early enough to get changed at home already. I don't mind taking a cab if you want to lie in this morning though. Where is your hairdryer?" Piper stood and shook her hair free from the towel and took another gulp of coffee as she looked around to make sure she had all of her things together.

"There's one in the cupboard under the sink in the bathroom. What time do you want me to drop you?" Alex sat up and drank some coffee as it looked like Piper wanted to get going pretty soon.

"Can we leave in the next 15 minutes? I really don't mind taking a cab you know."

"That's fine. Let me get dressed and I'll drop you off at home."

XXXXX

Alex pulled up outside Piper's house and was about to cut the engine when Piper leaned over and pecked her on the cheek.

"Thanks for the lift. See you next week?" Piper was already getting out of the car.

"Do you want me to wait and I can drop you off at the store?" Alex ducked her head to call after Piper as she closed the door already and was heading around the back of the car.

"No. I'll take the subway this morning. Thanks. I'll call you next week." Piper waved over her shoulder and disappeared inside, closing the door behind her.

Alex sat in the car a second, her eyebrows raised in wonder. Piper hadn't seemed to be off at all this morning with her, so maybe she was just keen to get to work. She couldn't help but feel as though she'd just been dismissed by the blonde though.

XXXXX

Piper got changed and headed into work, arriving at the same time as Polly.

"I wasn't expecting you to be so bright and early. Weren't you on a date with SuperCunt last night?"

"I was and why would that make a difference to me being here on time?"

"It wouldn't. I guess? You just seem like you've been up a while already….But you are changed, so you slept at your own place….Where did you go on your date?" Polly shrugged her coat off and put the lights on.

"Alex cooked steak at her place. It was nice."

"It was nice? Who ever wants to describe a second date as that? It all seems very domesticated for a second date. I think I miss you boasting about 7 orgasms in a night. Can't you go out with that woman again?"

"Polly! It's not all about having sex you know. It's about getting to know someone and enjoying spending time with them."

"Seriously? You and Alex already know each other. Intimately. Surely that's the benefit here in that you can skip the small talk and head straight to the bedroom. Seems pretty fucking boring otherwise. You might as well pick up a stranger and get your rocks off without ever having to 'get to know them'."

"Did you really just do air quotes to describe my dating situation?"

"Ah. Even you think there's a situation then. What's up?" Polly leaned on her hands on the counter as though she was ready to listen to all of Piper's problems.

"NOTHING is up! We've been out like twice. There's plenty of time for all that."

"Sounds totally like nothing is up to me. And you're not being at all defensive about it either. Yep, all signs point to there be nothing to see here. And when I say nothing, I mean you might as well be dating Jesus for all the action you're getting."

"Polly! For fuck's sake! You told me to be careful with her, so I am. I'm being careful because you keep reminding me how she's fucked me over and she might do it again. We both know how well that went for me in recent years, so yes, maybe I am holding back a little but I thought you'd be pleased to know I wasn't jumping in head first this time." Piper was glaring at her best friend now, daring her to push the subject just one more time and give her permission to go nuclear on her.

"OK. Whatever." Polly held her hands up in mock surrender. "I'm just saying, if you're not feeling it with Alex, maybe that fire burned itself out and you're not that into her anymore."

"I never said that. I never said anything like that in fact. You're putting words in my mouth that were never there to start with. Can we not talk about this anymore please? Let's talk about you and Pete instead. I'd like to-"

"Yes! About time you let me get a word in on the relationship front. You don't even HAVE a relationship and you won't shut up about it…"

Piper took a breath to argue that it was in fact Polly who wouldn't shut up about Piper's relationship, but that would give her friend enough ammunition to pick up on the analysis again, so she let the words out silently through a long sigh instead as Polly rambled on about how wonderful Aussie Pete was as a boyfriend.

XXXXX

Piper arrived home with take out from the Chinese place around the corner and flicked the TV on before putting her coat down and pouring a glass of wine. She plated up her food and sat at the breakfast bar opening her mail as she twirled her chow mein noodles on her fork. One of the letters had the police emblem in the top corner and she set that aside until last. She finished her meal, glancing over at whatever reality TV show was playing until her plate was empty and stood to wash up. The last letter remained unopened on the table, almost glowing in front of her eyes to taunt her with the contents. Deciding that whatever was inside it could impact her good mood for the rest of the weekend and there was actually nothing she could do to change the information inside it, she left it on the table and went to sit in front of the TV with another glass of wine. She was already half way down the bottle of red and it was going down far too easily for her to stop before it was finished. Well, it wasn't like she was going out anywhere tonight. She could actually finish it and be more certain of a good night's sleep. Yeah, good plan Piper. She filled her glass again and brought the bottle with her to finish while she watched the voting round of the TV show she didn't know the name of. As she was searching around to pour the last of the wine into her glass, her phone beeped with a message. She leaned over to see it was from Alex.

'Hey, how was work? X'

'Hi. Fine thanks. How was your day? X'

'Good thanks. Got some tidying up done in the apartment, so nothing too strenuous. Want me to call you?'

'I'm heading off to bed actually, so there's no point. Sorry, just really tired tonight. X'

'OK, no worries. Is everything OK? Are you worried about your VSU appointment next week?'

'No. It's all good. I'm fine, really.'

'Do you want me to attend the appointment with you?'

Piper rolled her eyes and had to stop herself from sending back a snappy reply. She poured the last of the bottle into her glass and her phone beeped again.

'Pipes, I think maybe I should be there on Monday. Moral support and all that.'

'For God's sake I don't need a babysitter Alex! I'll be fine. I'm turning in for the night now. Goodnight. X'

'Goodnight Pipes. You know where to find me if you change your mind. X'

Piper downed the whole glass and went searching for another bottle, determined to make sure she slept that night and could block out everything that was starting to stress her out at the moment.

XXXXX

It was mid-afternoon by the time Piper woke up on Sunday and she sighed heavily after checking the time on her phone and seeing a few missed calls from Polly and several texts. She threw her phone back on the bed and turned over, deciding that she didn't have any plans anyway so why not have another snooze. She was woken an hour later by someone banging on the door. Piper pulled her pillow over her head, but the banging wouldn't stop for more than a few seconds. The noise was now accompanied by her phone ringing and there was no getting away from it.

"ALRIGHT! For fuck's sake, stop it!" She climbed out of bed, seeing that she was still dressed from the night before and thinking it was a useful state to be answering the door in at this hour. Piper walked to the front door and pulled it open sharply, to be instantly blinded by the sunlight beaming through around the shape of a woman standing outside.

"What is the fucking emergency Alex?" The brunette pushed passed her and walked into the living room.

"You tell me. Why haven't you been answering your phone?" Alex stood with her hands on her hips, waiting for Piper to close the door behind her.

"Because I didn't hear it?"

"What, all twenty times it has been ringing you didn't hear it?"

"Who's counting exactly? What's so important anyway that you have to call me twenty times?" Piper sighed as she pressed the door closed and slumped onto the sofa.

"I didn't. Polly has been calling you all morning and even called at the house earlier and you didn't answer. So of course, she's on the verge of calling the emergency services at this point. I said I would try, thinking you were maybe avoiding her for some reason. But, nope, you've just put everyone on mute by the looks of it."

Piper rolled her eyes and stood to make a coffee without giving any explanation.

"So, how is your hangover treating you?" Alex spied the empty bottle of wine on the floor by the sofa and the open bottle of vodka on the breakfast bar as Piper tried to quickly put it away.

"I'm not hungover. I'm tired is all. I think it's viral."

"If viral is the name of a vodka brand that is."

"I can have a drink if I want one Alex. It's not like I was driving anywhere or operating heavy machinery you know."

"I didn't say you couldn't. I asked why you didn't answer your phone or your door. Polly is going mad with worry because you haven't answered her. Which reminds me, I need to send her a message to let her know you aren't dead."

"Dramatic much? Why are you here anyway?"

"Polly called me and asked me to come around and see if you were OK as she's gone out to a Christening with Pete. I think she wanted some wardrobe support from you which spiralled into her calling me and accusing me of upsetting you at about 10am this morning when you didn't answer your door. So here I am."

"Oh. Do you want coffee then?"

"Yes please." Alex took her jacket off and pulled her phone out to type a quick text to Polly.

"Can you….not mention that I had a drink please? Polly will make a big deal out of it." Piper asked without looking directly at Alex.

"I won't say anything, but I want you to tell me what's going on."

"Nothing is going on OK. I just had a bit more than I realised is all. It's not like I was throwing up or anything."

"Maybe not. But you just got up and you slept in those clothes last night, so it's not like you had a couple of glasses to relax with your meal is it? Plus, you've been drinking vodka again. So, I'll ask you again. What's going on Piper?"

"I don't know, alright? I was feeling stressed last night and I needed to take the edge off a bit. I just wanted to make sure I could get to sleep. I just wanted to get some rest."

"So you drank enough alcohol to knock yourself out because you're feeling stressed…About what? What is it you're worried about? Maybe I can help." Alex walked over to the kitchen to help Piper finish the coffees.

"I don't know! Nothing! Everything! Stuff. I can't explain it. It sounds so stupid."

"Hey…..why don't you try me? If it's stressing you out, it can't be stupid. Come on. Talk to me." Alex took her by the hand and they walked to sit on the sofa.

"You won't understand…" She sighed, seeing Alex wouldn't be swayed by her trying to duck out of the conversation anytime soon.

"It's just….I don't know…..Like I feel as though everyone has an opinion on how I should be feeling or what I should be doing. Like…..Like I've got my independence back from the Dr now, but I see that I never really had it in the first place. Everyone wants to make decisions for me all the time and it's really annoying that other people influence what I do so much."

Alex nodded and sipped her coffee, but didn't interrupt the flow.

"And whenever I get angry about it or have a drink to block it out, that gets me another telling off. I'm not a fucking child. Does that even make any sense? I feel like it sounds pathetic."

"So when I texted you last night to suggest coming along to your VSU meeting, you thought that was me telling you what to do? Is that why you cut me short with the story about you being tired?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"OK. I didn't mean it in that way. I wanted to show you that I can support you and help you. In whatever way you need. I don't want to make any decisions for you. I just want to know how I can help you Pipes. I know you're not telling me the full story and maybe you aren't telling Sarah Phillips the whole story either, but if you don't talk about this stuff in your head, it's always going to be there to stress you out. You need to understand how to deal with it…..and I think Sarah wants to help you to do that, which is why she was talking about the exercise thing the other week."

Piper clenched her jaw to stop herself from an automatic attack on the whole 'talking about feelings' therapy that she didn't really believe in and took a drink of her coffee instead.

"It's not as simple or as easy as that Alex. I'm not some textbook example you can prescribe some group therapy for and I'll be all better and skipping through poppy fields."

"I never said you were. Although I think we're gonna struggle for meadows of wild flowers in New York anyway if that's your aim." Alex chuckled and nudged Piper to lighten her mood a little.

"Well, don't hold your breath for that scene to happen anytime soon then." Piper smiled weakly.


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N: Thanks so much to the reviewers leaving positive and constructive feedback - especially Madeintheus (I love your 'It can happen in an Instant' fic- please update soon!), mintgreenclarity (I totally agree with you!), WB79 (your dedication is awesome!), Izzielg (always leaves a review) and there are a couple of Guests who leave great feedback - I wish I knew who you were as your comments really help motivate me!**

 **I confess I read a review on my last chapter that made me think 'what's the point in giving up my limited free time to write stuff for this when people are so ready to kick you in the teeth'? I don't mind constructive criticism, but I'm not a writer. I thought I'd have a go because I so enjoy reading the fics that other people write on here and wanted to add another story to the mix so we all have updates to come back for. I wish I didn't take it so personally, but I wanted to punch someone in the chops this last week. Honestly, if you think it sucks and you can't help me make it better, just don't leave a review!**

 **Anyhow, rant over and I'm back with a new chapter. It's a tasty one and I hope you guys like it.**

Alex picked up their mugs to wash them up in the kitchen and opened Piper's fridge on her way there.

"I'm starving. Have you eaten anything today?"

"Um…no. There might be a can of soup in the cupboard but I think the bread might have grown legs and walked to the garbage already." Piper stood to look through the cupboards, sure there was something there to eat.

"Yeah, looks like he staged a mass walk out if your fridge shelves are anything to go by. Go get a shower and we'll get a burger at the place on the corner." Alex shooed Piper out of the kitchen as she washed up.

"OK, give me 10 minutes and I'll freshen up a bit."

Alex looked around the kitchen as she wiped the surfaces over, killing time. The cupboards hadn't been restocked properly for weeks and there was no fresh food in the house at all. She felt a bit guilty for not noticing that Piper wasn't taking proper care of herself sooner than this and thought about how little time and energy Piper probably had as she was recovering from her hospital stay and back to working full time.

"I'm ready if you are." Piper was back, wearing blue jeans and a red check shirt with sneakers, hair tied up in a loose bun.

"Great. I was starting to wonder if I could hunt down that mouldy bread." Alex grinned and picked up her jacket.

The burger place was close enough to walk, but Alex took the car anyway, saying she didn't want to risk fainting from starvation by using her muscles. After they ate large burgers and fries, they got back into the car and Alex headed in the opposite direction to where Piper lived.

"I assume you realise you're heading in the wrong direction to drop me home?"

"I do."

Piper waited for her to elaborate and the suspense was killing her when Alex simply concentrated on weaving through the streets. Finally, they pulled up outside of a Whole Foods store and Alex cut the engine.

"Is this our third date? In a grocery store? Polly was right, this is getting way too domesticated."

"What?" Alex knitted her eyebrows together.

"Nothing."

"We're filling your cupboards up and I have to do some shopping too. Two birds with one stone and all that." Alex shrugged and pulled a shopping cart out for them. She tried not to obviously watch what Piper was putting into the cart but found herself mentally putting the ingredients together to work out if there was going to be a few balanced meals in there and not just spaghetti hoops and microwave noodles. When they got to the fresh produce section, Alex loaded the cart up with bunches of green vegetables and fruit. Conscious of Piper's raised eyebrows at the veggie patch on wheels she was suddenly pushing, Alex turned to her and shrugged "Vitamins."

They got to the checkout and Alex automatically got her card out to pay.

"Alex, I can pay for my own food you know."

"I know. I want the loyalty points."

"No you don't. I'll get these."

"Piper, half of this is mine. More than half probably….I'll just…." Alex caught herself doing exactly what Piper was complaining about earlier and taking charge, so she shrugged her shoulders instead. "OK, I'll split it with you later then. Thanks."

Piper grinned at her victory and Alex couldn't help but smile that such a small gesture could give Piper a feeling of getting some control back as she turned to pay the cashier.

They got back to Piper's apartment and unloaded everything to sort out what belonged to Piper and what Alex was taking away with her. As Piper was looking for space in the fridge to put some yoghurt, Alex came behind her and snaked her arms around her waist, resting her chin in Piper's shoulder.

"Well I guess it's officially over then."

"Over? What's over?" Piper turned her head to look at what Alex was looking at.

"Your mouldy bread can't bring his crew back in now as you already rented out this vacuous space he was complaining about being so lonely in. Your new tenants look comfy in there though, don't you think?" Alex grinned as Piper elbowed her in the ribs.

"Hey, I don't hang around. I move on. Just you remember that." Piper winked.

"Oh really?" Alex kissed Piper's neck and moved her fingertips just far enough beneath Piper's shirt to touch the skin of her waist.

"Really." Piper's stomach muscles tensed a little at Alex's touch on her skin.

"Well I'm not sure how I feel about that. We have just had our third date after all." Alex moved her lips over the skin on Piper's pulse point, breathing lightly against her warm neck before sucking gently as she felt goosebumps rise on her neck.

"Well…..that means that we are in fact…..dating…." Piper was struggling to concentrate enough to make complete sentences now as Alex's fingertips moved a little higher on her torso, moving in small and slow circles as they reached the bottom of her ribs.

"I suppose it does….." Alex whispered against her ear before taking her lobe between her lips and tugging it softly. Piper moved her hands over the top of Alex's willing her to move her fingers higher under her shirt as she pressed herself back into Alex to feel more of her. The electricity shooting between them was heightening all of Piper's senses and she was fighting the urge to turn around and force the pace into something much more frantic. She wanted to take her time and savour the familiar feeling of Alex on her skin.

"Does that mean we…are official then?" Piper's breathing was shallow and she closed her eyes as she felt Alex's fingertips skim the underside of her breasts, stroking them unbearably softly.

"Mmmm, that depends…" Alex moved her hands higher still, grazing them over Piper's hardened nipples before squeezing both breasts firmly quickly and rubbing her palms over the top of the stiffened buds.

"Ffffffffuck…..on what?" Piper was prepared to give Alex whatever answer she wanted as she felt herself melting into her touch and her need to feel more running through her blood.

"On if it's this full fridge we're staring at that's making you horny or me." Alex pecked her on the cheek and chuckled as she continued to move her hands over the top of Piper's lace bra.

Piper turned around quickly, her eyes dark with lust and they stared at each other intently for a few seconds. Both of them were breathing heavily now and Piper couldn't stand the distance between them.

"Let's go to the bedroom and find out shall we?" Piper took Alex by the hand and they hurried to where the bed was still unmade. The blonde leaned down to pull off her shoes and socks while looking at Alex as though she was the last meal in town. Alex kicked off her own shoes before Piper pushed her back onto the bed and crawled over to straddle her before leaning down to press her lips against the brunettes with a fierce hunger. Alex smiled into the kiss and pushed Piper back a little to breathe.

"We've got all night babe. Unless you've got that fridge lined up after me?" Alex sat up and smiled, pulling Piper up off the bed with her as she stood up.

"OK, I thought we were gonna…." Piper was confused by Alex stopping their progress towards something she was very much looking forward to.

"C'mere." Alex pulled Piper into a soft kiss, moving her lips over the top of Piper's and cupping her cheek with one hand as she took Piper's lips between her own and sucked on them gently. Piper moaned into the kiss and moved her hands over Alex's hips, pulling them against hers. Reaching down to the check shirt, Alex began unfastening the buttons one by one until she reached the bottom and could push the shirt from Piper's shoulders, letting it fall behind them. Piper deepened the kiss by running her tongue along Alex's lips slowly, encouraging her to part them and let Piper inside her hot mouth as the brunette ran her hands up Piper's sides to cup her breasts and knead them with her palms. Alex moaned into Piper's mouth as she ran her thumbs over the top of Piper's bra and felt how hard and wanting her nipples were. She slipped her hands around the blonde's lithe frame and unfastened her bra swiftly, slipping the straps down her arms as she brought her hands back around and allowed the lingerie to drop to the floor between them. Alex dropped her eyes to look at Piper's naked upper body and felt her stomach flip with want, realising that this was the first time since they'd been together again that Piper had any of her clothes removed. She dropped her head lower to kiss a trail down from Piper's neck and across her collarbone, sucking the skin softly as she moved her wet lips further south as she hands moved lower down her torso to reach the waist of her jeans. Alex skipped over the waistband to move her hand over Piper's mound to cup her over the top of the material. Seeing Piper's eyes roll back in her head and drop her head back a little, Alex pressed a little harder and found Piper grinding a little against her fingers now. Moving her lips over the top of Piper's pert breasts, Alex stuck her tongue out a little and pressed it over the top and over the underside of each breast in turn and she continued to push her hand against Piper's hot centre. As Alex moved her hand back up and began to undo the button on Piper's jeans, Piper stilled a little and pulled back.

"Keep them on a while. I want to see you naked first." She kissed Alex again and moved her hands beneath her tee shirt to lift the hem up. Alex stopped their kiss to pull her top over her head quickly before resuming their kiss and moving her hands back to press against Piper's centre again over the top of her jeans. Piper brought her hands up to unfasten Alex's bra and pulled it from between their bodies before pressing their chests together to feel as much skin on skin contact as was possible at that moment. Alex pushed her tongue deep into Piper's mouth and sought to taste every part of her as their mouths clashed together and Piper continued to rub herself against Alex's hand. It was not nearly enough for either of them and Alex moved to Piper's jeans to unfasten the button again before Piper pulled her hips back.

"You first." The blonde smiled as she took her own hands down to undo Alex's jeans and knelt down to slowly drag them down her long porcelain legs, revealing her skin inch by delicious inch. Alex kicked off the jeans when they reached her ankles as she was standing in only her black panties now.

"Happy now?" Alex grinned as Piper was still on her knees before her.

"Not quite." Piper leaned into Alex's centre and kissed inside her thighs, parting her legs slightly with her hands as she kissed higher up until she was able to place an open mouthed kiss onto Alex's panties, sticking her tongue slightly beneath the edge of them and dragging it down towards her pussy lips.

"Fuck….Pipes." Alex gasped and moved her hand to the back of Piper's head.

"Mmmm, you smell so good Alex. It's making me so fucking hungry for you right now." Piper put her mouth over Alex's soaking centre and blew warm breath through the fabric as her fingertips played with the edges of the panties.

Alex put her own thumbs through the elastic of her panties and shimmied out of them, leaving her standing in front of Piper completely naked. "Let me help you with that request." Alex softly pulled Piper's head back towards her dripping centre and the blonde grinned up at her before sticking her tongue out while maintaining eye contact with Alex. Both women were pulsing with lust for each other and their eyes were so dark, they were practically the same colour. Piper plunged her tongue between the folds of Alex's soaked pussy and hummed in appreciation for the taste that flooded her tongue as she pushed further in.

"Ohhhh…fuck me…fuck me Pipes…fuck…" Alex rocked her pussy gently against Piper's tongue, which was probing between her lips with more force, as though tasting every part of her was a mission. Piper pushed Alex's legs further apart and moved her fingers up to open her girlfriend more and allow her tongue to go deeper. She ran her tongue along each fold in turn and sucked her lips into her mouth, nibbling them a tiny bit every once in a while, making Alex jump with surprise. Sensing Alex was getting close to her release, Piper put her hands on Alex's ass cheeks and pulled her closer so she could hold her firmly as she licked her with long and firm strokes from her soaking wet entrance up to her clit where she firmly flicked her tongue as though in a flourish at the end of every long stroke. She took her hardened nub into her mouth and sucked it softly before pinching it gently between her lips, repeating the motion until she felt Alex clutching the back of her hair and stilling briefly before she could feel the shudder of her orgasm vibrating through her body.

Piper continued to hold her by her quaking hips as she gently lapped at Alex's pussy, drinking in as much of her cum as she could before Alex couldn't stand any longer and pulled her towards the bed. Alex laid back on the bed and pulled Piper with her.

"Fuck….I needed that." Alex chuckled as she pulled Piper on top of her. Feeling her jeans against her sensitive clit, Alex looked down and then back up at Piper. "I think these have to go. Far too many clothes on you right now my hot and going steady girlfriend." Alex reached down to undo the jeans and Piper stood up quickly. "It's OK. I'll do it. It's easier." She pulled the jeans down her legs, revealing a pair of white panties before kicking the jeans off the rest of the way and resuming her position lying on top of Alex.

"Better. But still too many clothes…" Alex smiled as she kissed Piper slowly and put her hands on each of Piper's ass cheeks, massaging them slowly. Piper settled herself between Alex's legs as their kiss deepened and Alex pulled Piper against her centre again by pressing her ass rhythmically against her already sensitive pussy. Sensing Alex's arousal was increasing again, Piper began rotating her hips gently to grind into Alex's still wet pussy. She could feel the moisture pooling between her own legs still and Alex moved her hands to push down Piper's panties so they were underneath her ass cheeks now as their make out session got hotter. Piper pushed Alex's legs up so they were bent at the knee and spread wide, giving her access to thrust her own pussy more forcefully against Alex's.

"Fuck…this is hot babe…is this turning you on?" Alex murmured in a low and husky voice.

"Yes. You turn me on." Piper whispered as she stilled a little to press their pussies together and feel Alex's juices dampening the front of her panties still more.

"Take these off…I want to feel you. All of you." Alex kissed her and moved her fingers beneath Piper's waistband but the blonde grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"No. I want to leave them on." Seeing Alex's confused eyes, Piper kissed her again. "It's kinda hot having this barrier between us."

"Hot because you're driving me crazy knowing your delicious pussy is hidden away from me?" Alex moved her hands up to pinch Piper's nipples between her thumb and forefinger as she waited for an answer.

"Mmmmmm, hot because I can feel you soaking my panties with your pussy juices."

"Well I'm all for a free market. Why can't we swap pussy juices without the middle man?" Alex reached down again to feel Piper's dripping pussy through her gusset. Piper froze and grabbed Alex's hand to pull her away.

"I said no Alex!" Piper sat up on Alex's hips, glaring at her. All of the lust in her eyes immediately gone as though it had never been there. The brunette immediately sensed something was wrong and held both of her hands up by her head.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I just thought…." Alex looked into Piper's eyes to try and work out what she'd done wrong. The blonde's eyes were like a rabbit caught in the headlights, searching for a reason to offer the woman lying beneath her. Piper wasn't moving and she wasn't talking either. Alex didn't know whether to reach out to her to soothe her or whether that might make things worse, so she laid still and spoke softly.

"I'm sorry Pipes. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to feel you is all…It's OK. I won't do that again…."

After a few moments, she felt Piper's body relax above her a little and the blonde closed her eyes. Alex waited, lying still, not sure of whether to let Piper speak first or pull her close to her and comfort her. Seeing silent tears moving down the blonde's cheek as she straddled her, Alex lifted her hand up to softly brush the tears away with one hand, holding herself up with her other elbow.

"Hey. It's OK….It's alright. I'm sorry Piper. I really didn't mean to hurt you. Whatever I did just then, just tell me and I won't do it ever again. I'm so sorry babe." Alex pulled herself up so that she could sit up, with Piper still stretched across her hips.

"Can I hold you? Is that OK? I just want to hold you close. I won't do anything to hurt you…" Piper opened her eyes, letting more tears flow and she nodded her head. Alex leaned in and pulled the blonde against her, Piper's body immediately wracking with sobs.

"I'm so, so sorry babe. I couldn't bear to hurt you. I didn't realise that would upset you." Alex rocked Piper in her arms gently as she stroked her naked back. Piper readjusted her body so that she was sitting between Alex's legs and could stretch her own legs out behind Alex's back. It was a very intimate embrace and the closeness was something that both of them needed at this time. Piper continued to cry, tears wetting Alex's shoulder so much they were running down Alex's body. The only sounds between them were when Piper gasped for breath to fuel another silent heave of emotion or Alex cooing and apologising into her ear every so often.

It got dark outside and Alex pulled the duvet up around Piper's body to keep her warm, but neither woman moved to break their embrace or to speak. Alex continued to stroke Piper's hair and rock her gently as the heart-wrenching sobs subsided and were replaced by more silent tears. They had been sat like that for what felt like hours when Piper eventually pulled her face back to look at Alex.

"I have to pee." Piper smiled as she wiped her face and sniffed. Alex smiled and run her hands over Piper's cheeks to clear her tears away before kissing her on the end of the nose. "OK. I might do the same if my hips aren't locked into this position for eternity." Piper smiled again before backing out of their lock hold and putting her bathrobe on from the back of the bedroom door.

Alex swivelled her hips around to sit on the edge of the bed, groaning slightly at being able to move them properly again. She had no idea what had just happened with Piper but wondered if it had anything to do with the attack. Maybe she had remembered more about that night than she was telling anyone and whatever Alex had just done to her had triggered something in her memory. Alex was pulling her tee shirt over her head when Piper came back into the room.

"You're leaving then. Can't blame you really." Piper put her robe on the back of the door and made her way towards the bed.

"What? No. Call me old fashioned, but I don't like walking around ground floor apartments naked when all of the blinds are open and I need the lights on. You only have one robe and it was occupied at the time." Alex crawled back onto the bed and kissed Piper on the cheek. "Do you want a glass of water when I come back?"

"Yes please. Sorry, I just figured you were running for the hills."

"Nope. We're dating remember? I've got girlfriend duties to perform now." Alex smiled as she backed off the bed and wandered to the bathroom.

Returning from the kitchen with two large glasses of iced water, Alex set them down and then went to check all of the doors were locked and lights out before sitting up against the pillows next to Piper and drinking some water.

"So, do you want to talk about what just happened?" Alex ventured, hoping that Piper wouldn't try to run out on her.

Piper picked up her drink and took a couple of big gulps before setting her glass back down and turning to look at Alex. The blind was still open and the moonlight was shining through the window, so she could make out her outline next to her, but it was dark enough that it wasn't as intense as seeing the whites of her eyes.

"I'm sorry Alex. I didn't mean for that to happen. It's not your fault. Really, it isn't anything you did."

"It was definitely something I did that caused you to react like that though. If you didn't want to have sex with me, you could just say you know. I would never-."

"I did want to Alex. Really I did. You're fucking gorgeous and amazing and I know you'd never push me to do something I didn't want to…..Well, in the bedroom anyway."

"OK, I'll give you that in the circumstances…..You seemed fine apart from me taking your clothes off. Is that what was bothering you? Is it a body image thing? Because you're totally hot, ripped in fact and you have nothing to worry about in that-."

"It's not that Alex. I just…I haven't let anyone touch me like that in a long time. It….freaked me out."

"Is it because of the attack?"

"No. Well, maybe a little. I guess that is part of it."

Alex took her hand and rubbed her thumb over Piper's knuckles as they sat in the moonlight.

"What happened to you Piper?"


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Thank you very much to all of those people who reviewed or sent me a PM after the last chapter. It's been a real boost to get so many positive vibes from you and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Plus, so many of my favourite ongoing stories had new chapters posted this weekend - I'm trying really hard not to read them all at once and savour each one ;-)**

 **Important developments in Piper's backstory in this chapter to explain some recent events. Some of you have been braced for it (Brace! Brace! For those who haven't). Also want to say top marks for MadeintheUS for spotting and remembering the intimacy dynamic from previous chapters. On with the story...**

Piper closed her eyes for a minute, just concentrating on breathing. She felt like she was backed into a corner now, with Alex waiting patiently to whatever she was about to say. Her heart was racing with indecision about what to tell this person she had reconnected with only recently. How was she supposed to even start to explain something that she didn't fully understand herself? Glossing over it didn't seem to be an option right now. Alex could smell bullshit a mile away and she couldn't easily explain why she had frozen when Alex tried to take her panties off with anything that was far from the truth. She was angry at herself for letting this come to the surface when she'd been able to keep a lid on it for so long and seem to be in control to everyone around her. Alex would probably think she was even more a fuck up than she already suspected and probably make her excuses and back out of her life. Feeling Alex lift her hand and kiss her knuckles, Piper squeezed her hand without looking at her. She squeezed her eyes closed and felt tears pricking her eyes again, signs of the dam she had built up breaking as she frantically thought of ways to keep the walls reinforced.

Alex shifted in the bed so that she was facing Piper and she reached out to gently turn the blonde's face towards her so she could make eye contact before brushing her hair behind her ear and wiping away the tears with her thumb.

"Pipes, it's just me and you here. I'll just listen if that's what you want me to do. It doesn't matter what you say or where you want to start. Beginning, the end or a random selection from anywhere in between. Nothing you say will change how I feel about you, OK? It's breaking my heart to see you this way and I can see you're hurting….."

The tears started flowing again and Piper put her face into her hands to feel less exposed with her raw emotions yet again. Alex pulled her against her shoulder again and soothed her back. "Oh sweetheart, I wish I knew how to help you."

Piper pulled away and stood up suddenly, leaving the room and Alex stayed where she was. A few minutes later Piper returned with a box of tissues, a few balled in her hand, before sinking back onto the bed and pulling the duvet back over her.

"God, I feel so fucking pathetic." She sniffed. "I've spent half the night bawling like a damned child." She wiped her face with the ball of tissues. She looked over to meet Alex's eyes, the brunette slightly turning up the corners of her mouth in a comforting smile.

"I fucking hate this. I don't know how to tell you what you want to know and you might wish I'd never told you when I'm finished. I also don't know how I feel about telling you this. It's like….I don't want to let it out of the box because I don't know what harm it's going to do…..to both of us. But I know you're going to keep pushing me to open that box without realising what's inside…..It's a fucking monster Alex. Can I tell you that and leave it there? I can live with what's inside because I know what it is." Piper's eyes were pleading with Alex to leave the subject be and accept that it was something that might be best left alone. Alex reached out to cup her hands on either side of the blonde's face, lifting her face to meet her eyes.

"If you're living with that monster, I want to be there with you. You're right, I have no idea what I'm asking of you right now and I don't know what the implications might be. I do know that I want to be right by your side to fight it though. No matter how big and scary it might be." She brushed Piper's hair behind her ear before moving the duvet over her legs as she continued to sit cross-legged opposite Piper on the bed.

Piper sighed and rubbed her face before resting her chin on her fingertips and observing Alex, hoping for a last minute reprieve. None was forthcoming, so she took a deep breath and decided to let it out.

"Darryl didn't rape me. I told you that already and it's true. I don't remember much from that night, but knowing that he almost did and that he was able to….expose me like that…has brought back memories that I didn't want to have to think about ever again. I've been able to compartmentalise it and shut it away like it didn't happen. I thought I was dealing with it…" Piper shrugged her shoulders and looked at her nails, focusing on pushing the cuticles back as she thought about what she wanted to say next.

"What memories Piper?" Alex asked gently after she didn't speak for a while.

The blonde squeezed the ball of tissues in her hand as tightly as she could, feeling her heart beating so fast it might give out at any second. Was there a way through this conversation where she could skim the details and give a half truth? Probably not, seeing the intense look on her girlfriend's face as she waited for her to continue.

"I was…attacked when I was in prison." Piper looked directly at Alex as she spoke and saw her face drop to an expression that seemed to be somewhere between horror, fury and like she was about to throw up. She could see her swallow and tears formed in her eyes as she looked away from Piper for a moment, wiping her eyes.

"I'm sorry Piper…..I don't know-" But Piper cut her off, conscious if she didn't get these words out now, they might never get spoken and she'd already gotten this far.

"I hadn't been there long when it happened and I didn't understand the way things worked yet. I'd maybe been there for…I don't know…3 weeks or something. I'd seen some of the male guards sneaking into supply closets or store rooms with inmates and I felt like it was something inappropriate that was happening. I kept an eye on them and there were two guards in particular who were doing it, always with the same girls. Vulnerable women who were either mentally unstable or had an addiction and they were coming out wiping their mouths or straightening their shirts….I saw the guards fastening belts as I passed a crack in the door, so I knew they were taking advantage of these girls. I spoke to my counsellor about it and he said he'd look into it, but nothing seemed to happen. I insisted on seeing the warden and told her about it. She seemed shocked and I figured it would be dealt with properly and was doing these girls a favour by speaking up for them."

"Jesus, that's fucking horrendous. The guards are supposed to take care of prisoners in there!"

"I know. You'd think they'd be grateful right? Apparently not. I was walking to the showers one morning when a couple of the women from a particularly rough crew stopped me from going in and said I'd ruined a very profitable business arrangement for them and needed to work out a way of paying them for their loss of earnings. I wasn't about to fall into a trap of being blackmailed for the money that they thought I had access to as a rich white girl. I'd been warned about that by my counsellor and it wasn't advised to talk about my background in there. The advice was basically to keep myself to myself and don't make friends for the duration of my sentence and that's exactly what I was trying to do. It meant that nobody had my back at this point though, so I had no idea how to handle this situation. Maybe it would have ended differently if I'd have just agreed to pay them…." Piper looked out of the window briefly before looking back at Alex.

"They probably would have asked for more and it wouldn't have stopped at that one time I guess. You refused to pay them, right?"

"Yeah, I said I didn't have access to any money and my parents had cut me off when I got sent away. They said there were other ways to pay and took hold of my arms, dragging me into the showers…..The two guards I had seen in the supply closets were already in there with a couple of other girls from the same crew as the ones who brought me in. I tried to scream and kick out to stop them from pulling me inside and alert another guard but they covered my mouth and there were enough of them in there to pin me against the wall and hold me by the throat." Piper moved position to bring her legs up under chin to hug them with her arms now.

"Did they hurt you?" Alex's voice was barely audible as she reached out under the duvet they shared to move her hand up Piper's foot to soothe the skin around her ankle. Piper moved her hand down to pick Alex's hand up away from her skin. The contact somehow seemed too intimate when she was talking about this and the feeling of her skin being caressed felt like it was burning. She felt tainted suddenly, like Alex shouldn't be touching her without gloves. Piper couldn't breath and Alex's proximity to her in the bed was almost suffocating. Closing her eyes to stop herself from feeling dizzy, Piper rested her head on her knees to try and bring her heart and breathing back under control. Alex reached out to touch her shoulder and Piper recoiled, leaping from the bed to stand by the window.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have done that!" Alex tried to keep her voice calm, but she was suddenly terrified that Piper was about to run. "Don't leave Piper…We can do this. Together."

Piper forced herself to look at Alex on the bed. She could see the fear in Alex's eyes as she sat, poised to leap up and stop Piper from running. It made her feel trapped, like she couldn't escape and the claustrophobia was overwhelming her. Doubling herself over to try and get some blood to her brain to prevent herself from passing out, she focused on inhaling deep breaths, trying to distract herself from the overwhelming nausea she was feeling.

"Just focus on your breathing…..deep breaths Pipes…in through your nose….then out through your mouth…deep breaths…just think about getting as much air into your body as you can through your nose…that's it."

Piper dropped to her knees and hunched over with her palms on the floor, trying to get close to the ground in case she did pass out. After a few minutes, she started to shiver uncontrollably and Alex pulled the duvet off the bed to wrap it around her, careful not to stay too close to the blonde in case she got spooked again.

After a while, Piper sat back against the wall, pulling the duvet around her shoulders. Alex stood to pick up Piper's robe to put it on since she was also getting a little cold, wearing only a tee shirt on the bed.

"Sorry. I guess I'm being a bit greedy here." Piper smiled weakly.

"It's OK. If that duvet stops you from leaving me, I'll gladly take a hit of pneumonia to keep you here."

"I'm not going to leave you Al. I just needed a little space…..Talking about this is a bit overwhelming and I know that seems stupid."

"It doesn't. Not at all. You do whatever feels best for you to do right now. OK?"

Piper nodded and pulled the duvet around her shoulders again as her teeth started chattering.

"I'm going to make some chamomile tea, would you like some? Might warm you up a bit?"

"Yeah, please." Alex stood to go to the kitchen and Piper found herself following her with the duvet, not wanting to be too far away from the brunette whose presence was such a comfort to her.

Alex busied herself boiling the water, focusing on the task without saying anything as Piper watched in silence from the sofa. Her knees pulled up to her chest again, trying to still her chattering teeth as she watched the brunette pour the water into two mugs a few metres away.

"They raped me." Piper focused on Alex's back as she was faced away from her, trying to see if the brunette had heard her. Seeing how Alex froze in her movements confirmed that her girlfriend had indeed heard her.

"One of the guards forced a tee shirt into my mouth to stop me from making any noise and the four girls held me against the wall while he pulled my pants off so they could pull my legs apart…" Alex's head dropped and she started to turn around before Piper stopped her.

"Wait! Don't look at me Alex, please. I need to get this out now and I think I can only do that if I can't see your face when I say this." Piper's voice was breaking and she took some deep breaths to get it back under control. Alex stopped and didn't move or say anything.

"He said I was going to have to learn the way things worked around here and I should remember this lesson the next time I thought about trying to be teacher's pet. He gave one of the girls a screwdriver and told her to cover it in soap from the dispenser by the sink, then he…forced the handle inside me…." Piper wiped her face before she continued sniffling only a little now as there were hardly any tears left inside her tired body by this point.

"He was rough and told me to look into his eyes while he did it so he could see how much I was enjoying it or he'd use the other end of it to gauge my eyes out when he was done. The other guard was beating off right in front of me and they swapped places after a few minutes. There were a couple of girls stationed outside the showers to stop anyone from coming in and interrupting them, but it started to get busy in the hallways and they told me to put my clothes back on and go back to my dorm for count like a good little girl. If anyone was to find out about their lesson, they wouldn't go as easy on me next time. They carried on with the day just as though nothing had happened." By the time Piper had finished speaking, her voice had become emotionless and matter of fact about it. She never took her eyes off Alex the whole time she was talking, so that way she felt as though she was sharing with her, but without the pity or loathing or whatever other feelings she might have being visible to her. Alex still hadn't turned around and neither of them spoke for a while as they sat in the darkness and Piper looked at the floor as she rocked back and forth on the sofa.

Piper jumped from her thoughts on hearing something smash against the wall behind her, looking up to find Alex leaning onto the breakfast bar with both hands and breathing heavily before turning to see tea running down the wall of her living room. Alex swept her hands over the kitchen tops and pushed everything onto the floor, the kettle breaking on the floor still half filled with water as it hit the ground. She turned to swipe everything off the window sill behind her as well and threw the plates and mugs from the draining board against the wall too, smashing and dislodging a photo of Piper's graduation day with her family in the process. She was on her way to clear the kitchen table of the vase before Piper jumped up and ran to hold her from behind, straining to keep her arms by her sides before she damaged anything else.

"Hey, hey! Stop that….Enough." She crushed her arms around the brunette's ribs, pinning her arms to her sides and pressing her against the breakfast bar with the front of her body against Alex's back. Alex fought to free herself for a moment, but Piper was crushing her tightly against her with her arms locked around her chest.

"No more." She whispered over and over against Alex's shoulder blade. The tension in Alex's muscles was emanating from every pore and Piper felt like she had jumped on a grenade and wasn't sure if the pin could be pushed back in. She could feel her rapid breathing expanding her chest and relaxed her arms only slightly to allow her to breathe, resting her head against her shoulders. They stood like that for a long time, Piper not daring to let go of her girlfriend in case she lost it again. Eventually, Piper felt Alex's muscles relax a little as she began to cry. Piper didn't know what to do and simply rested her forehead against Alex's back while continuing to hold her as she cried quietly, still with Piper's arms wrapped around her tightly, restraining her from moving anywhere.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: Good evening / morning / afternoon folks! This has been the hardest chapter to write so far as there were so many ways the story could have gone from last night and I've changed it so many times I might have preferred a multi-choice for you to select from! It's too big a topic to move on from too quickly, so I'm not gonna lie, we're in an angsty phase and there are ZERO unicorns to be found on this page...**

 **Thanks for the continued support, reviews and follows - you guys are so good to me. Hope you have a good weekend people :-)**

The worst part was over and Piper felt some relief that she didn't have to hide this anymore from Alex, but wished that she hadn't been forced to share that burden with someone else. Telling that story meant it was real and she didn't want to be treated differently as a result. She was still holding Alex tightly from behind and found some comfort from being able to feel the warmth of Alex through her tee shirt and the familiar scent inhaled as she breathed was soothing in itself, even though they hadn't spoken or made eye contact since her revelation a few minutes ago. Piper needed to close the conversation off somehow or they'd be like this all night.

Releasing her grip from Alex, she moved to the side of her and moved the curtain of dark hair that was covering her face with her hand, putting it behind her ear.

"Alex?" The taller woman sniffed and wiped her face with her forearm, bringing her glasses up into her hair to keep it back so she could dry her eyes a little.

"Alex, look at me." Piper reached up to stroke her fingers along the brunette's cheek. The taller woman turned around to face Piper for the first time since she told her about the attack and her eyes filled with more tears as soon as she did. Alex looked up to the ceiling and blinked them away quickly before looking at Piper again.

"OK?"

Alex shook her head and spoke softly. "Am I OK? How can you even ask me that after what you just told me?"

"Alright. Maybe that was a stupid thing to say, but I don't know what the right words are in this situation. I meant, can I trust you not to break any more of my stuff I guess?"

"Sorry….I'm so fucking sorry….For all of this." Alex started crying again now, apologising between sobs. Piper stood next to her awkwardly for a while.

"Well, I was thinking about getting some new crockery sets anyway. I guess you've helped me to make my mind up…." Piper looked around at the mess of broken plates and glass all around them.

Alex banged her hands on the kitchen top. "How can you make a fucking joke out of this?!"

Piper took her face in both of her hands again and looked her dead in the eye before talking sternly.

"Hey! Don't lose your shit on me now Alex. You wanted me to share this and I haven't got my head around what it means to have told you this yet. It's fucking raw for me right now to have this out there and I need you to be strong because I don't know how else to deal with this. I can cope with this on my own, but I can't do this for both of us…..Do you understand me? I'm making a joke because I'm trying to steer us away from the pit of despair we're teetering on the edge of right now."

"I don't know if I can be who you need me to be. I feel so ill equipped…. I never expected you to tell me something like this…..Jesus, I was expecting a mugging story! Never…..this." Alex ran her hand through her hair, not sure how to deal with this, or with Piper for that matter.

Piper lost her temper in an instant. "I fucking warned you Alex! I told you this was not a box I wanted to open. But, NO, you wouldn't let it fucking lie would you?! You had to keep on at me until I cracked. And NOW you're looking in your toolbox for some sort of fucking manual to help you out?! Well, newsflash…there isn't one!" Piper snapped, throwing her hands in the air.

"That is NOT what I meant and you know it!"

"Do I? Do I know it?! How the Hell am I supposed to know? Did you seriously think I was such a fucking pussy that I would lose my shit like this over someone stealing my purse?! Jesus Alex…give me _some_ credit." Piper started to walk towards the lounge to get some space between them.

"Ow! Fuck!"

"What?"

"There's fucking GLASS everywhere Alex!" She picked her foot up to inspect what was jabbing her in the toe and pulled a shard of broken glass out. "Don't move anywhere. There's broken shit all over the floor and we've both got bare feet." Alex looked down at the damaged kitchen ware all around her on the floor before looking back up at Piper. "Fuck. We're trapped like 5 year olds playing alligators."

Piper hoisted herself up onto the breakfast bar and swivelled her legs around to stretch them out and reach over to the sofa with her feet, pushing off to roll onto the sofa. "Well jumping around the furniture isn't quite as much fun when you're trying not to bleed on it." She mumbled before Alex did the same and joined her on the sofa.

"Alright, OK, I'm sorry. I meant you need some professional help to deal with this. No, I didn't expect to hear you tell me….that. But I'm glad you did and of course I want to be there to help and support you. I just don't want to mess anything up by doing the wrong thing. It's not that I'm backing out. I said I wanted to stand with you to fight this monster and I absolutely will do that – _especially_ knowing what you're dealing with, we're dealing with. I just want to do it right…..Gimme your foot. Did you get all the glass out?"

"I think so. You'll have to put the light on, I can't see."

Alex let out a deep sigh and rubbed her face as she walked over to the switch near the door. "God this is so fucked up."

"Yes. I'm with you on that." Eventually, Piper turned to Alex and sighed. "Isn't this where you're supposed to tell me to think of the stories I'll have?"

Alex got on her knees in front of Piper and lifted her foot to inspect for glass. "I hardly think that applies right now."

"You always used to say it in times of suckiness. I think it definitely applies…" The blonde muttered loud enough for Alex to hear as the brunette put her foot back down. "Looks like you're good, but you should put some antiseptic cream on that just in case."

The house phone started ringing and Piper looked at Alex, a sense of panic washing over her. "I'm going to have to get that. It will be Polly and she'll come around here if I don't pick up this time." Alex nodded and went to pull her boots on before searching through the bathroom cabinet for some cream and a sticking plaster.

"Hello?"

"Hey Polly…Yes, I'm fine…..I know…Yes…..Alex came around earlier…No, I put it on mute when I was in bed last night and forgot to turn the volume on in the morning…..What time did you call round?...Oh, I was in the bath then, sorry…Yeah, I know…..I'd forget my name if it weren't on all my ID cards…"

Alex found what she was looking for and headed back into the kitchen while Piper talked on the phone. She brushed up the broken glass as quietly as she could and put the broken pieces into bags lined with paper to stop the glass from tearing through before wiping up the spilled liquids as best she could. There was mayo, tea, water and white wine vinegar all over the floor and it took several towels to clear it up. Alex was still wiping things over when Piper put the phone down to Polly.

"Well, I think I survived the Spanish Inquisition. She thinks my phone was muted. Let's leave this until the morning now. I need to go over everything to make sure every piece of glass is cleared in the daylight, so no walking around in bare feet OK? Leave your shoes this side of the bathroom as that's our clean zone now."

"OK. I don't mind clearing it up though. It is my mess after all and I'm going to replace everything I damaged, don't worry about that."

"We can both do it in the morning. Come on."

Alex picked up the cream and sticking plaster and followed Piper back into the bathroom. "Here. Do you want me to do it or do I need to just kiss it better at the end?" They both smiled, remembering the times when Piper had cut herself when they used to be together and she had insisted on Alex kissing the sticking plaster to help make it better every time.

"Just kiss it better." Piper grinned and washed her foot off under the Fawcett while Alex went to retrieve the duvet from the lounge and drag it back onto the bed.

They got washed and Alex knelt down to kiss Piper's toe sweetly before they climbed into the bed together. Even though they were both emotionally drained from this evening's events, neither could switch off from going over things in their heads and they lay in silence for a while. Piper was considering the temptation to change the subject to something more light hearted, but actually she was too tired to have a whole other conversation about anything at all.

"Pipes?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll never forgive myself for this you know. If it weren't for me naming you to save my own ass, none of this would have happened." Alex was laid on her back, staring at the ceiling through eyes that were watering yet again. Piper sighed and turned to face her.

"None of us knew any of this was going to happen. There's no point in you going over the ifs, buts and maybes. Believe me, I've spent a lot of time and energy doing that already and it's exhausting."

"Did you tell anyone about the attack at the time?"

"I decided to not take any chances on another attack, so I didn't tell anyone. I was pretty bruised and sore for a while, but told everyone it was bad period cramps and laid low in my bunk. There was some bleeding over the next week, but it stopped and I figured I was healing OK. It's not like the medical station in a prison have any real interest in sending you to an OBGYN anyway. They pretty much give you weak pain killers and check you aren't going to die on them."

Alex was quiet for a while. "You haven't told _anyone_ about this?"

"No. What was the point? I'd get the same again if I snitched and anyone who might've cared couldn't prove anything because there wasn't any evidence. How would my parents have reacted to me telling them that when I'd only just begun my sentence? They would be destroyed by it and it wouldn't change a thing about what happened except they would report it and I'd end up with God knows what kind of payback torture."

"Fuck Piper… I can't believe how you've kept this to yourself all this time. How the Hell have you been carrying on a relatively normal life?"

"It took a while to bury it, but I locked it away when I left prison. I took it as starting a new chapter and closing off anything that happened in there, plus I knew there was little chance of me ever seeing any of them again. Only that fucking douchebag Darryl had to fuck all of that up…"

"What have you told Sarah about it?"

"Not much. She knows I was attacked, but she thinks it was an altercation with an inmate."

"Are you going to tell her what really happened?"

"I don't know. It's not sunk in that you know about it yet. It's not something I'm ready to share with the world you know? Please, please do _not_ tell anyone about this. I know I probably don't have to ask you that, but I really need you to promise me you'll not discuss this with anyone. You are the only person I've told about this and I can't stomach the thought of having to go through this with my Mother or even Polly. OK?"

"Yes, of course. It's your decision. I won't say a thing to anyone." Alex turned to face the blonde on her pillow.

"Pipes?"

"Yeah."

"Would it be OK to hold you, like put my arm around you a bit?"

"Yeah, I think that would be nice." Piper moved closer and lifted her head for Alex to snake her arm underneath as she rested it back on Alex's chest and put her arm over Alex's stomach. Alex rested her hand across Piper's back, the flat of her palm on her side.

"Is this OK?"

"Yeah, that's nice."

"Good. You'll tell me if you're not comfortable with something though, right?"

"Alex, you're not going to break me. You don't need to ask my permission every time you want to hold my hand or kiss me. We're not in elementary school. You're my girlfriend. I'm kind of expecting it." Piper lifted her head to look at Alex and reinforce the message by leaning up to kiss her on the lips briefly.

"I don't want to trigger anything and you've freaked out a couple of times when I touched you tonight. Maybe we should take it slow again?"

"I'm not ready to analyse this and I don't know what to tell you…. I'll tell you if I'm not comfortable with something is the best I can offer, but I want to be close to you. I'm not uncomfortable with this contact."

Eventually, Piper drifted off to sleep lying on Alex's chest. Sleep just wouldn't come for Alex though as she lay in the darkness, staring at the ceiling and trying not to disturb the woman lying in her arms with her thoughts.

Piper slept in the brunette's arms all night and Alex's alarm on her phone woke them at 8am. She reached over to put her glasses on and turned the alarm off. Piper had also been woken by the noise and she lifted her head off Alex when she moved to get her phone to lie on her own pillow. Her neck was aching from sleeping in the same slightly raised position all night and she squinted at the daylight streaking through the open blind in her bedroom.

"Good morning." Alex leaned over to peck Piper on the cheek.

"Good morning yourself. Do you have to go to work this morning?"

"No. I can send Nicky a message and ask Lorna to open the place up this morning if you want?"

"Look at you all relaxed about someone else having the keys to the kingdom."

"Relaxed is pushing it. Accepting is maybe a better word for it. I've come to realise that I can't watch them all 24/7 and I have to learn to trust they know what they are doing now. I'm at the end of a phone if the shit hits the fan anyway. I can always go in later if you want to get rid of me?"

"Sarah is coming at 10, so I was planning to be at the store for lunch time."

"OK, well I can drop you off on my way then. I guess we should get the place cleaned up before she gets here or she'll be crunching glass as she walks in the door."

"Good point. I'm gonna put some sweat pants on to clean up before I get in the shower. Do you want to borrow some?"

"Yeah. I'll just call Nicky to let her know I won't be in first thing and check Lorna has the keys with her."

Piper got dressed and left some clean clothes out on the bed for Alex before slipping on her shoes and heading into the kitchen. Alex had made a good job of it already, so she got the vacuum out and ran it over every surface to get any stray shards as well as going over their footwear to make sure nothing would be trodden into the carpet further down the line. She felt like it was a CSI situation she was clearing before Sarah arrived and Alex came in as she was putting the vacuum away.

"Good job. I'll see what I can do with that tea stain on the wall, but you might need to redecorate. Will your landlord be OK with that?"

"Yes, as long as I don't go for crazy colours, he won't even notice." Piper waved her hand dismissively.

It was 9:15 by the time they had emptied the trash and cleaned everything down. Piper was ready to head into the bathroom to shower when she saw Alex picking up her things.

"Are you leaving?"

"Er…I wasn't sure if you wanted me to stay while you had your meeting, so I was going to head out and get some coffee - since I broke your coffee machine last night. I will replace that and everything else I damaged of course."

Piper walked over to where Alex was standing and reached for her hand.

"Will you stay for the meeting? I don't know if she'll want to ask about the attack again and I think I'd feel better about that if you were there. Would you mind?"

Alex pulled her girlfriend into a warm embrace, speaking softly. "Of course I'll stay. Do you want me to pick up some coffees anyway for when she arrives? Do you know what she likes?"

"No need to do that. We can have water or instant if necessary. Actually, we can have a fresh smoothy since my blender was safely stashed in the cupboard last night." Piper smiled before leaning in to kiss Alex on the cheek. "I'm just going to have a quick shower and then I'll get onto the ingredients list if you want to get it out."

Piper went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Leaning over the sink to check her face in the mirror, she could see dark circles around her eyes from recent events. She was trying to put on a brave face for Alex which mostly meant avoiding the topic that was causing her so much anxiety. She hadn't expected Alex to lose her temper last night, but she also hadn't foreseen her girlfriend feeling so guilty about everything either. She shouldn't be surprised about that, but she didn't have the energy to maintain this superficial smile forever for the sake of protecting Alex's feelings as well as her own. Saying a problem shared is a problem halved is all well and good until you realise it's a bit more than you were expecting to be sharing half of. Piper turned the shower on to warm up as she undressed and watched the steam cover the mirror before stepping under the hot water to wash some of the anxiety down the drain. She could do this. If Alex was true to her word of standing by her side through this, she could have the conversation with Sarah and see where it leads.

Alex was sitting on the sofa, texting Nicky when Piper came back in all showered and changed into black jeans and a cream sweater.

"Hey. You ready for one of my super smoothies?" Piper rolled her sleeves up and opened the fridge to get her ingredients out for a kale and broccoli special.

"You know me, I'll try anything once…..But there is a lot of green there….are you sure you have a recipe?" Alex followed her to sit at the breakfast bar.

"Trust me. This is gonna taste delicious and it's sooo good for you!"

Piper had the blender on when Sarah knocked at the door, but Alex was keeping an eye on the time and watched from the window when 10am arrived, so she opened the door. Piper switched the blender off and followed Alex to the door as Sarah stepped through.

"Hey Sarah, how are you?"

"Hey Piper. I'm really good thanks. How are you guys doing today?" Sarah put her files down to take her coat off and Alex waited to take her coat to hang it by the door.

"Oh, Sarah. This is my girlfriend, Alex. I think you guys have met before?"

"We have. Although I don't remember her having that title last time? In fact, you didn't correct me when I asked if you had a boyfriend or husband who could help you in one of our previous meetings?"

"No, you're right on both counts there. It's new. Well, it's not exactly new. It's complicated. Nevermind." Piper shook her head, not wanting to get into this right now.

"Complicated? OK, say no more. I find relationships with women often are!" Sarah laughed and Piper couldn't stop herself from enquiring if Sarah had current experience of that, leading Alex to raise an eyebrow at her from behind where Sarah was sitting.

"Oh, I have recent experience of complicated yes. I just got out of a relationship with my partner of 3 years, so I'm all about simple and no strings at the moment. Certainly not looking for a U-Haul chaser put it that way." She smiled genuinely and Alex decided to prevent any further interrogation from Piper by offering her a drink.

"We're all out of tea and coffee I'm afraid, but Piper just made a smoothy if you fancy it? Or water maybe?"

"No, I just got out of Starbucks actually so I'm fine thanks."

Alex walked over to pour out the smoothies for her and Piper and let them start their meeting. She didn't want to sit in on it from the start like she was supervising it.

"So, are you redecorating?" Sarah asked, looking around at the bare walls and tea stained marks in front of her.

"Oh. Er, yes! It needs freshening up a bit, you know how quickly things start to look tired."

"I do. I wouldn't have thought you'd get tired of your graduation photo with your family though." Sarah nodded towards the wonky and smashed photo still hanging limply from the wall.

"Ah, yes. That was an accident."

"OK. Let me ask if you've had any more occasions this last week where you've got angry over something then. Has that happened Piper?"

"Er….let me think…..No, I don't think I have, no."

"Are you sure this wasn't a result of you getting angry? It kinda looks like angry to me."

"No. Really, I've been fine. It was an accident. I was using the extension on the vacuum and it got stuck, so I forced it and it went back into the wall and hit the photo. Stupid really, but I'll need to get a new frame. It only happened this morning. I left it up to remind me to get a new frame when I'm in town later." Piper flashed her WASP smile and looked up to take her drink off Alex, who sat next to her on the sofa.

"OK. So, you're alright with Alex joining us in today's session I take it? That's good that you've got some support with you."

"Yes, Alex offered and I thought it would be good to have her here with me for moral support." She reached over and put her hand on Alex's knee.

"Great. I understand you've got the all clear from Dr Shetty now as well. How are you finding it having your independence back? Are you managing OK?"

"Yeah, fine. It's nice to get back into a routine you know. Thanks for the good report to help with that by the way." Piper flashed the WASP smile again, checking off another tick in the report box in her head and thinking at least a few more minutes of their session were already over before anything got too difficult.

"So, have you got many appointments today? I don't know if you have a busy time of year in your field of work…We've been quiet at the store recently but Alex thinks it's just the hangover from Christmas and we'll get busier once everyone gets paid again at the end of the month…"

"Yes, I have a couple more appointments today and then I'll head home to write up my reports. I'm sure Alex is right about things getting busier at the end of the month for you. Is that something you're worried about Piper?"

"Yes. Polly and I both have bills to pay – Polly is my best friend, and she's been working really long hours on her own while I've been off but I've still been paid for that. I feel guilty that one person had to manage at the busiest time of the year when we needed to make the most of the season and I took a wage without contributing."

"I'm sure Polly understands why. The attack you suffered was quite an ordeal. Has it been on your mind since we last spoke?"

Piper stiffened slightly before replying. "Not really, no. Just trying to forget about it really and –."

Alex put her arm around Piper's shoulders before leaning in to kiss the side of her hair softly above her ear. "You can do this." She whispered, her face turned away from Sarah. Alex leaned forward to drink some more of her smoothy before sitting back and resting her palm on Piper's back, moving her hand up and down slowly. The blonde turned to look at Alex, eyes full of fear and nerves. Alex nodded her head and smiled as she continued stroking her hand up and down the small of her back.

"Um, I have been thinking about it actually."

"OK. What is it that's been on your mind?" Sarah smiled gently, her hands resting on top of the notebook that Piper was burning holes with her eyes on. Suddenly, the enormity of speaking to someone who was more 'official' was terrifying. This was about so much more than Darryl and Piper was at a loss for where to start.

"I….er….we…talked about it last night, didn't we Alex?" Piper looked to the brunette for some support, as though she could tell the story on her behalf and save Piper the words. Alex leaned forward again and reached for Piper's hand on her knee, intertwining their fingers together before resting their joined hands back in her lap.

"We did. And last night was the hardest step to take, but it's only the first. I'm right here with you to take the second." Alex held her eyes, as though they were the only two people in the room. Piper grasped her other hand over the top of Alex's and squeezed them together as her knees jigged up and down. She took deep breaths and tried to calm her racing heart, looking at their piled up hands in Alex's lap. Sensing Piper was on the verge of a panic attack, Alex moved her hand to lift Piper's chin to look at her again.

"Have a sip of that delicious green drink and think about nothing more than breathing deep breaths."

"I don't think I can do it Alex….Maybe you could tell Sarah what I told you last night while I wait in the other room?" Piper said hopefully.

"Oh sweetheart…If I could take what happened to you, your ordeal….and make it my own to take away the memories and the pain for you, I would in a heartbeat. You don't know how much I wish I could do that for you….. But it's your truth to speak of." She stroked her fingers over the blonde hair that had come loose around Piper's face and sat back a little to give Sarah and Piper a clear view of each other.

Piper took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she exhaled, before opening them again and looking at Sarah.

"I….er…told Alex last night that I was raped while I was in prison."


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: A short update this time, from Alex's POV though. Thanks Librarybook, WB79, prooffice, emj137 and guests for reviewing too :)**

Alex cleaned up the glasses in the sink while Piper showed Sarah out. She was proud of Piper for being able to share what happened to her with a relative stranger, and having done it so soon after sharing it for the very first time ever with her. It had been a very difficult thing to have heard for a second time, especially when Sarah asked more questions. Last night, she had not wanted to push Piper with her own questions as she had been so certain that the blonde would run out on her that she tried to reign in any questions and leave it for Piper to set the pace of the very difficult conversation. Hearing Sarah deal with the topic in a much more measured and yet sensitive way made Alex feel inadequate and ill equipped as a support mechanism for her girlfriend. She had completely lost her mind last night, hearing that from Piper, and had found the emotions overwhelming at the time. Yeah, way to go Vause. Your girlfriend shares a deeply personal and emotional scar with you and you flip out and break half her kitchen in a temper. Selfish and stupid. Just like her reasons for giving Piper up in the first place and putting her in that situation.

Piper closed the door behind her and sighed deeply. "Fuck. It's out there now. It just left these four walls and got into a blue sedan, on it's way through the streets of New York this very minute and on it's way to a computer in an office someplace….About to be made into some sort of a report no doubt." She folded her arms and looked out of the window, watching Sarah's car pull away.

She dried her hands and made her way over to where Piper was staring out into the empty parking space. "It's confidential Pipes. Sarah can't do anything with that information unless you tell her it's OK. Yes, she has to write up the notes and that makes a record of it for the first time. That's bound to freak you out. But it will not go any further without your permission. That's what she said, right?" Alex leaned against the wall on the opposite side of where Piper was, so she could see her but not invading her space.

"Yeah, she said that. It just feels strange to have her knowing about it." She shrugged and left to go into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Alex went to put the dish towel back and busied herself tidying the kitchen while she waited for Piper to come back. She really didn't think it was a good idea for her to be going back to work this afternoon, but she had a pretty good idea that Piper would flatly refuse to stay at home and would prefer to throw herself back into work mode and pretend this conversation didn't happen. She was texting Nicky about the whereabouts of an order sheet when Piper came back, all ready to head out.

"Ready when you are Alex. Can you drop me at the coffee shop on the corner and I'll get Polly some lunch before I go in?"

"Em…hang on, let me send this…Right. Yes, I'll drop you wherever you like. But do you think it's a good idea to go in? Maybe you should stay home or take a walk or something-"

"Alex, this happened years ago. There's no reason ANYTHING has to change at this point. I'm not suddenly incapable." She put her coat on, signalling the conversation was over. Alex picked up her things and they headed to the car.

After a few moments, Alex tried to press a little more once they were in the car."OK, but maybe you could finish early or something?"

"I'm FINE! Can we change the fucking subject please? I'm bored of the current one." The blonde turned to stare out of the window as Alex started the engine. They drove in silence for a while as Piper was fixed to have the back of her head to Alex for a good 10 minutes. It was driving Alex mad that Piper was in shut-down mode and she didn't know whether to leave her with her own thoughts or change the subject. Piper had barely had a moment to herself since telling Alex and she'd soon have to put on a brave face in front of Polly, so she figured silence was probably the best option. Arriving at the coffee shop, Alex went to pull in before breaking the atmosphere in the car.

"I won't say anything about this to anyone you know."

"Thanks." Piper turned to give a half-hearted smile as she unclicked her seatbelt.

"Do you want me to pick you up tonight? I could swing by and get you as I-"

"No. It's OK thanks. I'll take the subway. I don't know what time I'll be finishing anyway as there's some paperwork I promised I'd sort out." Piper was already opening the door.

"OK, do you want me to come over tonight?"

"No, it's OK. You've got your own stuff to do. I was going to call my Mother anyway and then I'll probably have a bath and an early night. Do you mind?"

"Of course not…..Pipes?"

Piper was already half closing the door as she stopped and ducked back down. "Yeah?"

"Call me if you need anything. Or if you change your mind about a lift or company later."

"I won't, but thanks Alex." She turned to walk to the coffee shop without so much as a backward glance, leaving Alex in the car. Was it wise to leave Piper on her own tonight after all that had happened in the last 24 hours? What if she started drinking again? It's not like she could ask Polly to keep an eye on her either in case her eagle-eyed best friend wanted to dig deeper into the reasons for her being concerned.

"Fuck!" Alex banged her hands on the wheel. She thought for a moment before getting her phone out and texting Poussey.

'Hey P. You still planning to renovate your apartment? I've got someone who can take that wall down for you today if you like? Ask no questions, you'll get no invoices ;-)' She got an instant reply back.

'Er…yes… Since I'm not allowed to ask questions, come get the keys '

She drove to NY Logistics to quickly get Poussey's apartment keys, before heading to her own place to change into sweats and a tight vest top, pulling a hoodie over the top and grabbing a coffee before heading back out in her car to the hardware store. After picking up what she thought were the essential supplies, she headed over to Poussey's apartment and struggled up the two flights of stairs with a sledge hammer, electric saw, dust sheets and a few other bits.

Setting the dust sheets over the furniture and doorways to stop the dust from getting everywhere it shouldn't she put the dust mask and eye goggles on and selected a Ramones playlist on her phone and put her ear buds in to begin self-therapy.

As she battered the wall with the hammer, Alex went through the process of her turning over information to the police and what she might have been able to get away with not telling them if she could do it all again. She saw the faces of the police team she was fist giving the information to, who didn't believe her. She could have walked away right them and this never would have happened to Piper. WHACK! She saw the faces of their bosses, who insisted on her proving herself and turning over some of her colleagues in the ring. They were collateral damage, but still…she could have stopped there and said that was all they were getting. Piper didn't need to be mentioned. WHACK! She saw the faces of the higher ups she and her Lawyer had to negotiate a deal with where they said _every_ name must be given or it was no deal. How would they even know about Piper so long after they were together? WHACK! She saw her own face, asking Piper to make the trip to take the drug money to Belgium, convincing her it would all be OK. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Alex swung the sledge hammer until her muscles were screaming in pain and she could no longer lift it. Kicking it to the side, she started kicking the plasterboard and beating her fists against it instead. Finally, her head rested against the partly demolished wall, blood covering the chucks of plaster that were hanging on around the woodwork as she sobbed against the dust mask and slumped down onto the floor, defeated. Pulling the goggles and mask off, defeated, she thought about what had led to this.

What kind of a heartless, cold bitch does that to someone they love? The only person she ever loved besides her own Mother. The only person she ever met who would never knowingly or willingly hurt another person. The most pure and innocent person she ever got involved in that business. Even the younger drug mules had a mean streak or a dangerous streak running through them. Piper was passionate about saving the environment, eating healthy and yoga. How would she ever have ended up in prison without meeting her? Alex remembered the night she first saw Piper in that bar, how she approached her initially sussing her out as a potential mule and discounted it straight away. Even within 5 minutes of talking to Piper, she already knew she was too innocent and pure to pass as a mule. She fucking knew it, yet she was selfish and weaved her web to draw Piper in anyway. Because she wanted her. Piper could have handed her CV in and left that night, going back to her normal life and working in a bar or as a teacher, anything she wanted. She had the whole world at her feet the night she met Alex, and the brunette fucked all of that up for her own self-serving reasons.

It was impossible to make this up to Piper and it was pointless to even think about it, but she couldn't help but think of grand gestures. Eight years ago, she'd buy a necklace or an expensive new dress and use her money to pacify her girlfriend at the time. She knew Piper never really fell for those methods and she wasn't materialistic in any sense, but the blonde would always relent eventually and let Alex win her over with her charm or seduction. There was no way of buying her forgiveness and how could she ever expect to be forgiven for any of this anyway?

She wiped her face with her dusty arm and stood up to survey the damage on the wall as well as her hands. Her palms were bloody from pounding her fists against the wall and she rinsed them in the sink before drinking from the tap to quench her thirst. Putting gloves over the top of her bloody hands, she plugged the electric saw in and dragged it over to the wall before putting her goggles and dust mask back on. She cut through the wooden framework to finish the job that she'd started. As much as her reasons for volunteering were personal, it wasn't fair to half wreck Poussey's living space and walk out before finishing the job, so she set about clearing the wall from floor to ceiling.

Alex was pulling a piece of wood out of the nail securing it to the floor when she was tapped on the shoulder by Nicky.

"Shit Nicky, you scared the life out of me!"

"Sorry about that. I did shout you, but the combination of your beanstalk stature and your awful taste in music drowned me out."

"Mmm, you'll be shooting arrows at my ankles and dragging me to the floor with ropes if it happens again will you?"

"Huh?"

"Gulliver's Travels?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Nevermind." Alex pulled her dust mask down so Nicky could hear her better and lifted the goggles into her hair. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh. Poussey said there was a last minute renovation going on and I came over to check that whatever 'staff' was arranged at such short notice weren't taking any payment from the apartment without the owner's consent. Poussey is seeing that College girl later, or she'd be here herself with a baseball bat…or sledge hammer….that works too…" Her eyes roamed over the tools at Alex's feet before moving back to Alex and raising her eyebrows.

"Well, as you can see, I don't have a TV under my arm."

"I see that….Want me to pat you down to check your pockets?" She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Er, no. Think you're going to have to trust me on that."

"Really? You could be hiding an awful lot of gear in those bras you wear Stretch…I've seen them in the laundry at your place. I reckon you could easily get, what, like a pound of stuff in each cup there…" Nicky held her cupped hands out and juggled them as though weighing her breasts.

"Yes, really."

"Spoilsport. Well, I guess you'll have to hope there's something tasty in my bra for you then." Nicky bent down behind her to lift up two bottles of cold beer, holding them aloft and wearing a grin.

"Normally, that would repulse me. But you're turning me on for the first time in your life tonight." Alex pulled her keys out and used the bottle opener to pull the caps off both.


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: Anyone there? Hi! Weekend upload for your reading pleasure coming right up then. Hope you have a good weekend everyone! I'm starting mine with a cider-infused sleep the moment I press 'launch' on this. Mostly no drinking and typing you'll be pleased to hear, but drinking and proof-reading might be a bad combination, so...meh, you'll work it out ;-)**

Piper picked up lunch for her and Polly on her way and headed into the store through the front door.

"Hey Pol, brought you a salad box for lunch." She waved the paper bag in the air before putting it onto the counter. Seeing Polly screw her face up, she rolled her eyes.

"And a large blueberry muffin to maintain your progress towards a diabetic coma."

"And THAT is why you and I remain friends." Polly eagerly pulled her lunch from the bag and ate it while answering in single words as Piper asked her about how busy the store had been and whether they should worry about the sales figures yet.

Polly balled up the empty box and threw it in the trash, turning to Piper to cut her off from another question about profit margins. "So now we've established that our business model hasn't changed in the last 48 hours since we last discussed it, where the Hell were you yesterday when I needed help with my dress?"

"I told you, I had my phone on silent and I must have been in the bath when you called round."

"I have known you long enough to call BS, but since SuperCunt was better at hide and seek than I was, I'm going to let it slide and not bother with a sermon on being a responsible adult and BFF. THIS TIME…."

Piper rolled her eyes and went to move away from the scene of further interrogation.

"Ah-ah. You're a captive audience for the rest of the day since we only have like 3 rooms for you to hide in here. How was the VSU meeting? Have you got to keep having them?"

"Ugh, Pol. I don't want to talk about it."

"Why? Was it really that bad?"

"Yes... No. There's nothing to tell. I just get sick of talking about it. It's extremely fucking boring quite frankly and all this touchy-feely talking about feelings really isn't my thing."

"I don't know why you're always so allergic to talking about this stuff. You were exactly the same when I had to physically push you into AA meetings. What's the worst thing that could happen? They give you some advice and you try it?"

"It's embarrassing. Most people never have to go to anything like this for the entire lives and I feel like I'm always being signed up for them against my will."

"That's probably because you don't have a positive attitude to them in the first place though. If you go in there all crossed arms and scowly-faced from the start, you're already planning for it to fail so you can shout 'I told you so' when you come out."

"I do not!"

"That. That is exactly the face you have when you are going to one of the meetings. I've seen it every time we went to AA and I put money on it being exactly the same face you have before you open the door to Sarah and put your fake smile face on. How right am I?"

"Polly, you don't see how patronising it all is. It's so textbook, I could do it myself from self-help videos on YouTube if I wanted to."

A couple of customers came into the store and Polly lowered her voice to a whisper.

"Maybe, but a physical appointment with a professional is making you do it. I think it's a good thing. You should stop sulking about it and open your mind to the actual possibility it might help you." Polly walked around the counter to see if the customers needed any help, leaving Piper staring at her back with a mouthful of ifs and buts that Polly wasn't interested in hearing.

XXXXX

Alex downed half of the cold beer before setting it on the floor and heading back to finish pulling the piece of wood off the floor. Nicky sat on top of the dust sheet over the sofa, clearly not bothered by the dust she was going to be wearing.

"So, is this another career break?"

Alex pulled at the wood until it came loose and she stacked it by the wall with the rest of the lengths before responding.

"What are you on about?" The brunette stopped what she was doing and turned to look at Nicky with her hands on her hips, sighing.

"Last time you disappeared from work at short notice was to play nurse with Piper."

Alex rolled her eyes and went back to kicking the wood into a pile.

"And how long is it going to last this time?"

"As long as I want it to."

"Right. Could you maybe be a bit more specific about how long you want me and Lorna to be opening up for?"

Alex picked up her beer again and shrugged. "You keep telling me I don't need to be there to watch you all the time, so you should be happy I took your advice."

"You don't stop being a control freak overnight. As much as I like you taking time off, this isn't exactly the beach vacation I was trying to talk you into is it?" Nicky gestured towards the pile of rubble by the wall.

"It's a city break sabbatical."

"Can I say this new careers advisor you've got yourself must be pretty persuasive?"

Alex sat cross-legged on the floor across from Nicky, leaning against the wall. "Can I ask if you've got another one of these in your bra for me?" she waved the near-empty beer bottle at her friend.

"No, I haven't. Because I have to make sure you don't leave Poussey's place a mess and you can drive home. Do you want to tell me why you're knocking down walls instead of signing these new contracts you just won us for Europe?"

"Not really. I just needed to break something and I knew this needed breaking as part of the plans to make it open plan. There's something I CAN fix apparently."

"Is it Piper?" Alex just looked at Nicky before draining her beer.

"That's all the answer I need." Nicky stared at her friend, waiting for her to add words to the glare she was receiving by way of conversation continuity right now. "Aaaand, it's obviously all the answer I'm going to get from you in this mood. Right, fine. I'll only say this once though. If you want to talk about it, I'm prepared to listen. I'm about to leave you with a gap to fill with that talking. Here it is, the floor is yours Vause." Nicky leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, watching as Alex rolled her eyes. After about 2 minutes of Nicky being completely silent and staring at Alex, trying to communicate and encourage her to talk with moving her eyebrows and eyes, she gave up.

"The offer just got closed. We're moving on….Do you feel better?"

"A bit." Alex shrugged and looked up at her work.

"Good. I'll help you clean this place up a bit so Poussey doesn't end up falling over this stuff when she gets back later. I'll let her use one of the trucks this weekend to move this stuff to the city dump." Nicky necked her beer and started piling the debris up into the rubble bags that Alex brought from the hardware store earlier. She worked in silence and her friend stood to give her a hand by holding the next bag open for her.

"Thanks Nick."

"What for?" Nicky pushed the plasterboard down to the bottom of the bag.

"Bringing me beer…..And letting me be an asshole….But mostly for bringing me beer." Alex grinned as Nicky rolled her eyes.

"Whatever Vause. Now help me fold up these dust sheets over the top over this lot and we're good to go."

Nicky said she'd text Poussey to tell her to watch where she was stepping when she got home and they got in their separate cars to head home. Alex hadn't slept at all last night and today's exertions were catching up on her as she yawned on her way back. Throwing her keys on the table, she shrugged her jacket off and dropped it on the sofa before pulling her boots off. She felt filthy from all of the dust and couldn't wait to get into the shower, but checked her phone for any messages first. There was only one from Piper.

'Thanks for staying with me last night and I'm glad you were at the meeting this morning. x'

Alex smiled and saw that it had been sent about an hour ago. Maybe the bit of space had given her time to calm down a bit. She typed out a message on her way to the bathroom.

'You're welcome. Will you be OK tonight? X'

She pressed send and put her phone down before peeling off her dusty clothes in the small utility room for washing and heading to the shower. Her hands were sore as she ran them through her hair to rinse the dust away and her muscles ached from swinging the heavy hammer. The hot water felt good pounding against her back and she could have stayed in there a lot longer if it weren't for the fact that she was practically sleeping while standing under the shower head now. She turned the water cooler to wake herself up a bit and rinsed off before drying off and pulling on some sweats and roughly drying her hair. All of the manual work today had really built up an appetite, so she called to order a pizza from her local favourite before checking to see no reply had come through from Piper. Argh! She knew she shouldn't leave her on her own tonight, especially with what she'd opened up about in the last 24 hours. She either really wanted some alone time or she was going to open a bottle of vodka and drink away her feelings. It was impossible to tell which when she wasn't getting a reply. Thinking for a minute, she called Piper's number and thought she'd try and talk to her to just ask if she was OK, then at least she would have a better measure for whether to give her some space or not. It rang out and switched to the answerphone and Alex hung up before it beeped to leave a message. After pacing the floor for a few minutes in hope of a call back, she decided to throw some clothes and a toothbrush into a bag before picking up her car keys and heading back out into the night. Collecting the pizza on the way, she headed over to Piper's place and parked outside. It was in darkness and Alex suddenly thought it might have been a better idea to call first and see if she was going to be in.

Locking the car up, she slung her bag over her shoulder and headed up the steps with a pizza in her hand. It took a couple of knocks before she saw a light go on inside and Piper came to the door.

"Alex….hi…Are you delivering pizza in your spare time now?" Piper raised an eyebrow and stepped back to let her inside.

"Have you eaten tonight?" Alex stepped through the door and pecked Piper on the cheek before putting the pizza on the table. She dropped her bag onto the floor as she went to get some plates.

"No."

"Then, yes. I'm delivering pizza. Extra ham and mushrooms, just as you like it. You want some water?" Alex was walking around as though it was her own kitchen and Piper was the guest.

"Thanks. I was just having a bath actually." Piper pointed to her wet hair and robe.

"OK, well you can always warm it up when you come out of the bathroom if you want to get back in the tub." Alex plated up half the pizza and poured a glass of water before dropping onto the sofa and flicking the TV on.

"But make yourself at home while I do that won't you?" Piper raised an eyebrow, causing Alex to grin with a mouthful of pizza. "I will."

It was 20 minutes later when Piper returned, towelling her hair dry in her PJs. Alex was lying back on the sofa and Piper could see she was sleeping soundly. She walked over to her girlfriend, smiling at how peaceful she looked and leaned down to gently remove her glasses and brush her hair out of her face. She went to the kitchen to warm up some pizza and sat at the bottom of the sofa by Alex's feet, moving carefully so as not to wake her as she did. After watching the end of the obscure vampire movie Alex had put on, she moved to clear up the pizza and lock the doors before waking the sleeping beauty on the sofa with a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Come on gorgeous. Let's get you in my bed since you packed a bag and all." Pulling a confused Alex up by her hand, Piper led her to the bathroom with her things and Alex got washed and changed for bed while Piper was already snuggled.

"Still no pyjamas then? Have you ever owned a set in your whole life?" Piper laughed as she glanced up the long porcelain legs extending out from the bottom of a short black-grey band shirt that was barely covering her ass.

"I like to travel light." Alex sauntered over to the bed and groaned as she crawled under the covers.

"Ironic, since you're wearing a Prince of Darkness top to bed."

"Mmmm. Comfy though." Alex snuggled into Piper's side, her eyes already closed and on the verge of sleep.

"So, can I ask what the surprise visit is for?"

"Girlfriend business." Alex mumbled as she put her head onto Piper's chest and laid her arm over the top of her stomach, pulling her body closer.

"OK…what kind of girlfriend business?"

"Protection."

"Protection?" Piper wrinkled her nose in confusion.

"Yep." She leaned up and kissed Piper on the cheek quickly before supporting herself on her hands and leaning over the top of the blonde's face, brushing a strand behind her ear.

"Last night, my girlfriend told me about a monster she was afraid of. I'm here to keep an eye on the monster and make sure my girlfriend is safe and sound all night." She leaned down and kissed Piper slowly and chastely on the lips before smiling and moving back to her previous position across her girlfriend's body.

A small smile came across Piper's face as she laid holding Alex in her arms, a flicker of hope that they might be OK starting to take hold in her heart.


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: I'm not going to lie, I'm a little star struck right now. Like a long service award, I hit 50 chapters in this fic and I got 2 celebrity follows. RJVause is a name I've seen many times leaving positive reviews on OITNB fics and of course I've read 'Sweet Silver Bells' and 'Something Good'. Well, this weekend I got my RJVause stamp folks...Yeah! Welcome :-) Not content with that, the author of my favourite ever OITNB fics also became a reader...Who is that? I hear you wonder...It is none other than FaeCym of course! The first ever fic for any fandom I ever read was 'Covering Up' and I was totally hooked ever since. I also really like long stories - shocker since this was a one-shot, right?**

 **Goodness, I seem to be writing an exceedingly poor awards speech...Anyhow, I might have ejm137 to thank for these new follows by the sounds of it, so thanks very much for your ongoing reviews and the good vibes you've been sending :-) Thanks also to bgal24, Librarybook, prooffice, WB79, OzisOz, MadeInTheUS and the Guests who are reviewing too. I really appreciate you taking the time as always.**

 **Soooo...the story! That's what you're here for...double weekend update too. THAT is how happy you made me. I ALMOST wrote a unicorn into this just for prooffice I was so excited ;-)**

At 6am, the alarm on Alex's phone started beeping and she fumbled around the bedside table to get her glasses and switch the phone off quickly. Piper stirred, but Alex soothed her back to sleep and kissed her forehead before gently slipping out of bed and pulling some jeans and a hoodie on before leaving Piper to dream a little longer, tiptoeing out and closing the door behind her. She had to take a conference call with one of the European companies they were signing a new contract with and pulled her laptop out of her bag to get set up with Skype in good time for the meeting to start. After searching around the kitchen to make a coffee, she was reminded of the fact she still had to replace the broken kettle and coffee machine amongst a lot of other things, so she put a pan of water on to boil for at least a hot cup of tea to wake herself up. As the water was heating, she set her laptop onto the dining table and searched around the back of the small bookshelf for a plug socket to charge her laptop, knocking a pile of papers off the top as she stretched the wire over. Alex bent down to pick them back up and noticed there were three unopened envelopes addressed to Piper with the NYPD logo on them. The postmarks showed they had been sent over the last week, but on different dates. She tapped them against her fingers for a moment, pondering whether to bring this up with her girlfriend or not before putting them back amongst the other papers and slid them back onto the shelf they fell from.

The water boiled and she poured some tea before getting her paperwork out to prepare for the call at 7am. She highlighted various sections of the terms and conditions where she wanted to agree some different wording with them and add a couple of bonus options for meeting the service levels before getting her headphones out to start the call. Her Lawyer was joining them too, so they had a brief discussion together first about the areas Alex wanted to change so he was in agreement before they logged into the group skype call. Their Lawyer tried to play hardball to start with, but Alex's requests were very reasonable and the bonus options were based on them meeting high service targets where everyone would benefit from the positive deliveries. Alex explained her reasons for rewording the terms calmly and justified why they changes were needed, also agreeing to a couple of additions the Italian company wanted to make. The call was over in an hour and the agreements were left with the legal representatives to progress as new versions before signatures could be arranged soon. If all went as planned, they could have contracts signed in the next 10 days, which would be in time for a large high end hairstyle fashion show taking place in Milan in a couple of months. That deal alone was going to be worth about half a million dollars in shipments after costs to get all of those hair company products over for all of the fancy celebrity hair stylists to try out. Alex really had a lot to thank Mark in London for from their brief meeting and she was so glad that she'd made the effort to go out the in person to deal with what could have been really bad for business, but in fact ended up potentially being a massive money spinner for her now.

Tidying away her papers, she could hear Piper was in the shower and checked her watch to see it was already 8:15 and they wouldn't have time for a proper breakfast before they both left for work. Getting a change of clothes from her bag, she headed towards the bathroom to find Piper just closing off the water in the shower. Alex quickly ducked inside to move the towel away from where Piper was reaching behind her for it, mischievously waiting for Piper to see her holding it like a trophy by the door.

"Well good morning to me!" Alex grinned at the blonde as she lurched toward the towel as the brunette moved it quickly behind her back.

"Alex! Give it." Piper tried to stand nonchalant in front of her, holding her hand out and waiting for Alex to hand the towel over. Standing dripping wet and naked in front of Alex was never going to be an incentive for Alex to give her something to cover up with, so all she got back was an ear to ear grin and a raised eyebrow as green eyes ran over her body from top to delicious bottom. Piper changed tactic or they were not going to get out of the bathroom anytime soon with Alex ogling and blocking the exit.

"See something you like Ms Vause?" Piper winked and swayed over towards her smirking girlfriend.

"I certainly do."

Piper put her arms around Alex's neck and pulled the taller woman down for a kiss, pressing her wet body against Alex in as many places as she could. Alex moved her hands up and down Piper's back, moaning slightly at the slippery skin under her fingers as she drew them down from her shoulder blades and her toned back, towards her waist and pressing slightly harder around her hips as she pulled Piper more firmly into hers. Piper dropped her hands slowly, tracing over Alex's breasts with feather-light touches and down to the hem of her hoodie and t-shirt together. Pushing them up slightly so she could touch the skin beneath, Piper gripped the edges of them tightly and slowly started to pull them up until they had to break their kiss as it reached the brunette's face.

Alex lifted her arms up to allow Piper to remove her tops and the blonde pulled them up and to the top of Alex's arms, to the point the necks of the offending garments were stuck under the taller woman's chin, needing a sharp tug to pull them free. At that very point, Piper let go of the clothing and stooped down to pick up the towel that Alex had dropped behind her back before walking away. Alex was trapped in her own clothes and flustered from being left high and dry by Piper suddenly.

"What the fuck?! Piper! Seriously?" Alex fought to pull her tops off herself before looking around for where Piper was. Finding her in the bedroom, wrapped in her robe with the towel around her hair, doubled over from laughing at her on the edge of her bed, Alex suddenly dropped her frustration at losing and joined Piper in laughing. After a few minutes of breathlessness, Piper wiped her eyes and stood to shake her hair free.

"Ahhhh, that was priceless. I totally suckered you in there!" Piper grinned as she pulled her panties up and got a pair of jeans out of her drawer.

"Yeah, maybe. But don't think you'll get away with that. I can play a long game if I have to Chapman, mark my words." Alex grabbed her around the waist from behind and kissed her neck roughly before blowing a raspberry on it and releasing her as she started giggling again. "I'm getting washed now, so you're lucky I don't have time for revenge before I need to drop you off." She called over her shoulder as she went back to the bathroom to get ready for work.

They were both on the last minute by the time they were dressed and ready to go and Piper decided she could either get there to open up on time or she could get breakfast and nice coffee, so she texted Polly to choose which she wanted to opt for. Thankfully Polly was already at the store, so Piper got the breakfast run and could get something for Alex too, so the drive was going to be less frantic. As Alex started the car, Piper gave her directions towards a nice coffee shop that Piper used regularly when she took the subway.

"Have you phoned John Peters yet to book an appointment to talk about your brand plans?" Alex asked as she slowed for a stop light.

"No, but I think I'll do it today. I want to have something in place now to make sure we can continue to grow and make the most of the new customers who found us with the marketing we did at Christmas."

"Good. I'm sure he'll be able to give you some useful advice that you can use to start thinking about what direction you want to focus on first. He's a top guy in New York for that kind of stuff."

"Well, I'll let you know how it goes anyway. Left just up ahead here…Was that a work call you were taking on skype this morning when I got up?"

"Yeah, just trying to get these new contracts sorted out. We're really close now and they agreed to pretty much everything I wanted to change, so hopefully I won't need to do too many of those early morning calls."

"Pull up anywhere you can on the right. It's just by that blue neon sign where we're heading. Are you coming in or do you want me to get you something to take out?" Piper was already unfastening her seatbelt as though Alex expected her to roll out of the moving vehicle in the name of a latte and pain au raisin. Alex chuckled as she pulled the car in to a stop.

"You choose me something. Here." Alex waved $20 in front of her and Piper scowled as though it were a decaying fish.

"I got this."

Alex was waiting outside for her to open the car door as she came back outside with bags and cups of sugary goodness.

"I got you a couple of pastries. Hope that's OK." She settled back into the passenger seat and managed to fasten her seatbelt as Alex took off into the traffic again.

"Good with me. Thanks." Alex kept her eyes on the traffic for a few moments before speaking again.

"So, should I wait for you to ask me out on another date or am I allowed to cut in and ask you now?" Alex tried to contain her smile as she side-eyed Piper to check her reaction.

"I think it's an open invitation at this point isn't it?" Piper laughed.

"If by 'open', you mean you are not accepting invitations from anyone else on or off this planet other than me…Do you?" Alex grinned.

"Well, that could be a lot of invitations to be turning away there you know…."

"It could….are you concerned about what kind of paper you'll use for all the RSVP's when you turn them all down? No Chapman woman in history would decline an invitation improperly by using cheap paper after all. I mean, would it be scented paper? Would you hand write them all to keep up the personal nature of your reply? Would you-"

"Alex! Alright. I'll go out with you on another date."

"Presumptuous… I never asked you on one. You can hope for it in your Dear Diary entry tonight though." Alex winked as she pulled up outside of PoPi. "Your stop princess." She nodded at the door and grinned at the narrowed eyes Piper was shooting her before she broke into a smile.

"OK, fine. Are we even now?"

"Just getting' started beeeech" Alex drawled in a hillbilly accent before she broke into a laugh and handed Piper her breakfast and coffee as she got out of the car.

"Hmmm, I'll call you later OK?" Piper smiled before closing the door and heading into the store.

Alex drove to NY Logistics and arrived just before 10 by the time she got through the traffic. Fortunately, nobody was expecting her to be in as Lorna was still opening up. She headed in to see if Poussey was around in the stock area first to check her ceiling was still up this morning.

Seeing her moving pallets of boxes behind the 'keep clear' signs Alex painted made the brunette far happier than something like that really should have.

"Hey Poussey, did Nicky give you your keys back?"

"Morning boss. Yeah, I got them off her this morning thanks."

"This morning?" Alex raised a knowing eyebrow.

"Er, yeah. I crashed at a friend's place last night so I haven't been back yet." Poussey was scratching the back of her head and avoiding the questioning look from a pair of green eyes directly in front of her.

"Crashed you say…..Well I hope you left your number with this poor 'crash' victim, you know – in case of an emergency…."

"Uh….yeah. We swapped numbers." Poussey was squirming far too much for Alex to enjoy it now. She was notoriously shy and Alex would never push her teasing too far with the young girl. They were friends who enjoyed banter, but Poussey was such a sweet girl that Alex would never embarrass her like she would Nicky.

"Well I'm glad you had a good night. Let me know if you have any problems with the partition wall that was taken down. Are you Ok to borrow the van and move the rubble to the city dump? I can give you a hand at the weekend and we'll have it done in no time."

"Thanks Alex, I really appreciate it. There was no way I could have afforded to get someone in to take that wall down, so you finding someone at short notice was a massive help."

"Well, maybe hold your thanks until you see the job hey? Then tell me if you're still happy. Free labour doesn't always mean quality labour." Alex smiled and slapped Poussey on the back before heading upstairs to see Nicky and Lorna.

Pushing the office door open, she was immediately observed by four surprised eyes.

"Ah, the wanderer returns!" The eyes with wiry hair all around them spoke first.

"Hey Alex, good to have you back." Lorna smiled.

"Good morning my dear workforce. Anyone would think I've been away like Uncle Travelling Mac the way you're talking." Alex switched her office light on and dropped her bag containing her laptop onto the desk.

"Only Travelling Alex doesn't even get beyond the city limits when she 'travels' does she?" Nicky retorted.

"Well, I think it does you good to take a break once in a while Alex. You work so hard when you're here and those late night and early morning calls to Europe are wearing you out." Lorna offered, way more sympathetically.

"See Nicky? Model employee behaviour there. Let's have more of that please?" Alex pulled her laptop out to boot up.

"It's not the Europe calls wearing her out. It's the booty calls if you ask me." Nicky muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear.

XXXXX

Piper brought up the number for John Peters just after lunch and read through his website information again, just to remind herself of what he was about. She discussed it again with Polly, who agreed it was a good idea to get the ball rolling and her friend sat next to her while she dialled, so they could both answer any questions.

After a couple of nervous rings, a well-spoken woman answered the phone.

"Good Afernoon, John Peters International. How may I help you today?"

"Hi. My name is Piper Chapman, I co-own a store called PoPi with my friend Polly Harper here in New York and we were wondering if we could get some advice from Mr Peters?"

"Hello Ms Chapman. What did you say the store was called please?"

"PoPi….P….o….P….i…It's based in Brooklyn. We opened last year."

"Ah, OK. I'm sorry Ms Chapman, but Mr Peters doesn't take on new businesses I'm afraid."

"Oh. I thought he could help us with some advice….Maybe he has a colleague who might be able to help us? Someone a bit more junior perhaps?" Piper offered hopefully. They would take any advice they could get right now and maybe asking the big boss had been a bit too ambitious.

"No, I'm afraid we aren't taking on any new clients at the moment who are not already well established in the marketplace."

"Oh, OK. Could you maybe recommend another company who might be willing to talk to us? We just want a bit of advice to start with."

"I'm afraid you'd really be better off looking through the local advertisements to see if there's a company who could help you. We're really focused on established brands, as are our known associates. I'm really sorry I can't offer you more advice Ms Chapman, but good luck in your search."

"Thank you. Goodbye." Piper hung up and looked at her best friend, who heard the call.

"Why the fuck would Alex suggest calling this guy if he only deals with established brands and big companies?" Polly asked, as though Piper might actually know the answer.

"I have no idea. It made me look foolish though. I bet that woman is sharing the joke with everyone else on the reception desk that probably has more people working at it than we do to run this whole store." Piper rolled her eyes and closed the offending webpage.

"I guess we're back to square one again then." Polly got up to wander to the front of the store, thinking about what else they could try. It had been really quiet in the store again today and it wasn't really necessary for both of them to be there when it was like this, but each of them felt guilty for drawing a pay check if they didn't work for it each day.

Piper was annoyed that Alex had encouraged her to do this and she had fallen flat on her face, so she flicked through her recent calls list and dialled her number for an explanation. It rang several times and Alex picked up just before the answer phone kicked in.

"Hey. I almost missed you calling to ask me out on that date there."

"Mmm, don't count your chickens. I'm not calling about that."

Alex sensed Piper's down to business tone and cut the banter. "OK, what's up then?"

"What's up is I just called that guy, John Peters International, to ask about getting an appointment and his receptionist practically laughed me out of town!"

"Did you speak to John?"

"God no. I wasn't getting anywhere near the expensive enigma that clearly is Mr JP International. I was told we were too small fry for them to even talk to. They wouldn't even offer me the fucking janitor's advice in there Alex, it was so embarrassing!"

"Did you tell the Receptionist that I had recommended John to you?"

"No. She just heard the words 'new business' and we were shut down."

"OK, let me see if I can c-"

"There's no point. I have to find myself some college graduate with zero industry experience to see if they can look in a textbook to help us. That's the level we're on apparently. Seriously though, what is the fucking point of being a branding company if you're only taking on clients who already built their fucking brand?!" Piper's voice was getting higher and the breaths between rants getting fewer.

"I'll call you back in a bit." Alex hung up.

Polly had overheard some of the conversation and came over to ask what Alex said.

"Not much. She hung up on me. Even my own girlfriend doesn't want to make an appointment with a start-up apparently." Piper picked at the roll of tape on the counter.

"Your GIRLFRIEND?! When did that happen?!"

Piper's head shot up like a meerkat at an alarm call.

"What? Oh, we're dating. Please don't make a big deal out of this."

"What part of this ISN'T a big deal Piper? You're dating your ex, who was a drug dealer and threw you in prison. Your last relationship with her was built pretty much entirely on sex and lies. How do you know this won't be exactly the same ?"

"Ugh…." Piper put her head in her hands on the counter. "I don't, but I don't know that it won't either. We're older and wiser now. We're both running legitimate businesses and we're dating – so that means we're girlfriends technically."

"Did Alex agree to that title? I seem to remember she wasn't so hot on the rules of relationships last time you started seeing her. Are you sure she knows the rules this time? Have you talked about the rules yet Piper? Because I think that's kinda important for you guys to do that pretty fucking early on."

"Stop! Please stop. She's been fucking amazing to me this past few weeks. Yes, we've had some serious fucking shitstorms to deal with in that time, but she's dropped everything to help me, look after me, support me and care for me – even when I didn't know I needed it and I pushed her away. I've been a total fucking bitch to her at times and she's sucked it up and not pushed it in my face when she's come back."

"That's good Piper. It really is and I've seen her do that stuff. When you were in hospital, when we came to get you from your parents' house, when you were out cold at New Year. Jeez, I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been there. But you know she's equally capable of manipulating you Piper….You've been there already. I'm just saying, keep your eyes open."

"I know you're looking out for me Pol and I promise you I'll proceed with caution OK? I just want to spend time with her and see how this goes. She's good for me right now, mostly."

Piper jumped as her phone started to ring on the counter in front of them.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Is this Ms Piper Chapman?"

"It is, yeah." Piper responded in her 'get on with it' voice, expecting a cold sales call to offer home insurance for a special price.

"Hello Piper, my name is John Peters. I understand you tried to call me earlier today and I'm terribly sorry for the confusion, but I'd love to meet with you and your co-owner of PoPi to talk about your plans. Would this week be convenient for you both?"


	52. Chapter 52

**A/N: I'm glad you like reading the banter because I like writing it, so here's a little shake out from all the angst we've had. You know Piper has to open those envelopes and Alex is going to get stressed with the new contracts at some point, so let's enjoy the good times!**

 **I'm really feeling the love this week on the last couple of chapters, so thanks for all your reviews and PMs! Looking forward to hearing what parts you liked most in this one. JessTerr reminded me about Kissingville and Whatthefuckisgoingonville earlier, which made me smile. izzielg - I'm not as organised as FaeCym, so I have no number in mind for chapters. It just feels like there's a way to go yet with our ladies.**

"Hi! Yes….yes, we could make an appointment this week." Piper stared at Polly, looking for some direction on their availability. Polly stared back with an equally panicked expression, running her hands over her forehead as she sought some inspiration.

"Great, what day is going to work for you guys? I've got some space on Wednesday morning if you want to start early or….lunchtime if that's better for you?"

"Um…yes. That's great. Thanks." Piper nodded and gesticulated at Polly to confirm whether that was actually going to be OK to close the store. Polly shrugged and stared back at Piper. There was a whole frantic silent movie happening behind the counter that John Peters wasn't privy to as he sat at the end of the line, waiting for a decision between the two options he had offered. None seemed to be forthcoming and he chuckled before prompting Piper for a decision.

"Good, so Wednesday suits. What time do you want to go for? Early morning or lunch time? I'm guessing you don't want to close PoPi for any longer than you have to, so you pick."

"Can we do lunchtime on Wednesday please? We could be there for say 12:30 if that's OK with you?" Piper held her palms out and glared at Polly for not helping.

"Sure, I'll book you in. If you've got any websites, online marketing or promotional stuff already, it would be great to see what you guys have done so far. Maybe bring some example of your product line too if that's not too much trouble? Alex has said great things about what you guys have achieved so I can't wait to see it."

"Wow, thank you so much! We look forward to it and we'll bring as much as we can carry."

"See you on Wednesday Piper, I look forward to meeting you guys."

Piper put her phone down and stared at it for a second, as though everything was about to go wavy and the dream would turn into the reality of a meeting with someone on work placement.

"Oh my God Piper! This is awesome! I can't believe we're meeting one of the biggest names in brand development in the country! Little us, with our home made soap."

"I know! This could be huge for us Pol!" Polly wrapped her arms around Piper in a bear hug and they jumped up and down like teenagers who got roomed together on the school trip. After a few minutes of excitement, Piper released her grip and stood back.

"OK, we should make a list of what we need to prepare. We don't want to look like amateurs now we got through the door…" Piper opened her notepad and clicked her pen before Polly grabbed them off her.

"Screw that, we should go out tonight and celebrate."

"Celebrate what? We haven't achieved anything yet." Piper crossed her brows, perplexed.

"Sure we have. We got an appointment!" Polly grinned back.

"No. ALEX got us an appointment. We didn't make it past the introductory phone call remember?"

"Yeah, how DID SuperCunt get that appointment anyway? Does she know this guy?"

"I wouldn't think so. She doesn't hang out in those kinds of circles normally. It's a bit pretentious and fake for her I'd think. Do you think she paid him to see us?" Piper looked shocked at the prospect of that being true.

"Nah. She's probably promised him a threesome. It'll explain why he's so keen to get a date booked."

"Polly! That's gross!" Piper wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Oh please. You'll be having your cake and eating-. Nevermind. Let's not talk semantics before I see how far we have to go to seal the deal. Just to be clear though, I will NOT call you 'Mommy'."

Piper's face creased into giggles as she let out a snort at Polly's last comment.

"I bet you would if he promised you a slot in Barneys." Piper winked as Polly pretended to consider it for a moment.

"Everyone has a price Piper. Don't judge me. And don't ever tell Pete I wore a nappy." She shook a stern looking finger at Piper before they both broke into a fit of giggles.

XXXXX

Alex had a meeting with Nicky and Lorna to explain the recent progress with the various European companies they were negotiating with. They had been involved in helping to scan and send various paperwork through for her, but they weren't aware of just how close any of these were to being signed and what kind of a difference that would make to their business. Alex didn't want to raise hopes before anything was signed and sealed, but she also couldn't carry on keeping the details under wraps if she was going to properly prepare to take on this extra work. They needed bigger premises, more transport and additional staff to cope with the volume of work they would be dealing with. Not everything would need to travel from their depot, but the organisation needed to start there and the little office for the three of them wouldn't squeeze in the extra staff they needed to deal with the customers. She didn't reveal the numbers she was working on as they'd all be lining up for a pay rise before she could take a breath, but the workload was important to talk about.

"Fucking Hell Vause, this is some serious deal you're pulling off here. I mean, Christ, this is way bigger than anything we've dealt with before…" Alex's reflex was to brag about a big drug deal she pulled off in Chile once with a guy she got stoned from the Russian Mafia, but she caught herself in time and nodded her agreement to the two grinning women sitting in front of her.

"So, the main one to worry about right now is this Italian company with the hair products. The show's not far away and they are starting to look at containers already. If this thing gets signed by the end of the week like we plan, it's going to mean some long hours and everyone chipping in to make sure this one goes smoothly. There is a lot riding on this to go well and the other Contractors will be looking at how we deal with this as new players over there. I need you two to give me a hand to keep things moving and get the extra staff we need to fulfil the contract."

"Does that mean I get a new job title then?"

"What, are you asking for a promotion?"

"Yeah."

"OK… And what sort of promotion would you be looking for?"

"Well, you're gonna need someone to manage all of the staff who are answering the customer calls…and since that's my area of expertise….I'm your girl. I'll have to think about the job title though. That's a big decision if it's going on all my business cards."

"I could always promote you from Junior Asshole to just Asshole, since you've proven how great you are at it."

"Hey, what can I say? I've had a great leader while I've been working here Vause." Nicky punched her on the shoulder.

"Well, I think it's a cause for celebration Alex. It sounds like we're not going to have a chance to cut loose if this order comes in by the weekend, so why don't we go out tonight and have some fun? It's been a while since I went out with you all too." Lorna smiled hopefully. She'd missed the New Year drinks night with them all and hadn't been out for a while.

"Normally I would, but-" Alex started, before Nicky cut in.

"You want to go and see Blondie." Nicky was already resigned to the answer being a no from her tall friend.

"No, it's not that. I was going to do some more of this paperwork. Now I can see the changes are being agreed in the Italian contract, there's no reason I couldn't put them into the others now."

"Which you can just as easily do tomorrow. You know, in actual working hours, like a normal person." Nicky leaned against the wall with her and on her hip.

"I could, but there's always other shit to deal with when I'm in the office and I never get this stuff done where I need to concentrate."

"Come on man! When this contract gets signed, and yes I did say when, you'll be pulling all kinds of hours to get things sorted. I know you Vause and you'll work yourself into the ground to make it work out. Why don't you come out and have some fun while you can? Please?" Nicky pressed her hands together, a prayer-like pose with puppy dog eyes to match.

"Are you buying Nicholls?"

"Only if you're a dead cert."

"I just need to make a call first…" Alex turned to head into her office as she pulled her phone out of her back pocket.

"You can invite Blondie too if that seals the deal." Nicky grinned as Alex moved to protest.

"Yeah, see if Piper wants to come. I haven't seen her for ages!" Lorna sensed victory and pressed home with the supporting argument.

XXXXX

Piper was locking the back door to close up when her phone started buzzing in her bag. Polly was talking incessantly about why they should open their next store somewhere on the west coast so neither of them heard it ringing amongst the stack of papers Piper had shoved in her bag as homework.

"Pol, I'd love to open a store some place new but we have no idea if we'd be heading in that direction yet. It might be better to focus on online sales, in which case we'd be looking at a warehouse or something instead I guess."

"We have to have a store presence though! Somewhere hip where all the cool people hang out."

"Did you just say 'hip'?" Piper raised her eyebrows.

"I think I did. OK, THAT is how much I need a drink."

"What time did Pete say he was picking us up?"

"He should be here any minute, I'll text him and see if he's set off yet." Polly was part way through a message when a car horn honked and a black truck pulled up next to them. Pete put the window down.

"Hey ladies, can I offer you a ride?"

"Mmmm, that depends on what you had in mind." Polly leaned in and gave him a slow kiss on the lips through the window. Piper stood behind, waiting for an opportunity to even see Pete's face at this point. After the kiss and the whispered innuendo continued for over a minute, Piper cleared her throat.

"Hi Pete. Kinda cold out today isn't it?"

"Piper! Hey, how are ya?" He grinned over Polly's shoulder.

"Freezing actually. Any chance I could get in the back?" Piper smiled before moving next to Polly to open the door "Before you're both in there half naked that is." She muttered and raised her eyebrow at Polly's eyeroll on her way in.

Polly walked around to the passenger door and jumped in, turning the radio up as Pete steered them onto the road and towards Piper's place.

XXXXX

There was no answer from Piper, but Alex was feeling like letting her hair down now that she could see the excitement from Lorna and Nicky. It had been a while since they'd all gone out for a drink and they did have a very good reason to celebrate.

"OK, looks like we're on. What's the plan then Nick, are we heading straight out or did you want to do something with the explosion in a mattress factory you've got on your head?" Alex flicked the lights off as they got their coats and Lorna headed downstairs to let the rest of the gang know it was a bar night.

"We're going now, so you don't puss out when you get home. Is Piper coming?"

"No. She didn't pick up."

"Are you guys cool now? You know, after the emergency DIY job yesterday."

"Yeah, sort of. That attack has left her with a lot going on in her head and I don't always know how to deal with that when she blows hot or turns into the ice maiden. I needed to vent instead of reacting with her. I went round there last night and she was fine." Alex shrugged before adding an afterthought. "You're not gonna…be weird with her are you?"

"Erm, just so I'm clear…Are you asking me to be normal?" Nicky grinned.

"Good point. Don't do that. That WOULD be weird." Alex pushed her friend towards the door to meet the others downstairs.

They got cabs so everyone could have a drink and Alex headed to the bar with Nicky to open a tab while the rest of the group found a table and loaded the jukebox up.

"You did say you were getting the first round in didn't you Nicky?"

"Don't remember that conversation. I thought this was a team building exercise." Nicky carried on looking down the bar as they waited for a bar tender.

"I'm sure your annual performance review said you didn't play well with others."

"I could play well with them!" Nicky grinned and nodded her head towards a couple of athletic College types who just walked in the door.

"Seriously? The only team you're interested in building is one that plays softball…." Alex grabbed the attention of the bar tender and got them a round of tequila shots and beers, nodding to Nicky to cover it as she carried them to the booth.

They toasted the new contracts they were waiting on and the overtime that was coming up for everyone who was broke after the Christmas and New Year celebrations and Poussey was telling everyone how impressed she was with her new open plan kitchen space and her plans to put a wall mounted TV up so she could watch it from any angle in the room now. Alex smiled to herself that Poussey was so pleased with what she'd done and it made her realise that she could put all of that guilt and anger she was feeling into something positive when she set her mind to it. She knew she was about to get very stressed out when the contracts were signed as they needed to rapidly increase their capacity to deliver on the promises she had made, so there was going to be plenty of opportunity for flared tempers and snappy retorts with Piper and she knew how grumpy her girlfriend could get when she wasn't getting her own way. Downing her beer, she waved the empty bottle in the air – the universal sign for 'another round?' After getting the universal nod of approval in return, Alex went to the bar and put the tab in her name for another round of the same.

She took the drinks back to their table and this time, they had two shots each before passing out the beers. Taystee pulled Lorna and Dannii on to the small dancefloor while Poussey was gathering the cues for a game of pool. The table had been free all night and Poussey had been itching to get on there and see if she could win back what she lost to Alex at their last poker night at her place.

"OK, normally we'd be playing doubles here but I've got a bit of decorating to pay for and I'll be needing that cash back now from the poker game boss. I hope you didn't go all crazy spending it on manicures and lipstick because it's coming back to Momma tonight." She slapped her hand on Alex's back.

"What if I did? Would you take payment in manicures and lipstick Poussey?" Alex pouted her lips to blow Poussey a kiss.

"Hell no! You can get your ass down to a cash machine and get me some dollar bills. I'll wait." She racked the balls up and chalked her cue dramatically as she prepared, rolling her shoulders as she eyed Alex.

Nicky got a dollar out of her pocket to call who went first. "Who's calling it?"

"I'm speechless that I've actually witnessed you with money in your pocket, so you'd better go Poussey."

"Hey, I ALWAYS have money, I'm just careful with it." Nicky called heads and Poussey settled down to break.

"Careful to never fucking spend it."

"I spend it…. just not on lipstick and manicures like you."

"I don't fucking get manicures! Where has this shit started?" Alex retorted as she bent down to break.

"Sure you do. You've always got your nails all nice and your hair all curled, walking around the place like a damned shampoo commercial you are."

Alex hit the ball with more force than necessary and scattered the balls around the table before standing again and leaning on her cue to regard Nicky. "I think you'll find that's simply the difference between washing your hair and sticking your finger in an electric socket and expecting the same result. You ought to try it."

Poussey was supposed to be looking for her shot, but was creased up laughing silently behind Alex at the way Nicky was managing to get a rise out of her.

"Well, maybe if I were having girly sleepovers with Blondie every night, I could get my hair braided too." Nicky's expression was totally deadpan and she could see Poussey shaking her head as she took a shot, listening to the pair of them.

"Your hair doesn't want braiding, it needs a freaking lawn mower over the top of it. And I'm not there EVERY night." Alex turned to regard the table again, seeing that Poussey had sunk a stripe while she hadn't been paying attention, she sensed they were tag-teaming her and gritted her teeth as she looked for an opportunity to get even. She was leaning over the table, measuring up the different shots that were open and trying to focus. Nicky moved to stand behind her.

"Well if I were at those sleepovers, Piper would struggle to do anything but hold onto my hair from where my head would be. Yes! Oh Nicky….that feels soooooo good. Yes! Fuck Nicky, nobody ever licked my pussy like that…." She finished with a dramatic interpretation of what that scene would be like and could see Alex tense up over the table.

Alex pulled the cue back and was releasing another powerful blow to the cue ball when she felt a hand stroke up the inside of her thigh between her parted legs and cup her sex with a quick squeeze. The brunette jumped a foot in the air and skewed the cue all along the green, hitting everything except the white. She whirled around with a face like thunder.

"Nicky! You fucking-"

"Hey Babe. Did I distract you?"


	53. Chapter 53

**A/N: Hey! Slightly longer update for you as it's been a few days since the last posting. Glad to see so many of you liking the long story, so I'll keep on. Likening this to a well-worn paperback makes me feel warm inside, so thanks JessTerr :-) I loved the mix of guesses on who the hand belonged to between Alex's legs last chapter - haha! As always, thanks for the ongoing support from MadeintheUS, Librarybook, WB79, izzielg, RJVause and FaeCym (swoon ;-) ), prooffice, Tiffr3n33, StephanieKryx and also Sandfromoz.**

 **So far, it's been a day by day story of Vauseman. I'm planning to change that soon to allow easier storyline progression for the VSU meets and court case (which are the two big threads we're following). It's unrealistic to expect Piper to process and heal from emotions associated with these events from a single weekly meet and I don't want to write filler material that doesn't progress the story and characters on days where all she's doing is going to work - we already know how boring those days are from our own lives!**

 **Anyhow, I have words for you to consume...**

Nicky was doubled over and holding onto the wall for support with laughter at Alex's reaction. She couldn't have hoped for anything better than the brunette spectacularly missing her shot and jumping so dramatically.

"Oh….my God…can't breathe…..Ohhhh…..man….funniest thing ever."

Alex maintained a death stare for a moment, before raising both of her eyebrows and putting her weight onto one hip as she watched Nicky struggling to breathe. Poussey was on the opposite side of the table in a similar state, but dared not mock Alex too much, she was still the boss at the end of the day.

"God I wish I had that on video…Your face Stretch….what a picture…..Fucking awesome timing Chapman!"

Piper was really trying hard to suppress her laughter by pressing her lips into a determined thin line, making them disappear completely. Standing a short distance away from Alex, she looked at her with Bambi eyes as she reached out to put her hands on her girlfriend's waist and stepped closer.

"Erm….Hi?" She ventured and chewed the side of her cheek to try and maintain some composure.

"Hi." Alex looked at her with an 'I can't believe you sided with them' narrowing of her eyes before pulling the blonde into her and putting her arms around her neck loosely, kissing the top of her head.

"You two are gonna pay for that." She raised a single eyebrow at Nicky and Poussey, who was now standing next to her. "Or should I say three?" Alex leaned back to look at Piper questioningly.

"I'm pleading innocence." She smiled and leaned up to kiss her on the lips as Alex dodged her at the last second and whispered in her ear. "I bet I could make you plead." She whispered into Piper's ear as she pulled away with her signature smirk.

"I owe you a drink for that Piper. What are you having?" Nicky was upright again now and waving an empty beer bottle.

"Nothing. I'm OK thanks. I'll get some water in a bit."

"It's OK, I can get you that." Nicky started to walk to the bar before Piper let go of Alex to go after her.

"Alright, I'll come with you then."

"Are you driving or something?"

"What? Oh, because I'm drinking water, yeah. Polly and I have got a meeting tomorrow with a marketing guy that Alex set up for us. It's a pretty big deal for PoPi, so I want to be fresh for that."

"Sounds it. Alex was telling us about the new contracts we might get in the next week or so for our place too. It looks like there could be a lot of overtime on the cards, which is good news for me. Not like I have anything else to do these days anyway." Nicky's shrug was meant to be indifferent, but Piper could see there was a hint of loneliness in there.

"I've stolen your drinking buddy haven't I?"

"Nah, plenty of other fish in the sea as they say."

"There might be fish in the sea, but they won't match you drink for drink like that one can I bet."

"Drinking I can do with any one of these fine ladies. It's not the drinking I miss."

Nicky ordered their drinks and Piper helped her back with the trays. Lorna, Dannii and Taystee were all back from the dance floor now and they were settled in a booth while Alex and Poussey got serious with the remainder of their pool match.

"I'll take these over to Alex, see if I'm forgiven yet." She winked at Nicky as she took two shots and beers over to the pool table, where Poussey was leaning over for a shot and Alex was trying to distract her by psyching her out and telling her she made the wrong choice.

"Hey, I'm gonna sit with Taystee and everyone at the table while you finish your game. I brought you these as a peace offering. Am I allowed back in your good books if I drive you home too?" Piper batted her eyelashes.

"What do you think?" Alex pulled the beer and Piper towards her so she could lean in for a very quick, but searing kiss.

"Mmmm, I think I'm forgiven." Piper grinned and Alex gave her a quick slap on the ass as she walked back to the table.

Piper sat next to Taystee, who was telling them all about this new boyfriend she's been seeing since before Christmas and showing everyone pictures of his half naked body that probably weren't meant to be shared when he agreed to her taking them. Lorna was thanking her for the Christmas box and asking about the new ranges they had designed for Spring when Piper became aware of a girl she faintly recognised from somewhere sitting in the corner. She was in her early 20's with short red hair and she had barely said a word since Piper sat down. To the point where Piper started to get paranoid that the woman was side-eying her with death stares when Piper's attention was fixed in the opposing direction. Every time Piper tried to catch her attention with her eyes to make an introduction of bring her into the conversation, she would appear riveted by something Nicky was saying next to her or look over Piper as though she was waiting for someone. She shrugged it off when Alex and Poussey came back. They shuffled up and Alex pressed her legs up to Pipers as she settled into her seat, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. "Having fun?" She asked as she linked their fingers under the table.

"Yeah. Wait, am I getting a Champion's kiss here?"

"Afraid not. Your wounded soldier couldn't come back from the damage caused by that misfired friendly fire earlier."

"Aw, poor you. How about I kiss it better later?"

"Ahem. Didn't your Mothers teach you two any table manners?!" Taystee pointed between them. "No googly eyes at the table please! People are trying to enjoy a drink here." As Piper laughed, she caught the red head in the corner rolling her eyes. Sure of what she saw now, Piper was racking her brains for where she'd seen her before. She must work at NY Logistics if she's out with everyone after work….The woman who came into the store asking to speak to the Manager. Yes! She had attitude then too, what the Hell was her problem?

"Fair point." Piper held her hands up in mock surrender. "You're gonna have to close your eyes for this then babe." Piper pulled Alex by her lapels and kissed her full on the mouth while she looked the red head square in the eye. Yes, that was it. It was an Alex thing. She saw the woman clench her jaw and avert her eyes, as Piper felt Alex move her hand to run through Piper's hair while the rest of the table either cat-called or made puking noises. Satisfied she nailed it, Piper closed her eyes to melt into their kiss briefly before breaking it softly but staying a breath away from those luscious ruby lips she couldn't get enough of.

"Is that where it hurts babe?"

"So painful….more medicine please."

"Enough! Enough, OK. We get it. You've made your excuses to leave early more times than any of us needs to see. Please take your teenage hormones out of this bar. Jesus I haven't had enough beer tonight." Nicky waved her hands dismissively before waving her empty bottle around the table. "Are you going to get us another round before you go play spin the bottle in the park Vause?"

Alex rolled her eyes and took Piper by the hand to join her at the bar, gripping her waist firmly to pull her against her taller frame when they got there. She leaned down and gave Piper a kiss on the nose before standing straight again and stroking her thumb along her jawline.

"It's a nice surprise that you came tonight. How did you know where to find us?"

"Nicky."

"Should have guessed. I tried to call you to ask you know."

"I saw a missed call and figured that's what it was but I didn't see it til Nicky messaged me."

Alex ordered the drink and they took them to the table by way of a farewell.

"Goodnight team. I've sorted the tab, but feel free to stay on - just don't forget to bring your hungover assess into work in the morning."

They said their goodbyes and Piper led Alex through the bar and into the cold night air to her waiting car.

"So….I can drop you home, but I need to come back to my place because I've got some stuff I need to sort out tonight. Or….you can stay at mine. Up to you." Piper said as she checked her mirrors and pulled out into the street.

"Your place is fine with me." Alex yawned and they drove in silence for a few blocks until Piper broke the reverie.

"OK." Piper waited for a few beats before her curiosity got the better of her. "Who was the red head who was out with you tonight?"

"Redhead?...You mean Dannii?"

"I don't know. Early twenties, red hair, flawless skin, looks at you like a puppy waiting to be petted…."

"Yes, that's Dannii. Except that last bit, which is your imagination." Alex was watching Piper and smirking as she spoke.

"And that expression you think I can't see in the dark proves that it isn't. What's her deal?"

"Her deal? She works in the warehouse with Taystee and Poussey, been with us about 6 months or so."

"And?"

"And she deals with the inventory, sorting out the labelling and checking the delivery vans have the rights stuff on them before they go out."

"I'm listening."

"I see that. I don't exactly have her HR record on hand right now to talk about her career development plan though. Why the sudden interest?"

"I'm not interested in what you're paying her to do. I'm interested in why she's so fucking interested in you." Piper kept her eyes firmly on the road as she turned the corner to her street.

"Seriously?" Alex chuckled.

Piper didn't answer, but drove on to pull up in front of her apartment, cutting the engine and turning to Alex.

"Seriously. Why is she looking at you like that?"

Alex scoffed and rolled her eyes as she opened the door to get out, Piper following close behind and locking the car as they walked to the front door.

"She's not looking at me like anything Piper. I'm her boss and she's just a kid."

"Both of those things are true and neither of them explain the evil eyes I've been getting all night off her." Piper pushed the door open for them to get inside into the warm.

"Ah, so that's what this is about…." The brunette smiled. "She's probably feeling a bit protective over you joining the team on a night out. We don't usually have anyone there who isn't working with us, so she's maybe just wary of an outsider is all." Alex shrugged and took her coat and boots off. "What's with the paper mosaic on the floor?"

"That is NOT what I saw in the bar tonight and those are the papers I need to take to my meeting with John Peters tomorrow."

"Oh, great! You got sorted with a meeting then?" Alex went to pour a glass of water while Piper hung her coat up and took her shoes off.

"Yes, he's seeing us tomorrow lunch time. I'm kinda nervous about it actually."

"You've got nothing to be nervous about. He's there to help you, remember? You're the customer here and he's there to help you guys. He's the one who should be nervous, believe me if that Chapman and Harper tag-team get going!"

Piper smiled and knelt to collect the papers up that she wanted to take with her to the meeting. Alex gulped some water down before heading to the bathroom. Having collected everything together that she wanted to take to the meeting, Piper locked the door and turned the lights out before heading to the bathroom herself.

"Are you using my toothbrush again?"

"Until you get me my own for sleepovers, yes. Besides, there's nothing in your mouth I haven't already had in my own." Alex raised an eyebrow and smirked as she finished brushing her teeth.

"Well, I don't know where your mouth's been do I?"

"Are you saying you want your bacteria back? You'll have to come get them." Alex smirked before heading past her and into the bedroom.

Piper got washed and came into the bedroom to change, where Alex was already sitting up under the covers and drinking some water. Her eyes followed the blonde as she removed her shirt and threw it into the laundry basket, before unfastening her bra and slipping it from her shoulders and doing the same. Reaching for a camisole top from the drawer, she caught Alex's eyes on her and froze for a second before quickly pulling the black top over her head and straightening it over her torso. She hadn't really changed in front of her fully since they got back together and doing it while Alex was watching now made her feel suddenly exposed.

"Aw, I was enjoying that channel. Don't switch it over."

"We have to be up early in the morning. I need my head in the game for this meeting and I don't want your libido tiring me out." Piper grabbed some shorts and headed into the bathroom to take her jeans and panties off so she could wear them. Returning a few moments later, Alex was lying down now, watching silently as Piper got under the covers. The fact that Piper had gone to change in the bathroom instead of in front of her had surprised Alex, reminding her of what happened on Sunday night when Piper told her what happened to her in prison.

"Are you Ok if I turn the light out?"

"Yeah, fine with me." Alex replied. Switching the lamp off, Piper moved over to put her arm over Alex's waist as the other woman lay on her back in the darkness.

"Did you have a good night tonight?" The blonde asked after a few moments of quiet.

"Yeah, it's been good."

Piper sensed a shift in Alex's mood and couldn't help but feel responsible somehow. She shuffled closer to her warmth and lifted her head, signalling for Alex to put her arm underneath and support her neck as she rested on her shoulder now. Alex did just that and squeezed her close, kissing her head as they settled back down. Well, at least she wasn't mad Piper thought. A few more minutes passed and Piper was beginning to feel sleepy when Alex spoke again.

"Have you opened those letters from the NYPD?" Her voice was clear, but quiet when she spoke to Piper.

"I haven't seen any letters. Must have arrived in the mail today."

"How did they get on the book shelf if you haven't seen them?" Alex was trying to remain calm, but she hated the fact that Piper was lying to her.

"How would you know they were on the book shelf in the first place?" Now Piper's tone was rising and she forced herself to remain lying on Alex to avoid the eye contact.

"Because I knocked them off by accident when I plugged my laptop in the other morning. So I know they didn't arrive today. Why haven't you opened them?" She was speaking as though she was in one of the contract talks with a formal business proposal now.

"Out of everything on that book shelf, THAT is what you accidentally knocked off? Likely story." Piper moved away from Alex now and lay on her back, recoiling from any contact.

"Yes, that's exactly what happened. You didn't answer me Piper. Why haven't you opened them?"

"How about 'none of your God damned business'?"

"Piper…."

"Don't fucking _Piper_ me. I will open them when I want to open them Alex. It has nothing to do with you when I open my mail." Piper turned away in an attempt to close the discussion.

"You're right, it doesn't." Alex spoke to the ceiling before turning over to face the opposite way from Piper.

They eventually fell asleep, the air thick with tension and unsaid words. Piper woke first in the morning and was careful to get up and turn the shower on without waking Alex. She was awake far earlier than she needed to be, but figured the extra time could be used for extra preparation for her meeting with John Peters. Last night, she had never asked Alex how she had managed to get them this meeting, but she surmised that her girlfriend had used her charms and some sort of payment to buy this for her. It's exactly what she used to do in the cartel and Piper felt sick at the thought of history repeating itself. It was precisely what Polly was warning her about and she thought about that hard while the hot water pounded her back in the shower.

Piper was sat poring over paperwork at the breakfast bar when Alex came in a couple of hours later. Alex was dressed in the same clothes she was wearing last night and hadn't bothered to shower. Piper didn't look up when the brunette came in and pretended to be engrossed in making notes, avoiding eye contact with her and not sure of what to say.

"Morning." Alex said simply as she walked to stand by the table where Piper was sitting.

"Hi. I'd offer you a coffee, but it means boiling some water on the stove." Piper said without looking up.

"It's OK. I need to go anyway. I've got my own paperwork to look at." Piper still hadn't raised her head, so Alex walked over to the door and put her boots on.

"OK, well if you're sure." Piper chanced lifting her head when she knew Alex was concentrating on tying her laces.

"Yeah, I'll get the subway home first to get changed."

"I can give you a lift if you want." Piper offered.

"No. I wouldn't want to interfere with your plans." The words were becoming increasingly barbed between them.

"It's not a problem, I just need to tidy this paperwork up first."

"I'd offer to help, but I wouldn't want to be accused of snooping."

"I can manage. This AND my mail."

"Clearly. Not sure ignoring it counts as _managing_ it though, but whatever. It's none of my business, like you said."

"It's mail. Can you try and keep this in a bit of perspective?!" Piper banged her hand on the table as she stood to face Alex now.

"Exactly what perspective should I have? The same as you where you stick your head in the sand and pretend this court case isn't happening?!" Alex stood with her arms folded now, jacket on and ready to leave.

"It's _my_ name on the front. You shouldn't _have_ _a_ perspective at all!" Piper shouted before walking to the kitchen to put the empty glass she'd been drinking from in the sink. As she turned the tap on, she heard the sound of the front door slamming.

Piper kicked the kitchen unit under the sink before moving back to the table and swiping all of the PoPi paperwork onto the floor. How can something as stupid as unopened mail have caused this? If Alex hadn't been searching through her things, she wouldn't have gotten so defensive about it.

XXXXX

Piper caught the subway to work later that morning and arrived before Polly by a good half an hour. She was in a foul mood and went about getting the store ready for opening with about as much interest and enthusiasm as if she was putting the garbage out. Polly came in just before opening time and brought coffees and pastries as well as an arm full of the sample products they agreed to showcase with John Peters to show their best sellers and new season range as well.

"Morning!" Polly dropped the treats on the counter before taking her coat off and hanging it up.

"Hey Pol."

"I still think we should have gone out to celebrate last night, but I'm glad we're going to this meeting and we're not hungover I suppose. We're definitely celebrating tonight though right?" Polly was on her way to open the front door, not waiting for an answer.

"So, did you ask Alex how she got us the meeting?" Polly was on her way back to the counter now for her coffee and Piper was leaning against the back wall, deep in thought.

"No. We probably don't want to know."

"It doesn't matter anyway, but at least we'd know if he was expecting anything from us in return you know? Like, do we have to have a follow up appointment and pay full price for instance? Oh God, this cinnamon muffin is to die for."

"It doesn't matter what he expects, we're not paying for it."

"You're just going to refuse to pay are you? Fair enough, he can't make us, right?"

"No. It doesn't matter because we're not going."

"Yeah, well like you say, he can't _make_ us have a second appointment. This was just for trying and getting some ideas anyway. We can't even afford his prices."

"We're not going at all. I already called and cancelled." Piper picked her coffee up, avoiding Polly's wide eyes.

"You what?!"

"I cancelled. We're going to do this our way." Piper looked Polly in the eye now, to add some confidence to her conviction.

"Why the fuck would you do that? Why would you do it without talking to me first?!" Polly was not only confused, but pretty annoyed now.

"Because we need to do this on our own. We shouldn't be relying on favours and people paying for us to get appointments. We should do it on our own merit. This is _our_ business Pol, nobody else's. If John Peters won't see us without Alex paying him to do so, we'll find another route who will."

Polly regarded Piper for a minute before speaking again.

"Is that what she did? Paid him to meet us?"

"I don't know. Probably. Either way, we do it ourselves or we don't do it at all." She shrugged and picked up her coffee to head into the back room, leaving Polly dumbfounded by the counter. That lasted only a moment as Polly came into the room behind her mere seconds later.

"So what say do I get in whether we have the meeting or not?" Polly was standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips now.

"I just don't think it's a good idea to use favours to get the advice we need."

"There's that word again. 'I'. Unless you had me sign away my share of this business in my sleep or under hypnosis, I'm a partner in this business. I hate to have to remind you, but I carried it on my own while you were behind bars too, so it's not fucking fair to go and make that kind of decision without my input."

"Pol, I didn't mean to do it without you…"

"Like Hell you didn't! Why couldn't you wait until we both got to work this morning to have the discussion together about whether the meeting should happen? You've got no God damned right to do that on your own."

"OK. Lesson learned." Piper raised her hands in surrender. "I won't make decisions without you again."

"Not good enough. This was massive for us Piper. It could have been a game changer…..Why have you really cancelled it?"

"I already told you."

"Does Alex know?"

Piper rolled her eyes and pushed past Polly to go back into the store.

"Fucks sake Piper! I can't run a business where major decisions are taken because you two have had a fight. Can't you get your head around separating business and pleasure?" Polly was hot on her heels, tearing through the store.

"Will you drop it please? The meeting is cancelled, we move on."

"No! I want you to call him back and say you made a mistake. I'm NOT scratching around to work on a business plan based on free advice on a user forum when we could have had a face to face with a top New York agency expert."

"I'm not going to do that Polly." Piper was defiant now and was not going to move.

"Fine. You can man the store today then and take the thousands of dollars that are pouring over the counter from the mass of customers walking around with arms full of our products." She gestured at the empty shop with her arms. "I need to get out of here." Polly grabbed her coat and left through the back door.

Polly had no idea where she was planning to go, she just needed to get some space away from her stubborn friend. Absentmindedly walking in to the coffee shop near the store, she ordered a coffee before sitting in a quiet corner to drink it. Piper had put her walls up now and there was no way to get past them before the time they were meant to be meeting with John. It just didn't make any sense. Piper was most worried about how they could maintain sales from Christmas by developing new ways to reach customers outside of New York. Polly had been content to let her lead on that – one of them looking at the future, the other looking after business as usual. It was working just fine. Then on a whim, the biggest opportunity they'd been given since getting the funding for the store was thrown on the floor in an apparent tantrum. Unless Piper had found out that Alex had got them this meeting through morally suspicious circumstances maybe? Pulling her phone from her bag, she scrolled her contacts until she found Alex and pressed the call button.

"Morning."

"Hi Alex. Can you talk?"

"It's Alex this morning is it? Must be serious. I can talk. Are you hoping for a last minute pep talk?"

"Not exactly."

"It's going to be tough to find some motivational words for you if you can't be more specific."

Polly sighed, not knowing how to ask this and suddenly feeling like she was going behind Piper's back by calling Alex in the first place. That actually didn't matter anyway right now and she'd deal with that later.

"Did you and Piper have a fight?"

"Why? Has she said something to you?"

"No. I can just tell. Have you?"

"Yes, this morning. Is she OK?" The worry was evident in Alex's voice and it wasn't surprising given some of the urgent calls she'd had in recent weeks related to Piper.

"She's OK. She's just morphed into an angry storm cloud….Was it about the meeting with John Peters today?"

"No. She was going through the papers for it this morning when I left though. What's happened? Has John cancelled on you?"

"The opposite. Piper cancelled on him. She did it first thing before I even got in."

"Why would she do that?"

"That's why I'm calling. She's insisting we don't need his help, but she was all up for it yesterday…..Alex, how did you get us this meeting? Is it anything illegal I should worry about?"

"What?! Of course not! You think I'd do something like that after what I put Piper through with the cartel?! Jesus Polly, give me some credit. John's brother works for me as a driver. He'd had a tough break and was struggling to find a steady job with a criminal record and I gave him a chance when nobody else would. John always said there was a favour to be returned if I ever needed it, so I called it in."

"Oh, so does Piper know that?"

"Well, she hasn't asked. I assume if she wanted to know, she would have asked. Why? Do you think she cancelled because she thinks I made some sort of dodgy deal with him?" Alex laughed at the thought of John getting involved in anything that wasn't by the book.

"I don't know. Maybe. I just don't understand how she can go from excited to cancelling in 12 hours. Could it be something to do with the fight you had this morning?"

"Um, maybe I guess."

"Will you tell me what it was about?"

Alex sighed. She wasn't one for airing dirty laundry and Polly wasn't her biggest fan at the best of times, so she could do without a sermon.

"I found a bunch of unopened letters from the NYPD on a shelf when I knocked them off by accident earlier this week. I was waiting for Piper to mention them, but she didn't. I asked her about them last night and she blew a gasket about me snooping. She's kind of right that it isn't any of my business when she chooses to open her mail, but I can't help but feel she's not opening them because she's avoiding what is inside. Things got a little heated and neither of us was backing down this morning."

"OK, so it's you she is lashing out at. Not John. That's good…Do you think he'd agree to see me on my own today? Like, if you called him to smooth things over a bit?"

"I think that's the worst thing you could do. John's a nice guy. I'm sure he'll arrange another appointment with you, but you'd better do it with Piper on board. If I rearrange something she cancelled in a huff, I'll be the bad guy yet again and you'll be going behind her back. You know how stubborn she can be."

"You're probably right. I just think we really need this and I don't want us to blow it over something silly." Polly resigned herself to losing the slot today and waiting for Piper to be more reasonable. "Are you going to try and talk to her then?"

"To be honest, no I'm not at the moment. I've got a lot on with work right now, so I was going to leave her to cool off a bit. As long as you can keep an eye on her….you know, in case of the drinking. I need to focus on work, which means I need to work late and concentrate my energy on getting this contract right. Can you watch out for her?"

"Yeah, sure. Alex, can you just speak to John and smooth things over with him? I don't know what Piper said, but just say we definitely want his help, but need more time to prepare or something?"

"I can do that. Pep talk over?"

"Yeah, thanks. You can go back to being SuperCunt now."


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: Quick update for the weekend - Friday at last! Have a good one :-)**

Piper got her laptop out on the counter and started to look at places for either free or inexpensive marketing advice that they could access. She hadn't wanted to argue with Polly this morning, especially having already had an argument with Alex only hours before. To be honest, she hadn't really thought about Polly when she cancelled the meeting this morning, so Polly's reaction was a bit of a surprise at the time. Thinking about it now, she knew she would have reacted in exactly the same way and didn't blame her friend for needing to get some space. The fact that she had not though about Polly when cancelling made Piper realise that she'd made the snap decision for personal, rather than business reasons. There wasn't a sound reason to have cancelled from a business perspective and Piper could see now that her argument with Alex was the root of it.

Trying to work out a way to make this right without going back and grovelling to John Peters, Piper sat making notes on the various web sites she was finding when her phone rang. She didn't recognise the number and was expecting a sales call when she answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is that Piper?"

"It is."

"Hi Piper, it's Sarah Phillips from the VSU. Can you talk somewhere in private for a minute?"

Piper looked around at the empty store before answering. "Oh hey, yeah I can talk."

"OK. So, when I saw you and Alex on Monday at our meeting you said you'd be willing to consider some specialist counselling for sexual abuse. You remember?"

"Yeah….."

"So I've got the number for a place we've used many times before. It's here in the city and you can have a female counsellor if you prefer. They only take referrals, so I'll need to make your first appointment if you're still happy to go ahead with it?"

"Um, I don't know. We've got kind of a lot do to at the store at the moment…" Piper faltered quietly.

"So, there's an appointment on Friday morning first thing so you can get acquainted. I already asked them about available slots because I know you were keen to start work on the process and I didn't want to delay. Can I say you'll be there at 9am?" Sarah pushed.

Piper considered whether she should ask Polly first or whether she could just say to Sarah that she didn't need counselling for that and she was feeling much better….but she knew she wasn't.

"OK, I'll do it. But if I don't like it, I don't have to go back do I?"

"If you don't like it, we can talk about why. It's not my area of expertise and I wanted to make sure you had access to someone who has experience in this area. Our sessions will continue of course and we're still on for Monday, right?"

"Yeah, OK. Thanks."

"You're welcome. I'll email you with the address and confirm your appointment time too. Have a great day Piper."

"Bye."

XXXXX

Alex put the phone down to Polly, frustrated that Piper had cancelled the meeting with John. She knew there was no point in stoking up the fires by trying to call her to find out why and she already had so much to do for her own business at the moment. She was sitting at her dining table, having showered and changed into some jeans and a loose grey t-shirt, tying up her wet hair while she set to work on her laptop. There were 3 more contracts to make the additions to before she discussed them with her lawyer this afternoon. She quickly called John Peters to confirm PoPi still wanted to meet up, but they wanted to do some more work before they talked to him and he was fine with that.

Stopping for a break at lunch time, Alex was making a bowl of soup when she heard her phone beep with a new mail. Normally, she'd leave it until she was done with lunch, but she was waiting on the Italian contract to be confirmed and every ping of new mail had her eagerly checking her messages. She picked her phone up and recognised her lawyer's email address and the message title 'Rigoveri Contract' as being the one she had been waiting on. Taking a deep breath, she clicked to open it and scanned it quickly for confirmation. They'd got it! After a few fist pumps in the air above her, she re-read the mail properly to see that they needed to start straight away on the hair fashion event and excitedly called Nicky.

"Hey Stretch. How's it going?"

"Hi Nick. Is Lorna with you?"

"Yeah, she's just making coffee. You want to talk to her?"

"No, but can you go and stand with her and put me on speaker?"

"Hang on…." There was some muffled sounds as Nicky moved and put the phone on speaker.

"OK, we're both here. Are you about to ask us if we'll be God parents to your unborn child?"

"What? No! I just got confirmation that we won the Rigoveri contract!"

"Oh my God Alex, that's amazing!" Lorna shouted and Alex could hear them both jumping up and down in the background. Alex laughed and grinned that they shared her excitement.

"I know right? This is a huge deal and it all starts with that hair event, so we've got to pull out all the stops now to prove we can handle this. I'll send you the information I have so far and we'll get the full details through now we're all legally in contract. Nicky, do you want to tell the others and work out what overtime we can cover with our existing staff and what extra we need?"

"Yes! Oh man, they're gonna be so happy with this."

"Lorna, can you work out what space we're going to need to rent to handle all the shipments and get everything together for transport? We know we won't have enough space here for everything, so we need to look at secure warehouse space, close to the docks if possible. Secure and safe is most important. They charge too much for run down sheds on the docks."

"No problem, send me as much info as you can so I know what we're storing and I'll get some prices together."

"Great. I need to get these other contracts sorted out today and then I'll be able to help out. Thanks guys."

"No worries. Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Congratulations. You've worked hard for this and you deserve it. Your Mom would be real proud right now." Nicky was serious for a rare moment and it put a lump in Alex's throat when she mentioned her Mom.

"Thanks Nick. I know."

"We'll get started then. Speak later."

"Yeah, bye." Alex hung up and was suddenly hit with a wave of emotion at the unexpected sentiment from Nicky. The lump in her throat wouldn't go down and she felt her eyes getting watery.

"Fucking Hell, get it together Vause." She whispered as she wiped her eyes.

XXXXX

Piper shut down the cash register, counting about a hundred dollars in sales today. It wasn't going to be enough to pay 2 wages and the utilities if that was a regular event and she knew that was already on Polly's mind when they argued this morning. She closed the store up and headed home for the night on the subway, arriving home to the loose pile of papers she'd gathered after swiping them onto the floor that morning. Yes, she had a temper and yes, Sarah was trying to get her to recognise and deal with it. And yes….she didn't take advice easily.

Searching the fridge for inspiration, she made some chicken pesto pasta and sat at the dining table to eat it with a glass of water. The TV was on in the background, but her eyes were constantly drawn to the sport where she knew the NYPD envelopes were lying unopened. Knowing they were there and not being able to ignore them now, was making her angry with herself for not being able to forget about them. She was half way through her meal when the frustration became too much and she stood to pick them up. The temptation was very much there to run them through the shredder unopened and it seemed like the quickest and easiest way to get them out of her mind. But she knew there would be more to follow and calls and visits until she was dragged back into those memories kicking and screaming. She lay them in front of her plate and finished eating her meal before tidying the dishes away, all stalling tactics that wouldn't change the words inside those envelopes, but meant she could remain ignorant for a while longer.

Eventually, she decided to run a bath and came out to pick up the envelopes while the tub filled with hot water. She ripped the first one open, treating it as though it were a reminder to pay the gas bill as a way to get past the seal. It was a letter confirming that Darryl was going to be prosecuted for the attack on Piper in December and they had used this to link him to 3 other rape cases in Massachusetts and Connecticut, giving enough evidence to make a case. No great surprise as all that she'd heard from the police in her previous meetings suggested there would be a good case. Piper put the papers down for a moment and added some bath foam to the water as it continued to fill. She thanked her lucky stars that she hadn't been raped by him and hoped those other women were going to be OK. She wasn't the only one going through this. The second envelope was confirmation that she would be required to attend the court as a key witness and that she should ensure she has appropriate legal representation to advise her throughout the process. Sarah had mentioned this before, so she knew it might be needed if it got this far. With only one envelope left, she opened it sitting on the side of the bath. It was a date for the first court hearing, where he would be formally told of the charges he was being tried for and given the opportunity to plead guilty or not. It was only 2 weeks away and would take place in New York. She put the letters down in the kitchen and poured a shot of vodka. Swallowing it down quickly, she closed her eyes at the taste. It reminded her of an easy route to forgetting. The taste of blissful ignorance…She twirled the glass in her fingers and watched the remnants of the vodka move as they stuck to the sides of the empty glass. Conscious of the bath getting full, she took the glass with her and turned the taps off while she considered whether to have another.

XXXXX

Alex hadn't quite finished the changes to the contract with the French company they were partnering with when she had to leave to meet with her lawyer. She packed up her laptop to take with her and made a coffee to go before getting in her car and driving into the city. The news of the Rigoveri contract this morning was big and Alex knew this was going to be a massive test for the small team she had been working with for the last couple of years. Starting to worry a little that she was biting off more than she could chew, she resolved to seek some extra help, but give her existing team an opportunity to show their capabilities to step up to the challenges ahead. Pulling into the gated car park behind her lawyers office, Alex got her bag out and headed inside. Although she wasn't using exactly the same lawyer as she did for her criminal case when she left the cartel, it was the same firm. Different specialisms meant they were big enough to have top people in most fields and Alex had an established relationship with this firm over many years, so kept her dollars with the same people. She had given them thousands of dollars over the years and the deal she made for bringing down the cartel made the firm a lot of money. She knew she was in good hands and they knew all of her investments made her a cash cow, so she was always top of the Christmas card list.

She reported to Reception and waited about 5 minutes for her lawyer to come and find her.

"Hey Alex, good news about Rigoveri hey?" He smiled warmly as he shook her hand.

"Hi Rob. Yeah, we're really excited to get started on it now. It feels like the hard work is only just beginning after a lot of talking these last couple of weeks." Alex rose to follow him into his office along the corridor.

"You're right. It was a real win to get those bonus conditions in there though. I really thought they were gonna play hard ball on the percentages you were pushing for, but it will be a nice pay day for you at the end of the year if you can get the others to sign up to the same terms. Take a seat. Can I get you a coffee? We just got a fancy new machine in and I'm addicted already." Rob was waiting for her order by the door, pre-empting a yes.

"Coffee would be great. Espresso please."

"I'll leave it with Wendy. I'd go, but I don't think you're here to look at my wall art and I know you're a busy lady. Give me a second."

Alex got her laptop out while she was waiting and it wasn't long before Rob was back and sitting down behind his desk.

"OK. So, I got the amendments to everything except one of them now I think…unless you sent it through recently?"

"No, the French one is the last. I was running late, so thought we'd just finish that up first. It will only take me 10 minutes tops. I'll bring it up now. Can you get me all of the details on the Italian contract out while you wait? I need my guys setting things up today really if we're going to get this fashion show sorted out in time."

Rob and Alex both tapped away on their keyboards and Wendy brought their coffees in as they worked quietly. Thanking her, it was a minute before Alex took a sip while she waited for a file to load.

"Mmm, you weren't kidding about this coffee. What is it, some big ass grinding machine with a slot for coins you're paying through the nose for?"

"We used to have exactly that, but a vending machine wasn't giving the right image to our high flying customers when we were raking our pockets for spare change to get them a drink for their $500 an hour consultations. So, we got something a little more discreet and low maintenance. It's the latest Nespresso machine. Just sits on the counter top in the kitchen back there. I think they've got a couple for every floor."

"Any going spare?"

"Coffee machines?"

"Yeah, like still in the box and yet to be put to use."

"Er, I don't know. I think they're all out. Why, are you wanting one?"

"Yes. Could you get one sorted for me while we're having our meeting do you think? Since I'm one of your favourite customers and all?" Alex batted her eyelashes and grinned.

"One of the strangest requests I've ever heard for keeping the clients sweet, but we can do that for you I think. Let me ask Wendy if they can organise something now."

XXXXX

On Thursday morning, Piper was just pulling on her jeans when there was a loud knock at the door. She quickly fastened them and pulled on the closest hoodie she could find before jogging to the front door.

"Hi….I ….wasn't expecting you….was I?" Piper looked past Poussey to see if she was alone.

"Well good morning! I've had nicer welcomes, but it's early, so I'll give you that Blondie."

"Right, thanks. Um, would you like to come in?" Piper stood aside to leave the doorway open.

"No thanks, I just came by to drop this off for you. Apparently, you might need it before you go to work….and I'm also supposed to give you a ride…..So, yes I'd better come in actually." Poussey bent down and lifted a large box wrapped in brown paper.

"OK….come on in then." Piper let her walk past her carrying the box, before placing it on the dining table and dropping onto the sofa.

"So, I need to open this now do I?"

"Yes."

"I don't think I ordered anything online recently."

"You'd better not make me late playing 20 questions lady. Nicky is cracking the whip today, so open it already!"

There wasn't any label on it with a name or address, so it was hand delivered and not posted. Piper regarded it curiously for a moment before Poussey cleared her throat loudly to speed her up. She ripped the paper off to find a note on top of the box.

'Pipes, sorry for breaking your coffee habit (and machine). Hope you accept my first apology instalment. Alex. X…. P.S. The pods can be recycled and the coffee bean pickers are paid a fair wage.'

Poussey looked over Piper's shoulder to read the note and huffed. "Did I seriously just get sent over here at 8 in the morning to deliver a God damn love letter or what? And no I ain't taking one back for you."


	55. Chapter 55

**A/N: That last chapter was especially for Tara and everyone else who has the same anxieties as me about the lack of a coffee machine or the last time they went grocery shopping in the story. It keeps me awake at night wondering if I can write that Piper made a fresh smoothie when she didn't shop for 7 days... Anyway, thanks for the reviews everyone - I love that people are reading the same words and interpreting the character feelings differently. I also love Nespresso prooffice ;-) You want some story now?**

Poussey dropped Piper off at work and she arrived before Polly, so took to opening everything up and putting the heating on. It was a cold day in New York and the air was freezing, so she wanted their shop to feel warm and welcoming so people would stay a while and browse while they regained the feeling in their fingers and toes.

The coffee machine was as much an olive branch as a love letter and Piper appreciated Alex's gesture, though the snooping through her mail was something she wasn't happy about. She decided to send her a text to say thanks anyway though.

'Morning! Thanks for the wake-up call with a bonus caffeine high, it was perfect. X'

Putting her phone in her jeans pocket, she heard the back door open and was relieved to know Polly was coming back today and not avoiding her after their argument about the John Peters meeting. It was a few minutes before she came into the front of the store and Piper took a deep breath to speak first.

"Pol, I _am_ really sorry about cancelling that meeting yesterday. I thought about what you said and you were right, it should have been a joint decision and I was out of line to cancel without talking to you first."

"I'm glad you're feeling guilty about it. That was a particularly shitty thing to do, seeing as how we need to increase sales." Polly stood with her arms folded across her body.

"I know. I just wanted us to do it on our own, without owing anyone any favours."

"Why would we owe favours?"

"Well, we don't know what Alex did to get that meeting. You've gotta admit it's suspect when we can't get past the start line and she can sort a personal call within minutes, don't you think?"

Polly sighed and sat in the chair next to Piper, rubbing her temples.

"You didn't ask her though did you?"

"Well, no…but it's obvious-"

"What is obvious is you waiting for her to do something wrong so you can jump up screaming 'I told you so!' like you got a full house in the bingo. I called her yesterday Piper."

"Polly! It's none of your business-" Piper started, hands on hips and ready to rage again.

"Just wait, will you? I called her and asked how she got us that meeting. John is the brother of a guy who works for Alex. She gave him a job in tough times and John was grateful for her giving him a chance and said he'd like to do something in return…She called it in for you Piper. The only favours here are on the part of Alex and John."

The wind was totally blown out of Piper's sails. This was exactly the same sort of conversation she'd had with Nicky when Alex went to London at the last moment. She was quiet for a while as she considered what to say to her exasperated friend.

"Well, to be fair…you're the one always telling me to be careful with her…" She finally countered.

"Don't even try and put this on me Piper. I do tell you that, but that doesn't mean jump to conclusions and make snap decisions without knowing the facts. If you ask her something and she lies to you, that's different. But she wasn't hiding anything here Piper, a simple question from you would have avoided all of this." Polly stood, seeing how shitty Piper was feeling right now, stepping close enough to take hold of her by the shoulders.

"Look, it's done now. I was really mad at you yesterday and I am glad that you're being cautious with Alex after what you guys have been through. But you _have_ to start communicating Piper. You're a different person since you came back from Litchfield, I know that. But there's no shanking to worry about out here and plenty of people want to help you and do nice things for you because they like you. Alex is supposed to be your girlfriend for God's sake – isn't that still the case?" Polly dropped her head to catch Piper's eyes.

"Yeah."

"OK. Well, isn't it a nice thing that your girlfriend wanted to help to get you a meeting with this guy?"

"Yes….it's nice OK. I know that. It's just I'd like us to be able to do it all on our own you know?" Piper shrugged and started to straighten the papers on the counter top.

"Fuck that. If someone's going to give us a step up the ladder at any point on this back breaking journey to be successful with PoPi, I'm sure as Hell not saying no to it. Be real about it, we needed investment to help us get this far, we should use whatever expertise we can get to make it in this. Alex has managed to get her company up and running and she should have a few tricks up her sleeve that we can benefit from. If you are doing sexual favours to get them from her, I'm all for it." Polly waggled her eyebrows and grinned as she gently punched Piper on the arm.

XXXXX

Alex was looking around the locations that Lorna had shortlisted for new premises when her phone buzzed with a message from Piper. She smiled when she saw it, but put her phone back in her pocket to concentrate on what the real estate guy was telling her about the place by the harbour. It was expensive purely because it was by the harbour and Alex had serious reservations about security in this area. The roof in particular seemed in need of an overhaul and if any of their stock got damaged through weather getting in, the contracts were as good as torn up while they were on probation effectively. She tested the waters a bit on whether the price was negotiable on the basis of the repair work and the fact it looked like it had been empty for a while, but she couldn't see them moving here and getting the work done in the timescales they were working to right now. Heading over to her last appointment, she dialled Lorna on her hands free to check all of the information had been sent from her lawyer to deliver the hair fashion contract.

"So, we need to have the extra storage in place by Saturday at the latest then?...Fuck, I just can't see us using any of these places as quickly as that…Yeah, the harbour was perfect for space and location, but the ceiling tiles were in bad shape and there's no way we could re-roof before the weekend even if we signed today."

"We're trying to make some space in our stock room, but it's only gonna be for the smaller and lighter stuff as we'll have to put it up high mostly. If we can't start taking the stock this weekend, it's gonna be too late for the ships to take it and we're talking air freight prices to make it on time. You know how much that's going to cost for the amount we're moving to Italy Alex."

"You're right. Shit…Can you work out some costs for if we can only send what we can fit in our stock room on the ships and the rest via plane then? So I can see the risk we're deciding on? I've got one ore place to see today and I'll have to put some pressure on the real estate guys to get out there and find us something quickly if it's no good."

"I'll get on it now. Fingers crossed for the next appointment then. Speak to you later Alex."

"Bye Lorna."

XXXXX

Piper tried to distract herself for the rest of the day with clearing and wiping down all of the shelves in the store, then re-filling with a change around of the stock so the spring scents were closest to the door. She tried to keep her mind off the fact that in the morning she had her first rape counselling session and hadn't mentioned it to Polly yet. Her best friend didn't know anything about the attack when she was in prison and she didn't want to talk about it either, so she switched from pretending it wasn't happening as she hummed to chart tunes on the radio and going over a planned dialogue in her head about how she could tell Polly she needed time off without too much truth or lies. There had been a few more customers through the door today, which was a relief, but two of them in the store full time was overkill right now. Before she knew it, it was 5:30 and Polly was starting to get things ready to close the place down for the night, still not knowing that Piper needed the morning off. If she worked any place else, she could phone in with a phony cough and paper towel over the speaker for a sick day.

As they locked the back door and Polly picked her phone out of her bag to text Pete, Piper saw her chance.

"Oh, hey Pol. I forgot to mention that Sarah from the VSU sorted an appointment for me tomorrow morning. I know it' a bit late notice, but are you OK with me coming in a bit later tomorrow?" She kept her tone casual and avoided eye contact, focusing on the door lock instead.

"Yeah, sure. Did she move your next appointment to an earlier day then?" Polly didn't look up from her phone, thankfully.

"She was switching some stuff around and called me to ask if Friday would be OK and I said I thought it would be fine. I should be in by like 11 at the latest I think though. Thanks, I'd better run if I want to get that subway before I freeze on the platform." She started to walk quickly and finished the sentence talking over her shoulder to avoid any further questions. "See you tomorrow!" Rounding the corner, Piper pulled out her phone and saw that Alex hadn't replied to her text. Maybe her girlfriend was still pissed at her for the argument they had over the court case letters and she also knew Piper had cancelled the meeting with John Peters now, and that could have happened after she sent the coffee machine. Piper sighed and put her phone away until she got home and took her coat off. She called her Dad to tell him a date had been set for the court case and he wanted to check she wasn't planning on using the 'douchebag' who represented her last time. Piper reassured him she wouldn't, but she didn't know who yet. He offered to check his contacts at the golf club to see if they could recommend anyone, but she suspected she really needed someone local to her and also someone fairly affordable by New York standards. After checking in on the family and thankfully finding that her Mother was out at Bridge club, she said goodnight and started to look through the cupboards for something to eat and poured a glass of wine from a bottle of red that she found in the process. She couldn't really be bothered to cook anything and resigned to making some toast with a tin of alphabet spaghetti heated on top. Classy, very classy. The wine was finished before the spaghetti was even warmed and she poured another. It had been a tough couple of days, she reasoned, so she deserved a little relaxed glass or two. Picking up her plate to eat at the dinner table, she caught sight of the NYPD logos peeking out over the top of the shelf and resolved to sit on the opposite side, facing away from them. Picking through her food, she started to wonder what sort of things she might be asked tomorrow and whether any of this might be used against her in the upcoming court case. Could they possibly turn this against her to lay the blame with her, rather that Darryl? It would be just her luck for that to happen. She was suddenly afraid that telling someone might mean it becomes official and can be used in Darryl's prosecution in some way. Fuck! There was no way she wanted that to happen. She didn't want her history in prison to be the reason that sick bastard got away with an attempted rape on her and the actual rape of two other women. The thought of them possibly not getting justice on account of Piper's past made her nauseous and she pushed her plate of half eaten food aside.

She stood to pour another glass of wine and her phone buzzed with a message on the kitchen worktop. It was from Alex.

'Hey. Glad you like it Been really busy at work today, sorry. How's things? X'

Piper had one hand on the bottle of wine and the other on her phone. She knew if she poured another glass from the bottle, there would only be a small amount left to finish and she'd have the whole thing. As she caught herself staring between her options, she reasoned that it was perfectly OK to finish a bottle of wine on her own on a work night because it wasn't hard liquor. She also reasoned that Alex and Polly wouldn't know any different if she did drink it all if she sent a quick reply back saying everything was fine and she was heading to bed. She poured another large glass and walked to the sofa with it, her phone in her pocket again. After flicking the TV onto a chat show repeat, she finished the glass and went to empty the last of it before getting her phone out to send a quick reply to Alex.

'All food here. I know you talked to Polish, but its K with metro. X'

'Um, did you let autocorrect write that?'

'No. Stupid phone. Weather are you?'

'I'm at home, if I translated correctly. Are you OK?'

'Fine.'

A second later, her phone started ringing.

"Hello Alex."

"Hello you. I'm not bad at languages, but my autocorrect replacement is a bit rusty."

"You are good at languages! Speak French to me."

"Êtes-vous seul à la maison?" Alex asked in a sultry voice.

Piper giggled in response.

"Hmm. Can I call you back in 15 minutes?"

"Should I slip into something more comfortable if you're going to read me a French novel?"

"15 minutes. Don't leave your phone. And yes, your pyjamas sound like a good idea." Piper hung up and finished the rest of her glass before looking through her cupboard for the opened vodka bottle. If Alex was going to call her back and talk French some more, she could properly relax and there was no more wine now. Piper was lying on the sofa watching the chat show again when Alex called her back.

"Bonjour Alex." Piper slurred.

"Bonjour. Are you at home?"

"In French Alex! You're sposed to be saying French to me."

"Oiu, bien sur. Es-tu a la maison?"

Piper giggled again.

"You know, this is a very one sided conversation when I'm doing all the talking and you're just giggling back at me."

"You're not saying it in French Alex! Say everything in French….all the time…..like…FOREVER."

"Only if you're gonna reply in French."

"No fair. You know my French sucks."

"And you know I'm a good teacher."

Piper giggled again.

"Alex! I was talking about speaking French, not the other thing."

"What other thing?"

"You know, the other thing I mean." Alex was taken back to the drunk Piper who was flirty and coy when they were together the first time. That was the Piper who wore her emotions on her sleeve and Alex could read her so well to pre-empt her reactions and was already waiting with a get well plan for bringing her around. It seemed like an age ago compared to the Piper she was developing a new relationship with now. There were still a lot of the familiar characteristics there, but this was a more mature version that wore battle scars and hid emotions and thoughts more.

"No, I have no idea what you are referring to Ms Chapman."

Piper giggled again and was about to reply when there was a knock at the door.

"Ugh, someone at the door. Hold that thought." Piper left her phone on the sofa and stomped over to the front door, fully expecting it to be Polly with a Chinese take out.

"How long do I need to hold this thought for Ms Chapman?"

Piper tried to keep her grin from spreading over her face, but it burst through no matter how hard she pressed her lips together. Alex raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Still on the stoop and holding the thought, as instructed." Alex gestured towards the doorway.

"You can come in." Piper stepped aside and Alex brought a large holdall in with her, dropping it by the coat hooks.

"Um, I said you could come in, not actually move in?!"

"Don't worry, I know it's protocol to book U-Haul for that. It's just some clothes to get changed and some work stuff."

"OK." Piper started to close the door behind her and caught Alex moving the vodka bottle away into the cupboard again.

"I only had a glass."

"OK….Sorry, did you want some more?" Alex lifted the bottle again and raised her eyebrows at Piper.

"No."

"Good. Because I want to taste you, not vodka." Alex wrapped her arms around Piper's waist and pulled her in for a chaste kiss. She moved her lips slowly against Piper's, trying to strike a balance between loving and supportive, but keeping just a tongue flick away from passionate. Piper was just drunk enough to be horny and Alex did not want to open that can of worms right now. Alex eventually broke away for a breath and leaned back to look at Piper properly.

"So, how come you're here in my house?"

"I wanted coffee." Alex shrugged and stroked her fingers through Piper's hair.

"I see….Is that like a new neighbour making the excuse to come around for a cup of sugar?" Piper raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, it's exactly like that. Who knows what I might be calling around for next time." Alex chuckled and released Piper from her grip to walk over to the coffee machine.

"Are you going to make it or is that what you wanted me to teach you tonight?"

"Let me do it. I need the practice." Piper puller her out of the way and started up the machine.

Alex sat on the sofa and pulled her laptop out and the pile of papers for vacant warehouses she was going through when Piper texted her earlier.

Piper brought their coffees over a few minutes later and sat next to her on the sofa.

"You're still working? It's like 9pm Alex!"

"Yeah, I've got some stuff to do tonight. I wanted to see you though." She turned and kissed the blonde on the cheek, putting her mug down and smacking her lips. "Mmmm, that's an amazing coffee machine you've got there. Wherever did you get such a fine piece of equipment?"

"Oh, some old trout gave it to me." Piper shrugged and put her mug down too.

"Hey, old I will accept, but TROUT?! Seriously?!" Alex tickled Piper under her arms and around her ribs and they both fell back onto the sofa laughing.

"Ah, my ribs! Ah, ah!...Ok, I take it back!" Piper gasped.

"Now, who gave it to you did you say?"

"My gorgeous girlfriend, who may or may not be using it as an excuse to visit me late at night with an overnight bag."

"Exactly right." Alex grinned and drank some more coffee.

"So how come you're looking at all these…." Piper lifted the papers up and regarded the front covers of a few brochures.

"Because we signed that Rigoveri contract in Italy and we start straight away, so we need more space."

"Oh my God, Alex that's amazing!" Piper was genuinely happy for her and threw her arms around Alex for a bear hug that went on and on. Alex laughed and smiled big at Piper being so happy for her.

"I know right, the girls are thrilled too."

"That's massive for you guys! I can't believe it's all happened so quickly too. Are you moving NY Logistics?"

Alex told her about the need for more space and the work that Lorna was doing to try and work out what it might cost to send everything by air if they couldn't get new premises agreed before the weekend.

"That's crazy. How are you guys going to do all of that?"

"We're going to have to hire, but that won't be something we can do quickly. Nicky's looking at the overtime situation and everyone's happy to pitch in to make it work. There's just so much to do now."

"Can I help with anything?"

"Nah, you've got enough on with PoPi right now. Thanks though." She smiled, appreciating the offer.

"I'm serious Alex. The store is really quiet at the moment and Polly can easily manage on her own for a bit if I can do anything. Just tell me what you need and if I can do it, I'll be there."

"I'll bear it in mind. We might even want to borrow your stock room at this rate!"

Piper insisted she wanted to help Alex to work tonight, so she was given the job of working through the brochures and assessing each one against the criteria that Alex had drawn up for cost, space, security, proximity to transport links and state of repair. Alex knew she wouldn't last too long after seeing the empty bottle of wine and before she was half way through the brochures, Alex saw her snoring softly against the arm of the sofa. The brunette smiled and stroked Piper's hair behind her ear, looking at the peaceful vision in front of her. Gently pushing her arms beneath the sleeping woman, Alex gently lifted her up and carried her to bed, shuffling her under the covers as quietly as she could so she didn't wake her. Bringing some headache pills and a large glass of water back to put beside the pillow, Alex kissed her on the forehead and went back to burn the midnight oil on the warehouse puzzle she was struggling to solve.


	56. Chapter 56

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter guys. Welcome to allievamp - I love a new binge reader catching up with the story! Nice to see so many of you liking how Alex is adapting to support Piper in ways that don't result in a blow-up. Equally, Piper is realising that Alex has been her rock this last week especially. Aw, Vauseman...**

Alex stayed up all night, wading through the brochures and internet information for vacant storage space, warehouses for sale or rent and google maps for possible locations and street view details of anything she could shortlist. Despite a few of the agents staying answering her calls quite late, past 10pm she knew it was all about making notes and educated guesses on some of the places she was shortlisting. It was 7am and she needed to freshen up before heading out to the appointments she'd arranged for that day, so she got into the shower and changed into clean clothes, towel drying her hair and leaving it loose while she made some breakfast. By 8am, she still hadn't heard Piper get up and was worried she might oversleep if she hadn't set an alarm last night. Making coffee and toast for breakfast for both of them, she gently pushed the bedroom door open and set the tray down on the bed beside Piper so she could wake her softly with a kiss on the forehead, stroking the arm resting above her head on the pillow.

"Morning sleeping beauty, I've nominated myself as your wake up call." Alex reached for her toast and took a bite while Piper was scrunching her face up and clearly conflicted about whether she had to open her eyes right now.

"Mmmm, can I smell coffee?" Piper turned onto her side, still with her eyes closed.

"Yes you can. It's right in front of you if want to taste it too. You know it's after 8 don't you?" Alex mumbled through a mouth full of toast.

"Shit!" Piper suddenly sat upright, nearly knocking over the tray with coffee on it.

"Ah, there she is." Alex grinned and picked up her own coffee, moving off the bed so Piper could jump up.

"Oh….ow… Piper winced as she stood too quickly and felt her head throbbing suddenly.

"Take those, then shower." Alex gestured towards the pain meds and water on her nightstand with her coffee mug before walking back to the lounge to call Lorna.

"You are a life saver!" Piper called after her, when her brain caught up.

Reappearing half an hour later and tying up her still wet hair with a piece of toast hanging from her mouth, Piper was pulling on her shoes when Alex already stood by the door with her bag.

"I don't suppose I could be really cheeky and ask if you can drop me off this morning could I?" She hopped to her other foot to pull on her other Converse.

Alex chuckled. "I kind of anticipated it, so yeah. Ready when you are."

Piper locked the door behind them and Alex clicked the trunk open for her bag as Piper climbed into the passenger side, scrolling her phone screen.

"Um, so can you take me to Queensboro, the corner of Smithson?" Piper asked without looking up.

"You're not going to the store?" Alex looked at her questioning the address as she pulled out into the street.

"Not until later, I've got an appointment first thing." Piper was looking straight ahead and being matter of fact as though it were a routine check with the optician she was attending.

"OK….." Alex didn't question it, but left a clear space in the conversation for Piper to fill with something more. The blonde was looking out of the side window, clearly avoiding Alex's sideways glances. Driving through the streets in silence, Alex bit back her natural reaction to enquire what the appointment was for, instead wishing that Piper would share what she was thinking without being pushed.

They were at a red light when Piper finally wrestled with conflicting thoughts and spoke for the first time since giving Alex the address.

"Sarah arranged an appointment with a specialist rape counsellor. It's my first meeting this morning." Her eyes remained fixed on the road in front of them, but she desperately wanted to see Alex's reaction through her peripheral vision. The brunette didn't speak straight away, letting the information sink in that her girlfriend was about to tackle this thing head on after years of denial and burying it.

"Do you want to call them and let them know you're going to be a few minutes late?"

"Yeah, I'd better do that now." Piper wasn't sure what to make of Alex's somewhat clinical reaction to what she just said, but she searched for the number and left a message on the reception voicemail when it went straight to answerphone.

"Are you OK?" Alex asked gently as the crossed through the underpass into Queensboro with the morning traffic.

"I think so. I'm nervous though." Piper caught her eye for the first time and Alex could see the fear in her blue eyes as a quick flash before she turned away again. Alex reached over to take Piper's hand in her own and squeezed it gently, rubbing her thumb over the top of her knuckles slowly. A couple of minutes passed before Alex interrupted Piper's whirling thoughts.

"Do you want me to come in with you? I mean, I don't think they'll let me into your meeting, but I could like wait in the reception area or something if you want?"

"No, I'll be fine. Thanks though. I probably won't be in there long anyway and I can get the subway back to the store straight afterwards."

"OK, if you're sure?"

"Honestly, I'll just be glad to get it over with. Polly doesn't know by the way. She thinks it's another appointment with Sarah because she changed it."

"Well, I haven't said a word to anyone. That's all in your control Pipes. You said the corner of Smithson, right? Is that the place there?" Alex pointed to a new high rise with lots of different company names on the board by the door.

"Er…..yeah, that's them. Dennison and Leigh. Just drop me on the side of the road here and you can get back into the traffic….Thanks Al, I'll call you later OK?"

"Yeah, call me as soon as you're done will you? I just want to know how it goes." Alex leaned over to give her a hug and a kiss on the lips before leaning back and holding her shoulders. "I'm really proud of you for doing this Pipes. Just try to be as honest as you can, OK?" Green eyes searched blue for confirmation and Piper's eyes got a little watery as she tried to push away from her girlfriend.

"I will. Thanks. See you." Her belt was unbuckled and she grabbed her bag to get out of the car quickly before she lost the nerve to go in at all. Alex waved her off and pulled back into the traffic to circle around the one way system and get back to the Manhattan side.

Piper stood in front of the board of business names, double checking this was the right place in case there was a last minute reprieve from going through this. There wasn't, so she sat on the bench outside the front door to compose herself a while, checking her watery eyes were clear and giving herself a mini pep talk about not being there against her will and she could leave at any point if it started to get too much. After 5 minutes, she stood and reported to the reception desk, where she got directions to the 10th floor and was greeted by another Receptionist.

"Good Morning. I'm Piper Chapman, I left a message saying I was running a little late?"

"Oh, hey! Yes, I got that, thanks Piper. I'll let Julie know you're here and she'll be out in a jiffy. Take a seat sweetheart." Piper smiled, though it felt a little weird being called 'sweetheart' by a boy of no more than 20, smartly dressed as he was. As she twisted the hem of her shirt between her fingertips nervously, she ran through potential scripts for how the conversation might go – the questions she might be asked and how she would go about answering them – either honestly of vaguely.

"Piper Chapman?" A short, stocky woman with cropped grey hair walked over to greet her, walking with a slight limp.

"Yes! Hi, that's me." Piper smiled.

"Hey Piper, I'm Julie Leigh. Can I get you a caffeine fix before we settle down for a chinwag?"

"I ought to put up some resistance, seeing as though I just had one, but actually I will have another thanks. White with no sugar for me." Piper said nervously, already conscious that she was starting to ramble on the first time of opening her mouth.

"Just the same as me, I like it when the orders are easy to remember. Here, let me show you into the office so you can get settled while I press the buttons on this machine." Julie smiled and gestured towards her office, guiding her to the comfy armchairs by the window before heading back out to the coffee machine. Piper stood by the chairs and looked at the view out of the window until Julie came back with their drinks.

"Nice day out there today isn't it? I like it when it's fresh and the sky is blue, especially from up here. It makes the day feel almost summery!" Julie smiled.

"Yeah, I feel like I've been hibernating for months already. How long have you been in these offices then, they seem quite new?"

"Here you go Piper." Julie handed her the coffee before continuing. "A couple of years now. We used to have a place over in Brooklyn but the building we were in wasn't getting renovated by the landlord, so we took out a good deal over here where the rents are much lower for office space as they want to encourage new businesses into the area."

"I know what you mean. We opened a soap store in Brooklyn last year and the rent is going to kill us when the new business deal runs out in the summer and we're paying full rates. I'm trying not to think about it at the moment." Piper shrugged and stared out of the window again.

"It's so stressful going self-employed, so I feel your pain! It's also a subject I could waffle on about all day and you're not here for that kind of advice, so I'm going to stop before you get me started on that subject." Julie laughed. "Do you want to take a seat and we'll get started on the real reason you're drinking coffee with me this morning?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure." Piper sat down nervously, gripping her coffee mug with both hands.

"So, let me start by telling you a little about me and what we can do for you. I'm a specialist counsellor for survivors of sexual violence and I've been doing this for about 10 years now in our own offices, before that working for a charity organisation in a similar role. I'm not here to judge or interview you on your experiences and I won't force you to tell me anything you're not ready to talk about. I'm primarily here to listen and help you to come to terms with what you've been through, help you understand your feelings at the time, your feelings now and how you might want to change those feelings in the future. There are lots of different ways we can help you here and you and I talking one on one is just one method, but there's group work, interactive workshops, all kinds of things if you want to look at other options as well. I'm kind of giving you the marketing blurb there, but basically, you set the agenda and the pace. I'm here to help you." Julie smiled and stopped talking for a while to drink some coffee while Piper thought about whether she was supposed to fill the gap with an acknowledgement of some sort. She opted to smile and sip her own coffee to avoid either rambling or saying something she didn't mean to.

"Now, Sarah has gotten you an appointment today with us, so I have your name and contact details and a very brief overview of your case. Can we start with why you agreed to come and see me today?"

Well, at least she didn't start with the big 'what happened?' question. That was something to be grateful for. Although the question she was expected to answer right now suddenly didn't feel as easy to answer as it should. To be honest, she hadn't really thought about why she had said yes to Sarah making this appointment. Was 'Sarah caught me at a bad time and I just wanted to get her off the phone' an answer? Probably not, though there was a dash of truth in it. Think…why would you say yes….?

"To be honest, I'm still 50/50 on whether I'm a yes or a no even while I'm sitting here." Piper moved the tip of her index around the rim of her mug in thought.

"I like honest. I'd be shocked if you were all in the yes camp on your first meeting anyway. So tell me about the 50 percent that says no."

"Well, um….The no is saying what is the point in dredging up the past I suppose? It's saying what will it actually change? What happened has happened and you can't change the past. It's saying I can screw the lid down tight and carry on living my life without… _remembering_. Without letting that event and the people involved taint the life that I have now." Piper stared out of the window for a second before looking back at Julie, signalling she wasn't going to offer any more excuses.

"Do you think it's possible to do that? Live your life without remembering that you have been sexually assaulted?"

When Piper heard those words 'sexually assaulted' it felt like Julie was talking about somebody else, like it was a conversation she was observing rather than participating in. It made her uncomfortable to think of them applying to her and she wanted to distance herself from the label.

"Well, I was coping with it….The attack. It's possible to carry on with your life as normal to the rest of the world when nobody here knows about what happened. Nobody judges you or feels sorry for you or treats you differently."

"Is that something that worries you Piper, that people might treat you differently?"

Piper shrugged and sipped her coffee while she thought about her answer. "Yeah, I think so….and I don't want that."

"Well, that's precisely the reason why this practise exists. To provide a comfortable and safe environment for you to talk about the assault and your feelings around that. It's something that is understandably difficult to discuss with other people, particularly those who are close to you. It remains entirely up to you how you choose to deal with the assault and your relationships outside of here, we just provide a forum for you to be open and honest to let those thoughts and feelings out with people who can help when you need it. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Is that all the no's you brought?"

"Er, yeah. You were expecting more?" Piper was puzzled.

"Not today. I know you'll think of more though." Julie smiled. "So, now tell me about the reasons you said yes. And Sarah's powers of persuasion are a given."

"Right, Ok. That was my first one actually." Piper knitted her eyebrows, trying to think of any other reasons.

"Well, I guess maybe I realise it's time to stop avoiding it and pretending it never happened. I've used liquor as a way of helping me forget shitty things and I'm increasingly aware of my friends trying to secretly babysit me because they think I'll drink too much. I guess it's not fair on them to worry like that for a grown woman." Julie nodded and made a couple of notes on her pad on the side table.

"And so do any of your friends know that you were sexually assaulted?"

"No. Well, yes. My girlfriend Alex does. I told her very recently. She was the first person I ever told and she persuaded me to tell Sarah about it on Monday. I don't want anyone else knowing though."

"That's perfectly normal Piper and completely understandable too. Alex must be very special to you for you to discuss this with her. Have you been together long?"

Piper laughed at how all of her answers that involved Alex were a mix of yes and no. "No, and also yes. She was my girlfriend a few years ago and we recently started dating again, so it's like finding your favourite albums from the happiest years of your life and playing them again when she's with me." Piper blushed. "Soppy right?"

"Definitely!" Julie laughed.

"She dropped me off this morning actually. And she came round last night I think because she could tell I was drinking to block out this meeting. Even though she's got a ton of important work to do."

"She sounds too good to be true."

"Oh, she's far from perfect. Believe me. But she's been pretty amazing while I've been going through this."

"So is Alex one of the reasons you came today? Apart from the door to door drop off?"

"Yeah, she is. She broke the seal really and said she would face the monster with me. When you know someone like that, someone who is a real force to be reckoned with and doesn't give up, it gives me strength I think. I have my own strength, but I also realised that I've got a lot of denial going on and Alex is probably tearing her hair out with me when I'm not looking. It's hard to trust people though, you know?"

Julie nodded and made some more notes on her pad.

"So, my next question might be the hardest of all…." Piper clenched her jaw, waiting for the 'what happened?' question to be vocalised.

"Would you like to book another appointment?" Julie grinned, knowing that Piper had become increasingly less guarded as their conversation had progressed. Seeing her visibly drop her shoulders and exhale caused Julie to chuckle a little.

"Maybe it's the hardest question because it means we can't carry on getting acquainted and also I can't help but get my hopes up that you'll say yes!"

"It's also a bit cruel! But, yes, I would like to book another appointment if you'll have me back?" Piper smiled and stood to smooth her jeans down again.

Julie walked over to her diary to check the available slots. "Do you want another next week? I've got the same time next Friday open….or….." She thumbed the pages over looking for a fortnightly option.

"Next Friday at the same time would be fine for me. Thank you."

"Great! You're all booked in then Piper. It's been really lovely meeting you today and I hope you've found it wasn't as bad as you had imagined it was going to be."

"No, it wasn't anything like I expected. Thank you Julie, I think I've actually enjoyed it today." Piper sounded surprised as she spoke the words.

"Well, take my card here and there are some numbers and a website on there for help and information if you do have a moment of panic before we meet again. I look forward to our next coffee together. Let me see you to the door."

XXXXX

Alex had circled the block to get back into the traffic in the opposite direction and saw Piper sitting on the bench outside the office building in Queensboro. She pulled into a side street to see if Piper would go inside and was relieved when she saw the blonde opening the door a couple of minutes later. It didn't stop the nagging urge Alex had to cancel her real estate appointments and sit in the waiting room for her, mindlessly thumbing through the top 10 denim fashion mistakes of the 90's in some ancient waiting room teen magazine she was bound to find there. She also considered trying to set up a skype viewing session from the McDonalds wi-fi connection around the corner so she could pick Piper up. Whatever way she tried to contrive to be there for when Piper came out, she knew she had to get inside those buildings to haggle on prices and push the deal through today. Piper would need some space to process all of this anyway she reasoned and she'd call her as soon as she could. She pulled out of the side street and headed back over towards the banks of the Hudson to hit a potential hot spot for warehouse space.

XXXXX

Piper emerged from the front door and sat back down on the bench for a moment while she checked the subway map for getting to Popi from here. She didn't often venture over this side of the tracks, so she needed to get her bearings a bit. Noticing a text from Alex, she opened it quickly.

'Hey gorgeous. Hope your meet and greet was OK today? Don't forget to call me with the gossip from the waiting room. I'm all ears! Unless I'm in a network blackspot in a dark and damp warehouse, in which case, leave a message about the must have loafers for this season. xxx'

Piper smiled as she called Alex from the bench outside the offices.

"Hi, how'd it go?" Alex answered within 2 rings, causing Piper to laugh when she got straight to business.

"Hey. It was good actually. I considered bailing when I was standing outside, but she was really nice and it was nothing like I was expecting."

"Great! So are you going back?"

"Yes. I booked another appointment for next week. Maybe she was luring me in gently, but it was very relaxed and….I don't know….like, she wasn't forcing anything you know?"

"She sounds nice, and I'm glad you wanted to make another appointment. You've done so much in a week already Pipes, so take your time with it babe."

"Thanks Al. Where are you? You sound like you're in an aircraft hangar!"

"A warehouse in Newark actually. It's no good though. The size is great, but the location sucks unless we move our offices down here completely and I don't want to drive over here every day if I can help it. I've got a couple more lined up for this afternoon closer to home though. They're a bit pricier, but it will make things simpler to be close to our current office. Are you going to work now?"

"Yeah, I told Polly I'd be in as soon as I could. I'm just heading for the subway now. Shall I come round to your place tonight? I can cook us something to eat if you've got a full day ahead."

"That would be nice. I don't know what time I'll get finished though, but maybe come round to the office after work and I can either give you the key or you can hang out until I'm done? I can only hope you don't get a better offer for the rest of the day on that basis can't I?" Alex chuckled.

"Yeah, I can do that. I might be able to help with something, you never know. OK, well, I need to get going. I'll call you when I'm home tonight to see where you are and we can take it from there. See you later."

"Bye Pipes."

Piper headed into PoPi armed with some coffees and salad boxes from the café on the corner of the street next to the subway. She felt a bit guilty lying to Polly about how her meeting with Sarah went this morning, but she wasn't ready to go through the alternative truth with her best friend. She had to take it one day at a time and today she was feeling good about her progress. While they ate lunch, she told Polly about Alex needing to look for new premises and the contract they were all working to prepare for and Polly suggested Piper offered her services.

"Don't you want me at the store Pol?"

"It's not that. We just don't need both of us to be here all day with the amount of customers there are to deal with and it sounds like Alex could use all the help she can get. Even if you just do it for a few days until she gets more staff in."

"You're very pro Alex at the moment. You're making me nervous. Have you been dipping in her lady pond Pol, because there are some things I just won't share…."

"Gross."


	57. Chapter 57

**A/N: Ta-dah! 200k words ! Thanks for your support on each and every one of them - reviews and follows much appreciated along the way from every one of you. Hope you've all got nice plans for the weekend and can enjoy a little breakfast time / supper time reading with this little ditty. Have a great weekend guys and make sure you do something fun!**

Alex was running on high levels of caffeine and adrenaline by mid-morning as the clock ticked down for them to sign up for space. Lorna had emailed her the cost breakdowns to show how much they would take a hit if they had to fly most of the equipment over the Atlantic and Alex knew they wouldn't make anything at all on this first contract if they had to do that. It would prove they could deliver on time and look good for the next orders, but the investment they'd have to make would be coming out of the company instead of the contract payment to get them up and running. If they got the warehouse for the shipping transport arranged this weekend, she could use money from NY Logistics to cover it. If they had to do that and send a lot of the order by air, it would mean altering some of her other investments and she didn't want to have to do that in the current economic climate as she'd lose on some solid interest pay outs.

Lorna had got a lead on a company that was struggling over at Post Newark-Elizabeth Marine Terminal and called Alex to let her know.

"Jake's just been over there to make a delivery for a guy who works there and they got talking. Jake was saying we're crazy busy preparing for this new order and the guy asked if there were any jobs going. There's talk that the staff have been told about possible redundancies and I was thinking they might be willing to sub-contract if you can use their space Alex. I don't know how big they are in terms of the staff or the warehouse they've got over there, but it's worth a shot right?"

"Lorna, you could be an absolute fucking life saver with this. If they've got staff there already, all we need to do is get the containers loaded in their premises and use their staff to help get this thing on the road. Have you got the CEO contact information or anything? I'll give them a call and see if I can get a meeting right now."

"Let me do some digging and I'll text you the address so you can make your way over there while I find the contact information. "

"Perfect. Thanks Lorna. "

XXXXX

The session with Julie had gone quite differently to how Piper had imagined it to start in her mind. The night before, she had gone from feeling physically sick with dread at the prospect of reliving the nightmare for a third time that week to deciding she was cancelling first thing in the morning. Telling Alex had been one of the hardest things she had ever done and it had been far harder than talking to Sarah or Julie about it, as difficult as that conversation with Sarah had been. Apart from Alex losing it at the time, she also knew that her girlfriend felt guilty for knowing she was the one who ultimately put Piper into a place where the attack happened. There wasn't really anything she could do about that, but Alex was falling over herself to take care of Piper right now and as much as she might find that overbearing at times, she also needed it. It was impossible to imagine facing the counselling and angry feelings she had about the attack on her own.

Polly had given her an opportunity to try and do something in return for Alex by helping with the Rigoveri contract she was preparing for. Even if it meant all she could do was make everyone cups of coffee and do a lunch run to keep the troops fuelled, she could feel useful.

It was 3pm and Polly was in the back office going through invoices to look at the manufacturing costs of the last 3 months versus what stock they had at the moment. Piper walked to the doorway to interrupt her from tapping on the calculator app of her phone.

"Hey, Pol?"

"Yeah." Polly didn't look up.

"Were you serious about me helping Alex out for a few days earlier?"

"Yeah, it's not like I can't manage on my own here." Polly quickly raised her head and shrugged her shoulders.

"Because I've regularly left you on your own over the really busy weeks of Christmas you mean?"

"What? No. I wasn't being sarcastic. I'm just saying, you might as well help her out. She's helped us out enough…." Polly caught herself.

"Me. She's helped me out enough you mean."

Polly waived her hand dismissively. "You, me, us. Whatever. The point is, they need help, we have time. Unless you want to swap and I'll help out and you can stay here?"

"No. I want to help…..So would you mind if I went there now to see if I can help?"

"Go for it. I'll move these files to the front counter and carry on from there. Go on then."

Piper grinned and hugged her friend before putting her jacket on and heading towards the subway for NY Logistics. Walking the couple of blocks towards the offices, Piper saw that Alex's parking spot was empty. Maybe she should have called first to let her know she was coming over. It didn't matter as she could head inside and see who else was around though. She pushed the door open and headed upstairs to the office, where Nicky had a headset on and was talking animatedly to someone on a call.

"I don't give a shit that you promised your Mother a lift to the airport that day. You either want the job or you don't and it's sounding a lot like an 'I don't' to me right now. What's it to be 'cause I've got a queue of people behind you for these overtime hours….."

Piper knocked on the doorframe and waved at Lorna who was also wearing a headset. She took it off as Piper came inside.

"Hey Piper! What are you doing over here?" Lorna stood up to hug the blonde as she walked her over towards Alex's office and away from Nicky's call.

"Well, I wondered if you guys needed an extra pair of hands for anything actually. We're quiet at the store, so Polly said I could come over and see if you can put me to good use."

"Oh, that's so sweet!"

"Yo Blondie, I can think of a few ways to use those hands of yours." Nicky threw her headset on the desk and waggled her eyebrows.

"Oh really?"

"Really….." Nicky comically swayed her hips and sashayed towards Piper. "I hope you've warmed them up already Chapman. I don't like cold hands on my body."

"Oh please! Don't make out like you're even fussy, you'd be happy to have _any_ hands on your body Nicholls." Piper pulled her out of her sashay and hugged her warmly.

"Ooooh Chapman, I didn't know you were so handsy! You seriously have to stop touching my ass like that in front of Lorna though, she'll get embarrassed." Nicky stood back from the hug, grinning.

"I've worked with you long enough to stop blushing now Nick. So, you were probably hoping to see Alex right?"

"Yeah, I'm guessing she's still on the road though. Any idea what time she'll be back?"

"No idea. She's over in Newark at the moment. We're so close to the wire on this thing that we've got almost every person who works here on standby to use their own garage space for the stock from tonight. Alex must be wrecked by now."

"Shit….what can I help with? Do you need me to help you make calls? Move stuff? Drive anywhere?" Piper pushed her sleeves up and waited for instructions.

"Steady on Chapman, that sort of enthusiasm from a new starter makes me look bad. Calm your tits and give Poussey a hand outside clearing out the vans will you?"

"Tits being calmed Nicky. I'm on my way." Piper saluted and turned on her heel to head outside to find Poussey.

XXXXX

After receiving the CEO contact details for the company Lorna was talking about, Alex managed to arrange a meeting with the Contracts Manager initially. She headed to the address Lorna sent her and she pulled up outside a concertinaed metal door that was half opened. Popping her head inside, there was nobody around, so she called out a few times as she walked further inside the building.

The floor space was massive and half-filled with metal containers on one side, stacked on top of each other. She saw a light on down the bottom of the warehouse, so headed towards it. It reminded her of some of the creepy places she'd had to go to do deals for Kubra in years gone by, so she wasn't at all intimidated by the dark space or the group of men she found at the bottom end playing cards around a table.

"Hey, do you know where I can find Bill Turnbull?"

"Who's asking?"

"Alex Vause. I called to arrange a meeting with him today. Is he around?"

"Maybe." The guy shrugged and they went back to their card game.

"OK…maybe you can help me out a bit here. Like point me in the direction of his office or something?"

A guy from the back of the group broke away and nodded for her to follow him.

"Quicker if I show you. Bill doesn't hang our down here much and there's some high stakes in there."

"I see that. You haven't got much work on today I take it?"

"No. Only had one order to sort out and that went this morning. We're hoping to get a new contract today, so we might have some work tomorrow maybe. Sounds like it could be a big one too!" Alex chuckled at how someone could be so happy to have some work to do, before realising that Bill had probably excitedly told them that he might have work because Alex had asked for a meeting. It dawned on her that she could make or break jobs for the guys sitting around that table and she suddenly felt the weight of expectation beyond her own company.

"Well, I hope that works out for you then."

"That's just how it is around here these days." He shrugged and pointed her towards Bill's office door before turning and leaving. "He's in there."

"Cheers dude."

Alex knocked on the door and went inside to see a guy in his 50s with silver hair poring over a pile of paperwork.

"Hey, I'm Alex Vause. I called earlier?"

"Oh yes. Hi. Come on in. Let me clear this off for you and you can take a seat." He picked up a pile of papers off the chair opposite his desk and moved other piles to one side so they could see each other as he sat back down.

"Can I get you a coffee or anything Alex?"

"Oh, no thanks. I've had way too much already today and I need to let the caffeine settle right now." Alex smiled warmly to try and put the obviously nervous man at ease.

"So, um, what kind of stuff were you wanting us to help you move Alex?"

"Er…..well…I have got some options here that I'd like to discuss. But we might need your CEO to get on the line to go through the details. I'm primarily interested in your warehouse space as I have a logistics company in New York but we don't have enough space locally to cope with the space we need for a new contract we just won."

"That's kind of ironic, being that we have so much space because we lost out on a big contract we used to deliver recently."

Alex winced inside as she wondered whether it was the Rigoveri contract they just lost.

"Right. Well, maybe we can help each other out a bit here. I have a contract I need to get shipped ASAP. Like, literally, the trucks are on the road on their way to New York right now waiting for directions for where to put this stuff. I need space and I need manpower to help me get this gig up and running first thing in the morning."

"That's great! We can do that! You want me to work out some prices?"

"Well, yes and no. Look, I know you guys are struggling here and your boys are downstairs playing poker and waiting to see if they're gonna have a job in the morning. I wanted your warehouse and I wanted it like yesterday. But maybe we can do a deal where you work for me on this contract and everyone gets to keep their jobs. Basically, I'm looking for a competitive price where I pay your wages and the running costs for the warehouse while we deliver on this contract. Is that something we can put to your boss right now?"

XXXXX

Piper was In the back of one of the vans, brushing out the dirt when Lorna shouted her name all over the yard.

"Piper! Where are you girl?! Piper!"

"I'm here Lorna, where's the fire?" Piper laughed as she jumped down out of the back.

"She's done it! She's only gone and done it!"

"What? Done what? And who?" Piper was confused as Lorna was jumping up and down hugging her tightly.

"Alex! She's found a warehouse we can start using tomorrow!"

"Oh. Oh! That's great! What does that mean right now though?" Piper was excited, but also didn't know if the sweeping had to continue at this point.

"It means we're not going to need to use my cousin Vinnie's garage!" Lorna was already running off down the yard to pass the good news on, leaving Piper standing with her brush, perplexed. She climbed back into the van and finished the job off before doing another four vans. The physical labour felt good to work her muscles a little bit and her ribs seemed to be OK with this kind of movement at least. It wasn't running, but it was the closest she'd been to any sort of exercise for a while. She locked the last van up and took the keys back to Poussey in the store area.

"You all done there Piper?"

"Yep, all ship shape and ready for action now they are. That's the last one. What else do you need?"

"I think Alex got back a few minutes ago, so maybe you should go and ask the boss lady." Poussey nodded towards the upstairs office door.

"Great! I'll go up then. See you later."

Pushing the door open to the office upstairs, Piper was greeted by the sight of Alex's dark hair and back surrounded with the arms of a woman. When she stopped in her tracks and looked at the face of the owner of those arms, her eyes narrowed as Dannii eyed her straight back as she spoke into Alex's ear, not loudly enough for Piper to hear her. Alex chuckled at whatever she just said and leaned back as Piper cleared her throat.

"Pipes! You made it!" Alex grinned and dropped Dannii like a hot potato as she moved over to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek and hug her.

"I did. Just in the nick of time too." Piper was staring Dannii down over Alex's shoulder now. Dannii rolled her eyes in response.

"Dannii brought us all pizza, didn't you?" Alex tried to bring her into the conversation but Piper looked at the single box on Alex's desk behind her and snorted.

"One pizza isn't going to go much further than your desk I suspect." It was clearly meant for Alex to share with Dannii, who hadn't realised Piper would be here. "But the bottle of wine will go down nicely, thanks Dannii. Alex and I will enjoy this together later tonight. Maybe we can drink it in that nice big bath of yours hey Al?" Piper pecked her on the lips before striding over to pick both the pizza and the wine up and turning back to Alex, knowing Dannii's eyes were burning holes into the back of her head now.

"You've worked so hard today baby. Let me take you home to take care of you now. Looks like we don't even need to waste any time cooking since Dannii has brought this romantic meal for two. You ready babe?"

Alex shook her head. "Yeah, I am ready to go now. Are you OK to close up and start for 6 in the morning Nick?"

"Yep, we're all in at 6. Ready to start herding those trucks into the warehouse deal you aced. You big shot you." Nicky punched her on the arm and went to get her own coat.

Piper led Alex outside towards her car and they got into their seats, closing the doors behind them.

"So, what was all that about?"

"What?"

"You know exactly what."

"I just came around to help you guys is all. Can't a girlfriend be nice once in a while?"

"Sure. She can also be jealous over absolutely nothing too."

"She could. If there were nothing to be jealous of."

"Piper…..she just wanted to say thanks or whatever."

"The thanks I'm fine with. It's the whatever I don't like."

"Ugh. I'm too tired for this. My brain hurts so much." Alex started the car and they drove back to her place with Piper feeding her strips of pizza all the way. She hadn't eaten anything more substantial than a gas station snack all day, so the smell of the pizza was too much to wait.

Alex let them into her apartment and Piper took their bags and coats off her and went about closing the blinds down and putting some low lights on as Alex peeled her boots off. Piper sat down next to her to take her own shoes off.

"Do you mind if I take a shower? I feel like I'm wearing half the crap I brushed out the back of those vans."

"They had you cleaning out the vans? They wouldn't have dared give you that job if I'd have been there. "Alex chuckled a she stood up, holding her hand out for Piper to join her.

"I didn't mind. Honestly. It felt good just to know I was helping." Piper leaned into kiss Alex on the lips.

"OK. Well you go on ahead and get showered then. I'm just going to make a couple of calls to check things are all set with the trucks that are arriving first." Alex kissed the end of her nose and released her to go and get her phone charged.

Piper turned the shower on and undressed as the water warmed up. She could hear Alex talking to someone along the hallway in the kitchen and held her hand under the water to test the temperature. Walking beneath the pounding heat, Piper closed her eyes and let the water wash over her as she stood with her hands on the wall, enjoying the feeling of the jets on her back. Alex had a lovely strong shower and it was massaging Piper's aching muscles as she slowly moved her body under the heat to feel it against every inch of her sore back. She had no idea how long she'd been in there when she suddenly became aware of Alex watching her. She froze, suddenly feeling self- conscious and forced herself to open her eyes and look at Alex.

"I honestly only planned on coming in here to look for a tube of toothpaste, but I have to confess you distracted me." Alex held her hands up and smiled. "I'll beat a hasty retreat now." She turned to leave before Piper called out.

"No. It's OK. You just…caught me by surprise is all." Piper forced her limbs to not move to cover herself and continue showering as though she was relaxed about it. Alex stopped and half turned in the doorway. "Well, it looks like I've put the toothpaste in the utility room anyway, so I'd better try and track it down. Don't want to worry about cavities do we?" She smiled and closed the door behind her.

Alex had been thinking about joining Piper in the shower. Sex wasn't the first thing on her mind, though them showering together inevitably used to end up with delicious, aquatic orgasms. She wanted to feel the closeness of their naked bodies together under the water and get that physical connection with her girlfriend that she was desperately craving. She wanted to be able to run her hands over Piper's wet body and soothe her, to kneel before her and wash away the hurt and the pain of the past from every cell of her skin with her fingertips. She wanted them to not talk, for Piper to just feel the love that Alex had for her through her gentle and familiar caresses. Her body yearned to feel Piper's skin against it, to feel the goose bumps raise on it as Alex ran her thumb over her hips, the slipperiness of her skin as Alex soaped a cloth to cleanse her feet one toe at a time, kissing every part of her better as she moved methodically with the task of worshipping her girlfriend. Alex wanted that so badly as she stood in the dark utility room, feeling tears silently make their way down her cheeks. Every bone in her body wanted to go back into the bathroom and take care of Piper like that, but seeing her girlfriend stiffen in the water and try to force herself to allow Alex to see her naked form had damned near broken her heart.


	58. Chapter 58

**A/N: Thanks for all the positive messages about the last chapter, it was really good to see so many of you on the same page with the fact that intimacy is not going to be easy after one session with the rape counsellor. I'm going to be clear on this before you read ahead - Piper needs and wants love and affection - and she wants to give those things too. Feeling vulnerable and exposed in the shower without warning is a very different situation for her.**

 **This is only a short one, but I hope it sates those people who want a twice weekly update ;-)**

Alex was taking the warmed pizza out of the oven when Piper came into the kitchen wearing PJ's and towelling her hair dry.

"Hey."

"Oh, hey. Do you want some of this? You hardly got a look in when I was driving back earlier, you must be starving."

"It's OK. I'll have a slice thanks. I was going to get some water, do you want any?" Piper walked towards the unit where she knew the glasses were and Alex turned into her as she was getting a plate out.

"Sorry. Um, yes please." Alex avoided her eyes and focused her efforts on plating up the pizza and putting the TV on in the background to break up the tension in the room a little. Piper filled the glasses with some iced water and walked over to put them on the table next to the pizza and sat down on the sofa to grab a slice as she waited for Alex to join her.

"I'm just going to get a quick shower while you eat that." Alex said quickly as she went to her own bathroom upstairs.

"OK" Piper shouted after her and sat watching what looked like Terminator 2 on the TV with the rest of the pizza. When the credits were rolling and Piper realised that Alex still hadn't returned from her shower, she decided to go and look for her. She hadn't exactly planned on coming to stay over at her girlfriend's place tonight to just eat her food and watch TV on her own, so she wondered whether Alex had got carried away working again. Ducking her head around the doors on the main floor, it looked like she was still upstairs. Piper locked everything up and turned the lights off to head upstairs to find her.

"Al? Are you up here?" She called as she climbed the stairs to Alex's room. Rounding the corner, she found the brunette lay up against the pillows on the bed, papers sprawled over her lap and glasses at a jaunty angle on her face as she snored softly in an almost seated position. Walking over to gather up the papers, Piper could see photos on the top corners of some of the files and names. She must have been looking through employment files for some reason, though Piper didn't recognise anyone in the photos as she collected them all together to stack at the side of the wall. Alex was lay in her short black robe, which had fallen open slightly, revealing a cute black camisole top and silky shorts. As tempted as the blonde was to stand and observe her sexy as Hell girlfriend laying like that for a while longer, she knew Alex would want to be up again early in the morning to look after the new warehouse deliveries, so she took her glasses off gently and put them on the night stand before gently waking her.

"Come on babe, let's get you under these covers. You must be dead on your feet and still you won't stop working. Some things never change hey?" Piper pulled the groaning woman to her feet briefly as she lifted the covers up for her to immediately sink back inside them. Alex hadn't even opened her eyes, just responded robotically to Piper's commands and snuggled straight into the pillows. Piper wasn't actually tired, given everything that was whirring around in her mind from today's events, but she walked around the other side of the bed and climbed in anyway. She lay on her side, watching the dark haired woman sleep soundly next to her. She stroked the hair from her face and Alex didn't so much as stir, she was so dog tired. She tentatively stroked her fingertips across her cheek so as not to wake her or freak her out by being so close to her if she opened her eyes. She was breathing in a steady rhythm and was quickly into a deep sleep, even after being awoken by Piper putting her under the covers a few moments ago. She had clearly been under a lot of stress, with the expectations that winning this new Italian contract had brought, yet she had still been there for Piper to see Sarah and to help her on her way to see Julie too, despite all of the other pressures she was under. Feeling a stab of guilt for having assumed the worst over the meeting with John Peters as well, Piper rolled onto her back. Alex's room had a large window in the ceiling so she could watch the stars sparkling on this clear night as she lay there thinking about the rollercoaster that had become her life since Alex had reappeared in it. Piper had been constantly expecting the worst from her ex-girlfriend from the very moment she first laid eyes on her in that bar with Nicky and she'd been consistently wide of the mark every single time. Maybe she had to face the fact that she had major trust issues these days and she wondered whether that was something she should talk to Julie about next week. She lay there for a long time, mulling events over in her mind, before eventually forcing herself to employ some relaxation techniques she had learned to aid restful sleep. They mostly involved closing her eyes and consciously relaxing her muscles one at a time before feeling like she was floating. It took a couple of attempts, but eventually she made it to sleep just after midnight.

XXXXX

Alex woke with a jolt at 6am, feeling as though she had slept in already. She hadn't slept for much more than 4 hours regularly recently and having more than that felt as though she had already missed half of the day. She was about to scramble out of bed when she realised she wasn't alone in there and saw Piper still sleeping peacefully by her side. Realising she had probably been there all night and Alex hadn't been holding her now felt like it was a wasted opportunity, but Alex had a lot to do today and couldn't really lie in bed gawking at her sleeping beauty, much as she was sorely tempted to. She gently climbed backwards out of the covers and used the light from her phone to find some clothes so she didn't disturb Piper. Bundling her clothes up and finding the files she was looking at last night, Alex crept out of the room and down the stairs to get dressed. Running the tap to brush her teeth, she dialled Bill Turnbull's number to see if he was all set, brushing her teeth as it rang.

"Morning Bill. It's Alex…Yeah. Are you guys all set?...Uhuh…Right…..14 of them…yeah….I'll call by this afternoon then. You have my number if you need anything…..OK. See you then." Alex hung up and finished cleaning her teeth before heading into the kitchen to fire up her laptop and make some coffee. She was in the middle of a skype call to Italy when Piper came downstairs and caught her eye to make the universal sign for 'would you like another hot drink?' by waving her empty mug in front of her. Alex smiled and nodded as she carried on explaining the order the containers would be arriving in to someone who clearly wasn't understanding very well. Piper curled up on the sofa with Alex's copy of Alice in Wonderland and a mug of coffee as Alex continued her call. She was completely absorbed in the story when Alex appeared behind her and planted a kiss on top of her head.

"Good morning. I hope I didn't wake you with my repeated spelling of the word 'straighteners'?" She budged Piper over on the cushion to sit beside her so they could both stretch their legs out.

"No, I woke up and wondered where you were. I should have known you'd be working again."

"Well, I've got to-" Piper held her hands up to stop Alex's defence.

"I'm not even going to try and tell you that you shouldn't be working on a Saturday, don't worry. I've learned over many years that you wouldn't listen if I did and I know how important it is for you to get this contract sorted out. Do not worry. My lips are sealed." Piper punctuated the end of the sentence with a kiss to Alex's lips.

"I have to say, I wasn't expecting that. Lewis Carroll must be chilling you out, so by all means carry on. Do you want some breakfast? I can make you some….pancakes, or toast?" Alex was about to get up when Piper pulled her back down.

"Nu-uh. I can do that." Piper sat up onto her knees on the sofa and pulled Alex to sit back against the upright before putting her knee over her legs to straddle her lap.

"Before I do that, I wanted to say that I'm really proud of what you've done with this new contract." Piper cupped Alex's cheeks in her palms and brushed her thumbs along her cheek bones. "You've worked so hard to get this business up and running and I know you've been barely sleeping to get everything organised." Alex smiled up at her, feeling a lump in her throat at the sudden emotion she was feeling at the praise. She wasn't someone who did anything for praise or reward and it felt a little pathetic that it meant so much to her to hear Piper say these words to her now. "Those girls love working for you and you're so good with them all. You always lead by example and give 100% to everything you do…..So, I just wanted to say that I think you're amazing Alex Vause and even better than that, you're mine." Piper leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips. Alex put her fingers into the hair at the base of Piper's head and pulled her girlfriend into a longer kiss, their lips moving sensually against each other and Alex's fingers mussing up the blonde hair as she gently massaged her neck and scalp as they kissed. Alex moved her other hand to base of Piper's back and pulled her closer still, her arm surrounding her into a tight embrace as she held onto her girlfriend. Piper moved her fingers through Alex's hair and sought to deepen their kiss by pressing her lips more forcefully against her girlfriends, running the tip of her tongue across Alex's lower lip every so often but not pushing inside her lover's mouth. As she pulled Piper more tightly against her to press out any space between their torsos, Alex broke the kiss off to press the side of her face against the blonde's chest, breathing her in. Piper stroked Alex's hair around her ears as she rested her chin on top of her dark locks and soothed her other hand up and down Alex's back.

Piper moved to press her lips against top of Alex's head and breathed in the warm smell of her hair as she rested there, while Alex moved to wrap both arms around Piper's back to hold her as closely as she could, pressing an occasional kiss onto Piper's collarbone.

"God I've missed you." Alex finally breathed out into Piper's t-shirt, where she was snuggled as close as she could get. Piper chuckled as she repeatedly kissed the top of Alex's head.

"I've missed you too."

"Can we just stay here like this for the rest of the day?" Alex was breathing every breath through the fabric of Piper's t—shirt with her nose and speaking so her lips brushed the material against Piper's skin with their movement.

"That sounds like a great idea. Fuck it, let's stay like this all week." Piper grinned into the dark hair as she pulled Alex closer.

"Mmmmm, I'd like that." Alex nuzzled her nose between Piper's breasts and kissed her softly against her top.

"I totally would, but my knees are starting to complain about the sudden extension to their shift already. I've negotiated a 5 minute consultation period right now though."

"Such a democratic leader Pipes. I do love that about you."

"Mmm, let's see if you love my cooking skills just as much when I make you the perfect toast and coffee combo in 4 minutes and 30 seconds."

"I'm sure I will. Although whether I'll like it as much as the warm up remains to be seen." Alex moved her hands lower onto Piper's ass and squeezed her cheeks quickly before stroking her hands up and down Piper's back.

"I think you might be unfairly biased to certain skillsets here." Piper tried to lean back to look at Alex, but the brunette pulled herself back into Piper's chest, not wanting to break their contact.

"Give the people what they want I say."

"There doesn't seem to be room here for anyone else. You've squeezed all the gaps out." Piper chuckled.

"Good. I want to keep it that way. Mmmm, you smell so good." Alex pressed her face into Piper's t-shirt again. Piper smiled and inhaled Alex's hair again.

"Mhmm, and so do you babe. But maybe it's a good thing we decided to not do this all week, because that wouldn't be the case by the end of the week I think."

"I disagree. I love the smell of you all the time. When you just woke up, when you eat garlic bread, when you've been running-"

"Ew, Alex! That's gross!" Piper leaned back to recoil in disgust and once again Alex pulled her back flush to her torso.

"Hey, I've still got 4 minutes yet!"

"Stop trying to cheat. You've only got 2 and a half now."

"What?! Where was my minute counter? I think you've lost count already. You'd better start again to be sure." Alex grinned and nipped at Piper's breast through her top quickly and growled.

"Oh no. I'm not facing union action on account of your underhand tactics to get a time extension. These are not extenuating circumstances Ms Vause."

"I've lost my trail of thought now. You could at least put the timer on hold until I find my place again. Where was I? Here?" Alex moved her hands back to grab Piper's ass.

"Hahahaha! Alex! No!" Piper pushed back on Alex's arms so she could see her girlfriend, dipping her head to capture her lips in a kiss before Alex could pull herself back into her chest again.

"Mmmmmm…..You're…..distracting…me again…." Alex spoke against Piper's lips as Piper grinned into their kiss.

"Totally…..unashamedly….distracting…" They melted into a lazy kiss again and Piper moved her hands to cup Alex's face in her hands as she felt Alex's hands soothe over her back.


	59. Chapter 59

**A/N: I can't believe what a bunch of softies you lot are! That short chapter I posted last time got more reviews than any other - you're the collective noun for candy floss you are ;-) So, to confirm for those people who asked... No "I love you" has been uttered in 58 chapters and yes, that is a bit strange to say when neither of them fell out of love with the other in their heart of hearts. A weekend update for you here though (am I also turning to candy floss from your fluffy reviews?). We've got over 500 reviews for this now, so I'm really chuffed with that and thanks to all of you who do take the time to write a little ditty when I post. Have a great weekend you giant fluff balls! ;-)**

Piper made breakfast while Alex made calls. Lorna and Nicky were working on making sure the team over at Bill's were organised, with Nicky being over at the Newark site and Lorna co-ordinating the trucks from their own offices. Most of the team were keen on the overtime hours for the weekend anyway, so Alex had most of the staff in to make sure the shipments were secure and in containers by the end of the day. On the third call to Nicky that morning, Alex was about to check on the buildings and contents insurance small print with her when Nicky cut her off.

"Stop talking Vause. Is Chapman there?"

"What? Yes, Piper's here. What's that got to do with-"

"Put her on the phone will you?"

"She's making coffee."

"She went to College, I'm sure can handle it. Pass me over."

Silence.

"Would you rather I hang up and switch my phone off?"

"Fine, but I want you to answer my question when you're done. And don't forget I'm here, so I can hear you flirting with her."

"Whatever. Bye." Alex handed the phone over to Piper as she took over from pouring the coffee out.

"She wants to talk to you. Pass her back to me when you're done though because she is avoiding answering my question on insurance." Alex said with all seriousness. Piper wiped her hands on a towel and took the handset off her.

"Hey Nicky. Are you calling me in for overtime hours 'cause I could use the money actually."

"Well good morning blondie! Yes I am, but I have an assignment for you. Vause is going to be buzzing around me all day unless you keep her busy. We've got more than enough people around here to sort these deliveries out today and her keep calling and worrying is going to put everyone on edge. These guys used to do the Rigoveri contract and they know this order like the back of their hands already, so I'm basically here to fucking look pretty right now. She's going to insist on coming over here to count it all out or something just to see it with her own eyes, but if you have something planned, she can't stay in my hair for too long. "

"OK….But you know she will only worry if she isn't there." Piper looked at Alex and shrugged as Alex raised her eyebrows, clearly understanding exactly what Nicky was trying to do.

"Help me out here blondie, please!"

"How about, we stop by today and see how things are going and then call for an update at the end of the day? Anything in between, you can call and Alex will promise not to call you?" Piper and Alex were arguing over the terms of the agreement with their eyes as Nicky mulled over the offer. Alex's face saying nowhere near enough supervision from her and Piper's saying she wasn't budging from her already generous concession.

"OK, deal. But no calls throughout the day, right."

"That's the deal. Now, are you going to answer the insurance question if I hand you back?"

"No, I'll answer it when she comes round here later." Nicky hung up before she could protest and Piper handed the phone back to Alex.

"She's hung up hasn't she?"

"Yes, but don't call her back. You know she won't pick up anyway. Come and eat some breakfast."

"If we don't have the insurance levels right on this thing…."

"Nicky is going to go through that with you later. I said we'd call round and see how things were going later today. You don't need to keep calling if you're going over there, right?" Piper put a plate of toast and scrambled eggs in front of her and took a seat at the breakfast bar next to her.

"Now eat. I'm going to continue Alice in Wonderland while you make your list of questions for later, then I want some of your undivided attention for a couple of hours, OK?"

Alex was about to protest, then changed her mind when she realised that Piper just said she was spending the day with her. It had been a long time since they had spent the day together, even if Alex was going to be worrying about work.

"OK." Alex tried to hide her goofy grin, but seeing Piper smiling into her book, it only got bigger.

Piper went to get washed and changed when Alex said she was almost done, returning half an hour later wearing skinny blue jeans and a v-neck sweater, her hair tied up into a high pony.

"Ready when you are Al. I thought we could head down to the park for a while and get some fresh air since it's so nice outside."

Alex was finishing up an email and answered without looking up. "Yeah, sounds good." Piper filled the dishwasher while she was waiting and packed her stuff into her overnight bag, putting it by the door.

"You're not staying tonight?" Alex was puzzled and more than a little disappointed.

"Well, I only brought clothes for one night…and I didn't want to overstay my welcome."

"You can stay as long and as often as you like. Are you working tomorrow?" Alex pulled her boots on and searched for her keys as she picked up her coat.

"Er, no I don't need to be in the store tomorrow. Polly said I can help you out for a few days. I guess technically that doesn't mean she agreed to me strolling around the park while she works, but I think she might be glad to get me out of her hair for a while."

"Well I quite like you being in my hair. You're like a must have hair accessory." Alex pulled her into a warm embrace by the door and kissed her neck. "We can stop by your place and you can grab some more clothes and stay over again. Or I'll stay at yours if you prefer?"

"OK, I'll stay here since you're working a bit still. You sure that's OK?"

Alex chuckled. "Yeah, I'm sure."

They spent a couple of hours walking around the park, stopping in a little café by the river and Alex even handed her phone over after being caught sneakily trying to text Nicky within the first 10 minutes of them being out of the apartment.

"So, how do you feel after your appointment with the rape counsellor yesterday?" Alex ventured after a while. Piper hadn't mentioned it at all since she called after the appointment yesterday, so Alex wanted to see if she was worrying about the next meeting.

"Fine I guess. It wasn't anything like I was expecting and it was very relaxed. I can have more or less sessions if I want and she said she won't force me to talk about anything I don't want to, so I feel like there's less pressure."

"I guess a lot has happened in the last 7 days hasn't it?" Alex took Piper's hand in hers and put it into her pocket to keep their hands warm as they walked back into the cold air of the park footpath.

"Yeah. It's been too much at times, especially keeping it from Polly as well. I feel like I'm living multiple lives sometimes."

"Do you feel like that when you're with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, do you feel like you have to act differently when you're with me? Like put the WASPY 'everything is fine' face on when really you don't feel that way I suppose….Because you should know that you really don't need to Pipes. "

"Thanks. I'm fine though, really." Piper squeezed Alex's hand to reinforce the statement, but it didn't go unnoticed by the brunette that she hadn't really answered the question.

"So do you want to pick up some stuff from your place now or when we get back from Newark?"

"Let's do it on the way back and then you can stop patting your back pocket down like you've lost something."

"I thought I was being sneaky." Alex laughed as they turned and headed back towards her apartment for the car. They made their way over to the warehouse in Newark in not time at all.

Piper opted to stay in the car so she didn't get caught in the middle of any arguments between Nicky and Alex over the plans for the weekend work, but an hour later her phone was out of battery and she was bored. She got out of the car and wandered towards the door that she saw Alex walk through earlier, looking around for any signs of familiar faces. Walking further inside, there were lots of voices over the far end of the warehouse but she couldn't see anybody from here. It was a bit dark, but she followed the sound and found a group of men stood around someone talking at the front and illustrating a point on a whiteboard at the front of them.

"…so red markers go into the smaller containers here and get transferred to this section when it's full. Otherwise you're crossing over the team filling the blue containers over here and they've got some heavy shit you don't want to get dropped on your head. If you do it this way, you can be done in less time and you're not in each other's way….." Piper could clearly hear Nicky's voice at the front of the group and to be fair, she kept everyone's attention for the most part.

"Yo! Hulk Hogan at the back there….yeah you. Anyone else around here dressed like a 90's wrestler?" There was a titter from the crowd at the back at the expense of a tall guy wearing a bandana over his head. "You might want to pay attention to this part because it means you won't be suffering a KO in the early rounds, so please let me finish this speech will you?" Nicky waited for an acknowledgement before she continued.

Piper stood to the side and saw a completely different side to Nicky as she gave out the instructions before letting a stocky guy in his 50's take over, reading out some names from a clip board and setting up the work groups.

Nicky spotted Piper leaning against a filing unit by the wall and made her way over to see her, grinning.

"Hey Chapman. How's the interference going?"

"It's going just fine thanks Nicky. Although I seem to have lost my mark. Where's Alex?"

"She's right here. Nice job there Nic, couldn't have said it better myself." Alex came up behind them and slapped Nicky on the back.

"Why thanks Boss. I had a good teacher." Nicky winked.

"Damned right you did. Bill seems OK with what you've proposed here, so it looks like you've got this now right?"

"Sure do. Which means you are excused to go home and plait each other's hair for the rest of the day….And yes, I promise I will call you if there are any problems."

"Alright. I'm going to trust you on that then. You're running this Nic, so tell me now if you aren't comfortable taking point here."

"Totally fine with it. Bill's guys know the merchandise, they just need to follow a different way of working. Bill will help me keep them right I'm sure. He's a top guy. Are you heading over to see Lorna as well or are you done spying for the day yet? C'mon Chapman, use your charms on her."

Piper laughed before taking Alex by the arm. "On that excellent advice, are you ready to go? I still need to head home yet."

"Yeah, let's get out of here. Call me later Nic, I want a progress report at the very least before everything shuts down OK?"

"Yeah, I will. See you guys later. Go!"

Piper asked Alex to stop by a Wholefoods store so she could pick something up for Polly and drop it off for her lunch. She still felt guilty for leaving her best friend on her own today and wanted to check Polly was still OK with it because she had an appointment with Sarah again on Monday. They called into the store together and Piper was happy to see several customers milling around with little baskets of their products. She turned to Alex, grinning at the fact the store was busy for the first time since Christmas.

"Can you hold this stuff a minute while I see if Pol needs a hand Al?"

"Yeah, go for it."

Piper helped the customers milling around the store to pick up some matching products to complement their tastes and put their order through the till when Polly was done with the other customers at the counter who were ordering some gift sets to be delivered.

"God Pol, it's so good to see a few more people in here. Has it been like this all day?"

"Yeah actually, it has. I think you might be scaring people away. I hope you're not staying long?" Polly deadpanned and Piper stuck her tongue out.

"Actually, I came by to feed you and see if you want me to come in tomorrow?"

"No, you're good. How's that Italian contract going Alex?"

"So far, so good. Nicky and Lorna seem to have it under control and Piper has dragged me away from spying on them for now. Nicky's over at the Newark place we've got subcontracting ordering them all around."

"It's so weird seeing Nicky all business like in front of all those guys back there. It makes me feel like we are just playing at shop in comparison Pol. She just did this great logistics whiteboard speech, totally unlike the Nicky I've ever seen." Piper said whistfully.

"I know, she's pretty good at coming across like she's all relaxed about things, but underneath she's got her eye on what's really happening. You guys are doing just fine. Don't forget how long you've been open and you're doing it on your own. You're still learning remember." Alex stroked her hand up and down Piper's arm as she put the lunch on the counter.

"I know. I just feel like we've got so much to learn and I don't know if we'll ever get there some times." Piper sighed.

"You still have John's number?" Alex asked.

Piper felt guilt prickle over her at the mention of John Peters while Polly was there. She felt like a complete dick for cancelling that meeting now and they would probably never be allowed through the door after she cancelled on him at short notice.

"Yeah. I think that bridge might be a bit scorched now though…."

"Scorched?" Polly raised a knowing brow at her.

"OK, I stomped over it with a flame thrower. The point is, I have the number, but I don't think I'd get an answer."

Alex shot a quick look at Polly, questioning how long she was planning to let Piper stew in guilt.

"So….how are your joinery skills for building one?" Polly was doing her best stern face and Piper was obviously squirming under her definitely OTT glare.

"Pol, I don't know OK. I promise I'll go through every agency in the book until I find someone to meet with us. I'll do it this afternoon in fact." She looked at Alex apologetically. Alex chewed the inside of her cheek and raised her eyebrows at Piper's cancelling of their afternoon together. As Piper turned back to Polly, Alex glared a warning at Polly to not take it too far.

"I'll make a list and call as many as I can today and then I'll do it again all day tomorrow. I know I fucked up OK?!"

"You did. And it's a start I suppose." Polly shrugged, clearly wanting to get as much mileage out of this as possible as she opened the bag to get a salad box out for her lunch.

"Alright. I'll get right on it." She turned to Alex. "Sorry, I guess it means you don't have to wait for Nicky to call you this afternoon though since I'll be working anyway." Piper smiled apologetically as Polly grinned at Alex over her shoulder. The brunette clenched her jaw and pulled her phone out of her pocket.

"Why don't you just try John first before you go anywhere else?" Alex offered her phone.

"I honestly don't think he'll want to bother with us now Al."

"Yeah, flame thrower Chapman remember?" Polly added, deliberately stirring even more.

"Would you just call him please? You don't know unless you try right?" Alex might have been more willing to join in with taking the joke further, but she knew what a shitty week her girlfriend had been through and Polly didn't, so she didn't want her feeling bad about this.

"Here, I'll get his number up…..It's ringing." Alex handed the phone to a mortified Piper who hadn't prepared an excuse or an opening for the call. She took the phone quickly and walked to the back of the store, away from the waiting eyes of Polly and Alex as she stuttered her excuses. While Piper spoke to John, Alex shook her head at Polly.

"What? Come on, it was funny! You gave up too soon there. We totally could have strung that out for at least another week." Polly munched a forkful of lettuce.

"Yeah and totally ruined her weekend off and mine for that matter. I don't see how that would be funny for me in any way." Alex rolled her eyes.

"Well, I think she learned a lesson anyway."

"Yeah, just don't forget the shit she has been through though." Alex smiled as Piper walked back towards them on the phone still.

"….OK, thank you so much John! I really appreciate that. Thanks. Bye!" Piper was careful to make sure the phone was hung up properly before she burst into tears and threw herself into a shocked Alex's arms.

Alex glared at Polly as she held Piper close to her and let her sob her heart out.

"He…said…..it was OK…..He was so nice Alex…." She sniffed between sobs, tears wetting Alex's coat as she gripped her sleeves with balled fists. "You called him…told him…"

"Hey, it's OK. I said he'd be fine didn't I? He's a really nice guy, honestly. Shhh, there's no need for this." Alex soothed her as Polly looked on, clearly feeling incredibly guilty now.

The door opened and a couple of customers walked in. "Hey, let's go into the back room." Alex walked her into the store room and closed the door behind them.

"I'm sorry Alex, I just…." Piper tried to pull away and wipe her eyes.

"No. You know what? This is well fucking overdue." Alex pulled her back into her chest. "You stay right here and cry your God-damned heart out Pipes. You needed this." Alex remained silent and soothed her hand over Piper's back as the blonde broke into more sobs. She could sense Piper's legs weakening and helped them both to sit on the floor, pulling Piper into her lap and cradling her against her shoulder as she sniffed and heaved.


	60. Chapter 60

**A/N: Hey! What have I got in store for you this time then? Angst? Fluff? Drama? Suspense? Those of you who want to revert to the well-worn paperback need to make your decision right now on whether you're closing your eyes and waiting or ripping the pages open...Time's up! Hope you like ;-)**

Piper sank into Alex's chest, burying her face in her shirt and feeling her tears soak into the material as she pressed her cheeks into it. Alex's arms wrapped around her tightly, pulling her close so that she felt soothed by the simple feeling of her girlfriend breathing steadily against her. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was letting go of all of the pretence and control she had built up to protect herself from the world and it seemed that once that first chink broke the seal, the emotion couldn't be stopped. It cascaded from her as a river of hurt and pain and was absorbed by her girlfriend's top as she sat there pouring her heart out. Her instincts were always to save face and maintain a smile or a stoic resolve in the face of adversity and it was a method that had worked for her for her whole life. In fact, it had been an essential part of her surviving incarceration at Litchfield and without it, her experience there would have been much worse. The overwhelming helplessness she was feeling at the moment had probably been building since Alex asked her to carry that suitcase of money all those years ago. That had been the start of her losing control if she had to put her finger on it. The start of her bending to another person's whim and placing herself knowingly into a situation she had no control over. She hadn't noticed it at first because she didn't even know what was in the case in terms of the sheer size of the deal she was transporting. But once she had agreed to that, Alex saw that she could manipulate her emotions to help her out of a tight spot until Piper was finally pushed further than she was willing to go for someone who was falling deeper and deeper into the drug operation and wouldn't walk away from it. Her girlfriend had been power hungry and Piper had been blinded by her adoration of that persona. Yes, since that point she had allowed herself to become a God-damned victim in life. She didn't feel resentment towards Alex at this moment, only frustration and anger at how much she had lost control of her life. There were no words spoken in the cold store room and Piper didn't feel under any pressure to break the silence as she lay in her lover's lap. Alex moved her fingers slowly over the material of Piper's sweater as though she were lulling her to sleep. They lost track of time as they sat in that position, the noises of the store behind them as customers came and went drifting into the background. Eventually, Piper's breathing slowed and her heaving subsided as the river ran dry. After laying still for a while and gathering herself back into some sort of order, she wiped her face with the arm of her sleeve and leaned back from Alex a little. As she didn't move to get up, Alex pulled her back against her gently and kissed the top her her head.

"You ok?" Alex spoke softly into her hair.

"Think so."

Alex stroked her hair with her left hand and pulled her thighs against her body as they continued to sit on the floor. The position was anything but comfortable, but the feeling of her girlfriend needing her comfort and finally letting her walls down was far more important to the taller woman.

"I've wet your shirt, sorry." The blonde ran her fingers over the damp patch she had left.

"Really? I hope you didn't shrink it with a hot wash. It's one of my favourites after all." Alex spoke into the blonde hair nestled into her neck.

"To be honest, there's a fair amount of snot mixed in there too, so I think another wash might be in order anyway."

"That's not my preferred detergent, so I agree a rinse might be best. It's the thought that counts though, right?"

Piper laughed a little. "I'm glad you think so."

Alex leaned her face back a little and lifted Piper's chin so she could see her properly, running her thumbs over Piper's cheeks to wipe away the remaining tears. "You are what counts." She leaned down to kiss the end of her nose. Piper smiled and tucked her face back into Alex's neck again. She moved her arms around Alex's waist and squeezed her to her body, wanting to stay right there, but sensing that Alex must be uncomfortable sitting on the hard floor with Piper on her lap.

Polly knocked lightly on the door and opened it a crack to poke her head through the small gap.

"Just wanted to check you were OK in here... Piper?" The blonde reluctantly pulled away from Alex's embrace and stood up to straighten out her limbs again.

"I'm OK. Sorry, I don't know what came over me Pol." She walked towards her friend to hug her. "Must be my hormones."

"Piper it's fine, really. You're perfectly entitled to a meltdown. The couple that came in as you did bought a chunk of gift boxes because i told them you were upset that the chamomile range wasn't selling and it was all your idea."

"Pol! That's an awful thing to say!" Piper chuckled, but it was quite devoid of any humour as she released her friend and Alex stood up from the floor.

"We can't afford morals. Maybe you could make it a daily routine?...Kidding! Seriously though, I'm sorry for messing with you about cancelling the meeting with John. I didn't realise you felt so bad about it." Polly looked into Piper's eyes so her friend could see genuine remorse for causing Piper to feel so hopeless suddenly.

"Forget it, it was stupid. Honestly, I'm just hyper sensitive at the moment Pol. They've set a date for the court case for Darryl, which means I'll be called as a witness. The thought of going back to court just brings it all back you know?" Piper shrugged, but Polly hugged her tightly again.

"Fuck Piper, why didn't you say anything? When is it?"

"Four weeks away yet. Anyway, I'm sorry for the mini breakdown - and less sorry for the increase in sales."

"Have you told your parents? About the court date being set?" Polly pressed, sensing this was a much bigger issue than Piper was letting on.

"Not yet. I'm still getting my head around it. I will though. I promise. Don't say anything will you?"

"I won't. Are you talking to Sarah about it?"

"Yeah, she knows. Her pen is constantly poised for me having a breakdown anyway, so she'd be gutted to have missed this."

"Pipes, I don't think she's actually hoping for tears to be fair." Alex chipped in from behind her, chiding her flippant jibe at the therapist.

"Yeah, you say that. I'm sure I saw a breakdown bingo grid at the back of her notebook last week...Joke!" Piper rolled her eyes at the distinct lack of humour from either of her companions.

"Your sense of humour gets a little warped by your hormones does it? Now...as much as it's been entertaining to have you here this afternoon, you're supposed to be taking time off. Is this how you planned to spend your day off Alex?" Polly looked over Piper's shoulder to change the subject.

"It wasn't meant to be a day off actually, but Nicky and Lorna seem to have work under control as far as I can tell. I haven't had any calls for a while though, so I might just call and see if they are managing -."

"No. Absolutely not. We got sidetracked I admit, but you promised to not call now we've been to see Nicky. Let's go to my place as planned. Come on, before Polly puts me behind the counter."

"As you wish princess, lead the way." Alex bowed theatrically and nodded some reassurance to Polly as Piper went ahead of them out of the room.

They drove to Piper's apartment in a comfortable silence, with Piper looking out of the window. Alex wasn't going to push her to keep talking, but she could already sense that Piper was carrying less tension in her body as a result of letting some of her emotions out. Piper let them into the apartment and Alex sat on the sofa while she went into the bathroom and freshened up, washing her face and splashing her skin with cool water. Her eyes were puffy and red, even if the tears were dry. She felt like she needed to change into fresh clothes if nothing else and she was in her room with the door closed over when she heard Alex outside knocking.

"Everything OK Pipes?" The brunette didn't come in, figuring the door was closed for a reason so she stood outside and talked through the wood.

"Yeah, I won't be long. Do you want to get a coffee or anything while you wait?"

"No, I'm good. Just seeing if you needed anything is all. I'll wait in the kitchen though, take your time."

Piper changed quickly on hearing Alex outside, afraid that the brunette might come in while she was undressed. It seemed ridiculous to worry about her girlfriend seeing her naked, but Piper's reactions couldn't be helped and she was quickly wearing a fresh pair of jeans and buttoning up a clean shirt. She sat to put her socks on and thought how silly it seemed now that the marketing meeting was the straw that broke the camel's back today. She had been studiously maintaining her walls with every new curveball that came her way and that was the one that broke them down. She finished packing her bag and opened the door to make her way to see Alex leaning in the kitchen table as she looked at her phone. As she dropped her bag by the door, Alex looked up to see her girlfriend was changed.

"How are you feeling babe?"

"Good, yeah. Ready when you are."

"Cool. Let's go then."

They drove to Alex's place with the radio playing in the background and Alex telling Piper about how she got to know John Peters, since she'd only told Polly the story previously.

"So John's brother is the guy who left all those boxes outside in the rain a few weeks ago?"

Alex laughed. "Yes, I suppose so. I'm sure we reimbursed you for those by the way."

"Oh you did. I'm not looking for compensation. I also thought he was sending me chocolates at one point." Piper chuckled as Alex looked totally perplexed. "Never mind. Long story."

They got back to Alex's place and Piper dropped her bag by the door and shrugged her coat off.

"Why don't you catch up with Nicky and Lorna and find out how everything went today? I'll see what you've got in the cupboards and make some dinner while you do that, then you can relax for a bit hey?"

"Would you mind? I promise not to be too long. I'm just a bit worried that neither of them have called all day and I can't help but feel like they are hiding some major catastrophe..." Alex hung her jacket on the hook and threw her keys into the table before giving Piper a quick peck on the cheek. She picked up her laptop and phone charger, taking everything into the dining room so Piper could listen to some music while she was in the kitchen. It was almost 2 hours later when Alex finally felt like all of her questions had been answered and it genuinely seemed like everything had gone well today. Finding that company to subcontract at short notice had been a real help in the circumstances, especially since they knew the contract already. She had been so sure that there would be a major flaw, that it unnerved her to not find one.

"Hey, everything sorted?" Piper went to take their plates out of the oven as she'd been keeping their food warm until Alex was finished.

"I think so. Either that or Nicky has been a child actress in a former life because she's an amazing liar. They got most of it done today, so it's just mopping up tomorrow. Everyone wants in on the overtime, so I'd be a spare part I think if you want to go some place tomorrow?" Alex took a seat where Piper had set the places at the breakfast bar since Alex's paperwork was covering the dining table.

"That would be nice actually. And I'm sure Nicky and Lorna would tell you if they suspected any problems, really Alex."

"Mmmm, is that spaghetti bolognese?"

"Sure is. Not as good as your Mom's, but I still try and follow the same recipe. I never have quite matched it in all these years of trying." Piper smiled as she put the plate in front of Alex. "Did you want some wine? I'm just going to have water, but I can open a bottle for you if you like?"

"I'm not opening one just for me. That's the third time you've had water instead of wine this week. Are you giving up completely?" Alex began tucking into her meal with gusto as she was starving.

"I don't think I'm going tee total if that's what you mean, but I was drinking too much before. I'm just trying to not have any at all until I can trust myself not to go overboard. At the moment, I don't think one bottle would be enough, so I just want to avoid it right now. Don't let that put you off though."

They enjoyed their meal, eating every morsel while they talked about the other great recipes that Alex's Mom had made that they had enjoyed together years ago. Piper always felt guilty that she had enjoyed so many nice meals in Alex's family home as her girlfriend, whilst Alex hadn't so much as been introduced to her family. She didn't even exist as far as they had been concerned at the time, let alone be welcome to join them for a sit down meal and share recipes. The chances of that happening when they already knew Alex as the girl who 'made her' commit a crime and then turned her over to the law to save her own skin...No, there were no cosy family dinners on the agenda for the immediate future as far as Piper reckoned.

"Pipes that was awesome and I'm sure my Mom would have been proud." Alex stood to clear the table, suddenly feeling a little awkward at mentioning her Mom so much and Piper joined her, taking the condiments away.

"I'm sorry I left you that day Al. I'll never forgive myself for not being there for you when you lost your Mom." Piper spoke, watching Alex carefully as she said the words to check her reaction. Alex carried on tidying and didn't say anything.

"It was a selfish and heartless thing to have done, I know that now. I've known it for a long time. If I could turn back time and change-"

"We can't change the past Pipes. There would be a Hell of a lot we'd both change in that chequered past we have. There have been times when I'd have changed ever going into that bar and meeting you for the first time, just to save the daily feeling of having my heart ripped out when I woke up realising you weren't there any more. I wouldn't have asked you to join me when I travelled for work, never asked you to carry that money to Brussels, never mentioned your name to the police, never put you in prison, then you'd never have been raped. If we're talking about regrets and changing the past, there's so fucking much I'd need to re-do differently and I have no guarantee that I'd be sitting here with you right now if I'd changed all of those things."

"I know. You're right, we've not exactly covered ourselves in glory have we?"

"Hell no."

"I just wanted you to know that I have regretted leaving you that day from pretty much landing at the airport from the flight that broke us up. Regretted not being there when you needed me the most when your Mom died and regretted leaving the love of my life in order to live a life of fucking misery mostly." Piper stepped towards Alex and pushed her dark hair behind her ear so she could clearly see her green eyes looking back at her and know she was listening. Alex pulled away, suddenly claustrophobic from the touch and the subject matter combined. It was hard enough maintaining a normal conversation about her Mom and it had been enjoyable to talk about her with someone who knew and liked the woman she loved and missed so much. But now, the apology was too much. As much as she had yearned to hear those words from Piper for years already, she was suddenly not prepared for them. Avoiding Piper's eyes, she re-sorted the bottom tray of the dishwasher to keep her head bowed as she tried to get her emotions in check.

"I'm sorry. I didn't...I just wanted to tell you...I'm just sorry Alex. I really am. I didn't mean to upset you..." Piper was wringing her hands helplessly as she fumbled to find the right words. It seemed like the right time to say sorry and she really wanted Alex to know how bad she had felt about what happened. Watching Alex move everything around the tray several times over, Piper was at a loss for how to fix this and reached out to the brunette, placing a hand on her back.

"Alex..."

"I know alright. I hear you. I do... I just can't hear this right now." Alex didn't stand up or turn around to talk, but her words were almost a whisper from her lungs, avoiding her voice box completely as they clawed their way out of her mouth. "Not now. Please let's not do this right now." She finally lifted her face to the ceiling, sighing heavily as she sought to expel the emotion into the air instead of speak it. It had been an emotionally charged week already and with Piper finally letting her through her defences only hours ago, there was way too much emotional baggage to effectively deal with and Alex didn't trust herself to deal with everything in the right way when she was tired and focused on taking care of Piper right now. Aware that Piper was standing awkwardly by her side, Alex blinked her eyes clear and reached out to pull the blonde into a tight embrace without meeting her eyes. "I can't deal with that day right now Pipes. Can we just be in the here and now, just us?" Alex's voice was barely a whisper as she forced the words out while holding back her emotions.

Piper wrapped her arms around her back and soothed them up and down her muscles, relieved that Alex hadn't frozen her out. "We can do that. The here and now sounds like exactly where I want to be." She kissed Alex on the neck and relished the smell of her girlfriend's hair, enjoying their closeness. Alex pulled back and turned away from Piper to flick the dishwasher on.

"I'll put your bag upstairs out of the way if you want to put the TV on for a bit?" Alex was already on her way through the door as Piper nodded her agreement. She felt awkward for mentioning Diane and had thought that it was the right time to apologise for leaving, not that she was more sure of Alex's intentions of being back in her life. Piper stood in the kitchen for a while before moving to switch the TV on. She thought long and hard about following Alex, but knew that her girlfriend needed a moment alone and respected that.

Alex returned a few minutes later when Piper was sitting on the sofa, channel hopping.

"Hey, you want some ice cream? I've got a tub of Ben & Jerry's finest here with your name on it."

"Lemme see which one you've got and I'll tell you." Piper joined her in the kitchen as Alex pulled out a new tub of Phish Food and waved it at her.

"Mmmm, count me in." Alex grinned and turned to get a spoon and a bowl to sit the tub in so they didn't get cold hands. Piper moved to stand behind her, circling her waist with her arms.

"Hey, are we good?" Piper nuzzled her nose into the back of Alex's neck and kissed her softly.

"Yeah. Sorry, I'm not used to talking about my Mom." Alex turned around to hold onto Piper's forearms as she spoke. "Thank you for saying those things though." She smiled and moved Piper's hair out of her eyes.

"Thank you for not throwing them back in my face."

"I thought about it for four years believe me and it always ended with my righteous indignation. But you've already dissolved all the anger I had been storing for that conversation."

"That's good."

"Plus, you apologised. And you NEVER used to apologise. You kinda took the rug from under me all ways."

Piper grinned at Alex's candid admission.

"Nice to know I've still got a couple of tricks up my sleeve that keep you on your toes Alex Vause." Piper moved as though she was going to kiss Alex's lips, before dipping to the side to snatch the ice cream. Alex pulled her back as she tried to scamper away with her prize and took a kiss anyway.

"Oh, I don't doubt that at all. There's never a dull moment when you're around." Alex followed her into the lounge and lay at the back of the sofa, patting the space in front of her.

"We're doing the cutlery role play are we?"

"You know it's your favourite." Alex smiled as Piper settled her back into the brunettes front and brought up the Netflix menu.

"I was thinking The Good Wife..."

"You only want to lust over Khalinda."

"I do not! It's the court room politics I'm interested in."

"And Khalinda."

"Whatever." Piper lay on her back and waved the spoon at Alex, rolling her eyes. "Will a spoon full of this shut you up?"

"I guess it depends on your aim." Alex raised an eyebrow. "Let's see shall we?" She parted her rosy lips slowly for Piper to feed her a helping of ice cream. Piper grinned and filled the spoon before slowly moving it towards Alex's mouth. Their eyes remained locked as the spoon moved to Alex's lips and Piper couldn't help but graze the bottom of the spoon over those luscious lips before she gently dipped the spoon inside her girlfriend's mouth. Alex moaned a little at the taste and licked her lips, Piper transfixed beneath her now as Alex reclined on her elbow against the cushions.

"Good?"

"Mmmm"

"More?"

"Mhmm"

"OK...here comes the airplane..." Piper spooned another helping up and flew it to Alex, who chased after it with her mouth open and tongue out trying to catch the melting ice cream before Piper put it into her own mouth.

"Oh, now that's MUCH easier to get from there." Alex dipped her head down and pressed her mouth against Piper's as she tried to prize her lips open by pushing her tongue along her girlfriend's lips. When Piper pressed them closed further, she sat back a little and raised an eyebrow. "I see. You never did like sharing. Well, I guess I'll have to feed myself in that case." She leaned over for the tub and dipped two fingers into the soft ice cream around the side, curling them slowly and scooping up the mushy wetness as Piper watched. She slowly moved her sticky fingers up and down in the tub, knowing she had Piper's full attention. "Mmm, this feels soooo good Pipes." She grinned wickedly at Piper's rapt attention and darkened eyes before she continued. She lifted her fingers out and held them up to observe the creamy texture that covered them before holding Piper's eyes and sticking her long tongue out to lick them one at a time, moving up each digit slowly and between them to taste all of the flavours before sucking them into her mouth and closing her eyes, moaning at the taste. After a couple of seconds of her pumping her fingers slowly in and out of her mouth as she sucked them clean, Alex opened her eyes to look at Piper again.

"You want some?"


	61. Chapter 61

**A/N: Surprise double update! You've got MadeintheUS, emj137, Librarybook, WB79, prooffice and some suspected regular guest reviewers to thank for this. Yes, I am way too good to you and yes, you made me feel bad about the cliffhanger :-). Happy weekend folks and hope this starts you off on the right note. Let me know your thoughts as always. ;-)**

"You want some?"

Piper swallowed thickly and nodded.

Alex smirked and raised a questioning eyebrow at her suddenly quiet girlfriend. "You do? Hmmm, I was kinda hoping you might say that…." Moving so that she was straddling Piper's waist on the sofa now, Alex leaned down and kissed Piper's neck, brushing her lips up to her ear as slowly as she could muster. She kissed her lobe before whispering into her ear "And would you like me to use my fingers or my mouth?" before gently biting the lobe and kissing along her neck again, tracing the outline of her jaw with the two fingers she had just been sucking ice cream off. Piper took hold of her hand as it traced her features and looked at the alluring brunette currently pressed into her hips as she whispered her reply.

"Fingers Alex... I want you to use your fingers."

Holding her gaze, Alex was transfixed as the blonde took her outstretched fingers away from her jaw and dipped them into the rapidly melting tub of ice cream as she put it onto the floor. Piper watched the creamy sweetness coat Alex's fingers as she ran them through the soft texture, whereas Alex couldn't take her eyes off Piper's face. The blonde lifted her fingers from the tub and pressed them against her lips, kissing them with feather-light lips up and down before opening her mouth and bringing the tips to the parted pink lips that were opening up for her. Alex's stomach filled with butterflies as she saw Piper's darkened eyes close over with heavy lids as she slipped Alex's fingers inside her warm mouth, moaning as she tasted them. Heat gathered in her core as she felt the tip of Piper's tongue against her sensitive fingertips, moving from one finger to the other and sliding down the smooth surface before sucking them softly every so often. Piper moved her other hand to intertwine her fingers with Alex's free hand and rest them on her chest together as she continued her ministrations. Alex dropped her head back and closed her eyes, allowing herself to focus completely on the incredibly erotic sensation that Piper's tongue was having on her right now as she pushed it between her fingers and moved it up and down in a maddeningly slow and slippery motion. It was impossible for her not to imagine her fingers were inside Piper's warm and wet pussy like this and Alex couldn't help but draw her fingers out slightly and feel Piper sucking them back in. Back and forth they went, with those slippery fingers pressing between those wet, pink lips. Piper's low moans as Alex's fingers were pulled back inside her warm moisture were causing Alex's stomach to somersault.

Piper separated their interlinked digits and moved to put her hand on her lover's hips, pushing her fingers underneath the shirt to feel her warm skin. As her hands roamed over the curve of those sexy hips that straddled her, she could feel the goose bumps raise in her path as the alabaster skin reacted to her touch. She moved her other hand to take Alex's fingers out of her mouth so that she could kiss them, opening her eyes to take in the sight of Alex astride her with her head lolling back, hips jutting forwards against Piper's body beneath her. Alex dropped her face to regard Piper's kisses and her eyes were dark with want and need as she let Piper take the lead.

Turning her face to kiss Alex's palm, she pushed herself up into a sitting position and pulled Alex thighs toward her as she settled her weight onto her ass again, Alex still sitting around her hips with bent knees. She placed a kiss into her chest as her fingers moved to seek the buttons holding the cotton shirt together. Alex reached down and lifted her chin so she could look into her eyes as she felt herself being disrobed by Piper's dexterous fingers as they worked their way from the top to the bottom of the article of clothing that was an unwanted barrier at this point. Pushing the shirt over the tops of Alex's shoulders, Piper followed its trail with her fingers all the way down her arms and pulled it the the side to remove it completely. Alex leaned down to kiss the blonde and was evaded as Piper dodged to the side to suck softly on the base of her neck, palms pressed against the bare flesh beneath the black lace bra that was leaving both all too little and all too much to her imagination now. Piper's long fingers roamed around the beautiful skin that was exposed to her touch and she moved freely up and down her creamy sides as she ran her tongue up the length of Alex's neck now. The brunette sitting astride her lap moaned at the combination of touches and the need to kiss and touch Piper in response was thick in the air between them now. She pushed her fingers deep into the blonde hair that moved against her neck, pulling her closer still and urging more contact. Piper nipped at the skin beneath her ear and soothed over it with her tongue, hearing the brunette's breath hitch as she did so. At the same time, she moved her palms up towards Alex's breasts and brushed the undersides of both with the tops of her fingers as she moved around to the back of the bra. Teasing her fingers beneath the straps, the pulled them away from her skin slightly as she moved her palms beneath them - up and down towards the front before she slipped them down and over her shoulders as she caught Alex's earlobe in her teeth. The woman sitting atop her sighed as she felt the skin of her breasts slightly more exposed by the loosened straps and her hips jerked as Piper sank her teeth into her ear quickly before moving back down to her neck. Playing with the loosened material at the top of Alex's bra now, Piper occasionally allowed her fingers to graze the skin of Alex's full breasts as she pulled the cups further down. She was agonisingly close to her nipples and Piper kissed lower down towards her collar bone now, Alex mussing her hair as she travelled lower. Piper could see that the nipples at her eye level were already hard and straining against the sexy material that contained them.

She was aware that Alex was pressing her heated core down into Piper and moving her thighs to create a position with more friction. She lifted both of her arms out of the bra straps and pulled the cup of one side down now to completely expose one of the voluptuous breasts in front of her face. Breathing against it now, Piper was transfixed by the sight of the hardened bud that Alex was pushing towards her mouth. But the blonde wasn't going to give her what she craved quite so readily, enjoying the sights and sounds of working Alex up to the point of combustion so much right now. She leaned in to put her mouth between the breasts and kissed the space she found with small smacks of her lips as she moved her hands to unclasp the bra to let it fall completely now. Alex tried to pull her mouth towards her straining tits to give her the relief she was desperately craving now and Piper pulled against her, leaning back and grinning.

"Fuck Pipes, you're driving me crazy." She breathed as she watched Piper lift the tub of ice cream and scoop a chunk of the icy stuff onto her fingertips. Pushing Alex to lean back ever to slightly, she pushed the icy dollop of chocolatey goodness onto the top of her breast and pushed her fingers into Alex's gasping mouth to suck her off. Alex moaned at the combined sensation of sucking Piper's fingers and the cold dessert running down her heaving bosom towards her aching nipple. Alex's eyes were rolled back and her lids closed over as she threw her head back now. But Piper was watching the ice cream melt a creamy path to the stiff bud at the tip of that wondrous breast. She stroked her hand beneath and around the breast now, ensuring that the path would lead to her goal and see that ice cream dripping from Alex's wanting nipple any moment now. Feeling it was close, Alex groaned at the torturously slow progress, wanting to feel both the cold ice on her hot tit and Piper's mouth suckling at it any moment now.

Alex licked Piper's fingers and pulled them out of her mouth with a pop before moving her hand towards her very hot and very wet core now. Piper smirked as Alex pushed her hand against the seam of her jeans, showing her exactly what she wanted now. But the friction was not enough and both women needed more at this point. Piper saw the ice cream ready to drip off the end of Alex's tit and swooped in to put her hot mouth over as much of the tit as she could manage, causing Alex to cry out from the relief of the touch she had been craving.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, yes!" She gasped as she pulled Piper's head into her bosom.

Piper unfastened the button of Alex's jeans and pulled the zipper down to where she could feel the silkiness of her lover's panties. The heat was radiating into her hand immediately and Piper felt her girlfriend buck towards her to seek the contact she had been wanting. The blonde sucked on her titty as she teased her hand over the top of her panties, moving her other hand to stroke over the nipple of the other breast that was desperate for attention. Piper flattened her tongue and laid long licks of her stiffened muscle over and around the other nipple now, working in tighter circles until she was nipping at the tip with her lips and popping the nipple out of her mouth every so often. Her fingers teased at the waist band of Alex's panties and the brunette was writhing and grinding on top of her to seek the release she so desperately needed.

"Pipes..."

"Mmmm?"

"I need you."

"I see that babe." She smiled as she swirled her tongue around her breast some more and then took her nipple between her teeth and bit down gently.

"Ah, fuck!"

"So I will put your original question back to you now. Do you want me to use my fingers or my mouth?" Piper trailed her fingers along the soaked gusset of the panties and pressed a little harder at her clit to punctuate the question.

"Oh my God. Fingers. Use your fingers. I can't fucking wait any longer." She couldn't get the words out fast enough.

"As you wish." Piper stopped what she was doing and leaned over to pick the tub of ice cream up, turning around to see what was happening in The Good Wife as she dipped her fingers in to get another scoop of ice cream. Alex watched her wide-eyed.

"Ooh look, Khalinda! Now I'm torn..."

Alex leaned down into Piper's ear and pulled her hand out of the ice cream tub. "Put your fucking fingers into my pussy right now. Put them in hard and put them in deep and suck on my tits while you're doing it. Khalinda can go fuck herself." Alex pulled her hand away from the ice cream and pushed her fingers beneath the waist band of her panties, smearing the ice cream across her pussy on the way.

"Mmmmm, someones's needy...Take your jeans off. I need more room to satisfy those exacting requirements."

Alex was just getting into the feeling of Piper's fingers in her soaked folds and groaned at having to stop. She jumped off and pulled her jeans off quickly, going to do the same with her panties when Piper stopped her.

"Keep those on. I want you to ride my fingers while you're wearing those. I want to be able to wring them out when we're done." Alex's thighs clenched together at Piper talking dirty. She patted her hips and straightened out her legs so she was properly lying down when Alex threw her leg over her again.

"Open up for me baby, I'm going to fill you up." Piper's tone was low and such a turn on for Alex as she lifted her hips and felt herself shaking slightly with the anticipation of Piper fucking her hard like this. Piper pushed two fingers under the elastic of the gusset and moved along the length of her slippery slit before finding the pulsing hole that was open and waiting for her. She locked eyes with Alex as she slowly pushed her two fingers inside and twisted them around and back before pulling them out just as slowly. Entering her for a second time was much faster and Alex moaned loudly at the feeling of Piper pushing herself inside like this. Alex was trying to maintain eye contact, but her head was falling back as Piper increased her pace and force of her thrusts. Alex moved her hips in time, rotating them as she ground herself onto Piper's hand. Piper moved her thumb to press onto her exposed clit every couple of thrusts to start with, circling it as she sensed the brunette getting closer to her climax. Alex was clinging onto her tightly with each thrust and the moans were definitely getting louder amongst the "oh fuck"s and "yes! Harder!"s that she was hearing.

"Mmmm God you're so fucking hot, bouncing up and down on my fingers. Those hot fucking tits are just teasing me, bobbing up and down in my face. I think I need to hold them down with my mouth." As Piper took one of her tits into her mouth and tweaked the other nipple, Alex came to a shuddering climax.

"Fuck! Oh my God, don't fucking stop! Dont you dare fucking stop. Fuck...me!" She panted above her as Piper felt the warm walls of her pussy contracting around her fingers, pulsing with ecstasy. Piper continued to move her fingers in and out slowly, bringing her girlfriend down from her heightened arousal and into a warm embrace as she wrapped her arms and legs around a now sitting Piper as she calmed. Piper removed her fingers from Alex's panties and brought them to her mouth to suck them clean. The brunette was breathing heavily against her shoulder and both women would have to agree that the here and now was definitely the best place to be.


	62. Chapter 62

**A/N: Happy Orange weekend guys! I KNOW there's not much reading happening right now and there's a lot of binge watching. I'm savouring the episodes, so no spoilers please! Sorry I'm longer than usual with the upload of a new chapter, I've been swamped at work. I've made it longer than usual to compensate though ;-) Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter and for the new follows taking me over 200, I'm really happy so may alerts go out when I update right now. I hope season 4 is living up to your hopes and dreams :-)**

Alex pulled Piper's head against her chest and kissed the top of her hair as she let the endorphins swirl around her bloodstream. That was certainly a much-needed release and her body was buzzing from the heat between the pair of them just now. She couldn't help but think back to the last time she and Piper had been intimate and what that had led to this past week. She had fought her natural instincts to touch Piper, to move her fingers beneath the layers of clothing that separated them in case it made the blonde retreat. It was different now. Alex was used to being in control, taking a lead and revelling at how she could make Piper come undone by her touch, her whispers, the promises of pleasure. There was a clear shift in the dynamic and it wasn't something that the dark haired beauty was at ease with. Yes, Piper had grown in confidence and skill in the art of pleasing Alex when they were together. Hell, she was never afraid to try anything new from day 1 to be fair. But she typically let Alex take the lead, maybe more from knowing how much the more experienced woman liked that control, dominance maybe. But since they had reconnected before Christmas, it was all Piper controlling and dictating the intimacy, the urgency, the way in which she would please Alex, rather than allow herself to be pleasured, refusing to become lost in the ecstasy of sex. At the time, Alex had just assumed that it was circumstances that prevented them from rolling around and creating sticky sheets for hours on end. She never thought they could slip straight back into a relationship, didn't dare to think they could even be together after all that had passed. It had been a case of taking things as they came and never thinking much past the present. A present where they were both treading carefully around the past and neither talking of a future.

Now she knew differently and it made her more cautious about where and how to touch the woman she so desperately wanted to feel against her skin. Although surprised that Piper had wanted to have sex at all so soon after talking about her rape, she was also relieved that there was enough trust between them for the blonde to want to connect that way. Piper taking control was hot and Alex was majorly turned on by that, but she equally wanted to flip Piper over and tease her girlfriend with her lips, taste her again and watch her lips part as she moaned her name. It had been too fucking long since she had felt that and living on the memories of years gone by was starting to feel like watching a well-worn copy of her favourite movie clips. When you've got the hot woman in your grasp, it's damned near torture to 'look and not touch'.

"Al?"

Broken away from her trail of thought, Alex realised she was smothering Piper with her arms and silence as she sat with legs around her waist.

"Sorry. Am I crushing you?" She looked down and smiled at the blue eyes that were questioning her.

"My legs are losing feeling a bit, but I was checking you hadn't fallen asleep on me since you've been quiet for so long."

Alex released her and moved to stand up, straightening the legs in her jeans. "I'm not asleep yet, but I'm happy to head up to bed if you're ready?"

"Are you propositioning me Alex?" Piper raised her eyebrows.

"What? No! To sleep I meant." She kicked herself for being overly sensitive when she realised Piper was joking. Jesus, why was she being so stupid with words all of a sudden? It's like being in a meeting and thinking about the one thing you're not supposed to say and trying so hard to not say it that you blurt it out anyway.

"Er….OK. You're so definitely NOT that I won't even think about that then." Piper furrowed her brow in confusion before standing up to get the feeling back in my legs.

"No, I just meant-" Alex sighed, folding her jeans.

Piper stopped her by putting her index finger on her lips. "I know what you meant. And yes, I am ready for some sleep. Can I use the bathroom down here?" She leaned in to peck Alex on the lips before turning to tidy the cushions.

"You don't need to ask. I'll be right behind you once I turn the lights out."

XXXXX

Piper needed to wash the events of the day from her skin and rinse them from her hair, so she wanted a shower before she headed to bed. So much had happened today that it had felt like a sick rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. Seeing Alex's new warehouse and the first day of the contract going well had been a great start, so was the agreement from John Peters to meet them still. But the stockroom sobbing had been a bit pathetic and she was embarrassed about letting that happen. The guy said yes for fucks sake! At least Alex hadn't taken the piss out of her or run a mile at her crazy girlfriend's ridiculous breakdown. Better still, she wasn't the type to want to sit down and talk about feelings and analyse the events. There was already more than enough therapy happening in her life already without that.

She locked the bathroom door behind her as she went in with her overnight bag. Locking the door was easier to explain as an automatic action she hadn't thought about than risk Alex walking in on her showering. If she was really quick, Alex wouldn't even realise that she had turned the lock and she didn't have to use the lie she was already preparing to explain it. Running the water to heat up, she stripped out of her clothes and caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her eyes were still a little puffy from earlier and her complexion was drawn. A face that she would quite like to wash down the drain right now. Slipping under the hot water, she set the Ziploc bag with a pair of scissors sealed inside down by her feet. Piper had one eye on the door as she quickly lathered her hair with shampoo. It was a force of habit that she had developed, no matter whether it was her own shower at home or her parents' house. When she first left prison, she always went into the shower with a kitchen knife – stowing it in the soap rack when she needed to use both hands. It was a habit that she had not long since managed to break, by deadbolting the doors and windows of her home and getting a high grade door lock put onto her bathroom door. There was a knife under the sink at home in case of emergencies anyway. Taking a bath wasn't the same thing at all as the bubbles seemed to make her feel less vulnerable and she didn't associate baths with prison. It was as though baths were still a safe place, but showers were a potential source of terror. At Alex's she felt safer knowing that her badass girlfriend was right outside to protect her. She had seen the raven haired woman hold her own in some pretty scary situations before and her reactions were lightning quick. It didn't completely assuage the panic that remained at the prospect of the door opening, but having a sharp object by her feet meant that she at least felt she had a chance to fight them off.

XXXXX

Alex locked everything up downstairs and left the lights on for Piper to find her way out of the bathroom when she was done in the shower. She washed and changed quickly and was already in bed checking her emails on her phone when Piper came through the door.

"Hey. I think I might be underdressed for this date?" Piper nodded at Alex's figure hugging camisole top as she sat up in the bed.

"Well, seeing how you've gone for full sleeves and fleecy pants…maybe I'M the one who is underdressed?" Alex laughed.

"Not sexy huh? I just picked up whatever was on the top of my pile of clean stuff." She dropped her bag by the end of the bed and pulled the duvet back to climb in.

"Which tells me you are spending far too much time in fleece for a lesbian of your young years." Alex switched her phone off and snuggled down into the covers next to her girlfriend.

"Are you labelling me?" Piper snuggled down on the pillow next to her so they were only inches apart.

"That depends. Are you objecting to being labelled middle aged or a lesbian?" Alex teased.

"I'm objecting to labels full stop. I don't even like them on my canned food. I like the element of surprise when I'm making my dinner." Piper grinned as Alex chuckled at her comment.

"OK, I'll remember that then. I won't be surprised to wake up in the morning and find you in a puddle of sweaty fleece under this goose down duvet though."

"And there I was thinking you'd love me to make a wet patch in your bed."

Alex raised her eyebrow before turning serious and looking into the teasing green eyes in front of her. "You have no idea." Reaching out to stroke the side of Piper's cheek with her fingertips, Alex continued to look into those green eyes for the longest time and convey what she daren't speak out loud. Moving closer, she pressed her lips against Piper's softly, closing her eyes as she continued to stroke her girlfriend's face. Piper returned the kiss and moved her own arm to stroke the dark hair by Alex's face. After a few moments, Alex pulled back and smiled at the blonde.

"I really want to snuggle with you, but it would basically be like holding a hot water bottle – with a fleece cover. And we'd both be a hot and sweaty mess for all of the wrong reasons."

"Well, these are the only ones I brought."

"Do you have panties? I can get you a vest top if you want? That might be comfier. Honestly, you'll be sleeping on top of the covers in 10 minutes and I'll still be under them. And that totally defeats the object of us sharing a bed in my opinion." Alex switched the lamp on and got up to find a top and some panties for Piper and dropped them on top of the covers before climbing back in bed. She moved her glasses over by the clock and was aware that Piper hadn't moved at all.

"Hey. I'm gonna switch the light out in a second anyway, but you can change in the bathroom if you prefer. I'm honestly telling you that you'll be too warm. I wouldn't be so cunning if I wanted to just sneak a peek of your hot ass cheeks." She kissed her cheek before turning to switch the lamp off again.

They lay in silence for a couple of minutes, but Alex could feel the cogs turning in Piper's head and they were spinning so fast there should have been sparks coming out of her ears. It was driving her mad and she was clenching her jaw to not press or coerce at all, waiting for Piper to make a decision. Instead, she turned her thoughts to the warehouse and the emails she had just been reading from Lorna to update her on what stock was already crated and packed for shipping. She thought about the chances of that getting finished up tomorrow and if Nicky might need anything on site again. She'd be totally lost without those two this weekend and she thanked her lucky stars she had two friends like them right now. As she started to think about a promotion for her wiry-haired friend and what job title she could really give Nicky as a reward for her help with the contractor, she felt Piper start to move next to her. Alex remained still and tried not to hold her breath as though she was witnessing some rare event in nature that very people witness…..Well, she damned hoped very few people had witnessed this particular beauty doing this particular activity anyway. The blonde was pulling her fleecy bottoms off and dropping them by the bed before feeling around for the panties and pulling them up her legs as Alex smiled to herself in the darkness. Piper was removing her top under the duvet and reached for the vest to pull over her head awkwardly as she half lay on her side to pull the vest over her head. Sensing her struggling, Alex couldn't help but laugh.

"Seriously? It's pitch fucking black in here save for the stars above us. My glasses are out of reach and you sound like you just put your head through the arm hole."

"Alright, I confess. I didn't think that through."

Alex moved onto her side behind Piper now and reached out to touch her shoulder.

"Pipes?"

"I know, I'm a dumbass."

"Will you trust me to help you?" Her voice was low, almost a whisper.

"It's OK, I can do it. Maybe I'd be better off going to the bathroom…."

"I want to help you."

"It might not look like it right now, but I can handle this. It's only a top."

"I know YOU can handle it…But I want you to let ME handle it." Alex spoke softly from her position behind her tangled top.

"Alex…." She began, already tense.

"It's me Pipes. It's only me." Alex moved so she was kneeling now, sitting behind her in the darkness.

"I don't want to Alex." Piper spoke quietly but firmly.

"I know you don't babe. I know all you want to do right now is run into that bathroom and get dressed yourself. I know that." She was calm, understanding and unmoving in her actions.

"This is so stupid." Piper huffed, her back still to the brunette as she worried her lip.

Alex didn't move and didn't answer either straight away, but she leaned down to kiss Piper's temple before whispering in her ear.

"It's only me Pipes. Me and you, on our own under this gorgeous night sky. Come on. Sit up. You're like half-dressed at the moment. Half incorrectly dressed at that. The sooner you are respectable, the sooner we can snuggle, OK?"

"Alex…..I'm sorry. You must think I'm a complete screwball."

"Totally…..But you're MY screwball."

"Hey, you're not supposed to agree!" Piper swatted her arm behind, searching for Alex. The brunette grabbed her hand and leaned down to kiss it.

"Are you going to trust me?"

"Let's get this over with." She pulled herself up slowly, with her back to Alex. The brunette moved closer to her back, knees either side of her hips now.

"Good. Now, God only knows where you've got this wrapped and I'm working in the dark here, so shout up if you think I'm tearing a limb off."

"You'd be doing a pretty crappy job if I ended up in hospital from a wardrobe malfunction." Piper added nervously.

"I guess we're about to find out. Please try not to bleed on my sheets." She found the edges of the top and lifted it slowly towards her shoulders.

"If your arms are still attached, you should lift them at this point babe."

Alex lifted the shirt the rest of the way off before trying to work out the right way up in the tiny bit of moonlight coming from above them. Piper pulled her knees up to her chest while she was waiting, feeling conscious of her semi-naked form being on display. The fact that it was dark made little difference to how vulnerable she was feeling.

"I might have to put my fleecy pyjamas back on at this rate. What are you doing, knitting a new one?"

"I'd be pretty shitty at following a pattern right now without my glasses. It's hard enough turning it the right way around. I've got it. I'm confident on this one now. Ready?"

"Arms up?"

"You got it. It's like you've done this before."

"Once or twice wise ass." Piper lifted her arms and felt Alex pulling the material over her head, carefully avoiding touching her skin with her fingers as she pulled the material all the way down.

"Done. Is m'lady satisfied with my workmanship?" Alex kissed the top of her head, before shuffling back to lie down under the overs.

"Mmmm. She is. I'm ready to be wowed by your duvet warmth now." They snuggled down and Piper moved back until she was flush with Alex's body. They both had bare legs and Piper shivered at the feeling of their skin touching. It felt strangely intimate for her, yet totally familiar at the same time. Alex's long arms wrapped around her and she covered them with her own. It was as much skin contact as they had had since they were last together like this and it felt like coming home to Piper.

"Is this OK?" Alex whispered into her hair.

"It's more than OK." Piper wrapped her legs over the top of Alex's to pull her as close as she could, feeling safer than she had in a very long time.

XXXXX

Alex was awake early again the next morning and she smiled at the feeling of Piper lying against her, arms draped over her waist before she even opened her eyes. It felt so good that she didn't open her eyes for a while, just enjoying the feeling. As she enjoyed the warmth of Piper's body against hers, she thought about how real the fear had been that she might never get to have this feeling ever again. Alex had always enjoyed cuddling with Piper, but she'd never savoured it quite like this. This was a moment and a feeling she wanted to bottle, to have enough that she might be able to squeak the cork open and get another taste of it at any point in case this was taken away from her again. The thought turned her stomach and she quickly banished it, reminding herself to enjoy the moment. She had intended on getting up to do some work while Piper slept, but an internal pep talk on what was most important in her life right now meant she decided the world outside the bedroom could be a raging inferno. What mattered most was lying in her arms and once she wrestled with her guilty conscience for not working, she fell back asleep to the sound of the blonde's regular breathing against her skin.

XXXXX

Piper woke with a crick in her neck from lying in the same position on Alex all night. She couldn't even remember getting there, but it was obviously comfy enough to stay there for hours. She lifted her head to lie back onto the pillow and felt Alex's arms tighten around her as she tried to move. She smiled and pressed a kiss to Alex's collarbone before trying again, but Alex pulled her back.

"Well, Good Morning. Am I waking up to a hostage situation?" Piper murmured as she peppered Alex with kisses.

"You are. Are you going to try to escape? Do I need to restrain you?" Alex stroked her blonde hair as Piper continued kissing up to her neck.

"I've spent enough time in cuffs to last me a lifetime thanks. Do I need to call Polly to negotiate my release?"

"My demands are not negotiable."

"Oh really? I bet I can negotiate with you." Piper placed open mouthed kisses along her pulse so she was whispering close to her ear now.

"Nope. Even your dirty tactics won't work."

"That sounds like a challenge." Piper smiled against her neck and moved her hand over Alex's stomach.

"Nu-uh. Before you start negotiating, don't you want to hear my demands?" Alex stopped her hand from roaming any further over her body.

"OK, it seems I'm already a captive audience." Piper propped herself up on her elbow.

"Good point. OK. Number 1, you spend the day with me."

"I accept your terms."

"You haven't heard them all yet." Alex laughed.

"OK. I accept your term then. Go on."

"Second, you have breakfast with me. Wait! There's more…..Third, you let me buy you some fancy plates and stuff to replace the ones I broke last weekend."

"You don't have to do that. It was crappy stuff anyway and at least half of it was chipped. Seriously, you did me a favour. There was probably some freaky bacteria growing in those cracks. You like, saved my life or something." Piper grinned. "But yes to everything else."

"No deal. It's all or nothing babe."

"Are you working today?"

"Changing the subject. No, I'm not going to work. But I do need to do something for Poussey this afternoon if you want to help?"

"Was that the fourth demand?"

"Er, yes. My fifth being that I get to kiss you as often as I want all day. Deal?" Alex pulled her back on top of her and smothered her in kisses while Piper laughed hysterically.

XXXXX

They went out for breakfast at a diner close by Alex's apartment before heading over to the NY Logistics offices, where they called in to see Lorna and check she was managing OK.

"Hey Piper, I didn't know you were coming in!" Lorna hugged her tightly. "Where's Alex?"

"Oh she's here, she just stopped by the office downstairs first to see Poussey. How are you getting on?"

"It's fine, really. I was really starting to panic last week when we couldn't find any place for the stock. I'd gone through every place the real estate places came up with 10 times over when this one came up. Having that crew ready to go with the warehouse too has been a gift. I really don't think we would have made it if Alex hadn't worked her charms. She deserves a break after the hours she was putting in lately."

"Yeah, whether she will take one is another matter though right?" Piper smiled at Lorna, who was already aware of what a workaholic Alex was.

"Well you seem to have some charms of your own with her, maybe you could persuade her."

"Ha! I kept her out of Nicky's hair yesterday – and to be fair, that hair take some keeping away from. I'll try and do the same today for you. I think we're shopping for kitchen ware later, so we'll see…"

Lorna raised her eyebrows.

"No. Not like that. Kitchen ware for MY kitchen. In MY home. Alex has her own, that is staying in HER place."

"I didn't even say anything!"

"Your eyes did all of the talking. And I'm telling you, you're barking up the wrong tree."

"Who is barking up the wrong tree?" Alex came in twirling her car keys around her fingers.

"I am apparently."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter about that. You came in here to be nosy about the contract, so get on with it and we can leave Lorna to get on with everything. I agreed to spend the day with you, not your work remember." Piper shot her a warning glance as she stepped into Alex's office to call Polly and check she was OK at the store.

XXXXX

"Alex I'm not exactly dressed for this."

"Rubbish."

"Is that supposed to be ironic?"

"You can just hold the doors open for me if you want. It won't take long."

"How the Hell have you volunteered to spend your day off moving all this crap? Can't she get a man in to do this?"

"And I thought you were a feminist." Alex rolled her eyes as she lifted the first rubble sack and walked over to the door where Piper was standing in her way, arms folded.

"You're a shitty assistant so far. Glamorous, but shitty." Alex kissed her on the cheek as she dropped the sack and took Piper's shoulders. "I owed Poussey a favour and she's working for me today. It's the least I can do to give her a dust free kitchen. You get shiny mugs, she gets her floor space back."

Piper rolled her eyes and pulled her shirt over her head, so she didn't ruin it. "If I wreck this Smith tee, I will have to go back to Uni and do it all over again. That means reliving those experimental College years all over again. Remember that."

"I definitely will." Alex kissed her as she opened the door for her and followed her out with the first bag.

They were half way through the pile of rubble bags when Piper brought up the subject of the court case. It was starting to prey on her mind a little now that she had come to terms with it being real. Knowing she had another session with Sarah in the morning, she was thinking about whether her rape in prison would influence her effectiveness as a witness and she didn't want to jeopardise justice for the other women involved in the case.

"Alex?"

"Yeah." The brunette has just hauled a bag of rubble along the van floor and walked to pull Piper's bag from her at the door.

"The lawyer that helped you get off the drugs charges. Would he represent me in the court case against Darryl do you think? I mean, I don't know if I could even afford him. Maybe that should be my first question. You know, what, scratch that. I couldn't afford him anyway. If he was good enough to get you off prison AND keep your money, he won't be looking at someone who needs a payment plan. I'll check the local ads." Piper shrugged and was on her way back into the apartment for another bag when Alex caught her.

"Pipes. Did you want me to answer any of those questions or had you already decided what my answers would be?" Alex jogged to catch her up.

"I hadn't thought it through. Nevermind. Forget I said anything." She pushed through the door and started up the staircase.

"OK. First, you won't need a big fancy lawyer. You're a witness and victim here with strong evidence and you're part of a bigger case with other charges. Second, the guy I used specialises in crimes involving money, so he might not be best for you anyway. Third, how do you know how much anyone costs or whether they will help you if you don't even ask?"

"To answer your statements of assumption….First, not having a fancy lawyer and an apparently good case still ended up with me going to prison last time. Second, fair point. Third, if they wear a fancy suit and have a fancy office address, I don't need to ask about prices." Piper picked up the sweeping brush and started sweeping the dusty floor as Alex ran some hot water into a bucket to wipe it over afterwards.

"He might not be the best guy for the job, but his company has lots of different lawyers with specialities in different areas. I can call him and see who he recommends if you want me to?"

"Maybe I'll just ask my Dad if he knows anyone at the golf club…."

"OK, whatever." Alex rolled her eyes and added some detergent to the hot water, throwing a cloth into the soapy bucket.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Piper leaned on the brush, with one hand on her hip.

"It means you will do what you want regardless of any advice I give you, so I'm saying go ahead."

"I'm not going against your advice Alex. I just said I will talk to my Dad."

"And I said I'd call my Lawyer and see who he recommends. What's your Dad's recommendation going to be based on? The guy with the best handicap?" Alex knelt on the floor and sloshed the bucket of water down next to her before wringing the cloth out.

"I can choose whoever I want! I probably can't afford either recommendation anyway, so I don't know why we're even arguing about this." Piper threw the broom against the wall and tied the bag of dirt up to add to the van.

"You don't know how much they even cost yet!" Alex started wiping the floor with vigour.

"Jesus Christ! I don't need you to choose every company I do business with Alex, I am a grown up remember?"

"At what point have I forced my choices on you exactly?" Alex threw the cloth on the floor and glared at Piper now.

"John Peters was your choice." Piper folded her arms defiantly.

"You were worrying about sales and I suggested you could use a professional to help with marketing tactics! I didn't force you to do anything Piper!"

"You could have just left me to look through local companies and find one for myself." She shrugged, moving the bag to the door.

"You're seriously breaking my back with this because I was trying to HELP you?! Oh my God, are you for real?!"

"And now you're all pissy because I don't want to use your lawyer."

"You ASKED me remember?!"

"Yes, I asked you and then said I'd ask my Dad too. Just because I don't go with your option, you get all jealous about it."

"Now I'm JEALOUS? Because you asked if you could use my lawyer. I do not understand how your brain works sometimes." Alex shook her head and picked the cloth up to rinse it, turning back to finishing the job at Poussey's.

"And now you're avoiding the confrontation. Some things never change."

"I'm avoiding it because this is a completely fucking pointless argument that nobody is going to win."

"Because you can't get your own way."

"I'm not doing this with you Piper."

"Well, there's a whole new set of mugs and plates in the van if that's how you want to do it?"


	63. Chapter 63

**A/N: Welcome to JammyjenJ and Abbeldy as new readers, I love a good binge read! Librarybook, cookie monster, RachelBarbraBerry, bellacjh, emj137, prooffice, izzielg, jessicagreis, Tiffr3n33, WB79 and my regular guests - Thanks for all of your reviews as always, I'm thrilled you're still enjoying this as much as I like writing it. I've liked reading your reactions to Piper's outburst in the last chapter and I hope you can appreciate where that goes now. Hope you've got some exciting plans for the weekend folks (I'm not going to mention the Brexit result that's occupying my social media feed!).**

Alex drew her glasses up onto her head and sighed heavily before standing up, hands on hips to regard Piper on her own level.

"Are you done?"

"Am I done? No I'm not fucking done. I can ask whoever I want for advice Alex and it's got nothing to do with you."

Alex remained silent, encouraging her to continue by raising her eyebrows.

"You've got your life and I've got mine. Occasionally they mix and we do stuff together, but mostly my life is my business."

"Like today? Today was a doing stuff together day. Remember when you wanted me to not do any work and spend my day with you? Is this what you had in mind?" Alex's voice was raised and she threw her hands in the air. She was clenching her jaw to bite back the cutting responses she felt building inside, knowing an argument was precisely what Piper was wanting.

Piper snorted. "Cleaning some fucking yard girl's apartment up in my spare time? Yeah, it's fucking dreamy spending the day with you Alex."

"Go and sit in the van while I lock up." Alex spoke so low now it was barely audible, but Piper huffed and slammed the door behind her. The brunette quickly cleared up the rest of the mess and poured the water away, carrying the last of the rubbish with her she went down stairs and locked up Poussey's apartment. She got into the driver's side and started the engine without so much as looking at the blue eyes boring holes into the side of her face. She was absolutely livid with Piper's behaviour, but determined not to lose her composure.

"What a surprise, the silent treatment. Avoiding confrontation at all costs. I wish I'd gone into the God-damned store if I knew spending the day with you was going to turn out like this."

Alex weaved her way through the streets with the van until she pulled up outside of Piper's house and cut the engine. Putting her glasses on the top of her head, she turned to Piper.

"If you ever, I mean EVER say something derogatory about one of my friends in anger like that again when they've done nothing at all to upset you, I won't be forgiving or forgetting it. It's one thing treating me like your fucking punch bag when you're having a tantrum, but I will not let you bring my friends into this. You want an argument. I see that. I don't know why, but you're clearly ready for a time out. Just say you want to go home if that's what you want. You don't have to lash out at me to get permission to storm out. It's your life and it's none of my business, you made that quite clear. Now get out. I've got a shit ton of stuff to do this weekend and babysitting a petulant child isn't one of them." Alex got out of the van and carried the boxes of new mugs and plates to Piper's doorstep while the blonde stayed inside the van. Alex pulled the passenger door open.

"I said get out."

"Alex, I.-"

"I don't want to hear it. You've said enough already. Get out."

Piper slid out of the seat and picked up her bag. "I'm sorry Alex."

"I'm not interested in your instant remorse. You keep telling me you're a fucking grown up, so how about you start acting like one and use your words without being a complete bitch?" Alex slammed the door shut and walked around to the driver's side, starting the engine and pulling away before Piper was even on the sidewalk.

XXXXX

Alex drove to the city dump to unload the bags, enjoying the manual work to get out some of her pent up frustrations with Piper's outburst. It was a familiar pattern of Piper provoking an argument so she made it Alex's fault when she reacted and Piper had the excuse to storm away. Only in the past, there was a high chance that Alex had been at fault somewhere along the line because of putting work before Piper. So even when Piper came back and apologised for storming out, Alex still had a modicum of guilt for driving her to it to attract her attention. This time, she had been absolutely certain of pulling out all the stops to put Piper first. Save for the fact they were helping Poussey out for an hour or so, she'd had Alex's undivided attention for pretty much the whole day. There was absolutely no reason for that behaviour and her lashing out at Poussey had been the final straw. She knew raising her voice to argue was exactly what Piper had been hoping for, but she also wanted to make sure Piper recognised that she'd crossed the line and getting her out of her space was the best way to prevent things from escalating.

Suddenly finding her late afternoon free, she dropped the van back at work and helped Lorna in the office. At least someone was happy to see her and grateful for her help.

XXXXX

Piper met with Sarah at 10am the next morning and they talked about the court case a little, with Sarah explaining what the process would be.

"Have you get a lawyer sorted out already? I can recommend some companies if you're still looking?"

"Hmm, thanks for the offer, but I'd better not take any more recommendations just at the moment." Sarah looked at her, confused. "I have a few recommendations already, so I just need to look at costs and see which I can afford really."

"Oh, right." She smiled, sipping more coffee from the shiny mug.

"So, do you know if what happened to me in prison might be brought up as part of this case?"

"That's one for the legal eagles really, but they will likely bring up the fact that you were in prison as they might try and use that to damage your credibility as a witness. Whether they want to go into specifics, I have no idea."

"I need to get that lawyer sorted out then don't I?"

"Yes, you do!" Sarah chuckled as she started wrapping up her files. "How did your first session go with Julie on Friday?"

"It was good actually. Not as bad as I thought it might be. Maybe she went easy on me for the first session though…..I'm going back on Friday, so I'll let you know if I've changed my mind." Piper smiled warmly. "Thank you for all your help Sarah. I know I haven't been the easiest nut to crack, but I do appreciate the help you've given me. It's not been easy, but you've been really good to me. I just wanted to tell you that." She shrugged, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"You're so welcome Piper. There's no such thing as an easy case in VSU, but it's a great job when you can genuinely help people. You've come a long way already. We can cut down the sessions if you want, maybe make them less regular. Unless you want to carry on with the court case coming up?"

"I don't know. I like having them, but with this and the meetings with Julie as well as needing to fit a lawyer in too….I kind of feel like I'm leaving poor Polly to run the store on her own. I've got too much going on already, so maybe I should call you if I need anything?"

"Fine by me. Let's leave it at that then. Give me a call when you want to meet up again, maybe in a couple of weeks or something hey?" Sarah collected her things up and said her goodbyes, leaving Piper to get ready for work.

XXXXX

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" Polly asked for the hundredth time.

"Yes! I told you, I'm totally happy for you to take the lead. It means we can stay open here too and I don't get to feel totally stupid after cancelling on John in the first place. It's a win-win."

"OK, well I don't mind doing it on my own. Maybe we can run through a rough plan today so I know we're both on the same page with our ideas before I talk to him on Wednesday?"

"Yeah, great. Take tomorrow off from coming in here so you can prepare as well. It will be easier to do it at home without interruptions."

"OK…..What about Thursday and Friday?" Polly asked cautiously, watching carefully for a reaction.

"You want to take a couple of days off? Sure, I can look after things." Piper shrugged.

"Is this an early morning orgasm making these decisions or guilt?"

"Neither! Can't I take the reins for a few days without you getting all suspicious of my reasons?"

"No, you can't. Has Supercunt got you all loved up after your weekend of making doe eyes at each other?"

"Pfft. Hardly. Alex dumped me and my belongings on the sidewalk yesterday and drove off in a plume of rage."

"A plume of rage? Very poetic. Were you backseat driving?"

"No. Being a complete bitch apparently." Piper sighed and Polly raised an eyebrow before responding.

"OK…is that 'apparently' because you disagree?"

"No. I agree, which is the whole problem. It's like foot in mouth disease on steroids."

Polly laughed. "It's nothing she hasn't seen a hundred times before."

"Ugh. It's not funny Pol. We had such a nice day on Saturday and it was going so well yesterday. It was really good to spend some proper time together without one of us working or having to go somewhere. It's the first time we've done it…for years actually." Piper leaned on the counter with her chin in her hands, sighing heavily.

"If it was all going so well, what happened?"

"I don't really know. I just remember I asked for her advice on a lawyer and she got pissy when I said I'd ask my Dad. So that wound me up like she automatically would know better than he would."

"Which she would, having done an exceptional job of avoiding any punishment for breaking the law whatsoever."

"Yes…but it's the way she was so dismissive of me looking at other options….I don't know. Maybe I overreacted a bit. I did call Poussey a yard girl…"

Polly raised her eyebrows. "Nice. What did she do to deserve that exactly?"

"Nothing. Which is sort of why Alex dumped my ass on the street. I guess she had a point, right?"

"You think?"

Piper groaned and put her face in her hands.

"Have you tried to call her?"

"Poussey?" Piper furrowed her brows over the top of her fingertips.

"No, dumb ass. Alex."

"No. I'm hoping she will cool down."

"And you're checking the temperature from here?"

"Yes. It's a safe distance from what might still be a raging volcano. I'm outside of the lava zone in here."

"Lesbian drama." Polly rolled her eyes. "Shall we get started on these plans for my meeting with John then?"

XXXXX

Alex spent Monday down at the depot in Newark talking to Bill and helping Nicky to sign off the full containers that were going onto the cargo ship that day. Against all odds, they were ahead of schedule, but over budget on account of sub-contracting all of Bill's team and facilities for the job. Alex knew there was no way they would have met the deadline without it, so she had to accept the loss on this one for the sake of making a good first impression. Delivering early would at least count for the bonus and look like a good start for the first piece of work.

"Alex, I have to thank you for getting us involved in this. I had the letters all ready to put people on notice to lose their jobs the day you walked through the door. I don't know what twist of fate it was, but thanks for finding us and making the offer you did. It's been pretty dark times in this office over the last few months and losing that Rigoveri contract pushed us into a corner I couldn't find a way out of."

"You really don't need to thank me. There's no way we could have delivered on this if it weren't for the experience your guys have got and your willingness to help us even though we took your contract over with the Italian guys." Alex smiled warmly. Bill was a genuinely nice guy and just wanted to see everyone keeping their jobs. He wasn't precious about company secrets and competition. He was a realist who knew the chips were down and that an alliance with Alex could mean the difference between everyone out there paying their bills or not.

"I was wondering if there might be any more contracts we could help you on? I mean….I know you've got your own team already, but if there might be anything else like this coming up so we can strike a similar deal maybe?" Alex's stomach flipped when she saw the hope in Bill's eyes that he was really trying to hide.

"Um, yeah. There should be some more deals coming through like this. To be honest, this is the first one we've done this way. It's gone well so far though, so I'd definitely be interested in seeing if we could set something up to use your guys again. Have you got anything in the pipeline?"

"Just scraps really. We only do commercial contracts, so it tends to be feast or famine. We've tried to get some of the smaller deals recently just to tide us over, but we don't have the local presence and delivery capabilities. We're more geared up for the heavy lifting onto cargo."

"Have you got contacts that want that kind of smaller work? We've got the equipment for it, but not always the manpower. If you're willing to share your contacts and pipeline, we can provide some resources and maybe do a sub-contracting deal again. That might keep you ticking over until we set up the next cargo deal."

"That sounds like it could work. I want to keep these guys in jobs. It's great to hear them bantering out there while they are working, it's been too long since everyone's been working up a sweat around here."

Bill set up some introductions with some of the companies they had been contracting for in the last 12 months and Alex asked Lorna and Nicky to get involved in the calls so they could follow up any prospective opportunities with Bill on board to give some continuity.

She gave Nicky a lift from the depot and they called for Chinese take-out on the way back to Nicky's place to eat it.

Nicky kicked her boots off at the door and got some beers from the fridge while Alex unpacked their take out on the table.

"So how come I'm getting VIP treatment tonight?"

"Why is take out VIP treatment?"

"Because you've been pressed against those Colgate white teeth for the past few weeks and nobody gets a look in these days." Nicky kicked the fridge shut with her foot and popped the caps off the bottles.

"Don't exaggerate."

"About the teeth or your body parts pressed against them?"

Alex rolled her eyes and dropped onto the couch with her plate of food. "Whatever. I don't want to hear about your fantasies involving my body parts." She took her beer from Nicky. "Cheers."

"What are we toasting then Stretch?"

"The absence of drama."

Nicky raised her bottle and regarded Alex, waiting for her to elaborate.

"Stop gawking at me and put the TV on will you?"

"You don't want to talk about it then?"

"No."

"Fine. The Good Wife it is then…."

"Not you as well…"

XXXXX

Piper was looking through her fridge for something to eat when her phone started ringing. Pulling it from her back pocket, the caller ID showed it was Steve calling her.

"Hey stranger! This is a nice surprise."

"Hey you. Is this a good time to talk?"

"Sure, I'm just about to ping some baked beans in the microwave, so you're good. How's things?"

"Been better to be honest. This court case is starting to stress me out a bit. How are you handling it?"

"Mmm, I know what you mean. I'm trying not to think about it too much actually because I just have an awful feeling that something's going to go wrong and he'll get off." Piper held the phone under her jaw as she opened the tin and emptied the contents into a container.

"I've never been through anything like this before and my Lawyer is freaking me out with all of this preparation work. All the practising of answering the questions is starting to feel like I'm rehearsing lines for a freaking Broadway play or something. Every time, he changes something. I'm not sitting the right way, I don't look remorseful enough, I'm saying too much or not enough. It's driving me mad."

"Wow. Are we meant to rehearse this?"

"Haven't you done that with your Lawyer? Maybe I've got a weird one…"

"No. Well, I haven't got one yet."

"Piper! The date is just over 3 weeks away!"

"I know! I've just been busy lately. I do need to sort something out. Are we allowed to swap notes or is this classed as cheating?"

"I don't think they can stop us talking. Unless you try to change your statement I suppose. Do you need to change your statement?"

"I can't even remember what is in it actually. I was high on pain relief when I gave it, so I'm slightly concerned in case I described a guy with green skin and 3 eyes in his forehead. Not going to go down well with the ID parade huh?" She dropped a couple of slices of bread into her new toaster and pushed them down.

Steve laughed. "I'm glad you've got a sense of humour about it. I've been biting everyone's heads off for the last 2 weeks so it's good to see you're handling it better than me."

"I wouldn't go that far. Avoiding it isn't exactly handling it."

"Are you still having the Victim Support meetings?"

"Yeah, and they are good actually. I think I'm just worried because I didn't do so well last time I had to go and sit in a court room. Even though everyone keeps telling me it's different this time, I was reassured I'd get a slap on the wrists throughout my own trial and it never worked out that way."

"It's different for you isn't it?"

"I suppose it is." Piper's toast popped up and she poured the beans over and sat at the table.

"I'm gonna put you on speaker while I eat dinner."

XXXXX

Piper and Steve spoke for over an hour, ending up with her curled up on the sofa with a mug of tea. It had been good to talk to someone about the court case and she felt more prepared already just by listening to what Steve had been discussing with his legal team. Equally, she felt under-prepared because Steve had been talking to his Lawyer for a couple of weeks already. At least is spurred her on to take action. She called her Dad and asked him if he would recommend anyone for representing her. He suggested finding someone in New York as it would be easier for her to meet with them to prepare and offered to help her search the local ads. All of which took her back to the option of asking Alex. Fuck. Only a day after making a fuss about exercising her right to choose, she was back-pedalling to ask the same question for a second time, only with a side portion of humble pie thrown in.


	64. Chapter 64

**A/N: I really tried to pace myself, but I finished Season 4 already...Ooooh. So relieved it was better than S3, so for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, do not fear! Thanks for the reviews - lots of support for Alex making a stand in the last chapter. But what will the fallout be? Let's find out.**

Polly took Tuesday off from the store to work on the preparation for the meeting with John Peters on Wednesday. Piper felt useful to be giving her a bit of a break from managing the store every day. Even though her best friend would be working at home still, it was a lie in bed at least. She looked through the local ads on the internet for Lawyers in between serving customers, but they all sounded the same. It was impossible to tell a good one from a bad one and they were coy on costs when she made enquiries – saying only 'it depends on the case'. She knew the easiest thing to do was to call Alex, but it also felt like the hardest now that she'd made it into such a big deal. She resigned to see whether the brunette might make the first move to call her if she left it until tonight to make contact. Instead, she made several calls to interrupt Polly to see if she needed any help until Polly stopped answering and sent her a text to say she was going dark to get it finished.

Alex hadn't called or even sent Piper a text since their spat on Sunday and her phone wasn't lighting up with a new notification from the brunette, no matter how much Piper stared at it on Tuesday night. She dug her heels in and opted to turn her phone off instead to avoid the fact it wasn't ringing, running a long bath to try and relax. Despite this, sleep would not come easily and she spent an inordinate amount of time tossing and turning in frustration. She refused to feel guilty for defending her right to make her own choices, yet she knew the simplest solution was to call Alex and apologise. It didn't seem fucking fair that she should have to apologise though and her pride would not allow her to be seen to be crawling back to Alex. Even though she knew that Alex wouldn't rub her nose in it, there was still the principle of winning and losing on this at stake. She made the decision to do things the hard way if she had to, but she would not bend to Alex's will on this. No damned way.

XXXXX

With Bill and his team having the last of the Rigoveri contract stock under control and ready to go, Alex was following up on some of the contacts he had shared. Some of them sounded promising and there were a few orders that they could get underway pretty quickly. They arranged to provide NY Logistics vans at the Newport depot so Bill's team could take deliveries there directly and Taystee was put in charge of ensuring any drivers had the right licences, insurance and health and safety checks before anything got started. There was a great atmosphere in the place and Taystee was loving the extra responsibility. Once she was happy that everything was under control there, she arranged a mini road trip with Nicky to meet some of the bigger companies in the north east face to face. She always felt you could develop a better understanding that way and it would only take them a few days to cover 4 companies that could bring in quite a chunk of new work if the meetings went well.

Alex was driving and swatting Nicky's feet off her dashboard every so often as they went along the highway in the pouring rain.

"I'll take my shoes off OK? Jees, would you relax?"

"You have no respect for anything Nicholls, you know that?"

"It's comfy. You don't want me to be crippled with back ache do you? You are responsible for my health and safety after all." Nicky grinned as she pulled her Doc Martens off and threw them into the seat behind them. Alex rolled her eyes and turned the heater down a little.

"Man, it's already like a freezer in here. Am I getting you all hot and bothered already Slim?"

"I'm trying to make sure your feet can't sweat anymore now they're hanging over my blower."

"How about I put them in your lap instead and you can give them a little rub while you're at it?"

"Pretty sure you're reading the wrong sort of employer health and safety handbook if you think that's my responsibility."

"What, not enough fancy red nail polish on my toes for you Vause?"

"Yeah, that is exactly the reason." Alex rolled her eyes.

"I can sort that out for you at the next gas stop. I don't want you getting distracted from the road and sucking my toes though Stretch."

"Don't pretend like you haven't dreamed about that."

"Of course I have. I just hope you can live up to my fantasy now you're got me all to yourself for 4 days." Nicky waggled her eyebrows.

"If that involves me hearing about your fantasies, I'm already looking for a U-turn in the road."

"Backing out already? Shame, I had high hopes for you with the stuff I've packed in my case back there."

"Well I do hope you brought something other than a ball gag and handcuffs for the client meetings we are here for." Alex raised an eyebrow at Nicky before they both creased into laughter.

XXXXX

Polly had called Piper first thing on Wednesday morning to go through the plan for the presentation she had prepared for the meeting with John. They shared screens on Skype and Piper added some talking points on the notes as they went. She felt more involved now Polly had gone through the slides with her and she was really happy with all the work Polly had put in.

"Seriously though P, after I hang up that's it. I'm switching my phone to silent so I can try and calm down. There's so fucking much to remember on this that I can't have you calling every time you think of something new or ask what I put on slide 4 for the hundredth time. If both of us were going, we could cover everything, but we have to keep the store open."

"I know. I'm just thinking there might be something important that we remember last minute."

"I'm sure we can send a mail afterwards or something if there's anything I forget. I'll give you a blow by blow when I get out OK?"

"Alright. Good luck! And call me if you need anything OK?"

"I will, promise. Bye!"

Piper had closed her laptop down and pulled her coat on to go into the store. She didn't have any breakfast on account of her stomach doing somersaults ever since she woke up and her head was pounding from the lack of sleep last night. She opened up the store and set to work calling some of the law firms that seemed to be at the cheaper end of the market while it was still quiet on the street. By mid-afternoon she found a guy who would accept payment for the first consultation up front and agree a payment plan based on estimated work following that. He was based in Queensboro, so she figured it would be easier to combine the counselling sessions with Julie and meeting her lawyer at the same time made perfect sense to cut down travel time. Feeling smug and extremely hungry now, she opted to close the store for 5 minutes while she ran down the street for a bagel and coffee.

It was mid-afternoon when Polly called her to share the news of the meeting.

"So do you want the good news or the really fucking amazing news?"

"Really?! It's a long time since I ever had a choice like that….I kind of want to savour the moment now…."

"Seriously?! Oh my God, I'm in love with that man! He was brilliant Piper, like totally amazing."

"I haven't heard you get this excited about a man since Ched Kavinski kissed you for giving him a cigarette in High School."

"Well he was THAT good. So, anyway…he's given me some details for new businesses to transition from start up grants with new funding schemes, told me about locations where we could get a great deal on renting shop space that would be cheaper than Brooklyn, looked at ways we can cut our running costs….God there's so much to tell you. My head is spinning with it all. Can you come round to mine tonight when you lock up and we can go over it with some wine to celebrate?"

"Wow, OK. That sounds pretty full on. Have you made notes?"

"Of course I have! I knew Miss Chapman would check my work later, so I've done my homework. Call me later OK? I've got to call Pete. Bye!"

Piper picked up a bottle of wine on the way and was at Polly's place by 7pm. They went through the meeting in detail, with Piper checking everything twice and making her own notes before Polly closed her notebook over and refilled her wine glass.

"OK, my head is banging from doing this for 48 hours already. Can we not talk about work for a bit now?"

"There's so much to do Pol. I feel like we need to make a start while the intel is still fresh. There might be another artisanal soap and bath products company who met with hi today who are writing their new business plan right now…" Piper warned, opening her notebook again.

"All work and no play makes Piper an exceedingly dull drinking companion. Are you staying here tonight?" Polly closed over the notebook again and moved it out of reach before Piper could stop her.

"I'll probably head home, then I can get changed. Are you going to take the day off and rest a bit like we agreed?"

"Yes! A thousand times yes! I'm also going to finish this bottle and make sure I don't wake up early."

Piper smiled sheepishly, knowing that going home tonight on the subway would at least mean she wouldn't drink too much tonight.

"Good, you deserve it. I need some time off on Friday again OK? I've got another counselling session and I think I've found a lawyer to represent me in the court case. I'll see them both on Friday morning, but I don't know how long I'll be with the legal guy for yet."

"No problem. Are you seeing the guy Alex used?"

"No. I've found my own."

Polly raised her eyebrows. "OK, well if you think he's the man for the job then great. How come you're seeing Sarah so much at the moment?"

"Huh? I'm not. In fact, we just cut back the visits…." Piper realised Polly thought she would be seeing her again on Friday.

"Ah, right. OK, I see why you thought that." She opted to tell a half truth and explain it was counselling for sexual assault, but that it was for the attack in December instead of open up a whole can of worms she couldn't talk about all over again.

"Oh, you didn't say anything about it last week?" Polly seemed hurt by the omission.

"Well, I was trying it out last week really. I wasn't totally convinced it was worth my while going. You know how sceptical I am of these talking about your feelings sessions." Piper shrugged and drank a gulp of her wine.

"Well I think it's a good thing. You weren't really facing this head on before, but it seems like you've finally got your head in the right place to get the help you need. And you've also drunk less wine than me tonight, so it's getting better I think?" Polly's intonation said she wanted Piper to verify that as being right.

"Yeah, I guess." She shrugged, while avoiding Polly's eyes.

"What? It isn't getting better?"

"No. I mean, yes it is." Piper sighed at not being able to convey her thoughts and emotions in a way that her best friend could hope to understand.

"It's complicated."

"It always is when you're involved P. What's complicated?"

Piper fidgeted with the stem of her wine glass, not sure whether to talk to her friend about this or not.

"Piper, you can tell me. Are you drinking again?"

"No! I've been really good."

"Your Mother? Has she been setting you up on dates again?"

"No, I've barely heard from her actually."

"Alex then?"

"It's not really Alex…."

"Which means it is really Alex. Have you two kissed and made up now?"

"No. I've not heard from her since we argued on Sunday."

"Oh. Is that what's wrong with you? Alex isn't pandering to your every need?"

"Fuck off. It's not like that." Polly sensed she had hit a raw nerve with that joke comment.

"I was only joking P. Maybe she thinks you need some space?" Polly leaned against the couch with the side of her head, regarding Piper carefully.

"Maybe. Or she's sulking because I won't do everything on her terms."

Polly was puzzled. "What terms?"

"When she wanted me to use her lawyer."

"Ah yes, the lawyer you chose yourself to prove the point that you don't have to do everything on her terms."

"Exactly. I'm quite capable of working things out on my own."

"And this is why you're not in a happy place? Because Alex offered to give you her lawyer's number and you didn't want it?"

"Ugh!" Piper dropped her head back onto the couch briefly and closed her eyes.

"Not just that. There's other stuff as well. I just – You know what, it doesn't fucking matter. Tonight was a time to celebrate a new direction for PoPi and I'm not going to put a dampener on that. We've had far too much depressing news lately and we should celebrate the good things when they happen. Let's enjoy the moment and finish that bottle so I can make the subway." Piper changed the subject to one of Polly's favourites – Pete, and the subject of Alex and counselling was dropped without haste.

XXXXX

They'd had a really good meeting with a company in Providence on Thursday morning and Nicky was in the mood to celebrate, persuading Alex to drive them to Province Town despite her reservations.

"Come on, it will be good to kick back and relax!"

"The fact that it's the gayest holiday destination on the east coast has absolutely nothing to do with your choosing here in particular then?"

"Of course not!" Nicky scoffed.

"Yeah, right." Alex shook her head.

"Your song is on Stretch." Nicky leaned over and turned the volume up on the radio so the drum beat was pounding through the car. "Whoah Black Betty, bam-a-lam…" Nicky belted out whilst grinning at Alex and drumming her palms on the dash, stopping only for air guitar mimes. Alex resisted the urge to join in and tried to hide the smile forming on her face as her friend bounced around in the passenger seat for the duration of the song.

The song faded out and Alex turned the volume back down as the radio host started talking.

"Better now?"

"Much. Gotta love me some Ram Jam." Nicky pushed her hair back into place as they turned into the main car park and Alex parked up, cutting the engine. They pulled their bags out and headed to a little hotel on the main beach area, checking into their rooms and agreeing to meet up in an hour. Alex got a quick shower and changed into some skinny black jeans and a black silk shirt which she kept open to half way down her chest, applying some red lipstick and her trademark eyeliner before pulling her black heels on.

Nicky whistled as she walked down the staircase to meet her.

"Nice Vause! Very nice! If you need a hand getting out of those tight jeans later on, I'd be happy to oblige." Nicky winked as Alex got to the bottom.

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I can handle it." The taller woman smiled.

"Well, I've picked up that red nail polish for my toes if you change your mind." Nicky's eyebrows danced as she pushed Alex towards the door.

"Seriously?"

"No. But I'll go and get some if it will get your juices flowing."

Alex scrunched her face and pointed towards a bar over the road. "My juices will be safe behind a dam of fidelity thank you very much."

"Well there's a fuckin' first."

They ordered a couple of beers from the bar and headed over to a booth to check out the menu. Nicky downed half of her cold bottle as Alex perused the burgers.

"Someone's a thirsty bird."

"You'd better believe it. Same again? " Nicky was already on her way to the bar and brought back a couple more beers for them before speaking again. "So are you going to lighten up any time soon? Cos I gotta tell you, I'll drop your ass tonight if your mopey face interferes with my gaydar beams."

"I'm not mopey." Alex scowled at her.

"Sure you are. You've been mopey since Sunday, when Chapmangate happened."

Alex rolled her eyes and gripped the menu harder, having nowhere to hide from Nicky's piercing eyes.

"So I've waited 4 days already for you to lighten up or vent or talk about your feelings and shit. So far, nada. This is like my first holiday for 6 months and you're killing me with this strong and silent vibe right now."

"Nicky…."

"So, what's the deal?"

"I don't want to talk about this. If I wanted to talk about it, I probably would have by now." The brunette clenched her jaw and kept her eyes on the food options, silently hoping Nicky would leave it alone.

"How about 20 questions then? OK. I know it's a Chapman thing already…..I just need to establish a motive…..Has she dumped you?"

"No!"

"Has she gone all bunny boiler obsessed with you?"

"No Nicky."

"Has she given you an STD?"

"Nicky! Eww."

"That wasn't a no…."

"It was a no."

"Blue labia?"

"What?"

"It's like the girl equivalent of blue balls."

"Gross. You're so very gross."

"Also not a no. I think I'm getting warmer…."

"You're not getting warmer. You're getting into a line of questioning that is none of your damned business."

"OK…..I'm sensing you'd rather share than let me finish my questions now." Nicky raised her eyebrows, waiting for Alex to break her silence.

"Jesus H Christ!" Alex ran her hand through her hair before lifting her glasses onto her head. "Look, we had an argument on Sunday. She won't let me help her, with like, ANYTHING at the moment. She's a complete control freak over everything and gets pissy if I try and offer help. I feel like I can't do right for doing everything wrong and I'm not going to apologise for it every time." Alex sighed and rubbed her face with her palm before taking a few big gulps of her beer.

"OK. That's progress." Nicky shrugged.

Alex put her bottle down a little heavier than expected.

"No Nic, it isn't. That's the whole fucked up point. Piper always used to prefer it when I made decisions and told her how to do something. I can't get my head around the fact it's the same person I'm in a relationship with, yet a whole different person at the same time…It's like I know her inside and out, but I don't know her at all. All the rules have changed and I haven't got a copy of them to refer to. I don't know whether to call her out on bullshit, take the punches and hope she comes around or ignore it and let her do the running. It's fucked up every which way I look at it."

"Wow…..probably NOT an STD then."

"An STD I could at least sort with a trip to Walgreens." Alex bemoaned as she peeled the label off her bottle.

"It's fucked up when you're wishing you had an STD, I gotta tell you."

"I know." Alex stretched her arms above her head before pressing her palms down on the table.

"I'm no expert….but have you tried calling her?"

"No. I took the 'let her do the running' option on this one. No fucking idea if that option leads to a trap door, but I wasn't in a mulling the options kind of mood when I chucked her out of the van."

"Right. But 4 days have passed since then. You could have chosen any other option since that day."

"Why should I Nic? I always do the running. I always drop whatever I'm doing to pick her up, drop her off, call and check she's eating. Why the fuck can't she call me hey? Why can't she pick up the phone and see how the Rigoveri contract has gone this week? Maybe even apologise for acting like a kid with her tantrum?" Alex was getting increasingly animated as she spoke and the frustration at the situation she was in was emanating from every pore of her pale skin.

Nicky drank some more beer and thought for a while before answering when it was clear that Alex was finished venting.

"I don't know dude. I don't know the answers to any of those questions."

"You and me both."

"I do know that this woman gets to you like nobody I've ever seen. She broke your heart once and I can see she's capable of doing it again. Maybe you see that too and that's why you're so messed up." Nicky spoke softly now, watching her friend carefully as she spoke to check she wasn't crossing a line by talking about a forbidden topic.

Alex felt a sudden lump in her throat and she tried to swallow it down with another swig of her beer, taking her time to hide her discomfort from Nicky.


	65. Chapter 65

**A/N: I really like that there are diametrically opposed views on whether Piper or Alex should be the one to offer an olive branch. It means I've written them both sympathetically in this, which is what I was hoping for. Equally, there are a lot of people who see both sides and just want a happy Vauseman! I'm taken aback by one of my recent reviewers telling me I'm handling the sexual assault storyline so well - it really means the world to me that you say that as I'm conscious that it's an extremely sensitive subject and I want to get the balance right of story progression / banter / tenderness and angst all around that central plotline. As a first time writer of FanFic, I'm relieved!**

 **I was going to pick this chapter up with Alex and Nicky in the bar, but I decided to keep this one focused on Piper and come back to them in the next chapter. Let me know what you think and thanks for all your lovely reviews and kind words - you're an amazing bunch :-)**

Piper was up early and made a veggie smoothie to go with her toast for breakfast. She was dressed in a black pant suit and white cotton blouse, mostly for the meeting with her new lawyer later. If she was dressed for business, it looked like she meant business was her thinking behind the selection. Polly had insisted she didn't need to come in later as she had enough to deal with today, so she opted to drive the short journey to Queensboro in the comfort of her car instead of risking getting soaked by the expected rain later. Picking up the letters she had about the pending court case and the addresses she needed, she locked up and got in her car to join the rush hour traffic as it chugged through the city.

Strangely, she wasn't nearly as nervous about seeing Julie as she was the lawyer later. Even though she knew that she wasn't the one on trial this time, she couldn't help but feel like some sick twist of fate would see the tables turned and she would find herself in cuffs. She was hoping that someone was going to call her up eventually and say they had way more evidence than they ever needed and she didn't need to testify after all.

As she sat in the traffic, heading through the underpass, she thought back to last week when she was making this trip with Alex driving her. Her girlfriend had soothed her hand and been reassuring with her words as they got closer. A week later and she hadn't gotten as much as a text message from her this time. It was very clearly a case of the ball being in Piper's court on the next move she thought to herself.

Eventually parking outside the office block, Piper headed up to Julie's floor and reported to the Reception desk. Julie didn't have her waiting long before she came outside to greet her warmly.

"Hey Piper, good to see you again." She smiled and gestured towards her office with her arm.

"Hi. Yeah, the week flew by huh?" Piper walked in front of her and headed towards the same seat that she sat in last time.

"You want a coffee? I was going to have one, so it's no trouble."

"Yeah, latte please."

Julie dipped her head outside of her office to place the drinks order with the Receptionist before closing it again quietly and walking to sit down opposite.

"Looks like the heavens are going to open later I think. I hope you brought an umbrella?"

"Oh, I drove here today. I noticed you had some parking when my girlfriend dropped me off last week, so I parked in a visitor bay just by the door. No getting wet for me!" Piper smiled.

"Ah, you're slumming it without the girlfriend to chauffeur you this week huh? Alex wasn't it?" Julie looked at her notes quickly.

"Yeah, that's her."

"You didn't want the moral support this week then?"

"No. Well, I think she's busy anyway at the moment. She's got a big contract at work to sort out, so she'll be all over town sorting that out I expect."

"That sounds like you didn't ask her…Does she know you're here for another appointment today?"

"Yeah of course! I mean, I told her last week that I was booking another appointment. I'm sure she will have remembered that." Piper shrugged as there was a knock at the door and Julie rose to get their drinks before sitting back down again.

"Thanks." Piper took her coffee and put it onto the table in front of her before smoothing down her jacket.

"You don't see a lot of each other then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it sounds like you haven't seen her if you aren't really sure what she is doing today is all. How often do you guys see each other?"

"Um, it's not fixed really. Just as and when I guess."

"Oh! I didn't realise it was a casual thing…It sounded like you guys were pretty serious last time…." Julie checked her notes again. "This is the second time you've been in a relationship with Alex though, right?"

"Yeah."

"Was it casual the first time as well?"

Piper pursed her lips, aware of how odd this looked to an outsider and finding it difficult to know how to explain it.

"No." Piper laughed at the absurdity of what their relationship might look like as a casual hook up and shook her head to confirm it. "Alex and I don't do casual when we're together, no matter how much we try. We're full on crazy, obsessed and in love or at each other's throats and manipulating each other in some weird sense of vengeance over being hurt by something the other did."

Julie remained silent, only raising her eyebrows to encourage Piper to continue.

Piper sighed and fidgeted with her fingernails in her lap before continuing. "Alex and I fell in lust, then love in a very short space of time when we first met. We were obsessed with each other and I followed Alex….well, everywhere just to be near her. But the flip side of that is that both of us are very jealous and we both have a temper. We're very passionate people." Piper shrugged as though that explained anything at all.

"That doesn't sound like the kind of relationship that would be casual if you got involved for a second time then." Julie chuckled and took a drink from her mug.

"Let's just say, we went from zero to a hundred pretty early on in the sequel…. So, we both still have those traits, only now they come with baggage four years down the line."

"What kind of baggage?"

"The kind you get when you've been single for a while, the kind you get from being in prison…"

"That's to be expected. So how are you both dealing with the baggage then?"

"Honestly? With a toxic combination of avoidance and stealth sometimes I think." Piper said without humour.

"OK…. Is that how you always dealt with problems like baggage when you were together the first time?"

Piper thought for a moment and looked through the window as she sipped her coffee.

"You know, it isn't when I think about it. We used to argue, like throwing things in hotel rooms and screaming argue. I would normally be the one who stormed out, probably because I felt like I was repeating the same things over and over. But then I'd always come back eventually. Alex would have calmed down and be sorry for whatever I was blaming her for and we'd be back into crazy and obsessed love again. But the arguments got more frequent and the crazy and obsessed love in between got to be too much of a roller coaster for me…."

"And so?"

"So….I bailed on her. " Piper said simply as she looked out of the window again, watching the raindrops start to fall against the glass. The clouds had darkened, as though reflecting the topic they were discussing and the rain drops were few but heavy as they splashed against the transparent surface in front of her blue eyes.

"You say that as though you regret it. Do you?"

"Yeah, I do. I walked out on Alex within an hour of her finding out that her Mom had passed away while we were in France. I left the love of my life at the very point she had never needed me more." Piper finished the last sentence with barely a whisper of the words that she found so difficult to say on so many occasions before. A tear snaked it's way down her cheek as she tried to avoid Julie's eyes. She sniffed as she stood to look out of the window, watching the rain drops gather momentum as they combines and tricked down at an ever increasing pace towards a heavy landing 10 floors down from where they started their journey.

"I know what you're thinking and it's nothing I haven't thought and felt about myself already since that day." Piper didn't even turn around to talk as she felt herself drawn to the patterns on the window as a distraction from facing the topic on conversation.

"What is that?"

"What a cold, heartless bitch I was. How my own self-preservation was more important than someone I tell you I was deeply in love with, so how could it have truly been love at all? Am I close?" Piper finally turned to see Julie's expression.

"I think things must have seemed hopeless and it took some guts to do something like that in those circumstances."

"You think I was brave?!" Piper was incredulous.

"I think it's the most cowardly thing I've ever done! The brave thing to do would have been to stay…. To suck up all the shitty things that were happening and just be there for her you know? I could have walked out later, I could have packed my damned suitcase any day of the week. But to leave the one person who looked after me and loved me so much she'd have done anything for me at the very moment her only real family passed away while she was alone and away from home…..That decision will eat away at me for the rest of my life because it has directly impacted everything that happened since. My whole world got way shittier ever since that day. At no point have I looked back and patted myself on the back for doing that. I needed to leave, I knew it then and I knew it every day since. But I didn't have to leave like that. Nobody deserves that, especially not the one person you gave your heart to and never took it back from…."

Julie rose from her seat and picked a box of tissues up from her desk, walking to join Piper at the window and offering the box.

"You love her." It wasn't even phrased like it was a question and Piper didn't get the impression that Julie was expecting her to answer.

Piper pulled a tissue from the box and blew her nose to stop the incessant sniffing she was irritating herself with. "I never wanted to. God how I wanted to stop loving her, stop thinking about her. To cauterise the arteries around my heart to stop them from bleeding every time I thought I heard her name or saw her long dark hair weaving through a crowd….Do you have any idea how painful it is to want to close the book on something so damaging to your sanity, but your heart and mind won't let you? Instead, making you live in perpetual regret that you'll never again feel what you used to have with that one person you have hurt so badly they will never forgive you? Like some sick fucking Moebius loop of unrequited love and self-loathing it was."

"Come and sit down. You've barely touched your coffee." Julie sat back in the comfy chair again and nodded for Piper to do the same, putting the tissues on the table in between them.

"You found each other again though. That's at least given you an opportunity to deal with those feelings hasn't it?"

Piper wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and gulped her coffee.

"It's stopped the constant looking for her in a crowd because I feel like I have my safety blanket back again. So there's definitely a feeling of being less anxious generally now I know she's back in my life. There's just….a lot unsaid at the moment I guess."

"And what's stopping you from saying it?"

Piper thought for a moment, struggling to pinpoint exactly what it was that meant she hadn't said these things to Alex.

"Fear I think. Fear that we will argue and she won't forgive me. Fear that I'll lose her again. Fear that I'm not the person she wants me to be anymore."

"Piper…..when you were talking about you and Alex first getting together, you said that it was you who walked away when you argued. It was you who walked away and you who came back. It was you who left her in France. Did Alex ever walk out on you?"

The blonde thought back, trying to think of a time when Alex had been so angry she had stormed out and slammed a door behind her. "Never…..Alex always stayed. Whether I was throwing things at her or giving her the silent treatment, she fronted it out. She's not a woman who ever backs down, no matter what the situation."

"So what makes you think she'd leave you now?"

"I'm….well, I'm not the same person." Piper was puzzled.

"Do you still walk away when you argue?"

"Yes."

"Do you come back?"

"Yes."

"Does Alex wait for you when you do that?"

"She does."

"And does she forgive you or apologise like she used to?"

"Uhm…..yeah, I guess so."

"Maybe you're not all that different to who you used to be after all. In fact, you both seem pretty consistent."

Piper rubbed her palm over her face. "Pretty consistently bad for each other, yeah."

"You called her your safety blanket earlier. Why is that a bad thing?"

"I don't know….Because she's a safety blanket that tries to smother me at times?" Piper offered the words as though they were a question and she sought Julie's agreement.

Julie chuckled lightly. "Nice analogy."

"Well, it's true. I've fended for myself for the last 2 years, in and out of prison and in some pretty dire situations. Alex can't help but take over sometimes and make decisions for me and it drives me mad that she thinks I'm not capable of the smallest of decisions without her."

"She dropped you off here last week, so she knows why you're here, right?"

"Yeah, she knows about the attack at Sandy's and the thing that happened in the showers in prison."

"OK…and you've been back together for how long when you told her about both of those things?"

"Well, the thing at the bar happened before Christmas. She found out when I was in hospital, so like 6 weeks ago I guess. We got together when I came home from hospital and she was taking care of me. Then I told her about the prison thing like…2 weeks ago?"

"Right. So if you guys were the centre of each other's universe for say 2 years…..You get back together in some pretty stressful circumstances when you've been sexually assaulted and Alex takes care of you…then a couple of weeks later, you tell her that you've been raped while you were in prison…Correct so far?"

"Yeah…"

"You said earlier that you gave Alex your heart and never took it back again. In the time you've been apart, you've been sexually assaulted twice when she wasn't there to protect you, care for you, love you and now you're back together. I think she's going to want to hold onto you with every fibre of her body to make damned sure you never get hurt again." Julie let her words settle into Piper's mind before speaking again.

"I'm saying it as I see it Piper. I'm no relationship counsellor, that's not my bag I'm afraid. But I do see the impact that sexual assault can have on those people closest to you and one of the things I see is partners and family members smothering those people who are living with the effects of sexual assault because they don't know what else to do to ease their pain…They try to protect them, love them and nurture them to the point where you can't breathe and you find it suffocating. That's not an unusual reaction at all, it's perfectly understandable. The safety blanket who smothers you hits the nail on the head there."

"So, are you saying I should be grateful for it?" Piper was confused about if this was advice or a statement.

"I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying what you are both going through is completely normal. There are no rights or wrongs in the way you're both dealing with this. But you have the advantage of being with someone who is the love of your life – to use your own words, who lets you rage and waits for you. If she does nothing else right now, you both know and understand those reactions to dealing with your baggage. Don't change that and you both have common ground to work with. Don't bottle it up, avoid it, or turn it into a different kind of emotion. Deal with it like your instincts tell you to and you'll work it out. Don't try to be a different person Piper, she loves you – and whatever baggage comes with you."

 **A/N (2): ejm137 - are you reading my mind?!**


	66. Chapter 66

**A/N: Hey, thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. Lots of new follows and favourites from binge readers too, which I love as it tells me you're in it for the long haul! This one is a chapter of two halves and picks up from the night in Province Town with Nicky and Alex. I'm hoping to find some time next week to write the next chapter and keep up with a weekly post. Let me know your thoughts on this one and I'll try not to keep you hanging, I promise ;-)**

THURSDAY NIGHT

Alex and Nicky ordered burgers off the menu and ate in relative silence as they devoured them between moans of enjoyment. Alex had been glad that Nicky's mouth was full of something other than her own special brand of 'helpful advice' as it gave her an opportunity to switch the subject from talking about Piper finally. Licking the relish off her fingers, Alex nodded towards the empty pool table as she washed her food down with the last of her beer.

"Sure, I'll take your money Vause." She grinned as they left the booth to secure their use of the table.

"Who said anything about playing for money? You never paid me the last lot you lost to me at Poussey's on poker night. I'm not interested in playing for another 'I owe you'. I want to enjoy my winnings tonight thanks."

"I bought the take out the other night, so I did pay you back!"

"That's not paying me back, that's paying your way you tight ass! Which reminds me, I got the rooms tonight, so you can pay for dinner before you run out on the check."

"Fuck that, can't you claim it back on expenses? This is a business trip remember?" Nicky started racking the balls up as Alex found the cues.

"Tighter than a Nun's twat you are. I suppose you'll be wanting another beer adding to the tab you're not paying now do you?"

"Of course. Now I know it's on expenses." Nicky winked and chalked up the cues as Alex went to the bar.

Returning with a couple of cold beers, Alex saw the table was all set up.

"OK Vause, it's starting to fill up with chicks in here now. What are we playing for, loser has to chat up the ugly best friend of the winner's choosing?"

"Ugh, no."

"OK…..well let's buddy up and make it a foursome with those hot chicks over there then. They look like they're up for a good time!" Nicky waggled her eyebrows and Alex caught her arm on her way to make the offer.

"Not tonight Nic. I'm not in the mood."

"You sure a little fun with blondie over there wouldn't cheer you up a bit?" Nicky offered half-heartedly.

"I'm sure OK. That's pretty much the last thing I need right now actually."

"Redhead?...Kidding!" Nicky raised her hands in surrender and lifted her beer to make a toast.

"To yet another night of not getting laid in honour of being forced to be a decent human being."

Alex rolled her eyes. "That was a terrible toast, but thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Ok, how about this then….. If I win, you have to strip naked and run into the sea out the back of our hotel until only your crazy head is above water…." Nicky scowled. "I'm not finished. THEN….you have to walk back out again shouting at the top of your voice the following words – 'Alex Vause is my wet dream'. Keep repeating it until you make it back to the hotel where I'll have your clothes, a towel if you're lucky and only a tiny smug expression on my face."

"Fuck off! I'm not doing that."

"There's no point in betting if you're so sure you're going to lose every challenge I offer."

"I didn't say I thought I'd have to actually do it."

"But you're too chicken to accept it either. It's OK Nic. I know you've seen me play enough to know it's a dead cert that I'll take whatever you lay on the table. It kinda doesn't matter whether it's bottle caps or money. Your pride goes with it every time anyhow right? You want me to play left handed or something to help you out maybe?" Alex smirked and drank her beer as she pulled a coin from her pocket to toss for break.

"I'll take that fucking mermaid-shaped gauntlet – and raise you this in return….If I win, you paint my toe nails."

"Pfft. That's the best you've got?"

"In your underwear. And I get a photo to keep me warm at night."

"No fucking deal. You'd use that against me at any point in time. No way."

"You think you're going to lose?"

"No. I think I'm going to win. But I wouldn't be bothered in the least by the forfeit if it wasn't being recorded forever. Take the photo off the package and I'm in."

"I'll barter with you and agree not to Snapchat it from my phone to the highest bidder. Deal?" Nicky held her hand out, signalling the negotiation was over.

"I'm recording your mermaid proclamations of my sexual prowess then. Fair's fair."

"Fine."

"I do hope you're not about to ruin my Darryl Hannah fantasies when I pot the black. Heads or tails?" Alex flipped the coin in the air.

XXXXX

Alex won the game and Nicky insisted the night was still young and it should be best of three. They got more beers and Nicky won the next two, at which point Alex said she'd pay the tabs for the rest of the month if they went to best of five. Both women had consumed more beer than they had for quite a while when they were tied at two games each and it was taking a long time to finish the fifth game. Nicky was moving the cue ball to a better angle when Alex wasn't looking to increase her chances. She really wasn't fancying a dip in the sea in the depths of winter right now, so it was better for her health to make sure she didn't get pneumonia tonight.

XXXXX

"I'm telling you that cue ball was right against the cushion and there's no way you could have screwed that back to line the black up!"

"Whatever. What colour bra are you wearing? Is it a racy little number?" Nicky waggled her eyebrows as they half- staggered back to the hotel.

"You fucking cheated! It's a forfeit if you cheat!"

"Listen Vause, grow some fucking tits and woman the fuck up. You're whining like some wannabe prom queen who didn't get to be the princess at the party. You lost, I won. Suck it up and let me think about the strip show will ya?" Nicky punched her on the arm and cackled as she started walking backwards in front of Alex, rubbing her hands together and grinning from ear to ear.

Alex was wearing a bath robe and a steely glare when Nicky opened the door to her knocking 20 mins later.

"Well hellooooo!" Nicky blocked the door with her body while she looked Alex up and down in a distinctly over the top guffaw.

"Will you let me in please? I don't want anyone seeing me scuttling around the corridor like some damned call girl."

"Isn't that exactly what you're doing though? Calling on me to strip and fulfil my fantasy? Hmm?"

"You know what, fuck this. How much will it cost to buy myself out of this?"

"Nu-uh. No cash equivalent. I promise I won't be an ass anymore though. Come in." Nicky moved aside quickly before Alex turned to leave.

The brunette couldn't care less about strutting around in her underwear in front of Nicky, her best friend had seen her changing enough over the years to know the cat-calls from her fuzzy friend were teasing and she wouldn't have made the bet if she thought Alex would be massively uncomfortable. It was the kneeling down and painting her toes that was the humiliating bit for Alex and she didn't want it stringing out any longer than necessary. Especially since she really wanted to hit her pillow and crash right now.

"Did you bring the polish?" Nicky rolled her pants up and laid back on her bed.

"Yeah. Black's the only colour I've got."

"Shade."

"What?"

"Black isn't a colour, it's a shade, like white." Nicky shrugged at a perplexed pair of green eyes. "Nevermind. I don't want to talk rainbows right now. Lose the robe then Vause and let me savour the moment." Nicky nodded as she reached over for her phone.

"You post any of this on social media and I swear to God, I'll kick your ass so hard Nicholls." Alex warned before letting the robe drop from her shoulders and kneeling on the end of the bed to unscrew the nail polish cap. "And I'm not promising a quality job here as I've had a lot to drink, so there'll be no decals."

"No what?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Let's see that sexy smile then Vause…mmm, bend down more….yeah, now look over the top of your glasses at me….."

Alex rolled her eyes at first, but let Nicky have her fun for a bit and bantered with her before focusing on finishing the paint job as quickly as she could.

XXXXX

Alex had eaten breakfast on her own and checked out by 9am, leaving Nicky to sleep in while she sat on a bench looking out onto the beach near to where the car was parked. Flipping her phone between her hands, she looked at the last time Piper had texted her and saw it was nearly a week ago already. She had hoped that the blonde might have gotten over her tantrum by now and called and she couldn't help but feel disappointed that she hadn't. It made Alex feel bad for not just giving in and making contact already. She knew Piper had another meeting with Julie this morning and she wanted to wish her luck, but she struggled to know how to start a message when she opened the text box.

Just after 10, Nicky dropped down beside her on the cold wood, looking over at the few words on her phone screen.

"Morning. Need some help there Shakespeare?"

"What? No." Alex flipped her screen off and stuffed it into her back pocket.

"The longer you leave it, the harder that text is going to be. You know that, right?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "It's a text. How hard can it be?"

"You tell me. You've been writing it for an hour because I've seen you from my window. If we're counting your words per minute ratio, you'd suck in a typing pool."

"I haven't been writing it for an hour."

"OK. Were you just staring at the blank screen hoping that she'd send you something through the telepathic will of your broken heart?"

"I haven't got a broken heart Nic." Alex stood and straightened out her jeans before striding over to the car. Nicky stood to follow her, slinging her duffle bag over her shoulder.

"Oh yeah, I remember now. You haven't- because you're busy reinforcing the walls around it in case there's an attack of the blonde hair and blue-eyed variety. Yeah, that'll keep it safe." Nicky threw her bag in the trunk before climbing into the passenger seat and belting up.

"I prefer you when you're too hung over to speak." Alex started the car and punched in the zip code to get them on their way before switching the radio on loud enough to discourage any further conversation.

XXXXX

Piper's meeting with her Lawyer had gone well and she really liked him. He reassured her that her experience as a witness would be completely different to what she went through before she ended up in Litchfield and she really should not be worrying about this. He wasn't much older than Piper was and had short, wiry brown hair and brown eyes that seemed to twinkle when he smiled. They hit it off immediately and Piper relaxed quite quickly as she went through the main points of the case so he could get more information from the police files after she left. They talked for close to 3 hours about the case, with Piper keeping steering the conversation back to it if he veered off to make enquiries about her family or work. It wasn't as much that she was being secretive about them, more that she was conscious of how much this was costing her and she wanted to get the best value from every minute she was paying him for. He was starting to go on another of those tangents when Piper's phone buzzed with a message.

"It's such an expensive place to live when you're on your own though isn't it? Do you know what I mean?" He probed as Piper pulled her phone from her bag to see if it was Polly needing help at the store.

"Yeah…..totally…..it is….expensive in New York." Piper swiped her screen on to see a message from Nicky.

'Hey Blondie, how's it goin? I'm bringing your girl home soon and I thought maybe you might want to talk to her. You could maybe use your words, both of you – like a conversation or something? Just putting the idea out there. We'll be back in Brooklyn in maybe 3 hours if you want to think about dinner plans ;-)'

Piper rolled her eyes at the match making effort and was about to put her phone away when it buzzed again. She swiped the screen to find a Snapchat notification which had a photo of Alex in a lacy red bra and matching panties…on all fours….looking to the camera over the top of those sexy fucking secretary glasses, eyebrow raised and red lips pouting slightly.

Fuck. Piper's eyes widened as the Snapchat image counted down 3 seconds and disappeared. She blinked at the empty screen for a couple of seconds, her mind running with all kinds of questions. Where the Hell had Nicky got that photo from? How recent was it? Was Alex cheating on her with someone else? Had Alex posed for it to be sent to her to remind her what she was missing? Why the Hell hadn't she reacted sooner to save the damned thing too?!

"Everything Ok Piper?" The Lawyer asked as she frantically tapped on the screen and smoothed her hair back as she tried to regain some composure.

"Hmm? Yeah, fine." She put her phone down within reach and attempted to re-focus on their meeting.

"OK, great. So I was just saying that I'll need to get hold of those police reports before we meet again. I can get in touch with…."

Piper's phone beeped with another message and she snapped it up quickly to read it.

'If you play your cards right, you might get that sight at the bottom of your bed this weekend ;-)'

Gritting her teeth, Piper tapped out a quick reply.

'How the fuck did you get that?' She stared at the screen, waiting to see the dots to show Nicky was replying, but all she got was the confirmation the message had been sent.

XXXXX

Piper wrapped up the meeting with her new Lawyer and was at home now, cursing Nicky for not replying to her messages.

'Seriously Nicky, just tell me how old that photo is. A fucking year is all I want!'

The silence was driving her crazy and she knew she would get hot-headed if she called Alex about it right now, so she opted to run a bath and try to relax and think about other things. The legal meeting had gone fine and she felt comfortable around the man who would represent her, so she was happier that at least she had someone fighting her case in the background now. The cost she would need to worry about later, but at least she could feel more prepared as the court date approached. The meeting with Julie in the morning had been an interesting one as she hadn't expected to spend it talking about her relationship with Alex, but it had started her thinking about seeing these events from her girlfriend's perspective a little more than before. She could understand that Alex's natural instinct to take over and make decisions that she thought showed her caring for her girlfriend were just amped up all the more by events that Piper had shared. By pushing her away and giving her shit for doing that, Piper was making her feel more helpless. She rinsed her hair off one last time before climbing out of the bath to dry off and get dressed. She had made a decision and needed to act on it now. Picking up her phone, she opened a text box and sat down to type a message.

'Hey Alex. Would it be OK if I called round to see you tonight?'

Kiss, or no kiss? She's your girlfriend you dork, there has to be a kiss. Adding an x at the end of the message, she pressed send and went to dry her hair and put some light make up on. Regardless of whether Alex wanted to see her, she planned to sit outside of her apartment until she came home so she could put an end to what was becoming a painful silence for her now. Having Alex back in her life had filled a hole she had all but forgotten that she had been carrying around since they split and she was basically allowing the hole to grow back again even in the space of a week without the brunette to talk to. As she picked up her car keys, her phone beeped with a message.

'Hey, yeah I'm home now so call around whenever. It will be good to see you. X'

Piper grinned at Alex's reply, relieved that she wasn't on the receiving end of a cold shoulder after a week of silence

It was 2 hours later when Piper was touching up her make-up in her car mirror in the parking lot outside of Alex's apartment. She's tried to rehearse how to start the conversation and every possible permutation of what her girlfriend's replies might be at each stage, but she found there were too many possible responses to cover every eventuality and the Chinese take-out was getting cold while she practised. She straightened out her skinny jeans and headed towards the elevator for the top floor. Knocking confidently as she stood outside the apartment, panic started to set in about whether Alex was already planning to head out tonight and she might not even let her in. What if she had company already? Before the thoughts could gather too much pace, the door opened and Alex stood with a black ribbed vest top and black yoga pants, towelling her hair. She smiled as Piper handed her 2 dozen red roses by way of an introduction to the conversation.

"Wow, thanks. These are beautiful." Alex reached out and took the flowers from Piper, who was suddenly struggling to remember the first line of her speech.

"I'm sorry. I mean, these are to say I'm sorry. I'm saying it as well though, so I don't expect the flowers to do all the work…."

Alex raised her eyebrows, letting Piper ramble at an increasing pace as it seemed impossible to stop the flow of words at this point.

"…so I just wanted to say that. Like, before anything else, so you don't slam the door in my face. Because I have take-out. In case you haven't eaten. I mean, if you have already eaten, that's OK. You can just…keep it in the fridge for later or something. But could I have the beef and black bean sauce, because I haven't eaten and-"

"Pipes. Come in will you? I think the food will be getting cold." Alex stood to one side and let her through the door before closing it softly behind her. Piper stood just inside the lounge with the take out bag hanging awkwardly from her hand. "Um, are you going away somewhere?" She nodded towards the suitcase standing outside the laundry room.

"Oh, no. I just got back this afternoon. I've been away with Nicky on a trip to see a few potential clients for a few days."

"Oh, OK."

"Shall I take that?" Alex reached out for the take out and went to get a vase for the flowers.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I'm saying that a lot tonight."

"You are." Alex smiled at her before getting out some plates and forks for the food. "You want a drink? Help yourself. I'll just put these into some water and join you in a minute. Did you get me pad thai?" Piper nodded. "Of course you did. Can you pour me a glass of white wine from the chiller then please?" Alex trimmed the stems off the bottoms of the roses before setting them into a vase and placing then on the table. She leaned down to Piper on her way to her chair. "They are gorgeous babe, thank you." She pecked her on the cheek quickly before sitting down to her food.

"So…." Piper started as they ate their meals at the table.

"So…" Alex added.

"OK, you're not going to make this easy for me then. I get it." Piper studied her plate as she thought about what to say next.

"Pipes, I'm not doing anything."

"Exactly!"

Alex raised her eyebrows slightly, before lifting her glasses up into her hair. It was clear to her that something was on Piper's mind and she was trying to let the blonde explain it of her own volition without feeling pressured to explain something she wasn't ready to articulate. The brunette tempered her instinct to cut in and interpret Piper's thoughts and emotions and instead focused her efforts on ensuring it didn't turn into an argument. She had missed Piper and was relieved to hear from her this afternoon so the last thing she wanted to do was frighten her away again. It felt like tempting a stray into her apartment to feed and care for it, when you were worried that it might find an exit and run away from you into the oncoming traffic.

"Can I take your coat maybe?" Alex stood to help Piper out of her coat and hang it up before sitting back down again. "There. I felt like I was eating with the delivery girl for a moment and it was weird." The brunette carried on eating her food, trying to bring a touch of levity to the increasingly thick silence that Piper's thinking was filling the room with.

It was a couple of minutes before Piper took another gulp of wine and decided to break the silence that she had created.

"So, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being a bitch and ruining our day last weekend. I wanted to make the decision about the Lawyer and I felt like you were pressuring me into taking your advice." Alex tried to cut in, but Piper held her hand up to stop her. "You might think that sounds stupid and maybe you didn't mean it like that at all, I'm just saying how I felt. I can't help how I feel Alex and sometimes you might think I'm a drama queen or whatever, but that's me. That's what you're taking on here….Don't try and change me Alex because I won't let you and I can't always be who you want or need me to be."

"Is that what you think I want? To change you?" Alex stopped eating and put her hand over the top of Piper's as it rested on the stem of her wine glass.

"I don't know. Maybe. I don't know if you want this version of me or the 24 year old who followed you around with puppy eyes."

Alex pushed her chair back and dropped to her knees by Piper's side, taking her hand inside both of her own.

"There is only one version and you're right here in front of me. You're both of those people and so much more besides. You're the sum of all of the experiences you've had, the good as well as the bad. They've shaped who you are and I know that there's more to learn about you from the time we've been apart and I want that. I want to know everything about you Piper Chapman. Thank you for apologising and for being honest. It's all I want from you. To never be afraid of telling me the truth, no matter what it is."

"My truths are pretty sucky at times, you should know that." Piper lifted her eyes from their hands and looked at Alex's eyes. "If you can't handle that or you want something different, well….I guess you need to tell me now. "

"I can handle it. I will handle it. If you don't run away from me and you promise me you'll stay….Work through whatever we have to deal with, but we do it together. I don't know what demons you face, but I want you to let me in Piper." Alex spoke softly and with a steely determination for her words to permeate Piper's skin with their truth.

"I know you truly mean that Alex, but I need to know you're not going to lose patience with me and dump my ass if I start to open up to you. It's incredibly fucking difficult for me to do that and I'm terrified of letting you past these walls in case you don't like what you see. I'm used to holding this shit inside and dealing you know? But all these God-damned therapy sessions are opening old wounds and I have no idea how the effects are going to come out. I'm fucking terrified quite frankly but I can't deal with that and the thought of losing you as well. I kind of feel like I have to choose one or the other at the moment."

"What are you saying Piper?" Alex sat back in her chair and released Piper's hands to hold onto the table.

"I think I'm telling you I need to choose. I can't deal with the court case and rape counselling and be your girlfriend at the same time."


	67. Chapter 67

**A/N: Welcome to the new followers! I've written this chapter several times over, all of them with a different outcome and all of them with different repercussions for Vauseman. I'm settling on this version, before I change my mind again! Thank you for your reviews on the last cliffhanger - you're all right in your own way on the reasons why Piper did that and the truth is that Piper runs away or avoids discomfort / conflict. She doesn't think about the repercussions of throwing a grenade in as she turns to run, she just wants to get the Hell out of Dodge for the most part. I'll leave it to your own interpretations for why and how they can deal with this as I do enjoy reading those reviews where you tell me what your thoughts are. Hope you have a great weekend guys!**

"I'm sorry Alex."

"Yeah, you keep saying that." Alex pulled her glasses from her hair and ran her hands through it.

"I don't know what else to say….." Piper fidgeted with her hands in her lap.

"You say it like that's the end of the conversation. Like we haven't got anything more to discuss."

"Well…is there anything more to say?" Piper looked at Alex now and saw the hurt in her eyes.

"Yes, there's more to say. You implied you're choosing between dealing with the rape counselling and court case on one side and me on the other. How the Hell can you weigh me against that Piper?!"

"That's not what I meant at all! I'm not comparing you. I thought it would make things easier. We've both got a lot going on at the moment and I think we need to focus on our own lives."

"There's that word again – 'I'. _I_ 'm sorry. _I_ think we need to focus on our own lives. _I_ think it will make things easier…How about you turn that around into a different kind of 'I' statement – I think we should talk?" The frustration was clear in Alex's tone as she pushed the words across the table, skidding them into Piper's lap to deal with the rebuke.

"Alex, I don't want to argue with you. That's not why I'm here." Piper sighed and rubbed her face. This was not any part of the conversation that she had rehearsed before coming here and she really hadn't meant for the words to be spoken aloud. But, as usual, the foot in mouth disease had already struck a familiar target and she was left dodging the bullets of her clearly hurt girlfriend in what was supposed to be a visit to apologise and wipe the slate clean.

"Why are you here then? Because I've obviously massively misunderstood what was happening from the point you turned up at my door with a bunch of flowers."

Piper sighed and stroked her hair behind her ear. "I don't know now. This was a bad idea. I think it might be better if I go." Piper rose from the table and moved to empty the rest of her plate into the trash.

"This is exactly what I can't deal with while I'm dealing with the court case." Piper's voice got a little shaky and caught in her throat as she stooped to put her plate into the dishwasher, turning quickly to pick up her coat.

"I just don't understand where this has come from Piper. I feel like I've done something wrong and you're not really explaining what that is. You came around here with flowers and apologising, then the next minute you're saying we need to break up. I'm getting whiplash here." Alex was perplexed by the sudden turn of events and sighed as she watched Piper walk towards the door.

"I guess that's something else I've managed to fuck up then. I'm sorry you're confused. I'm sorry I can't explain myself properly. I guess it's my word of the night. Sorry."

"Piper don't go. Please. I'll give you space, I'll listen. Just don't go." Piper stopped at the door, leaning against it with her hands. Alex sensed there was a chance of Piper listening to her and there was sudden pressure to do and say the right thing so the stray didn't escape into the traffic. She walked a little closer and sat on the arm of the sofa, a stride length away from the door.

"Talk to me. Tell me what's going on in your head. I promise I won't judge, just listen. Please Piper, don't leave." Alex didn't hear the pleading in her own voice, but Piper heard it loud and clear. She was taken all the way back to the day she walked out on Alex in Paris and the sudden familiarity of the situation turned her stomach. Even after everything that had happened to her in recent years, that moment was a turning point for life to go in a very dark direction and she'd spent such a long time thinking about the different lives she might have led if she had chosen different options on that day. The emotions were overwhelming and she felt like opening the door and running would be the best and worst thing for her right now. Her thoughts and emotions were spinning around inside her brain and stomach simultaneously and in opposing directions. Escape would ease the nausea and faintness she was feeling, leaning against this door and she could breathe once she was on the other side. Closing it behind her would mean leaving Alex for a second time when the brunette was pleading with her to remain. The prickly heat on the back of her neck rose and she dropped her head to try and get the blood flow regulated. She concentrated on breathing through her nose and out through her mouth to try and create a rhythm that would slow her drumming heart. A few moments of silence later the nausea overwhelmed her and she wretched as she felt the bile rising in her throat. Her stomach heaved for a second time and she threw up the take-out on the floor where she was hunched over. Alex was quickly by her side, pulling her hair back and soothing her contorting back muscles with her gentle fingers.

Piper leaned over more with her palms on her knees, continuing to throw up until it was only bile and she was sobbing as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Shit…. I'll clean that up for you." Piper gasped as she stood up a little and turned to walk away from the brunette. Alex caught her upper arm and stopped her before she was able to escape.

"Hey, it's fine. Are you OK?" Alex pressed the back of her hand against Piper's forehead to check for a fever.

"Peachy." Piper wiped at her face with her sleeve as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"It's alright." Alex was still stroking her hand up and down Piper's back as she spoke.

"Nothing about this is alright though is it?!" Piper sniffed.

"Let me clean this up. Jesus, what a fucking mess." Piper looked to the ceiling as she sniffed hard to stop her nose from running.

"I can do that. You go into the bathroom and take your time freshening up. There's a toothbrush in the cupboard by the sink that you used last time. I'll get you some iced water when you're ready. Shout me if you need anything OK?" Alex brushed strands of sweaty blonde hair behind Piper's ear and smoothed her hair away from her hot forehead. Piper was still avoiding her eyes as she nodded and walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Alex ran some hot, soapy water in the kitchen sink and walked to the spare room to find some clean clothes for Piper to wear. Passing the bathroom on the way, she could hear Piper crying behind the door and stopped to think whether attempting to talk to her right now would be a wise move. Pressing her forehead against the smooth wood, she longed to be allowed on the other side of the sudden barrier to comfort her girlfriend, but she also knew there were more difficult barriers inside that room than the wooden door right now. She was feeling totally ill equipped for dealing with this and was clearly handing everything precisely the wrong way to be any help whatsoever. Deciding to let Piper have some space to think, she walked into the spare room and got some clothes out of the drawers before putting them on the table. She cleaned up the mess by the door and was putting away the cleaning supplies when Piper walked back into the room and picked her jacket up.

"I'm sorry for puking on your floor, I think it's best if I-"

"Stop…..Just stop will you?" Alex threw the cloth into the sink with a little more force than necessary and Piper jumped.

"I don't want to hear another fucking apology from you tonight. You have NOTHING to be sorry about Piper. It's me who should be apologising for being a selfish asshole and making you feel guilty about wanting to break up with me. It's no fucking wonder you want rid of me when this is how I support you is it?" Alex sighed.

"Alex…." Piper was weary from being sick and from and argument she never wanted to start.

"Here. I got you some clean clothes to change into. Yours aren't looking or smelling too great right now." Alex nodded towards the bottoms of Piper's jeans where they were sporting unsightly splash marks.

"Thanks." Piper headed into the spare room to change into the black yoga pants and tank that Alex had handed to her before returning to the lounge.

"I got you some iced water. Have a drink of this and sit down for a minute will you? I promise I'll try not to be a dick for a full 15 minutes while you drink it OK?" Alex smiled a little as she handed her the water and Piper accepted and put her coat down.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I think there's nothing left to throw up now. I'm really s-. OK, I won't say that, but I didn't mean to throw up on your lounge floor."

"It's not like you meant to do it….Did you?" Alex raised an eyebrow at Piper.

"No! I would have chosen something far more expensive for you to get cleaned." Piper smiled in return.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alex offered as she sat next to Piper on the couch.

"About what?"

"Your panic attack."

Piper blushed as she held onto her water and felt her stomach muscles twist again.

"I don't know. It might bring on another one." She answered honestly.

"And if it does, there's no more food to deposit onto my cherry wood floor, so the clean up operation will be super quick." Alex reached over and started to soothe her palm up and down Piper's back as she sat forwards to drink the water. "How long have you been having them?"

Piper sighed. "On and off, 2 years now."

"What happened the first time you had a panic attack?"

"I didn't know it was a panic attack at the time, but it was after the rape in the showers. I started to get really anxious every time I went to the bathroom when there wasn't a shower queue. My heart would beat really fast, I'd get really hot and feel faint. I just learned to avoid the situation to avoid feeling like that."

"But you've been having them since you came out of prison, so what's the trigger outside?"

"I don't know. Situations where it brings back a memory from my past that has bad feelings associated with it, a feeling of not being able to escape to avoid the attack getting worse I guess." Piper put her glass down as she was starting to shake and it was obvious with the water moving, so she sat on her hands. Alex could feel her muscles tensed in her back and continued to move her hand up and down as she spoke.

"Do I make you feel anxious?"

"No. Of course not."

"What do you think triggered the attack you just had?"

"Paris. You asking me to stay and me being by the door about to leave brought the day right back. If I'd have left, I may not have been sick because I would be avoiding the feelings, but leaving would have meant doing exactly what I regretted doing all those years ago, so I couldn't do it."

"And how do you feel right now? Do you feel like you might have another attack?"

"My stomach is doing somersaults, but I don't think I'm going to puke. Your fancy couch is safe."

"My fancy couch just breathed a sigh of relief I think. You're shaking, are you cold?"

"No. It's just because I'm talking about it I think."

"Do you want to change the subject?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind."

"How about I put the TV on and we zone out for a while then?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

Alex reached for the remote and put some celebrity interview on for them before settling into the corner of the sofa and pulling Piper over towards her. After 5 minutes of feeling Piper quivering against her side, Alex reached back for a throw and pulled it around her shoulders. Piper leaned further still against Alex, resting her head onto her shoulder as she tried to concentrate on the celebrity recalling an anecdote from her movie set. The blonde was still shaking, so Alex pulled her onto her lap, tugging the edges of the throw around her and kissing her forehead as she pressed her against her upper body. In response, Piper put her arm around Alex's waist and ran her thumb in circles on the skin just above the brunette's hip.

Eventually, the shaking and nervous stomach went away as Piper relaxed into the inane chatter on the TV. Alex could care less what pre-agreed questions the talk show host was asking, she was focused on Piper's breathing and the feel of her body heat against her skin as they sat in comfortable silence in front of the TV. Maybe this is what they needed to do to be together. No talking, just being. There was no denying the comfort they felt in each other's arms and Alex yearned to be able to do this every night with the woman in her lap right now. Aware that Piper's breathing had evolved into a gentle snore at this point, Alex turned the volume down on the TV a little and leaned her head back into the sofa to get comfy. She didn't want to disturb Piper right now. If she were honest, she was afraid that the blonde would want to leave if she woke her up. So she opted to let herself enjoy the moment a little longer and just try and etch every feeling and sensation of this closeness to memory for fear of it not happening again. Piper nuzzled into Alex's neck as she adjusted her position and Alex couldn't help but smile that she had managed to keep the stray safe for another night.

XXXXX

Alex awoke a couple of hours later with a crick in her neck from sitting in an awkward position. Piper was still holding onto her and sleeping soundly in her lap. She pulled her glasses onto her face and squinted at the clock by the side of the room to see it was 01:30. As much as it was nice having Piper so close, neither of them would appreciate the body aches in the morning if they stayed like this, so Alex tried to move to wake Piper by sitting up a little and kissing her head.

"Pipes, come on. Let's get you into bed now babe."

"Mmmm…time is it?"

"Half one."

Piper sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Shit. I have to be at the store just after 8."

"It's OK. You can get at least 5 hours of decent sleep if you get in bed now while you're still sleepy."

"Ooh, ouch." Piper stood up and straightened herself back out after being sat in the same position for so long.

"Do you want to sleep in the spare room….or…?" Alex wasn't sure how to finish the question, but felt it was fair to ask it in the circumstances.

"Or drive home?" Piper knitted her eyebrows in confusion as Alex stood up and turned off the TV.

"Or my room I was going to say. Driving home is pointless at this time. You'll end up being more awake by the time you get back."

"Your room. Obviously." Piper rolled her eyes as she started to walk sleepily towards the door to Alex's stairs before stopping to see why Alex wasn't following her. "I'm assuming you'll be sleeping there too?"

"Yes, I will." Alex smiled and shut off the lights, locking the door before taking Piper's outstretched hand and following her upstairs to her room.


	68. Chapter 68

**A/N: Thanks for your reviews as always - massive thanks to the regular contributors. You guys are great at giving us authors feedback and it really is what makes us keep writing, so thanks for keeping up with that so regularly. I've very deliberately not defined whether Alex and Piper are still together in the last chapter because they don't know either. There will be eggshells around them and there will be an avoidance of the subject, but that suits them both at the moment. Neither woman wants to be without the other and they don't want to hurt each other either, so they're in suspense. We're moving at a slightly quicker pace towards the court case happening now as this is pivotal to the story. I know where the reviews are coming from with the calls for Alex to make Piper fight to be with her, but the timing wouldn't be right for that at the moment. Piper would shut down and withdraw right now, rather than fight. She doesn't have the energy, which is why she wanted to take a break from Alex. It's all a little overwhelming at the moment, so you have to give her a little more patience guys - just like Alex! Anyway, that was longer than planned - on with the story...**

Despite having Piper in her arms for much of the night, Alex hadn't slept well at all. She couldn't stop thinking about what had happened the night before and analysing every word that had been spoken between them. Piper had barely stirred from the foetal position she drifted to sleep in, her back pressed into Alex's front as she breathed deeply. Alex brushed the blonde hair from her neck with her nose as she gently inhaled the intoxicating scent of Piper's hair and kissed the top of her scalp as she rested her head back on the pillow. The t-shirt that Piper had changed into last night had ridden up above her waist as she slept and Alex could feel the warm skin of Piper's back against her belly as she breathed. She moved her palm to rest against the soft skin above her waist and allowed her fingertips to make feather light touches in the same area, closing her eyes to focus on the sensation of the touch. It was the closest she had got to Piper's bare skin there in such a long time and her skin burned from the contact. She longed to be able to wake the blonde up by kissing her ear and whispering erotic salutations as her girlfriend would slowly react to her teasing movements along her beautiful torso. She imagined Piper smiling sleepily as she felt Alex pushing the clothing up further still to send chill bumps across her golden skin as she reached back to run her fingers into Alex's dark hair, urging her to continue with the kisses on her neck. Their legs would entwine and she would move her fingers over and around the blonde's sensitive breasts, with Piper pressing forward to seek her touch in the place she wanted it. Alex would smile and whisper close to Piper's ear, telling her that good things come to those who wait before trailing her fingers over her wanting nipples. Each pass over her hardened buds would be slower and firmer, causing Piper to press her thighs together and moan softly at Alex giving her what she wanted. The brunette would move her long and slender thigh between Piper's legs and raise it slowly, before moving it back down. Each movement up would be a little closer to Piper's aching core and the friction between her thighs caused by the movement would have Piper writhing to press herself lower to get the all-important contact so much sooner. Eventually, she would relent and press her milky skin against Piper's dampened panties and enjoy the sensation of the aroused blonde moving her pussy against her in a circular motion. She envisaged Piper reaching up to take Alex's hand from teasing her breasts and pull it down towards the waistband of her panties, pressing their fingers together to slip beneath the material and to where Piper needed her most. Alex swallowed hard and screwed her eyes tightly shut, blinking away the moisture that was building there. Balling her hand into a fist to stop any reflexive movements, she tried to steady her breathing.

She felt guilty for the pleasure that tingled in the pads of her fingers for the briefest moment and knew she had to stop the skin on skin contact. Afraid to wake her girlfriend, she stilled her hand and pulled the t-shirt down to cover the space to her panties, resting her hand over the material again as though to seal the wound she was inflicting on herself. She wiped her eyes with the sides of her fingers and pressed her lips softly into the hair behind Piper's ear, whispering softly "I love you" into the straw coloured hair before putting her arm over her side and pulling Piper into her more.

Alex must have dozed off again as she awoke to Piper turning in her arms to face her.

"Hey." Piper hooked a stray length of dark hair from across Alex's face and looped it behind her ear so she could see her face clearly. Alex stirred and stretched her neck a little before opening her eyes gingerly.

"Hey." Alex smiled at the blue eyes observing her as though she were in a petrie dish.

"I really have to get up." Piper leaned in to peck a kiss on Alex's nose as they lay facing each other on the pillow.

"Why are you whispering?" Alex whispered back.

"I don't know. Because it feels like the middle of the night?" Piper's tones were still hushed. Alex chuckled.

"Yeah, it does. Maybe we should stay here until we are sure it's morning." Alex smiled and hooked her leg over the long toned calves that were brushing against hers under the covers, pulling them towards her. Piper grinned and reached up to stroke her thumb across the porcelain skin of Alex's cheek.

"Always the temptress between the sheets….But I really can't. I'm already taking so much time off lately that I need to pull my weight this weekend. Besides, that enormous window right above us tells me it's morning already." Piper rolled onto her back to stretch out her full length in the bed, groaning at the delicious stretch in her muscles.

"And you say I'm the temptress…"Alex raised a brow and propped herself up on her elbow as she observed Piper from a slight height advantage now.

"I do and you are." Piper smiled and slid out of the bed, gathering the clothes Alex had loaned her last night, padding to the bathroom to change. Alex heard the door lock and sighed before getting up and pulling on some jeans and a hoodie, tying her hair up in a messy bun. She headed downstairs to put some coffee on and popped a couple of slices of toast in the machine before checking her phone. Nicky had sent her a couple of texts and there was a mail from Lorna to say that the Rigoveri shipment was complete and the last containers were en route now. That was a relief, well it would be when they arrived safely. Alex's luck lately meant there was every chance of a Titanic size iceberg popping up half a mile from docking, but she dismissed the thought as Piper appeared in the kitchen.

"Is one of these for me?" Piper pointed towards the two mugs on the side.

"Yeah. What do you want on your toast?" Alex dropped the hot slices onto a plate before looking through the cupboards for condiments.

"Marmalade? Or jam, either. Thanks." Piper got her phone out of her coat pocket to text Polly she was on her way before sitting down at the table.

"There you go. What time do you need to be at PoPi?" Alex put the plated breakfast on the table before turning to put a couple of slices in for herself.

"8:30 really so we're ready to open at 9."

"OK. Cool."

The mundane conversation was easy and Alex really wanted to continue on this track, unnerved by any silence between them in case Piper filled it with an announcement about their relationship status. She busied herself tidying the bread away and wiping down the surfaces in the kitchen as Piper ate her toast. Alex buttered her own breakfast before sitting down opposite the blonde at the table.

"Did I tell you Polly met with John last week?" Piper suddenly asked as she brushed crumbs off her fingertips.

"No. How'd it go?"

"Really good apparently. Polly was nervous, but she said he had some great ideas and didn't dismiss anything we wanted to consider for the future. We've got some more work to do now around the brands to tidy up what our core product line looks like, but we've got some direction now. I feel like we can focus our stress on something positive."

"That sounds like a great meeting then. I told you he is a decent guy. He's got a lot of experience in turning brands around and making new business ideas a reality. There's a reason he's one of the top guys in his field."

"Yes, I know. You were right and I was wrong. AGAIN."

"I didn't mean that. I meant he's good at what he does and you don't realise it until you work with him. I was the same when he first offered to help." Alex shrugged.

Piper stood up and downed the rest of her coffee, putting the dirty plate and mug in the dishwasher.

"You don't need to do that you know."

"What?"

"Keep tidying up after yourself. You're a guest, so I'm supposed to do that."

"Well, it's no hardship to put things away. I know where everything is already. You keep everything in the same places you always have, so it kinda feels familiar I guess."

"Everything does." Alex spoke softly and before she had a chance to check herself. Piper ran her hand through her hair quickly before picking her coat up.

"I really have to go…..Thanks for breakfast." She leaned down to peck Alex on the cheek quickly before leaving.

XXXXX

Alex resolved to leave the ball in Piper's court from the moment she left her apartment on Saturday morning. It was no good trying to second guess the blonde's emotions or motives for her decisions right now and she found herself over-analysing everything. It was exhausting quite frankly and she started to wonder whether Piper might have been right to suggest they both take a step back from their relationship while they had so many other stressors to distract them. She had a lot to work out with her Lawyer to get these new contracts set up from her trip with Nicky and didn't want to leave Bill's crew up in the air with the prospect of future work either. There was plenty to keep her mind occupied over the coming weeks already and she'd start on Monday.

Knowing that the Rigoveri order was dealt with, Alex decided to take the day off to get on top of things at home. She texted all of the girls to see if they were up for a poker night at her place tomorrow night and there was a resounding holler of appreciation for the offer. She took the car to be valeted to get rid of all the sand and food wrappers from her road trip last week, took her business suits in for professional cleaning, did some grocery shopping and tidied her apartment up ready for everyone coming around on Sunday.

XXXXX

Both Saturday and Sunday had been busy at the store, thanks to a local rally that was taking place around the corner in support of pension rights for health workers. It was good to see so much cash coming over the counter and it was a good job that both Piper and Polly were in on both days as they hadn't know about the rally until the day. After a couple of early sales, they put some boards up in the front window offering a discount for health workers with valid ID, showing their support with some coloured balloons. People were honking their horns on the way past and waving their thanks, so the mood was great on both days.

"It's been soo good to see actual cash bills and be scratching around for small enough change. It takes me back to when we first opened Piper. I'd forgotten how simple it was to just exchange soap for cash in order to run a business." Polly shouted over her shoulder as she turned the 'closed' sign over and locked the front door.

"I know what you mean. It's transactional business at it's most basic – like kindergarten playing shop."

"Yeah, none of this need for writing business plans, devising marketing strategies and checking balance sheets every damned week."

"Are you falling out of love with our shop life Pol?"

"No. Well, maybe a little out of love with the paperwork." Polly picked her jacket up. "God, I can't wait for a hot soak in the bath when I get in. Pete's picking me up if you want a lift?"

"Thanks, but I'm OK."

"Is Alex picking you up?"

Piper scowled at Polly for suggesting it.

"What? You don't have to be fucking to get a lift home."

"I'm quite capable of taking the subway thanks."

"Are you seeing her tonight?"

"No. I'm taking your advice and running a bath. I have a date with our cocoa bean and ylang ylang bath soak and a bottle of white wine as it happens and I am very excited by that." Piper grabbed her coat as they turned the lights out and locked the back door.

"Are we going to make a start on the marketing plan tomorrow? Put some of John's ideas into some sort of order?" Polly fastened her coat and they walked towards where Pete would pick her up by the road side soon.

"Yeah, I think we should make a start on that. Have a good night and I'll see you in the morning OK?" Piper leaned in to hug her best friend before waving goodbye to catch the subway.

XXXXX

"Are you shitting me?" Nicky swigged her beer as she stood by the sink while Alex grabbed a couple more.

"No. She wants to cool things down I guess."

"Christ that girl can blow hot and cold."

"Give her a break Nic. She's going through some shit at the moment. The court case is right around the corner and she's got counsellors crawling out of her ass right now."

"Well that's mighty fucking understanding of you Vause…Are you sure you're Ok with that?"

"If it means not losing her completely, I have to be. I don't know how to fucking help you know. I feel like a spare part in the tool box at the moment."

"Maybe you need a counsellor of your own." Nicky punched her shoulder. "Come on, let me take some of your hard earned cash in the next game. That will give you a reason to get some crying therapy." Nicky grinned.

"Seriously?" Alex raised her eyebrows.

"It was a joke. They probably have Gamblers Anonymous for that, not counselling anyway."

XXXXX

On Monday morning, Alex got into the office early and prepared the paperwork she needed to take to her Lawyer to agree the new contracts. She had a proposal for Bill too, well it was more of an idea at the moment. She wanted to check a few things with her Lawyer before she announced anything to him though and called him to make an appointment to see him later in the week to talk about future projects. Lorna was in the main office first and they sat down together to look at staffing for the prospective clients that Alex and Nicky had spoken to. It looked like they had enough people on the ground to deal with the merchandise, but were going to be pressed for admin support to deal with the higher call levels. They needed to get some extra people in to deal with that and allow Lorna to spend more time dealing with the contracts side of things. Nicky would be needed to help manage the sub-contractors so neither of them would be as available to deal with the office side as they had been until now. This last couple of weeks had been a real test for them all and Alex didn't want to push their good will too far, so they looked at what kinds of roles they'd need and where they would work. It took them a good 4 hours to go through the details and get some rough job descriptions together for Alex to look at the finances for.

"Are you going to use the Agency for these Alex?"

"Of course. They always have good people." Alex smiled as she gathered the papers together.

"Damned straight they do. They got you the best!" Lorna winked as she rose to collect their coffee mugs.

"I'll give Red a call and see what skills they have. Some of these we could wait for the right person to fill, but I don't want to hang on too long because I need you to process the payments quickly for Bill's team, not be stuck here on the phone. I don't want his guys waiting on us for payment. Some of them have been on short hours contracts and need the money quickly to keep the dogs at bay."

"Sure. Nicky's over there now, so I'll ask her to bring the timesheets over and we can work out the overtime this afternoon when she gets back."

Alex walked into her office and closed the door before she called Red, setting out the papers to highlight which posts were more urgent than others as she listened to the line ringing.

"Ah, Ms Vause. Long time, no speak. It's nice to hear from you after all this time." A thick Russian accent answered the phone.

XXXXX

Aside from a few text messages shared between them, it was Thursday before Alex and Piper spoke. Alex called into the shop at lunch time with some coffees, donuts and a couple of healthy looking salad boxes in case they hadn't had any lunch.

"I'm always slightly less irritated to see you when you bring a bag of sugary treats. A for effort there Alex." Polly snarked as she leaned over the counter, spotting the branded paper bag in Alex's hand immediately.

"I aim to please, especially women." Alex smirked as Polly rolled her eyes. "Don't push it. No doubt you're here to see the more Sapphic member of the team? She's out back." Polly threw a dismissive thumb over her shoulder as she reached for the bag.

"Actually, I'm here to see both of you."

"Uh-oh. That sounds ominous. Should I put my Piper-proof armour on now?"

"You have Piper-proof armour? Where can I get some?" Alex chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Piper came through the doorway behind them. "Oh, hey Alex. Is something wrong?" Piper was immediately worried by the sudden visit after not seeing her since Saturday.

"Nothing to worry about. I just wanted to run something past you both. It's kind of a favour for me, but it might help you guys too."

"OK…" Polly ventured as she pulled the box of salad open and jabbed her fork into the leaves. "Alex brought us lunch." Polly pointed towards the bag.

"So, we're recruiting more staff for the office at the moment. We're agreeing some new contracts that will mean Lorna and Nicky can't handle all of the office admin as well as deal with the more managerial type stuff I'm asking them to do. So, we've got a couple of new starters to learn the ropes. Thing is, we need to knock a couple of walls through to make the office big enough for a bigger team before they can start anything. So, I need to find them something else to do for a couple of weeks."

"Why don't you just push the start date back to when you'll be ready?" Piper shrugged as though it were obvious.

"They are starting on Monday next week."

"But if you're not ready, just tell them to wait until you are. I'm sure they'll understand."

"I don't want them to wait. I want them to have a job on Monday. So, I'm saying could they come and work here for a couple of weeks until we are ready?"

"We can barely afford our own salaries Alex, we really can't afford to take anyone else on at the moment. Our plans for world domination are not quite ready for John to rubber stamp." Polly munched on her salad leaves between words.

"I'll pay them. I just need something productive for them to do."

"Why would you pay them to work here? We're not a charity Al." Piper eyed her suspiciously over the top of her coffee cup.

Alex pulled her glasses up into her hair and sighed. "I'm asking YOU to do ME a favour here. Just give them something to do – I don't know, tidying the store room or mopping the floors or something. I don't care what they do, just that they have a job for two weeks." Alex held Piper's eyes until the blonde turned away.

"OK, we'll do it." Polly swallowed her food and shrugged. "Free labour while we work on those plans for world domination, right?" She turned to Piper, who glared at her for accepting without a lengthy discussion on the subject.

"Piper says, thanks very much. We'd be delighted to help you out and obviously you owe us for this massive favour we're doing for you. Don't you Piper?" Polly raised her eyebrows at the blonde, waiting for an uttered acceptance.

"Fine. But they'd better not be complete morons we have to train."

"Thanks! Just have them do the manual labour. Nothing too tricky like handling cash or locking up. No responsibility or anything, just keep it simple, OK?"

"I know we make it LOOK like rocket science Alex, but it really isn't all that hard you know?" Polly scoffed as she walked into the back of the store to clean her hands.

"So…how are you?" Alex offered when they were alone.

"Good, fine. Fine."

"Great. Any news on the court date?"

"Yeah. Next week is the first hearing. That's when he's going to plead guilty or not. I have a meeting with my Lawyer tomorrow to prepare for it. Hopefully, it will be a simple guilty plea and the whole thing doesn't turn into a big deal."

"Wow, that came around soon…. You OK about it?" Alex asked gently.

"Yeah. I guess. I'm trying not to think about it to be honest. The old Chapman head in the sand trick is still my favourite." Piper smiled. "How about you? You busy at work?"

"Yeah, I've been busy tying down the contracts for the new clients we met last week while they're still warm. Then working out logistics for how to fit more people into the office space we have at the moment. We need to expand really, but the old guy next door doesn't seem interested in moving out at the moment. We might have to look elsewhere eventually, but we'll just be a close team until then I guess."

"I'm sure Nicky won't mind a pretty girl sitting on her lap in the interests of saving space." Piper chuckled.

"Don't give her the idea or she'll be deliberately making it seem smaller and switching off the heating to share body heat."

"Ha! Do you remember that time there was a gas leak in your old apartment block and they switched the gas off in the middle of winter for like a whole week until they found it?"

"And you wouldn't let me come around to your place because Polly didn't want us having lesbian sex on her couch while she wasn't home? Why was that? Did she just want to make sure she WAS home when we did it?" Alex laughed.

"No, it's because she knew we would do it. ALL the fucking time and she couldn't stand the thought of listening to it for a whole week. I think she was jealous of our sex-fest."

"Well, there was a LOT to be jealous about." Alex smirked.

"Which is why I didn't argue with her and we basically stayed in your bed in a sex fortress for the week."

"Mmmm, I was kinda disappointed when they fixed that leak come to think of it." Alex grinned as Piper pushed her arm.

"Me too. It was great having you to myself for a whole week."

"I know. I wish we did that more." Alex turned serious for a second.

"Well, we can't turn the clock back now. Good memories though….GREAT memories in fact." Piper waggled her eyebrows.

"I'd better get going." Alex pecked Piper on the cheek with a quick kiss. "Bye Polly Hobby!" she shouted over her shoulder as she headed towards the door. "Oh and – just for future reference. I do still have detailed blueprints for that sex fortress if you ever want to re-build." Alex winked and closed the door behind her.


	69. Chapter 69

**A/N: I'll keep this short. I've got a lot going on right now (and the Olympics is addictive!), so I've been later than usual with the update of the latest chapter. Hopefully, I will be fairly quick with the next one though as I've already started it. Thanks for the reviews (the good, the bad and the ugly). Fasten your seatbelts for choppy waters ahead, but you'll see some nice progression of the story / characters as a result - which is what we all need after the angst- right? Just be patient my friends ;-)**

Alex got back into her car, where Lorna was waiting, and started the engine.

"Well? How'd it go?"

"They said yes."

"Oh, great! I knew they'd be fine about it." Lorna grinned as she fastened her seatbelt.

"Yeah, we'll see."

"I'm sensing there's a 'but' to this story…."

"I didn't tell them the full story."

"Why?"

Alex pushed through a changing light to make it past the crossroads and avoided Lorna's eyes when she replied.

"Because I needed a quick 'yes'…. And pretty much everything I say ends up with an argument where Piper is concerned lately, so I was a bit sketchy on the details."

"Oh God…what did you tell them?" Lorna didn't disguise her concern at not being completely open with the girls at the soap store. Before she had gotten to know them, Piper's rants at Nicky on the phone about the late or damaged deliveries were legendary in their little office.

"I said we had some construction work to sort out to make the office bigger and we needed them to give a couple of girls some work to do for maybe a couple of weeks until that was finished. I didn't lie." Alex shrugged, though she knew fine well that she'd over-simplified the situation.

Lorna thought for a moment and decided that Alex knew them better than anyone else, so she had handled it in the way she knew would work best for everyone.

"OK…..But just don't ask me to get involved in whatever tangled web you're weaving. I'm a terrible liar."

"That's the worst lie you ever told Lorna Morello and we both know it." Alex looked at her, raising her eyebrow and they both broke out laughing. A few blocks later, they were quiet again before Lorna spoke up.

"How is Piper?"

"What do you mean?"

"With the court date coming up. Is she coping OK? It must be praying on her mind."

"Yeah, it's next week. She hasn't really talked about it, but I know she's worried because she's blowing hot and cold a lot lately."

"Trouble in paradise?"

"Paradise? Are you kidding me?! We're a Hell of a long way off route to anything by that name."

"I don't believe that. I've seen the way you two look at each other and there's some paradise right there."

"Well, I guess that just shows you can't judge a book by its cover."

"You can't fake that Alex. I've seen it with my own eyes with you two and it's something I can't explain. It's like Maria and Tony."

Alex laughed at the West Side Story comparison and shook her head. "Which means one of us will be dead and the other heartbroken in the end? I'm really looking forward to that then."

"You can joke about it, but love is love Alex. I seen it with you two. Piper looks like an addict who can't see her next fix when you're not by her side when we're out. She can't stand to be separated from you….And you're the same. You watch her from the corner of your eye when you think she's not looking – like you're trying to memorise every part of her in case she disappears in a puff of smoke at any moment."

Alex gripped the steering wheel with more force and bit back her retort on Piper's puff of smoke party trick.

"Well, I don't like the ending to that story."

"Even when the ending is sad, it's a great movie when the characters have so much chemistry they are inevitable."

Alex remained tight lipped as she tapped her finger on the wheel, waiting for the lights to change as they neared their destination.

"I'm just saying, you can't deny you've got that kind of connection with her. You have to grab it with both hands and hang on for the ride because that's what you're going to remember – no matter if you're the one who ends up heartbroken or with a bullet in your belly." Lorna shrugged as though there were no other options.

"On that cheery note, I'm pleased to say we're finally here." Alex drove around the corner and parked up outside a row of run down stores before cutting the engine.

XXXXX

They walked through a glass fronted door filled with posters for local events and headed along a narrow corridor to a large office walled with thick glass panes. Alex looked inside and tapped on the door, whereby a woman with short red hair looked up and over the top of her glasses, waving them to come inside.

"Alex! It's good to see you again." She greeted them warmly, standing from behind her desk to hug them both.

"How are you Lorna? It must be a year since I last saw you already."

"Hi Red. I'm good, really good. Busy, but keeping my brain busy is a good thing, right?" Lorna smiled as Red pulled her into a tight hug before releasing her.

"And you Alex - I could kiss you right now!" Red grinned and hugged Alex before the dark haired woman could pull away.

"Careful Red, you might like that." Alex winked as the older woman released her.

"I don't think I'm your type sweetheart and I'm not a fielder either, or batter? I don't remember the American phrase, but something about batting and playing ball – baseball? Anyway, sit, sit. You want a drink?"

"I think you mean softball or batting for the other team - and you're mixing your metaphors. Coffee would be great actually. Just wanted to get the paperwork agreed for these new starters so we know who to expect and when."

"Sure, sure. I got the files here so you can see who we've got available for placement. Let me check…..you've got 2 places in the office with Lorna right?"

"Yeah, it will be admin stuff really. Answering calls, taking messages, typing up customer orders for the books, that kind of thing."

"Good, perfect….And 4 for the depot with Poussey and Taystee too?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure what they will be doing yet. Clean driving licences would be good in case we want them to run deliveries, but we can use some hands to manage the clean up of the vans now we've got a bigger fleet of them if they don't drive."

"Licence history will be in there on the front page I think. Here's the files for who we've shortlisted for you. You want to take a look while I get some cake?" Red dropped the files onto the table in front of Lorna and Alex before patting Alex on the shoulder and leaving them to look through the paperwork. Alex and Lorna discussed the candidates and who they could use where in the business, making a pile of maybes and definite 'no's.

"You got any questions ladies?" The older woman walked over to the table where they sat with a tray of cakes and some coffee in a pot.

"Yeah. This one looks like she's good with numbers from her High School grades, which would be perfect for the office. But….what's the deal with the rehab right now? Is she clean?"

"You're looking at Tricia I think. She's a good girl. I've met her a couple of times and she wants to change, but….she's easily led. She's clean, but only for a couple of months. She'll need time off for meetings with her counsellor twice a week, group sessions after work. It will be the same group as always – after work on Wednesdays and I don't know what she's doing sponsor-wise…" Red looked at Alex hopefully.

"I can't Red. Honestly, I just don't think I could give that kind of support to anyone else right now."

"I understand. It's OK. I was just asking because you did a great job before."

Alex sighed and flicked through Tricia's file again before speaking.

"Things were a bit different then. I have a lot more going on right now and I don't want this girl to fail because I was too busy to notice her falling off the wagon."

"It's fine, really Alex. I need a sponsor for her before I can sign her over to work though."

"I'm sorry. I wish I could help."

"How is Nicky?"

"She's good. Really good actually, isn't she Lorna?"

"Yeah, she's loving her promotion." Lorna rolled her eyes and smiled.

"She got a promotion?! My little Nicky Nicholls got a promotion?" Red was beaming at the news.

"Yeah, she's been doing so well. She had one little wobble a few weeks ago and we went to a meeting together as soon as she called me. Since then, she's really thrown herself into work now we've got these new contracts. I've asked her to run things between our office and a new contractor we've got on board in Newark and she's flying with it. Just need the lazy bitch to learn to drive now."

"That's so great. My girls are doing so well working for you Alex. It makes me proud to see how you've all changed." Red patted Lorna's shoulder as she poured the coffee out into small cups for them. "I really hope you change your mind one day about me setting up some publicity for you. It's important to get some success stories out there and reading how well one employer has done would encourage other companies to get involved you know….It would be great to be able-"

"No Red. You know how I feel about that."

"I do." Red held her hands up to show she wasn't going to argue the point any further. "I'm happy you're involved and I want to keep it that way, so." She motioned a zip across her mouth before moving the cake plate towards Alex. "I've got a tray of donuts in the back to take back with you, for my girls. You tell them I send my love."

XXXXX

Friday started with an early morning session with Julie for Piper and she had been braced to tell her things had gotten a little complicated with Alex. But when the meeting took place, Julie didn't even mention Alex, choosing to follow Piper's trail of thought about the upcoming court case and talk about her feelings about that to start with. It appeared to Julie that much of Piper's anxiety about that was tied up with the court appearance and her worry that her past would somehow taint any testimony she might have to give, rather than anything specifically related to the sexual assault.

"So, your fear is that somehow this court case might end with you being back in prison?"

"Yes. And I know that sounds crazy because I'm not the one on trial, but it's like they will find a way to put me back there." Piper was pacing by the window in carefully measured steps before turning and pacing the same number back again.

"Do you think they would put you back in Litchfield?"

Piper stopped walking and leaned over the back of the armchair, staring into the seat cushion.

"Yes." She spoke softly.

"Piper….Can we talk about what happened to you when you were in Litchfield? Would that be OK?" Julie probed gently, not wanting to deter her from opening up a little about the root of the darkness she was facing. The blonde didn't raise her eyes to look at her counsellor, but she nodded her agreement slowly, allowing Julie to continue.

XXXXX

Alex worked from home on Friday since there was chaos on their little office with the construction crew starting to take the walls down. She made a view video conference calls to Italy to make sure everyone was happy that they could deliver as they said and got agreement for the agreed bonus to be paid out on that delivery. It was a relief to see a cash injection as she'd run this order at a loss with bringing Bill's crew on board, but it was a loss leader that would see them make bigger returns further down the line on future work, so it was worth it. She took a break to make some lunch and started to think over her conversations with Piper this last week. Piper always seemed to expect the worst from her and Alex was losing her patience with constantly feeling like she was holding back on calling Piper out on the shitty things she was doing or saying. The walking around on eggshells was starting to wear on both of them and they'd always had a very open and passionate relationship, where no holds were barred on expressing emotions. It was like they were both holding back for fear of any consequences. It was like playing emotional chess, rather than developing a deep and meaningful connection with someone she loved so much it hurt. And that was the problem. She loved Piper so much it hurt. It hurt her every time they were together and it hurt when Piper suggested they shouldn't be together. Simply having Piper in the same city hurt. Lorna's analogy of their ending being either heartbreak or a bullet in the belly was giving Alex flashbacks of that day in Paris where Piper wheeled her suitcase out of their apartment without so much as a glance back to see her heart shattering.

She made herself a bagel with some coffee and ate it whilst dialling Bill's number. She had an idea that might kill two birds with one stone and Bill was a safe pair of hands to back her up with what she had in mind.

"Hey Alex, what can I do for you?"

"Hi. I got confirmation from everyone that the Rigoveri contract was 100% done and they've agreed to pay the invoices this morning. Just wanted to say thanks for your help with that."

"Oh, that's great to hear Alex. I'll let everyone know downstairs."

"Good. I've also got the contract signed from your boss to transfer ownership of your place over to me as of Monday."

"Wow, you don't hang around do you?!" Bill laughed. "Well, I guess congratulations are in order, Boss."

"Thanks. We just need to keep the order books full now and things carry on as they have been for the last couple of weeks. I've been really pleased with the way things have been handled over in Newark, so I wondered if you'd accompany me on a trip to Europe to firm up some other big contracts? That way, they know who they are dealing with and see a guy with decades of experience in the industry supporting me at the top level. What do you think?"

"I don't know what to say….I'm honestly speechless." Alex could hear him swallowing hard at the end of the phone and didn't want to make Bill feel uncomfortable.

"Well, let me help you out with some words then. The first being 'yes, I'd love to'. The Rigoveri contract has been watched closely by a company I deal with in London and a potential new client in Madrid, so I wanted to get out there and press some flesh while they have the appetite for it. Would you come with me to present our combined expertise as a bigger company that can deal with higher volumes?"

"Yes! I will definitely do that! Alex…..do you mind me asking if everyone's jobs are safe? I'm sorry to ask so early and before it's all official. I just wanted to see whether we could give everyone some good news about security is all…I mean. If it's too soon…"

"Can we talk about it while we're travelling? I want to run some ideas past you."

"Of course. Let me know what your travel plans are and I can make arrangements. Thanks. For everything. I honestly didn't know whether we'd be pricing up the fixtures and fitting for auction the week you walked through the door."

XXXXX

The session with her Lawyer on Friday afternoon had given her a headache. It was all about going over the details and making sure that she had her testimony pretty much memorised in terms of the details. It felt like revising for an exam she didn't want to take, but was important to pass all the same. They finished up by 3pm, but Piper was drained from today's meeting and called Polly to ask if she minded if Piper went straight home instead of coming to the store.

"Yeah, fine by me. Is everything OK?"

"Thanks. I'm just worn out from all the intense conversations today is all. I feel like I have to memorise all this stuff and he keeps putting legal phrases into conversation that I feel I should know what they mean. It's like I need to note it down and Google it later because I don't want to stop his flow. Once he gets going, he doesn't come up for air you know?"

"Do you think he'll do a good job representing you?"

"I think so. He seems motivated to help me and he keeps reminding me that I'm not the one on trial here. I can't help but feel like I am though because at the end of the day, it's his word against mine in that court and those other women are relying on me to do a good job if I get called to the stand."

"Do you want me to come round later?"

"No, I just want a quiet night to be honest Pol. I'm kind of sick of the sound of my own voice today, so some solitude would help me relax and get an early night. Do you want to take tomorrow off since I was out all day? I don't mind running things all weekend if you fancy a break?"

"Actually, Pete's got the weekend off work, so I might snap your arm off on that if you really don't mind? I want to go shopping for a new sofa and this is my chance to do it while he has his wallet full after payday."

"Sure, I wouldn't stand in the way of you and fabric swatches. He has no idea what he's in for yet does he?" Piper chuckled as she made her way to her front door and put her key into the lock.

XXXXX

The store was quiet on Saturday and Piper was trying not to do the mundane work of cleaning and re-organising the stock because she knew they needed to give these new employees that Alex had taken on something to do for a couple of weeks. It was hard enough some days for her and Polly to be industrious, but at least they had business plans and accounting work to do in the background. She hadn't heard from her girlfriend since she called into the store on Thursday and decided to send her a quick text to see what she was up to.

'Hey. It was nice to see you at the store on Thursday. Mostly I enjoyed seeing the coffee of course ;-) Will you be calling by with lunch today? X'

A couple of hours passed and she didn't receive a reply, so she figured Alex had no signal or she had her phone switched off for a meeting or something. She tapped out another message.

'Just kidding about lunch, but I'm serious when I ask if you want to place an order with me for dinner tonight? My treat. X'

Piper locked up the store at 6 o'clock and she hadn't heard anything from Alex, so she decided to call her as she walked to the subway. It went straight to voicemail, so she hung up and disappeared into the busy station. She got home and pushed the door open to find her mail on the doormat as she entered the front room. Stepping over it, she hung her bag up and took off her coat before bending down to pick it up and shut the door over. She put the mail on the kitchen counter as she dropped a microwave meal onto a plate to heat it up, pouring a glass of cold white wine from a fresh bottle in the fridge. It had been a long day on her own and since Alex hadn't replied, it looked like it was going to be another meal for one tonight too. She flicked on the TV and got her hot food out of the microwave to settle down and eat it. Only when she was pouring her third glass of wine from the fridge did she see the mail again and wandered over to go through it. All junk, with the exception of a hand written envelope with just her first name on the front, written in neat joined up letters. Figuring it might be a baby shower invitation or something from a mutual friend of Polly's, she opened the envelope by the counter and read the familiar handwriting.

 _Piper,_

 _Having you back in my life these past few months has been the best thing to happen to me in such a long time and I'm so glad that we got an opportunity to be together again after 4 long years of being apart. My life was Hell without you and I really hope that one day we can heal the wounds that have opened up for both of us. I know it is painful for both of us right now and I can see now that I've been closing my senses to the facts that are all around us as we try to build a new relationship. The trouble is, we're avoiding dealing with the past and any foundations we're trying to build for our relationship right now are crumbling because of it. We're both still hurting from things that have happened over the last 4 years and I so desperately want to be there for you right now, for everything you are going through with the court case and the counselling. But, I'm selfish. You know I am. I have tried to bury my feelings for the sake of supporting you, but I realise now that I'm making things worse by doing that. I'm so terrified of opening my heart to you again and the chance for you to break it by leaving me. It consumes me. My desire to care for you comes across as controlling and you fiercely need your independence right now. I can't help but feel I've failed you and the tighter I hold on to you, the more you pull to break free._

 _Believe me when I tell you this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm a coward for not being able to do this face to face, but I can't bear to see your eyes and what might lie in them right now. These last couple of weeks have been so hard and doing this is absolutely tearing me apart. I'm full of anger, self-loathing, fear, desperation, love. God, I'm so full of love for you Piper. You're all I can think of, day and night. You are always on my mind and having you so near to me, yet emotionally so far away is worse than any physical pain I can imagine._

 _So I'm walking away. I can't be your girlfriend anymore. I'm releasing you and giving you the freedom and independence you need to deal with the trial and progress with your counselling. I truly hope that you can find the strength and focus to deal with these things without me muddying the waters for you. We both need space and time to process everything that has happened and figure out what we want._

 _I've asked Nicky to keep an eye on things with the new staff as I'm going to be away for a while. I need to find my own inner peace and some space away from the city will help me to do that. I need a clean break from everything. I'm sorry._

 _I love you Piper. I've never stopped loving you and you'll always be in my heart, no matter where I am._

 _Alex_

 _x_


	70. Chapter 70

**A/N: **Minor edit to the original posting of this chapter which DOES change the story a little.**

 **Just want to start by saying that Team GB are now second in the medal table for the Olympics! Fantastic show of sport over the last week and I'm loving the TV coverage. Well done to Michael Phelps too - are we sure that guy isn't an actual robot?!**

 **Back to the story...Wow. What a reaction to that last chapter. I'm astonished by the hate for Alex and the wording of those reviews has been strong to say the least. I'm glad the story has garnered such an emotional response on one hand, but torn about whether to defend Alex or not. Some people saw it the way I do - Alex is a person with feelings. Others thinking it abhorrent that she could put her feelings before Piper in any way shape or form and feel eternally guilty for what she has done. I'll pick some salient points from the reviews to explain and hope that calms the fires...**

 **1) Alex did not name Piper as payback for leaving her. She did in the TV show, but NOT in this story. In this story, she did it because she knew someone else would name her and if Alex did it, she could control what they were told and limit the damage more. She never thought Piper would even go to prison based on what she turned over to the Feds and she always loved Piper and would not hurt her like that. Piper knew it was Alex from the moment she was arrested and came to terms with that and the fact that she actually did break the law a long time ago. Alex's guilt for her being imprisoned far outweighs any resentment Piper has toward her for being there. Piper feels she has paid her debt to society and she's got a clean conscience about what she did now because of that. She's got a lot of other trauma to deal with as a result, but hating Alex for sending her there isn't part of it.**

 **2) Piper tried to break up with Alex and Alex wouldn't hear of it because she was thinking about her own darkest fears, that Piper would leave her again. When she's really thought about it and considered the effect it is having on Piper, she's tried to make it easier on Piper. Writing the letter was a shit move, but it ripped off the band aid and forced them to be apart physically. It also meant I could get on with writing about Piper's story without interweaving a lot of to and fro with Alex in close proximity (sorry / not sorry).**

 **3) Yes, Alex is missing physical intimacy like they used to share, but she's not mad because she can't get Piper off. She's missing it because it has always been core to they way they can communicate their feelings. They are frequently bad with words, so physical intimacy was something they shared to show those feelings in a different way. Not having that is like losing one of their key senses and the connection is more difficult for them now. It's too soon for joint counselling as the focus needs to be on Piper right now, so this has taken a back seat (understandably).**

 **Happy to answer any PMs if you have more questions, but really I'm happy for you to interpret the story in your own way. You're all reading the same words and feel differently about the characters and their actions and that's fine. You're going to struggle to root for Vauseman if you don't feel any empathy towards Alex at all in this situation though, so I urge you to put yourself into her shoes or you won't be invested in the story. I've got the next chapter done, but as with this one, I've tweaked it as a result of the reviews, so I'm holding it back until I get those for Chapter 70. Thanks for the reviews by the way, even though each notification made me cringe to open it and read it for the last one chapter!**

Piper read the letter over again before scrunching it up and throwing it on the table. She leaned on her hands, breathing heavily as her anger raised in her veins.

"Fuck you Alex!" She threw her wine glass against the wall, shattering as it hit and wine ran down the paintwork.

Pacing around the room like a caged lion, she searched for some sort of an outlet for all of the rage that had built inside but found none. She banged her fists against the wall in frustration and vented her ragged voice against the magnolia painted wall until she felt hoarse from straining her throat. She needed to take the edge off and calm down, so walking to the cupboard where the vodka was stored was an automatic movement. Like muscle memory was taking over when things reached a certain level of shittiness. The level dinged and the door was open to the clear taste of feeling numbed. Her hands shook with the anticipation of the feeling and she fumbled with the screw cap for a second before twisting it off and letting it spin onto the linoleum floor. She grabbed a tumbler from the drainer and poured until it was three quarters full. The liquid was still sloshing against the sides with turbulence from the glugged pouring as she lifted the glass to her lips quickly. Taking a large gulp, she focused on the sensation of the liquid coating the back of her throat as it flooded her senses. Her faithful friend, always there to take away the pain at a moment's notice. Piper closed her eyes and felt the path of the liquid through her system, visualising it putting out the fire in her veins as it journeyed through her body and into her bloodstream. Another big gulp to send some reinforcement troops to support the front line attack on her senses and she could taste it this time. God it felt good to know that the fire she felt in the pit of her stomach would soon be gone and she might be able to unclench her fists and relax her muscles a little. Another couple of gulps and the tumbler was finished. Wiping the back of her hand across her mouth, she poured another and carried the bottle with her to sit back on the couch, cradling it in the crook of her arm.

"I guess it's just you and me now then bud." She raised the glass in the air, as though checking it for clarity. "To us."

XXXXX

It was after 10am when the sunlight shining through the front window finally pulled Piper from her curled up position on the sofa. She screwed her eyes up as the sunlight beamed onto them and turned away, huffing at the audacity of nature to interrupt her unconscious state. She turned over and put her back to it, returning to sleep until she was awoken by loud banging on her front door at 4pm. Pulling a throw over her head to try and block out the sound, the banging persisted and was on the window now. Her head was beginning to hurt now that she couldn't sleep through the incessant pounding and she shouted over her shoulder angrily.

"I'm not here!"

After a moment of quiet, the front door opened and her short hopes of being left alone were dashed when she heard a voice above her.

"I'm guessing the sales figures might be down today then."

Piper furrowed her brow and turned to see a silhouette of Polly with her hands on her hips in front of the sun. Shielding her eyes with the back of her hand from the painful rays, Piper groaned.

"How did you get in?"

"With my key. The one I use in emergencies. Like when you don't answer your phone for 24 hours. Or tell me to take the day off because you'll look after the store and I drive by and see the place closed up all day."

"Well, you can give it back now. Emergency over."

"I see that. I see you're doing just peachy right here. Have you been here all night?" Polly moved to pick up the empty bottle of cheap vodka that was still being cradled by Piper in her sleep, taking it to drop it into the trash.

The sound of broken glass crunching underfoot caused them both to look over to the front door, where Pete stopped in his tracks to look down.

"I'm glad you persuaded me to stop wearing flip flops in winter over here Pol. Could've lost a pinky there."

"You'd better stay there in case you tread it in more. Hang on, I'll find a brush…." Polly busied herself with looking for the cleaning utensils and Pete turned to regard the wall with the splash mark from the wine last night.

"Maybe a cloth too Pol." He nodded at the stain on the wall before stepping out of his shoes and taking a giant stride over to sit next to Piper on the sofa.

"How you doing sport?" He rubbed her leg through the throw as she sat up.

"Have I got an axe hanging out the back of my head?"

"Lemme see….Yeah! Fuck, it's a big one too! I can pull it out with a couple of Advil if you want?"

"I might just keep it. Maybe if people can see I already have one, they won't feel the need to bury another axe into my skull when I'm down."

Pete glanced over at Polly and caught her eye, not sure what to say next. Piper spoke first though.

"Advil would be good, they're in the drawer by the sink. Thanks."

"I'll get them Pete, it's OK." Polly emptied the glass into the bin and filled a glass of water, bringing the tablets over.

"So, what happens now?" Polly asked as she went to wipe the wine off the wall.

"You don't have to do that. I'll do it later. I don't want to do anything right now." Piper gulped the Advil down with some water and finished the glass in an attempt to rehydrate her fuzzy tongue.

"I know you don't and I've already finished. You didn't answer my question."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what do you want us to do now?"

"I don't follow. Go home?"

"Piper….." Polly sat on her heels in front of her and caught her eyes. "I know this is about Alex and I'm not about to judge you for however you deal with that. What I don't know is what you want us to do to help you through this without vodka."

It took a while for the words to sink in and be re-organised into an order that made any sense in her foggy brain, but her eyes widened and narrowed just as fast when she realised what Polly just said.

"You knew?! You fucking _knew_ ?! How did you know?"

Polly sighed, knowing she'd have to have this conversation and expecting the reaction.

"Alex came to see me on Friday while you were off. She asked me to look out for you."

"She can tell my best friend she's going to dump me in person but I get a fucking Dear John letter! How fucked up is that?" Piper stood up quickly and felt dizzy straight away.

"Hey, you might want to sit down kiddo." Pete offered as he rose to help her steady herself. She pushed past him and ran to the kitchen sink to throw up.

"Well, that's probably done you good to be fair. Get the booze out and all that. Pity to waste it, but it looks like cheap stuff anyway." Polly pulled her hair back from her face and rubbed her back.

Piper kept hunched over the sink but didn't heave anymore. Her shoulders shook a little and she started to sniff. "She's left me Pol. Had enough of dealing with my shit and bailed out."

Polly didn't answer, just carried on soothing her back.

"Why didn't she say goodbye? I don't understand why she couldn't come and see me." Piper was sobbing now, her face wet with tears and her sniffing couldn't give her the air to breathe as well as hold the snot in.

"Would you have let her go if she did?"

"No! No fucking way would I have let her go!"

"Well, maybe there's your answer. She must have known that and maybe thought it best not to put you both through that."

"I think I put the idea into her head. I tried to break up with her at the weekend and she wouldn't have it."

"Oh…..OK…..Well, maybe this is sort of what you wanted?" Polly offered cautiously.

"You'd think so wouldn't you?" When Piper didn't furnish any further explanation, Polly followed up with what she thought was a fair question.

"Why would you try to break up with her if you didn't actually want to break up Piper?"

Piper wiped her face with her hand and sniffed, clearing hair from her eyes as she stood to face Polly.

"Because I thought it was the right thing to do."

"What does that mean?" Polly's brow was more furrowed than Iowa in grain planting season.

"I was giving her whiplash. One minute I'd be crying on her shoulder, the next I'd be screaming at her for trying to help me. I can't be walking on eggshells around people at the moment. I feel crappy enough without every other conversation being an apology from me for something I've said or done."

"I still don't get why you thought breaking up was the solution? Hasn't Alex been there for you when you've needed her?"

"Where is she now then Polly?! The court date is this week and don't you think I might have needed her this week with all this hanging over me?" Piper's voice was strained and slightly raised now.

"I do. Absolutely she should be here as your girlfriend, friend, whatever and it's massively fucking lame that she sent you a letter instead of womaning the Hell up to talk to you in person. But this is AFTER you tried to break up with her and I'm trying to understand why you think you have to walk on eggshells around Alex?...Has she said something to you?"

"No….nothing like that. She….thinks she's smothering me I guess."

"Is she?"

"Yes." Piper shrugged.

"How? By hauling a massive Christmas tree into your house and decorating it for you when you can barely stand? By picking you up from your Mother's house when she knows fine well she'd be shot if they saw her there? By bringing you back to consciousness when you passed out at New Year? By sleeping on your sofa for 2 weeks and getting your groceries and dirty laundry sorted out when you were bed ridden? Is that what she thinks is smothering you?" Polly's eyebrows were permanently lodged into her fringe now. Piper didn't reply and Polly pressed further, with caution.

"Or is that what you think is smothering you?"

"You're over simplifying things now. You don't know the whole story."

"I know, I know. There's always way more to the story where you two are concerned and maybe you don't want to talk about it. And that's fine, really. I'm just trying to see this from both sides you know…..Alex came to see me on Friday."

"Yeah, to tell you she was dumping me."

"Well, yes. But after I exploded like a volcano and slapped her.._"

"You SLAPPED her?! What the fuck Pol?!"

"Hey, she was bailing on my best friend in a letter. Of course I was going to read her the riot act. She was a wreck Piper. The fact that she came to see me before she went anywhere to make me promise to look out for you, well I just got the distinct feeling she didn't want to break up with you either. I'm assuming that she thinks it is what you wanted and she was trying to do the right thing – even though it's breaking both of your hearts here."

Piper turned and put her head against Polly's chest as she sobbed as a new thought suddenly dawned on her.

"What if I never see her again Polly?!"

"Shhh, hey now. She's got an apartment and a head office here. Besides any of that, you two couldn't keep apart if your lives depended on it. There's some fucking mystic lesbian elastic between you I swear it" Polly kissed the top of her head.

"What if I've pushed her too far this time and it's snapped Pol?"

"That's the whole point of elastic, after the push comes the pull."

XXXXX

Alex woke up from a very restless sleep, checking the time to see it was nearly 7am. She knew that Piper would have read her letter by now and her stomach turned thinking about what her reaction might have been. It was inevitable that she would feel like this, the guilt washing over her like a wave of nausea every time she thought about the blonde. She had always resented the ease with which Piper had seemed to leave her in Paris all those years ago, a constant jealousy over how easy the separation had been for her lover. Her memory recalled it vividly as a stoney-faced reaction to Alex begging her not to leave her, Piper looking her in the eye before turning and pulling her case out of the door without looking back. It had been a toxic set of emotions to be left with, not knowing if she might change her mind and come back and for how long to maintain those hopes before actually starting to grieve for the loss she had been feeling all along. Alex saw now that she was on the other side of that decision how fucking painful it would have been for Piper to do it back then and how much braver the blonde had been to actually say goodbye to her face and leave. Not taking the cowardly way out by pushing an apologetic letter under the door when you knew she would be out.

On Thursday afternoon, after her meeting with Red, Alex had dropped Lorna back at the office before attending an appointment of her own. Lorna's words about their love being inevitable and her seeing Alex's constant fear about Piper disappearing had brought it home that if other people could see her clinging onto the blonde, then her girlfriend must be feeling in 10 times more. It wasn't that she was needy or clingy in fact. It was the guilt over not being able to protect her when she went to prison and when she was attacked by Darryl. She never should have ended up in prison and Alex would never forgive herself for naming her. But her punk ass Lawyer had been so poor acting on her behalf that she got the worst possible outcome and they made an example of her. She wanted to protect her, to care for her and look after her. It could never make up for what she had done to put Piper behind bars in the first place, but Alex was making it up to her girlfriend in the only ways she could understand. Those ways were clearly not what her blue-eyed lover needed from her. So, she sought guidance from a professional and parked up outside the Queensboro offices of the rape counselling company Piper was using at the moment. She had explained on the phone that she was the girlfriend of a current client and wanted some counselling herself. They agreed it would be better if she spoke to someone different in order that the case wasn't discussed at all in relation to Piper's notes. She made an appointment to speak with Julie's business partner, Melanie Combs and went up in the elevator to see her.

It was good to be able to talk to someone about what Piper had been through and how they were dealing with it as a couple. It was also the first time Alex had actually been able to talk about her own feelings, without really trying to put herself in the background and pushing them down to be the supportive girlfriend she felt she was supposed to be at all times. It would be selfish to even think of discussing her feelings with Piper – after all, she wasn't the victim in any of this. Nobody else knew what the pair were dealing with in terms of the rape and their own relationship issues that were borne from that and it was good to get some reassurance that she wasn't being a completely selfish bitch in this. Melanie gave her some different angles to consider how her actions might be perceived by Piper as a victim of sexual assault and what might be going on in Piper's head when she was reacting to Alex. It opened a whole new world of understanding to her and she felt bad for holding on to her so tightly in the circumstances and not seeking support sooner. It seemed like it was a perfectly normal reaction for sexual assault victims to need space and to be fiercely independent in their decisions, even if it wasn't in their nature previously, as it gave them a sense of control. The temper wasn't necessarily a symptom of the assault, but everyone responds differently and the space helps with that. Alex didn't go into details about their sex life, it wasn't important right now and because the early part of the meeting made it clear to her that her need to control was the last thing Piper needed to be around now. She left the meeting with a niggling feeling that the thing she had dreaded happening most, losing Piper, would have to happen. If you love someone, set them free. If you were meant to be, they'd return or something like that. That was the saying, right?

XXXXX

Pete and Polly stayed for the rest of the evening at Piper's, ordering take out and sharing a bottle of wine. Pete really took Piper's mind off things for a while and had her laughing a little at some of the stories of him growing up in Australia with his brothers. As the evening wore on and Pete excused himself to go to the little boys room, Polly sat next to Piper and patted her knee gently.

"Do you swear to me that you're not going to get another bottle of vodka after we leave here tonight?"

"Yes… I won't go and buy one tonight. I promise."

"Good. Because, don't forget, Pete will be here at 6:30 sharp to go running with you. So help me if you aren't in your running shoes and lycra when he knocks on your door young lady…" Polly's warning was stern, but friendly and she had checked all of the cupboards in case there was any more hard liquor stashed away.

"I'm sure he was just being nice. He honestly doesn't have to get up at the crack of dawn to see my pathetic attempt at exercise. I probably won't be able to go very far you know. He'll be bored stiff."

"I wouldn't worry about that. My little dynamo will be at the gym later anyway, he has a LOT of energy don't you babe?" Polly grinned as Pete returned and she kissed him on the cheek.

"You bet your ass I do." Pete slapped Polly's ass as they made their way to the door.

"Are you sure you're going to be OK? Text me goodnight will you?"

"I'm sure, and I will. Thanks." Piper closed the door behind them and looked around her front room. It was already late and as much as she had the urge to just have a glass to take her into a deep sleep, she remembered that Polly had cleared her out and she'd have to walk to the liquor store in the rain anyway. Sighing, she picked up her phone and plugged it in. It was out of battery and she couldn't help but hope there was a message from Alex when it beeped back into life a few minutes later. Jumping up, she saw 4 new texts and opened them quickly. One from Steve, saying he'd be in the city on Tuesday for the initial hearing at the court. Piper flicked past it, not wanting to think of that right now. Two from Polly yesterday, trying to find out why the store was closed. The final message was from Nicky, asking how she was. That meant Alex had told Nicky as well. Apparently the only fucking person not getting the heads up in person was her and she flicked to her last text exchange with Alex – a whole set of messages from Piper without reply about meeting up for lunch or dinner on Friday. Piper scoffed at her desperate pleas, which would have been sent when all the while the Dear John was lying on her door mat at home. She typed out a new one.

'Fuck you Alex.' Hitting send, she headed to the bathroom and turned the shower on, wanting to wash the whole sorry weekend away down the drain.

XXXXX

As promised, Pete was knocking on the front door at 6:30 the following morning and Piper opened it wearing her running gear.

"Good morning sunshine! You look better than yesterday champ!" Pete grinned as she closed the door behind her.

"I feel better, thanks. Are we starting with a brisk walk to warm up then Mr Motivator?"

"Sounds like a plan. I'll follow your lead m'lady." Pete bowed and they started to walk quickly towards the park, Piper holding her water bottle in one hand and setting her fitness app to record their progress with the other.

On reaching the park, they paused to do some stretches at a bench and Piper looked at the bright morning sun bursting through the trees.

"You know, I'd forgotten how good it feels to get out here at this time in the morning when it's quiet."

"I can take it or leave it to be honest. As long as I'm getting pumped, it doesn't matter where I am." Pete shrugged and he leaned down to stretch his hamstrings.

"I've always loved being outside. The solitude of running your worries away always starts my day off right. It's been months since I've been out here like this. I just hope I can keep up with you. Be gentle with me OK?" Piper smiled as they started to jog at a gentle pace. Her ribs weren't giving her as much pain as she had anticipated, so she started to relax into her stride a little. Half way around the first lap, she opened her legs more and started to pick up the pace a little so it was more akin to running. Pete turned and grinned at her as she gritted her teeth.

"Don't push it too much on day 1 champ or you'll be sore in the morning and won't be able to play out again."

"You want to go again tomorrow?" Piper furrowed her brow.

"Yeah, we're running partners now aren't we? You aren't going to drop me after our first running date are you?"

Piper laughed. "If you want to?"

"Yeah, it'd be cool to have a pair of sexy legs to chase down." He winked as he pressed the pace a little more as they neared the end of the last lap before warming down.

XXXXX

Piper was showered and changed and in the store for 8am on Monday morning, slightly before Polly arrived.

"Well, well. Looks like you survived Pete's training session. How was it?" Polly handed her a latte before taking her coat off.

"Fantastic actually. It was so nice to get out and work off some steam you know?"

"Well, I don't actually. I've never seen the interest in making yourself hot and sweaty if there wasn't an orgasm at the end of it. But, good for you. Just make sure you don't wear my man out so I'm still getting my morning workout too." Polly grinned at Piper rolling her eyes.

"We're going again tomorrow. If that fits with your 'workout' plans?"

"Did you just use air quotes?"

"It was part of my work out routine."

"You're not wearing lycra. Speaking of which, no sexy workout clothes when you're running with Pete."

"Afraid I might switch teams?" Piper raised her eyebrows.

"As if. You're Team Supercunt all the way." Polly immediately noticed Piper's smile fall from the banter they had been enjoying. "Shit, sorry P. I didn't mean to bring her up….."

"It's OK. It's not like she died or anything." Piper shrugged before heading to the door and opening up for the day.

"What time are our work experience newbies coming in?" Piper shouted over her shoulder.

"I don't know. Some time today though. Do you think they'll just turn up?"

"Nicky's taking care of it."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

"It was in Alex's letter." Piper said softly before heading out to the stock room door to get some air. She checked her phone to see if any reply had come through from Alex and there was nothing. She clicked her phone shut and came back inside after a few minutes, talking to Polly about what they were going to put into this business plan for their new marketing strategy.

XXXXX

At 10am, Nicky came in followed by two girls in their early 20's. One of the had braided blonde hair and a neck tattoo, walking with a bit of swagger as she came in behind Nicky. Piper eyed her cautiously, concerned about the image a girl with such an obvious tattoo working in their artisanal soap store might create. It was fine, she'd just make sure the rough looking girl was working in the back all day. The other girl seemed about the same age, but much more shy.

"Morning ladies! I believe you have been expecting us? I bring you workforce troops in the form of Tricia here with the striking cornrows and Brooke, who will talk to you eventually I promise."

"Hey. I'm Polly, and this is Piper." Polly replied simply when she saw Piper was too busy assessing the characters before them.

"Cool place you got here." Tricia smiled nervously as she tried to make some eye contact.

"It is. Let's keep it that way too." Piper said coolly.

"OK. Piper and Polly here own this cool place and they are very good friends of mine, so if you fuck anything up, they will be right on the blower to me. You hear?"

"We hear." Brooke rolled her eyes and Piper noticed immediately.

"Do you have any experience of shop work either of you?" Piper asked nervously.

Brooke snorted. "No. I've never been forced to work so closely with the consumerist society."

Piper narrowed her eyes and was quick to reply. "I find that hard to believe. Since you're wearing H&M clothes and Nike trainers, rather than footwear fashioned from dried reeds."

"Well I've spent a lot of time in shops yo, so I'm ready to go." Tricia clapped her hands together and tried to come across as confident.

"OK, good. Well, I'll let Polly talk you through how things work around here and I'll just have a word with Nicky in the back for a second."

Piper nodded for Nicky to join her in the back office and closed the door over as they both got inside.

"What the fuck Nicky?! That's not exactly the brand image we're trying to promote here you know. Fucking _neck tattoos_ for God's sake?!" She whisper shouted at the woman standing before her.

"Hmmm, Alex said you might have a problem with that…" She ran her hands into her wiry hair and shook it a little as though trying to settle it down.

"I don't give a flying _fuck_ what Alex said. Alex – as everybody in New York seems to already know – is not even fucking _here_!"

"Look, it's just for 2 weeks alright? Then they will be working with us at our place. We just aren't ready with the office space yet and Lorna's trying to work inside a building site at the moment so we can get things finished sooner."

"I don't care. Just tell them to go home and give them a later start date. I'm not having some pompous bitch who thinks she's above working in a shop….well, working in MY shop."

"Brooke will settle down. She's just new to erm….customer services. Put her in the stock room if you don't want her…interacting with the soap sniffing fraternity."

"I can't because I've got to put tattoo girl in there!" Piper stood with her arms folded across her chest.

"You mean Tricia. That's her name. Sorry blondie, but that's your problem to deal with. You've got 2 grunt workers for 2 weeks, for free. I'm sure that pretty lady brain of yours will think of something." Nicky punched her gently on the arm.

"Fucking Hell! Fine. I'll sort something out. But you owe me." Piper pointed a half threatening finger towards Nicky as she opened the door and walked back to find Polly showing the girls around the store. Nicky called her back before she could go though.

"Hey. Um….Alex said you might want a hand to look after the store tomorrow?"

"What?" Piper was confused why she would ask that.

"With the court appearance and everything. She didn't know if Polly wanted to be with you and you might want someone to hold the fort here….Look, it was just a suggestion. If you've got it covered it's fine. Forget I asked" Nicky held her hands up.

"Shit. I'd forgotten about the store. No, it's OK. Polly will be here. I'll be fine. Thanks though, for asking, Nicky." Piper smiled weakly.

"How are you?" Nicky ventured.

"Shitty."

"I guessed as much. Hang in there blondie. Things have a habit of working out in the end." Nicky pulled her into a gentle side hug.

"Will they? I don't believe that anymore. I just…..can't believe she left me Nic." Piper sighed as Nicky gripped her a little tighter.

"I know, it sucks." No other words were needed and Nicky pulled Piper's head to her shoulder.


	71. Chapter 71

**A/N: First things first – well done to the GB Women's hockey team for progressing to their first ever Olympic final last night by beating NZ! I counted them taking three hockey balls to the face and every one of them finished the game. Awesome!**

 **Secondly...**

 **I don't know who is having a harder time right now - Piper, Alex or me with reviews for these chapters! The reviews on the last 2 chapters have been immense and thanks to everyone who has taken the time to write some reviews that are longer than some of the unfinished fics on this site ;-). I'm not going to lie, I've been flummoxed with what to do after these reviews. I even considered re-writing 69 and 70 to calm the hate for Alex as it's really got to me how some people think she doesn't deserve / love Piper. I'm extremely grateful for those reviewers who have re-read and given me a chance to win them over with a new and less harsh perspective and those reviewers who encourage me to write my own story. I do forget sometimes that this isn't a 'vote for your preferred story thread' fic and I could write a massive meteor shower landing on the whole cast drinking milkshakes at a Lady GaGa concert in the next chapter if I wanted to - because it is MY story after all right?***

 **I also looked into whether any of you are Beta readers to get some feedback on two alternate versions of chapter 71 that I've written. I didn't see any names I recognised in there, so I've had to just post without feedback because I needed someone who already knows and follows the story. On the up side, over 40 reviews on each of the last 2 chapters has flushed out some reviews from readers who probably haven't commented before, so I'm happy that so many people are reading.**

 **What I WILL do is make a minor tweak to the previous chapter so this version of 71 works, so if you see two chapter alerts, that's the reason why.**

 ***No Lady GaGa fans or milkshakes were harmed in the making of this chapter.**

"Where is she Nicky?" Piper moved away from the shorter woman to see her eyes more clearly and Nicky was looking everywhere but at Piper.

"I know you know, so tell me. She's not answering my texts."

"Look, I'm not getting in the middle of this. You two need to work this out without me."

"I'm not asking you to get involved. I'm asking you where she is." Piper moved to stand in front of the door so Nicky was hemmed in. Nicky sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

"This isn't fair Piper. She's my friend and I can't betray her trust."

"Is she still in the city?"

"She was making arrangements for a trip to Europe to see some big cheeses."

"So if I went over to her apartment right now, I wouldn't find her there?" Nicky looked up and caught Piper's piercing blue eyes burning a hole into her.

"No, you wouldn't."

Piper's shoulders slumped and she sat back onto the desk, thinking about where else the brunette might have gone to.

Nicky chewed her lip and looked to the ceiling, searching for some divine intervention on the right thing to do. "Because she wouldn't answer the door." Nicky muttered finally.

"What?" Piper's head spun around.

"But say, if you left your hair straighteners there and I gave you a spare key to go and get them….You might find what you were looking for. But only if you tell me you REALLY need to find those hair straighteners." Nicky dug into her pocket and pulled a key off her set to hand to Piper. "You know the key codes right?"

"I do…Thanks Nic…..I-."

"Don't thank me yet blondie. You haven't found your hair straighteners. Just…..fuck, I don't know. Don't do anything stupid OK? I love lesbian drama as much as the next person, but you do it on a tightrope over the Grand Canyon." Nicky shook her head and left Piper staring at the key.

"Pol! I'm going out for a bit. I…..I think I know where Alex is." She was gone before Polly could answer and on her way to Alex's apartment. The adrenaline was moving through her veins and propelling her to her final destination before she could work out what the Hell she was going to say. Parking in the garage, she pushed the button for the top floor in the elevator and tapped her fingers anxiously on the rail as the floors passed slowly. It felt as though Alex might be taking the stairs in the opposite direction at any moment and every minute counted.

Arriving outside of Alex's door, she was reminded of the last time she stood outside this wooden door, bearing a bunch of flowers and following that up with the 'I think we should take a break' conversation that started this whole mess. She opted to knock first and see if she would get an answer. After a couple of tries, she lifted the key to the door and pushed it into the lock. Half expecting it to be the wrong key, she turned it slowly and was surprised to find it turning. She pushed the door handle down and opened the door to find Alex making coffee in the kitchen. She pushed the door shut so it slammed a little behind her, causing Alex to look up.

"Shit."

"Now there's a word. More than I've heard from you in the last few days anyway."

"Piper…"

"Don't stop. Now you've found your words, I'm all ears to hear them. Unless you would prefer to write them down? You seem to prefer the one way kind of communication lately."

"OK. I deserved that." Alex ran her hand through her hair, anxiously anticipating the wrath that was inevitably coming her way.

"Did I deserve to get a Dear John letter too?"

"It wasn't about what you deserve."

"Why did you do it? Why did you make me think you'd left?"

"To avoid this."

"What? A two-way conversation where we can BOTH participate?" Piper took her coat off and threw it onto the sofa, indicating she was not leaving any time soon.

"Yes."

"What gives you the right to break up with me like that?"

"YOU wanted to break up with ME remember?!"

"Oh, I remember. I remember you fighting for us to stay together. I remember you telling me it wasn't MY decision and you didn't accept it. You wanted to be with me last week Alex. You wanted to fight for our relationship. I stayed – do you remember that?!"

"Yes, I do remember that. I remember being selfish and not thinking about what you might want. I remember not sleeping for fear of you not being there when I woke up. I remember feeling that I was holding onto you so tightly that I would be the one to break you." Her green eyes were holding the blue ones that were equally burning across the kitchen.

"I STAYED Alex. I didn't go anywhere!" Piper threw her hands up, exasperated by Alex's paranoia.

"That time you did. But what about the next time, or the time after that?!"

"I don't understand?" Piper furrowed her brow.

"You're always going to leave me Piper. Whether it's after an argument or in fear of something you're dealing with. I can't live a life with that gnawing feeling that you might not be there when I get home or if we argue that you'll walk out on me. It damn near killed me last time and I can't deal with the thought of that happening again." Alex sighed and pushed her glasses into her hair, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"So, you thought you'd walk out on me and give me a taste of my own medicine. Is that it?"

"No! If we weren't together, you wouldn't need to run away from me and I wouldn't be constantly trying to anticipate it."

"Why couldn't you tell me this last week?"

"Because I didn't realise it last week. Why didn't you take the time to explain to me why YOU thought it would be better for us to break up last week?"

"Touche."

Alex sighed. "Since you're apparently staying, would you like a coffee?"

"Yeah, coffee would be good." Piper slipped her shoes off and walked to the sofa while Alex took her time making coffee for both of them.

"Why didn't you answer my texts?" Piper asked when Alex sat down, putting their mugs onto the coffee table.

"Which one? The invitation to dinner after I'd just put a letter through your door in the singular most cowardly act ever? Or the fuck you?" Alex deadpanned.

"Both."

"I don't know. I thought I was doing the right thing by getting out of your life. I thought you might be better getting your rage out and then forgetting about me and that I could do the same." Alex swirled her coffee around with intense concentration.

"That's a cop out answer."

"Maybe it is."

"And you don't run from confrontation. Ever. You face it head on, no bullshit. It's just not how you are. Why can't you be straight with me?"

"I don't know what answer you're digging for here, so how about we both agree I'm a shitty person and you were right, I was wrong, blah blah?" Alex's tone was forcibly indifferent and it set Piper's blood boiling that she wouldn't argue her point.

"For fuck's sake Alex!" Piper snatched the mug out of Alex's hands and slammed it onto the coffee table, spilling hot coffee everywhere. "I don't want that!"

"What DO you fucking want then? How about we start with that?!" Alex shot back.

"I don't know. You to be a normal human being again for a start instead of this person I don't recognise who can't talk to me."

"I can't give you what it is that you need."

"What is it that you think I need?" Piper asked, surprised by the statement.

"I don't know. That's the problem. Space? Independence maybe? Control of your own decisions?"

"Control that you took from me when you made the decision to break up."

"Yes. I know. See? I'm swimming in unchartered waters here Piper and I have no fucking clue what direction to head into. I'm supposed to be able to save you from drowning while you're dealing with this court case and the counselling. All I seem to be doing is pulling you under."

"So, what? It's too hard, so you just give up?"

"I'm trying to do the right fucking thing here Piper." Alex spoke through a clenched jaw.

"Are you? Or are you just thinking the nice sandy beach looks like the better option? Am I too much trouble for you? Is that the problem? I've got too much baggage to deal with these days and you prefer the old Piper who was a little uptight, but was much easier to deal with?"

"No! That's not what I'm saying at all! Jesus Christ. Call me a selfish asshole, but I'm worn out with tiptoeing over the minefield of trying to help you. I'm either saying the wrong thing and you're going off like a firecracker or I'm not attentive enough and you're blowing up at me. It's fucking exhausting and I'm sick of being kicked around!" Alex stood up and paced the room.

"Finally a bit of honesty!"

"Are you leaving now?" Alex sniped.

"No I'm not, because that's exactly what you're hoping for isn't it?! Well tough shit, because things are finally getting real. You're talking to me properly for the first time in ages and I can finally understand what the fuck is going on inside that head."

"You call this TALKING?! It looks a lot like yelling to me." Alex scoffed.

"I don't care what the volume is Alex. I care what the words are so yell some more. Tell me what you really think. Come on." Piper stood up too, hand on hips, goading Alex to reply.

"Now you're being ridiculous."

"Am I? Come on, let's have it. Here's your chance to get it all off your chest. No pen and paper required."

"I told you why I did that! Yet another fucking thing on the black list of things to be held against me every time we have a fight."

"Is that the best you've got? What, are you too scared to get angry with the poor rape victim?!" Piper's eyes were blazing now and she was breathing heavily from the shouting and the adrenaline.

Alex shot her a look and clenched her jaw. "Piper…"

Piper froze as she saw Alex's eyes, realisation suddenly dawning on her. "That's exactly it isn't it?" Piper sat back on the sofa and ran her hand through her hair.

"This is fucking pointless and it's doing neither of us any good to go on like this."

"I disagree." Piper said quietly as she stared at the floor.

"What? Look, you're probably tired with the court case coming up and-."

"Don't do that."

"Fine." Alex sat back onto the sofa wearily.

"You're holding back all the time aren't you? Jesus, why didn't I see this sooner?" Piper shook her head and pulled her hair back behind her ear.

"You're reading too much into this. You can't analyse stuff that's said in the heat of the moment."

"I know you Alex. I know you only placate me in an argument if you need it to be over quickly because you had a deal to sort out. This time I couldn't put my finger on it until now. You haven't been fighting back."

"If this is your way of pushing my buttons to provoke a reaction, I'm not biting."

"Proving my point."

"Seriously?! Alright, fine. Yes, I feel guilty as Hell for you going to prison and if it weren't for me, none of this fucking SHITFEST would have happened to you OK?"

"You didn't put me behind bars, the law did."

"Which they wouldn't have done without my information."

"You didn't lie, it was the truth. I broke the law, I was punished. But it's not all about that. You feel guilty about the rape don't you?"

"I feel guilty for ALL OF IT Piper! Who knows what you might be doing now if you hadn't met me."

"And you're letting me use you as a punch bag every time I get angry because what, you think you deserve it?!"

"It's not a conscious decision, but yes, I suppose that's one way of looking at it."

"It's not your fault, so can you stop playing the martyr? If I hadn't been such a prissy tell-tale when I went inside, I wouldn't have been in that situation. You can't live your life feeling guilty over something you had no control over."

"I did though didn't I? I could have not named you."

"We've been over this. Someone else would have if it wasn't you. I was going down regardless. We need to let it heal Alex."

"How?! How can it heal when it's right there in every room we walk into together, hanging over us like a cloud of doom?"

"Cut it the Hell loose is how! Jesus, when did you get so into self pity?!"

"I'M into self pity?! Really? I'm not the one who's drinking a bottle of vodka every time shit doesn't go my way!"

They stood, glaring at each other for a moment before Piper's lip started to quiver. Alex looked at her, holding her breath, sure she had gone too far and about to offer an awkward apology when Piper started laughing. First from her throat, then a fully on belly laugh with tears streaming down her face. Alex stared at her for a moment before finding herself laughing as well, more so from Piper gasping for air and clutching her stomach.

"Oh my God, that felt good." Piper wiped her eyes and caught her breath finally.

"I think you're actually losing your marbles." Alex sat next to her, shaking her head.

"I've missed that." Piper looked up to see Alex looking at her as though she had grown another head.

"You liked us arguing?"

"Yeah. It felt….real I think."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Can I make another appointment?" Piper chanced a small smile and Alex returned it.

"Sure. But what happens in shout club stays in shout club alright?" Alex pushed her fingers through her hair, pulling it over to one side, relieved that some of the tension had been released from the pressure valve.

"Totally. Do I do the weird induction ceremony with the chicken head now or do you need to get the gown first?" Piper grinned as she saw Alex relax.

"Oh, I need the gown and the ceremonial sword obviously."

"Obviously. It would be null and void without it."

They were quiet for a while, each with their own thoughts before Alex spoke again.

"I'm sorry Piper. For thinking I know best."

"I'm no better. I've spun you around like a yo-yo without any explanation half the time. You see a slightly older version of the woman you dated on the outside and have no idea what happened to the person inside until you take the lid off and a jack-in-the-box jumps out and punches you in the face before disappearing back inside. I forget that this is hard for you too."

"I just wish I knew how to help you through this."

"Just be there. You've been obsessing over the fact you're not a damned rape counsellor or a Lawyer or psychologist and you're too busy Googling how to get the key skills and answers that you're not doing what you're best at."

"Only because I want to help you."

"I don't need a rape counsellor, or a Lawyer. That's what I'm paying professionals for. They spent years learning how to be experts in their field and I don't want or expect you to know the first thing about either of those things."

"I've been trying to control everything and apparently that's the wrong thing to do, so-."

"Did Google tell you that?" Piper raised an eyebrow.

"No. Well, yes. But I also had a counselling session with someone who works with Julie in Queensboro last week."

"You had counselling?"

"Yeah. I wanted to understand how to help you."

"Wow…..OK….." Piper drank some more of her coffee and Alex continued.

"She said I needed to let you do things in your own way and on your own terms, to not make decisions for you. Give you space."

"So you did the exact opposite and broke up with me without talking to me about it?"

"Apparently, yes. Maybe I was focusing on the 'space' part a little too much hey?" Alex smiled, more sure she was on safe ground now. Piper moved her hand over to where Alex's was laying on her thigh and turned it over to slip her hand into the warm palm. Alex looked over to her to see Piper watching their hands fit together, feeling her running her thumb over the skin on her wrist.

"I'm not an exam Alex. There are no right and wrong answers. I'm not asking you to be an expert in anything. I just need you to be there for me. I might storm out when things get rough, but I'll always come back. When I want feeding probably. There's every likelihood that I'll lash out and say something I regret too. But there's nobody on this planet who is more experienced and capable of dealing with that, with me, than you…..Alex, look at me."

Pulling her glasses back over her eyes, Alex levelled with the deep oceans of blue that were laid bare before her now.

"I need you. YOU Alex. Not some expert. Not someone who treats me with kid gloves. Not someone who is frightened to say the wrong thing and is holding back on me. I need you to be real for me. Can you do that? Can you be Alex again?"

"Things can't be the same as they used to be Piper….We're different people now." Alex pulled her hand away and ran it along her jeans.

"I know. All I'm asking is that you're consistent and you're honest with me. That's all I need and I'll swim to you on the sandy beach. As long as I know it's not going anywhere, I can do it."

"OK. I guess I'm quite well qualified to be me. That will come with a side order of assholeness though…."

"You are and I only want the main dish if it comes with the side order." Piper smiled.

"I guess we've got to learn to trust each other again." Alex said after they'd been quiet for a while.

"Yeah. It's kind of a big word isn't it?"

"The biggest. You were right though. We need to take a step back and I'm sorry I wouldn't hear it when you tried to talk to me last time. It took a lot of thinking and that counselling session to realise I was making everything worse by blocking my ears to something I didn't want to hear. I wrote that letter because I was tired of fighting. It was cold…I know that."

"Friends?" Alex held her hand out to shake on it and Piper took it. "Yeah, friends."

Piper glanced over to the coffee table and was reminded about all the coffee she spilled earlier. "Let me get a cloth for that." She stood to walk into the kitchen and Alex followed her with their mugs. Piper ducked down to get a cloth from the cupboard and went to wipe up the luke-warm liquid when Alex caught her wrist.

"Hey….Thank you….For coming over here."

"Don't be mad at Nicky for kind of sort of telling me, will you?"

Alex chuckled. "I bet she's shitting herself right now that I'm going to tear down her front door."

"It might be like the look on her face when I was making her tell me where you were. Poor girl." Piper chuckled back before dropping her eyes to look at Alex's fingers, still loosely holding her wrist. The brunette was suddenly conscious of their skin touching and dropped her arm, stuffing her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. Piper cleared her throat to shake the moment away and walked over to the coffee table to wipe up the spillage before gathering her coat and putting her shoes back on. "I need to go. The court appearance is tomorrow at 11 and I need to get some rest or I'll be dead on my feet."

"Do you want me to come with you tomorrow?"

"No, it's alright. Thanks though. It's only so he can enter a plea. It will be quick and Steve's going to be there anyway, so I won't be on my own."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be OK. I'll let you know how it goes. Are you here tomorrow?"

"I will still be here tomorrow, yes…"

"And the day after?"

"I do need to join Bill in London this week. I was kind of hanging back to see how the court case went tomorrow before I made any decisions."

"Right. Yeah." She moved towards the door. "I'll let you know then."


	72. Chapter 72

**A/N: Hey, what a week! So happy for Team GB coming 2nd place in the medals table and especially the Women's Hockey Gold ! Netherlands were a well-deserved Silver WB79, so congrats on that. Also Bronze for your guys prooffice, so good results! Librarybook, you have one of the fastest hockey teams out there, so no doubt NZ will be back with a vengeance next time! Yes, emj137, I'm dreading the weekend TV schedule already! Argh!**

 **Over 800 reviews for this fic now - well done to qtjen for being the number 800 :-) and thanks for each and every one of those. Thanks for your kind words Sugarlandaddict23, phatomframefta5, Sennag, Shaster, JessTerr, candyhunter, Tiff3rn33 and all of the guests who left a few words. The rage has died down now, so I have a new chapter for you guys and the next is close to being finished too. I'm pacing you though ;-) Since it is a Bank Holiday weekend here in the UK, I might post it later this weekend if I get a chance.**

 **Very tenuously linked to just having the Olympics in Rio...have any of you seen the Brazilian web series 'Red' on Vimeo? There were 2 series (6 episodes in each I think?) on there, but all episodes might not be there any more, so maybe try YouTube if you haven't heard of it - don't think I can post any weblinks on here. It's about 2 actresses who fall for each other while filming a show and it's really well acted on a budget. They are crowd funding a 3rd series right now I think, but please have a look. It's good!**

Piper was a little sore the next morning from her first time stretching her legs with Pete, but she didn't want to let him down when he showed up at 6:30 again on Tuesday. They walked briskly to the park and stretched before Piper insisted Pete ran properly while she went at a much lighter pace with her headphones in. She could feel tightness in her calves and the intercostal muscles between her ribs were also a little inflamed from the unexpected exertion yesterday. Despite that, it was good to get out and breathe in the cold morning air as she jogged slowly around the park, her high pony swinging from side to side as she moved. She was going to the court later that morning to see whether Darryl would enter a guilty plea and really wanted to take her mind off it until she absolutely had to face it. Despite reassuring Polly that she would be fine and didn't need her to be there, she was nervous about it. If he entered a guilty plea, she wouldn't need to go on the stand at all and it would all be over quickly. If he had the audacity to submit a not guilty…..well, that was a whole different thing. She listened to some music on her headphones until Pete caught her and joined her for a warm down before they headed back.

"How's the legs sport?"

"Sore. I really wanted to be able to work my muscles today you know. I just needed to burn off a bit of the tension before I go to this God damned court hearing later."

"Man, that sucks. Are you nervous?"

"Massively. It will be quick apparently, but it's such a big day because it determines how long this will be hanging around my neck. Like it hasn't already been hanging around for too long." Piper grumbled as they waited at a crossing.

"Surely there's too much evidence against him for it to be anything other than guilty though, right? He'd have to be mad to think he could get away with it at this point."

"I hope you're right."

They approached Piper's house and Pete gave her a quick hug.

"Listen, if you're sore tomorrow we can take a break for a day you know. Let your legs rest a bit?" He offered as she started walking backwards to his car.

"No, I'd like to keep going. It gives me something to focus on and I like to feel my muscles ache a little."

"Well, if your legs are aching, maybe we could head to my gym instead and you can do some upper body work or something? It would give your legs a breather, but you're still getting the work out."

"I'd love to, but I can't afford gym membership on top of my other bills at the moment."

"I've got some free passes for being a gold member, you can use one of them for a month trial if you want? They'll even do you a work out programme as part of the induction. Anyway, I'll come round tomorrow at the same time and we can see how you feel OK?" Pete waved as he jogged back to his car.

Steve texted her to say he'd be in court from about 10am and would she have time for a catch up afterwards as he's staying in the city overnight. She replied to say she'd see him soon and yes, she had no plans tonight before heading for the shower.

Standing in front of her mirror in what was really the business suit she wore for important work presentations, she put her earrings in and applied some light make up. A little extra around her eyes to hide the dark circles from the last few sleepless night and she was ready to go. Subconsciously finding things to do that would stall the trip to the gallows, she plugged her phone in to charge the 10% it had dropped since she already charged it this morning and checked to see if there were any messages. There was a voicemail from her Dad, saying he was sorry he couldn't be there with her and another from Cal. They must have left them both last night when her phone was dead. Texts wishing her luck came through from Nicky and Polly as well as one from Alex.

'Hey, thinking of you today. I'm right where I said I would be if you need anything. X'

Piper smiled. Knowing Alex hadn't left and she was still in the city had lifted a weight off her shoulders and she already felt more positive about the court visit as a result of their conversation last night. She hadn't really had time to dwell on what happened yesterday because she'd been so exhausted when she got home, but there was a lot to think on when she had the head space. Hopefully, that could start after the guilty plea today.

XXXXX

She met her Lawyer outside the court room and they had a quick conversation about what would happen today and he reassured her that she could hang in the back row if she wanted to or not even go in. Piper knew that she needed to face this head on and deal with the Bogeyman if she was ever going to put this behind her. Steve tapped her shoulder as she stood in front of the door, preparing herself to go in with a few stern words of inner monologue about staring the bad guy down.

"Hey, I'm happy to see you!" Steve hugged her tightly, gently swaying them both from side to side as he gripped her back with his palms.

"Me too! It's all so formal with all the legal people everywhere. Are you here on your own?"

"Yeah, I had a late shift last night, so set off really early this morning. How about you? Any fan club here for moral support?" He looked around behind her for anyone lurking uncomfortably as he held her for longer than needed.

"No. We'd better go in I think." Piper nodded towards the door and Steve offered his arm to her as he pushed the door open for both of them.

Everyone took their places and Piper shivered at how familiar the set up was to her. She wasn't used to sitting in the gallery, but her stomach flipped when she recognised the door where the person on trial was going to come from as she'd walked through a very similar door herself. Steve must have felt her tense up next to him as he moved to hold her hand as they sat close to each other. He squeezed her hand lightly as the door at the back opened and Darryl was led through by two security staff, handcuffed and in a smart navy suit. He looked like he was about to give a Best Man's speech at a wedding and not about to go on trial for rape and attempted rape. There wasn't a bit of remorse or shame in his demeanour and Piper felt angry at how little he seemed to be affected by all of this. He was led to a seat next to his legal team, thankfully facing away from them now. Piper couldn't decide whether she had wanted Darryl to see her in the crown or not when he first walked through the door, but she felt better for being able to bore her hate-filled eyes through the back of his shiny head as everyone waited for the Judge to arrive. After a few minutes of quiet chatter, someone stood and told everyone to stand for the arrival of the Judge, seating themselves just as quickly when she sat down.

"It's a woman. That has to be a good thing for a rape trial right?" Steve leaned in and whispered to her.

"I don't know if it will make a difference for the plea. Will it be the same one if it goes to trial?" Piper whispered back, before someone in the row in front turned to scowl at them. Piper mouthed an apology as the legal talk in the background introduced the powers of the court… yada yada.

Eventually, their ears pricked up when they asked the defendant to stand for the charges to be read. Two counts of rape, one of attempted rape and one indecent assault. They couldn't see his face as the charges were read out, but the next words spoken by the Judge were to ask how the defendant would plead. Piper held her breath for the longest time. She didn't even remember taking a breath to hold, she just stopped breathing completely for fear of the change in C02 levels in the room changing the plea to something negative. Darryl's Lawyer leaned in to whisper something in his ear before Darryl cleared his throat and entered his plea.

"Not guilty Your Honour."

XXXXX

The court room was practically empty by the time Steve got anything more than a vacant stare into space from Piper.

"Come on Piper, they'll be locking us in here if we don't get out of this place." Steve meant it as a joke, but Piper's head spun around to face him quickly and he immediately realised his mistake.

"Bad choice of words. Sorry, that was stupid. Let's get some air." He guided her up from the seats and out of the main court room into the corridor. Piper's Lawyer was talking to someone else in a suit outside and called them over.

"Piper. This is David Sinclair, he'll be the main Prosecutor on the case now we're going to trial."

The tall, grey haired man held his hand out to shake her hand and introduced himself to Steve too.

"Nice to meet you both. We weren't expecting them to go down this route. The evidence against him is robust, so I really think he is taking a big risk here. We have a strong case Piper, we just need to make sure we're watertight on the finer details now as they must think they have something to chink our armour….."

Piper couldn't listen to any more and pulled herself free of Steve's arm on her back, muttering something about needing the bathroom before running down the corridor. She leaned over the sink and waited for the bile to rise high enough that she could be sick and be rid of the overwhelming nausea, but it wouldn't come. She was sweating and her heart was pumping furiously, not sure where to direct the adrenaline filled blood first. She pulled her phone out and called Polly, not knowing what to do. No answer. Feeling faint, she went to sit in one of the stalls, so at least she wouldn't look like a complete freak to anyone who might walk into the bathroom and find her crawling around on the floor. She fumbled around with her phone to try and swipe the screen to scroll through her contacts. The first name to flash up at the start of the alphabet was the person she wanted to talk to the most. She hit the call button and brought the phone to her ear before she'd even thought about what she might say. Her heart beat seemed to steady just from the ringing sound of Alex's phone and Piper closed her eyes to focus on it.

"Hey, is everything OK?" Alex answered, concern evident in her voice.

"He's pleaded not guilty." Piper choked on any words that might have furnished further details.

"Shit, I'm sorry Pipes."

"I'll have to go through a trial."

"Yeah."

"I….don't think I can."

"You might not need to take the stand yet. They've got a shitload of evidence against him, so he might change his plea before it gets that far."

"What if he doesn't?"

"Then you take the stand and make sure you put the nail in that fucker's coffin."

"What if I'm the chink in the defence's armour? What if my past comes back to bite me and he gets off because of it?"

"You're getting way ahead of yourself here Piper. You're just one piece of the jigsaw. The whole case doesn't hinge on you taking the stand. You're not on trial here."

"I am though aren't I?"

"Nope. Sorry Pipes, but you're ensemble cast in this show. You'll be credited with a guest appearance if it makes you feel any better."

"Asshole." Piper smiled.

"Hey, I'm just managing your expectations. Where are you?"

"Sitting on the bathroom floor in a stall at the courthouse."

"What?! Why are you sitting on the floor?"

"I felt a bit sick."

Alex could tell something was off with the way Piper was speaking on the call and her breathing wasn't right.

"Ew, do you even realise what germs you're sitting in right now?"

"I hadn't thought about that actually."

"There will be piss splashback from half a dozen incontinent old women who've been drinking too much tea before watching their delinquent nephew get off with a fine for smoking dope in the Target parking lot."

"That's a very specific kind of pee threat you're alerting me to there."

"It's not as bad as the new law grad who's shooting diarrhoea into the bowl before her very first court appearance. Do you want me to continue? Are you standing up yet?"

"I'm standing now, yes. And no to continuing. I've heard enough about the bathroom habits of the ladies in court for today."

"Well, feel free to tune in for another instalment if you feel yourself drawn to the germ infested floor of another public restroom won't you?"

"I will, now I know what channel you're on."

"Please wash your hands thoroughly after this broadcast and also your phone. Wash everything."

"OK, I will."

"You OK?"

"Yeah, better."

"Good, because I've got a sudden urge to go clean my bathroom right now."

"I won't keep you then. Bye Alex."

"See you Pipes."

Piper was touching up her make-up in the mirror when Steve popped his head through the door.

"Psst. Everything OK?"

"Yeah, sorry." Piper chuckled at Steve's embarrassment at looking into the ladies room. "I took my time to make sure the legal people were done talking by the time I got back. Are they gone? Is it safe to come out?"

"Yeah, I definitely took a bullet for you with that. I have no idea what half of it meant, but basically it means there will be another day in court in 3-4 weeks to start going through the evidence. I'll wait outside for you. I feel a bit nervous about perving in the ladies room when every person coming in here has probably got the power to arrest me for it."

XXXXX

Piper invited Steve around to her place for dinner and a drink and they sat talking about his job and some of the interesting cases he's got involved with since he graduated. He was clearly loving his work and Piper enjoyed seeing his enthusiasm and relaxed into the sofa as he talked about some of his research projects. She was exhausted from not sleeping well for the past few nights and Steve's familiar voice was so relaxing that it lulled her to sleep as she sat against the sofa. Steve gently woke her up with his hand on her shoulder.

"Hey sleepy head. My cab is here, so I'm going to head back to my hotel now Piper."

"Oh. OK. Sorry, I was just resting my eyes."

Steve chuckled as he put his jacket on. "Yeah, right. Thanks for a lovely dinner. You make awesome pasta." He winked as he leaned down to give her a hug.

"I haven't been shopping! Make me feel guilty why don't you?!" Piper swatted his arm playfully before rising and seeing him out of the door. She was exhausted and quickly in bed after getting washed in the bathroom.

XXXXX

On Wednesday morning, Piper found herself signing up to a month long membership of the gym the Pete was already a member of. After signing her forms to join, she changed and waved goodbye to Pete as she got taken on an induction of the gym by one of the instructors, Jess. She was a tall African-American who seemed to be built of pure muscle as she demonstrated the equipment for Piper to understand the correct technique before the blonde tried it for herself.

"What are your aims then Piper? What is it you're wanting to achieve from joining the gym?" Jess asked when they were walking to the free weights section.

"Um…I don't really know. I like to run usually, but my legs have been a bit achy doing it on consecutive days, so I guess I just wanted to break it up so it wasn't all leg work. Maybe something to tone up more all over. What do you do to look so ripped?" Piper gestured up and down Jess's body.

"I work here and I'm on the equipment A LOT." Jess laughed as she altered the weights for the machine Piper would be using for working her triceps.

"OK. I'm not saying my goal is a body like yours. I don't have the dedication for that, I'll be honest."

Jess raised her eyebrow, unsure if there was an innuendo in there.

"Oh, I didn't mean like your body IS my goal." Piper stammered.

"You have a lot to say about my body for someone who just met me an hour ago Piper."

Piper flushed crimson and took a breath before Jess stopped her.

"As entertaining as it is to watch you digging a virtual hole there, it's not a virtual work out you're paying me for this morning. Come on, let me show you how to use this for your arms." Jess moved to stand in front of the machine and gripped the hand piece to pull the weights down slowly with her arm.

XXXXX

Getting in to the store, Piper told Polly about what happened at court the previous day (except the part about calling Alex) and her best friend shared her dismay at the fact the guy hadn't said he was guilty from the start.

"Fucking creep."

"Yeah, I know. So, we've got a few weeks before it all starts for real."

"How was Steve? Still pining after you with his gorgeous brown eyes?"

Piper rolled her eyes and scoffed. "No. He's great, really loving his job back home. I can't see him ever leaving that place."

"Does he know you're single?"

"No. And I don't want you telling him."

"Why? Afraid he might get on bended knee? Your parents would LOVE that."

"Precisely why it is NEVER going to happen."

"Is that the only reason it won't happen?"

"You know the reason."

"I do. I'm just messing with you. Did you see her yesterday?"

"Yeah. She's at home."

"So she sent you a letter and gave me the whole speech about needing space and she didn't even leave her apartment?!"

"Pretty much."

"What the Hell was all that about then?"

"It's complicated. I sort of understand though now. We're not on the same page, but I think we might be reading the same book at least. She was breaking up for the right reasons, but there isn't a good way to do that I guess. Reasoned discussion isn't my strong point at the best of times and I think she was trying to avoid another case of emotional chaos-itis. She's supposed to be heading to London for work, but she wants some sort of confirmation from me that I'm OK with it I think. I don't know Pol…..I was so upset with her leaving when I got that letter and the relief I felt when I saw her in her apartment was like a wave washing over me. To know that she's really not going to be here is a bit strange, but I'd at least know she was coming back…. I have to let her go don't I?"

"It's not like you'd be on your own."

"I know." Piper sighed. "How was it yesterday with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum?"

"They were OK. Brooke is a bit annoying with her political activism stories. Tricia is a bit like a hyperactive puppy. But they got on with some of the shitty stuff I hate doing. It smells lemony fresh out on the shop floor now."

"Oh good. I do like lemons."

It was the middle of the morning when Piper answered the phone to Lorna.

"Hey Piper. How are you?"

"I'm fine thanks. Wait. Was that a general greeting 'how are you?' or a 'how are you since Alex dumped you?' I forget everyone knows."

"Er…both?" Lorna was caught out by the question.

"Let's pretend it's the first. The answer is quicker, so I'm fine thanks. How are you?"

"I'm great. I wanted to ask you a favour actually."

"Does it involve finding work for more random employees that you can't actually employ yet?"

"No, it definitely doesn't." Lorna laughed. "I wanted to check you'd be OK with Tricia leaving a bit earlier tonight. She has an appointment at 4pm. Would you mind?"

"Not at all. Fine with us"

"Great! I'll pick her up at about 3:15 then. I'll see you later."

Piper put the phone down and walked into the store room, where Tricia was studiously undertaking a stock count on the floor.

"Hey, you doing OK in here?" Piper asked when she thought the counting of the sea kelp soaps was finished.

"Sure am. You've got loads of these back here, but none out there in the shop. You do know people can't buy them when they can't see them right?"

"Yes I do. They are in here because they aren't the current season of stock."

"Sea kelp has a season?"

"Yes, it's Autumn."

"Seriously?!" Tricia looked like she just found out Barack Obama had just been filling in as President because the real guy who won the votes had holiday booked when he had to take office.

"Yes, seriously. Anyway, I came in here to tell you that it's OK for you to leave early for your appointment later."

"Appointment?"

"Yes. Lorna Morello called to say you have an appointment at 4pm and she's coming to pick you up at 3:15. You don't know about it?" Piper was puzzled.

"Oh! It's a group meeting, not really an 'appointment'. But yeah, cool. Thanks."

"Group meeting?"

"Yeah, part of my rehab." Tricia avoided Piper's eyes as she spoke, clearly embarrassed at talking about it.

"You're in rehab? Like drugs rehab?" Tricia sensed Piper's voiced raised towards the end of the sentence and tried to make light of it.

"I'm clean yo. This is just to make sure I stay that way." She shrugged and opened a new box to start counting.

"Right. Well, you can go to your meeting. Just….don't you dare bring that stuff here."

"I won't! I'm clean man!"

Piper went out into the store and waved at Polly to come into the back office. Closing the door behind them, she started whisper-shouting.

"Did you know tattoo girl in there is a _junkie_?!"

"Is she?"

" _Yes!_ "

"How do you know? Is she doing drugs in here?" Polly was wide eyed as she whisper-shouted back.

"No. Lorna said she has to leave early to go to a meeting later. Tattoo girl says she's clean…but…I don't know Pol. I don't think we should have someone working in here who's been involved with drugs."

Polly raised here eyebrows, the irony of what she just said was completely lost on Piper.

"Piper….she said she's clean, right? Has she done anything to make you think otherwise?"

"No….Not yet anyway, but I've got my eye on her. Drugs make people do strange things."

"Oh yes, that's for sure."

"What does that mean?"

"You have to ask?"

"Yes, apparently I do."

"Drugs made you slide all the way along the Kinsey Scale and carry drug money across international borders." Polly crossed her arms.

"Yes! I didn't TAKE them Polly – and don't make out like I skip around on the spectrum of gayness."

"No, you just enabled people like her to get drugs and become addicted."

"Alright fine. But I'm watching her. One slip up and I will call Nicky."

"OK." Polly shrugged.

XXXXX

Lorna arrived just after 3pm and bought a couple of gift packs for her family when Tricia told her about the special offers that they had in the store. Lorna said Tricia could get a quick smoke outside before they set off when Piper said she wanted a quick word with her.

"Why didn't you tell us she was in rehab for drugs Lorna?" Piper and Polly were in the main store while Brooke took out the trash in the back.

"Um…I didn't think about it to be honest." Lorna was worried she was going to get caught in something Alex had or hadn't said to Piper when she agreed to take these girls on for them.

"It seems strange that you only said it was an appointment and I only got told today. Surely, she would know about these appointments sooner than the same day?" Piper had her arms crossed over her chest.

"Well, it is an appointment. But she needed a sponsor to attend and we were trying to find one. She only got one confirmed today, so she can go to the meeting tonight. Why? Is there a problem?"

Polly cut in. "No. There isn't a problem. We just would have liked to know sooner is all."

"Who is her sponsor?" Piper asked.

"Why? Does it matter?" Lorna seemed defensive.

"Not really. I just think you're doing a lot for someone who just started work for you yesterday. There have to be better quality candidates out there who would snap your arm off to work for you. Why are you busting a gut for a waster junkie?"

Lorna was a bit surprised by the force of Piper's accusatory tone and decided to pause for thought before replying. She didn't want to be on the receiving end of a Chapman rant and risk the girls being kicked out of PoPi over a misunderstanding. When she replied, her tone was gentle and honest.

"Because everybody deserves a second chance Piper. Especially when they try to change and be a better person, learn from their mistakes. I'm her sponsor. I've never done it before, but someone gave me a second chance once and it changed my life."


	73. Chapter 73

**A/N: Bellacjh - yes, I made a minor change to the previous chapter so Alex hadn't arrived in London when the letter was read so the story was altered a little. Hope you're following!**

 **Here's the second upload for the Bank Holiday, as promised. Thanks for the reviews already added for 72 and enjoy the rest of your weekend folks :-)**

Alex called Piper on Wednesday night. She wanted to make sure they kept things platonic but figured Piper called her yesterday and it was her turn to check in.

"Hey, is now a good time to call?"

"Hi Alex. Yeah, I was just tidying the house so perfect timing to stop. What's up?"

"I just wanted to see how you're feeling after yesterday. Did you sleep alright last night?"

Piper sat on her sofa, tucking her legs beneath her and turning the volume down on the TV.

"I'm OK actually. Steve came around last night after the court thing, so he took my mind off things for a while."

"I bet he did."

"Not like that."

"And how is your number 1 fan? Still lighting a candle in front of your shrine every night?"

"He's doing great, thanks for asking. I'll be sure to tell him you did."

"You could write it in the message on your next autographed photo for him."

"I'm not autographing any photos Alex." Piper rolled her eyes

"Well, that IS disappointing. Steve-o's efforts all wasted."

"I'm sure he won't be too wounded."

"Shame."

"What's happening with your London trip? Are you still going?"

"That's one of the reasons I'm calling. I wanted to book flights, but I think we should talk before I go."

"That sounds ominous."

"In the interests of continuing peace talks between shout club sessions, I thought it would be good to have that conversation before I go anywhere. Then we both know where we stand. It's part of my 'being Alex' plan."

"There's a plan?"

"Of course there's a plan. I can rustle up some PowerPoint slides if that swings the deal?"

"When you put it into burn down graphs, how can I refuse?"

"Good. How are you fixed tomorrow night then?"

"Yeah, tomorrow night is fine."

"Let's meet at the pizza place on the corner of Georgetown and Ebeneezer at 7 then."

"OK."

"Good….well, goodnight then."

"Um, yeah. Ok. Night Alex."

XXXXX

Polly and Piper worked hard to focus on the business plan that they'd been fleshing out all week. They were putting figures against an itemised list of services and equipment that they wanted to invest in to be able to expand into online sales more. Piper was enjoying testing her brain with something a little more academic than the court case or her relationship, both of which had taxed her brain in all the worst ways of late.

"Pol, do you think we should split these up into must haves and nice to haves? It's starting to add up into some big figures that we'll need to spend."

"I don't know. I'm tempted to put the full wish list out there and get a reaction before we start paring it down." Polly chewed the end of her pen as she wrestled with the vagaries of formatting in Word. "Why the Hell does it keep putting a double line space after that paragraph just because I put a new subtitle in?" She banged on the track pad with her index.

"OK. How about I put it in order of importance and then we can talk quickly about what we could drop?"

"Sounds good to me."

Brooke pushed the office door open. "Customer."

Polly raised her head and glanced at Piper, who was obviously churning over how to respond as Polly replied.

"There is a customer in the store or there's a customer who needs serving?"

"Both." Brooke shrugged as she turned and walked back to her job of putting new pricing labels on the shelves.

"Did Alex say she was putting these two on the admin desk to answer customer calls?" Piper furrowed her brow in utter confusion at the role choice.

"I think she did. Which is possibly the very last place you'd want Little Miss Sunshine."

"Hmmm. I don't think Alex has actually interviewed these two. I just can't see her ever taking on someone with such an attitude."

"Mmm." Polly offered before going to find out what help she could offer the customer before Brooke offered any customer service.

XXXXX

Piper went home to change before heading out to meet Alex. She was trying not to anticipate what they might talk about too much, but it was clearly going to be a continuation of what they started on Monday. A part of her still wanted to avoid it and enjoy the ambiguity of where they were now. Alex was still around, she had her support system back and she didn't want to risk losing any of it. But she knew that avoidance of these issues is what caused them to be in this situation in the first place. If they were going to build trust, they had to learn to communicate.

She showered and struggled to decide what to wear. It wasn't a date, it was two friends meeting to talk…about important stuff. Settling on some ripped, grey skinny jeans and an off-shoulder chunky knit top with some light make up, she felt it was the right balance. She wore her hair down in loose curls and took a deep breath in the mirror.

"You need to do this. Technically, you're just friends now. It's safer like that."

Alex was already sitting in a corner booth, tapping out a message on her phone when Piper arrived.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself." Piper sat down and shrugged her coat off before picking up the menu. "Have you ordered?"

"Nope. I was waiting for you. I just ordered a pitcher of water."

"You're not drinking?"

"No. I need to drive home. I can drop you off if you wanted a drink though?"

"I'm OK. I'll have water as well."

They both looked down at the menus until the waitress interrupted them by placing the water in the middle of the table.

"Hey ladies, my name is Gloria and I'll be taking care of you tonight. Can I get you anything else to drink?"

"Er, no. We'll just have the water thanks Gloria." Alex answered with a smile.

"Sure, sure. Well, I'll give you a few minutes to look over the menu and if you have any questions please just wave and I'll be right over. The special tonight is seafood tagliatelle." Gloria flashed a mega watt smile before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Silence descended on them again as they both concentrated on the food options before Alex folded her menu and sat back into the red leather cushions. Piper felt green eyes on her as she went over the main courses for the tenth time, very aware that as soon as she dropped the menu there was an expectation to have 'the conversation' coming from Alex. Gloria came back and they gave their orders, losing the shield of plastic covered writing they had both been holding on to when she took them both away.

"So, how are you?" Alex ventured.

"Fine, I'm good. Polly and I made good progress on the new plan for expanding web sales today so we've nearly finished that now. We're really excited to show it to John. I hope it's what he was asking for."

"Great, that's really good to hear. Have you got another appointment?"

"No, we're waiting until we are happy with it until we book a date."

"OK. Well, I'm sure he won't be expecting it to be totally polished. Showing him a draft would probably be fine if you wanted some feedback."

"I don't want to waste his time revising draft copies though. He's already doing us a favour. I don't want to push it."

"The favour is for me, not you. You're a client as far as he's concerned, so use him as though you were paying for him."

Piper's face told Alex she was about to let her pride make a comment about the favour so Alex cut her off.

"But that's my opinion. You do it however you want to. It's your decision."

"It is. But thank you again for calling in that favour for us. He's been really great and Polly was really impressed with him when she presented our ideas."

"And how are you feeling about the court case?"

"Disappointed mostly. I really can't understand how he can say he's not guilty."

"That's understandable."

"He practically strutted into that court room when they called him front of the court. What a bastard…"

"There's probably a lot of bravado at this point. He'll change when the evidence gets discussed."

"I hope so. I don't know whether I feel worse because he is so smug and unaffected by it all while I'm seething about it."

"You can use that anger to nail your testimony though. If it gets that far." Alex was cautious about handing out any advice as she was all too aware of the fact that she'd never seen the inside of a court room like Piper had.

"But his Lawyer must feel like they can cut holes in that evidence. Why else would he have the balls to stand up and tell everyone in that court yesterday that he wasn't guilty?" Piper's voice started to get higher as her anxiety started to show through more.

"I don't know Pipes. I guess you're not going to find out until the evidence gets presented. Do you know what date that will be?"

"Not yet. Steve was talking to the Lawyers and they said it might be another 3 weeks until that starts."

Gloria arrived with their meals and broke the conversation up for a couple of minutes while she sprinkled pepper and shimmied parmesan in all the required places before wishing them well and leaving them. They tucked into their food for a while, making small talk about the quality of the food and why Alex suggested it.

"How long will you be gone for?" Piper put her fork onto her plate and sat back to wipe her mouth as she finished her food.

"A while. I want to set some firm foundations for these new contracts and make sure Bill has confidence with what we need to deliver as a bigger team."

"Is the job really that big?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you need to go? Or could Nicky go maybe?"

"You'd trust Nicky to go and meet the suits?!" Alex chuckled. "I need to go for the contracts…..and I need to go for me." She added finally.

Piper nodded in acceptance.

"It's been pretty intense lately hasn't it?"

"That's an understatement. It's not that I'm bailing on you Piper….it's just….I need a break to think about things and I want to come back with my shit together."

"Is thinking about us part of that shit?" Piper asked as she turned her tumbler on the coaster slowly.

"Of course it is. Isn't it for you?" Alex leaned forward onto the table with her palms.

"Yeah, it is. I guess, it's just different for me though isn't it?"

"How do you mean?"

"I feel like all of the focus has been on me and that hasn't been fair on you."

"With good reason though."

Gloria came back with her mega watt smile and asked them if they'd finished. Alex returned her smile again and gushed about how delicious the food had been, helping her to gather the plates together.

"Do you want dessert? I think they do a cheesecake…" Alex asked when Gloria was gone.

"How long Alex? How long do you need to think about things?"

"I can't put a date on it Piper, that's not fair. On either of us."

"Will you be back before the trial starts?"

"Well, since we don't even know what date that will be, also kind of hard to say right now I think." She shrugged. "Did you want me to be here for that?"

"I want you to be here if you want to be here with me."

"Well that's cryptic."

"So is saying you might be here and you might not. Will I be able to contact you while you're away or are you incommunicado? " Piper pressed for some boundaries.

"I'll have my phone, but calls will cost a fortune. Are you set up on Skype or FaceTime?"

"Neither, but I'm sure Polly can help me do that. So I can contact you?"

"Of course you can." Alex chuckled. "Don't forget the time difference, but it will be good to hear from you."

"OK, good. That's good."

"OK….Was there anything else you want to talk about?" Alex opened the door for Piper to say something, seeing if there was anything she wanted to ask. Before Piper could speak, Gloria was back to see if they wanted to order anything else. Piper quickly confirmed they only wanted the bill now to give them some time to talk before Alex left.

"Yeah…these two women we've got working at PoPi while your refurb work is done….Do you know much about them?"

"Like what?" Alex was surprised by the change of topic as much as the question.

"Well, like their background? Did you know tattoo girl was a drug addict for instance?"

"Yes, I know that."

"And you didn't think to tell me?!"

"I did, think about telling you. But I don't think it's fair to air someone's dirty laundry before you've even met them. I wanted you to treat her like a normal person. That's important for someone in her position."

"And you wonder why we have trust issues?!"

Alex rolled her eyes and leaned back away from the table. "You're judging them right now."

"Yes, because I just found out there is a _drug addict_ in my store."

" _Recovering_ drug addict."

"Don't split hairs…. The other one, Brooke. ….She's a completely different challenge. She obviously thinks she's above working in a shop. Her customer service skills suck, I mean there are ZERO redeeming features in her personal skills there. What is her background?"

Alex knew if they were ever going to heal the scars of their past, they had to learn to be more honest with each other and she couldn't hold things back because she expected a bad reaction from Piper. She was about to leave New York for a while and they would both have time to reflect later, but for now, Alex decided to stop holding back and revert back to being the straight shooter that Piper was used to.

"She's just been released from prison Piper. She served 12 months for something related to political activism. Tricia was serving 6 months for petty theft, but it was extended to 8 when she got involved in an altercation with another inmate near her release date." Alex held Piper's eyes as she spoke, determined to give her the truth plainly and see how she reacted.

"They've been in PRISON?! Fucking Hell Alex!" Piper's eyes burned into the emerald orbs that were holding them on the opposite side of the table. "What the fuck are you _thinking_? Do you want your business to go down the tubes? Do you want _mine_ to?!" Piper was leaning over the table, glowering at the revelation Alex had just shared, but the brunette simply sat and listened, holding her eyes all the while. "These women don't know the first thing about working in a soap store or a logistics company. They don't know a thing about customer service either. There are a hundred better qualified people out there who you could have interviewed for those jobs. People who would be chomping at the bit to get an opportunity in a company like yours. People who've been to fucking College to study business, economics, logistics for God's sake. You can take your pick of them!" She threw her hands in the air, absolutely blown away by Alex choosing to take on people with no experience, probably no qualifications and certainly no customer service skills above College graduates. To top that, they were bloody criminals to boot.

"There are a ton of people out there desperate for work who have actual _qualifications_ in logistics. You could use that experience to give them a first step on the ladder. It's so hard to find work these days." Piper shook her head and took a breath.

Alex remained tight-lipped and clenched her jaw as Piper's stream of consciousness finally drew to a close and the blonde looked at her expectantly for a response. She took a drink of water from her glass as she paused for thought to consider what Piper had said. It wasn't anything she hadn't heard before from her middle glass ex-girlfriend about the poor, entitled, educated collegiate group that she herself had graduated alongside. It was also a point of discussion where they shared opposing views back then and would again tonight. The main difference being Piper's striking omission of the fact that she didn't seem to include herself in the group of criminals seeking re-introduction to the workforce following payment of their debt to society for their crimes. Alex gently put her glass back down and leaned towards the table before speaking in an even tone.

"Do you think for a second that I don't already know that? I know there are people out there with fancy certificates and letters after their name for some fancy logistics governing body. I know that because I'm _competing_ with those people every day for business. I know that because I'm pitching for contracts against companies who have fancy job titles attending the tender presentations, where they have a team of 10 suits schmoozing with their College stories. I see that when I'm waiting to walk in to deliver my own presentation where I am all 10 suits in one person with no College stories to compare."

Piper's tone softened. "Alex, I wasn't meaning that College grads are better qualified than anyone who didn't go to College. It wasn't aimed at you."

"Yes it was. It was aimed at me because that is exactly what you just said. You just forgot that I'm in that group too."

Piper rubbed her face as realisation dawned on her that Alex was right. "Sorry. I guess my middle class upbringing isn't as forgotten as I like to make out."

"Nope. It's right there and written all over your face." Alex raised her eyebrows for Piper to acknowledge it.

"OK. Foot in mouth disease aside. They're still criminals Alex. You should be able to do better than that."

"Really?" Alex sat back in her seat, shaking her head.

"Yes, really!"

"You do realise that you're in that group too don't you?"

"Yes, but I've made something of myself and am co-owner of my own store."

"Because your middle class background afforded you the opportunities of College, good credit and middle class friends with savings to help."

"You're making out like I haven't worked hard for this Alex and that's not fair."

"No. You're putting words in my mouth that aren't there. I didn't say you haven't worked hard for this. I'm saying you had people around you who could give you a chance when you were released. People who were working with you to make those plans while you were still inside. People who were looking out for you and giving you a reason to be positive about the future when you got out."

"Polly and I were already working together on this long before I ended up at Litchfield Alex. It wasn't her doing me a favour."

"Fine. My point is, what if you didn't have that? What if you didn't have friends and family who were willing and able to support you when you got out? Did all of those people you were inside with have the same rosy outlook?"

"No." Piper shrugged. "But there is no countering that there are better qualified logistics recruits out there who could progress your business."

" _Progress my business_? What is this a College debate club?" Alex laughed.

"I'm just saying -."

"You really ought to learn when to close those pretty pink lips Pipes." Alex smiled as she sensed Piper was coming around a bit now.

"Fine. But this isn't over."

"It never is with you." Alex smirked.

Piper fidgeted with her fingers in her lap for a moment as Alex watched her. "Alex…will you come back?"

The brunette threw her head back and laughed at the strange question. "I'm coming back Piper. It's a business trip. I'm not moving to Europe."

"When will you leave?"

She started to gather some cash from her purse in anticipation of the bill arriving. "Tomorrow. There's a flight tomorrow afternoon to Heathrow. I'm packing when I get in tonight. Another reason for staying sober." Alex smiled as she beckoned Gloria back over for the bill.

"Wow. That's quick."

"I've been putting it off since Friday. I need to go. Bill is already out there, so I need to make some introductions."

Gloria appeared with the bill and Alex switched to PR mode immediately thanking her for the great service and complimenting the food, with Piper murmuring agreement. Placing the bills in the wallet, Alex stood to leave.

"Come on, I'll drop you home."

They drove through the dark streets of New York and pulled up outside Piper's door in no time at all since she wasn't far from the restaurant. Alex left the engine running and turned to Piper.

"Got everything?"

"Yeah…Did you…want to come in for coffee maybe?"

"No, I'd better not. I've got to pack. Thanks though." Alex pushed her hands under her legs, at a loss for what to do with them right now.

"OK. I'd better let you go then…. Goodnight Alex." Piper smiled weakly and climbed out of the car before closing the door behind her and walking towards the house. As she fumbled for her key and fought the urge to turn around, she felt a lump growing in her throat and tears started to prick her eyes. The engine was still running in the background behind her and she wiped her eyes as she cursed the time it was taking her to find the keyhole.

"Need a little help there?" Piper hadn't heard the brunette getting out of the car and walking towards her. She turned and threw her arms around Alex's upper body, pulling her into a bone crushing hug. The relief at seeing the taller woman again and the need to feel the warmth of her body next to hers again before she was to leave for who knew how long was overwhelming. They stood quietly for a while, Alex lifting her arms to soothe her hands up and down Piper's back as much as she could while her limbs were still constricted by Piper's death grip.

"I'm glad you're OK." Alex kissed the top of her hair as Piper pressed the side of her face into the taller woman's shoulder. When they broke apart after a long time, there were tears in Piper's eyes and Alex brushed them away with her thumbs as they spilled over her eyes. "I'm coming back, I promise."


	74. Chapter 74

**A/N: Hey, finally a new chapter! Thanks for the reviews and PMs as always, great to hear from you and glad new readers are liking the story. Special thanks to reviewers who have mentioned their experiences of assault (counselling, victim or friend / partner experiences) and said I'm doing a good job to keep it real. That means a lot to hear that and it's important to me that I don't gloss over it with too much fluff. Thanks for sharing your journeys. Hope you like this one too. Have a great day :-)**

Piper hadn't slept well on Thursday night after watching Alex drive away. It was an unexpected feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach as she watched the back of her shiny black car round the corner and disappear from sight and it wouldn't leave her as she lay in bed that night. It was stupid really because Piper knew that whenever Alex used to leave her on business for Kubra that it would have been a justified feeling of dread back then. But she never remembered it feeling like this back then and now it was all above board and with good business people that she was meeting. Why the feeling of dread that she couldn't shake? She was frustrated with herself and relieved when it got closer to 6am and she could justify getting up and ready for a run with Pete.

Even after a couple of days, she was starting to feel better from the exercise. Her ribs were a little sore when she pushed things a bit, but Piper figured that wasn't a bad thing and her lungs were relishing being more fully utilised as she breathed heavily on their final lap. Pete could sense that Piper was going a bit faster than their last couple of outings and he stepped up a gear to pull in front of her to push her a little more as they got through the first third of the circuit.

"You think you're ready for this newbie?" Pete grinned as Piper caught him.

"Newbie?! We'll see who is green in a couple of weeks when my ribs stop complaining."

"So, you still want me to go easy on you for a couple of weeks then hey? Already getting your excuses in before I cross the line in front of you. I get it…." He stepped up the pace again to pull in front slightly.

"Not at all. I'm saying, I'm holding back on YOU while I recover. Then you'll be watching my ass as I'm in front all the way."

Pete laughed and sprinted to the finish tree at full throttle, leaving Piper struggling to find a higher gear in his wake. They doubled over to catch breath for a minute before walking out the cool down and stretching.

"How are you liking the gym then?"

"It's good. It's years since I've been in one. I don't really like the aerobic exercise in a sweaty box, but the weights machines and someone to push you in a programme is nice I think."

"Great. Don't do too much though hey? You still need to give your body a chance to recover remember."

"Yes boss."

XXXXX

Piper was home, showered and changed by 9am and made some breakfast before heading over to see Julie at her 10am appointment.

"So, Piper…..you were in court earlier this week right?"

"Yeah. He entered a not guilty plea." Piper sighed as she thought about how absurd it still felt.

"That surprised you?"

"Everyone keeps saying there's too much evidence against him, but if that were true, surely his Lawyer would have advised him to plead guilty and get a lighter sentence? Why take the risk by lying?"

"They will have a game plan I'm sure. How've you been since that then?"

"Not great. I really don't want to go through the whole court thing again. I didn't handle it well the first time and that ended up with pretty much the worst possible outcome for me." Piper blew over the top of her hot coffee. "I can't help but worry that the same will happen next time."

"Only you're not on trial here, remember that won't you?"

"That's what Alex said."

"Well, she's right."

"That's normally the case with her, yes." Piper said the words without deliberate sarcasm or bitterness, but her features tightened as she spoke.

Julie chuckled. "You'd prefer her to be wrong?"

"Is it weird if I say yes?"

"No, I don't suppose it is." Julie smiled. "How are things with Alex?"

Piper blew out a long sigh from puffed out cheeks. "Complicated."

"Ah. That's a word you use a lot to describe your relationship I seem to remember."

"I sort of tried to break up with her and she wouldn't hear it. Then she broke up with me in a letter a few days later….and I wouldn't hear it – read it. Whatever."

"That does sound complicated! You say she broke up with you in a letter?"

"Yeah, after she came to see one of your colleagues for some advice."

"She came here?"

"To get some counselling for how to help me. They didn't tell her to write a letter. I think it was her way of telling me how she felt without me interrupting and having a strop."

"Communication is important for any relationship, but especially a sort of new one in the circumstances you are in."

"Circumstances? Like with the trial?"

"Yes, that and you dealing with a prior sexual assault that you hadn't discussed until recently. There's a lot for you both to take on board and it will also be difficult for Alex to know what to do to help you."

"She doesn't need to _do_ anything. That's what I have these meetings for. I don't want her to become an expert in…..assault."

"Is that why you wanted to break up?"

"No…..Not really. There's just….a lot happening at the moment…..With the trial, the counselling, seeing my Lawyer, trying to keep up my end of running a business…I wasn't being a very good girlfriend I guess."

Julie nodded and Piper saw her pen moving over the page of her notebook while she took a drink of her coffee.

"Did you say Alex didn't accept you trying to break up with her?" Piper nodded. "So, did she agree that you weren't being a good girlfriend, as you put it?"

"No, she didn't say anything like that. It's just how I felt. I was lashing out at her all the time, then apologising for it and I…..I don't know. I guess I was feeling crappy enough about everything without feeling like a crappy girlfriend too." Piper shrugged, sensing now that the reasoning sounded more than a little lame when she said it out loud to an impartial observer.

"But then Alex changed her mind? When she broke up with you?"

"Changed her mind?"

"She decided that you were a crappy girlfriend? Is that what happened?"

"No. The opposite actually." Piper shook her head as she put her empty mug down on the table.

"She said that _she_ had been the crappy girlfriend by not giving me enough space and that's what she said in the letter – that she was going away to give us both some space."

"Oh, wow. OK…..So where do things stand now?"

"In the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Literally."

"Is that a metaphor?"

"Yes, but she's also flying to Europe this morning, so she will probably be right over the top of it as we speak."

"Ah, OK. Makes sense now." Julie smiled before asking another question. "So you're officially separated now?"

"Yeah, I guess." Julie saw Piper turn to look out of the window and left the silence between them while the blonde mulled her thoughts.

"I thought it was what I wanted…..Not that I gave it a lot of thought to be honest. It was more a reaction to being overwhelmed by everything I suppose. But then….when Alex finished things with me….well, it was a reality check. I realised that I didn't want to be apart from her. We argue, sort of. Mostly she lets me blow off steam and clenches her fists not to react I think, but the thought of her being so far away from me right now makes me a feel a bit sick. I can't bear the thought of losing her."

"Piper….." Julie set her notes aside and leaned forward a little in her chair before speaking again. "Who are you leaning on to support you through this?"

"The trial? Well, my friend Steve is involved in the case, so he'll be around and we'll support each other I guess. My best friend Polly is there too, we talk every day at work. My parents if I get really desperate…why?"

"It's important to have a support network around you that is more than one person. That way you have different sets of ears listening to you and they will have different perspectives to offer. That's good."

Piper sat back in her seat, feeling like she said the right answer in the test and could progress to the next level of the course.

"Do those people know that you're the victim of two separate instances of sexual assault?"

"It's _one_ instance. The other was never reported, so it doesn't exist as far as they are concerned." Piper clenched and unclenched her jaw at the tallying up of the times she had let herself become a victim.

"So they are all aware of the incident connected to the forthcoming trial? Your parents know that you were sexually assaulted?"

"They don't need to know the gory details. They know it was an attempted rape, isn't that enough?!" Piper stood and ran her hands through her hair, needing to gain some personal space all of a sudden.

"I'm not telling you what to tell them Piper. That's entirely up to you. What I'm asking is…..Well, is there _anyone_ who knows the full story about what you're dealing with here that is supporting you outside of our one hour per week sessions?"

Piper sighed heavily and slumped back into her chair. "Alex. Alex knows."

"About everything?"

"Yes, she's the only person I've told. She's the only one I want to tell at the moment. It already feels like details about my life that I didn't ever want shared are up for discussion in a court room now. I might as well create a distribution list!"

"OK….well at least there's someone you can talk to. You're still talking I assume?"

"Yes, she said I could call her while she's away."

"Good, that will help you I think." She made some more notes. "Can I ask why? If you can't stand the thought of losing her, why did you want to break up with Alex?"

"I don't think I did."

"So, you didn't want to break up?" Julie was clearly confused.

"I see that look a lot." Piper sighed.

"Does Alex know you didn't want to break up?"

"Yeah, I mean, I went over there and as good as broke her door down when she sent me that letter. I told her I needed her to be normal with me. I made it pretty obvious….."

"So you said you didn't want to break up?"

Piper looked past Julie as she tried to recall each part of the conversation they had at Alex's apartment, then what they talked about at the restaurant. After a few minutes, her eyes moved to the ceiling and she ran her hand over her face.

"That would be a 'no' to actually telling her that tiny piece of quite important information."

XXXXX

After her appointment with Julie, she went grocery shopping and decided to do a thorough clean of the house while she had the spare time. Her conversations with Alex in the restaurant had been playing on her mind all day and she winced at how she had tried to distance herself from being in prison by telling Alex she could do better with her choice of employees. She might not like Brooke's attitude, but there were far worse attitudes to be found in the people she had met in prison. It had been a shock that Alex would employ people with a criminal record, but Piper now couldn't understand why she had been shocked. Alex was used to working with criminals and ex-criminals when she worked for Kubra and she didn't judge people based on their past. She gave people a fair crack of the whip until they did something that didn't meet her expectations. She didn't have the fancy college degrees and certificates of good grades, but she was one of the smartest and astute people Piper had ever met. She wasn't impressed by scrolls of paper and mortar board photos with the family, choosing friends and colleagues on 'feelings' and first impressions really. Piper was always a bit jealous of her ability to see past all of the façade and pretence in people and get to their root to see what made them tick. It's what made her a good recruiter for Kubra and made the hard work she did seem effortless at times because it was all happening inside her head – decisions being made on her next move, picking people out, reading reactions and manipulating them to think they really wanted to do something that would benefit her.

She really wished she hadn't become so damned paranoid and insular since her time in Litchfield. It had taught her to not trust anyone and even when people appeared to be genuine, they could fuck you over in a heartbeat if it gained them something. She hadn't realised how naïve she was before Litchfield. Blindly trusting a drug importer and following her all over the world, mixing in circles she wasn't accustomed to without question because Alex would look out for her. She'd had all of the adventure without any real appreciation or understanding of the risks at the time. It was only her love for Alex being in constant conflict and competition for Alex's love for her job that pulled her away from it. Not the fact that she could be in danger, because she never felt it. Alex had protected her from feeling that at every turn. Going to prison had been a slap in the face of epic proportions and the reality of what she had done being illegal was suddenly real. Her naivety had shone like a beacon to the inmates of Litchfield when there wasn't Alex around to conceal her and it had been exploited many times during her incarceration. From blackmailing her to hand over personal items such as the books Cal and Polly sent her, to threatening her for commissary items, she had given in to all of it so easily in her first few weeks there. So scared that someone would knock out her fresh, white teeth that she didn't put up much of a fight. When there was nothing left, they moved on to other newbies and she was left to reflect on the lessons learned for the most part.

So determined not to be a victim when she was released, she closed herself down tight to the attention of others and took tight control over interactions with anyone new. She didn't make new friendships easily and used her well versed WASP pretence and smile to nod appreciatively and superficially connect with people for a limited time. She had forgotten that Alex used to look after her, look out for her and treat her so well. Instead, automatically reverting to distrust when things didn't go her way. It really didn't make things any easier when her number one reaction was lashing out, then think later. Much later, like days later sometimes. Having these sessions with Julie was definitely helping as it was making her talk about things she might be uncomfortable with and Julie was so calm and sensible that she always felt better after those meetings.

Dressed in old grey track pants and a polo shirt, she plugged the iPod that Alex left her into some speakers and played her old playlists, singing along as she moved methodically through the house. By 8pm, she had scrubbed the fridge clean, defrosted the freezer with a hairdryer and even knuckled down to clean the oven out so it was sparkling. The cushion covers and throws from the sofa were washed and dried while she dusted everything down and mopped the floors. Feeling thoroughly accomplished, she started running a bath and checked her cell while she waited for the bubbles to rise. There was a text from Polly to say they were going to finish the business plan tomorrow come Hell or high water and one from Alex.

Piper was determined not to become a whiny bitch while Alex was away by texting her all of the time. So when she got a message from the brunette to say she had arrived safely and was heading to her hotel to rest, she sent a simple reply.

'Hey, thanks for letting me know you got there OK. Hope you get time to enjoy London. X'

She responded quickly to Polly as well before settling down for a soak in the bath, minus a glass of wine. She was determined to cut back a bit while Alex was away to prove that she didn't need the crutch.

XXXXX

They worked all day Saturday and Sunday on the final tweaks to the plans and agreed to set up a meeting with John ASAP for some feedback on it. Yet, another thing Alex was right about when she thought about it. She had mentioned it to Polly in passing and her friend thought it was a good idea to find out if they were even including the right sort of information before worrying about what paper to print it on.

Alex sent a text on Sunday afternoon as they were packing up the store.

'Hey, have you got Skype sorted out yet? I was going to call you later if that's OK? X'

"Shit! Do you know how Skype works Pol?" Piper mumbled as she pulled her iPad out of her bag.

"Of course. I'm not an 80 year old pensioner."

Piper raised her eyebrow.

"But I do have a lot of respect for the elderly and I'm always happy to help the old dears out. What do you want help with dear?"

"Well, how do I get it?"

"Jesus. We really are on internet 101 here….It's an app, you can download it for free….here." Polly swiped the screen and found it, clicking the download button.

"Who are you Skyping anyway?"

"Skyping?"

"Yes. Video calling with this app."

"It's _video_?"

"Yes, or just a call. The whole point is the video though, so you can actually see who you're talking to."

"Oh….Alex. She's in London and wants to call me tonight."

"Why do I feel like I'm equipping you to do something dirty?" Polly frowned as she opened the app up now.

"Polly! We're just talking. We're not even together, so you're barking up the wrong tree."

"This time maybe. Here….you need to create a username now so people can find you." Polly turned the screen back to Piper for her to fill in her details. Piper tapped the screen a few times before handing it back to Polly.

"Piper Chapman. Well, you're original, I'll give you that." She finished the signing up process and then added herself as a contact before passing it back to the blonde.

"Pollyliscious. Really?" Piper rolled her eyes.

"What's Alex's username?"

"No idea."

"Let's search for her then…." Polly typed in Alex's name and shared the screen. Piper grinned and pointed at a Username 'VauseisBoss' next to a picture of bright red lips pouting into a kiss. "That one. Definitely."

"Should have known. Shall I send her a contact request or do you want to check it's her first?"

"Let me text her. I'm pretty certain, but I don't trust the internet. Who knows who might be hiding behind that photo?"

Piper tapped out a quick text.

'Are you VauseisBoss?'

'Depends who is asking. Do you want to be my friend? ;-)'

'I want to be friends with the owner of those lush red lips. If that's you, your luck is in ;-)'

'Mine. All mine. Surprised you had to ask ;-)'

"Can you save the sexting for later? I've got a home to go to." Polly cut in as Piper continued to grin at her screen.

"Sorry. OK, it's her. Can you add her as a contact for me and I'll work the rest out?"

"Done. Don't let this new power of Skype knowledge go to your head will you?"

"Thanks. See you in the morning!" Piper was already scurrying out of the back door to the subway as Polly turned to lock up.

Conscious of the 6 hour time difference, she didn't want to leave it too late to speak to Alex in case she was tired from her trip. Sending her a quick text to say she had Skype and was OK to talk any time tonight, Piper set to making some dinner from the fresh food she picked up. She was washing the dishes when her phone flashed with a reply.

'Hey, Piper Chapman. I've accepted your friend invitation. Want to get to know each other now? ;-)'

Piper dried her hands quickly and moved to sit at the dining table where her iPad was charging. It was already 100% on the battery, but Piper was expecting the video on Skype to drain it quickly. Her heart started to beat faster and she checked her face in the mirror, applying some lip gloss quickly and straightening her hair out a bit before settling in front of the screen and replying to Alex's text.

'You have my attention Ms Vause. I'm ready when you are.' Piper stared at the blank screen, waiting for it to jump into life.

'Apparently I don't. Can you get online? Open up Skype and set your status to online and then I can call you.'

Piper fiddled with the app for a moment and did as Alex said. Seconds later the screen showed an incoming call from VauseisBoss and she clicked to answer.

"Hello?" Piper spoke. "Helloooooo!" Louder when there was no answer from Alex. A text came through.

'Is your sound switched on? Try turning it up '

After a turning the sound from mute, Piper finally heard her.

"Hello?"

"Ah, there you are!" Alex replied, laughing.

"I can't see you. Can you see me?"

"You want to video call?"

"I thought that was the whole point of Skype? Or we could just use our cell phones and do this the old fashioned way." Piper was perplexed by all the hassle for a simple phone call.

"Hang on…..Can you see me now?" Alex moved the screen and settled it at head and shoulder height. Piper could see some lamps lit behind Alex's head and the top of some plush white pillows on her bed.

"Yes! I can see you now. You're in your hotel room right?" Piper moved her head trying to see more.

"Yeah. This is a little one-sided without your camera being switched on. I feel like I'm in a poor quality peep show."

"Oh! You can't see me?" Piper waved at the screen.

"No. You need to click the video icon at the bottom and it will switch your camera on."

Piper clicked it and stared at the screen.

"There she is! Maybe stand up your iPad though Pipes as I can see right up your nose if you keep leaning over it. It's not your most flattering angle, I'll be honest."

Piper flipped her screen cover around to stand it up. "God, this is stressful! I don't know why this app is so popular when it's so complicated to use." She ran her hand through her hair again to straighten it up.

Alex smiled back. "Hi."

"Hi." Piper breathed out. "I like your room."

"Want a tour? I'll show you around, gimme a sec…." The camera moved as she picked up her laptop and took it around the room. "So this is the desk I was just sitting at, very boring. But there's a little kitchen area here with a half decent coffee machine at least, you see that?" Alex moved the camera closer.

"Nice! You've got a fridge too?"

"Yeah. Then there's my bed. It's actually pretty comfy to sleep in….wardrobe full of clothes over here…..bathroom with a deep sided copper bath, cool hey?"

"Wow, that's gorgeous! Why aren't you making the most of that right now?"

"A bit forward for someone who only sent me a friend request a couple of hours ago aren't you?"

"Good point. You should try it out though."

"I definitely will. Maybe tomorrow…..but the best thing….is this view. Can you see that?" Alex tried to move the camera slowly so Piper could see the London skyline lit up at night.

"Oh my God, that's gorgeous Al! Was that London Bridge on the left?"

"Yeah, awesome isn't it?"

"Aw, I love London. I really want to go back one day."

Alex sat on the bed now with the laptop next to her as she took her shoes off and laid back.

"I know. It's such a cool place. Anyway, how's things with you?"

"Good. They're good. We finished the business plan today and we're going to make an appointment to see John ASAP to get his feedback."

"Awesome. That's great Pipes!" Alex sat the laptop on the table next to the pillow so she was comfortable.

"You were right. About getting feedback."

"It was only a suggestion you know."

"I know that now. I need to learn to listen to you more and stop being such an ass. I know."

Alex laughed at the admission. "It might be hard-wired into your DNA."

"Well I'm going to make an effort to unwire it a bit, I promise. I will try and be a little less self-absorbed while I'm at it."

"OK, I look forward to that." Alex smiled. She could see that Piper was being earnest and it wasn't easy to admit she was wrong or that she could be a narcissist of champion proportions at times.

"While I'm on a roll, I'm also sorry for what I said about you employing ex-cons."

"Wow, you really are on a roll."

"Pretending I'm any different because I'm educated and from money was pretty stupid. I was surrounded by people like Tricia and Brooke while I was at Litchfield and I have no idea if all of those girls will find jobs when they get out. Not many employers would take them on and I feel pretty low for saying you shouldn't."

"You've seen it from both sides as well, which gives you a unique perspective I think. I'm glad you thought about it though. I was a bit shocked when you weren't more sympathetic…Are you gonna try a bit harder with Tricia and Brooke?" Alex ventured.

"I don't know what you want me to do?"

"Whatever you think will help them to survive life outside of prison. Whatever you think you can do to help them in the workplace. They're only with you for another week hopefully. I need to check progress on the new partitions with Nicky, but 5 more days Pipes. That's all."

"It's fine. Really, it is. I'll think on it."

"Thank you. I appreciate it." Alex snuggled down into her pillow more.

"What time is it there?"

"Um….just after 2am now."

"Wow, I'd better let you get some sleep. Are you in meetings in the morning?"

"Yeah, Bill and I are doing a presentation in the morning. Not until 11 though, so I've got chance to sleep in a bit. It's in the hotel conference downstairs, so all fine to get there. I'll try and speak later in the week if you want? I think we're going out for dinner with clients a bit this week, so I might be hit and miss. Text me if there's anything urgent though, OK?"

"I will. Be careful Alex."

"Logistics is a dangerous business right?" Alex winked before yawning. "Night Pipes."

"Bye Alex."

XXXXX


	75. Chapter 75

**A/N: I've worked like a trooper to get a bit more written as I won't have time in a couple of weeks. Way earlier than expected, your next super long chapter.**

Piper hit the gym early on Monday morning and Jess waved her over to the front desk as she swiped her membership card to enter.

"Morning Jess, how was your weekend?"

"Hey. Crazy busy with helping my Mom and Dad move house, but it was fun. I prefer my workouts without super king sized beds and stairs to be honest." She shook her head and rubbed her arms at the memory.

"Sounds gruelling!" Piper smiled.

"So, anyway. Want to see your workout plan?"

"Does it involve stairs and lifting heavy furniture?"

"You'll be relieved to know that it does not." Jess grinned. "Go put your stuff in a locker and meet me by the stretching mat and I'll run through it with you."

They worked through the plan with Jess correcting her posture at each routine and Piper was happy with the focus on stretching, muscle tone and core stability. She had her cardio covered with the running and preferred her lungs to be exercised in fresh air and parks, rather than treadmills anyway. Jess mentioned yoga classes running most evenings that would be covered with her trial membership card, so she noted the times on her way out and thought about giving them a go as well. It was all free, so why the Hell not!

XXXXX

She went home to shower and change for work, finding time to make a green smoothy to take on the subway to complete the super healthy morning she was having. Piper was looking through the stock taking figures Tricia had completed last week when Polly came in.

"Morning. How long have you been here?"

"Only about 10 minutes. How was your weekend?"

"Well, apart from the two whole days I spent in here with you talking about font size and diagram to word ratios…..It was good. We went to see that new movie with Hugh Grant last night at the cinema. Date night!" Polly grinned.

"That new Hugh Grant movie that will be exactly like the old Hugh Grant movie you mean?"

"Yeah, I knew I'd like it." Polly took her coat off and looked at what Piper was reading on the notepad.

"We've got loads of stock in there you know. Should we reduce the manufacturing figures a bit?"

"Yeah, but it's winter stock. We need the new scents for spring and summer, especially it we're trying internet sales with this new plan."

"I don't know. Something Tricia said last week has been buzzing in the back of my mind?"

"Yeah?"

"She said if people can't see it, they can't buy it."

"Right. Well, we already know that…..What are you saying?"

"I'm saying….maybe she has some ideas about how we could sell the excess stock."

Polly stared at her like she was sprouting another head from her shoulders and Piper stopped her from speaking by holding her hand up.

"She might have an idea that we haven't thought of I mean."

"What, with her vast prior experience of the artisanal bath product sector you mean?"

"No. She's got a good head for figures. Have you looked over this stock take sheet? She's not just put numbers of bars of soap in each category on here. There are percentages against everything to show what we have most of."

"I'm no Einstein, but I can see when one number is higher than another. It's not rocket science. What are you getting at?" Polly crossed her arms, but her curiosity was piqued.

"I'm saying….let's see what she can do. Let's give her a chance to use her brain a bit instead of just telling her to sit and count soap all day."

Polly regarded her curiously, eyes slightly narrowed. "Did you bang your head this morning? What happened to watching her like a hawk because she's a junkie?"

"Call it a Eureka moment, whatever." Piper waved her hands dismissively. "I just want to give her a chance to stretch herself a little bit OK? It might bite me in the ass, but what's the worst that can happen, right?" Piper shrugged and walked to the store room with the stock details. She acted nonchalant, but inside she was warring over relinquishing a bit of control.

XXXXX

Lorna called into the store at 3pm on Weds to pick Tricia up for her group meeting and was met by Brooke standing by the door holding a basket out for her.

"Hi Brooke. How are you doing?"

"Hi. I'm great thanks. How are you today?"

"Good, I'm good thank you. What have you been doing this week then?" Lorna took the basket off Brooke as she stood holding it out for her to take as they spoke.

"Well, I had to listen to Piper talk about customer service for a while on Monday, which was lame. But she said if I listened to her and tried some of the things she was telling me about, she'd let me off mopping duty and promote me to sales." Brooke smiled, happy with the change in role.

"Oh, that's great! How are you liking that?"

"Well, if I focus on the fact that I'm not technically taking any money off people and just think about introducing them to these amazing scents, I kind of like it. A couple of girls came in this morning and they pretty much filled their basket with everything I was showing them."

"That's fantastic Brooke! What do you recommend for me then?" Lorna smiled, curious to see Brooke's repertoire in action and let herself be led around the store by Brooke. She was showing her how to properly smell how the scents would smell on your body when testing samples, how to make sure you didn't mix them up on your skin and which products complimented each other. After a few minutes, Lorna was conscious of the time for their appointment and had several items in her basket to buy before they set off.

"Is Tricia around?" She put her basket on the counter.

"Sure, I'll go and get her from the back office. If you'd just like to wait a moment, I'll have someone ring those items through for you and pack them into a nice bag. I won't be a minute."

A few seconds later Piper appeared with Tricia who went to get her coat.

"Hey Lorna, nice to see you!" Piper smiled. "Find a few things you liked hey?" Piper took the products out of the basket and started ringing them through the till. "Obviously there's going to be a friends and family discount on those. Are any of them gifts? We can wrap them up for you?" Piper asked. Lorna felt like she'd walked into a different store to last Weds, but was delighted by the apparent change in Brooke and Piper seemed a lot more calm about them being there this time.

"Oh thanks! All for me this time, but my sister's birthday is coming up, so I'll pick something up next week if that's OK? Maybe Brooke can help me pick something out?" Lorna looked at the short brunette beaming next to her.

"Of course! Tell me what sort of things she likes next week and I'll help you pick something. We've got some gorgeous gift boxes too haven't we Piper?" Brooke's enthusiasm was bubbling over and she tried to check herself. "But, you know. Whatever, I'm sure we can find you something."

"Absolutely we can. I'll pop a couple of samples in there for the new summer range we're developing too. Polly's at the manufacturers right now talking about ideas we've got, so let me know what you think of these as we haven't started making them in bulk yet and there's time for tweaks."

"Gee, thanks Piper. These are lovely! I'll do that and let you know next week."

Piper bagged up the items for Lorna and took the money as Tricia appeared all ready to go.

"Great, see you tomorrow Tricia and I'll see you Weds Lorna, bye!" Piper waved them out of the store and turned to Brooke.

"You did great today. Having you talk customers through the products has helped make a few more sales I think. They seem to be buying more when you're showing them the complimentary lines, so are you happy to carry on doing that for the rest of this week?"

"Yeah! I really like it, finding out what sort of scents people like and then trying to work out what else might go with that. It's like every person has their own style and I have to work it out while they are in here."

"OK, good. Looks like you've got another case to solve." Piper smiled and nodded towards the door where a man with two teenage girls just walked in.

XXXXX

On Thursday afternoon, Piper was putting some samples together on the stockroom floor with Polly when a text came through from Alex.

'Hey Pipes, finally have an early night to look forward to! Are you free later for a Skype session? X'

'Hi stranger! Yes, I have some availability for you later. Is 8pm too late? X'

'8pm your time is fine. I'm not exactly the early to bed and early to rise type anyway ;-)'

"Is that VauseisBoss?"

"Yes it is." Piper tried to stop the smile from spreading across her face and didn't meet Polly's eyes.

"Of course it is. You've got that goofy look on your face. How is London?"

"Fine I think. She hadn't been there long when we spoke at the weekend, so I guess I'll find out later."

"You haven't spoken since Sunday?"

"Nope. I'm being very good and giving her space, like she asked."

"OK…."

"I'm leaving it up to her to see if she wants to talk."

"Playing hard to get then?"

"No!"

"Acting indifferent, but jumping to check your phone every time it beeps? That is playing hard to get."

"It is not! It's being sensitive to her request for space. Now, do we have costs for each of these we can tac to the back of them as a reminder when we talk to John next week?"

"Good plan Batman. How many samples do we want to distribute for feedback? We need to know what the production costs would be for that sample size I think so we get enough feedback but keep costs low."

"I don't know….is 10 of each enough if we hand them as a set of soap and body lotion?"

"Maybe more. 10 is OK for friends and family, but having some in the store for regulars and add ons for new customers is nice. 30 of each?"

"It's expensive and it adds to our investment plan…..do you think-."

"It will be fine. We're planning to expand anyway, that's the whole point right?" Polly waved her hand dismissively before getting up and stretching her back.

XXXXX

Piper went to her first yoga class after work on Wednesday before rushing home to shower and change ready for Alex's call. She was eating stir fry when Alex texted to see if she was ready before calling on Skype.

"Hey! You got it working first time! I'm impressed!" Alex's face popped onto the screen laughing.

"Yes, I don't ALWAYS need telling twice you know." Piper grinned at seeing Alex's face, her stomach flipping the moment the brunette appeared with a wide smile.

"I guess there's a first time for everything hey?" Alex winked. "Are you just having dinner now?" She peered at Piper forking crunchy vegetables into her mouth on the screen.

"Mmmm." She quickly swallowed a mouthful before replying again. "I went to a yoga class after work, so I'm only getting chance now. Home made too you know." Piper raised the plate to the camera to show the proof.

"I'm impressed again. By the yoga AND the healthy diet. So where's the yoga idea come from?" Alex poured a glass of wine from a bottle next to the screen.

"I've joined Pete's gym on a free trial and I get a personal trainer to make me a training plan as part of the deal. So, they gave me this great woman called Jess who made me a plan and she was telling me I should try these classes. Everything is free while I'm on this trial, so I'm trying stuff."

Alex could see how enthusiastic Piper was about the classes and the gym and she listened as Piper told her about the training plan this Trainer called Jess had developed. While she was talking, Alex noticed the dark circles around her eyes had reduced a bit and her face was a little less drawn than it had been recently, so she was happy to know she must be taking care of herself.

"So you're doing all of this AND you're running again?"

"Yeah, not all on the same day. I'm alternating it. A day of cardio and a day of gym stuff. The yoga will fit in with whatever as it's good for me and I found it quite relaxing earlier."

"Wow, you're gonna be ripped!" Alex raised her eyebrow suggestively.

"Yes I am and I'm not gonna lie….I will totally flaunt that at every opportunity. I'll be wearing vest tops and flexing my biceps as I lean over to get the salt shaker….wearing short t-shirts that ride up when I'm in the grocery store ONLY reaching up for things on the top shelf. Yep, I've got big plans for my ripped self."

Alex grinned at Piper's banter. "Well it would be a waste not to when you're going to all this effort after all."

"I know. It's gonna practically be a crime not to right?" Piper chewed some more of her food. "So how are the meetings going?"

"It's been good actually. Bill is starting to get the hang of it and relax a bit. I think he's been a bit nervous because he hasn't done anything like this before. Now he realises that people are listening to his experience, his confidence is growing every day. I don't think the schmoozing is ever gonna be his thing though. He's such a quiet guy that he doesn't like the evening dinners and after work drinks parts. If it's all about the business or just me and him, he's fine. But give him a dinner table and small talk and he's looking for the ground to swallow him up." Alex chuckled and drank some of her wine.

"Well he's with a pro out there right? Nobody can schmooze like you in a restaurant or bar." Piper rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Hey, I saw that! Don't pretend you didn't enjoy it."

"I didn't like you schmoozing with anyone but me." Piper said honestly and shrugged.

"Didn't I just know it! If looks could kill, I'd have been schmoozing to a room full of charcoal with you around to ward everyone off." Alex grinned as she remembered how jealous Piper used to get when she had to work on a night out.

"Well it would serve them right for undressing you with their eyes."

"Oh I see, the punishment would fit the crime of sight then would it?" Alex chuckled.

"Totally. It would be commensurate."

"Well you didn't get that from reading Roald Dahl books."

"No, definitely not."

"Have you finished your dinner yet?"

"Almost. You talk for a minute and I'll clean the plate."

"OK. Well, I spoke to Nicky earlier tonight and I might have some bad news actually."

"What?" Piper crunched another mouth full of beansprouts.

"The construction workers aren't going to have the new office ready for Monday, so there are no desks for Brooke and Tricia to work at yet…..so…."

"You're going to ask if they can stay at PoPi for another week?"

"It's an option I'm considering….depending on your reaction…..but they can always help Taystee and Poussey out in the warehouse for a bit if that is definitely not going to be an option."

"It's OK. They can stay at PoPi until you're ready."

"Really?"

"Yeah. They're free help, right?" Piper shrugged. Alex moved closer to the screen and narrowed her eyes.

"Have you murdered them and this gives you another week to hide your crime?"

"Maybe. You'll have to come home to find out."

"Or I could ask Lorna to spot check you…."

"Who says she isn't part of the cover up operation?" Piper put her plate to the side and wiped her mouth.

"You involved Lorna in a double murder plot?!"

"I can neither confirm nor deny that accusation."

"OK, in that case…..I'll go for Professor Piper…in the Library – obviously….with the lead pipe."

"I want a Lawyer."

They both broke into laughter and Piper wished Alex was in the same room instead of thousands of miles away in a different time zone.

"When are you coming back Al?"

Alex smiled softly at Piper's serious question. "Another couple of weeks."

"Have you had a chance to think about things yet?" Piper tried really hard to keep from sounding needy and she kicked herself for letting the question pop out unchecked.

"Yeah, a little. It's been long days and nights this week to get Bill up to speed you know. I will though. It will be a bit calmer next week I think."

"OK. I know you want space, so I'm not pressuring you. I just wondered is all."

"Thanks."

"S'okay." The mood was suddenly heavier now that was hanging in the air and Piper regretted bringing it up. She didn't want Alex to think she was being hounded to come home, but at the same time Piper was missing her being around.

"Thanks for helping out with Tricia and Brooke. I know you didn't want to do it, so I do appreciate you letting them stay until we are finished with the renovation work."

"It's fine, really. I'd better let you go. It's pretty late for you now."

"Hey Pipes?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll be sure to make my salt shaker particularly difficult to reach when I get back." Alex winked and smiled when Piper blushed a little before rolling her eyes.

"Goodnight Alex."

"Night Pipes."

XXXXX

Piper told Polly the news about agreeing for Tricia and Brooke to stay until the NY Logistics renovations were complete and she was of the same opinion as Piper, it was free help. The girls seemed happy to hear they would be staying a little longer as well and they agreed to pay them for some overtime to work the weekend to help get the samples ready. Piper insisted that Polly take the weekend off as she and Pete were decorating, so the three of them could manage without her and get the samples ready.

Piper had another appointment with Julie on Friday afternoon where she talked more about the night Darryl assaulted her. Julie said that much of what Piper felt about that night was tied up in what happened in prison and she shouldn't always try to compartmentalise the two incidents in her mind, but accept that they were linked and part of her history now. It was a change in thought process that was made more difficult by one incident being known by her friends and family and the other not. She wasn't ready to share any more with anyone other than Alex just yet though, so that would have to remain parked for the moment. The trial was her main worry and there wasn't much Julie could do to help calm her nerves about that as it wasn't where her expertise resided.

XXXXX

On Saturday, Piper had Tricia use her maths brain to work out costs for the sample packs, the most lucrative gift pack options to increase profits from them and how they could work in using some of the older stock to reduce the leftover boxes from last season.

Brooke on the other hand, worked on creating some mind map diagrams that they could use for suggestions on the new internet sales plan. It was basically a chart to show customers that picked a certain product what else they might like to try based on their choices. She had been so good at making the recommendations in store that Piper felt there was an opportunity to extend it for internet buyers too.

They continued the work into the next week and Piper went to see her Lawyer on Tuesday afternoon to hear the date for the trial to begin. It would be 2 weeks today and Piper didn't need to attend every hearing if she didn't want to, they would give her a date to appear on the stand when they knew she would be needed for sure. It was likely to be early on though as her testimony was key. They were words she was dreading. She had been really hoping they would rely on other evidence first and it wouldn't get that far. She left his office quickly and went straight home to change into her gym kit. Yoga wasn't going to suffice tonight and she needed something more physical to work out her aggression.

Jess was talking to a customer when Piper walked through to swipe in and she waved briefly before continuing her conversation. Piper waited by the counter and Jess sensed she wanted to talk so finished her conversation before coming over.

"Hey, you're keen? You're also late for yoga if that's what you're here for?" Jess checked her watch to make sure.

"Is there anything…..more brutal I could try?"

"Brutal? Whoah…like MMA or something you mean?"

"Is that punching and kicking people with protective gear?"

"Sort of. But there aren't any classes tonight. What's up?"

"I need to hit something."

Jess laughed. "OK, well my one-to-one just cancelled so we can use a small gym space if you want and I'll show you how to hit something without hurting yourself if that would help?"

"Massively. Thanks."

They walked to a small side room with mats on the floor and Piper dropped her things by the wall and tied her hair up into a high pony while Jess went to find some equipment. She came back a few minutes later with some small padded gloves and some pads for her own hands.

"Before we start this, we need to do some stretches OK? I know you want to beat the shit out of something right now and you'll get the chance, but let's stick to the rules and warm up first." Jess smiled as she led Piper through some simple stretch routines and got the blood pumping a little more before throwing her the gloves.

"Put these on and I'll help you fasten them. They shouldn't be too tight and make sure you don't keep your fists balled in them all the time. You need to relax between jabs OK or you'll make your fists hurt. You're aiming to hit with this part of your hand, anywhere else might see you dislocating a finger and it doesn't look pretty when that happens believe me." Jess moved to pick up the thick pads and put them on the palms of her hands, turning to face Piper and settling herself into a firm stance.

"OK, you're hitting this with your right fist" She waved her opposite pad in the air. "Then switch to this with your left. Keep alternating until you need a breather. I'll stop you if your technique sucks." Jess laughed before raising both hands. "Have at it."

Piper felt like she was ready for an hour of banging her fists against something but her arms soon tired from constantly alternating between the pads. Jess let her rest and get some water for a bit before starting up again, coaching her a little more this time to improve her stance and timing to get more impact from the shots.

The blonde dropped her arms again, muscles screaming from the repetitive motion that she wasn't used to and Jess pulled the pads off to get some water.

"Better?"

"Yeah, thanks. Guess I'm not quite as ready to take on Mike Tyson as I felt when I walked in here tonight eh?" Piper took the gloves off and stretched her fingers out a few times to try and stop them from shaking.

"It's OK. They do that when you first start." Jess nodded at her hands. "It's because your body is on edge and the adrenaline is pumping for the next jab. It stops after a few minutes, but you feel a bit strange for a while."

"Yeah, it feels weird. I can't stop it." She leaned over to get some water, and screwed the top off.

"You still feel like you have to punch that guy when you get out of here?"

"What guy?" Piper stopped drinking and wiped her mouth as she turned to Jess.

"There's ALWAYS a guy when a pretty woman comes in here wanting to punch something." Jess laughed as she took another long drink from her water bottle.

"A PRETTY woman?" Piper raised her eyebrow.

"ANY woman." Jess shook her head. "So, you didn't answer my question. Are you going to punch him or did I just do a public service and stop it?"

"I don't honestly think I could raise my hands to brush my teeth after that, so definitely no punching for me tonight." Piper wiped the sweat from her face with the towel from her bag.

"Glad I could be of service." Jess picked up the pads and gloves. "Are you in tomorrow morning or is it a running day?"

"Ummmm, in tomorrow. I ran this morning. 2k to be exact." Piper picked up her bag and followed Jess out as she locked up.

"Well done. What's that? Like Grade 7 Phys Ed standard then?" Jess grinned as she turned to put the kit away. "See you in the morning Piper."

"Whatever." Piper shook her head and headed for the door.

XXXXX

She was in the gym early on Wednesday morning and was half an hour into her session before she saw Jess wave while she was going through an induction with another client. Her arms were groaning from last night's exercise and she was really struggling with the tricep curls she was meant to be doing as part of this training programme, so she decided to cut them a little short in numbers to save herself the embarrassment of her arms shakily trying to lift the small weights and failing.

"Looks like someone skimped on the arm work this morning when I leave you unsupervised….Tut tut." Jess said as she walked by to a machine near where Piper was Kneeling on the bench.

"My arms hurt!"

"No pain no gain, right Mr Johnson?" Jess nodded at the grey haired sixty something man she was showing around the weights machines.

"That's right honey. Unless it's chest pain, then stop right away is what my Doctor says." The old guy chuckled.

Piper grimaced and pushed herself to finish the tricep exercises, pushing through the almost audible screams of her arm muscles and practically dropping the weight at the end. Jess had turned her back to Piper as she helped Mr Johnson get comfortable on the machine they were trying out and Piper gathered her water bottle to go and do her cool down stretching on the mat.

"Well done Piper, we'll have you ready for the school sports day yet." Jess grinned as Piper walked past.

"My membership ends in another week, so you'd better be quick." Piper smiled back as she left them behind. She was really enjoying her sessions at the gym, but couldn't afford to keep them up once she had to pay for full membership. It had been good to work out regularly and in a routine with goals where someone was pushing her. She had another week anyway, so she would make the most of it while she could.

XXXXX

Lorna came to the store early again on Wednesday afternoon to pick Tricia up. Brooke had been making some notes on what sort of gift packs they could prepare, depending on her budget and she jumped up as soon as she saw Lorna come through the door. After taking her around and selecting a few items, Piper let Brooke take them into the back room to gift wrap everything while she spoke to Lorna.

"So, Alex says you're OK with them staying here a bit longer than we planned?"

"Yeah, if it helps you out it's alright." Piper shrugged as she processed the payment through the register.

"They're not as bad as you were expecting are they?"

"They're a bit rough around the edges, but a little training can go a long way." Piper smiled.

"I think you might even miss them not being here." Lorna winked as Brooke returned with a box wrapped with ribbon.

"Oh wow, that looks gorgeous Brooke! My sister's gonna love this!"

"You're welcome." Brooke couldn't hide the smile on her face, so she shrugged and pretended to straighten something on the shelf behind her as Lorna gave a knowing glance to Piper who rolled her eyes and waved her away.

"I liked the bottle with the green top the best by the way, but they are all scrummy!" Lorna shouted back through the door as she left with Tricia.

XXXXX

Polly had been training Tricia and Brooke to use the cash register this week in the hope of persuading Piper that they could both go to the meeting with John on Thursday and leave the girls to run the shop for a couple of hours. On Thursday morning, Piper still wasn't sure about leaving the store with them, but Polly was insisting.

"Piper, this is a really big thing for us. I know I did it on my own last time, but I think we both need to be a part of this. What John says will be important and I don't want the added pressure of trying to remember it all word for word and wishing I'd said something you think of later. Let's just go together…Look, if you don't want to leave them in charge of the cash register, we'll just close the store for a couple of hours. Either way, we should do this together. Please P, I know you're ready for this presentation just like I am. Let's nail this thing!" Polly took hold of the blonde by her shoulders and made puppy eyes.

"Seriously? You're really meaning business if you're pulling those eyes out of the bag."

"Are they working yet?" Polly went cross-eyed.

"Yes, they're working. OK. Are you going to explain the painful torture techniques to them if anything happens while we are away then?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Polly kissed her on the cheek before heading out to talk to the girls and explain the plans.

XXXXX

They both went back to Pier's place to change into something suitable for a business meeting and did a double check over the files, presentation slides and samples that they'd put together. Once they were both happy, Polly drove them to John's office and they reported to the reception desk and waited as patiently as they could with Piper's legs jiggling up and down for John to see them.

John spoke them for a while about what they wanted to go through today and he asked if they'd be OK if a couple of his colleagues sat in while they did their presentation. They were fine with that as John had made them feel relaxed about it all and so they showed their slides, talked about projected profits based on the research they had done into other online companies who were start-ups and Tricia's costings for the new lines they were proposing. At the end, they handed out the sample pots and lots of 'oohs' and 'ahs' were heard when they smelled the scents.

They waited nervously for everyone to pass the bottles and soaps around before John spoke.

"Wow. You've put a lot of thought and effort into this, I can see that. Well done for what you've shown us today. You asked for my feedback and I'm happy to give that to you, but there's nothing big I'd change about this. Honestly. You've really taken on board what I said to Polly at our last meeting and acted on it with this. I'd change your projections to be slightly less optimistic when you first go live with a web presence, but I'm confident you can achieve those targets you're setting if you continue in this way. Gilly and Kevin? Anything you want to add?" He turned to his colleagues who were responsible for promotion and events.

"These bottles smell divine! Knowing they are made organically and locally is a big selling point and that comes across well in your brand values, so it's great to see that. Have you heard about the local trade events we're involved in organising? There's definitely some opportunities there for you to get a stand and get your name known if you're interested?" Kevin had barely finished speaking before Piper answered with a resounding "Yes! We'd definitely be interested in that!"

"You're going to need some initial investment to help you put these plans into action. Have you thought about how you'll approach that?" Gilly asked.

"Yes, we have an investor already who helped us to get this off the ground. She's really into helping women entrepreneurs and she's been supportive of our ideas so far." Polly answered.

"Well, there are no guarantees that she'll say yes to all of this of course. But we've tried to break it into some options in case we can't get financial backing for everything. We wanted to make sure it was watertight before we went to her with any of this though."

"That's fair enough." John answered.

"Would you finance it if you were holding the cash right now? Based on what you've seen today I mean?" Piper asked, wanting his honest opinion and not being entirely as convinced as Polly that they would get full support for everything they wanted to do. She chewed her lip nervously while he considered his answer.

"Honestly? I probably would, yes. It's a great niche product you've got there and the brand values are environmentally friendly, local and innovative."

Piper and Polly grinned as it looked like the hardest part might be over. They just needed to work on some tweaks with John and they were ready to do the most important bit – present it to an investor to make it a reality.

XXXXX

Piper was running late for her appointment with Julie on Friday morning and came into the office flushed from hurrying through the building to limit her lateness.

"I'm so sorry Julie. Traffic was a bitch because of road works outside my gym so it took me ages to get home and shower. I'm here now though."

"It's fine. I was doing paperwork after our meeting anyway, so I just started it earlier. Coffee?" Julie was up and at the door, ready to call her Receptionist to give the orders.

Julie sat down and pulled out her files and notebook.

"You go to the gym every morning?"

"No, sort of every other morning alternating with my running days. It's therapeutic."

"I bet! I don't know where you find the time and energy to do that and go straight to work."

"Well I go home first to shower and change. The customers like all kinds of scents, but my sweaty body is not one of them." Piper smiled as their coffee was brought in.

"They don't have showers at your gym? I thought they had all the modern conveniences these days?"

"They have them. I just don't use them. Since….what happened….in Litchfield I mean."

"You can say it Piper."

"Since the attack….in the showers."

"OK. Do you want to tell me about that?"

"The thing that happened in the showers?"

"Piper, you were raped. I know you don't like to say that word, but avoiding it will perpetuate your denial and denial is not dealing with it. I'm not going to force this today, but I want you to start thinking about calling it what it was when we are in these sessions. Can you start by saying the words to yourself and see if you can look in the mirror and do it before our next session? It will really help you to come to terms with it, I promise you…..But today I want you to tell me about why you go home to shower, instead of using the gym. What is it that you feel when you think about taking a shower anywhere but your own bathroom?"

Piper told Julie about taking a kitchen knife or scissors into the shower with her, her fear of someone walking in whole she's trapped in the shower cubicle and unable to escape. Julie made notes and nodded, letting Piper talk without interruption as she explained what progress she has made on her own by putting the scissors in the bathroom cabinet instead of the shower at home. Julie explained that it was perfectly understandable and that she was using the scissors as a crutch, like her safety blanket. It was good that she was no longer taking them under the shower spray with her at home, but she should try to change her routine and push herself a little more every so often, reducing her dependency on the safety blanket and facing the fear a little more each time. Even sitting in the shower fully clothed for 10 minutes without the water turned on and leaving the door unlocked was a change she could try. Piper felt a bit silly at the suggestion, but said she would try it all the same.

She got home and her mind was racing. She felt they had covered a lot of ground in their session this morning and there were things that were going to push her to face her fears and she wanted Alex more than anything to talk to her at that moment, to stop her from feeling overwhelmed. She picked up her phone and sent a text to the brunette, not even expecting a response. Just wanting to reach out for help as her heart raced.

'Can I talk to you? I promise I won't keep disturbing you. I just need to hear your voice. X'

Her cell started ringing within a couple of minutes and Piper picked it up to see Alex on the call I.D.

"Hey, are you OK? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Well, mostly nothing…..It's just….been a tough session with Julie this morning is all."

"Is she pushing you too hard? You can tell her to back off you know."

"No, it's good that she is. I just….what she wants me to do is hard. Where are you?"

"I'm in the restaurant bathroom. We're having dinner with the CEO of a company that just signed a new contract with us. Celebrating the deal I guess. What has Julie asked you to do?"

"Alex that's great! Oh God, I'm sorry for interrupting you. God, I promised I wouldn't do this. I'm sorry, you go back and enjoy your night."

"Hey, promised you wouldn't do what?"

"Be needy and whiny. No fucking wonder you crossed an ocean to get some space from me."

"Pipes, slow down will you? Are you at home?"

"Yeah, I've been taking Fridays off after these sessions to think everything over. Today was just….fucking hard." Piper tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Go and make yourself some chamomile tea and plug your iPad in. I'll make my way back to the hotel and Skype you. Give me 30 minutes, OK?"

"No! It's fine. Alex, please enjoy your night. I feel bad enough for ruining this for you already, you're supposed to be celebrating."

"There's no damned way I'm going back to sip champagne while you need me. Make some tea, have something to eat and get you iPad ready." Alex hung up so there could be no further protests from the blonde. Although she felt massively guilty that Alex was leaving her clients, she was relieved to know she wasn't going to be alone again.

VauseisBoss popped up as an incoming video call just over 30 minutes later and Piper sheepishly answered.

"Hey, sorry I was a bit later than I expected. The Uber driver took a wrong turn." Alex smiled.

"It's OK. It's nice to see you. Are you NAKED?!" Piper tried to peer down the camera.

"Afraid not. Strapless dress, see?" Alex chuckled and moved the camera to reveal a sculpted red dress with red heels that Alex had kicked by the side of the desk.

"Mmmm, I wish I hadn't seen that now." Piper groaned.

"Because the dress looks nice or because I'm wearing one at all?" Alex smirked.

"Both. You look amazing Al."

"Thank you. It's kinda wasted on these business meetings, but I don't get chance to wear it much these days."

"That is a waste, on both counts. You can wear it with me any time."

"Thanks. I'll hold you to that…So, do you want to tell me what happened in your session with Julie?"

Piper told her about how she felt about taking showers, not holding anything back and what Julie had suggested about pushing her boundaries a bit.

"Wow….I hadn't even thought about that. I should have known that might be a trigger for you."

"You can't know everything Alex, especially if I don't tell you."

"I knew you were locking the bathroom door, but I thought you wanted privacy. Like alone time to get away from me for a bit if things were getting a bit too intense or something."

"No! It's nothing like that. Your apartment is the first place I've ever taken a shower outside my own home since I was released. I'm fine with baths as my experiences with them are good. I just…associate showers with feeling vulnerable I guess."

Alex let her talk about her fears and what she might try to do to push herself a bit, but she was worried that Piper might be trying to do too much too soon on her own.

"Pipes, you have to take your time with this. You can't expect all of those barriers to come crashing down before your next appointment. I'm worried that you're going to push things too far and end up taking a step back. Maybe that will happen anyway, I don't know. But I don't want you to be on your own while you're doing this."

"Well I don't want to tell anyone else Alex. I can't bear Polly's pity while she's already cutting me slack for the court case and counselling she thinks I'm getting because of fucking Darryl."

"I'll be back in a couple of weeks Piper….I want to help you."

"I wish you were here now though Alex."

"I know you do." Alex closed her eyes, wishing she could teleport back to New York to hold her.

"I miss you Alex. Like, really fucking miss you." Tears spilled over her eyes and Piper tried to sniff them away.

"Hey, don't cry. Pipes….please, I can't see you like this." Alex's heart was breaking for both of them.

"I know, I know. Sorry." Piper sniffed and wiped her face.

"I might have to throw this hot dress away if it has this effect on you." Alex tried to make her smile and lighten the mood a little.

"Yeah?"

"Totally. I like it when hot chicks unravel before my eyes, but this wasn't the kind of unravelling effect I wanted, so I'll have to try a different tactic to cheer you up." Alex winked.

"What's your Plan B?" Piper tried to join in with the banter. She knew Alex was trying to change the subject and keep things light. It was a situation that couldn't be resolved over a Skype call anyway, so there was no point in whining about it.

"You got any ideas?"

"Actually I do. I'd definitely be cheered up by that photo Nicky has of you in lingerie." Piper smiled wickedly and Alex screwed her face up in confusion for a moment.

"What photo?"

"You. In red lacy lingerie on all fours, peering over your glasses at the camera. Fuck knows how Nicky has got that photo by the way and I don't think I want to know. But I want a copy." Piper grinned as realisation hit Alex.

"Oh fuck! How do you know about that?!" Alex hid her face in her hands for a minute. She told Nicky to delete that after their bet was through. The sneaky little devil had kept it after all.

"You can ask Nicky, when you get her to send it to me. In the interests of cheering me up I mean." Piper pouted and Alex smirked at the apparent change in her mood.

"OK. In the interests of cheering you up. But I want to know EXACTLY how cheery you get when you're looking at it Miss Chapman."

"Maybe. Let's see the goods first." Piper winked.

"Hmmm. You OK?"

"Better."

"Call me again tomorrow?"

"I'd like that but I'm going to spend the weekend with my parents. I've been avoiding it for too long already. How about I call you on Monday when I'm back."

"Alright. If you need to talk before then, just send me a text OK?"

"I will. Thanks Al. I don't know what I'd do without you." Piper reached out and touched the screen and Alex smiled.

"Alright, it's no good getting sappy now. You just basically asked me to send you a selfie of myself practically naked. I hope you look at that while you're staying with Ma and Pa." Alex smirked again and Piper rolled her eyes.

"Going now. Talk soon Al."

"Bye Pipes."

XXXXX

Alex closed her laptop down and sighed deeply before opening her mini bar up and pouring a scotch into a tumbler. Piper had made some really good progress while she had been in London and tonight was a real set back that frightened Alex. Nobody back home knew to look out for Piper right now because of what was going on and she was afraid that Piper testing these boundaries might end badly for her. She'd also seen Piper thrive when she was given the space to make her own decisions and that should include mistakes Alex supposed as she turned her drink in the glass. She would be with her family this weekend at least and they had already agreed a call on Monday, so Alex resolved to play it by ear and see how she was then before making any snap decisions.

She ran the hot water into the stand alone bath tub and wriggled out of her dress. It was the first time she'd had an early night since she arrived, albeit for unexpected reasons. It was an opportunity to think without interruption about what was important, what she wanted. She had dropped out of a dinner to celebrate one of the biggest contracts NY Logistics had ever won at the drop of a hat for Piper's call. That was before she even knew there might be a problem. It was clear that she was in deep with the blonde and she was still holding her heart after all of these years. No amount of distance between them or busy schedules could stop that and Alex realised she was foolish for thinking she might be better to think with the space. She felt a million miles away from the person she most wanted to be next to and it was taking all of her will power not to jump on the next flight to JFK just to wipe away those tears.

As much as they were both hurting from the distance right now, she knew it had been a good thing to give them both a chance to experience life without the other person's proximity intoxicating them. They'd not had one argument on Skype, no scathing texts or silent treatment. It had felt normal, almost like it used to. But also nothing at all like it used to.

Could she really forgive Piper for leaving her in Paris when her mother died? She had got her head around her wanting to leave because of the work, but the day her mother died? That was the stinger, the part that she had struggled to reconcile. Piper had seemingly forgiven her for landing her in prison….a prison where she was _raped_ for God's sake. If Piper could forgive her for that, what right did she have to hold onto her resentment at Piper leaving her when she needed her? Piper needed her now. She had made that clear. The calls when she needed to talk were to Alex, not Polly or her family. Piper was trusting her with some pretty messed up stuff she was dealing with and it was all the evidence she could ever need that Piper needed her, _wanted_ her.

How much more time did she need to sit and brood over facts that were already established? She wanted Piper. She had never stopped wanting Piper, _needing_ her.


	76. Chapter 76

**A/N: The last one wasn't very Vauseman, so here's a little bonus chapter. I'm going to massage my poor fingertips for a while now. Have a great weekend everyone!**

Piper was happy to spend most of Saturday alone with her Grandma at her house. She helped to tidy up the garden from the recent high winds that had scattered debris over the lawn and insisted on helping her with the cleaning, reaching into all the high places with ladders with a duster. She had a lovely day with just the two of them and briefly considered going straight home and avoiding the trip to see her parents for fear it might spoil the weekend. Alas, they already knew she was in the state, so she headed over to face the music and was relieved to find that Cal and Neri had also come over for dinner, lessening the pain.

Monday morning was running day with Pete and he picked her up at 6:30 sharp for the short trip to the park. Piper found it adorable that Pete was asking her what Polly's favourite food and wine were so that he could plan a surprise meal for her later this week. He wanted to do everything right and make her best friend feel special. Piper was so happy that Polly had found someone like that and she really liked Pete. He'd been there to support Piper and cheer her up when he had absolutely no obligation to. She was reminded of the time when Polly had insisted Piper took the day off for a spa day to prepare for a night out and wondered whether she should suggest that Polly did the same. It made her stomach turn to think what happened to Piper the night after being treated like a Princess in the spa all day though and she shook the thoughts away. Pete offered her another free month pass for the gym when her current card expired later this week, by way of thanks for giving him some tips for Polly's special night. Piper put up a tiny fight just for show, but she snapped his hand off with the chance to continue to go to the gym and classes. She planned on heading to yoga later before talking to Alex.

Getting back home to shower, she decided to close the door to the bathroom but not lock it. It was a first, but she could kid herself into thinking it looked locked to any potential intruder. She never took her eyes off the door handle all the while she was washing, but she managed it a smiled at her small win.

She tried the same thing that night when she got back from yoga and was towelling her hair dry when Alex texted to ask if she was ready.

"Hey, you survived a weekend with the Chapmans!" Alex waved at the camera.

"Hi Alex. I did. I can't tell you how. I'd have to kill you."

"And there's no space for a third body in your murder plot?"

"Nope. Strictly limited space. It's the way it goes with pre-meditated you know." Piper shrugged.

"I see you showered? How was it?"

"OK. I closed the door but didn't lock it. Twice today in fact, so baby steps right?"

"Baby steps is good. You feel OK?"

"Yeah, not as nervous as I thought. I watched the door, but I didn't have the anxiety that I sometimes get, so that was a relief."

"Cool. Are you gonna keep trying that and see how it goes then?"

"Yeah. I was going to ask you something though."

"OK, shoot."

"I still have Nicky's key for your place….And I was wondering if you'd mind if I tried the shower at your apartment?" Piper chewed her lip as she made the suggestion, feeling silly.

"Erm…..well I don't mind you going over to my place. But do you think that's a bit of a jump from where you are right now?"

"What, like a long way to go for a shower?"

"No. I mean it's showers that aren't your own that cause you the anxiety right?"

"Well, yeah. That's why I have to push myself."

"I don't know Pipes. What if you have a panic attack and there's nobody there to help you?"

"Maybe I can call you?"

"You can, but what if I don't hear it or I don't pick up before you flake out? I don't want you unconscious on the floor."

"How about if I just go and sit in it. No water. I'll just sit in the shower."

"When are you planning on trying this?"

"Tomorrow night?"

"Alright." Alex looked at her watch. "Do it after 8pm and I'll call you. I'd feel better if I could see you are OK. The internet passcode is by the TV and I'll text you the alarm code alright?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

They spoke for a while longer about Alex's plans for the rest of the week with her meetings and what things she had seen in London over the weekend. Piper told her about the meeting with John and the opportunity to get involved in the local trade events through Kevin and Alex was delighted for them both. She just needed to get the green light for the funding now and Polly was supposed to be setting that up for next week with their investor.

"I'm sure the money won't be a problem Pipes. If John says you've got a solid business case, you're on to a good idea."

XXXXX

Despite her bravery at suggesting going over to Alex's place last night, Piper was nervous all day about being there on her own. She knew her fears were irrational and there was good security at the apartment, but it didn't stop her from feeling sick as she parked her car and pressed for the elevator. Arriving on the top floor, the corridor was eerily quiet and she felt strange knowing that Alex wouldn't be inside waiting for her. She opened the door and entered the code to switch the alarm off before closing it and switching the lights on. The sense of comfort she felt from seeing Alex's coats hung on the hooks, her well-thumbed books on the shelves was unexpected. She had expected to feel like a creep stalker, walking around someone else's apartment when she knew they wouldn't be home. But she didn't feel like that at all. She wandered through to look into the bathroom where her shower nemesis awaited and put the light on. She shivered at the monster lurking in the corner. She'd get to that later. Switching the light off again, she made her way upstairs into Alex's bedroom and saw clothes strewn over the bed that she had decided not to take with her for the trip. Piper picked up a cashmere sweater and lifted it to her face. It smelled faintly of Alex, but mostly of detergent. Moving to the dresser, she picked up a bottle of perfume and smelled it. It wasn't a scent that reminded her of Alex. Putting the bottle back down, she ran her hands along the bed clothes until she reached the pillow, where she sat on the comforter and picked it up. She knew Alex slept on this side from the couple of time she had stayed over and the fact the brunette always preferred to sleep on this side, with Piper curled in next to her as they slept together. Bringing the pillow to her face, she buried her nose in the unique scent of Alex and filled her lungs to the point of bursting. If she could have held her breath and locked that away inside of her, she would. She had to breathe out eventually and put the pillow back down to lie against it.

"Fuck, I miss having you here."

Piper closed her eyes and concentrated all of her senses on inhaling the scent of Alex and feeling as close to her as she could get right now.

"How is that you can jump back into my life after 4 years and I'm like an addict craving a fix when you've only been gone for a week Alex Vause? How do you do this to me? What mind altering, no – _life_ altering drug are you?"

She jumped a foot into the air when the phone next to the bed started ringing a few minutes later.

"Jesus Christ!" She put her hand to her chest as she reached out for the handset.

"Hello?"

"There you are! Are you OK?" Alex sounded frantic.

"Alex! Hi! Yeah, I'm fine. What's up?"

"You were supposed to call me at 8….I've been calling your cell for half an hour, there was no answer at your place and you're not online on Skype. I was worried you'd had a panic attack."

Piper check her watch, it was 8:45pm.

"Shit! Sorry Al. I left my bag downstairs."

"Downstairs? Where are you?"

"Erm…..lying on your bed?" Piper winced at how creepy that sounded.

Alex laughed. "OK….."

"Anyway, sorry. Time got away from me apparently. I'm really not creeping around your apartment like a crazy ex-girlfriend….except I totally am, aren't I? Shit. It sounds worse than it is. I'm not masturbating over your bed sheets if that's any consolation."

"It definitely isn't." Alex chuckled.

"I'll head to the shower now and do what we agreed I would be doing shall I?"

"That would be good."

"Right. Yeah. On my way. Wait – did you want to Skype? This must be costing you a fortune!" Piper suddenly realised she was chit chatting over the Atlantic.

"Yeah, get your iPad set up on my internet and call me back OK?"

"I will. Sorry!"

Piper took a few minutes to get set up and dialled Alex on Skype to check it was working.

"Hi stalker Chapman, you ready to creep in my shower?" Alex smiled, eyebrow raised.

Piper walked into the bathroom, putting the light on and closing the door behind her.

"Look, you're making it sound worse than it is. I was just making sure the place was OK while you're away. I'm practically house sitting for you right now."

"I don't see shower tiles yet. Are you in?"

"Yes. I'm there. This is pretty fucking ridiculous isn't it?"

"You pretending you weren't nosying around my apartment?"

"No. Sitting in your shower fully clothed while we video chat."

"Oh. That. Well, we're taking baby steps right?" Alex shrugged.

"Yes, we are."

"How does it feel?"

"A bit stupid."

"You want to push it?"

"How?"

"I don't know. Unlock the bathroom door?"

"OK." Piper stood and unlocked the door, returning to sit on the shower floor again.

"Still OK?"

"Yep."

"Cool. Not as nervous as you thought then?"

"No. I think talking to you is helping."

"Glad I can be useful sometimes."

"You're always useful. More than useful. You're my rock." Piper smiled and blushed a little.

"So what were you doing in my bed?" Alex smirked.

"I wasn't _in_ your bed. I was _on_ it. Big difference."

"Really? Explain that difference to me because I'm not sure."

"I was…tired. Suddenly."

"Suddenly tired you say? So why didn't you get _in_ the bed? Why didn't you get inside _my_ bed Pipes?" Alex smirked again and Piper felt herself blushing.

"Urgh. You're insufferable sometimes."

"And you're avoiding the question. Still doing good in the shower?"

"Yep, still feeling stupid sitting in my clothes in the shower. Fun old time I'm having."

"Have you got your shoes on?"

"No, I took them off at the door. Why?"

"Take your socks off then."

"Why?"

"It's about vulnerability, right? You're more vulnerable when your skin is exposed. You want to try it?"

"OK." Piped put the iPad to one side and took her socks off.

"Still OK?"

"Yeah, still OK."

"What next?"

"You want me to take more clothes off?"

"That's a question you never need to ask. I meant what do you want to do now? Close the door to the shower maybe?"

"Oh. Um….OK." She slid the door closed and stood in the shower now.

"How is that?"

"My heart is racing a bit because I'm watching you and the door at the same time now."

"OK. Well keep breathing and keep talking to me. Can you see me and hear me if you put the iPad on the sink outside the shower?"

"I don't know….I can try…." Piper managed to balance the iPad against the taps so she could still see the screen.

"You OK?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good."

"What are you wearing?"

"Alex….."

"Can you get your mind out of the gutter for once Chapman? I meant are you wearing anything you can't get wet? Like a watch or some super expensive dry clean only clothes?"

"I can take my watch off….why?"

"Because I wondered if you wanted to try standing in the shower with your clothes on so you weren't as vulnerable as if you were naked, but you had the unlocked door and a new shower away from home. Ticks a lot of progress boxes. But if it's too much…."

"No. I can do that. I will try and do that. Don't go anywhere OK?"

"I don't want to push you too much Pipes. Just tell me if you don't want to do this. Only you know how you're really feeling right now. You've already done a lot tonight."

"I want to try Alex. I want to try with you…..I'm gonna…..I'm gonna see if I can do it without my jeans."

"Pipes, don't go too far with this. We don't need to…."

Piper was already out of the shower and taking her watch and jeans off quickly. Her heart was racing as she leaned over to switch the shower on to warm up the water.

"Pipes? You OK? Come over here and look at me will you?" Piper picked the iPad up and brought her face towards the screen more so she could be heard over the water.

"I will be quick. Just a minute is all. I need to do this Al. Just….talk to me. Tell me what you ate for dinner tonight."

Alex started speaking and Piper walked under the warm water, closing the door behind her gently. Her hands were shaking and she stared at the door as though she could keep it locked with the power of her mind alone. She stood under the water and breathed through her nose and out through her mouth, counting to 60. She could really hear what Alex was saying, but she could hear her voice and it was soothing. Reaching to 60, she switched the shower off and burst out of the door for a towel.

"I did it Al! I did it!"

"What? You started already?! Fuck Pipes, I thought we were going to count down or something! Are you OK?"

Piper wrapped a towel around her shaking body and picked up the iPad, a massive grin pulled across her face.

"I did it. 60 seconds, bare legs and running water with an unlocked door!" Piper looked like she had won the lottery.

"Awesome. That's my girl. Fucking awesome Pipes." Alex grinned back at her with tears in her eyes.

They said goodnight and switched off so that Piper could get dried and changed into some of Alex's clothes. Alex had insisted she slept in her bed tonight so she didn't catch a cold by trying to go home now it was so late and Piper was only too glad to accept the offer. The chance to sleep on Alex's pillow tonight would top a great day off and she slid into the sheets for a particularly restful night of dreams.


	77. Chapter 77

**A/N:** **I had big plans for lying in the sun and eating ice cream today. Rain stopped play, so this is my ice cream for you guys to share. Let's say it is vanilla, with a chocolate flake ;-) Happy hump day!**

Piper had been emboldened by Alex being on video call when she went into the shower on Tuesday night. Feeling so close to her ex-girlfriend by being in her apartment and seeing her on the video had given Piper a surge of bravery that could have easily backfired. She knew that she shouldn't attempt to push herself like that again and resolved to take it steady by showering at her own place for the rest of the week, leaving the door unlocked and even a little ajar by Friday morning. She couldn't wait to go and see Julie to tell her about the progress she had made since they last spoke and her counsellor shared her joy when she saw how much brighter Piper was as a result of it.

"That was pretty brave to do on your own Piper. I'm glad you haven't pushed yourself too far though. You've been sensible to know your limits and that's something to be proud of. These are big steps for you, so you need to reward yourself for that with a pat on the back."

"Thanks. You know what? I should have a little reward for that I think. Good idea!" Piper was still smiling, happy that Julie was pleased with her progress.

"Why did you try that with Alex being away?"

Piper shrugged. "She knows how to keep me calm, even on the phone. I wouldn't have done it if she wasn't with me – even in a virtual sense. I stayed at her place that night. She said it was OK. I can't explain it, but I just felt so safe by being surrounded by her stuff. Do you know what I mean?"

"It's familiar to you. The sights and smells of that permeate your brain when you're anxious. I suppose hearing her voice and seeing her too was almost like she was right there beside you."

"Almost, but I don't want almost." Piper whispered the last few words and turned her gaze to the window, watching the trees blow in the wind.

"Have you told her how you feel?"

Piper thought for a second before answering. "No. It's not fair to do that while she's away with work."

"You think it's not fair to tell her you love her?"

Piper blushed, surprised at the directness of the question and avoided Julie's eyes as she responded.

"It's not that simple."

"Because your relationship is complicated, right?"

"Well, yes. Plus she needed space and I want to give her that. It's not fair to her if I'm….I don't know…."

"Telling her how you really feel about her? That you miss her?"

"Yes, all of those things. Plus, I don't know that she feels the same. What if I bare my soul like that and she says 'thanks, but no thanks' and has found that she's better off on her own? What if she really likes the space I'm giving her?" Piper ran her hands up and down her jeans as she looked at Julie, hoping for her to tell her everything was going to be OK.

"Then you're in the same boat as everyone else is when they love someone I'm afraid." Julie smiled.

XXXXX

She got a call from her Lawyer on Friday afternoon to say the court case would kick off at 9am next Thursday, but she wouldn't be called to take the stand that day. She felt her anger start to rise a little and went for a run to cool it down since it was a nice day. It was still cold out, but the end of March signalled the start of some warmer weather for spring and Piper felt her optimism rise with the first shoots of daffodils as she pounded her feet around the park. Since Alex was trying to work and Piper was trying to keep to her promise to give her space, the pair had only exchanged a few texts since they spoke on Tuesday night. Alex had been checking Piper wasn't pushing herself to go too far with the shower fear and Piper was determined not to sound needy in her replies or even ask if she had booked flights home yet. She dared not hear the answer in case it wasn't as soon as she wanted it to be. She was sure that Alex had told her three weeks, and that would be exactly 3 weeks next Friday. One more weekend and 5 working days and she could be back in the city. She would throw herself into work and the gym to kill the time until then and tire herself out so she would not lie in bed thinking about whether Alex would want to be with her when she got back. On the flip side, Piper was uncertain about what a reunion might look like. The limbo was difficult because Alex wasn't in the city. Once she was, would she call time on the relationship and leave Piper in no doubt that she wasn't wanted. It didn't bear thinking about.

Piper insisted that Polly take the weekend off again to go and pamper herself at the spa on Saturday since Pete was preparing their date night for then. It was sweet how much trouble he was going to and Polly knew about the home cooked meal, but not the extra touches he was planning. Piper was sworn to secrecy and just had to help make sure Polly was out of the house all day and Pete would pick her up from Piper's place at 7pm.

She didn't mind being in the store on her own and enjoyed the quiet hum of the radio, until Nicky came in to change that.

"Yo blondie! Long time, no see!" She bounced up to the counter.

"Hi Nicky! Yeah, you've been quiet. Up to mischief?" Piper raised an eyebrow.

"Always. You know me. Speaking of mischief…."

"What?"

"I understand I have to give you something."

"A delivery?"

"No. Do I look like a delivery driver? It's more like _send_ you something I guess."

"Am I supposed to ask you 20 questions to get to the answer now?"

"We could do it that way. Want to lose clothes every time you get it wrong?" Nicky waggled her eyebrows.

"Not while I'm working….and sober. Thanks for the offer though." Piper shook her head in despair.

"Probably best. Vause ought to take your advice more often." Nicky grinned.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Anyway, how are you doing? Missing your stick of celery yet?"

"If you're referring to Alex, she's not my stick of celery."

"Ah, right…..Do you want her to be?" Nicky hopped up to sit on the counter.

"This is a bit deep and meaningful for you. Are you fishing for something specific?" Piper narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Hey, I'm just asking a question!"

"Did Alex ask you to ask me that?"

"Do you want Alex to have asked me to ask you that?"

"Does Alex want me to want her to have asked you to ask me that?" Piper challenged.

"OK, I'm out." Nicky held her hands up and Piper laughed.

"Good job you don't have to lose any clothes now isn't it?" The blonde grinned victoriously.

"Which reminds me. I need to Bluetooth you something. Get your phone Chapman."

Piper pulled her phone from her pocket and switched Bluetooth on. "What is it?"

"All your birthdays come at once." She pressed send and Piper's couldn't hide her smirk when the photo came through.

"Is that everything?" Piper enquired innocently.

Nicky sighed. "No. Alex said you had to witness me do this." Nicky turned her screen to Piper as she deleted the photo.

"Do I have the only copy now?"

"Yes, you do. Scouts honour." Nicky saluted. "I had big plans for that."

"So do I." Piper grinned and slipped her phone back into her pocket.

"A few of us are going bowling tonight in Williamsburg if you fancy it?"

"Who's going?"

"Yours truly, Taystee, Taystee's boyfriend, Poussey, Poussey's girlfriend, Lorna….Lorna's boyfriend." Nicky counted them out on her fingers before nodding she was finished with the roll call.

"So, you're asking me to be your plus one?" Piper smirked.

Nicky rolled her eyes. "You'll only come if I say yes, so yes."

Piper grinned.

"You can take that look off your face. I'm not putting out."

"Really? This will be our third date Nick. I never had you pegged as being such a prude."

"Believe me, if I did drop your drawers, you'd be U-hauling before Vause could say 'first flight to JFK'."

"Who says I wouldn't drop yours first?" Piper smirked as she went to greet a customer at the door.

"Was that a yes?" Nicky shouted as she walked to the door.

XXXXX

Piper made sure Polly was looking gorgeous for when Pete picked her up and waved them both off before locking her house up and heading over to meet Nicky and the gang at the bowling alley. They had a great time and her face hurt from laughing at Nicky's bowling technique as she tried increasingly creative ways to throw the ball into the gutter at every turn. They lost dismally, with Taystee's boyfriend coming out as the clear winner. Piper had opted to drive so she could get up early for work in the morning, so she dropped Nicky, Poussey and her girlfriend off on her way home. Only since she was in Williamsburg anyway….she might as well stay at Alex's place tonight she reasoned.

She couldn't keep the smile from her face as she searched through Alex's dresser drawers for something to wear. Settling on a silky cream camisole top with matching shorts, she reapplied her makeup and changed into Alex's clothes before fanning her hair onto the fluffy pillows and lying on the luxurious sheets. After a few practiced pouts and poses, she took some selfies of herself on the bed and grinned at the results as she swiped through them. Landing on the photo she got from Nicky earlier, Piper stopped and zoomed into the image of Alex in red lingerie. It wasn't a set she'd seen before, but Piper wondered how many sets of lingerie would be new to her on Alex's gorgeous body now. The photo of her leaning on all fours gave a more than tantalising view of her cleavage to the camera and Piper followed her pale skin down to where pretty French knickers met her long thighs. Her eyes lingered for a long time and she swiped the screen to keep it open several times before moving to meet Alex's eyes. They were looking straight into the camera, over the top of her glasses, her signature eyebrow raised as though knowing where Piper's hands wanted to wander as she lay looking at the beauty before her.

XXXXX

There was nothing to eat for breakfast but black coffee at Alex's place, so she was up early in the morning to go home and get ready for work. It was a quiet morning at PoPi with Polly being off and Piper typed a text for Alex.

'Thanks for the photo. Apparently it's a limited edition?'

Half an hour later, a reply came back.

'Very limited. You like?'

'Ask your bed sheets ;-)' Piper attached the best photo of her in Alex's night clothes and pressed send. She smiled as she waited for Alex to reply.

'Seriously?! Am I going to need a restraining order when I get home? As payment for 2 nights of rent, I'll bank that for my bed sheets tonight. ;-)'

'You're welcome. X'

'Since Nicky has told me she was on a date with you last night…..please just confirm there wasn't an identical twin to Cynthia from Rugrats on the pillow next to you. It may impact my arousal capabilities.'

'LMAO! No!She was very well behaved. Didn't even kiss me goodnight. Three dates in and still waiting for first base.'

'Keep on waiting.'

'Maybe I should make the first move….' Piper played coy to see if Alex would play along.

'Nah. She likes a pillow princess.'

'Shame. I'm all top ;-)'

'Really? I don't remember you getting a promotion…. I'm banking that image with the photo then. Looks like I have a busy night ahead…'

'On your own I hope?'

'I don't think mutual masturbation over an ex is a kink I'll find easily in Madrid, so yeah.'

The reminder of the word 'ex' jarred with Piper as it was how Alex was still thinking about her. She was half hoping for a lapse back into being in a relationship again, but they weren't at the bridge of commitment yet. She wasn't sure the bridge was even built yet as she stared at the white water rapids of 'forgiveness' that she might have to paddle across first with a wooden spatula for propulsion.

'When are you coming home? I know I said I wouldn't ask…..but I'm asking. X'

"Patience was never your strong suit LOL. Friday, so not long. I'm ready for my own bed – especially now I've seen you wearing my clothes in it. Very dirty tactics Ms Chapman - and I guess I'll see just how dirty when I see those sheets ;-)'

Maybe the spatula could be upgraded to a snow shovel?

XXXXX

With confirmation that Alex would be back in only 5 days, Piper threw herself into work and organised their attendance at the first local trades event that John's colleague had recommended they get involved with. The court case was this week and Piper needed all of the distraction she could get to not think about that. Polly had organised a meeting with their investor for next week so that they could get a decision on the expansion plans. It was much better than she'd hoped to get out of Polly this week, as she perpetually shared her stream of consciousness on whether Pete was 'the one' and Piper held in her stream of vomit with just as much gusto.

Piper opted not to attend court on Thursday. She would have to be there more than she'd like when she was called upon, so tried to save herself from some stress at least for the first day. She texted Steve to let him know she wouldn't be there and he said he'd do the same and take an extra shift at the hospital to save his leave days. When Thursday came around, Piper was anxious about the court case starting as well as Alex's imminent return and went to the gym before work. Jess wasn't working when Piper arrived because she was the first person through the door when they opened at 6am. She pushed her reps on every single exercise of her programme to 25% above what she was meant to do. Her muscles burned from the exertion and she relished the feel of the lactic acid building up in every limb and sinew of her body. Pushing through her programme, she left her bag in a locker and put her earbuds in to go for a run around the streets near to the gym to work her lungs to exhaustion. She returned at 8am to grab her bag and rush home to shower and change for work.

She set to work cleaning the large glass window as soon as she got in, wearing her earbuds again until Polly made her jump by tapping her shoulder. Piper pulled the White Stripes from her ear canals and wiped her forehead with her sleeve.

"Are you OK?" Polly asked, forehead creased with concern.

"Yeah. It needed doing. Filthy it is." Piper nodded at the window and was about to put her music back on when Polly touched her arm.

"No doubt, but you're doing it with such vim and vigour that I'm worried you're going to put it through."

Piper rolled her eyes. "It's elbow grease as my Grandmother would say."

"It's you working through something that's on your mind, as your best friend would say." Polly levelled. "You thinking about the court case?"

"Yes." Piper sighed and dropped the cloth she was holding into the cleaning bucket.

"Why don't you just go if you're thinking about what might be happening, see for yourself?"

"It'll just piss me off more seeing his smug face in his smug suit."

"But you'd hear what the evidence is going to be. Maybe it will be useful?"

"I doubt it. My testimony is submitted already. It's not like I can change anything on account of new information. I'd rather just distract myself today I think. Thanks though." Piper hugged her friend briefly before getting back to the task.

"Alright. Well if you change your mind…."

XXXXX

She had been mulling it over all day and she decided that she would go and buy some essential groceries for Alex to come back home to. Having no idea what time she might be coming back on Friday, she decided to go to the grocery store and then drop them off on Thursday night. That way, Alex would have some food in for a couple of days if she wanted to relax and sleep off the jetlag. Piper went shopping for a few essentials and arrived at Alex's place with half a dozen bags, which inconveniently had to be carried in two trips to her car. She made sure the place was tidy from the couple of times she had stayed over, put the bunch of flowers that she'd brought into a vase on the dining table and then wrote a note.

 _Hey Alex,_

 _Welcome home!_

 _I wasn't sure what time you'd be back, so I've left some food in your fridge. There is bacon, eggs, bread, milk, salad and some things for lunches and dinners in case you don't fancy heading out shopping. I'm sure you'll be exhausted when you get home, so take a rest to get your body clock in the right zone._

 _Hopefully see you soon,_

 _Piper x_

XXXXX

Alex and Bill touched down in JFK late on Wednesday afternoon. They'd spent a lot of time together this past three weeks, after not really knowing much about each other before the trip. Alex hadn't gone into the details about how she made the money to set up NY Logistics, keeping it as simple as making some good investments with money she had been left. Bill had really missed his family while they had been away and found the trip hard to be apart from his wife and grandkids for so long. He'd been very shy in their first meetings and Alex could see he would never be comfortable with the social side of international travel for pressing palms and making contacts. It would be something Alex would likely need to continue to do. Not 6 months ago, she'd have been perfectly happy with the prospect and excuse for international travel again, but she had missed home this time. The roots that she had put down in New York really made it feel like home now, rather than just the place she kept her possessions in between flights. Spending so much time there, she had a tight group of friends, a good team of employees working for her and Piper. Sort of.

Bill's wife was waiting in the airport for him and he even seemed a little tearful when she ran to him to emrace warmly. Bill introduced them briefly and Alex insisted he get home to rest, rather than talk to her for any longer.

"You've seen enough of my exhausted face already today. Get away home with your lovely wife and go impress your grandkids with those Manchester United football shirts. We can catch up next week."

"You're sure?"

"Totally. Thanks for your help Bill, you've really been a massive help in moving these contracts to signatures. The hard work starts now we're back, so enjoy your weekend buddy." Alex slapped him on the back and smiled as they waved her goodbye and walked out of the doors.

Alex was pulling her bags towards the cab parking when Nicky appeared behind her and out of breath.

"Hey Sasquatch! You need a ride somewhere?"

Alex turned to see a grinning Nicky bowing and waving a set of car keys. Her eyes went wide when she saw the car keys.

"What the fuck?! Nick, you'd better not have been behind the wheel of my Audi…." Alex reached to grab the keys as Nicky whipped them away and put them into her pocket.

"I need the practice. I thought you'd be pleased!"

"You can practice in a learner car with an _instructor_. Please tell me you haven't tried to drive my damned car Nick?!" She strode to the doors, following closely behind Nicky. "And you could give me a hand with my bags here you inconsiderate asshole."

Nicky laughed and put her middle finger in the air behind her head. "Welcome home boss!"

"What, no marching band and rose petals?"

"Nope. Try your not-girlfriend for the hearts and flowers treatment."

"Oh yeah?" Alex raised an eyebrow as Nicky turned to hold the door open for her.

"Yes, you idiot. She's totally pining for you."

"Why do you say that?" Alex chuckled as she pulled her case through the doorway.

"I don't know….the puppy dog eyes when I mention your name…the trying too hard not to ask if I've heard from you every time I hear from her, the fact she still has my spare key to your place and conveniently misplaces it if I ask about it." Nicky grinned as Alex chuckled as they walked to the car park. "But don't let on you know that."

"I won't. I'm going to have some fun with it though…..Where's the car then and there'd better be someone with a licence driving it?"

"Relax would you? Poussey's driving, look."

XXXXX

Alex was pretty worn out from the travelling and grateful that Nicky and Poussey didn't hang around to catch up and have coffee when they dropped her home. Helping her to get her luggage to the front door, Nicky ushered them both away and made Alex promise to sleep herself to a really good mood when she came back to work on Monday. It was lovely to smell home when she opened the door and she immediately noticed the fresh flowers on the able with a note perched next to them. She smiled at how thoughtful Piper had been and opened the fridge to find it full of all sorts of food. She ate a bowl of pasta before opening her case to sort some things out for the laundry and typed a text out for Piper.

'Hey, thanks for the fridge-sized food parcel you left me! How much do I owe you? Got home an hour ago, so going to start unpacking before I crash and burn. Are you working tomorrow? X'

Piper smiled when she got the message, relieved that Alex got home OK.

"Glad you liked it and you don't owe me anything. Call it rent for using your facilities ;-) I'm working Sat and Sun. Why?'

"No reason, just wondered. Going to crash now. Have a great weekend! X'

Alex chuckled as she put her phone down and went to put some clothes in to wash before going up to her room for an early night. Her bed smelled of Piper and it was comforting to know the blonde had wanted to stay there – on her side too, while Alex had been away. It took only a few pages of reading before she felt her eyes grow heavy and she slept through the night peacefully.

XXXXX

Piper had been at work all day with Polly, mostly talking about how to play hard to get when Piper so very clearly wanted to rush around to throw herself into Alex's arms.

"It's not hot to be needy Piper. I'm just saying you should play it cool."

"But for how long? I've not seen her for 3 weeks….I mean there's cool and there's heading into the North Pole."

"Let her come to you." Polly shrugged, like it was easy.

"What if she's waiting for me to go to her? Like, what if we're both playing it cool and nobody makes a move first? We could get grey and wrinkly waiting….. _that's_ not hot."

"Exaggerating much?" Polly rolled her eyes as she made up another gift box on the counter.

"Ugh….I really wanna see her. We've been apart for 4 years already, surely we've done our bit for playing it cool…"

"Look, do what you want to do P. I'm just saying, you liked it when Alex pursued you and I get the distinct impression Alex is the spider in all of this."

"Urgh…I wish you'd stop saying that. I really wanna be the spider." Piper whined as she picked a worn label off the shelves.

"You're never gonna be the spider with Alex. The best you can do is run around the edge of the web for a while and make a good show of the chase." Polly shook her head when Piper's eyes lit up.

It was mid-afternoon by the time Alex texted Piper again.

'Hey, you got any plans tonight? Thought you might want to come around to my place? x'

Be the fly Piper, but a fly with running shoes on. Sexy running shoes. Piper considered her sexy running shoes reply.

'I've got plans to head to the gym when I finish work, so I do have plans.'

Shit. What happened to sexy running shoes you idiot? They're no good if she can't even _see_ them! Jeez. That full stop was meant to be a dot dot dot…..as in, to be continued….as in, unless you can persuade me not to go to the gym.

'OK. Another time. X'

Brilliant play there Chapman. You wanted her to come to you. She did and you blew her off. Groan. Now she was going to sound needy. The exact opposite of Polly's advice. Or she could ignore it and just wait for another invitation. Alex was probably already calling Nicky to have a night in with her best friend instead.

'If by 'another time' you mean a little later tonight, then I'm free?' Piper cringed when she pressed send, but her pride could suck it if it got her through the door of Alex's apartment quite frankly.

Polly appeared and saw her boring eyes through her phone screen.

"Lemme see what's got you so captivated." Polly grabbed her phone and read the text exchange.

"Seriously? A budding spider would have left it and made her chase harder. When I said run around the edge of the web, I didn't mean go bounding into the centre like a Labrador after a squeaky ball P."

Piper snatched her phone back as a reply came through from Alex.

'OK. How late were you thinking?'

Polly read it over her shoulder. "Be vague…..Or tell her you'll be there in 5 minutes wrapped in a bow and wearing nothing else." Polly winked as she went back to the stock room.


	78. Chapter 78

**A/N: It's Friday and I know emj137 will be on the train right about now, waiting for this to ping in her mailbox ;-) Thanks for the reviews and PMs everyone, I know you've been holding your breath for this one LOL. Hope you like it and don't fall off the edge of your seat at the end OK? Have a great weekend everyone!**

There was no way that Piper could concentrate on a yoga class tonight, but Polly had pushed her out of the store early.

"If I hear you start even one more sentence with 'do you think Alex…' I will not hold back on choking you. After a mere 15 minute recess, Piper had forgotten the warning and came through the stockroom door with her next random thought. It was enough for Polly to grab Piper's coat and bag and walk her to the door.

"Go to the gym, get your hair done, dig a damned hole. Do something other than torture me for the rest of the day. Have a nice night. See you tomorrow." Polly closed the door and Piper found herself on the pavement.

Afraid that she'd do the same to Jess, she opted to go for a run instead before coming home to shower. She was undecided about what to wear, wanting to keep it casual but also have made an effort to get out of her work clothes. After several iterations of paired clothing options, she settled on a pair of black leggings and a cream off-shoulder knitted sweater. She dried her hair into loose curls, leaving it lying on her shoulders and put on some light make up. Painfully aware that she was ready by 5pm, she thought about what the slowest possible route would be to Alex's place to kill some time and seriously considered walking, but not wanting to arrive sweaty or wind swept.

Piper knocked on the door of Alex's apartment at 6:30 clutching a bottle of white wine. Alex opened the door wearing a faded Rolling Stones t-shirt that used to be black and worn black jeans.

"Hey, you're um, a lot earlier than I was expecting? You look nice too." Alex stepped forward and pulled Piper into a warm embrace before quickly letting go.

"Hi. Oh, I just threw this on after work. The closest things on the laundry pile." Piper tried to shrug off her embarrassment at having made a bit of an effort. It felt like she had prepared for a date now when Alex was in her casual clothes, despite trying to not dress for a date. Cringe.

"Is that for tonight?" Alex nodded to the bottle Piper was holding behind her back now.

"Um…yeah. Just figured I'd bring it over. I've drunk plenty of your stash, so I owe you one." Piper thrust the bottle in front of her, waiting for Alex to take it.

"OK….will you be coming in to drink it or shall I bring you a glass out here?" She took the bottle from Piper's hand and gestured inside with it.

"Yeah, I'll come in. Thanks." Closing the door behind her, she automatically followed Alex as she strode back to the kitchen to put the wine in to chill.

"Have you eaten? I was going to cook some tarragon chicken and there are two breasts in the pack….." Alex stood up from looking in the fridge to find Piper standing right behind her.

"Um, er, no I'd better not. I was going to cook myself tonight…" Piper averted her eyes to start shaking her coat off and walking towards the coat hooks.

"Really? And what will you be cooking?" Alex raised an eyebrow because Piper very rarely made an effort to cook properly when she was on her own.

"What? Um….pasta."

"What kind?"

"Twists."

"What pasta dish I meant."

"It's like a tomato sauce recipe."

" _Like_ tomato sauce? Sounds complex."

"It is. It's got…peppers in it…"

"And tomatoes I presume?" Alex was holding back a laugh from behind Piper's stammering as she hung her coat up.

"Yeah, and tomatoes."

"You don't have a clue what else Dolmio put in those jars do you?" Alex grinned as Piper turned around and saw she was playing with her.

"You're such a snob." Piper rolled her eyes.

"And you're insulting my culinary skills by turning me down for a jar of processed sauce. I'm hurt." Alex put her hand on her heart, feigning the pain of her rejection.

"Well, Mr Dolmio asked first." Piper shrugged as she sat on a bar stool by the kitchen worktop.

"He did? Wow, I need to up my game if an old puppet man is stealing my dinner date."

Piper quirked an eyebrow. "Dinner date?"

"It's a date – today, and we're going to have dinner." Alex backpedalled with as much nonchalance as she could muster.

"Of course it is." Piper grinned as Alex turned her back to pull ingredients out of the fridge.

"Are you sure you want to watch me cook and eat dinner alone while you save yourself for Mr Dolmio?"

"Well, I guess Mr Dolmio makes for an excellent standby when I don't get an offer of homemade dinner, so I can let him down gently tonight. I don't want to hurt your culinary feelings."

"Great, I'll get started then." Alex began preparing the food and Piper sat at the breakfast bar.

"For the record, you need to let a girl know you plan to cook her dinner when you make the invitation."

"Why?"

"So she knows the tone for the evening."

"The _tone_?" Alex smirked as she chopped herbs on the board between them.

"Yeah, so she knows what to wear and not to eat before she comes around. So she doesn't assume she will or won't be fed."

"What about spontaneity? Doesn't that beat pre-planning?"

"Sometimes. But it makes a girl less nervous when she knows what to expect."

"Were you nervous tonight?" Alex stopped chopping to swipe the herbs into a dish.

"Not nervous. I just…didn't know if it was a date."

"It's not a date Piper." Alex chuckled. "We're friends remember? Friends can call around and spontaneously eat dinner together without setting a _tone_ as you put it." As Alex tried to make light of it, the flash of disappointment on Piper's face was clear but fleeting to the taller woman.

"But thanks for the tips. I'll add those to my checklist when I _am_ beating Mr Dolmio to the punch with actual dates." Alex smiled as she wrapped the chicken and put it into the oven.

"You're the last person I need to give dating advice." Piper scoffed.

"Oh? And who's the first?"

"Myself."

Alex laughed. "And what advice would you give yourself?"

"I'm not telling you!"

"Come on! Share this wisdom."

"I'm not giving you tips!"

"You just said I don't need them!" Alex grinned.

"I didn't say that at all Little Miss Ego."

"I'm pretty sure you did. It's what you meant anyway." Alex smirked as she prepared the sauce, pouring in some wine. "Do you want some of this? It's one that's already chilled. We can save yours for another night."

"Already thinking there's going to be a second date are you Vause? Sure of yourself aren't you?"

"Yes I am. And yes, there will be a second." Alex smirked as she set the pan on a low heat with the lid on and moved to stand across from Piper with a glass of wine.

"So, you're admitting that this is a date now?" Piper levelled her eyes with Alex.

"I didn't say that." Alex held her eyes and gave nothing away.

"I'm calling it a date. For the record." Piper didn't look away and caught Alex's smile before the taller woman could turn and get the bottle of wine to top up.

"So, how's things?" Alex leaned down a little so she was at the same height at the blonde opposite her.

"Good. I haven't got any crazy shower stories, you'll be pleased to hear."

Alex chuckled. "I am. Did you hear anything about what happened in court this week?"

"No. I told my Lawyer I didn't want to know either. I'm curious though, to see what evidence they are presenting first. It can't be related to my case specifically, so it must be one of the other women. I can't help but wonder how she must be coping with all of this." Piper looked down and turned the stem of her glass.

Alex moved her hand across the counter to move her fingers over the back of Piper's wrist, stroking it with her thumb. "You can't think about other people in there. It's not your worry to take on you know?" Piper didn't look up, but closed her eyes to the feel of Alex's warmth against her skin for a moment before Alex moved away to stir the sauce.

"I know. You're right. So staying away is the best I can do at the moment."

"Good. Do you know when they want you to attend yet?"

"Not sure yet. I might go in next week and see how things are going anyway."

They talked easily about the court case and Piper asked about Alex's trip in more detail, finding out that they had won some new contracts out there that would secure the jobs for all of Bill's staff as well as provide opportunities for expansion. Alex told her that she had bought out the company that Bill was working for and they would be re-branding as NY Logistics, with two bases in New York.

"Alex, that's amazing! This is massive! Like, a really big deal that you've got these European contracts…."

"I know right? I might even have to take your advice and take some new staff on who are all academic and shit about logistics to help me out a bit. It's getting too much for me to keep the hours we need for the European workload, so we might need to look at shift patterns for all areas of the business to make it work. I'm burning the candle at both ends now and I barely have enough time to do anything but work at the moment."

Alex turned to plate up their dinner and Piper topped up their glasses with some more wine.

"You need to be careful to not burn yourself out if you're already feeling it Al. Can Nicky or Lorna help out a bit more?"

"Not really. I've got them running things on the ground already and I need to keep the core local business going because that's what pays the bills. The contracts get paid on delivery so it's all investment until they sign it off, so we can't afford to go all in on that. I need to think about it some more with Bill. I don't want to bore you with all of that tonight. I'm not working tonight, so let's not mention it anymore hey?"

They sat and ate their meal, with Piper telling Alex all about her gym sessions and how much she was enjoying working out again.

"Jess seems nice."

"She is! She really knows her stuff and she pushes me to do what's in my programme. She even showed me how to throw a punch in a one to one when I was pissed last week." Piper laughed.

"Is she gay?"

"What?! Why do you ask that?"

"I'm curious." Alex shrugged as she drank some more wine.

"I have no idea. It's none of my business!"

"Come on Pipes, you must have an idea. Does she have long fingernails?"

"No, she works in a gym for God's sake. She's always fixing up the machines and stuff."

"OK. Well does she - ."

"Alex, seriously? It's none of my business and it really doesn't matter. Why are you so interested in who she sleeps with?"

"Because you have a lot to say about her. I want to know if she's hitting on you." Alex took a sip of wine and regarded Piper over the rim of the glass.

Piper got up to clear their plates, hiding her smile as Alex's jealousy got the better of her. _Be the fly Piper, run around the web….._

"Well, she did ask if a man was the reason I was in the gym. I guess she might have been trying to work out which team I'm batting for."

"What did you tell her?"

"I don't remember now. She said there was always a man involved when a pretty woman came to the gym wanting to punch something." Piper shrugged.

"Gay. Gay for you to be exact. But you didn't set her straight either?" Alex raised her eyebrow.

"Like how? Telling her there was a man who tried to rape me who was in court denying it, so yes she was right?"

"No. Like telling her you're not interested." Alex stood to put the dishwasher on.

"She didn't say she was interested Alex….are you jealous?" Piper smirked.

"No."

"Really?" Piper moved a little closer to where Alex was standing. "You're sure about that?" Alex held her eyes as Piper stepped close enough to reach out and touch.

"Do I have a reason to be jealous?" Alex reached out and pushed a strand of Piper's hair out of her face.

"No." Piper moved closer still. "I don't want anyone else." She leaned in slowly. "To be perfectly clear…..I've got my eye on a tall, hot, dark haired lesbian wearing sexy glasses." She whispered by Alex's ear, making sure her hot breath would caress the skin of Alex's neck. She moved her hand onto Alex's waist as she finished humming the last words into Alex's ear. "But I don't know if she's into me."

Alex moved her hand up into Piper's hair as the blonde moved her face to look at her. She caressed her fingers across Piper's cheek, concentrated on the movement and feeling of Piper pressing her skin into her palm. Cupping her jaw gently, Alex looked from brilliant blue eyes to slightly parted pink lips. She brought her lips down to meet Piper's and pressed them together, closing her eyes as she moved her mouth against the lips she had been dreaming about. Piper moved her hand into Alex's hair and pulled her closer, moaning as Alex deepened the kiss and opened her mouth. Piper tightened her grip around Alex's waist and moved her thumb over the material of the band tee. The kiss was chaste and gentle and they enjoyed the taste of each other for quite some time before Piper broke the lip lock and pulled away slightly.

"I guess we should talk?" Piper held onto the loops of Alex's jeans, not wanting to let her go.

"Yeah." Alex smiled and stroked her hand up Piper's arm before leading them into the lounge with a bottle of wine.

"So….I'll jump right in with the question that's been burning on my mind since I arrived here tonight…Did you get chance to think about things while you were gone? Think about us?" Piper offered when she couldn't contain it any more.

"I did. A lot actually." Alex hated the conversations about feelings, preferring to show rather than tell. But she knew it was necessary for them to be honest with each other and for Piper to know where they stood.

"Getting away from the stress and the worry was good for me. You might think that's selfish when you compare it to what you're going through right now, but I needed space to think. You unloaded a lot of stuff onto me that I didn't feel I could handle properly. Some serious shit that I've never had to think about before. It scared me a bit. It scared me that I could have spent the last 4 years piecing my life back together and then hand you my heart all over again and you might crush it. You were spinning out and I could feel it happening and it was bad. I didn't want to be collateral damage."

"Alex, I told you-."

"Let me finish Pipes. Please. I was so wrapped up in how to protect my feelings in all of this that I lost sight of what I was most afraid of. Being away from you made me realise that losing you would be far worse than getting my heart broken. Protecting myself from my feelings for you would end up with me losing you and that would be worse than giving you my heart again and letting you crush it."

"I wouldn't do that. I couldn't. It was the hardest thing I've ever done to walk out on you like that and it damned near broke me."

Piper moved to sit next to Alex on the sofa and brought their hands together, entwining their fingers.

"So here's the thing I learned. Being away from you for 3 weeks is worse than going cold turkey from drugs. Especially when you're sleeping in my bed and sending me photos like that." Alex raised her eyebrow. "I want to be with you and I want to be there for you." She squeezed Piper's hand. "Did you think about us?"

"Every day. Every hour of every day. Ask Polly." Piper chuckled.

"I hadn't understood just how much I needed you. You're the first person I want to call when I've got good news and the first I want to talk to when it's bad. You're the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep at night and the first thought when I wake up. I know now that I've been a shitty girlfriend to you. No, I know it Alex." She shook her head, dismissing Alex's protestations. "I forgot that this is hard for you to understand and it's so much new shit that I know now that this was overwhelming. It's a lot to deal with and I'm a mess sometimes. I need you Alex, but more than that I want to be with you more than anything. The whole fucking world can crumble down around me if you're holding my hand." Piper searched Alex's eyes and both of them were holding back tears now.

"Whew. This is deep." Alex laughed a little, shaking her head to clear her emotions a little.

"Yeah….. I've really missed you Al. Like way more than is healthy quite frankly. I think I could be a stalker ex for real."

"Well, if you ever need a reference for your resumé…."

"I don't want to be anyone else's ex-girlfriend." Piper released Alex's hand and moved her fingers beneath the brunette's chin to pull her face closer. "I don't want to be yours either." Alex smirked at the confession. "Unless you want me to carry on stalking you, I suggest you relieve me of my position." Alex moved her fingers into blonde hair and moved so their lips were almost touching.

"Consider yourself fired, effective immediately." She smiled and pressed their lips together with such force that she pushed Piper back into the sofa with the intensity as she began to explore her mouth with her tongue.


	79. Chapter 79

**A/N: I'm going on holiday this week to the wilds of Scotland so there will be no writing until I'm back in October. THIS my dear readers is my gift to you as I'm pushed out of the door with my bags. I'm hoping for oodles of reviews and / or ice cream to be waiting for me when I get back...Enjoy ;-)**

They were laid along the length of the sofa, Alex propping herself up with an elbow as she leaned down to kiss Piper's neck, just beneath her ear.

"Mmmm, you smell so good."

Piper hummed and ran her hand up along the lithe body lying on top of her. "I think I would be a bad advert for my own company if I didn't."

"Like, really, really good." Alex nuzzled her nose into the blonde hair on the cushion before moving back to the flawless skin along her neck and kissing her again. Leaning back slightly, she stroked her index finger along Piper's jaw as she spoke again.

"You know, after you left Paris….I could smell you on our bed sheets. I refused to let housekeeping change them and pulled the covers back all the time as though it might keep a part of you in there for me to be close to." Alex could feel Piper's gaze on her as she spoke, but she avoided her piercing blue eyes and watched her fingertip trace over the angular features of the woman beneath her.

"Eventually, it faded. Of course it would. I was sleeping with it so much your scent became mine and I searched high and low for anything that might have it. You'd packed everything though. Not a single trace of you remained."

Piper reached up to lift Alex's eyes to meet hers. "I'm sorry."

"It was just a memory. When I came home last night and got in my bed, I could smell you again. I got that same sense of wanting to somehow keep it there." Alex shook her head. "It's weird that I get that feeling from smelling you….. Like I need to savour it."

"Because you're worried about me leaving?" Piper stroked the curtain of dark hair that obscured Alex's face behind her ear tenderly.

"I don't know. I guess. Just….don't get freaked out if I'm constantly inhaling you OK?" Alex smiled, a little embarrassed at her sudden confession.

"I won't…..I like it actually…It's cute." Piper tapped the end of Alex's nose with her finger to punctuate the description.

"Cute? Really?!" Alex sat back on her haunches and moved her hands to Piper's ribs to tickle her.

"Alex no…..don't go there Alex…..ALEX!" Piper wriggled to try and get free as Alex tickled her.

"What, you want more?... You still think I'm cute?... How about now?"

"Argh! Alex!...I give up, I give up! My poor ribs!" Piper gasped.

"Who's the winner?"

"You are!" Piper shrieked as Alex poked her in the ribs once more.

"That's right toots!" Alex grinned as she leaned down to kiss Piper again. Her lips were stopped with Piper's finger before they reached their intended destination. Piper wriggled to sit up opposite her now.

"Did you just…did you just call me 'toots'?" She raised an eyebrow and a smirk spread across her face. "Oh, that's so CUTE!" Piper batted her eyelashes and leapt up off the sofa.

"It's not a pet name, don't get excited!" Alex shouted after her as she disappeared to the bathroom. She shook her head at how the night had turned out. It had been scary being so open about their feelings, but she felt like a weight had been lifted. She looked at the time and saw it was getting late. Not wanting Piper to leave, she also didn't want to presume that she might stay either. It's not like they really planned any of this. Picking up the glasses and the rest of the wine, she put them in the kitchen as Piper returned.

"Listen, I can get you a cab if you need to get back home. We've both drunk too much wine to be driving, so….."

"You want me to leave?" Piper's eyebrows quirked up.

"No….I really want you to stay. I just didn't want to assume anything…." Alex struggled to find the right mix of words to let Piper know she was under no obligation or expectation to stay the night. "Let me start this again…" Alex pulled Piper towards her by her hips and kissed her on the lips before leaning back a little.

"Pipes, would you like to stay with me tonight?"

"You mean 'Pipes, will you sleep on my pillow so I can smell you for the rest of the week?" Piper chuckled before leaning in to capture Alex's lips with her own, pulling her lips across the brunette's lower lip and releasing it before doing the same again and pressing her mouth against Alex's as she pushed the taller woman back against fridge.

"Well, that would be an added bonus I'm not gonna lie." Alex spoke against Piper's mouth before Piper ran her tongue across her lips causing Alex to smile.

"I'm all for adding a bonus." The blonde's tone was much lower and she moved her hands just underneath the hem of the band shirt that Alex was wearing and barely scratched her nails briefly over her waist.

"Mmmmm. I don't need to call a cab then?" Alex rasped before she bent to run her lips along Piper's throat.

The hem of the t-shirt raised as Piper moved her hands higher to rake her fingertips with feather light touches over the smooth skin of Alex's ribs. "That depends on whether you want company." Piper moved her fingers up to run them over the sides of Alex's bra, moving them across the lace achingly close to where her nipples were doing an exceptionally poor job of hide and seek behind the sheer lace.

"I'm feeling quite sociable as it happens." Alex gasped a few octaves higher as she felt Piper rub her fingers over her nipples roughly. She reached down to catch Piper's wrist before things progressed any further (not that she wasn't aching for that already by this point). Leaning close to capture Piper's lips again in a series of short and wet kisses, Alex spoke against Piper's shallow breaths.

"Let's go to bed, shall we?"

Piper smiled, suddenly shy as she nodded and let Alex lead her by the hand and they headed up to her room.

"I haven't brought anything with me…" Piper looked around and sat on the bed as Alex went to get washed in her en-suite.

"You can use whatever you want of mine. There's already a toothbrush here for you and I have a sneaky suspicion you already know your way around my drawers to find yourself something to sleep in." Alex shouted back from the sink.

"It's not the same when the owner is home though."

"Oh, I get it." Alex came back into the room and reached for some sleep shorts and a vest top from her drawers. "You want to roleplay the masked intruder and I'm the shocked housewife who returns home early to find you sniffing my underwear, is that it?" Alex brought her hand to her chest in mock horror before she unfastened her jeans and shimmied them down her legs as Piper watched.

"You'd be a terrible housewife." Piper stuck her tongue out as she went into the bathroom to wash and change.

Alex laughed and went downstairs to pick up a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and lock everything up before coming back upstairs. Putting one by the bed and drinking from the other, she pulled the overs over her as Piper came back in. The blonde was wearing the same camisole set that she put on the other night when she took a photo and sent it to Alex.

"Mmmm, so hot." Alex groaned and put her water down as Piper switched the light off and walked to get into the bed. "And so mine." Alex quickly leaned over and pulled a squealing Piper to lie on top of her under the bed sheets.

Piper hummed in approval as she stroked the hair from Alex's face. "Beautiful again." Piper leaned down to peck her on the lips as Alex smiled back up at her, brushing her blonde hair back as it hung down to tickle her face.

"You OK?" Alex wanted to make sure she was comfortable with them lying together like this.

"Yeah. You?" Piper smiled nervously. She was suddenly very aware of their bare legs touching as they lay close to each other under the bed sheets.

"Never better." Alex looked into the depths of the ocean pools above her and sensed that Piper was really OK.

Piper pressed her lips together slowly and licked them before brushing them against Alex's, moving away when the brunette tried to capture her into a fuller kiss. Alex moved her hands down over the silky material covering Piper's ass and rested them there. "Still OK?" She rasped. Piper smiled and leaned down to nip at the right lobe of Alex's ear before breathing her reply. "Still OK…..Kiss me." Alex moved one hand up to push her fingers into the hair at the base of Piper's neck and pulled her lips towards her waiting mouth. Tenderness was pushed to the back of their minds as Piper pressed her lips harder still against Alex's, moaning as Alex swiped her tongue across them briefly as Piper moved herself to rest between Alex's legs. They fought for control of the kiss as Alex pushed her tongue inside Piper's mouth, moving to slide against the equally keen muscle that was seeking out it's partner in the tango with a sense of urgency that made them both breathless.

Alex ran her hand up and down the silky shorts that her partner was wearing, squeezing her ass every so often. She could feel Piper reacting to her touch and pressing herself a little more into the heated core between Alex's legs. As she felt Piper's pubic bone lightly nudging her clit through her own shorts, Alex broke away from the kiss to revel in the butterflies that the sensation sent to her belly. "Fuck." She whispered before going back to devouring the blonde's smirking lips. Piper altered her position slightly so her weight was rested on one side so she could move her hands down to massage the needy breasts of the woman writhing below her through her top.

"Mmmm, a perfect handful." Piper whispered into Alex's mouth as she gasped when Piper pinched her straining nipple quickly.

"Yes...you are." Alex panted back as Piper rubbed her fingers over the stiffened nub repeatedly. Alex was trying to keep her eyes open to watch Piper's movements and see that she was comfortable with everything they were doing. She only saw darkened desire in the azure eyes in front of her when she did and she dropped her head back onto the pillow, allowing her eyes to roll back into her head as Piper moved away from her lips and trailed down her neck before drawing her fingertips down the length of Alex's straining torso to the hem of her t-shirt. Suddenly aware that Piper had sat back from her a little, Alex quickly opened her eyes to check on the blonde.

"Are you OK?" Alex asked, concern creased into her brow, despite her shallow breaths as she sat up on her elbows a little.

"Yeah." Piper smiled as she reached out again and stroked her fingers underneath the hem of Alex's top. "I just wanted to take this off." She pushed the material up inch by torturous inch, enjoying the reveal of pale goose bumps along the taught stomach and contracting ribs of the woman beneath her. As she pushed it over her swollen breasts, they ached to be touched and Alex's nipples were begging to be caressed and teased with her tongue. Piper ran her thumbs over the top of them, focused on watching them react to her every touch and movement as Alex watched her through hooded eyes. The brunette was more than a little turned on at this point and the mix of lust-filled kisses with slow teasing was turning the heat up in the room to the point where Alex wanted to lose all barriers between them and spend the night with their bodies sweating together in entwined ecstasy. She was in enough control of her libido to be mindful of watching any cue that Piper was uneasy with anything they were doing and was happy to let the woman kneeling between her legs control the pace.

Piper's touch became gradually rougher as she palmed her breasts with more force and tweaked her nipples before leaning down to take one into her mouth and lave her tongue around the areola. Alex dropped her head back again, arching her back off the bed to press herself into Piper's warm mouth and whimpering when Piper slowed down and placed little kisses all around the underside of her breasts. Alex needed to touch Piper and sat up to push Piper upright again, smiling as she lifted her shirt over her head and dropped it by the side of the bed. She moved her hands to rest on Piper's hips and moved her thumbs in small circles up and down her hips towards her centre slightly while watching Piper before sliding her palms down to rest on her thighs.

"C'mere. I want to feel you." Alex gently pulled the backs of Piper's legs as the blonde followed her movements until she was straddling Alex's waist as they sat up in the bed. Alex brought her face toward her for a tender kiss, with Piper moving her hands into Alex's hair while wrapping her arms around her shoulders. Alex smiled into the kiss as she felt Piper pressing her core towards her stomach, so she began to run her hands up the camisole top towards Piper's perky breasts as their kiss deepened. Taking her time, Alex grazed her thumbs closer to the nipples that were already straining through the thin material. She pulled at the material of the top, drawing it across the sensitive peaks slowly as Piper moaned into her mouth. Their kissing became less frantic as both of them concentrated on the sensations that Piper was feeling from Alex's teasing. Eventually Alex moved her fingertips over the top of them, so quickly that Piper wasn't sure she hadn't been willing it so much she dreamed it. Feeling the blonde buck her centre against her, Alex turned things up a notch and moved her hands up to properly palm Piper's breasts fully now, squeezing them in her palms and catching the nipples between her fingers as she moved more quickly across the silk.

Alex broke the kiss to move her lips across Piper's jaw and up to her ear, where she quickly flicked her wet tongue near to her ear canal to increases the sensations when she whispered to her. "Do you want me to take this off?" She pulled slightly at the camisole top to reinforce the question.

"No…Kiss me again." Piper whispered back as she pulled the top down and Alex sensed the confidence was gone a little, berating herself a little for pushing things too much before gently sucking Piper's lips into her mouth tenderly. Her hands had dropped back to Piper's waist, an involuntary reaction to sensing Piper's hesitance, but a safe zone nonetheless. Piper moved to take hold of them and move them back up and onto her breasts. "I don't want you to stop."

"Are you sure?" Alex breathed, ready to stop everything if she heard it confirmed.

"I'm sure. Just pretend like that bit of silk isn't there and I'll be very sure." Piper's voice dropped lower at the end, reinforcing her want and Alex was buoyed by the feeling she got from it. Piper moved her hands to palm Alex's breasts roughly to go back to the heightened arousal that they were in only moments ago and Alex pushed her tongue into Piper's mouth again to make sure of it. After a few minutes, Alex pulled away to move her mouth down over Piper's breasts. She wet the material around her nipples enough that the sensation caused Piper to loll her head back, before Alex was gently biting them and licking the material again.

"Fuck Alex…..that feels sooo good." Piper mussed the dark hair through her fingers as she pulled Alex closer to her chest, searching for more. Her head was thrown back, pushing her erect nipples out as though they were seeking more contact themselves. Alex reached back and picked up a bottle of the cold water she got from the fridge earlier, rolling it across Piper's breasts and dragging the condensation covered plastic up against her swollen buds. As the ribbed moulding brought more friction to the movement and the cold droplets soaked into the silk, Alex became mesmerised by Piper's body reacting to the actions as she sucked on the other breast through lidded eyes. Piper was panting for more now and pressing herself against Alex for more contact on her sensitive tits as well as her throbbing core. Alex wanted to draw it out a little and make sure they both enjoyed the moment, quickly unscrewing the cap before pouring a generous glug into her mouth and spilling it over each of Piper's breasts.

"FUCK!" Piper cried out from shock as well as pleasure as Alex massaged the wet material over her straining tits and pinched the nipple before leaning back down to suck it into her mouth lustfully and run her teeth over them one at a time while her hand massaged the other.

"Oh my God Alex…." She bucked her hips again and gyrated them slightly against Alex's stomach as she sought more friction. Alex slowly laid back on the bed, moving her hands down to rest on Piper's thighs again. As the blonde opened her eyes to watch what her lover was doing, Alex moved her hands up the inside of her thighs gently, before running her fingertips back down. They held each other's eyes as Alex went a little higher each time. Before reaching a point where Piper got nervous, Alex smiled at her and took her hands in her own, moving them down her own stomach until they landed on her shorts.

"Take these off."

Piper smirked and moved to one side as she dragged her fingers up and down from Alex's stomach to mid-way down her thighs and back up again, brushing over Alex's hot centre each time. Finally she pushed her fingertips beneath the waist band and gently pulled the shorts down, revealing a smooth mound clenched between milky thighs. Pulling them all the way down, Piper dropped them at the side of the bed before moving back up to Alex on her hands and knees. "You. Are so fucking sexy." Piper blew across her nipples before sucking each one hard enough for Alex to cry out. "I'm gonna make you cum so hard…." Piper kissed up her neck towards her ear.

"Uh-uh." Alex halted her progress gently. "I know you're wet." She turned to look at Piper as she spoke. "I can feel it when you pressed your pussy against me. I want you to enjoy this just as much as I am."

Piper sighed. "Alex…..I _am_ enjoying it. And yes, I am fucking soaked right now. But I want you to cum."

"Cumming is not my number one priority tonight. Turning you on and feeling you take pleasure from my touch is. You have no fucking clue how much you turn me on when you're moaning my name and pressing yourself up against me." Alex stroked the hair from Piper's face and brought her closer again. "I'm so wet for you right now Pipes and I want to feel how wet you are too." Alex whispered and leaned up to kiss Piper on the lips briefly before dropping her head back onto the pillow. "Let me feel you. Put your leg over me and grind against my pussy." Alex rasped Piper's eyes fluttered closed for a second before the dark haired woman pulled her down for a searing kiss as she moved her hands along her thighs again. Lost in the moment and the adrenalin that was pulsing around mostly her pussy at this point, Piper moved her leg to straddle Alex. They held each other's eyes until the blonde pushed herself against Alex's pussy with her own and Alex closed her eyes to just feel.

"Fuck Pipes….oh my God…." She moved her hands to rest on Piper's hips, pulling the blonde down harder onto her core as she felt the juices soaking through the silky shorts that her lover was still wearing. Piper watched Alex's face, entranced by the ecstasy before her as her lips were parted and she panted through them as Piper moved her hips a little.

"You like that babe?" Piper rasped as she moved herself in small circles now, seeking greater friction herself. It felt so good to be this close to Alex and this was as intimate as she'd ever been with another person since she went to prison 2 years ago. It was the most pleasure she had derived from sex since she had last slept with Alex to be honest, but she tried to push the thoughts from her mind and keep in the moment.

"Yeah….keep doing that….oh yeah….right there…." Alex moaned as Piper pressed harder, taking her own pleasure from the motions. She was torn about what to do with her hands. She wanted to push her fingers in between their pussies and feel Piper's arousal with her hands. Knowing Piper wouldn't like that, she instead kept them gripped to Piper's hips or thighs as she sought to move the blonde to a rhythm that suited them both. She was so tightly coiled from a long time without having sex and the slow build-up of tonight that she knew it wouldn't take much for her to take her orgasm quickly. Instead, she focused on not pushing to that crescendo yet and trying to help Piper enjoy this. She saw that Piper's eyes were closed in deep concentration as she focused on the sensations and knew that touching the blonde's clit in a certain way would assist her to climax at this point. Knowing she shouldn't do that either was torture for Alex as she watched the frustration build on Piper's face at not getting any closer to the holy grail she was searching for. Worried that Piper might beat herself up about this, she stroked her hand up Piper's thigh and pulled the blonde down on top of her.

"I'm missing those hot lips of yours." Alex rasped as she kissed Piper tenderly and took Piper's hand to move it between their heated centres. They both moaned as Piper's fingers came into contact with the well of moisture that had gathered between Alex's legs and it took only a few strokes through her folds and flicks of her fingers before Alex was tensing up off the bed and clenching her thighs against Piper's hand as she came. Alex took a while to come down from her high and assisted Piper to continue grinding against her as she did.

"Are you OK?" Alex whispered into her hair as Piper continued to move against her sensitive centre.

"I can't…I want to Alex. I _really_ fucking want to." Piper sighed in frustration before rolling off Alex and lying on her back in obvious frustration.

"Hey. It's OK." Alex moved onto her side, propping her head up onto an elbow to look at the blonde beauty beside her. She stroked her fingers up and down Piper's torso and the blonde shivered after a minute.

"You want to change into another top?" Alex gestured toward the wet patches and smirked as Piper swatted her arm away from touching her breasts. "Not that I mind a wet t-shirt competition in my bed."

"Pervert. I might get some fresh shorts too if that's OK? These are just as wet, even without the fucking prize." Piper muttered as she went to get up.

"I'm obviously hurt that you aren't calling me the prize, but I'll let you off just this once." Alex winked, trying to lighten her mood a little.

Piper pulled a fresh set of sleep wear from the drawers and sighed again as she stopped in the doorway to the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, I'm ruining the post-sex smoke. I just….I really thought it would happen, you know? It always has before with you and I was so ready for that to happen tonight. And you were so good. You did everything I could have wanted. It isn't you, it's me. I'm fucking broken."


	80. Chapter 80

**A/N: Hey! Thanks for all the reviews and good wishes for my break. Scotland was wonderful (so are the accents...mmmm dreamy) - if you haven't been, I suggest you drop everything and go at once. I went to see the Fall leaves in New England this time last year and Scotland does rival that for scenery ;-) I'm back now- as spotted by the eagle-eyed readers who saw me posting a review on another fic LOL. Anyhow, I came home to find Laura Prepon got engaged to Ben Foster while I was climbing mountains...WTF?! It's OK, we still have Vauseman. Speaking of which...I've got a new chapter for you lovely people. Hope you're having a good week - soon be Friday guys :-)**

Piper closed the bathroom door behind her gently before leaning back against it, hands balled into fists as she fought the urge to either put her fist through something or cry. Alex had been so sweet, so tender with her tonight and there was no reason why she shouldn't have been able to reach that shuddering release that she had been craving. She had been so turned on by everything that had happened tonight and the throb between her legs was an unwelcome reminder of her unsated desires. No matter how much she closed her eyes and willed herself to relax, to focus on the feelings, to live in the moment, the release just wouldn't come. Now she would have to wait for the ache to subside while trying to hide her disappointment from Alex. Silent tears spilled over her cheeks as she stood against the door, clutching fresh bed clothes against her chest and trying to choke down the lump in her throat. She sniffed and wiped her cheeks as Alex knocked softly on the door.

"Pipes?...Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." Piper turned to run the cold water tap in the sink.

"Can I come in?"

"I said I'll be out in a minute!" Piper's tone let out some of the frustration and she leaned to splash her face with water before hearing Alex turn the door handle.

"Jesus Alex, you don't have to-."

Alex handed her a towel from the rail when the blonde turned to face her.

"You don't need to do this." Alex had pulled her sleep clothes back on and leaned against the door frame, regarding her cautiously.

"I'm not doing anything." Piper roughly wiped her face dry and turned the tap off, avoiding the green irises that were following her every move.

"Good. I'm glad you're not doing anything. Because for a second I thought you might be beating yourself up over not having an orgasm." Alex folded her arms and raised her brows, expecting an answer to something that clearly didn't need one.

Piper sighed as she put the towel down. "Can we not talk about this? I spend enough of my time in therapy." She squeezed past the brunette in the doorway and walked back to the bed.

Alex clenched her jaw before turning to follow the blonde and got under the covers. Piper was curled up with her back facing her and Alex waited for her to speak. After a few minutes of feeling the tension emanating from the fake relaxed pose her girlfriend was striking, Alex reached out to touch her shoulder. Seeing Piper jump at her touch, Alex immediately brought her hand back to her body as though she'd been scalded.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

Piper sighed deeply before turning onto her back and talking into the darkness. "You didn't. I just wasn't expecting it. I was in a world of my own."

"OK….Well, I would ask you what you were thinking about, but you clearly aren't in the mood for talking."

"Yet here you are, still talking."

"For Christ's sake, now we're arguing? Really?!"

"Turn over."

"What? Why?"

"Because I want you to. Just turn over and face the other wall."

"What the fuck Piper? What, are you punishing me for trying to _talk_ now? Face the wall like a naughty school kid? Fuck off, you're not telling me how to sleep in my own bed. _You_ turn over."

Alex's eyes were blazing as she glared at Piper from across the pillow. The blonde turned to face her quickly, the electric charge of their words and feelings cracking between them as their hearts raced. Alex could feel the warmth of Piper's breath as she searched her eyes for a clue as to where this was heading. In the past, Alex would have not missed a beat before rolling Piper beneath her with her thighs and pinning her to the bed, taking route number one to release the charge between them. There would have been nothing tender or slow about it. It would have been rough, fast and leave lasting imprints on each other's bodies. It would have lasted until they were both exhausted and tangled in the bed sheets. It would have worked past whatever argument had been brewing and released the palpable tension between them. Now it hung in the air, waiting to be channelled. To be used for good or bad. Potential energy they called it in science class. Alex clenched her fists into the sheets and waited for Piper to make the first move. She couldn't possibly anticipate where the blonde was heading right now and second guessing her could be a huge mistake. Piper continued to bore her blue eyes into Alex, her only muscles moving where the ones involved in inhaling and exhaling the small amount of air between them. It felt like an eternity had passed when Alex sensed that Piper was not going to move because her eyes were open and fixed on hers, but her mind was racing in a million different directions.

"Piper…" Alex spoke softly, dissipating the charge in the room to turn everything down a few notches.

Blue eyes flickered and blinked briefly as Alex reached out to stroke her blonde hair behind her ear.

"What's going on?"

Piper leaned in to kiss Alex on the lips. It wasn't gentle or slow, but it wasn't passionate or urgent either. It was…..different. It was seeking assurance that Alex was really there. She cupped her face tightly in her hands and pressed her lips into Alex's repeatedly. She pulled at the brunettes' lips, encouraging them to part in order that she could taste her and check another confirmation that she was indeed real. Alex was confused by the kiss and allowed Piper to move her mouth against her for a while before responding and moving her tongue towards Piper's mouth. No sooner had she reached the taste of her lips, when Piper stopped the kiss and pulled away.

"I don't know."

Alex had pretty much forgotten that she'd left a question in the air a few moments ago.

"I just need to hold you. That's all I wanted. Just to hold you and feel you against me, to know that you're here with me."

"I'm not going anywhere Pipes. We're in my bed, remember?" Alex was surprised by the sudden vulnerability and tried to make Piper smile by lightening the tone a little. It didn't even register with the blonde, who was memorising Alex's face with her eyes and fingertips.

"Pipes, you're scaring me now. Are you OK?" Alex reached out to still Piper's hand from stroking her cheek.

"No…But I will be. Can I hold you? I want to sleep like that tonight. Is that OK?" Piper manoeuvred herself into a slightly curled position on her side and gestured for Alex to do the same so she could spoon her. Alex was confused by what was going on, but she nodded and moved to lie in front of the blonde.

"If you don't want to talk to me about it, I do think you should talk to Julie at your next appointment." Alex lifted the arm that Piper had wrapped around her torso and kissed her fingers before putting it back and interlacing hers over the top of Piper's.

"I will….Night Alex." Piper kissed the top of the brunette's head and snuggled into her hair to signal that she didn't want to communicate any more. She just wanted to feel Alex next to her and the comfort that it brought soon sent her into a restful sleep.

XXXXX

Alex's body clock was not quite settled back into the right time zone yet and she was awake before Piper on Sunday morning. She watched the blonde resting peacefully for a while before getting up to make some coffee and bringing it back to bed. She settled to read a book as Piper stirred and snuggled into her side. Alex kissed the top of her head before turning the page and Piper continued to doze for another half hour against her before Alex moved her position and woke her.

"Mmmm, time is it?" Piper rubbed her eyes and stretched her legs out.

"Just gone 8. You want some coffee? I was going to make another."

"Yes please. Toast too?" Piper creased one eye open to see if Alex was going to give in to her cheeky demands. She was soon covered in a robe as Alex got up and threw one over her head by way of a reply.

"If you're making for both of us, that would be great, thanks."

"Ugh. I'm supposed to be the guest." Piper sat up and puller her arms into the robe as Alex pulled a hoodie on. "Is that all you're wearing?" Piper looked up and down Alex's long and bare legs appreciatively.

"No. I was going to drop you at the store actually so I'll pull some jeans on. You are still working today I take it?"

"FUCK! Oh God, I don't have a change of clothes with me either!" Suddenly a lot more awake, Piper staggered out of the bed and ran into the bathroom.

"Get something out of my closet and I'll assume _I'm_ doing the toast as well as the coffee while you get dressed." Alex shook her head as she went down to the kitchen, the sound of Piper's swearing fading out behind her.

It was as though last night never happened. Well, as though the part where Piper went to the bathroom and came back a different version of herself didn't happen at least. She was back to normal this morning, whatever that meant these days. When Alex had been awake this morning, she mulled over the events of the previous night and reminded herself that it was going to be a long road for them to get things fitting together again. It couldn't be the same as it used to be and she was really struggling to wrap her head around that. Sometimes, it was all too easy to pick up where they left off those years ago when things were good between them. Other times, a grenade came out of nowhere and Alex was second guessing how she should react. Without sex to work out their emotions and communicate through their bodies, it was like learning a whole new language.

XXXXX

Alex dropped Piper at the store before calling to a café for a food-shaped peace offering for Nicky when she was bound to be waking her up by calling around at this time on a Sunday. Nicky's grumpiness was slightly assuaged by the brown bag Alex held up as she answered her front door.

"There had better be a lot of bacon in there beanstalk." Nicky grabbed the bag and turned to walk back inside, leaving Alex at the door. "Get the fuck inside then. You don't pay me enough to heat every street in New York!" She shouted over her shoulder as Alex chuckled before closing the door behind her.

"And you don't pay for _anything_. I take it you're home alone?"

"You think I'd have even entertained answering the door if there was anything with a pulse in my bed right now?"

"You're getting picky Nicholls. They have to have a pulse these days." Alex dropped onto the sofa with her coffee.

"At least you brought your own food and drink. Nice touch."

"Yeah, I never expect to get fed by you. I think that fridge might be an empty box for decoration because you never open it."

"I'm guessing you're here because you missed me and couldn't wait one more day to see me all day at work in the morning?"

"That's exactly the reason."

"Knew it." Nicky grinned and tucked into the bacon toastie she pulled from the brown bag. They talked about Alex's trip and a bit about what it would mean for the business before Nicky stopped her.

"I'm not getting paid to listen to this today you know. I thought this was a social visit?"

"Sorry. Can't help it. How's things with you?"

"Boring as fuck. Poussey's seeing this new girl and can't go anywhere without her at the moment. Taystee's the same with that giant basketball player and Lorna is all loved up with this Christopher guy."

"Ah, yeah. You borrowed my girlfriend to quadruple date at bowling the other night."

"So she's your girlfriend now?" Nicky smirked.

"Yeah." Alex drank her coffee to hide her blush from Nicky.

"So you're loved up too."

"No! It's not like that." Alex shrugged.

"Sure it is. She's crazy about you, you know that right?"

Alex laughed. "Crazy, yes. About me, sometimes."

"She was pretty crazy about you while you were away you know. She was pretty messed up when you sent her that letter as well Vause." Nicky was being serious and it made Alex squirm in her seat a little at the mention of that letter.

"Well, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? I should fucking know." Alex finished her coffee and stood to put the cup in the trash.

"You still love her don't you?"

It took a couple of beats before Alex decided to answer honestly as she walked back to the sofa.

"Yeah, I do."

"That's how they say it in the movies when the hero's love interest dies. Aren't you meant to say it with a goofy grin or something?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Have I been away so long you're watching romcoms now?"

"Yeah. We're watching Dirty Dancing later and I want to practice the lift with you."

"Only if I can be Johnny. You're not tall enough to touch the bottom of the lake without drowning anyway."

"So you _have_ watched it! A bit further up that Kinsey scale than I thought aren't you Vause?"

"Hell no. It's one of Piper's favourite movies. She's made me watch it more times than I will ever admit to."

"Chapman must have some kind of magic pussy to make you do that shit. You want to share it?"

Alex screwed her face up and rolled her eyes. "Dream on Nicholls."

"Oh I've dreamed it. Just the other night I had this dream-."

"Do NOT tell me you're having dirty dreams about my girlfriend. That is creepy as fuck and doesn't need to be shared."

"I bet Chapman wouldn't mind one bit. I bet she'd love to hear about it in fact." Nicky waggled her eyebrows.

Alex made Nicky go and get dressed so they could go and get lunch and some beers to chill out in front of the TV later. It was good to kick back and relax a bit and they both enjoyed a night in and some banter.

XXXXX

Alex was in work early on Monday, conscious that she had a lot to catch up on with the office refurbishment and sharing the news of the new contracts with everyone. She called a meeting for lunch time to tell everyone about her trip and the new work they had coming their way. Everyone was excited about it and there was a real buzz about everyone as they went back to work after a pizza lunch ordered in by Alex as a little thank you.

She'd been giving some thought to what Piper had said about needing more specialist expertise to help her run everything and sat with Nicky and Lorna to talk about it. They decided to look into north east universities who offered logistics degrees and see whether there was an opportunity for placements or getting involved in graduate employment partnerships. They still needed people to be answering the calls for standard day to day delivery runs, but Alex wanted to leave Brooke and Tricia with Piper for a little longer to see how they all got on. The office just needed new flooring putting down and a final coat of paint on the walls, before the furniture could be moved into place. It was looking more like a real office space every day.

Piper called at lunch time to invite her over for take out at her place, so Alex made sure she wasn't going to end up working too late. She knocked on the door at 7pm with an overnight bag in her hand.

"Hey you." Piper opened the door and leaned down to peck her on the lips before glancing at the luggage. "A bit presumptuous aren't you?"

"Confident more like." Alex smirked and brushed past her in the doorway.

"Are they clothes or have you brought your own kitchen utensils?" Piper closed the door and walked to the kitchen.

"Am I supposed to be cooking tonight? I thought you said take out?" Alex shrugged her coat off and hung it up before following Piper into the kitchen.

"It's take out night. But I will remember that offer for another night."

"When Mr Dolmio isn't around?" Alex stood behind the blonde and wrapped her arms around her waist, bending to nuzzle her neck.

"Mmm-hmm. Keeping my options open." Piper leaned into Alex's embrace and ran her hands over the top of the warm arms holding her.

"I prefer it when some of your options are closed." Alex husked into her ear as she ran her hands higher up Piper's stomach.

Piper hummed her agreement as she reached back to push her hand into the dark hair that was tickling her neck. "I've missed you."

"You saw me yesterday." She chuckled in reply.

"I didn't see you last night. You didn't call either." Piper turned to stroke her thumbs over Alex's cheeks.

"I was with Nicky. Anyway, I thought we were trying to take things slowly?" Alex turned her face to kiss Piper's palm against her cheek.

"Is bringing an overnight bag 'taking things slowly'?"

"I can go home tonight. I brought it just in case. I'm not pressuring anything."

Piper dropped her hands and sighed. "I didn't mean that. It was a joke. I want you to stay Al." Alex stroked her hands up Piper's arms.

"OK, we can do that then. Or I can go home later. Whatever you want."

"I want you to stay." Piper leaned up to kiss her again. "Stay with me tonight." She kissed her softly. "I want you to."

Alex smiled as she stroked the loose hair away from Piper's face. "If you insist."

"I do." Piper smiled before kissing her again and pulling away. "We need to order food…" She turned to look for the menu and busied herself noting the options while Alex got a cold beer and walked into the lounge.

"I see you got your photo frame fixed. I said I'd cover that remember? Is there anything else I broke?"

"It's fine. It was only a couple bucks. You've done enough already." She walked through to the lounge to flick the TV on. "Take out will be here in 10 minutes. Can I get you another beer?"

"Yeah, thanks. Aren't you having one?"

"No. I'm trying to keep off it this week. I can't trust myself not to drink more than I should. I'm focusing on the gym workouts instead."

"Why?"

"The court case."

"Ah, OK. Good idea. Have you heard how it's going?"

"No. I was going to sit in on it some time this week and see how it was going."

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

"It might help me prepare when it comes to my turn to take the stand. If I can see how it all works I mean." Piper shrugged and went to get another bottle popped open.

"But it might make you more worried as well. Are any of the other witnesses taking the stand this week?"

"Yeah, I think they are but I don't know if it's this week…I think they are starting with him…." She finished quietly.

"Pipes, I really don't think you should go to see any of the other witness testimonies. And especially not listen to anything that arrogant bastard has got to say." Alex drained the rest of her bottle before banging it onto the coffee table with a little more force than necessary. There was a knock at the door and Piper went to pay for the take out before coming back to the conversation.

"I know what you're saying. I really do. I just can't help but wonder whether seeing how the other witnesses get on will help me to be better with my own testimony."

"Your Lawyer should be coaching you for that." Alex helped Piper plate up their food and they moved to the dining table. "Piper…..listen to me. I don't want you to go and sit in on the other days you're not needed." Piper avoided her eyes, which told her she didn't want to hear the reasoning. "And if you absolutely insist on going….well, make sure someone is there with you. I'll come with you, OK?"

"I haven't decided on anything at the moment. It was just an idea. Thanks though." She smiled and touched Alex's arm before going back to her food.

XXXXX

Piper was up early the next morning for her run with Pete. They managed 4k around the riverside route and she was really starting to feel her fitness returning. They were warming down when Pete asked about the presentation they had planned for the investment.

"I think we're finished with it. It's just tinkering now, but the content is all there and the samples are ready. Why?"

"It's just that Polly seems really tetchy at the moment. She's always got her head in that presentation folder and she just seems really preoccupied with the whole thing. It's not like her, you know?"

"She seemed OK at work yesterday, but she was out most of the day with the supplier. You want me to talk to her?"

"No. Sorry Piper. Forget I said anything. I just got the impression that you're not stressing out over this like she is."

"She's probably just nervous. It's a big deal for us to get an online store up as well as run the store here. I don't know. Maybe she knows more about where we stand financially if it doesn't happen. I leave the books to her, so maybe I'm a little blinkered from it."

"Could be. You're probably right. Forget I said anything will you?"

"Forgotten already." Piper smiled as they walked the streets back to her place.

When she got inside, Alex was whisking something in a pan and looked up as the door closed.

"Hey. Are you hungry? I've got scrambled eggs with your name on them."

"Mmm. Yes please. Have I got time for a shower first?"

"Yeah. You want to Skype me while you're in there?"

"Ha ha. No thanks. I'll leave the door open though, OK?"

"Just so we're clear….That wasn't you inviting me into the shower with you was it?"

Piper's eyes flickered in recognition of Alex checking the boundaries were secure. "It wasn't. Just me, myself and I today."

"Sounds like a party. Call me if any of you need anything." Alex chuckled before pouring herself a fresh cup of coffee and checking her phone.

Piper got undressed in her room and walked to the bathroom in her robe. She was sure that Alex wouldn't walk in on her, but it would be the first time she had left the door open while anyone else was in the house.

XXXXX

By Wednesday, Piper and Polly were ready for their presentation and on their way in Polly's car to the office block where their appointment would be. They had discussed whether to leave Brooke and Tricia to run the store on their own, but opted to keep it closed for the morning to be on the safe side. Lorna opted to show them around the NY Logistics offices for a half day and show them where they would be working once the construction work was done, so it was fine. Piper was nervous about meeting their investor for the first time and Polly also seemed more nervous than usual.

"Are you sure you don't want to just go and open up the store P? I mean, it might be overkill both of us being here you know?"

"What happened to you wanting me to be involved in this kind of stuff more? We are an equal partnership remember? It's about time I started to take on more stuff like this and not leave it to you. I have to learn sometime right?"

"Yeah…..But with the court case and everything….You've got so much on your mind already you know?"

"You think I can't handle it?"

"I didn't say that. I'm just offering you a way out of this nerve wracking presentation is all."

"I am crapping myself right now, I'm not gonna lie. But I can do this."

"You could wait outside and I'll call you in if I need you?" Polly offered weakly.

"What is going on with you? Do you think I'm going to fuck this up for us or something?" Piper was getting angry at Polly's persistent offers to let her bail out.

"No! I was just thinking only one of us needs to go through this."

"We're doing it TOGETHER Pol. Not up for discussion."

Piper looked out of the window, trying to concentrate on the pitch that she had been practising all week and memorise the key points she wanted to make. Polly kept under the speed limit all the way until she pulled into a parking space in a small industrial area on the outskirts of the city.

"Well this doesn't look like somewhere a millionaire would be locating her offices. Are you sure we've got the right address Pol? I'm already feeling overdressed in this place."

"Yeah, I put the address into my phone. This is definitely it."

"Looks like our investor might have fallen on some hard times." Piper checked her make up in the mirror before climbing out of the car. She straightened the black pencil skirt she was wearing and tucked her white blouse into the waistband before putting her black suit jacket on to finish the look.

Polly walked around the car with her box of the samples they brought with them and smiled at Piper as they came around the corner.

"Are you OK Pol? You look a little pale? Have you eaten breakfast?"

"I'm OK. Just nervous I guess."

"Alright. Let's go then shall we?"

They walked into the reception area where Polly went to let the girl of the desk know that they were here for an appointment. Piper took a seat in the waiting area, rearranging her files so she knew where everything was. Polly sat next to her and they waited to be called.

"You happy with the plan? I start the pitch and you do the second bit to talk through the new range?" Piper asked as she saw Polly's legs jigging up and down, bouncing the contents of the box around.

"Yeah. Fine."

"Do you want me to do this on my own? You seem really anxious…."

"No, no….I'll be fine." She glanced over at the reception desk, where the girl was replacing the handset of the phone and walking over to see them.

"OK ladies, we're ready for you now. If you'd like to follow me, I'll show you to the meeting room."


	81. Chapter 81

**A/N: I know you've been waiting for this and thanks for the prompts checking for a pulse - still alive! Sorry it's taken longer than usual to post, I've just been crazy busy. To be fair though, Laura Prepon has only posted a photo of vegetables since my last update and she has a whole PR team... On the plus side, over 300 Follows and this chapter takes the story over 300,000 words. I was tempted to post when we reached 1,000 reviews, but it could have quickly escalated to an angry pitch-fork wielding mob if I waited longer still! Not one person has guessed correctly in the reviews about the Investor meeting, so I'm happy to solve the mystery here now. Enjoy your weekend everyone :-)**

"Piper! Wait a minute will you?"

Piper pushed the office door with so much force it banged against the wall and flew back to close behind her. Her strides were long and there was no way Polly could catch her without breaking into a breathless jog.

"Will you just listen for a minute?!" Polly caught the blonde's arm and tried to stop her, but Piper shook her off forcefully without even stopping.

"Can you give me a chance to explain?" Polly shouted to her as she realised she wasn't going to be able to stop her friend from tearing past. She sighed and held her palm to her forehead as she stopped in the car park, watching Piper storming out of it and down the street out of sight. "Jesus fucking Christ." Throwing her hands into the air, she turned to go and pick up the pile of presentation folders and samples they had left in the meeting room.

She opened the outer door and smiled apologetically at the girl behind the front desk. "She's…ugh…not great with surprises."

"Must have been one Hell of a surprise."

XXXXX

Piper wasn't even thinking about how she might get home or where she was heading when she left the building. She just needed to put as much distance between her and that meeting as physically possible. If there'd have been an airplane waiting outside, she would have written a check for any amount to fill the tank to the top and fly until it was empty.

The wind was whipping around her and her heels were stopping her from moving as quickly as she wanted to. She bent down to pull them off her feet so that she could walk faster along the uneven sidewalk. The blood was coursing around her body, thick with adrenaline and white hot rage at what had just happened. She'd travelled a couple of blocks when she had to wait at lights to cross the road. Polly's car pulled up next to her and beeped, her so-called friend waving at her from inside to catch her attention. Piper scowled and turned away, assessing whether she'd make it between the moving traffic to escape before the 'walk' light freed her from Polly getting any closer.

"Piper! You can't walk home from here. I'll give you a ride. We're miles away from anything." Polly had the window down and was shouting through it as she drove slowly along the road as Piper tried to walk further down the sidewalk.

"Will you acknowledge that I'm talking to you please? It's raining for God's sake and you haven't even got your purse to catch a cab. Fucking stop will you?!"

Piper suddenly realised that her coat and bag were in Polly's car and she was going to get soaked if she didn't get them. Clenching her jaw at the fact she would have to walk to the car, she turned and glared at Polly as she approached.

"Thank you. Will you just listen to me please? Just as long as the drive home takes is all I ask."

"We are NOT talking about this. THIS is not us talking." Piper waved her hand in the space between them. "I need my things." She opened the car door and pulled her coat out, putting her arms into the sleeves as Polly cut the engine.

"Piper please. Don't lose your shit over this. I was going to tell you-."

"Oh well that's fine then. If you were going to tell me at some point before you died of old age, at least you were _going_ to tell me eventually."

"I know I should have told you sooner."

"You _think?_!"

"Look, I know you're mad at me right now…."

"Mad doesn't come close! Leave me the Hell alone while I process exactly how fucked up this is." She grabbed her bag and slammed the car door shut before running across the road and down between a couple of old buildings where Polly couldn't follow in the car.

She brought up location services on her phone to see where the Hell she was and if there was a subway station anywhere near where she was. Seeking shelter beneath a porch cover in the alley, she waited for the signal, only to find that the tall buildings all around her were bouncing the signal all over.

"What is the point of location services if they only work when you have half a clue where you are?" She muttered as someone pushed past her to head into the building behind her. She turned to make a comment about manners when she realised she was standing outside of a dive bar. "Or maybe this is exactly where I need to be right now."

XXXXX

Polly got home and threw her keys on the table before dropping onto her sofa and rubbing her face. "Argh, why does this have to happen right now?!" She tried to call Piper's phone yet again but it was going straight to voicemail. She'd already left messages to cover the full range of human emotions, from grovelling apologies to angry demands for a returned call, so she hung up when Piper's happy voice clicked in for the hundredth time.

She decided it was time to call Alex. It wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to, but she couldn't put it off with the way Piper had reacted. Yet another voicemail. Does nobody understand the whole point of mobile phones making people more accessible?

"Alex, it's me, Polly. We need to talk about Piper. Can you call me as soon as you get this message please? She's…um…well, just call me OK." Polly dropped her phone into her bag just as Pete came through the door in his work overalls.

"Oh, hey. I wasn't expecting you to be home at this time."

"Yet another person thrilled to see me today."

"Huh? Of course I'm happy to see you darl, I just wasn't expecting you til late. How was the meeting?" He kissed her on the head and went to drop his bag by the porch before washing his hands in the kitchen.

"A disaster."

"They wouldn't give you the money?"

"We didn't get that far. It blew up before we got as far as the check book."

"Shit…..You spent a lot of time on that babe. What happened?" Pete shrugged his overalls off and hung them by the door.

"I obviously spent too much time on the wrong things."

"You couldn't answer their questions?"

"It's Piper's questions I can't answer. What a mess…I'm going to run a bath babe. I need to chill out a bit." Polly stood and kissed Pete quickly before heading to the bathroom and running the hot water.

XXXXX

Piper had two tequila shots before the strange looks got the better of her and she headed to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Her mascara had run all around her eyes and her hair was plastered to her face, making her look like an extra from a horror movie. "What a catch." She gathered tissues from the dispenser and tried to at least clean her face up before shaking her hair out and tying it back into a tight pony. Returning to sit at the bar, she shrugged her coat onto the stool next to her and pushed the sleeves of her jacket up as she leaned onto the bar to catch the attention of the bar tender.

"Can I get a double vodka and diet coke please?"

"My advice would be to think about it for another 5 minutes sweetheart." He winked at her and nodded towards the clock.

"I don't need to think about it. I just told you what I want. Are you going to serve me or not?" Piper eyeballed him. He grinned and walked to put a pile of clean glasses away down the opposite end of the bar.

"Why does everyone think they know better than me about what I want?" Piper slammed her palm on the bar. The bar tender threw his towel to the side and sighed, walking back towards the blonde gathering her coat to leave.

"Hey, I was trying to halve your bill there. It's happy hour in a few and my boss watches the timings like a hawk. You look like you're in for a session and I thought I'd do you a favour. Sorry." He held his hands up and pointed to the vodka. "I'll start pouring shall I?"

"Ugh. Sorry. Shitty day. I didn't mean to be so rude."

"It's OK. I can't tell you outright because he's watching from the table behind you. You kind of look like you've had a rough one though. Hope you don't mind me saying."

"No, I don't. I'll have that double as soon as the clock hits the hour though, thanks."

XXXXX

Alex had been in meetings with her Lawyer all day and picked up her voicemails when she was walking back to the car. There was one from Lorna to say that one of their new drivers had been involved in a collision, but he wasn't seriously hurt. Alex listened to the message and called her back to check that their insurance would cover the damage and take care of any remaining deliveries. She was reassured it was all in hand though as Lorna had already made the calls to report everything and Poussey had picked up the packages to finish off his round already. She was back at her car by the time she put the phone down to Lorna and switched to hands free as she drove back towards the office, listening to the rest of her messages. Red wanted to talk to her about extending the return to work programme to somewhere new. She had more than enough ex-cons to keep her busy at the moment and she had decided to follow Piper's advice to get some qualified staff in the more skilled roles. She needed to focus on that at the moment before she drowned in trying to handle too much herself. The last message was a cryptic one from Polly, and Alex returned her call as she locked the car and headed up to her office.

"It's Alex. Just got your message. I've been-."

"Piper's gone AWOL. Maybe to a liquor store. Maybe to a gun store quite honestly." Polly sighed.

"What? Piper's against the common people having guns, so I doubt very much she'd be going to a store full of them. Unless it was a project with the debating society." Alex chuckled at the thought as she waved at Nicky before pointing to the phone and heading into her office to close the door.

"This isn't a joke Alex. She freaked out at the meeting today."

"Why?" Alex shrugged her coat off and dropped her laptop onto her desk.

"Because….She knows Alex."

"She knows….? Knows what Polly? What exactly have you told her?" Alex creased her brow as she waited for Polly to reply.

"I didn't tell her anything…..And that's a good chunk of the reason she stormed out of the meeting and disappeared on me."

"What?! Where is she?"

"I don't know. She won't answer her phone."

"Why didn't you go after her?!"

"Don't you think I tried? She wouldn't listen to me Alex and she disappeared down an alleyway where I couldn't follow in the car."

"Jesus Christ. Where was she?"

"We were up near Yonkers for the meeting."

"Is she still there?"

"I don't know. Like I said, she disappeared on me and won't answer her phone."

"Have you tried her at home?"

Alex went through a series of questions that frustrated Polly more and more and got her no closer to working out where Piper might be.

"Look, she's got her coat and money, so she can get a cab if she needs to. She probably just needs to blow off some steam and get some space."

"Right. Well, I seem to remember you telling me that when she's pissed, space and time alone are the last things she should be getting. You do remember that conversation? Exactly how pissed is she?"

"Very pissed."

"Pissed enough to be drinking vodka?"

Polly paused. "Yeah, pissed enough for that."

Alex stood up again and started pulling her coat back on, cradling the handset between her jaw and shoulder. "She could be anywhere Polly. Can you make a guess to narrow it down? I'll try and call her. She might answer me."

"I doubt it. I don't think she'll be picking up tonight for either of us."

"Well, I'll drive over to her place then. She might be home now." She switched the office light off and covered the phone to explain to Nicky that she had to go somewhere before heading down the stairs. "Call me if you hear anything. I'm getting in the car now."

Alex tried Piper's number and waited for the 'leave a message' speech to finish as she switched to hands free and started the engine.

"Pipes, it's me. I just wanted to know how the meeting went today. Holly said she doesn't know where you are and I'm just heading over to your place now. Call me when you get this will you?"

She drove to Piper's front door and knocked a few times, despite seeing the place in darkness. She hadn't thought about the potential for Plan C to come into play, so when calling Piper's cell and turning up at her front door was returning zero points, she was flummoxed for the next option. Drive around Yonkers in the dark and hope she might spot the blonde on the run at a stop sign? Where else might she go in New York? Would she call the gym instructor who had the hots for her? Alex considered finding the gym, if only to be reassured that this Jess person was at work and not working over her girlfriend.

XXXXX

Piper was turning a third double vodka and coke around in her fingers when she sensed someone sit beside her at the bar.

"Hey, can I get a beer please?"

Piper's head twisted to the side when she heard the familiar voice of her girlfriend calling to the bartender. Alex was shaking off her wet jacket and wiping the rain from her face as she turned to raise an eyebrow in brief salutation.

"How did you find me?" Her voice was a cool mix of resignation and frustration at being found before she was done with her self-help session.

"Call it intuition." Alex shrugged as she moved Piper's coat from the stool to sit down, taking the bottle from the bar tender as she settled. "I'm assuming you have a tab open?" Alex nodded to the large drink in Piper's hand.

"Yep." She took a couple of good glugs, as though Alex might take it off her if she didn't empty it first.

Alex took a swig of her beer and reached down the bar to pick up a sticky laminated menu, moving her eyes over the pitiful and very obvious bar meal options. Piper gestured for another drink of the same and still Alex hadn't looked up from the menu.

"I'm not hungry."

"Have you eaten?"

"No. I'm not hungry though."

"When did you last eat something?"

"What business is it of yours?! I said I'm not hungry." Piper's tone was strained and Alex returned to the menu.

"OK. Well I'm going to have a burger." Alex stood and walked to the counter near the kitchen to order. Piper watched her all the way and quickly turned to regard the sports game on the TV when Alex walked back.

Getting her phone from her back pocket, Alex swiped it open and started tapping out a text to let Polly know she had found her safe and sound.

"What are you doing here?" Piper didn't look at her as she spoke, but watched the bubbles pop to the surface of her drink.

"You got here first. You tell me."

"It's a free country."

"That it is." Alex sent her message and put her phone back into her pocket before lifting her beer for another mouth full.

They sat in silence, watching a ball game neither of them had any interest in until Alex's meal arrived.

"I must be fucking starving if this seems appetising when I'm sober." Alex mused as she cut her burger in two with a knife and picked up a half to bite into it. She signalled for the bar tender to come over and swallowed the burger down to get another drink.

"Diet coke this time buddy. You want the same again?" She nodded at Piper's nearly empty glass.

"Yeah."

Alex went back to eating her food, watching the game as though Piper was a complete stranger sitting next to her.

"Are you really going to sit there drinking coke while I get drunk?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"I'm going to sit here drinking coke because I'm driving you home. It's up to you if you're getting drunk."

Piper sighed. "Did it occur to you that I might not want a lift home from you?"

"Do you?"

"No Alex, I don't. I don't want a ride from you. I don't want you controlling every fucking thing about my life!"

"A bit dramatic."

"You think I'm being _dramatic_? Well I think you're a lying bitch who couldn't tell me the truth if your life depended on it!"

"Do you care to explain that?" Alex wiped her hands on a napkin and turned to face the blonde who was glaring at her.

"I'm so sick of this. I'm sick of thinking you might have changed. That you're being honest with me, then finding you're still keeping secrets from me Alex."

Alex's eyes were flitting back and forth over Piper's face for a clue that this might be a joke, then searching for a clue as to what the Hell this outburst was all about.

"Oh don't act like you're so damned innocent. You must have known I'd find out sooner or later when I was meeting with the mysterious ' _investor_ ' today."

The brunette's eyebrows were knitted together in confusion.

"You had plenty of opportunities to tell me before I found out from someone else. What makes it worse is that you were scheming behind my back with Polly all this time. I can't trust either of you!" Piper finished her drink and stood to pull her coat on, stumbling slightly as the alcohol rushed around her bloodstream fuelled with adrenaline. Alex reached out to steady her and her arm was swiped away by Piper as she walked to the door.

"Piper! I honestly don't know what the Hell you're talking about. Will you sit back down and tell me what you're so pissed at?"

The door swung shut behind the blonde as she exited the building, leaving an exasperated girlfriend and half eaten burger in her wake. Alex stood up and got the bill from the guy behind the bar, who was witnessing the blonde's temper from a safe distance. She headed out into the rain to look for her. It was a dead end in one direction, so Alex ran back to the main street where her car was parked and got inside. It was pouring down now and a full throttle thunder storm was brewing overhead. She started the engine and headed down the street with the wipers moving at full speed to clear the screen. Running her hand through her wet hair in frustration, she searched the street for signs of Piper sheltering from the rain. It took a few sweeps up and down the road before Alex spotted her crouched into a doorway, sitting against the wall of a closed store. Pulling the car over, Alex got out and walked over to where Piper was crying into her arms across her knees.

The brunette hurried into the doorway and crouched down in front of her, reaching out to put her hand on Piper's arm.

"Pipes. Tell me what's going on will you?" She didn't move her arm away, so Alex moved to sit on her knees so she could see her properly.

"I can't keep doing this with you Alex." She sobbed and wiped her face across her sleeve.

"Doing what? What happened today? Piper, I really have no clue why you're mad at me you know. What's happened?"

There was no answer, only the sound of sniffing as Piper's shoulders shook a little.

XXXXX

Piper had done a great job of presenting the plan and explaining the justification for the investment they needed for each part of it. Polly had gone through their plans for the new products, discussing and showcasing the sample sets they were proposing for the online sales. It had gone really well and they had gotten over their nerves about the presentation quite quickly as their enthusiasm shone through. It was towards the end of the meeting when it all fell apart in a way that nobody had expected.

Galina Reznikov had nodded sagely throughout the presentation, taking notes and peering over the top of her glasses in between to look at new bar graphs. She had prodded and probed the data she was presented to ensure it was genuine and the two girls in front of her knew their market well. She had been impressed with the hours the girls had been willing to put into this new venture to make it work and innocently asked if they had families to consider in these future plans. Both girls smiled and said there were no plans for babies for either of them at the moment. The red haired woman laughed and said you can't always plan when a baby wants to grow in your belly. Piper snorted and said she's pretty certain her _girlfriend_ Alex wouldn't be sneaking any babies into her belly. The woman at the head of the table took her glasses off as she replied.

"Ah, yes. Sneaking a baby past Alex might be difficult…..What about you though Ms Harper?"

"Well….I'm not ruling it out. I would like kids one day. I mean….not like right away, but one day definitely."

"But we'd get some help in if that happened. We wanted to look into taking on staff from a rehabilitation programme. Maybe women who've been in prison we were thinking…We've had some help recently from my girlfriend's company from some ex-offenders and we think we could offer something more permanent…."

"Um….nothing's decided though. Just ideas at this stage." Polly cut in quickly.

She ran her hand roughly through her red, spiky hair in thought before replying. "I'm glad you girls want to get involved. But that would make things a little complicated."

"You don't want us employing felons?" Piper asked.

"I didn't say that. It's just not good for business."

"So you're prejudiced against people with a criminal record, is that what you're saying?" Piper's tone was defensive and Polly was wringing her hands to try and de-escalate this before Piper said something more serious.

"I don't think she meant that P.-"

"I was in prison you know. Would you have invested in my company if you'd have known that?"

"Ms Chapman….Please." Galina held her hand up to stop Piper from going any further. "I'm well aware of your past. It's the very thing that led to the investment in your company in fact. But involving the rehabilitation programme would not be possible without me speaking to Alex."

"What did you say? What has my girlfriend got to do with this?"


	82. Chapter 82

**A/N: Happy weekend everyone! So I've worked hard to make sure I didn't leave you hanging for too long this time. Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews on the last chapter, really enjoyed reading those as always. So, yes...since we are over 1000 now (really amazed at that!), here is another chapter for you. I'm not going to mention politics. I think we could all use a break from it quite frankly! Have a good one and hope you all have some great plans for the time off. I'm currently nursing a hangover after a night out in Cambridge, so I'm heading out for a pancake brunch cure before I drive home :-)**

Piper recalled what had happened that morning, eyes fixed on Alex's as she went through the events. She hadn't prepared herself for what emotions she wanted to see reflected back at her, but Alex nodded as she progressed through events until she got to the part where she stormed out of the meeting.

"So. Do you still think I'm being _dramatic_?!"

"Pipes, I can see how that looks to you. But it really isn't what you think it is."

"Really? Well, I'll tell you what I think it is first. I think it's you meddling in my life where it wasn't asked for, wanted or needed. I think it's you trying to control me, hide things from me and make me out to be helpless without you. It's you making me feel like I can't function like an adult in this world without constant help."

Alex rubbed the back of her neck in frustration. "No! It's not that at all!"

Piper pushed away to stand up and Alex trapped her by putting her arm against the wall of the doorway.

"If you'd stop running away whenever anyone has tried to explain this, you'd know it wasn't. Just wait will you? Stop pushing me away and listen to me."

"Well, it looks like you've had years to prepare the speech you're about to give me, so forgive me if I'm cynical of the tale you're about to tell." Piper stepped back into the corner, away from Alex's breath on her skin. Alex took another step forwards to close the gap so she could see the blue gaze on her in the shadows.

"Jesus you'd make a Saint want to throttle you when you're like this." Alex said through a clenched jaw as she tried to bottle that same feeling.

"OK. I missed you like crazy when you left me. You know that because I've told you. I saw that you had registered your name as a Company Director for PoPi a few years ago, so I knew you were doing alright and you were in New York. When I found out my evidence sent you to prison I felt guilty – you know that already too. Really fucking guilty for how that went down and I wanted to try and help. I knew your parents wouldn't entertain a word from me and you wouldn't either. So I got in touch with Polly."

Piper balled her fists. "You had no fucking right to do that Alex. I didn't want anything from you."

"I know. But I wanted to do _something_. I don't know….to deal with my guilt, to deal with the love I still had that I had no outlet for. I just needed to do something and I asked Polly. She hung up on me, didn't return my emails, told me to leave you alone. The whole nine yards. I tried to take the advice, honestly I did. I tried to reason that I needed to walk away and leave things alone…. That I'd fucked up and it couldn't be undone. But I couldn't rest." Alex turned to lean against the wall next to Piper now that she was more sure the blonde wasn't going to bolt.

"I went to visit the store one day and refused to leave until she talked to me and let me do something to help. I told Polly about the distribution business I was running and – after a long time arguing, she agreed that I could provide free delivery – getting your products to you and sending things out. She said you'd not want me involved and I twisted her arm and said you never needed to find out."

"So it's _exactly_ as I thought. – you meddling in my life when I didn't ask you to. Polly told me about the delivery deal. That doesn't explain anything about how you know Mrs Reznikov." Piper folded her arms over her chest and made it clear she wasn't budging from her original viewpoint.

"I know. I'm getting to that. Red – I call her Red. Her other name is a bit of a mouthful. Anyway, we got introduced when my John Peter's brother came to me for a job. He'd just been released from prison and the rehabilitation programme was struggling to find him any work. If he didn't get a job, he'd have to stay outside of the city in a volunteer programme. Anyway, I signed him up as a driver and Red was his supervisor at the rehabilitation programme. Over time, we've taken a few girls from her and we developed a good relationship where I'd help her out in a jam."

Piper's gaze softened a little as she was curious how this would lead to PoPi again. She nodded and leaned her head against the side wall as she listened to Alex continue.

"So, one day she came to me for a different kind of help. Her family runs a café and cake store in Queens and it was in need of some major repairs after storm damage destroyed the roof. They didn't have insurance to cover it and the place was going to fold if they didn't get it done and the city would revoke their food trading licences without it. She asked me about a loan. It was fucking awkward. She's a really proud woman and it was clear all other options had been tried before she swallowed her pride and spoke to me. I hadn't seen her like that. We were friends by that point and I didn't want loan repayments to be something we were discussing. I mean, what if they couldn't pay one time? I felt uneasy with it and said I'd think it over. I went back to her with a deal to buy shares as a silent partner. They run it and when things got better, I'd take a percentage of the profits. It's a deal that suited us both and she bit my hand off. It didn't take long for them to turn things around and they moved to bigger premises in a bigger part of the city later, expanding the café and selling their cakes into other cafes in the area."

"I'm still listening." Piper nodded as Alex dipped her head to check on her.

"Polly always wanted me to keep monthly records of what we _would_ have charged for the deliveries, so she could see what the real outgoings might be for running everything. So, I went round each month with the paperwork for her. It was all done through the books, I just paid the bill myself. So no tax man will be knocking on the door, don't worry." Alex tried a small smile and got one in return.

"Anyway, she got used to me coming in and asking how business was doing and told me things were looking pretty bad one day. She was struggling to run the store and keep on top of the finances and was worried she'd have to close up. I said I'd try and help her out with cutting some costs and offered to help with the money. She took the advice, but flatly refused the money. She said you'd rather see the business fold than take my help." Alex glanced at Piper, who turned her eyes away.

"The only way to stop PoPi from closing was investment. You weren't making enough to cover the bills and Polly stopped paying herself a proper wage, taking only enough to cover basic bills."

"Was that when she moved into that rat infested flat share in Queens?"

"Yes."

"She didn't tell me any of this… Only that she made a bad choice when she moved out of her old place." Piper's brow was furrowed in confusion that all of this had been going on and she had no clue.

"She didn't want to worry you I guess. You had something to look forward to when you got out. Why would she say anything to change that?"

"Jesus." Piper ran her hand into her hair.

"She still wouldn't take my help and she looked like shit. I spoke to Red and asked her if she'd return the favour by investing in PoPi. It would keep my name and money out of things and you'd get the investment you needed to keep going."

Piper thought for a while on how easily that could have been cleared up by Polly if only she had not been so explosive at hearing Alex's name.

"But why would Red need to talk to you about our plans today? I don't understand. If you're not involved in the investment, why would she need to talk to you?"

"I don't know really. It might be because she's running the rehabilitation programme and investing in your company. If you're wanting to get involved with taking on ex-cons, I guess it might be a conflict of interests for her. She left a message on my phone saying she needed to talk to me about an extension of the rehabilitation scheme, so maybe it was your meeting. I don't know, I haven't called her yet. Polly sounded more urgent when she said you'd disappeared."

"Right." It was a lot for Piper to process. So much had been kept from her over the past few years and she honestly hadn't realised things had been so close to folding with the store while she was in Litchfield.

"I know it was me getting involved when you didn't want my help. But you needed it Piper. PoPi would have folded for sure. Would you really rather have seen that happen than take anything from me? I helped, yes. But it's not my money OK? I just saw a way to help you. I know that won't wash with you, but I did what I thought was best for you at the time….and I'm sorry if you think that was wrong…But you've got your own store to run now and you had that future to look forward to while you were in prison."

Piper closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the cold wall. She was so angry about all of this happening behind her back, but also suddenly grateful that Alex had stepped in to help Polly when she couldn't .

"I don't know what to say." Piper shook her head, genuinely at a loss for words and unable to grasp onto a single emotion as her internal meter waved through them like a wheel of fortune on a game show.

Alex rubbed her face and stared out into the water that was pouring from the spout outside the doorway. She was relieved that she'd been able to find Piper at all after Polly's rough description of her last known location, but frustrated that she was yet again dropping everything to run after the blonde after she had gotten herself all riled up. The fact that she hadn't thought twice about heading out into the rain and dropping her plans to make sure her girlfriend was alright was enough to tell her she was in deep. She swallowed the sudden lump forming in her throat at the enormity of what that meant and fought hard to prevent her eyes from getting watery. Alex couldn't stop putting Piper above everything else in her life, even when she wanted to stay away and let things run their natural course. Even when she would take the impact of Pioer lashing out, just knowing she was safe was enough in that moment. Piper was in a world of her own, processing everything she had just heard and Alex doubted the blonde even realised what emotions she herself might be struggling with in all of this. A tinge of annoyance started to bubble inside of her as they stood in silence and Alex felt as though she might let it escape if they stayed here for much longer. It was no good talking to Piper when she'd had a drink, so Alex resolved to make a move before her trail of thought escaped her mouth. She moved towards her and rubbed her hands up and down Piper's arms.

"You're soaked through. Let's get you home before you catch your death."

Piper nodded and followed her out into the rain again, walking back to the car. The journey home was quiet as Piper leaned her head against the foggy glass, staring at the scenery flashing by as Alex drove her home. She was shivering, despite the heated seats and blower being on full and Alex followed her inside once they got to her apartment.

"Shall I run you a bath while you get out of those wet clothes?" Alex asked as she took her jacket off and hung it up.

"Thanks. I can't stop shaking. I'll put the heating on high."

Alex went into the bathroom to run the hot tap, finding some of PoPi's new samples to pour under the water. She sent Polly another text to let her know they were home now and she would stay for a while to make sure Piper was OK. She was swirling the water around to move the bubbles around when Piper came in wearing a bathrobe.

"Do you want a beer?"

"Yeah, I guess I could have one. Thanks."

Piper returned with an open bottle and passed it to Alex when she turned the taps off.

"Thanks. I'll leave you to it. If you need anything, just give me a shout and-."

"Alex, wait."

"Yeah?" She stopped in the doorway.

"I'm sorry."

Alex managed a small smile. She turned to walk out of the bathroom when Piper's small voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Will you hold me for a while?"

Alex turned and gazed at the shivering blonde in front of her. She looked so vulnerable that it was already taking every ounce of her restraint to _not_ touch the frail beauty in front of her. She walked forwards to put her arms around Piper's slim frame and kissed the top of her hair. Piper moved her arms around Alex's waist and pressed the side of her face into the brunette's collarbone. She gripped the taller woman so tightly, she was sure there would be marks on the skin beneath her shirt. They stayed like that for a long time, Alex's arms running up and down the blonde's back to soothe and warm her as they stood quietly before Piper broke the reverie.

"I'm sorry I always think the worst of you. I….I don't know why I do that."

Alex nuzzled her nose into the blonde hair beneath her and kissed the top of her head repeatedly as she ran her hands up and down Piper's back.

"I'm sorry I've given you reason to feel like that."

Piper pulled her closer and breathed in the scent of Alex's shirt, concentrating on the feeling of being held so tightly by the warm arms around her.

"Come on. Get into this bath while the water is still hot. You need to warm through." Alex leaned back to look at her, but was reluctant to break their embrace, despite her words. A tear was making it's way down Piper's cheek when Alex looked at her face and the taller woman wiped it away with her thumb. "Don't cry. It's OK now. We're OK. Right?"

"God, I'm such a fuck up." Piper pulled away to wipe her face. "Will you stay with me?"

"You mean tonight?"

Piper's face crumbled into a full blown sob as she replied. "I don't know…I mean….here in this room now….(sniff)….I mean tonight…..I mean…..I mean…..please don't leave me Alex." She wailed as she gripped the sleeves of Alex's shirt as she dropped to her knees.

"Ssshhhhh." Alex didn't know what else to say. It could be the alcohol making her emotional, it could be the court case, the counselling, the investment meeting quite frankly. She dropped down next to the blonde and pulled her into her lap as she leaned them both against the bath.

It seemed like a long time had passed before Piper ran out of sobs and Alex's shirt was soaked from the blonde's face. She pulled a towel off the rail and held it up to wipe her face when she calmed a little.

The blonde leaned back to look into the green eyes that were observing her with such concern now. "Alex, I know I've got trust issues…..and I'm so sorry that you're in the firing line every fucking time I go off like a firework. I want to get better. I'll get whatever help I need to do it. Please give me another chance?"

Alex stroked her fingers through Piper's hair, avoiding her eyes while she considered the promise to get help.

"I want you to talk to Sarah Phillips again. Start those sessions back up and try and deal with this anger you have. Will you do that for me?" Alex ran her thumb across Piper's cheek.

"Yes. I will call her in the morning."

"I don't know where this rage comes from, but you've got to find a way of containing it while you find out the facts whenever you get annoyed by something Pipes. You didn't even ask me before you made your mind up I'd done something terrible. Polly too for that matter."

"I know…..Sorry doesn't cut it…..You've heard it before, right?"

"Sorry is a start. But it's just a word at the end of the day. Action speaks louder than words." Alex looked into Piper's eyes as she spoke, showing that she meant what she said.

Piper nodded. "I'll call Polly and tell her I'm sorry later."

"I've let her know you're OK. I think you'd be better sleeping on this and talking to her in the morning. Probably better to do it face to face I think hey?"

"OK. I really am sorry Alex. I'll try harder, I promise."

"I know." Alex kissed the top of her head before moving to stand up. "I think you need to start over with that bath water.

Piper stood up with her and pulled the plug on it. "I'll take a shower instead." She reached for Alex's hand and squeezed it. "Will you….come with me?"

Alex was confused. "Where to?"

"In the shower."

"Pipes….I don't think you're ready for that. I didn't mean I wanted you to try harder like-."

"I know. I just….don't want to be alone right now and….you make me feel safe." Piper lifted Alex's hand and kissed her knuckles.

"I'll er….what if I wait outside the door, is that better?"

"I want you under the water with me."

"Pipes, are you absolutely sure? You've made so much progress lately and-."

Piper stopped the questions with her mouth over them. Alex stopped murmuring the end of the sentence when she felt Piper moving her lips slowly against her own. Slim fingers moved into dark hair around her neck and Alex felt gentle fingertips moving against the back of her neck, moving up to push handfuls against the back of her scalp as Piper pulled her ever closer. She responded with equal fervour as she felt Piper move her left hand down to her waist, pushing slightly under the fabric of her shirt before resting on her skin.

Alex moved her hand to the same spot on Piper's body and stilled when she realised that her robe had fallen open while they were kissing. Suddenly realising that Piper would be naked beneath that single layer, she found her heart beating so much faster. She was fighting with herself to continue their make out session and not turn it into a big deal for Piper, but the way they were touching each other felt so familiar and real that Alex wanted to carry on. But what if Piper froze when they were in the shower? They could be taking a step back on both the intimacy and the showering confidence in one lustful moment. Piper sensed the hesitancy and pulled back.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…."

"Why did you stop?"

"I didn't. I was just…thinking."

"About?"

Alex sighed. "We've never pushed things this far before and I don't want to ruin the progress you've made."

"OK….."

"I worry that if we get into that shower, you might suddenly freeze up and we're back to square one."

"Right." Piper pulled her robe back around her and tied it tightly. "You think I'll freak out again and it's not turning you on."

"I didn't say that." Alex lifted her chin with her fingertips. "If we get into that shower naked right now, I know I'll want to fuck you. And THAT is not what you want from me tonight." Piper's eyes closed as her stomach flipped at the thought. "Pipes…. We're not ready for that. Let's take it one step at a time OK?"

"Maybe I want you to fuck me." Piper challenged.

"You don't. You couldn't change in front of me last week. Remember?" Alex was determined to stop this with her brain before their vaginas called mutiny and sailed out of the safe harbour.

"It doesn't mean I don't want you to." Piper whispered.

"Baby steps OK? When we're ready, it will be fucking incredible." Alex kissed her slowly again.

"I still want you to shower with me." Piper stood her ground, determined to make some progress in this fucked up day she was having.

Alex chewed her cheek as she thought about safety first. "Go put a t-shirt and shorts on and bring me a set too then…Wrap it before you tap it, right?" Alex winked.

Piper grinned. "Did you just use a condom slogan?"

"Ew, no."

Piper returned a couple of minutes later wearing a grey top and black shorts, throwing Alex a different colour.

"A white t-shirt? Seriously?"

"What? You said we needed protection, you didn't say you wanted a colour palette to choose from." Piper smiled as she leaned into the shower to turn it on.

Alex shook her head and started to take her clothes off. She knew Piper was watching her and took her time, raising her eyebrow as she turned around to give her a full frontal before pulling the shorts up her milky thighs. "See something you like?"

"You know I do. Stop tormenting me or I'll need to make this a cold shower for both of us."

Alex smirked and pulled the white top over her head. "Ready for action. You sure you're OK with this?"

"The uniform is an unexpected accessory, but I'm OK. Ready?" Piper held her hand out and gestured for Alex to step under the water first.

"This feels weird. Are you coming in or are you going to stand there judging the wet t-shirt competition?"

"I'm suddenly very conflicted about losing this perfect view."

"Get over here and keep me company." Alex reached out and pulled Piper under the water gently, leaning down to kiss her as the water fell over their faces.

"Mmmm. You're scoring high points contestant number 1." Piper murmured against her lips.

"Oh yeah? Wait til you hear my speech about world peace." Alex whispered into her ear before kissing down her neck.

"I must say….you have piqued my interest already." Piper moved her hands into Alex's wet hair and pulled her lips towards her collarbone.

Alex smirked and reached round the blonde to pick up a bottle of shower gel before squirting some into her palm and rubbing it under the white top, around her torso. "You like my intro so far?" Alex continued to move her hand up, soaping her breasts under the water.

"Jeeeeesus Alex." Piper gasped. She closed her eyes under the water and reached for the shampoo, lathering up her hair as she watched Alex move over her body with more shower gel. "Want to rinse together?" Alex moved to stand behind Piper now, pressing her front into Piper's back. She moved her hands up into sudded blonde hair and moved her hands to wash the suds out under the water. The felt the blonde pressing back into her, leaning her head back onto her shoulder as the last of the shampoo washed out. Alex poured more shower gel out into her hands and worked it up and down Piper's arms, pushing her long fingers underneath the shoulders of the grey top the blonde was wearing and towards her collarbone.

"This isn't playing fair."

"What? We're showering. We're using protection." Alex spoke softly against her neck before she moved to her knees to begin working the gel into a lather over her feet and up her toned calves. She pressed her fingers in to work the muscle a little as she moved up and down the smooth skin of Piper's lower legs. Looking up to see Piper watching her intently, Alex smiled and held the blue eyes with her own gaze as she leaned forwards to place open-mouthed kisses on the inside of her knees.

"Are you good?" she asked as she poured more gel into her palm and rubbed her hands together slowly before pressing them onto Piper's left thigh and moving up and down in a circular motion.

Piper reached down to push her fingers into the wet hair of her kneeling girlfriend, nodding as their eyes connected again. "Are you holding your breath?" Alex chuckled as she did the same on the right leg. As the brunette worked the slippery suds higher towards the bottom of shorts Piper was wearing, the blonde's breath hitched a little and Alex moved her fingers to the back of her thighs, inching towards her ass. She felt Piper grip at her hair a little more and looked up to see Piper's eyes were closed, head dropped back a little, exposing her neck more. Alex wiped the suds from the top of her leg and moved her lips towards Piper's athletic quads, focusing on Piper's face all the while. She smiled to herself as she saw the blonde's lips part when Alex began kissing her way up her right thigh, her mouth working at the skin to kiss and suck it occasionally. As she reached the edges of the shorts, she worked her tongue underneath the hem a little and ran it all along the edge before sucking the skin a little again.

Piper didn't say anything, but braced herself with one arm on the wall of the shower, the other holding firmly onto the dark hair moving below her. She was breathing more raggedly now and letting occasional gasps and moans escape her lips. Alex moved a little to do the same on the other leg and moved her hands around the back of her legs, moving a bit further beneath the hem to feel the soft skin that was the delicious ridge of Piper's ass cheeks. Alex moved her hands out and over the top of the wet shorts to lightly kneed and squeeze the blonde's ass, all the while snaking her dextrous tongue over the slippery flesh at the bottom of the shorts. Hearing Piper moan caused her own eyes to close briefly as her stomach flipped and she pulled Piper closer to her mouth. Moving higher, she pushed the bottom of the grey tee up with her nose to make a sliver of bronzed torso visible to her and she ran a line of gentle kisses all along it to Piper's hips. Her hands moved from squeezing her pert ass up higher to reach under the grey tee and rake her fingertips up the smooth skin of Piper's back. The blonde arched into her more and she moved so both hands were now firmly embedded in the dark hair that was getting progressively higher up her body.

"Mmmm have I told you how beautiful you are?" Alex spoke in a low tone as she placed open mouthed kisses around Piper's navel. Her hands moved to Piper's waist and bunched the top up a little higher to allow Alex full access to this particularly erogenous zone she knew Piper had.

"Fffffuck…..No…." Piper panted out with a suddenly limited vocabulary.

"Well, you are very beautiful….(kiss)…..kissable…..(kiss)…..and extremely slippery when wet…(lick)." Alex swirled her tongue along the tense stomach muscles pressing against taught skin and around her navel before briefly dipping it inside."

Alex's knees were beginning to bruise a little from her position and she had to get her mouth away from the waistband of those tiny shorts before she pulled them off without a further thought, so she got to her feet and raised her hands higher still up Piper's ribs, caressing her skin with her thumbs as she leaned to press her forehead against Piper's. Both women were breathing erratically and Alex could see in the darkened blue eyes in front of her that Piper was just as turned on as she was right now. She leaned in to seal their lips together in a searing kiss that pushed Piper against the wall as the brunette's thumbs slowly moved across the underside of Piper's breasts. Swallowing a deep moan from the blonde as she did so, Alex was encouraged and moved her fingers around to stroke the sides of both breasts. Piper moved her own hands over the top of Alex's breasts through her tee and squeezed both slowly, then rhythmically. The blonde's movements were now a lot more urgent and she pinched at Alex's nipples roughly, causing them to stick out through the fabric. Alex kept her movements under Piper's top more slow and deliberate, kissing Piper leisurely before Piper broke away to nip at the dark haired woman's neck and move her hands beneath the white fabric covering her breasts. Alex moaned and grazed her fingertips up and down the sides of Piper's body as they remained pressed together under the cascading water.

"Touch me Alex." Piper reached for Alex's hands and moved them to her breasts. "I want you to touch me." Feeling the stiffened buds beneath her fingers already, Alex responded by pushing her tongue into Piper's mouth with still more vigour and softly squeezing Piper's perky tits. When Piper had to break for air, she lifted Alex's top over her head and groaned at the fantastic sight of Alex's bare chest in front of her. "Fuck, you're hot." Alex smirked in response but before the taller woman could resume her thorough explorations of Piper's mouth, Piper pushed her back softly before reaching to the hem of her own top. Maintaining eye contact with Alex, she crossed her arms and slowly began pulling the top up to reveal her upper body inch by inch. Alex swallowed thickly as she saw the familiar freckles and moles of the body she had committed to memory revealed to her piece by piece. When Piper pulled the garment over her head and pulled her hair free of it, she dropped it onto the floor and took Alex's hand, bringing it to her waist.

"I want to feel you." Piper whispered with as much courage as she could muster, despite her heart beating it's way out of her chest. Alex brought her other hand to mirror her hold on Piper's naked flesh, stepping forward a little.

"I want to feel you too." Alex spoke just as quietly as she slowly closed the space between them to press their bare chests together for the first time in too many years.


	83. Chapter 83

**A/N: Hey guys! Teeny note from me this week to say thanks for all your support on the last chapter. I got some great reviews and they are much appreciated every time. Chapter 83 coming right up...**

They had both slept soundly that night, Piper quite content to be little spoon when they settled down in her bed. Although their positions had shifted during the night, they remained in contact with each other's skin as they took both comfort and reassurance from the closeness they had found.

Alex woke first in the morning, thoughts of paperwork and meetings already permeating her semi-consciousness. It didn't take long for her to open her eyes and smile at the sleeping beauty beside her, blonde hair fanned on the pillow around her as she slept soundly. Not wanting to disturb her, but conscious she had things to do, Alex carefully got out of the bed and pulled on her clothes from last night. She needed to get home to change before a client meeting this morning and prepare some papers in the office before she and Bill met up. When she was dressed and ready to leave, Alex walked around to sit on the bed next to Piper, stroking her fingers against the hair above her ear to softly wake the blonde.

"Pipes…Pipes…I've got to go babe."

Piper stirred and sleepily took Alex's hand from her face to pull it to her lips. "Mmmnnnnnnn. Don't want you to." She hadn't even opened her eyes as she took Alex's arm hostage by pulling her down on top of her. Alex chuckled at cute Piper waking up. Cute Piper had a way of getting what she wanted from Alex and the brunette peppered the sleepy woman's neck and collar bone with kisses before pushing herself up again.

"I'm not going to fall for your charms this morning, Chapman. As tantalisingly charming as they are." Alex smirked as Piper opened her eyes to pout. "We've got things to do and I need to not look like a dirty stop out when I meet clients this morning." She interlaced their fingers and rubbed her thumb over the top. "You've got an apology to prepare for Polly too, don't forget."

Piper brought her other hand up and rubbed her face to wake up some more. "I know. I don't even know where to start with that." Alex squeezed her hand a little to reassure her. "Well, start by not leaving it too long at least. Are you working today?"

"I've got a meeting with Julie this morning, so I usually take the whole day off because I'd meet my Lawyer in the afternoon. I don't need to see him today though, so I could go and see Polly after I'm finished with Julie. If she hasn't already put burly door staff out front to stop me from getting in."

"OK, well happy grovelling. If you're free this afternoon, I thought I'd go and see where things lie with Red. Do you want to come?"

"Oh God….I can only imagine what she thinks of me right now." Piper covered her eyes, recalling her performance yesterday. "It's a nailed on bet that we won't be getting the investment, put it that way. There's probably no point in you even-."

"Pipes…..I said I was going to see where things lie." Alex gently pried her fingers away to hold her hands again. "Anyway, it's up to you. I'll probably be free after 2, so I'll give you a call then and see if you can hear me."

Piper furrowed her brow. "Huh?"

"It's kinda hard to hear people talking when your head is either up your own ass or in the sand." Alex grinned as she dodged Piper's swat.

She leaned down to kiss Piper, who wrapped her arms around her neck tightly and pulled her closer still. "Still don't want you to go." Piper mumbled through their melded lips.

"Only because your grovelling already worked on me. I ought to play harder to get." Pecking her on the lips, Alex stood up and grabbed her phone. "See you later."

XXXXX

Piper was excited about her session with Julie because once again, she felt like she had made some progress. She answered Julie's questions for a while, before she was finally asked whether she was still managing to shower with the door unlocked. Piper's excitement won over her embarrassment in an instant and she told Julie about her shower with Alex last night. Blushing a little as she talked about them both being naked from the waist up for a while, Piper soon got over it when she saw that Julie was smiling at her.

"What made you want to do that?"

"I don't know really. We'd argued over something – all my fault." Piper held her hand up to acknowledge that before continuing. "It turns out, I had been angry about something I should have been thanking her for and she was there for me anyway. Even though I always think the worst of the reasons for her doing something and lash out at her, she keeps coming back. I just…I don't know….I just felt really close to her last night and I wanted to get closer still. It wasn't even sexual…..well it sort of was to start off to be honest. But it wasn't that when we took our shirts off…..I don't know…It was like the sexual tension was replaced with something else….I can't explain it." Piper shook her head, searching for the right words to describe the feeling. "It was like we both felt the shift while we were under that shower. Looking into her eyes I saw it. We were reconnecting…..Properly. I saw a woman whose heart I broke all those years ago, who loved me so much that she moved heaven and earth to look out for me and has been doing it for years, despite my protestations and tantrums at every turn. Your whole sense of self worth gets a massive burst of energy when you see that in someone's eyes."

Julie smiled and made a couple of notes, allowing Piper to let her newly acknowledge feelings sink in a little.

"I want to show her how much I love her Julie. I know she's scared of pushing things too far with me and I am too a little. I really want to be able to relax with her and let her….touch me, you know? I just tense up when I think we're getting towards that base and she senses it immediately. It's like pouring cold water on things repeatedly. Eventually, you start to anticipate the cold water as soon as you're making out and you're already tensing. How do I get past that?"

"Piper, it's not an instruction manual I'm afraid. You made so much progress last night. Just keep doing what you're doing."

"You must have some hints and tips though?"

Julie laughed and set her notepad down. "I don't really. You can try something like setting up a quiet evening for just the two of you to relax together. Get some massage oils and focus on the touching, rather than the sex. You need to get that confidence back with touching and being touched without the fear or expectation that intimate touching like that doesn't have to lead to sex."

"Hmm, massages ALWAYS lead to sex with Alex, so I'm not sure that's a good idea for us."

"Well, set the rules then. You think about what you're comfortable with and how you want to do it and tell her before you start."

"Won't that feel a little robotic? Like, ask her to sign a disclaimer before we start?"

"It might to start with. But once you get started with the massage, you're focused on the feelings without the expectations of it leading to sex. Anyway, like I said. I don't have a magic wand for these things. It's really up to the individuals to work through. It's just my idea. Just try to increase the contact without the sex. Holding hands, arms around each other while you watch a movie, cuddles while you're cooking. That kind of thing."

XXXXX

Piper called at a florist before she ventured to PoPi and walked into the store with the bunch of flowers in front of her. She was really nervous about Polly's reaction and glad that Brooke and Tricia were in the stock room when she reached the counter. Polly's face was unreadable as Piper put the flowers onto the counter.

"Hi….These are part of a massive apology that I owe you. I'm really sorry for what happened yesterday."

Polly folded her arms and watched Piper put them on the counter when she refused to take them.

"Alex told me everything. She found me in a bar last night and made me listen to reason eventually. I know Red only bailed us out because Alex stepped in and you wouldn't take her money."

Polly eyed her as she went through the details of what Alex had told her, only nodding to confirm her understanding.

"….Basically, you were both looking out for the store and for me all this time and I was behaving like a diva by not listening to you. I know that now and I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions."

"Wrong conclusions."

"Wrong conclusions."

"And you're a terrible best friend."

"I know."

"And a terrible girlfriend."

"That too."

"I should also mention that you're a terrible business partner."

"Agreed."

Polly chewed the inside of her cheek, not wanting to forgive her friend so easily for putting her through the last 24 hours.

"I'm going to start seeing Sarah Phillips again. To help with my trust issues and deal with my anger better."

"Glad to hear it. What else are you going to do?"

"Um…I already said sorry to Alex."

"Did she accept?"

"Yeah, if I meet with Sarah and try harder." Piper avoided Polly's eyes as she scratched her nail along the glass counter.

"Are you going to apologise to Mrs Reznikov?"

"Red…Alex calls her Red. It's the hair I think. Um…Alex is going to see her this afternoon. She said I could go with her."

"Good. If she accepts your apology, I will."

"Oh Polly, don't be that way…"

"Don't be what way P? If she doesn't give us the money, we're going under. She was as good as signing the paperwork when you basically accused her of being as trustworthy as the Russian mafia doing their tax returns."

Piper winced at the lasting memory of Red peering at her over her glasses before she stormed out and slammed the door behind her. She sighed at the extra helping of humble pie she would have to eat when she was already nauseous for over-indulging in apologies in the last 12 hours.

"OK, I'll go with Alex….I'd better go and get some more flowers as well…." Piper was on her way to the front door when Polly shouted her back.

"Take some of this with you." Polly walked around to the shelves stacked with herbal lotions and picked up a couple of the pots of the one designed to ease back pain. Shrugging, she said simply "She seems the type to like a practical gift and she was complaining of back ache when we saw her."

"Thanks. This is a great idea. I'll even offer to apply it." Piper tried a small smile.

Polly screwed her face up and shook her head.

"OK, just the products then. Oh, that reminds me…." She walked to pick up a few things for herself off the shelves and waved to Polly to deduct it from her pay. She got an eye roll and a hand shooing her out of the door by way of a reply.

XXXXX

Piper had time to go grocery shopping, make an appointment with Sarah and call her Lawyer for an update on the trial before Alex called to pick her up. Seeing her coming out of the house with the largest bouquet of flowers she had ever seen and a neatly ribboned gift box, Alex opened the car door for her to put them down.

"Should I be worried you are wooing someone else and using me for a ride there?"

Piper grinned and leaned to kiss her on the lips quickly. "No. It's the biggest apology I can carry for Red."

"Would now be a good time to tell you she suffers from life threatening hay fever?"

"No Alex, it would not."

"OK. Well you'll either be killing her with kindness or pollen I guess." She walked around to get back in the driver seat.

"Not funny. I'm shitting myself and trying to remember my speech here."

Alex laughed loudly as she pulled onto the road. "You don't need a speech. The shitting yourself part is probably appropriate though." She side-eyed Piper who punched her on the bicep.

"Stop talking now asshole."

"Are you gonna get angry again?"

"No. I'm on the wagon. I called Sarah earlier. Got an appointment for Monday, so she's tasked with curing me."

"Good." Alex smiled and reached over to hold Piper's hand as she drove to Red's office.

XXXXX

Piper was far more nervous about the apology than she had been about the presentation and Alex decided to leave her in the car as she fixed her hair for the hundredth time in the parking lot. She was sat in the waiting area, flicking through a story about Tom Cruise's relationship with Xenu when Piper came in. Smiling quickly at the girl on Reception who recognised her, she sat next to Alex with the flowers and gift box jiggling on her lap.

Red came out of her office a short while later to greet them. "Good Afternoon ladies. Come on through." She gestured towards the door and asked the Receptionist to bring some drinks before following behind them and sitting down.

"It's not often I get a personal appearance Vause. It's good to see you." Red nodded before turning her attention to Piper.

"Ms Chapman. Are you on your way to a funeral?"

"What? No! No….these are…I brought these for you." She stood up quickly and dropped the gift box on the floor as she thrust the bouquet towards Red. "Shit! Um…to say sorry. For yesterday." Piper scrambled onto her knees to retrieve the box from under Red's desk before standing up again and straightening her hair. Her cheeks were flushed as she handed the box to Red. "This too. I thought you might try them to help with your back aches." Piper smoothed her jeans down before taking a seat next to Alex again.

"I see. Well, it's like Christmas in here all of a sudden. Were you expecting something in return?"

Alex put her hand on Piper's knee to try and calm her a little as Red turned to put the flowers onto the floor behind her and the Receptionist brought their drinks in.

"Oh, no. Of course not. I just wanted to apologise really."

"I see…..Was there anything else?" Red peered over her glasses again, seemingly about to go back to her paperwork.

Piper looked at Alex, praying for some divine intervention and Alex just smiled back at her. Piper's eyes grew wide as she tried to communicate that she wanted the dark haired woman to say something.

"Would you like a moment Ms Chapman?" Red raised her brows.

"Um no…"

"In that case, what can I do for you Vause?" Her attention turned to Alex, who smiled and relaxed back into her chair.

"You left me a message yesterday about extending the rehab programme. What's up?"

"You came all this way to ask me that?"

"Yeah, and to collect a baklava that you promised me last week." Alex grinned.

"I did. I'll have Sergei drop it off later, you're right. So, there's a company that came to see me yesterday who want to sign up to the rehab programme. It seems they have a couple of employees on loan there at the moment and they want to make the arrangement permanent."

Alex shrugged. "OK, cool. You're always looking for new partnerships right?"

"Yes. Only this place is owned by Ms Chapman here." Red nodded towards Piper, who was only just realising that Red had been talking about PoPi.

"OK. So, what do you need from me?"

"You want to have this conversation in private Vause?"

Alex shook her head before putting her arm around Piper and kissing her temple. "Piper Chapman is my girlfriend Red. There's nothing you can't say to me in front of her."

"OK. Well, as the Director of the Rehab Programme in New York I can't invest in a company with my own money where they are also going to use our ex-cons as staff. It would look fishy and the last thing I want is an accusation of doing anything illegal."

"I get that…So what are you proposing?"

"I don't know. You came to me with this investment opportunity. The business plan is bullet proof and I'd sign it off, but they wouldn't be able to employ anyone from our programme." Red's eyes were looking to Alex for help now.

"And you really need the jobs for the programme?" Alex sighed and rubbed her temple.

"You know I do Alex. We're desperate to get more of these women back into work but there aren't enough places willing to take a chance on them."

"But if PoPi takes on staff from the programme, you can't finance the expansion plans." Alex sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

Piper looked between the pair of them like she was watching the Williams sisters in a Grand Slam final. The tension was all in Piper though and she had never felt so much like a green fuzzy ball in all her life.

"Please Mrs Reznikov. We need that investment to keep things going! You've seen the figures. We worked our asses off on that plan and we know we can make it work. We'll do whatever it takes."

"Ms Chapman, I don't doubt your enthusiasm and your presentation yesterday was very well executed, except the grand finale…."

"I'm so sorry about that. Please don't hold that against us. I was wrong, I know that now. And I didn't mean what I said about you being involved in the Russian mafia-."

Alex spat out the water she had just taken a sip of and coughed the bit she had inhaled sharply. Piper slapped her on the back without looking and continued her plea to Red. "Please, just tell me what you need us to do and we'll do it to make this possible."

Red smiled a little. "You're missing the issue here princess. I want to give you the money _and_ I want you to sign up to the rehab programme. But I can't do both." Red shrugged after laying out the facts and sitting back in her chair, she waited for a solution to come from the other side of the desk.

"I don't understand?"

" _I_ can't…But _someone else_ could."

Piper looked from Red, back to Alex, waiting for one of them to solve the riddle that her livelihood was tightrope walking along. All eyes rested on Alex, who looked like she was about to explode. Piper rested her hand on Alex's knee.

"What's wrong?" Piper murmured quietly.

Alex shook her head and sat up straight before speaking. "No. No fucking way. Everything stays exactly as it is. We're not fucking with this."

"Vause, I don't think…"

"No, I don't either. So let's just leave it alright?" Alex stood up to leave and zipped her jacket up as she walked to the door. She was already in the car, starting the engine when Piper caught up with her. She could sense Alex was in a dark mood and resolved to not press the brunette on what was the matter as they moved towards the street. After 5 mins of silence and an overwhelming urge to cut the atmosphere down a notch, Piper moved her hand to rest on Alex's on her thigh. Keeping her blue gaze on the road ahead, she soothed her fingers over Alex's as they weaved through the traffic. They remained quiet until Alex pulled up outside of Piper's apartment.

"Um…thanks for the ride….I, er….I think Red sort of accepted my apology I guess?"

Alex's jaw clenched and she forced a quick smile before looking away again, busying herself by plugging her phone in to charge.

Piper took her seat belt off and reached for her bag. As she was about to open the door, she turned to Alex one last time. "Alex?"

The brunette turned to face her, a million thoughts racing through her head. "Yeah?"

"Um…thanks for the ride, for taking me to meet Red."

"You're welcome."

"I'll call you later then?"

"Well…yeah. I'll be round at Nicky's though. I'll just call you tomorrow OK?" Alex was already signalling to move back into the street before Piper had closed the door, so it was clear that was all the goodbye the blonde would be getting tonight. She walked through her front door and dropped onto the sofa heavily. The last two days had been a real rollercoaster with Alex and she'd felt like something shifted between them last night to bring them closer. Now Alex seemed suddenly distant and agitated as a result of the meeting with Red. She got her phone out to call Polly and tell her how the meeting went as she made some coffee.

"So, is she going to give us the money?"

"I honestly don't know. She said she wanted to, if that helps?"

" _Wanting_ to give us the money and depositing it into our account are oceans apart. It doesn't sound like we're any closer to getting this sorted." Polly sighed.

"I'm sorry Polly, I tried. I apologized, took her flowers, gave her the lotions, the whole nine yards. She said she wanted to give us the investment, but she couldn't do that as well as have us take part in the rehabilitation programme."

"So, you told her we'd just take the money?"

"Well, no. She said she wanted to do both."

"Well, tell her to forget the rehabilitation and we'll take the money if we need to choose."

"It's not that simple."

"Sure it is. She says she can't do both, we'll take the door with a stack of Dollar bills behind it. Problem solved as far as I can see."

"I want to be a part of the rehabilitation programme though Pol. Alex made me see that I've been lucky to get the opportunity to run a business when I was released and I know that most of those women that were serving time with me won't ever get that."

"And what does SuperCunt think of that dream wrecking that opportunity now?"

"What do you mean?"

"If we don't get the investment, we close. Then your opportunity goes as well as mine. Forget all those orange jumpsuits with a sob story. What does Alex think about that?"

"I don't know. She seemed pissed after the meeting."

"I bet she was. Pissed that you're throwing your business away in an attempt to earn a do-gooder badge."

Piper was quiet for a moment as she tried to swallow the rising lump in her throat before Polly sensed her voice change.

"Are you still there?"

"Yeah. I've got to go. I have a gym class. I'll work this weekend in the store. Don't come in tomorrow. Bye."

Piper hung up and switched her phone off as the first tears started to trickle from her eyes. She wiped them away brusquely and hurried to pack her gym gear. She didn't plan to go to the gym tonight, but suddenly, pounding some padded gloves with Jessie seemed like a great way to let off some steam, instead of wailing about it.

XXXXX

Alex wanted to change out of her business clothes before seeing Nicky, so she called her on her way home to say she'd be about an hour.

"Fuck that. I'm not growing old while Snow White curls her hair for a night in. I'll come to you. Pizza or Chinese?"

"Pizza – and I didn't say I'd be curling my fucking hair OK Dopey?"

"Whatever Princess. Your charms won't work on me anyway."

"Because you're a tasteless dwarf?"

"Because you're high maintenance."

Nicky hung up before Alex could retort and the brunette scowled at the line going dead as she parked her car. She was showered and deliberately tied her hair up wet to prove a point when Nicky let herself in.

"You got your key back then?"

"Yeah. I figured blondie would have her own by now." Nicky winked as she plonked the pizza boxes and a pack of beers onto the table.

"We're taking things slowly." Alex took the tops off a couple of bottles and followed Nicky to the sofas.

"I guessed. Is she making you get Daddy's permission before you get to second base?"

Alex chuckled. "If I had to get her Daddy's permission to be in the same city, it would be a cold day in Hell."

"You're her rebellious phase then." Nicky grinned and took a swig of beer.

"Something like that. Her prolonged experimental, rebellious and totally without her parents' permission phase."

"A phase that coincides with your 'fallen head over heels for a straight girl' phase."

Alex cast her a quick glance that said she wasn't going to admit anything. "She's different…I mean…..she's complicated as fuck, don't get me wrong. But she's….I don't know. Like flawed and damaged, but beautiful. I mean, that's what makes her so beautiful to me. She doesn't hide who she is, she is what you see. She's angry, funny, naïve, goofy, unpredictable, caring, careless, clumsy, thoughtful, sexy."

"Sounds like you've got all the dwarves you need right there Snow White."

"Yeah…and I never know which one I'm going out with at any point. Fun, you'd think?"

"Chapman's cool. I like her." Nicky shrugged and shovelled a slice of pizza into her mouth.

"Yeah. I know. I like her too. I just wish I knew how to protect myself when she winds up into a tornado." Alex told Nicky about Red investing in PoPi and the plans they presented for more investment, right up to the meeting she had earlier today.

"Piper's been in _prison_? Are you fucking kidding me?!" Nicky's eyes were wide with genuine shock.

"Yes. But don't say anything unless she tells you OK? She doesn't like people knowing that."

"Fucking Hell Vause. I might actually have to take you down to get to her now I know that. Fuck, if she'd have been in _my_ prison bunk, this story would be way different now."

"I mean it Nick, don't say anything to her."

"I won't. What the fuck did Daddy's girl do to end up in a sexy orange jumpsuit?"

"She met me." Alex drained her beer and gestured to Nicky that she was getting some more.

"I'm guessing I'm not allowed to ask any more questions."

"You're learning quickly Nicholls."

"So how come Chapman is mad at you? I mean aside from the meeting you and going to prison part?" Nicky took another bottle from Alex as she sat back down.

"She's not. Well, not anymore I don't think. But she wants to take on women from Red's rehabilitation programme and Red can't agree to that as their investor. So, she's going to be mad that she can't have both and I just know Red wants me to take over her investment role. She's forcing me into a corner here and I don't like it one bit." Alex felt the anger rising in her body again, whitening her knuckles around the bottle.

"You can't afford it?"

"It's not the money Nic. It's about Piper not wanting me involved in her business. She fucking hates it if she thinks I'm taking over and I don't want that hanging between us when we're trying to build a relationship together."

"Is that what she said?"

"Not today, but she's said it plenty enough in the past for it to sink in. She'd rather let the business sink than see me take over from Red. So, what do I do? Call things off with her to be a business partner and save her business or let PoPi sink and hope she'll let me comfort her as a girlfriend as the soaps float down the drain?"


	84. Chapter 84

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter. I've had a few different people leave comments about their own stories relating to this storyline and I'm really touched to hear I'm treating the subject with sensitivity. To the reviewer who told me about massages in therapy, yes I do plan to take your suggestion and thanks so much for making it. Making it authentic and using real advice helps to keep things real and allow healing. It has been hard writing this chapter because I wanted it to be longer, but that would mean a longer wait. So, I've stayed up late especially for you tonight (it's my birthday!) so I can at least post a short update. Enjoy the rest of your weekend and I hope you like it ;-)**

Piper's arms were aching from the glove work with Jess last night, but it was an ache that reminded her that she hadn't drunk anything, hadn't lashed out at anyone and hadn't sat alone in the dark crying. It was a triumphant ache as far as she was concerned and she didn't mind being reminded of it as she lifted her arms to tidy the higher shelves up on Saturday morning. She had the radio on in the background, but enjoyed the time alone, save for the clusters of customers that came and went throughout the day. She hadn't heard from Alex since yesterday and her instinct was caught between wanting to text her and wanting to let the brunette call first – be the fly Piper! She'd been so pleased with the progress they had made on Thursday night and waking up with Alex stroking her hair on Friday morning felt so good, so right. She didn't want to let any distance develop, like the ground might have to be made up again if she didn't put a stake in the ground and keep it there. It was really starting to hit home just how much she needed Alex and how she felt a little hollow whenever her girlfriend wasn't going to be around.

She had to start ignoring the nagging 'what ifs' and start to relax a bit more if she was going to let Alex into her life properly. All of those thoughts and actions had been proven mostly wrong – and even when Alex had done something bad, it was usually for a legitimate reason. Taking her phone out of her pocket, she decided to send her a quick text message.

'Hi Alex. I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place later, maybe bring your pyjamas and sleep over? ;-)'

She hit send and then quickly sent a follow up message.

She grinned as a reply came back quickly.

'What time? x"

'6pm and I'll cook dinner too? X'

'You had me at 'pyjamas', but you just sealed the deal. Shall I bring anything – other than sexy lingerie? ;-) x'

'No, just your hot self. X'

'Goes without saying. See you later. X'

Piper shut the store briefly for lunch and headed to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients, buying a cookery book and following the recipe as she walked around the store with it. She ran back to the store, laden with bags, to find Polly had opened up again and was leaning against the counter.

"Hey, I promise I was only gone an hour tops!" Piper gasped as she dropped the bags in the office and came back through, rubbing her aching arms.

"It's OK, I'm not spying on you. I just thought I'd call in and see you is all."

"Riiiiiight….should I be worried?"

"No. I just wanted to check we're good. I was a bit stressed out yesterday and Pete said I was a bitch to you on the phone last night….Was I?"

"Yes, but I will forgive you." Piper shrugged and stretched her neck from side to side.

"Good session at the gym last night?"

"Yeah, I beat the shit out of some padded gloves. You ought to try it. Apparently it makes you less of a bitch." Piper smiled sweetly. "Coffee?"

XXXXX

Alex dropped Nicky back home on Saturday afternoon before heading into the office to do some paperwork. She was looking forward to seeing Piper later, but was equally dreading the unavoidable topic of the investment meeting. Making excuses to not go tonight would be pointless as she'd only sit home alone and wonder what Piper would have cooked her for dinner. She had been telling Piper to try harder with actions instead of words, so it was only fair that she gave her every opportunity to do exactly that. She closed up the office and headed home to shower and change into some skinny black jeans and a cashmere sweater, wearing some light make up. She arrived outside Piper's place at 5:45 with her overnight bag by her feet and a bunch of flowers behind her back as she knocked on the door.

"Hey, you're early! Too excited to wait any longer?" Piper grinned as she leaned forward to kiss Alex quickly on the lips.

"I've pretty much been sitting on the stoop since you said you were cooking. I was worried there might be a queue to see this amazing event." Alex presented her with the flowers and stepped inside.

"Aw, thank you. These are beautiful Al."

"Well, I was shocked to see there were any left after you cleared out the wholesalers yesterday." Alex grinned as she took her coat off.

"Yep, I pretty much have a regular pollen apology payment these days. It's an 'apollengy'."

"You ought to consider an apology for that joke."

"You want a drink?"

"What are you having?"

"Water. I'm being good. But don't feel that you have to. I've got beer or wine in the fridge."

"I'll have a beer thanks." Alex followed Piper to the kitchen. "Mmm, looks good so far. Can I help with anything?"

"It's OK. I've got it covered."

Alex moved to stand close behind her and peered over her shoulder at the recipe. "What's on the menu then? Tarragon chicken….I'm impressed."

"I hope you'll still be impressed when it comes back out of the oven." Piper turned to kiss Alex's cheek as the brunette dipped to rest her chin on Piper's shoulder and circle her waist with her arms as Piper chopped herbs.

"I'm sure I will be."

Piper prepared three courses and pointedly refused to let Alex lift even a finger, instead having her sat on the opposite side of the breakfast bar drinking her beer throughout the cooking. She set the table and lit a candle before they settled down to eat, turning the rest of the lights out and putting a random playlist on her phone through the speaker.

"Is it too dark? Can you see your plate? I'll put a lamp on if you.-"

"It is kinda dark, but it feels like we're playing house in a power cut, so I like it." Alex answered, smiling at Piper's fidgeting and putting her hand over Piper's to stop her from getting up.

"It's not too cheesy?"

"It's nice. Really. It looks amazing Pipes."

"Well it might not-"

"It tastes amazing too." Alex stopped her and smiled when she saw Piper pulling her hair behind her ear for the 10th time as they were sitting down. "This bruschetta topping is the bomb. Have you made it before?"

"Um, no. I just got the recipe for it actually."

"Good choice."

They ate quietly for a while and Alex was increasingly aware of how anxious Piper was as she fussed over clearing the table and topping up drinks, not sitting still for too long. Alex tried to calm her a little with small talk about the food or how the construction work was progressing on the offices. She was conscious about brining work up as it might give cause to talk about PoPi or the rehab programme, so she tried to stick to safer topics. They finished their dessert and Piper was already clearing away the plates and insisting that Alex stay seated while she wash everything up.

"Pipes, please let me do that. You've done everything tonight and I'm starting to feel like a Diva sitting here. Come on, give me the drying job at least will you?" Piper relented and they cleared things away as Alex asked about how Piper was getting on at the gym lately. That seemed to take her mind off her nerves as she talked about the exercise classes she wanted to get involved with and the tension dissipated a little.

"So, um I thought we could watch a movie or something now. I've got some popcorn too."

Alex chuckled as she dried her hands on the towel and dropped it by the sink. "Only you would have an itinerary for a night in."

"That obvious huh?" Piper blushed and went to wipe the kitchen top again when Alex stopped her by stroking her arm.

"What is it?"

"Hmm?"

Alex took both of her hands in her own and turned Piper to face her. "You don't need to be nervous, OK?"

Piper scoffed and pulled her hands away. "You think I'm nervous?! Seriously?!"

"I do. But it's OK. There's nothing to be nervous about." Alex stroked her fingers over the blonde's back that she was now facing as Piper busied herself with pouring another glass of water.

"I'm not nervous Alex."

"Alright. Just seemed like you were. You can talk to me you know." Alex moved behind her again as Piper didn't turn to face her.

"I know." Piper relaxed into Alex's body as the taller woman nuzzled her hair as she spoke again.

"That was a really nice dinner you just cooked."

"Thank you. " Piper moved her arms over the top of Alex's, resting around her stomach.

"I'll let you do it again sometime."

"I might just do that, since you're such a well behaved guest."

"I am. Let me show you just how well-behaved I can be." Alex placed a sweet kiss below her ear before releasing her hold and taking Piper's hand, pulling her away from the kitchen. "Dance with me. But let me find something suitable…Wait right there OK?" Alex smiled and went to scroll through Piper's playlist, before grinning and looking up at Piper. "I can't believe you've got a 'cleaning tunes' playlist…" She turned the music up and hit play as the opening bars of Maxine Nightingale's 'Right back to where we started from' had Piper breaking into laughter. Alex sashayed back to her, theatrically miming the vocals and held her hand out to twirl Piper around. The pair of them mimicked some of the dance moves that Diane used to use when she was dancing to this on a Sunday morning whilst doing the dishes. Although Alex used to groan and roll her eyes when it was blaring through the kitchen so early on the weekend, Piper would join in and learn the moves, the pair of them comically singing into spoons and making Alex laugh as she waved them away from her. They span and shimmied their way through the song, laughing as they went until it faded and something slower came on.

Stopping in front of the sofa, Alex drew Piper closer to her. She moved her fingers slowly around the slim woman's hips, stroking her thumbs over the front of her pelvis. Piper reached up and slid her arms around the taller woman's neck, sliding her open fingers into the dark hair at the back of her head.

"That's the first time I've ever seen you willingly dance to that."

"Yeah, well you've had more than enough practice for both of us. Mom would be so proud of those zig-zag finger points." Alex grinned before leaning down to kiss Piper's forehead.

"I learned from the Master. That was fun." Piper pulled Alex towards her again for another kiss as the slow song played.

"Me too." Alex slipped her arms fully around Piper and pressed their bodies together as they swayed slowly. Piper leaned into the crook of Alex's neck and the taller woman rested her lips in her blonde hair as they moved slowly to the music.

"I've had a really nice night tonight with you Al."

"Yeah, it's been nice just the two of us."

"I was a bit nervous earlier…..I met with Julie this morning and she was suggesting things I could try to…you know….help us get closer. I had this whole night planned out that would end up with us trying some stuff…." Piper could feel her face heating up and was relieved Alex couldn't see it from her position.

"What kind of stuff?"

"Well….I brought some massage oils home."

"Massage? Hmm I like the sound of that." Alex stroked her fingertips in small circles over the top of Piper's tee shirt at the base of her back. "Were you looking for a volunteer? Because I've got to tell you, I'm an excellent volunteer for massage. You really won't find anyone more suited to the job." Alex carried on soothing Piper's back as the song changed to another slow one and Piper moved her hands to stroke Alex's neck gently.

"It was a suggestion from Julie. To help build trust and intimacy. You don't think it's a bit cliché?"

"No, I don't. I think it's a nice way to relax." Alex pulled away from Piper a little so she could see her face before continuing. "Pipes, is that why you were nervous before?"

"Yeah, I guess. Everything was leading up to that tonight. I just don't want you to feel like you're dating some 16 year old virgin."

Piper had expected Alex to laugh at that comment, but instead the brunette looked stern when she responded.

"I don't. Don't ever think that." Alex pulled back a little so she could see Piper's face, but the blue eyes were focused on something behind her.

"Piper, I mean that. Look at me please?"

The blonde sighed, angry with herself for saying anything because now Alex was making a big deal out of this.

"I want to be with you Pipes. I want to be there for you, to comfort you, look after you, to love you. I have no expectations for sex. Zero. You've been through a Hell of an ordeal and you need to get through that by working with Julie and getting this trial over with." Alex stroked her fingers across Piper's cheek, before tilting her chin up to look into her eyes.

"OK."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

"What is?"

"You don't want to sleep with me because I'm damaged. I get it." Piper shrugged before breaking free of her embrace and striding to turn the music off. "I'm pretty tired now, so I'm heading to bed. You can stay up and watch some TV if you like. There's still a few beers in the fridge." She turned to walk to the bathroom and close the door. Alex followed and stood at the other side of the door.

"Piper. I didn't say that. That's pretty much the exact opposite of what I was saying actually. Were you even listening to me back there?"

Only silence came from the other side of the door and Alex was damned if she was going to stand there pleading with the blonde to listen to an explanation for the second or third time that week. She went to get another beer out of the fridge and sat on Piper's bed, waiting for the blonde to return.

"I thought you were done with this?"

"What?"

"Jumping to the worst conclusions about me. I thought you said you'd try. That you'd communicate better and talk to me about things instead of going off at the deep end."

"I did say that and I'm listening." Piper stood in the doorway, arms crossed over the tee shirt she had changed into for bed.

"I'm not guilty until I prove myself innocent here. Can you just rewind a minute and think about what I just said in there? I said I wasn't rushing you. I said I was mindful of the trauma you've experienced. I said I want to be there for you and be with you."

"All of which I could get from a friend Alex."

"I don't understand why you're pissed with me? I thought that was exactly what you needed from me right now. Can you just tell me in plain words because I'm missing something here?"

Piper moved from the doorway to sit on the edge of the bed before speaking quietly.

"I don't want you to be my friend Alex….I want you to be my lover."

Alex stared back at her, the stinging sensation in her eyes eventually reminding her to blink.

"All of that support you just talked about is nice, great in fact. But I could get that from Julie, from Polly, Steve, Cal, or Pete for that matter."

Alex's eyes were searching for an answer that she didn't have and she stayed quiet.

"I want closeness Alex. I want intimacy…..I want to touch and be touched. I want to be wanted….desired…I want someone to look at me, feel me as though I were a stream of cool water in the desert. I want to feel your fingers running over my skin, lighting up every nerve ending and goose pimple as they glide over my body. I want you to look at me like I was the first meal you'd had in weeks and devour every inch of me. I want to feel your mouth against my ear, whispering the dirty things you're going to do to me and making me press my thighs together in anticipation."

Alex swallowed at hearing Piper's words. Her heart was beating furiously now and her breath was uneven as she heard Piper tell her that she wanted her. She wanted to be fucked by her.

"You have no idea what it feels like to be with you and know what you're capable of making my body feel. How you've nurtured it to respond and need your touch over years of fine tuning…Only to become a museum piece encased in a glass display, now only looked upon as an exhibit by the master musician…I want you to want me Alex. To want me like you used to want me. I want you to look at me with that lust and hunger in your eyes in a crowded room and know we'd be leaving for either a bathroom stall or the back seat of a car any moment."


	85. Chapter 85

**A/N: Hey! Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone, I had a wonderful day of relaxing and being spoiled - perfect! Sorry about the wait for this chapter - I think one or two people have been hopping from foot to foot waiting for the update LOL. Anyhow, hope you're all enjoying the party season and mulled alcohol at every opportunity already. Without further ado...**

Alex could hear her own heart beat pounding in her ears, competing for the air waves with Piper's words between them. The lamp beside the bed felt like a spotlight on her as Piper's blue eyes pierced into hers, challenging her from the opposite side of the bed. All she could think of was the many ways she wanted to touch and taste her girlfriend right now. Imagining what it would be like to take the lid off the caged heat she had been keeping contained and release it into this room right now. To release it through her fingers, her lips, her teeth, her thighs, her tongue, the movement of her wrist, the flexing of her bicep over and over again. She was sure the images were being beamed into Piper's mind through the gaze they held, as though a very x-rated movie with only two stars was being premiered.

Piper's words had released a flurry of butterflies in her stomach. In turn, they had unsettled the stallion that Alex was working hard to keep at bay as Piper went through her counselling. The stallion was prowling around her loins right now and threatening to break loose from the restraints, it's eyes on the prize perched on the edge of the bed not two strides away.

"Get over here."

Alex's words were low, commanding, and she didn't move a muscle from where she sat back against the headboard. Her eyes said more than her mouth and their meaning was fully understood by Piper. They said 'I'll always be the spider.'

Piper turned onto her hands and knees and began crawling towards Alex on the bed. When she was an arm length away, Alex leaned forward and stroked her fingers along Piper's neck, up into her hair and finally broke their intense staring to roam her green eyes over Piper's face, taking in every feature as she stroked her neck.

"You're so fucking beautiful." She spoke softly this time, moving her other hand to stroke her thumb over Piper's pink lips. Her face was close enough that Piper could feel her warm breath caressing her mouth. The blonde subconsciously adjusted her breathing so that she could inhale the warm breath from Alex, as though it would draw her lips closer to her mouth. Alex pressed her forehead against Piper's now and the blonde moved to kiss her, putting her lips against Alex's slowly. She tentatively sucked in Alex's lips, providing encouragement that the brunette didn't need to part them and allow Piper to move her mouth against hers. Piper pushed her long fingers into Alex's hair, scratching them across her scalp and pulling her closer. Alex hummed her approval at the enthusiasm the blonde was demonstrating to deepen the kiss when she felt her tongue manoeuvre over her own. Moving her hands down to Piper's waist, Alex was reminded that her girlfriend was only in her tee shirt and panties now. She felt suddenly very over dressed for the occasion and broke away from the kiss, leaving Piper's lips parted in frustration.

"Wait there."

Alex kept her eyes fixed on Piper's again as she stepped back off the bed and moved her fingers to the waistband of her jeans. She unbuttoned the fly slowly and pushed them down her long legs until she could kick them off. Then she moved her hands back up her thighs and took hold of the hem of her cashmere top. Crossing her arms, she slowly tugged the material upwards and lifted it over her head, dropping in on the floor next to her discarded jeans. That left her in a tee shirt, bra and panties by Piper's reckoning and her heart hammered in her chest, wondering if Alex would continue to strip off the increasing offending garments. Their crime, to be covering the very parts of Alex she wanted to see most right now.

Instead, Alex smirked and made her way back onto the bed with her long legs kneeling in front of Piper, mirroring her position. She moved her hand back into the hair at the base of Piper's neck and leaned in to kiss just below her ear, then slowly moved her lips across the sensitive skin, kissing the length of her neck before moving back up to her jaw. She placed slow, open-mouthed kisses along her jaw until she met Piper's lips. Brushing her own lips across Piper's she dodged Piper's attempts to deepen the kiss, managing to hold the blonde at bay teasingly. When she finally spoke again, her eyes were closed and she was speaking through kisses to Piper's neck, collarbone, ear, cheeks, and eyes.

"I desire you Piper Chapman…..I desire you more than you will ever be able to understand…and I will never have the words to describe it….I desire you with a thirst that is unquenchable…No how matter how much I had you, I know that thirst will never be sated….." She continued to place open-mouthed kisses along the pulse point of Piper's neck. Her other hand moved to rest at Piper's waist and stroked circles over her tee shirt.

"You _are_ my cold, clear, river running through the desert…You're the river I want to drink from….to drown in….to taste you…I want to taste you so fucking much." Alex pressed her lips against Piper's and immediately sought out the taste of her with her tongue. Both women were moaning as their tongues battled for dominance in the heat of the exchange.

Piper pushed Alex back to lie on the bed, moving to lie on top of her as they continued their kiss. Propping herself up on one elbow, she moved to lie on her side and slipped her thigh up to stroke it between Alex's knees. Alex smiled into their kiss as she felt Piper move her hands down over her tee shirt and stroke her breasts. When Piper's thigh inched higher and reached her apex, Alex's breath hitched as she felt Piper squeeze her breast with her palm. Alex took hold of Piper's hand from her chest and flipped their position so she was over the top of the blonde now.

"I think I agreed to give you a demonstration of my desire for you Ms Chapman." Alex whispered hotly into her ear.

"Mmmm…." Piper squirmed beneath her as Alex sat back and pressed her core onto Piper's as she straddled her.

She tossed her dark hair back over her shoulder as she moved her hips slowly back and forth over Piper's, watching as the woman beneath her moved to grip onto her thighs. Alex moved her fingertips just underneath the hem of Piper's shirt and pushed it up slightly, stroking the taught skin on her abdomen in slow movements as she moved her hands slightly higher with each pass.

Piper moved her fingertips further up Alex's thighs to the waistband of her panties and pushed her index underneath slightly. Alex smirked and moved her hips back away from Piper's reach.

"You wanted to be desired remember? I'm going to show you the many ways I desire you tonight." Alex leaned down and kissed Piper's stomach. She pushed the tee shirt up further and continued a trail of open-mouthed kisses up towards her breasts. As she went higher, Alex adjusted her position and placed her hand on Piper's hips, her fingers pushing her panties up slightly. Pulling her hands out from underneath Piper's top, she pulled the tee shirt back down and moved to touch Piper's breasts over the top of it, palming them as she kissed her extended neck against the pillow.

"I want you so fucking much right now. I want to see all of you and I want to feel your skin against mine without barriers…..But you're not ready are you?"

"Alex, I am. It's OK. I just got a little surprised when you touched my hips earlier. I won't do that again. Please….just carry on…I'll be OK." Piper pulled her back towards her to kiss her again. Alex opened her mouth against Piper's and softly sucked her tongue into her mouth as they leisurely made out again. Piper moved her hands to palm Alex's breasts again, encouraging the taller woman to press into her more.

Alex pulled back a little to lie on her side facing her before soothing her blonde hair back. "Let's make a deal. A wager. A promise, whatever you want to call it. You wanted to try a massage tonight, so let's do that. Let's stick with your original plan and see how we go."

"Alex, I said it was OK! I just need to push through it."

Alex smiled. "Nu-uh. I'm not really into ravishing you when we're _pushing through_ it. I want to do that when you're hungry for it. When you're properly ready and not gritting your teeth in the hope you'll enjoy it. I don't feel right to make love to you when you're all tense and screwing your eyes up. It would be weird…..I want to….I _really want_ to Pipes. But I want us both to take our time and savour it…..OK, Here's the deal. No sex until next weekend after we've been to see Julie _together_ and you tell me you're still ready then."

"Alex! I'm horny right now!" Piper threw her head back onto the pillow dramatically.

"Me too Pipes. But here's the fun part. That's our only rule. We can go as far as you want before that and build up to next weekend. That way, we get to explore and push things a bit by developing that trust and intimacy without the sex part."

"Oh my God, that's even worse! You're going to torture me for a whole week?!"

"Technically, it's less since your meeting with Julie is on Friday, right?"

"Yes….but what the fuck am I supposed to do with all this sexual tension right now?!"

"I'll massage it out of you…" Alex smirked as she leaned in to kiss her.

"Are you going to massage it out of my pussy?" Piper raised her eyebrow.

Alex simply raised hers in response.

"What? Technically, that's not sex….Yeah, I know. I'm not really ready for that."

"Mmm-hmmm. Go get those massage oils and I'll light some candles then."

Piper brought a couple of massage oils back as well as a couple of bottles of water and Alex lit some candles and turned the light out.

"See? Romancey enough for you?"

"Romancey? And I thought you could read. Masseuse or massee ?"

"Touche! Masseuse for me please. I have a demonstration to finish for my hot and sexy girlfriend. She's _very_ demanding." Alex grinned as she examined the bottles and held them up for Piper to choose. "Papaya and mint or eucalyptus and jasmine?"

"Papaya."

"Excellent choice Madame."

"Thank you. Oooh, I'm looking forward to this now." Piper smiled as Alex poured some oil into her palm before rubbing her hands together.

"Me too…..Especially the part where you take that top off _very slowly_ and I get to ogle your tits." Alex waggled her oily fingers in a 'honking boobs' meme.

Piper chuckled a little before walking on her knees towards Alex.

"Before I do that…..Thank you." Piper reached up to kiss her chastely on the lips.

"What for?"

"Making this fun."

"Don't think I didn't want to absolutely devour you just now. I'm soooo going to enjoy the foreplay this week. Starting right now….. Strip Chapman…and take it slow. I'm taking this for my spank bank." Alex winked and sat back on her heels as Piper wriggled back on the bed to kneel at the opposite end.

"OK. Ready?"

"For the last 4 years." Alex replied huskily, rubbing her hands up and down her naked thighs.

Piper held her gaze on the emerald irises in front of her and slowly brought her hands down over her body, rubbing them back and forth over her tits and pushing the perky mounds together as Alex smiled. Her nipples rose and pushed out the material as piper grazed her finger tips around them, emphasizing their stiffness.

"I may already be regretting that decision to start the foreplay tonight." Alex groaned as Piper moved her hands down to begin lifting her tee shirt up. As she pulled it over her head, Alex was entranced by the body in front of her. Able to properly soak in Piper's naked upper body for the first time, her mouth went dry.

"You give me goose bumps when you look at me like that."

"I think you know exactly what you're giving me and the fact that it isn't going to be an orgasm might actually kill me tonight. Can I massage the tension from your tits?"

Piper chuckled. "Nope. I'll be lying on these babies." Piper grasped them and turned around. "I didn't make the rules Vause." She settled down to lie on her front and Alex moved closer to straddle the top of her legs as she touched the base of Piper's back with her oiled hands, moving them gently up towards her shoulders.

As her hands soothed and warmed the muscles in Piper's back, Alex eventually felt the blonde properly relax beneath her touch and it felt good to see that. Rather than pushing through the tension and feeling like they were nervous teenagers, this felt natural. It felt like an important step for them and Piper wasn't hesitant about taking her top off in from of her this time. She seemed somehow more confident….more sexy. It was like she wanted to turn Alex on and show herself to the dark haired woman now caressing her back. It had made Alex's heart skip when she saw Piper touching herself like that in front of her. It was the closest they had come to rekindling that equality in the bedroom and she was hopeful that Piper would feel the same as the week went on. She had waited for 4 years to touch Piper again, to love her with her body and feel her respond under her caress. Waiting another 6 days to make that first time special and to make sure Piper felt good about it was a small price to pay.

Alex worked the knots and the tension out of the muscles in Piper's back, putting pressure into her fingers to move the toxins through the lymphatic system. Piper was moaning and groaning beneath her in a different kind of ecstasy, but Alex enjoyed the contact just as much as she worked over her body. They traded places and Piper found several knots around Alex's shoulders and neck, working diligently to break them down carefully as the dark haired woman winced beneath her. It took a long time to break them down and Piper worked to gently soothe over the muscles by gently running her fingers up and down her long pale back.

"This wasn't the kind of tension you might have wanted to work out of you earlier, but you definitely needed those bad boys gone Al. I'm surprised you could move with those hitch hikers on your back….Al?" Piper looked down to see that her girlfriend had fallen into a deep sleep beneath her and she smiled to herself as the carefully climbed off her legs to stand. Wiping the oil off her before towelling herself, Piper blew the remaining candles out and pulled the covers over both of them. Piper lay on the pillow beside her sleeping girlfriend and moved her eyes over the pale skin along her back as it faced her. She moved her fingertips over the top of it slowly, then stroked the dark hair away from her shoulder. Alex stirred a little and Piper moved herself to lie behind her, pressing her body to mould around Alex, the dark haired woman reaching for Piper's hand and pulling it around her to hold it to her chest. Piper smiled and kissed Alex's back. It felt so good to have their skin in contact as they went to sleep and Piper pulled her closer still before resting her lips against her shoulder.

XXXXX

Piper woke up first the next morning, with Alex's arms wrapped around her. She could feel Alex breathing deeply behind her, so she knew the brunette was still sleeping soundly. Piper put her arms over the top of Alex's embrace, as though holding her in place to maintain that feeling for as long as she could. She knew she had to get up as she was running the store today, but she wanted to make Alex breakfast before she left. Leaving it as late as se dared to, she gently released herself from Alex's arms and left her asleep as she put her robe on and went into the kitchen. She made some pancakes with strawberries and blueberries, drizzling maple syrup over the top. She put them onto a tray along with a fresh pot of coffee and a flower from the bouquet Alex brought her last night and took it into the bedroom. She put the tray down on the bed and Alex stirred, creasing her brow as her senses deciphered the smells and sounds she was suddenly aware of.

"Good morning beautiful." Piper leaned in to capture Alex's lips as soon as her eyes were opening.

"Hey. You're on the wrong side of these covers. Get back under here." Alex pulled her towards her, making Piper laugh.

"Believe me, there's absolutely nowhere I'd rather be than in there with you right now. But I'm still making up with Polly, so I'm working all weekend I'm afraid. I've already sacrificed the gym and a shower to sleep in later with you. You're too cute to leave." Piper kissed her again and Alex pulled her in for a longer make out session.

"I am, so call in sick." Alex grinned.

"You know I can't do that. Every sale counts right now."

"I know….Is that for me?" Alex nodded to the tray.

"Yeah. Compensation for your loss of my company."

"Breakfast in bed? I can't remember the last time I had this."

"That's because you were always up before me. But I did it a couple of times when we were in London for a month when I was up early because of jet lag. I made you croissants with marmalade."

"I do remember. You put dandelions in a vase." Alex smiled as they both remembered happier times.

"See. I can be _romancey_." Piper grinned and passed the tray over to Alex before getting up to get dressed. She automatically picked up her clothes and was on her way to the door to change in the bathroom when she stopped herself. She turned back around and went to stand at the end of the bed, taking her robe off and putting her bra and sweater on as Alex half-heartedly tried not to watch.

"Don't drool on my bed sheets Al."

"I make no promises while you're doing that. I prefer to watch you taking them off to be honest, but I'll take this."

Piper relaxed a little and told herself it was something she did every day and to stop overthinking the audience. She pulled her panties on and put a pair of leggings over them before straightening her hair and applying some make up.

"These are delicious, thank you. Do you want me to drop you off at work?"

"No, it's OK. Take your time. I can leave my key and you can drop it off later at the store. Maybe come in for some lunch?"

"I'm on a soap free diet these days. You mean you want me to bring you some?" Alex snarked as she stuffed another mouthful of fruit into her mouth.

"That would be nice." She pulled her boots on and grabbed her coat before coming over to kiss Alex again. "Only if you haven't got plans though. Can I see you later?"

"Well, you can…..but I sort of promised to go out with the girls from work to Gotham. You want to come with me?"

"Yeah, let's do that. Is Nicky going to be there?"

"Depends if me saying yes will put you off."

Piper chuckled. "No, I'm pretty keen regardless."

"Great. I'll call in later with something to eat then. Have a nice day darling!" Alex winked and quickly flashed her boobs at Piper before covering up and picking up her mug, grinning from ear to ear.

XXXXX

Alex stayed at PoPi for an hour when she took some hot pork rolls in for them to eat and they agreed to meet up at Gotham at 7pm that night with everyone else.

Since Piper was the only one working on Sunday, the rest of them met up a bit earlier in Sandy's and played some pool. Alex knew Pier wouldn't want to go there and the place didn't feel the same to her since what happened, but the rest of the girls liked the vibe and the pool table was a sure bet to get the banter going. She was teamed with Nicky and they were paired against Poussey and Lorna, the latter of the opposition not being particularly interested in understanding either the rules or which colour she should be aiming for. If Poussey had any hair, she would be tearing it out and Nicky was loving how easy it was for them to beat Poussey for once. Poussey didn't hide her relief when Lorna excused herself from the next game to take a call from her boyfriend, Christopher.

"NOW, I'll show you who is boss. Line em up Nick!" She chalked her cue and Alex went to get some beers. She returned to find Nicky with a face like thunder and a group of guys playing at their table.

"What's up with you? Did those jocks beat you with a single shot and we lost the table?" Alex slid into the booth across from her stony faced friend and passed her a beer.

"No. Poussey's College chick came in and suddenly she's all heart eyes and goofy grins."

"Where is she?"

"Over there. Just follow the line of drool."

"Oh…..that explains your dagger eyes."

"What? We lost the table man!"

"We can get it back."

"Not before we've got to head over to Gotham so you can make heart eyes with blondie." Nicky rolled her eyes.

"Ah, it's the heart eyes you're pissed at, not the pool table." Alex took a drink of her beer.

"No, it's not that. This is supposed to be a night out with the crew you know? It was our little group night and now everyone's either ditching us or bringing along their own people. It's killing the dynamic you know?"

"Nicky, you can't close the circle on new people joining. It's not a committee you know. The whole reason that circle exists is because we invited new people along. Everyone's gonna drift in and out at times. We've all got our own shit to deal with and sometimes it's nice to get to know other people. Come on, don't put a downer on it. Drink up will you?"

"Well you would say that. You've got Chapman haven't you?"

"I do." Alex tried really hard to contain the grin that was creeping into her facial muscles. She quickly took another drink from the bottle, but Nicky had already seen it.

"Calm your tits Vause. Save it for the shotgun wedding. Things are good with you two at the moment then?"

"Yeah."

"Are you seeing her much?"

"The last 2 nights I have, then again tonight….and we had lunch today."

"Sounds serious."

"It is. I mean, it always was….but it always will be with us…..It's kinda hard to explain."

"It's OK. I'd prefer it if you didn't explain. Those heart eyes are already threatening to break out. Are we eating at Gotham? We'd better finish up to head over there if we're walking." Nicky downed her bottle before they let Poussey know where they were heading.

Nicky and Alex were in a booth talking when Piper walked through the door. She had been home to shower and change before meeting them and she was wearing a short black dress with patent black heels. Alex had been watching the door every time it opened and Nicky saw on her face that Piper had arrived even with her back to the door.

"I could be telling you I've got a hideous STI right now and you'd nod and smile back at me." Nicky shook her head as Alex shuffled over in the booth to make space for her.

"Hey." Piper leaned down to kiss Alex on the cheek.

"Hey. You smell good." Alex inhaled deeply against Piper's neck while holding her hips.

"Thanks. Hey Nicky Nicholls." Piper moved over to hug Nicky before putting her coat down next to Alex.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Nicky was just telling me that she's got a terrible case of genital herpes and I was just trying to work out how she managed that when she's not got laid for at least a month. You want to join in with the Guess Who flip cards I'm working my way through?" Alex grinned as she pulled Piper closer and kissed her hair.

"Fuck off. I didn't say anything about herpes."

"Didn't have to. I remember that face from the last time you got it."

"Again. Fuck. Off…..I'm getting a drink. What are you having Piper?"

"A bottle of water please. No glass."

"I'll have-."

"You're having a glass of piss from the men's urinals." Nicky went to the bar, leaving the two of them alone.

"You look nice."

"Thanks."

"And by 'nice' I mean smoking hot." Alex husked, waggling her eyebrows.

"I aim to please."

"I look forward to you proving it."

"Pity you have to wait so long."

"There are many ways in which you can please me Piper, many ways."

"Oh yeah? And are you going to describe them to me Alex?"

"Yeah, I will describe them….You can start by undoing the top button on that dress….." Alex reached over to show her exactly how that job should be done when Poussey arrived with her girlfriend. They shuffled up the booth a bit more to squeeze in and Lorna came back with Nicky from the bar.

"Guess you'll have to explain how I am to please you a little later Al." Piper whispered into her ear before taking her water from Nicky.

They got the menus and looked at ordering some food when Taystee arrived with her boyfriend.

"It's getting damned cosy around here all of a sudden." Lorna shuffled up some more from the edge and there was barely enough room for everyone to sit down now.

"It's OK. There's a booth on the opposite side over there, we'll just go and eat over-." Taystee started before Nicky interrupted her.

"Fuck that. We came out tonight as a team and we're fucking staying as one. Get cosy people." Nicky waved her hand to instruct everyone to shuffle some more.

Alex laughed and pulled Piper to sit across her lap, leaning back against the far wall so she could move right along now.

"Ah, Al! I can't sit like this all night, your legs will go numb!" Piper tried to struggle free but Alex held her thigh.

"Sure you can. See?" The dark haired woman pulled her in for a kiss.

"Oh, Piper. You can't sit like that. Really, we'll just move to another table."

Piper smiled and put her arms around Alex's neck as they sat together at the end of the table. "It's OK. Alex is using it as an excuse to look down the top of my dress anyway. It's a win / win as far as she's concerned." Alex just grinned and went back to choosing some food from the menu.

XXXXX

Piper had a meeting with Sarah on Monday to talk about controlling her temper and told Alex she was making a bigger effort to go to the gym while the court case was going on. Alex was really supportive of that idea and they made plans to meet up after she was finished with classes or one-to-ones with Jess every night.

On Wednesday, Piper got a call from Steve while she was out getting everyone some lunch from a café a couple of blocks away. After a couple of minutes going through the pleasantries of asking about the welfare of respective families, Piper found herself holding breath for whatever Steve was really calling her about.

"I know this isn't a call to get Grandma's eggnog recipe Steve….It's OK. What is it you really need to tell me? Is it about the court case?"

"I've been called to give my witness testimony tomorrow."

Piper had the air sucked from her lungs and was unable to articulate any acknowledgement of Steve's words. He let it sink in for a while before checking she was still on the line.

"I just thought you should know…in case your Lawyer hasn't already told you I mean….."

Piper's head was spinning and she couldn't grasp a single of the many words going through her mind to settle on an emotion at this point.

"Piper? I'm not expecting you to be there….In fact, maybe you'd rather not hear it…"

The thought of putting her head in the sand was immediately appealing, but she snapped out of her frozen state.

"Are you nervous?" She croaked after another silence.

"Yeah…..I've never done anything like this before…I mean, I've sat in the Gallery and watched….But….yeah…..nervous is an understatement right now."

Piper felt tears prick in her eyes and she pinched the bridge of her nose to try and stop the stinging sensation.

"You'll be OK. You're only telling the truth right?" She knew it was obvious and she didn't mean it to sound like a question, but she hadn't realised she needed the reassurance that Steve was on her side in this.

"I know. It's just the facts. I just…Doesn't matter. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know."

She finished their call and walked back to the store in a daze. She told Polly about it and her friend did exactly what friends do and reassured her that Steve would be just fine. When Piper couldn't shake the racing mind, Polly insisted she leave early and head over to the gym to work off some steam instead of over-analysing.

XXXXX

It was the middle of the week before Alex decided to have another conversation with Red. She knew Piper was avoiding asking about it and she was glad that it wasn't a topic of conversation, but they were both only pretending it wasn't a really big deal for them. PoPi was struggling and they needed the investment, so Alex couldn't just refuse to acknowledge the elephant in the room. Red hadn't tried to call her since their meeting last week, the Russian lady knowing better than to force the issue with Alex.

Deciding a face-to-face was better, Alex drove over to see her in the afternoon unannounced. Red was going through some files in the reception area when Alex came in and she immediately nodded towards her office so the two could have some privacy.

"She's my girlfriend Red." Alex surprised Red with the bluntness of the simple statement. The Russian had known Alex for a few years now and had never heard her mention anything about having a girlfriend before. She had always got the impression from Nicky that the dark-haired girl didn't like attachments and preferred the simplicity of hook-ups. It wasn't a lifestyle that Red understood, but Alex was straight-talking and no-nonsense in business, why shouldn't she be the same in her private life?

"I assumed you were close." Red opted to sit on the small sofa next to Alex, rather than at her desk across the room.

"What you're asking me to do, by taking over the investment….It's not an option."

"You don't like her as much as she thinks you do?" Red queried, wondering if she had misread this.

Alex sighed and shook her fingers through her hair, hating this whole talking about feelings conversation that the two business acquaintances were suddenly having.

"That's got nothing to do with this. It's a business deal I don't want a part of."

"It's got everything to do with this Vause. Maybe you like her pretty blonde head between your legs nice enough, but you're not going to lead her on with anything that involves any commitment from you. Am I close?"

Alex shot her a look. "No, you're not."

"You think it's a bad investment? Have you seen the figures they are projecting on this internet deal?" Red was starting to wonder if Alex knew something more about the finances than she was letting on.

"I've seen them. Not like you have, but I know where they want to go with this and realistic. I mean, they aren't inflating those to make it look better. It's honest and strategic growth over a period of years they are looking at."

"Then what's your problem with it? What are you not telling me? I don't lie to you Alex and I want to know my money isn't at risk right now."

Alex rubbed her face with her fingers. "This thing with Piper is new, but it's serious Red. You might think she's a pretty blonde with a temper, but you've only met her twice. She's a lot more than that. She's smart, she likes everything to be ethically sourced and she's determined to make it with this business. They both put a lot of effort into that presentation, making sure everything was backed up with evidence and you know they need that investment to keep things going in the right direction. What you have sort of seen is how strong willed Piper is. She's fiercely independent and she will not want me investing my money in her business because she doesn't want to feel like she's getting a hand out. With you, it's a legitimate business decision, but with me it would be her girlfriend suddenly becoming her boss." Alex shrugged, not wanting to go into any more detail.

"Have you asked her if she'd rather the business went under or take your help? It's a simple enough question Alex, but did you ask it?"

"No. But I don't need to."

Red took a breath, ready to give some more communication advice, but Alex stopped her by raising her hand.

"Look, I don't expect or need you to understand. I just wanted to try and explain the reason I left last week. It would fuck things up for me and Piper if you forced my hand on this right now. I know we need to look at what will happen long term, but can you just come to an agreement with me today for approving the investment capital as planned with PoPi?"

"What about the rehab programme?"

"I've got Tricia and Brooke working there while we refurb the offices to make more room. They're on my payroll. Can we continue that arrangement if we say they are there for customer service training or something? On your books, they are still working at my place. Lorna is still mentoring them weekly so everything is above board."

Red was pensive as she considered if this was all above board and finally nodded her head. "Alright Alex. You've never let me down, so I trust you know what you're doing with this. I can see my money is safer if the investment goes ahead anyway. Do you want to look into those Bambi eyes and give her the news?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "You're the investor. You tell them, both of them together when you've got the money in place to approve it. They could use some good news right now." She stood and straightened out her skirt as she went to the door to leave. "Thanks Red. I appreciate your support on this." Alex smiled, genuinely grateful that no further explanation was needed.

"You've helped me out plenty Vause and you look after my girls. It's the least I can do. Here, take this baklava home for blondie. She could use some fat on her bones that one." Red handed her the cake before shooing her out of the building with it.


	86. Chapter 86

**A/N: Hello! I decided to split what might have been a very big chapter into two smaller ones. I'm still writing the next and really hope to have it ready for Christmas weekend for you. In the meantime, I hope this keeps you warm like a snuggly hot chocolate in front of a Christmas movie ;-)**

Alex called to pick Piper up from the store on Wednesday night so they arrived at Alex's place together. For the duration of the journey, Alex had been telling her about the many applications that Lorna had received for some logistics junior management positions that they had created as a result of Piper's suggestion. The qualifications were fancy, but the experience was thin on the ground as it was mainly recent graduates. As Alex started to question whether it was too much of a risk to hire new graduates, Piper shrugged.

"Well I'm sure you'll find the right person eventually."

"Yeah, I know we'll get there. But what if they actually haven't got a clue what they're doing?"

"You can train them."

"Doesn't that defeat the object of all of those fancy letters after their name?"

"I don't know Alex. You're the expert."

They walked through the front door and Piper dropped her coat onto the hook and kicked her shoes off.

"What's up with you tonight? You're quiet." Alex opened the cupboards to make a quick chicken salad for them both.

"Nothing."

"Something then. What's happened today to make you so grumpy?" Alex poured a glass of white wine and held it up to ask if Piper wanted any.

"No thanks. I'll get some water." She dropped onto the chair by the kitchen top and rested her chin into her hands. "Steve's giving evidence tomorrow."

"Ah, OK." Alex poured some ice into a glass and filled it with water, handing it to Piper before kissing her on the forehead.

"Are you worried about it?"

"I know I shouldn't be."

Alex passed Piper some salad to cut up while she cooked the chicken breasts. "Have you spoken to him?"

"Yeah, he called me earlier."

"I don't know why he has to tell you that. He's just stressing you out when there's absolutely nothing you can do." Alex shook her head and clenched her jaw at Steve purging his worry onto someone who had more than enough to worry about already.

"I'm not going to hide away from it Al. I'd rather know than find out later."

They continued to cook and eat, Piper going over the different outcomes from what might happen with Steve's testimony and Alex trying to convince her to not overthink it. By the time they had finished their meal and Piper was tidying the plates away, Alex had enough of hearing about it.

"So….it's what, 9pm now? You've decided you're going to court tomorrow. You've not only thought about Steve's testimony, but now you're filling in what the other women might say and you've never even met them. What time tonight are you going to give this up and start to relax?"

"I know you're sick of hearing about it…." Piper sighed and pushed the dishwasher to start before walking to join Alex by the sink.

"It's not that I'm sick of hearing about it Pipes. It gets you wound up and you have nowhere to put that anger at 9 o'clock, except to toss and turn in bed and worry about things you can't change. I can't do or say anything to help you, except change the subject and help you relax." Alex took Piper's hands by her side.

"Shall I come with you to court tomorrow?"

Piper leaned in to kiss her on the lips, then kiss along Alex's jaw. "No, it's fine. It will be boring and I know you've got loads to do with the interviews already."

"Do you want me to be there with you though?" Alex leaned down to look her in the eye.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'll probably only be there for a couple of hours anyway. I'll see you afterwards. We're at my place tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. Make sure Steve the puppy doesn't follow you home."

XXXXX

Piper arranged to meet with her Lawyer in the morning before the case to catch up on recent events and took a seat at the back of the gallery benches when the case was to be heard. She glanced around her fellow observers, wondering if any of Darryl's other victims were among them. Hush fell amongst them as the Judge came to be seated and Piper listened to the all-too familiar introductions of processes and terminology only known by legal eagles. Before long, her attention was focused on the witness stand, as Steve walked up to take his sworn statement to tell the truth. He looked determined and seemed to deliberately avoid looking beyond the person asking the questions at any time. The prosecution were asking the questions first and the tone was professional but allowed Steve to keep to facts. It had been hard listening to the answers, the first time she had heard it in such graphic detail. She forced herself to listen, convincing herself that it would help strengthen her own resolve if she had to take the stand herself. They broke for lunch and Piper walked to a store around the corner to grab a salad, picking up a message from Alex when she switched her phone on. She returned the call as she sat in her car, sheltering from the cold reality of the case.

"Hey Pipes. How's it going?"

"Good. I think it's good. He seems confident up there at least."

"Ok….Is he finished?"

"No. The defence lawyer is cross-examining when we go back after the break."

"The hard part is still to come then."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah….it's just hard hearing about it you know….."

"I can imagine….If it gets too much, just take a break outside. Listen Pipes, I have to go. We've got a few interviews to do yet. I'll see you later OK?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you later. Bye."

Piper went back into the court room to hear the prosecution question Steve. His earlier confidence was soon shaken when the grey-haired prosecutor had him admit that he had been friends with Darryl for some years and had never seen him be anything less than gentlemanly in front of women before. Steve's attempted protest to counter that statement was cut off with another loaded question about whether Darryl had asked if Piper was single. Steve responded to say that he'd told Darryl she was and the prosecutor proceeded to conjure an image of a successful, handsome professional man on a night out with friends to have a good time. Piper balled her fists at how the facts were being twisted and her stomach was in knots as she saw Steve's earlier determination crumble into desperate please to correct the prosecutor's interpretation of his testimony. Steve's account of finding Darryl on top of Piper around the back of the bar was particularly hard to hear this morning, but it was cut off an analysed differently at every turn this time. He was confident in leaving Darryl and Piper to get to know each other. He was angry that Darryl had been successful with the woman he had long held a torch for. He set out to make it look like what was happening in the alley wasn't consensual because he couldn't stand the thought of his childhood sweetheart choosing his best friend over him. Steve was furious and stood abruptly in the stand to refute the statements vociferously. Steve was warned over his conduct and it took a couple of minutes to calm things down. In the midst of him taking a drink of water as the prosecutor checked his notes, Piper caught his eye. He looked crestfallen to see Piper there in the gallery and she was at a loss for what to convey back to him with her small smile of encouragement. She could sense he was losing his composure and the case was being turned on it's head. She had been in those shoes herself and the end result was as bad as it could get.

She waited for Steve at the end of the day to reassure him, but it was difficult to draw positives from the day and they could both sense it.

"The prosecution are paid to do that. It's not over yet. There's hard evidence that they have to take into account."

"I'm really sorry Piper. I…don't know what happened up there. I just fell apart…..I did loads of preparation with my Lawyer to stick to the facts and not get emotional….but when he was twisting my words in there…..I just….couldn't sit and let him talk like that is what happened."

Piper hugged him hard and rubbed his back. "It's alright. This case doesn't hang on just today. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're not on trial here remember."

"You sound like you've done this before."

Piper released him and smiled. "That's because I am the expert here. Are you coming back tomorrow?"

"No. I've switched a lot of shifts around to save my holidays so I have to get back to work. It's testimony from a couple of his other friends tomorrow. A couple of guys from work and someone he plays football with. I guess it's a character witness thing. Are you OK?"

"I'm OK. I'm more worried about you. Please try not to overthink it. Just be glad it's over with OK? I'll let you know when I get called. See you Steve." Piper leaned to hug him hard again and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks and sorry." Steve smiled weakly before walking to his car, shoulders slumped.

XXXXX

Piper was preparing some sauce for a steak dinner when Alex came around later.

"I'm so glad you're already doing dinner. I'm starving!" Alex hung her coat and dropped her bag in Piper's room before joining her in the kitchen.

"I'm glad you're hungry because I've followed a recipe for four people with this sauce."

"Need a hand with anything?"

"Can you set the table please?"

"Sure….How'd it go this afternoon? Any better?"

"Worse. Way worse. But it was expected I guess. The prosecution ripped him apart."

"And _that_ is why puppies might be cute to look at, but rubbish at confrontation."

"Don't be cruel Alex. Most people would crumble in that environment." Piper put the steaks into the hot pan while Alex uncorked a bottle of red wine.

"Did he cry?" Alex rolled her eyes.

"No he didn't. Will you give him a break please? He's my friend and I won't have you talking about him like that. Especially when he saved me from that bastard raping me."

"OK. Fair point. I'll stop kicking the puppy." Alex mock surrendered and Piper pointed at the plates for her to put the salad out.

They ate their dinner in comfortable conversation. Alex told her about the candidates they had seen today and Piper was pleased they had some appointable people in to see them.

"So, I was wondering if you or Polly might be on the panel for the next stage of the process? I've asked them to prepare a presentation on strategy for managing European contracts from 3 New York offices."

"You want us to help you with the interviews?"

"Yeah. You have a different perspective and it's good to get someone external on the panel. You'll think of things we might not."

"I'd love to! Polly would be up for it too. Wait – _three_ New York sites? I thought you had two?"

"We're thinking we might need another. The French contract has been confirmed and Bill's guys are struggling for space. With us expanding the office space in our place, we have less space for storage already. It's just an idea at the moment, but getting their strategy ideas would be good."

Piper cleared the plates away and Alex went to change into some yoga pants and a tight black tee shirt. Piper brought her another glass of wine to the sofa and a glass of iced water for herself. Alex pulled her in to rest her head against her shoulder as Piper put the TV on. They sat watching the Late Show for a while before Piper nudged Alex to lie back so that she could lie against her.

"Everything OK?" Alex tried to peer over her glasses to see if Piper was still watching the TV.

"Yeah…..just thinking is all."

"About the court case?"

"No…..I'm not actually. Just thinking about tomorrow."

"So…." Alex started.

"So….?"

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

Piper smiled and hugged Alex tighter. "Yes. Are you?"

"Yeah I am. Are you nervous?"

"No. Not nervous. Excited I think. But then I don't want Julie to say something that might make me nervous….or make you say we have to wait again."

"I don't think it's up to Julie to be fair. We have the final say in anything. Besides, you've been really good at waiting this week." Alex grinned as Piper lifted her head and scowled at her.

"One last night of innocence then?"

"Innocence you say? I can't promise any of that." Alex lowered her tone as she ran her fingers beneath the bottom of Piper's shirt to stroke her back. Piper giggled and inched her body up so she could lean on her elbows above Alex.

"I don't want you to." She husked before dipping her head to press her lips against those smiling beneath her. "Honesty? Yes. Innocence…..not so much." Piper smiled as she nipped at Alex's bottom lip with her own.

"Mmmm." Alex moved her hands underneath Piper to stroke her fingers over her stomach. "I think that's a deal I can deliver on."

Piper sat back on her haunches, knees either side of Alex's hips. She ran her fingers over the brunettes' warm cheeks.

"Alex…..I feel like this is a new start for us."

Alex ran her palms up and down the thighs that stretched over her body, smiling in agreement.

"I think I want it to be a new start. I need to know you can forgive me for Paris and we can move on from that." Alex started to protest, but Piper silenced her with her index over the words. "Please. Let me get this out. I'm so sorry I did that to you Al. I had to force myself to fall out of love with you by walking away and I did that by convincing myself that I couldn't possibly be in love with someone who would let me put myself in danger. I never stopped loving you and walking away from you like that broke me. Apologetic words aren't coming close to explaining how I feel…but I just need to know you can find it inside yourself to trust me again….to love me again." Piper held her breath as she searched the green eyes watching her intently.

"Alex, I…I'm falling in love with you." Piper pushed the words out in a breath. Holding onto them was becoming a daily struggle to not admit how she felt about the woman beneath her. By not admitting it, she felt like she was hiding something from Alex and she wanted to start their new day without secrets. Emerald eyes were sharply focused on hers now and she took another breath, feeling that she's broken the barrier a little already. "I love you Alex."

Alex reached up to pull Piper down to lie against her chest. "C'mere." Was all she whispered. She moved her hands so one was pressed tightly around Piper's back and pushed her fingers into the blonde hair that fell over her face, pushing it back and pulling her tightly to her chest at the same time. They lay like that for a while, both women clinging to one another like life rafts in a choppy sea and neither willing to release the other first.

"I never thought I'd hear those words from you again." Alex's voice sounded tight and Piper reached up to touch her face to soothe and reassure her she was listening. Her temple was wet and Piper closed her eyes again and snuggled closer to her, inhaling the unique scent of Alex's skin against her face. She stroked her hands across her cheek, wiping away the tears and shifted to move back to regard Alex face to face.

"I love you Alex. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything in my life. I need you to hear that. I need you to know….to understand how I feel about you. I love you so fucking much Al." Piper leaned down to press her lips against Alex's and felt her girlfriend grinning against her mouth as she kissed her repeatedly.

"I believe you." Alex chuckled a little as she pushed Piper back slightly so she could see her properly. "I believe you and a forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I'd have done anything to get you back and I'm sorry if I've done that too literally by being overbearing. I just want to show you I'm sorry….To show you I've changed Pipes. You can rely on me now. I want to be there for you, no matter what. You leaving Paris was the wake up call I never wanted, but desperately needed to pull me out of the quicksand. It hurt like a mother fucker….for a long time. But it made me realise what was important in my life and that was you and my Mom. I lost my Mom and I was too absorbed in Kubra's business to make the most of the time I had with her…..I won't make that mistake again with you. I've changed Pipes, I want to show you that every day. I want to show you how much I love you too."


	87. Chapter 87

**A/N: It's on you if you read this before it's officially Christmas Day. I'm just putting your gift under the tree...**

 **Typed in the midst of mince pie crumbs, mulled wine and National Lampoons on TV...here we have it. The Christmas edition! It's a year this holiday season since I started writing this fic and I never expected it to take on this life. Thank you to all of those people who have reviewed or PMd me about this story in the last 12 months. You've kept me wanting to write more and I still get a little nervous when I hit the green button that 331 emails get fired off to tell you about it. Wishing you all a very Happy Christmas and I hope 2017 sees some of your dreams come true. Peace and love. x**

It was hard to leave Alex when Piper woke up the next morning. She opened her eyes to see her girlfriend still sleeping deeply and it already felt like a new start. Alex looked like a fresh slate to her that morning and she was determined to keep it that way.

Piper went to the gym while Alex was still sleeping. Despite falling into a deep sleep very quickly when they went to bed, she was restless after waking early the next morning. It was partly thinking about Steve's cross-examination the previous day and partly anticipation of what Julie might say. If all went well today, she and Alex would be having sex tonight. She felt like she'd been celibate for much longer than a week and it was like the curfew would be lifted today. She was excited about what might happen between them and it spurred her on to do some extra reps on the gym equipment. Jess teased her as she saw the extra effort, asking who kicked her out of bed that morning? Piper simply smiled and said she might have to start doing her heavy workouts there instead of the gym if Jess wasn't careful.

She came home to shower and picked up a message from Red on her phone to ask if she could be at the store at lunch time today. Alex knocked gently on the open door and came in as Piper was brushing her teeth. Snaking her arms around the blonde, she kissed her neck slowly.

"Mmm…Well if it isn't sleeping beauty."

"I was waiting for Princess Charming to come and wake me. Where have you been sneaking off to so early?"

"The gym. My body is a temple remember?"

"I do. And since I'm going to be visiting that temple today for some well-earned worshipping….I'll be delighted to carry out a full and _thorough_ inspection of your work later." Alex nipped Piper's ear, grinning as she saw Piper close her eyes at the promise.

"Mmmm Alex…..please don't get me all hot and bothered before we see Julie. I don't want to come across like a horny teenager." Piper pushed her back with her palm in the centre of Alex's chest.

"I think the game will be up when you're unbuttoning your blouse on the way out of the meeting quite honestly." Alex grinned at their reflection in the mirror and reached for the toothpaste.

"Red wants to see me at PoPi after the meeting, so you'll have to keep your pants on a bit longer Romeo."

"What?! Well that timing sucks…." Alex scowled as she started brushing her teeth.

XXXXX

Alex parked outside Julie's office block and they grinned at each other as she turned the engine off.

"Ready?"

"Yeah." Piper slipped her seatbelt off and got out, reaching to hold Alex's hand as they met at the front of the car. They didn't even get a chance to sit down in the waiting room before Julie came out to greet them.

"Hi Piper. And you must be Alex?" Julie smiled and extended a hand to shake Alex's.

"I am. Nice to meet you."

"Come on through ladies. Can we get you some coffee before we start?"

"Lattes please." Piper spoke for both of them and Alex raised her eyebrows jokingly.

Julie asked the Receptionist to bring them through and they took a seat opposite her as she brought the case file over to the table.

"It's nice to finally meet you Alex. You've been here before, haven't you?"

"Yeah, I came to see your colleague a few weeks ago actually."

"Good. Did you find it helped?"

"Sort of. I was a bit gung-ho with the advice, but it worked out for the better in the end I think?" Alex looked at Piper to confirm.

"Yeah. We're good now." Piper grinned and took Alex's hand again.

"So, this is our usual appointment Piper. But this time you wanted to bring Alex along with you. Is there anything in particular you both want to talk about today?"

Piper swallowed and a blush quickly crept up to her face as she was forming the words. "Well….we…um…want to….be ….intimate." The blush increased in intensity and Alex's heart clenched at how adorable Piper was right now. For all her bravado in the bedroom at times, she was still excruciatingly awkward talking about sex with 'gown ups'. Alex bit back a smile and squeezed Piper's hand, but the blonde saw the smile in Alex's eyes and groaned, causing Alex to chuckle.

"OK smart ass, feel free to jump in at any time with a less embarrassing explanation." Piper waved.

Julie smiled at their interactions. There was a lot of communication going on with their eyes and their bodies were constantly seeking contact from each other, despite them sitting apart.

"You're doing an awesome job babe." Alex grinned and kissed her cheek.

The Receptionist knocked and brought their coffees over, setting them down on the table between them all. When he left, Julie had her notes open.

"Last time we met, we talked about building trust up between you Piper. How's that been going?"

"Good I think?" Piper looked to Alex to confirm she wasn't alone in thinking they were making progress on that.

"Yeah, we've been communicating more I'd say and dealing with things more calmly. You're seeing Sarah again which I think is helping and coming here too is making your confidence grow I'd say." Alex smiled and seemed much more confident than Piper to confirm they were on the right path. Piper was surprised at how much she was wanting to hear that reassurance from her girlfriend. Having it affirmed with a third party somehow meant it was verified by an independent adjudicator to be correct.

"OK, good. We talked about things like holding hands last time – which I can see you're practicing very well already." Julie nodded at their body language.

"Are you comfortable talking about sex Alex?" It was a genuine question, asked considerately. Alex chuckled in reply.

"Yeah, you won't embarrass me. Piper on the other hand…might be a different story." Alex winked at her girlfriend and got a punch on the bicep for it.

"There's nothing you can say about sex that would make Alex blush, go right ahead." Piper rolled her eyes and reached for her coffee.

"Good to know. Do you feel ready to have sex with Piper now Alex?"

"Right here in this room, no. When we get back to my apartment, absolutely!" Alex grinned, before turning more serious. "I'm ready, but I want to be sure that Piper is. I don't like the thought that she might be gritting her teeth to do it when she isn't really comfortable….Like she's only doing it because she thinks that's what I want."

"Have you talked about that?"

"Yeah, we did didn't we? That's why we wanted to wait a while and come to see you before we tried anything." Alex turned to Piper, releasing her hand to pick up her coffee and allowing time for Piper to reflect.

"I really wanted to last week, but Alex sensed I was nervous and we stopped. I thought I could push through it and get it over with….and I really think that's what I need to do. The second time will be better, right?"

"Not necessarily."

"We want to have sex. We're cool with pretty much everything up to that I think?" Alex cut in bluntly, looking at Piper to answer the last part.

"Um….yeah."

"I don't have a magic wand, but I think it's best to be mindful of any triggers that might cause you to become stressed. So maybe think about avoiding the shower as a place to have sex for the moment. I would advise against any sort of restraints too." Alex pulled her lips together, holding back a smirk. "I'm not talking BDSM here, I mean nothing where you're freedom of movement is restricted Piper."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

"The other thing you might want to think about – and we've not discussed this before; is whether you'd be comfortable with penetrative sex at this point." Alex glanced across at Piper to see her response.

"I….uh….I don't know." Piper blushed again. "I hadn't thought about it….It all seems so clinical all of a sudden."

"It's absolutely not meant to be. I didn't mean it to sound that way actually. It was more a suggestion for something to maybe try later. My advice would be to keep things simple to start with. Don't over complicate it and don't overthink it. The whole point is to enjoy yourselves and enjoy the activities you're trying. It's not something you'll only do once, right?"

Alex laughed. "We've never had sex only once in all the time we've been together. Not going to happen, trust me."

"You seem very happy together. You're obviously very close. Is there anything worrying you Alex?"

"I don't think so….I think we're both going to be nervous. We sort of tried to have sex last week and Piper tensed up, so I couldn't bring myself to carry on. It felt wrong to touch her when she was squeezing her eyes shut and I think we're both going to be anxious about whether that will happen again."

"My best advice would be to stop thinking about it as having an end point. Just enjoy touching each other and the sensations that come with that and you finish up where you finish up. Nobody should be pushing through anything here."

"I like the sound of that." Piper smiled and stroked her thumb over Alex's knuckles.

They talked some more with Julie before she wished them a good day and they left the office to sit in the car.

Piper took a deep breath, curious for Alex's reaction. "Well? Do we have a date tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm going to date your ass off tonight." Alex cocked her eyebrow and grinned as Piper smiled big back at her.

"I'll drop you off at PoPi OK? I want to just sort a couple of things out at the apartment before we meet up later. Do you want to pick some stuff up from your place and come over when you're ready?"

"Oh. OK then. I think I might check Polly is OK to work this weekend, then I can stay for a couple of days if you don't have anything planned?"

"I have plans. You are in the centre of every single one of them, so you definitely don't have time for working."

XXXXX

Piper came into the store to find Polly explaining the importance of label colours in marketing to Trisha.

"Well it looks pink to me."

"I've just explained the many reasons it _isn't_ pink." Polly rolled her eyes as Trisha carried on filling in the paperwork on the clipboard in front of her. "Don't write 'pink' on there. The supplier won't know what you're talking about. 'Fuschia Harmony' is what it's called."

Trisha opened her mouth to question it just as Piper cut in.

"Hey guys. Missing me?"

"Hey Piper. Yes. You know I prefer to work with numbers. Polly here keeps making me look at colour charts."

"Fine, go back to your calculator. Neanderthal."

"I'm closing the door to the stock room now. Bye Piper." Trisha closed the door behind her and Polly turned back to face her friend.

"What time is Red coming round?"

"Not sure. Why? Have you got to be somewhere else?"

"I'm meeting Alex. Which reminds me, can I take this weekend off? I want to spend the weekend with just the two of us."

"Yeah, it's my turn anyway. Have you got something planned?"

"What? No. Why do you ask?" Polly had already seen Piper's eyes widen before she could catch the reflex.

"No reason…..Do you think Red wants a face to face because it's bad news?"

"Probably. It's easy enough to say 'yes' over the phone. I'm wondering if she's planning a break up speech." Piper sighed and flicked through the order book sitting on the counter.

"I'm sure Alex wouldn't let that happen." Polly said before quickly glancing to check Piper's reaction.

"It's OK. I'm not going anywhere." Piper scowled.

"Have you kissed and made up?"

"Yes, but that has not very much to do with Red and everything to do with us being grown-ups."

"I doubt that's going to last." Polly rolled her eyes.

Red came in half an hour later, carrying a large box.

"Sorry I'm late ladies. I ended up buying this box of nodding dogs off a salesman in the gas station who wasn't taking no for an answer from the guy at the front just to speed things along. Put them in the trash for me please."

Polly peered inside and was on her way to the garbage with an upturned mouth when Piper took the box off her and set them aside.

"It's fine Red. Thanks for calling to see us. You want a tour?" Piper offered.

"Normally I'd say yes, but today I want to give you some news only."

"OK….should we sit down for this?" Polly held onto the counter now, steeling herself.

"Stand up, sit down, dance a jig. It's up to you girls. I've signed the papers for your investment proposal. The money will be available in your account early next week. Spend it on what you told me you'd spend it on and you'll do just fine."

"Oh my God! That's fantastic Red! Thank you so much for this opportunity, we won't let you down!" Piper ran around the counter with her arms outstretched and Red cut her short with an outstretched palm to shake her hand.

"You might buy me flowers blondie, but stick to kissing your girlfriend." Red nodded before offering her hand to Polly as well.

"Sorry, yes. Um…you signed for everything then? Was there anything left out?" Piper was thinking about the extra they had added for the costs of local advertising and market stands.

"Oh, yes. I can't sign you up to the prisoner rehabilitation programme. BUT, your girlfriend assures me she will keep Trisha and Brooke on her books and they can continue to _train_ here until we reach a more permanent solution. Everything else is what you asked for….is that OK?"

"YES! Definitely OK!"

"Excellent. I can leave you to dance and jump in circles or whatever you young girls do. Goodbye ladies." Red waved and walked as far as the door before turning around again.

"Hey, Miss Chapman…..Don't fuck things up."

Piper looked at her, perplexed as to why she might be the one to mess this deal up for them.

"With Vause. You've got a good one there Miss Chapman." Red nodded before closing the door behind her.

XXXXX

Piper went home to pack some clothes for spending the weekend at Alex's place. She was nervous about them spending a whole weekend together, but more excited than anything else. There were still some niggling insecurities about whether Alex might be holding back, whether she really could fully trust Piper to stay yet. But she resolved to prove that to Alex and break down any barriers with that demonstration, instead of making promises that might not be believed.

She drove to Alex's apartment, knocking on the door with her overnight bag in her hand. It took a while for Alex to open it, but when the door opened, the smell of chicken and chorizo pasta bake hit her immediately. Alex was standing in a pair of skinny blue jeans, a red checked shirt tied around her waist and a black v-neck tee shirt. Her hair was messily tied up into a loose bun, but her winged eyeliner was perfect and she grinned widely as she reached for Piper's overnight back.

"I was beginning to wonder if you had changed your mind."

"Not a chance. I might have packed for a week, just in case I like it here." Piper winked as she walked into the lounge. "Are you cooking what I think you are?"

"Chicken and chorizo? Yes I am. Hope you're hungry?"

"Starving. Can I help?"

"Nope. It's ready actually. I was keeping it warm. Take a seat. I thought we could sort of celebrate, if that isn't a bit presumptuous?" Alex held up an expensive looking bottle of champagne.

"What are we celebrating?"

"I was presumptuous then….OK…Um….I don't know what you want to call it….Erm…a new start? Getting the green light from Julie? It just felt like a champagne occasion….we can leave it you prefer?"

"No! I want to celebrate that." Piper smiled shyly. "We can double celebrate too because Red came by to say the investment package is all approved. We'll have the money next week."

"Oh Pipes, that's brilliant news! Well done you!" Alex brought the bottle over with a couple of crystal flutes and kissed her lovingly on the lips. Piper held her hand and pulled her back down as she turned to peel the foil away.

"Thank you…. For being the reason for the double celebration. I can't remember the last time I wanted to celebrate anything." Piper spoke quietly and Alex's heart clenched at the adorable woman sitting in front of her. "Me too."

Alex served their food and made herself slow down eating it. She was too eager for dessert and also getting a little nervous about whether Piper might change her mind and realise she wasn't actually ready for the next step in their relationship. Alex knew it didn't matter and she kept reminding herself that it wasn't like they needed to rush anything. Piper was hers now. She loved her and wanted to be with Alex now. They had all the time in the world to explore and get to know each other all over again.

Despite Piper being really hungry when she first came into Alex's apartment, her appetite started to falter as she ate the delicious meal that her girlfriend had prepared for her. She was starting to think what would happen when they finished and tidied everything away. Hoping that her anxious stomach wasn't going to see her throwing up the food and Alex not wanting to be intimate with her after that. She worried about whether she would freeze up in the bedroom and Alex would stop giving her what she desperately wanted. As she wrestled with these thoughts in her head, she hadn't noticed she was pushing her food around her plate.

"Hey…." Alex reached over to hold onto her wrist softly. "It's OK. Whatever is happening in your head right now, it's OK. You don't have to finish that. You don't have to drink the champagne. You don't have to do anything Pipes….." Alex offered. Piper felt dizzy, like she was going to black out as her anxiety started to take a hold.

"Sorry….I think I just need to cool down a bit." Piper stood from the table and quickly walked to the bathroom.

Alex cleared the plates away, giving her some space for a few minutes before following her and knocking on the door gently.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

Piper was leaning over the sink, breathing heavily.

"Anxiety attack?" Alex soothed her palm in circles over her back and stroked the hair from her face.

"Yeah, sorry."

"You don't need to apologise." Alex reached for a face cloth and ran it under the cold water for a while before wringing it out and putting it on the back of Piper's neck.

"I know I'm overthinking…..It's just…hard to stop."

"I get that. It's OK." Alex continued to soothe her back until Piper eventually stood on wobbly legs and leaned into her, the taller woman moving her arms around her and stroking her hair. "Maybe this was too much pressure. What can we do to take your mind off it?"

"I didn't put on sexy underwear and wax my vajayjay to play Buckaroo with you Al." Piper's tone was petulant, but Alex laughed loudly and it broke the tension as Piper broke into a smile.

"We could always play strip Buckaroo?" Alex offered as Piper pulled the cloth from her neck and dropped it into the sink.

"I'll get you some iced water and then how about we have a bath together? I've got some very fancy bath products from this amazing independent store I know." Alex smiled as Piper came closer and leaned against her, kissing her on the lips.

"That sounds perfect. I'll get the water." Piper went to the kitchen to drink some water before topping up their champagne and brought it back to the bathroom. Alex found some candles to set around the bathroom while the water was running. When the level was filled, Piper turned the faucet off and turned to see Alex setting her phone to a speaker for some music.

"Relaxing, right?" Alex smiled.

Piper turned the lights off, so the only illumination was flickering from several flames at different heights around them. Alex watched as Piper slowly drew down the zip on her wool dress and let it drop to the floor, revealing the sexy red underwear set she had bought this week. Alex's eyes flickered in the candlelight, her stare was intense as Piper stood before her in only her racy red lace. The two stood only feet apart and Alex shimmied out of her own skirt while they kept their eyes fixed on each other, smiles becoming grins as they progressed. Alex stripped so that she was standing naked before her girlfriend, not a shred of self-consciousness about her stance as she posed her bent leg and hands on hips, pouting for effect.

"My mind is definitely taken off whatever I was talking about now."

Alex winked and nodded to the fact that Piper was lagging behind.

Piper was down to her bra and panties, the enormity of what she was about to do now prodding her mind. She swallowed and reached to push the straps of her bra down one at a time. Alex smiled as Piper reached behind to unclasp her bra and let if fall down her arms and onto the floor.

Alex raised her eyebrow and smirked. "Nice tits."

Piper laughed, relieved the tension had dissipated. Putting her thumbs beneath the waistband of her panties, she held Alex's eyes as she pushed them down over her hips and down her thighs. They dropped to the floor and Piper lifted them with her toe, picking them up with her thumb and forefinger and waving them like a flag. An enormous grin broke across Alex's face and Piper smiled shyly now. This was the first time she had stood naked in front of anyone since she was in prison and the memories of strip searches were not ones she wanted to revisit.

Piper's little burst of courage seemed to fade and she didn't know what to do with her hands until Alex stepped towards her and brushed the blonde hair behind her ear. Stroking her cheek gently, she smiled at the nervous blue eyes in front of her.

"I've got butterflies in my stomach right now." Alex spoke softly, her eyes closing involuntarily at the memory being created. Piper reached to take Alex's hand gently in her own.

"Me too."

Opening her eyes again, Alex couldn't help but steal another look at Piper's naked skin from her toes up to eventually meeting her eyes again. "You're beautiful." She whispered as she looked into the nervous pools of blue in front of her. "Mmmm….be still my beating heart." Alex groaned as she shook her head and pulled them towards the waiting bubble bath. "We're going to have to get in here before I skip straight to the main course I think. Front or back m'lady?" Alex bowed to the water in front of them.

"You know I like to be in the front." Piper grinned and held out her hand to steady Alex as she climbed in first, before turning to pick up their champagne flutes. Passing one to Alex, Piper stepped into the water, with her girlfriend guiding her to settle down between her legs. Piper leaned back against Alex's chest and stroked her hand along Alex's arm that draped around her in the soapy water.

"God this feels so weird." Alex sighed, kissing the top of Piper's head.

"Good weird or bad weird?" Piper turned to look up at Alex now.

"Good weird…..It's like it's the first time we've done this. But we've done it loads of times before. It's familiar, but new at the same time." Alex nuzzled Piper's neck as she spoke and Piper pressed herself closer.

"My senses are on overload at so much skin to skin contact with you right now. I just want to say that this feels absolutely _divine_." Piper groaned and rested her head back after taking another drink of champagne. Alex leaned over to put her glass down before snaking her arms beneath Piper's and wrapping them across her torso.

"Are you OK?" Alex whispered into her hair as she rested her chin gently atop the messy blonde hair in front of her.

"Yeah. I'm good. Honestly, this is perfect." Piper went to rest against Alex's chest again and they rested for a while, enjoying the feeling of their wet skin pressed together. Every once in a while, Piper would push back a little more to stop from sliding too far down in the tub. The next time she did it, Alex groaned a little.

"As much as I could easily lie in this hot water with you for the rest of the night, I can't have you pressing your naked ass into my pussy like that and pretend I'm content to lie here and listen to you moaning like this." Alex ran her hands up and down Piper's bare sides, slipping them beneath the water and back up so that she was ever so slightly touching the swell of the blonde's breasts above the water with each movement. As she kissed the slope of Piper's neck, she felt her girlfriend lean to the side to give her more room to work with.

Piper could feel Alex smiling as she planted open mouthed kisses from her damp shoulders and up her neck, into her hair and towards her ear.

Alex stroked her hands along Piper's arms, moving them to place them either side of the bath tub so she had much freer access to Piper's body. She cupped the warm water with her hands and brought it up to let it run down the smooth skin of Piper's collarbone and down her breasts. She watched the bubbles rinse away one handful at a time, seeing her girlfriends nipples jutting out from the foam as she continued to nip at the skin on the opposite side of her neck. Her green eyes were entranced by them as she watch them stiffen, her chest rising and falling more rapidly from Alex's touch. Moving her hands to deliberately stroke the underside of those pert breasts again, she moved to slowly run her palms over them, pressing and kneading them as Piper closed her eyes and dropped her head back.

"Put your glass down." Alex rasped into her ear as she sucked lightly on her neck. Piper complied silently before reaching her arm above her head and pulling Alex down a little further towards her clavicle.

Alex greedily tasted the new skin she could access across Piper's neck and chest, running the very tip of her tongue along her pulse point and occasionally nipping along her shoulder as Piper's breathing became shallower. Piper moved her hands further to the back of Alex's head through her dark hair, pulling her more urgently towards her chest. Alex continued to apply more pressure as she ran her palms over those sensitive studs that Piper pressed into her hands. The woman in front twisted her body around more, seeking Alex's lips with her own. Their lips were pressed together, sliding over each other, but every time Piper tried to deepen the kiss, Alex pulled out of reach a bit.

"I want to taste you….come here." Piper whispered against her lips.

"I know you do." Alex tweaked her nipples a little, causing Piper to catch her breath against Alex's mouth. "God, you feel so good." Her hands roamed down Piper's sides now, circling over her hip bone with feather light touches as she made her way further down to her thighs.

"Kiss me now." Alex breathed as she ghosted her fingers along Piper's thighs again and gently pulled them apart before moving her fingers back up to touch around her hips again. Threading her hands into Alex's hair more, Piper pulled her girlfriend closer and moaned into her mouth as she felt those slim digits stroking her inner thighs simultaneously.

Water was sloshing over the sides as they each sought to find a position that was both comfortable and practical to feel more of each other. After swiping a bunch of foamy bubbles away from Alex's face to kiss her again, Piper finally pulled back a little to speak between kisses.

"Are you going to put those fingers where I want them?" She panted as another wave of bubbles flowed over the edge.

"Depends where you want them." Alex smirked back and her finger glided up to the patch of skin where her pussy meets her thighs.

"God Alex…..you're…driving me crazy."

"Tell me where you want them." Alex exhaled cool air over Piper's breasts as though to emphasise the urgency.

"You know where…touch me Alex." Piper's eyes closed as Alex rolled her nipples between her thumb and forefinger with her left hand as her right moved back up to her hip and then down to stroke over the bare mound of Piper's pussy. She could feel it was slick with more than just bath water and she hummed into Piper's neck as her fingers slipped over her outer lips, back and forth. Piper opened her legs as far as her knees would go and moved her hand into the water, over the top of Alex's encouraging the woman behind her to push into her folds with more pressure.

"Ahhhh….so good…."

"You like that?" Alex kissed along her jaw as she palmed her left breast, feeling Piper pushing herself further into her touch.

"Yeah…..I love feeling your fingers like this." Alex liked having Piper's fingers entwined with her own as the blonde guided their hands through her folds, back and forth slowly. Feeling her arousal for the first time with her fingers was divine and Alex closed her eyes and concentrated on the sensations of her fingertips and Piper's body reacting to them. No other senses were needed right now and she nuzzled along Piper's neck to her ear with her nose, gently touching around her ear before whispering into it.

"You feel so good, so open for me like this….." She took her lobe into her mouth and suckled it gently as Piper clenched her thighs together a little. "Show me where you want my fingers to touch you…" Piper took Alex's hand and moved it more roughly on her left breast, moving her other hand lower in her pussy, to the hot entrance. Alex ran her finger around the tight muscle slowly, causing Piper to hitch her breath. Dipping her finger in slightly, she moved her thumb to make a low stroke over her clit and repeated the motion again a couple of seconds later. Piper bucked into her hand and pushed Alex's fingers lower.

"I want you inside me Alex. Just a little." Piper panted, her eyes closed and fixed on the sensations Alex was giving her.

"Mmmmm, like that?" Alex moved her index inside a little further, before pulling it out again slowly.

"Yessssss….." Piper breathed, her hand clasping Alex's wrist so the taller woman wouldn't move away.

Alex repeated the movements slowly, watching Piper's expressions closely for any signs of discomfort or anxiety. All she saw was pleasure etched on her girlfriend's features. Pleasure and concentration as she writhed her hips into Alex's hand, seeking the touch she needed all over her pussy now. Alex continued to swipe her thumb over her clit every so often, painfully slowly, but with perfect pressure.

Moving her hand from her breast, Piper reached up into Alex's hair to pull Alex's lips towards her so she could taste her. Moaning into her mouth, she kissed the dark haired woman frantically as the pace of Alex's movements built steadily between her parted legs. She was careful not to push her finger inside too far, just enough to stimulate the nerves around the opening and tap her G-spot every so often. Piper's clit was fully exposed and Alex swirled her thumb around the hood as she sensed Piper's arousal building to a peak.

Piper broke off the kiss suddenly, pressing her forehead against Alex's. "Fuck Al…..I'm going to cum…..I'm… _fuck_ …." Her thighs tightened around Alex's wrist and Piper held her there for some time as her abdomen tensed and her pussy throbbed with pleasure.

The feeling of Piper's walls clenching around her index was more than Alex could have dreamed of and feeling Piper holding her there with her hand clutching at her wrist and her thighs clamped tightly over them was a feeling she wanted to bottle. She held her fingers and hand still, allowing Piper's movements to draw her own pleasure from them being there as she rode out her orgasm. Her jerky movements caused the water to flow over the rim of the tub in waves of pleasure and both of them were oblivious to the mess they has caused outside of their tiny porcelain world. The sound of the sloshing water was all that could be heard for some time as they lay with their foreheads pressed together, eyes closed as they each went into their own world to enjoy the feelings this brought. It was the sound of Piper sniffing that caused Alex to open her eyes and look at the blue eyes in front of her. Her eyes were watery and the dampness on her cheeks was clearly not bath water. Alex smiled and wiped the tears away with her thumb.

"I love you Piper Chapman."

"I love you too."


	88. Chapter 88

**A/N: Happy New Year! I hope you've had a great festive break and wish you the very best for 2017. Exactly 1 year ago today I posted Chapter 1, so thanks for being with me as I posted updates over the last year. Really appreciate those of you who have reviewed, especially regular reviewers and those who have read it for a second time ;-)**

"I'm pretty sure we had more water in here when we got in. Are you getting cold?" Alex felt goose bumps raising on her own arms as she lay with Piper against her. The water was barely above the blonde's smooth hips now and both of them were as much out of the bath water as they were in it.

"A little. It's nice lying with you like this though." Piper snuggled into her more.

"We can lie like this in bed, where it's warm….and we won't catch pneumonia. If you want to?"

"I want."

Piper pulled herself up and Alex was right behind her as they got out of the tub together. Alex pulled a warm towel over Piper's shoulders before placing her hands on her waist and pulling her towards her to continue their kiss.

"Where were we?" Alex smiled against the shorter woman's lips.

Piper leaned in to kiss Alex and felt like all of her nerve endings were on fire, her heart pounding in her chest as Alex moved her hands down her neck slowly. The blonde moved to close the remaining space between them and pressed their naked bodies together. Alex's breath caught in their kiss as she felt Piper's naked hips touch her own. Moreover, the sensation of the blonde's pussy lightly touching her own was exquisite and her senses were overwhelmed. Breaking the kiss suddenly, Alex pulled their lips apart and rested her forehead against Piper's.

"Fuck….." Was all she could breathe, eyes closed and breathing shallow. "This doesn't feel real yet." Her eyes were rolled so far back that she couldn't open them if she wanted to. The feeling of Piper's nakedness pressed against her own, their wet skin slipping silently together at the smallest movement. It was a connection for which Alex had long since forgotten the sensations.

"It's real…..I can feel just how real it is between my legs still." Piper husked as she leaned in to capture Alex's lips with her own. Piper pulled the beautiful porcelain hips towards her to ensure the contact was maintained as she moved her lips softly against Alex's above her. Piper hummed appreciation as Alex stroked her fingers through the damp, blonde hair that framed her face as they made out. Sensing that things were escalating again, Alex reluctantly broke off the kiss to lift Piper's chin with her index, meeting her eyes.

"How was it?"

"You need to ask?" Piper grinned sheepishly. "Are you kidding me? It was amazing." She chuckled, remembering her very recent first orgasm in years.

"I loved feeling you like that." Alex smiled, stroking Piper's cheek as they pressed their foreheads together again.

Piper smiled back at her. "Maybe we should get dried off and get some towels on this floor before it gets any wetter with our soppy sentiments?"

"Hmm, I'm glad I opted for a wet room down here." Alex grabbed a short silk robe for Piper to put on and she pulled a black version of the same around herself before throwing some towels on the floor and quickly wiping it over while Piper pulled the plug on the bath water. Alex blew out the candles and picked up their glasses.

"You want a top up? I've got another bottle."

"Yeah, shall we take it to bed? I've kind of got a thirst for more now." Piper tried to bite back her wide smile, but Alex's face already broke into a grin as she turned to finish the last of the open bottle.

"Can you hang on down here for 5 minutes? I just need to do something. Get some ice out of the freezer box please. The full bag is OK." Alex shouted over her shoulder as she jogged upstairs to her room. Piper got the ice and waited at the bottom of the stairs, smiling to herself at what just happened. It wasn't long before Alex reappeared in the doorway, opening it to take Piper's hand.

"OK. Ready now, come on."

Piper stepped through the door to find there were red rose petals scattered all over the wooden stairs, lined with a few white candles in tall glass vases.

"Aw, Alex, this is so cute!"

"I thought you might like it." Alex smiled as she led Piper up the staircase to her room.

When they got there, Piper stopped in the doorway again and surveyed the room in awe. Norah Jones 'Come away with me' was playing from the speaker in the corner of the room and there were rose petals scattered over the floor by her feet. Alex took the bag of ice from Piper and poured it into the ice bucket where a second bottle of champagne was chilling on the bedside table. The trail of rose petals led right up onto the bed and a bowl of strawberries and melted chocolate caught her eye on the other side.

"Wow…." Piper was choked up with the effort that Alex had gone to to make this night special for them both.

"It's not too much?" Alex was regretting setting this up when Piper was having a panic attack earlier, but the time seemed right now she was more relaxed. "I've put the kinky stuff in the drawers." Alex winked.

"It's perfect." Piper stroked Alex's jaw. "Dance with me?" Piper moved her arms to rest around the back of the taller woman's neck. Alex stepped closer and rested her arms around her girlfriend's waist. They swayed to the music, barely moving at all until the song ended and it switched to the next song on the playlist. Norah Jones 'Turn me on' started playing and Piper moved her fingertips to Alex's chin, caressing her jaw with them as she leaned up to kiss Alex softly. Their lips moved slowly against each other, Piper swiping her tongue over the plump red lips she was getting lost in the taste of.

She ghosted her hands over the swell of Alex's hips to pull the knot loose in her robe, letting it fall open. Piper placed soft kisses along her clavicle and down her breast bone, moving her hands inside the robe to stroke up the pale skin along her sides. Alex moved her splayed fingers into the blonde hair in front of her, massaging Piper's scalp as her girlfriend kissed and sucked her way along Alex's skin until she was caressing her breast with her tongue gently. Reaching her hands further up, she pushed the silk robe off Alex's shoulders, letting it pool by her feet when it dropped to the floor. Piper kissed her breasts slowly before breaking away and leading Alex to lie on the bed, head propped comfortably by pillows. Alex tried to swallow down the lump that was in her throat now, borne of anticipation for what might be to come tonight.

Piper reached over and plucked a strawberry from the bowl, dropping it into the warm chocolate a little before leaning her head back and sucking it into her mouth and moaning as she bit into the juicy fruit. She reached for another and held it above Alex's mouth, chocolate threatening to drip from the bottom as Alex parted her lips, reaching up with her mouth to catch it with her teeth. Piper watched her devour it as they held their eyes in a lust-filled exchange. The blonde leaned down to clean the chocolate from her girlfriend's lips and pulled her own robe loose, shrugging it off her body before moving to lie on top of the woman whose green eyes had been following her every movement from the bed. Settling her legs so they were entwined, their bodies pressed together, Piper continued their kiss eagerly.

Alex moved her hands down to Piper's naked ass and squeezed her cheeks firmly, pressing her into her own hips more. "Mmm you feel so good on top of me like this." Alex breathed between kisses.

"Yeah? I bet I know what would feel better….." Piper husked into her ear as she kissed down her neck. "Spread your legs."

Alex's eyes fluttered closed as she parted her legs, allowing Piper room to lie between them and press the mound of her pussy against her apex.

"Yesss….definitely better….." Alex moved her hip to increase the friction while pulling Piper against her. Piper hovered above her, looking into the darkened green eyes below her as she began moving her hips to slide against Alex's pussy. Drawing her pussy slowly from the bottom of Alex's lips up against her wet folds and up against her clit with each stroke, they maintained eye contact only inches apart. Their heated breaths becoming oxygen for the other as they built the tempo.

Piper lifted Alex's leg up higher so she could set herself into a position where she had a knee either side of Alex's straight leg and could press her own pussy right against the woman's beneath her. It meant their arousal would mix into a messy and heated cocktail of lust between them as each woman sought to take pleasure from the other in the most intimate way.

"Ohhhhhhh….yesssss….right there…fuck that feels good….." Alex could feel Piper's hips thrusting into her and rubbing herself against her frantically building to a quick orgasm and she let her set the tempo. Reaching over to the champagne bucket, Alex took a couple of cubes and held them up against Piper's nipple while the blonde's eyes were closed.

"Fuck!" Piper grinned when she saw Alex smirking as she popped one into Piper's mouth and dragged the other across her chest and down her taught stomach towards their joined pussies. The icy water, mixing with their arousal sent new sensations to their nerve endings and Alex groaned as she felt the cold water run down her own pussy. Piper leaned down to kiss her and they toyed with the cube a little before Piper leaned down to drop it between Alex's tits.

"God I've missed this." Piper panted as she gripped the hair at the base of Alex's head tighter.

"Pipes….I'm close…..I want you to come with me…" Alex panted out as Piper increased the speed of her thrusts.

"Oh God… I need-." Alex reached up and pinched Piper's nipple hard between her thumb and forefinger and Piper tensed very quickly, gripping Alex's hair as she came for the second time that night. Watching her and feeling her pussy pulse right next to her own was enough to send Alex over the precipice herself and she came in a shuddering climax, both women panting and spasming with their muscles against each other. Their eyes remained open throughout as they gasped into each other's parted lips. Piper's smile was wide when she was in sufficient control of herself to acknowledge what had just happened. Their hips continued to move slowly as they slid against each other, jerking in involuntary reaction to their sensitive nerve endings every now and then.

"Hmmmmmmm…..." Alex pulled Piper on top of her, entwining their limbs again as their chests heaved to refill with air.

"Let me see your post-orgasmic chill." Alex lifted Piper's chin to look at her.

"I'm sooooo in my happy place right now. Don't you dare move."

"I've got your wet pussy and sweaty sex body pressed up against me. Are you kidding me? This is my wet dream!"

Piper swatted her arm and leaned over to pick up their champagne flutes. " _Now_ there's something else to toast…to orgasms! Those we've already had and those that are yet to come….in every sense of the word." They clinked glasses and took a sip before Piper reached for another strawberry.

"I'll drink to that. Especially the ones still to come." Alex curled her arm tighter around the slender shoulders on top of her, stroking her fingers up and down Piper's naked back.

Piper hummed into Alex's collarbone as she lay, nestled in the arms of her lover. Leaning up onto her elbow, she stroked the damp hair from Alex's face with her fingers, twirling it between her index and middle fingers slowly. Alex smiled back at her and continued moving her hand up and down her long back, tickling her slightly as she moved.

"Can I ask you something?" Alex ventured after a while of quiet content between them.

"Sure." Piper reached over and popped another fruit into her mouth, chewing it slowly.

"When was the last time you had an orgasm with someone else?"

"Are you sure you want to know the answer to that question?" Piper raised her eyebrows as she regarded Alex curiously.

Alex swallowed. She figured Piper had slept with other people, but she wasn't sure she was prepared to find out it was fairly recently.

"I mean….was it a long time ago?"

Piper sighed and put her glass down. "I've had sex with other people since we were together Alex. Men and women. But it wasn't the same… I never had an orgasm with any of them. The last time I had an orgasm was the last time we had sex, so….Paris….4 years ago I guess….You probably don't even remember it."

"It was room 246 of the Maison Libertine." Alex didn't need to dig far for the details. "I fucked you in the mirror with my fingers before you went down on me in front of it. We didn't even snuggle up together that night as I had to shower and go meet some people for Kubra later. You were asleep when I got back in the morning, so I stayed up and did my emails. I napped while you went shopping the next day and I was gone again before you got back."

"I brought you a cake back from a fancy patisserie that day and you were gone for three days without saying goodbye to my face."

"The beginning of the end." Alex finished sombrely.

"It was ending long before that Al."

"I'm sorry I never paid you enough attention." Alex pulled Piper back against her side, murmuring her apologies directly into her bronze skin.

"You're making up for it with a bed full of roses and extremely expensive champagne." Piper smiled before leaning over to kiss her again.

"Can I ask you something else?" Alex turned onto her side, to look at Piper now.

"Go ahead."

"Can you cum by yourself?"

"Don't I pay Julie to have these conversations?" Piper raised a brow, but wasn't offended by the question.

"Sorry. Don't mean it to sound like therapy. Just….curious I guess."

"When I masturbate? Yeah, sometimes…..I mean, it's not earth shattering by any means, but I get a quick release if I'm properly relaxed and ready for it. It just takes the edge off you know?"

"Yeah. Well, at least you were getting _some_ orgasms I guess."

Piper turned to face the brunette on her side.

"It might have been enough if I didn't know I could be having so much more. It's like getting a dessert menu with only one item on it that you can only have if you make it yourself. If it was the only menu I'd seen, I'd be happy with that dessert every time. But I've eaten at that restaurant many, MANY times Alex and I know there's a huge menu of options that I just wasn't getting. It's like I KNOW the options but I'm only allowed the take home packet mix substitute."

"That's quite the analogy, but I think I catch your meaning." Alex chuckled as she reached over to stroke her cheek before leaning in to kiss her on the lips softly. "We can try all kinds of ingredients along the way to making you some different desserts in that case." Piper smiled and pulled Alex towards her so that the brunette was laying on her chest and she could stroke her fingers up and down the lithe back of her lover.

"You want another drink?" Alex asked as she reached over for the bottle of champagne.

"Yeah, go on. We are celebrating after all."

"You want to open this then?" Alex lifted the bottle out of the ice and brought it over Piper, dripping icy droplets onto her chest as Piper shrieked below her. Alex took the top off, leaving Piper to pop the cork. She pushed the cork out with a loud pop. "I could get used to this."

"Popping your cork in my bedroom? I'm sure that could be arranged." Alex smirked until Piper pressed the cold bottle onto her stomach. "Argh! Cruel!" The liquid spilled over the top and Piper did her best to catch as much as she could with her tongue, but didn't try so hard that she didn't get a decent amount over Alex's chest. Piper dropped the bottle back in the ice bucket and settled back to straddle over Alex and lap up the spillage with her tongue, leading a gentle trail in between her breasts with the tip of her tongue before flattening it and teasing her nipples with it.

"Piper Chapman….is your lustful body not yet sated?" Alex moaned beneath her as she trailed kisses between her breasts.

"I seek only to satisfy she who has unleashed this lustful body Alex Vause." Piper's voice was low as she spoke very deliberately against the shell of Alex's ear.

XXXXX

The light shining through Alex's window in the ceiling woke Piper the next morning. Alex was used to it and able to sleep longer, so she carefully moved her lovers arm from across her waist and got up to pull on a robe. There were rose petals all over the floor and Piper smiled as she stepped through them all until she found the kitchen. She put the coffee machine on and looked through the fridge for something to make for breakfast. Not wanting to wake Alex until she was ready, she opted for chopping fresh fruits and mixing them into a fruit salad. She found a tray and put the coffees onto it as well as the fruit bowls, before wandering to the book shelves and picking up a Jane Austen novel to read. Placing the tray by the side of the bed, she removed her robe again and slipped back into the bed. Alex was sleeping exactly where Piper had left her and she was sorely tempted to return to exactly the same position herself, wanting to slip under Alex's arm and press their naked skin together again. She knew she was too awake to stay there and would only disturb Alex, so she opted to drink her coffee.

Alex sensed Piper had moved and she reached her arm out blindly, until she could wrap it around her waist, if a little higher than before. The smell of fresh coffee made her open an eye slowly as she pulled herself against her girlfriend's body again.

"Mmmm good morning." Alex kissed Piper's hip from where she was lay against it. Piper looked down from reading her book and stroked Alex's hair.

"Hello sleeping beauty."

"I'm glad you're still here." Alex smiled against the skin her lips were still pressed against.

"Of course I am…I still have 15 chapters to read."

Alex nipped the skin at her waist, causing Piper to squeal, before she reached over to find her glasses and sat up.

"What are you reading?"

"Sense and Sensibility." Piper reached over to hand Alex her coffee.

"Thanks. Is that breakfast?"

"Yeah. Want some?"

"Are you gonna feed it to me?" Alex wiggled her eyebrows and set her coffee down after taking a gulp.

"I asked you if you want breakfast, not sex."

"Same thing if you're bringing fruit into the bedroom. There's no scene in Spartacus with grapes that doesn't involve lusty fornication."

"True. But they didn't have cheese boards to accompany them back then."

"Are you telling me cheese is a replacement for lusty sex?"

"I am."

Alex leaned forward and peered at the tray next to Piper. "I see no cheese. Looks like we're doing it the Roman way. When in Rome….." Alex closed the book Piper held and dropped it on the floor before pulling the sheet down her body slowly. Piper wriggled beneath her until she was lying down again and Alex smirked at her as she reached for a bunch of grapes. She held them above Piper's mouth until Piper tried to reach for them with her mouth. She let her pick one off before trailing them down her body and resting them over her perfect pussy.

" _Now_ I can eat breakfast."


	89. Chapter 89

**A/N: Lots of lovely reviews for the last couple of chapters - thanks to everyone who took the time to drop me a line. This update is a birthday treat for a reviewer who has been here since the start of this fic. Happy Birthday to Orlando Bloom! Actually, I can't say that as that surname doesn't appear at all in this fic (I'm proud of that). So, Happy Birthday to EJM137 instead - felicitations dude!**

They lay in bed, limbs entangled with warm proximity and Piper pressed against Alex's chest as the taller woman stroked her hair. It was daylight by now and they saw occasional airplanes flying across the window in the ceiling. It was the longest Alex had spent lying in bed looking though that window since she had moved in 6 months ago. It had been a big selling point from the Realtor at the time and she wasn't planning on spending time gazing up there anyway when she signed the contract. It was nice right now to see the clouds floating by, as though the world was still there but going at their pace this morning.

"What do you want to do today?" Alex asked absently.

"Is staying in this bed all day with you an option?"

"It is…until you want to eat toast. _Then_ I'll have to kick you out."

"Why?"

"Crumbs."

"Alex, there are squashed rose petals all over these sheets! Not to mention chocolate sauce on your pillow." Piper leaned up on her side to point to the evidence. "You'll have to wash the sheets anyway later."

"Oh yeah?" Alex rolled over so Piper was on her back beneath her, arms pinned beside her head. "If we're looking for reasons to have to wash-."

"Don't!….." Piper started sharply, before she trailed off, eyes squeezed tightly shut. Alex furrowed her brow in confusion at the sudden change in demeanour and saw Piper panicked beneath her. Immediately letting her wrists go, Alex jumped back off her to the side.

"Shit! Sorry…."

Piper felt immediately guilty for what felt like a silly reaction to something innocent and playful and brought her arms down, rubbing her wrists as though to wipe away the reaction. She sat up and pulled the sheets up to her chest. "It's OK….." Seeing how mortified Alex was, she followed it up. "I guess it's easy to jump right back into old habits." She nervously pulled her hair behind her ears with the hand that wasn't gripping the bedsheet.

"Sorry." Alex dragged her fingers through her scalp, reality had just landed and it brought caution with it. "I'll clear this stuff away if you want to get a shower." She immediately leaned down to pull her robe on and Piper scooted across the bed on her knees to slide her arms around her waist from behind before Alex could stand.

"Hey." Piper knelt high enough to kiss the side of her girlfriend's face. "I'll get better."

Alex stayed put, shaking her head at how quickly she had slipped back into forgetting what had happened to her girlfriend. One night of intimacy and her brain went on autopilot, completely disregarding the long journey they were still on as a partnership.

Alex sighed a little and dropped her head back onto Piper's shoulder, moving her hands over the top of those holding her. "I know…..I'm sorry you have to keep reminding me."

Piper kissed the shell of Alex's ear gently. "I'd rather remind you because you're wanting to touch me than be asking you to because you're too scared….You're doing great." Piper raised herself up to drop her arms over Alex's shoulders and kissed the crown of her head.

"That's twice you've had to remind me this morning though."

"Al…it's OK…..I'm not going to let it burst my bubble. I had two orgasms last night for the first time in years and I had prepared myself for not being able to have any. I'm delighted with that." Piper stroked her hands up and down Alex's shoulders as she hugged her from behind, arms crossed over below her neck. "I know I'll be able to have more when you go down on me too….it just…..it feels too intimate for me right now."

"You don't feel like I am pressuring you…do you?" Alex turned to look into those blue eyes for certainty.

"No. Far from it." Piper moved to pick up her robe from the floor and pulled it over her skin, tying it at the waist before standing. "Come. Let's take a shower and then we can tidy this place up." She held her hand out to pull Alex to stand.

XXXXX

It didn't take long for them being under the water together before their hands started roaming and they were making out under the hot water. Alex had been so good to her yesterday and last night was better than she could have dared hope for, so Piper was keen to make Alex feel good in the shower. She was keen for Alex to try and forget what happened earlier and focus on all of the positives from their weekend together. She had gained so much confidence from being closer to Alex, that it was making her eyes prick when she thought how long she had been without that kind of closeness with anyone at all. That she had overcome those fears with someone she had loved so dearly a long time ago and loathed until more recently, was all the more amazing in her eyes. She had never imagined being able to trust someone to be this close to them again and all but locked that part of her away until recently.

Her lover was a little more cautious with her touch than last night, so it wasn't too hard for Piper to control things as she kissed her way along Alex's upturned neck and run her hands down her sides with the soapy water.

"Mmm Pipes…..you don't need to.-" Piper's finger was quickly on her lips before she could finish, her lips against her neck.

"I want to thank you for last night…" Piper pulled back a little to look up into those deep, green eyes as she spoke. "For this weekend. You've been so good to me and I want to do this….It helps to fill showers with good memories now and I want to start like this."

"But I don't expect-."

"I know you don't…(kiss) …Less talking, more moaning…..panting….sighing…" Piper nipped at her pulse point quickly before moving her hands up to massage Alex's tits under the spray. "Have I told you that you are beautiful when you're wet?" Piper smirked as she ran her lips over the top of Alex's left nipple.

"Mmmmm." Alex ran her hand up Piper's back, her other smoothing the wet hair from her cheek.

Piper wound her tongue around the tightening bud in ever decreasing circles before blowing cool air over the top. Feeling Alex press herself forwards seeking more contact, she smiled and reached over to stimulate the other with the pads of her index and thumb gently. Finally sucking it into her mouth, she felt Alex pull her tighter against her as she fell against the tiled wall, a whimper escaping her those rosy lips above her.

Alex's eyes were fluttering closed, but she struggled to keep them on the woman in front of her. Piper sucked the nipple hard briefly, before pulling it slowly between her tightened lips and eventually releasing it with a pop as Alex's body stiffened with the sudden pain of the pull. Watching as the woman beneath her caressed and stroked every part of her body under the water, Alex writhed against the tiled wall. She reached down to touch Piper's breasts under the water and massaged them for only a moment, before Piper moved further south and began snaking her tongue over her ribs and stomach. Placing slow, open-mouthed kisses down the sides of her torso, she made her way to Alex's hips. Holding her tongue stiffly, Piper traced it up and down the inside of Alex's hip bone slowly towards her mound. Moving in slow and slippery circles as she went, she tasted the indent of the 'V' that led all the way to where Alex needed her to be. Reversing the path back up, she nipped the skin with her teeth quickly before repeating the sensual torture on the opposite side. Alex's hands mussed her hair, trying to direct her movements to where they were most keenly anticipated. Piper was in no rush to give in to those desires though and moved her hands to massage up the back of her calf muscles on each leg, working their way up the slippery skin gradually. She ducked her head lower and kissed the backs of Alex's knees as though she were making out with them with her tongue and it was all Alex could bare.

"Fuck…Piper….." Alex arched her back against the cool tiles of the shower wall, legs beginning to tremble slightly.

Piper smirked into the milky wet skin on her girlfriend's legs and began kissing her way up the inside of her thighs, fingers pressing in slippery circles around her hip bones.

"Any special requests Al?" She kissed the skin between thigh and pussy as she finished the question and Alex's reply was to push her fingers into Piper's hair and pull it hard enough so Piper's nose was pressing into her pussy and her laugh blew cool breath over her heated labia. The woman kneeling between her legs hummed enjoyment as she began to stroke her tongue along the dripping arousal that Alex had led her to.

"Hmmm…I don't know what's wetter, this shower or the fountain between your legs."

Alex groaned and parted her legs more, wanting to give Piper all the room she needed to lap up the heat that was growing there. She continued to hold the blonde's head in place and tried very hard to resist the urge to grind herself against the delicious mouth that was providing a soft sucking vacuum over her clit and surrounding nerves. Piper's mouth was a wide 'O' shape, sucking at Alex's peachy centre, her tongue flicking over her sensitive clit every so often and the woman enjoying all the flavour knew her quivering girlfriend wouldn't last much longer before her release. She gently moved a single finger inside her silky slit, just enough to tease the nerve endings at her opening and it was enough for Alex to grasp on to her head and hold her still as she felt the tightened coil in her pussy suddenly release.

"Fuck!...Don't move…Fuck…." Her hips couldn't help but grind against Piper's chin, seeking to make the euphoria last as long as it possibly could before she couldn't stand the contact anymore on her sensitive nerves. Piper carefully licked the warm juices that spilled from her lover with a long and slow tongue, wet pussy pressing against her with a thrumming pulse inside. Piper held her hands against Alex's hips firmly, pinning the gasping woman to the wall, save she might slip down to the floor below. When the contact became too much and Alex was exhausted, Piper reached for the scented shower gel by her side and poured some into her palm. She looked up at Alex, eyes fixed on her movements below and grinned as she soaped her hands up the lithe body in front of her until they were both standing again. Alex pulled her into a slow and sensual kiss as Piper worked more soap into her palm and slid her hands around to cleanse her upper body too.

" _That_ …..was delicious." Piper whispered into Alex's ear before leaning to grab some shampoo, smirking at Alex's coy smile.

" _You_ are delicious." Alex pulled her in for another kiss.

XXXXX

They got dressed and cleaned up the apartment before heading out to Central Park together. Taking the subway was a novelty for Alex and Piper teased her for buying hand sanitiser when they got to the nearest pharmacy.

"When did you become such a snob?"

"I didn't _become_ a snob Pipes. I bought a car and a place of work with a parking spot." She rubbed the gel through her fingers before offering some to Piper, who took it.

"I'm only using this because you're going to buy me a hotdog and there's no place to wash my hands before we eat."

"Yeah, right…..do you want me to tell you about the food hygiene standards at those stalls or would you rather swallow the bacteria in blissful ignorance."

"Blissful ignorance. Every (kiss). Time (kiss)." Piper wrapped her black woollen poncho around her tighter before reaching out to take Alex's hand as they made their way through the crowds and towards the John Lennon memorial.

"I hope you don't expect me to eat with you." Alex screwed her face up and Piper laughed.

"I totally do. Maybe we'll even share one and eat from either end so we kiss in the middle." Piper batted her eyelashes. Alex rolled her eyes before shoving Piper in the arm. "One night….One night I did roses and candles and look what happens."

"I have expectations now Vause. I'm expecting Elton John to pen me a love song by the end of the week."

"You can have a bunch of tuneless British tourists singing 'Imagine'. It's my best offer." Alex nodded at the memorial just ahead of them.

They walked arm in arm around the park, chatting about the investment for PoPi and the extra hours Piper would need to put into the business to make it all happen to prove it would work. Alex bought hotdogs after Piper said she didn't want to die alone from the bacteria she was about to ingest and they sat on a bench to eat them.

"Why don't you try and give some extra hours to Tricia and Brooke over the weekends? They could do a lot of the stuff you've just been talking about and they'd appreciate the extra cash."

"I don't think Polly would like that. Plus, they are still criminals Alex….."

"Pipes….you know my feelings about that…..Have you talked to them about it? Asked them about their crimes, their backgrounds, their ambitions even?"

"No…..I didn't want to pry."

"They're working in your store. You have a right to ask a certain amount of questions I think. Maybe you can talk to Red and see what her advice would be?"

"I'm not sure she likes me enough to impart advice."

"She's not exactly Oprah with the warm and cuddlies, but she's fair. She was just testing you in her office, don't worry about that."

"She told me not to fuck things up."

"You won't. You've done plenty of research-."

"With you."

Alex laughed. "Did she?"

"Yeah. It's not the first time I've had the 'hurt Alex and I will cut you' speech either…..you've got a lot of good people around you Al."

"I have…but don't let them scare you away." Alex wiped her hands and took Piper's fingers into her lap.

"I won't."

"So…I could offer you the choice of a romantic boat ride….or ice skating next, since we're in the right place for either. But I already know what you'll pick."

Piper turned to her, smiling widely. "What am I gonna pick then, smart ass?"

"The Natural History Museum. Because you are a total _geek_." Alex pulled her closer with her arm wrapped around Piper's shoulder and squeezed her tight, kissing her head. Piper laughed loudly and the sight of her nose crinkling up and her perfect white teeth shining up at her almost melted her heart. Her eyes danced with excitement and there was nowhere on this planet Alex would rather be than reading through dusty exhibits with this woman for the rest of the day.

XXXXX

They ate dinner at a diner just down from Lafayette before Piper insisted they went to Serendipity's to share a frozen hot chocolate for dessert. Alex was equally insistent that they got a cab back to her place after that and they snuggled together on the sofa to watch 'Lost Boys' on TV. Piper lay behind Alex, propped up on a pillow so she could twirl her hands through her dark hair absently. Alex was always a sucker for her hair or head being soothed and it wasn't long before she had drifted to sleep. It allowed Piper a rare opportunity to gaze at the beauty of the woman below her without feeling self-conscious or creepy about it. She continued to run her fingers through her long locks and thought how far they had both come since the hurt and pain they had both endured. She hoped that they were through the worst of it now and that it had made them stronger, but she dared not be sure of it just yet.

XXXXX

Alex had to get up really early on Sunday morning to take a conference call with a company in Barcelona. NYC Logistics had been tendering for contract work with them for the last 12 months and lost out to an ambitious competitor who was based in Barcelona. Alex thought this company had bitten off more than they could chew and was keen to be able to step in and take over, for the right price. It would make them more than they had offered to do the work for originally, but the short notice and the fix the company was now in meant that all of the cards were in Alex's hand when she got the request for talks. Her mind was buzzing with information and ideas when the call ended and she noted down as much as she could for discussion with Bill, Nicky and Lorna on Monday. She didn't want to spoil her weekend with Piper with this, as big as it was.

Piper came downstairs into the kitchen wearing Alex's robe, wandering over to Alex to stroke the back of her hair as she passed.

"Morning babe."

"Hey. Did I wake you?"

"No. I couldn't sleep after you got up really, so Jane Austen kept me company. She's not as warm as you though." Piper ducked down to kiss Alex on the cheek quickly. "You want another coffee?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"How'd it go with the Spanish Inquisition?"

"Good. Really good actually. They're going to give a final warning for breech of the contract to this other company, so they've got 30 days to deliver or we step in. I asked a few questions about what shipments were overdue and where they were expected. There's no way these guys can pull it back in 30 days and I think everyone at this place in Barcelona knows it. I'll need to work out some figures with the guys in the morning and pull another proposal together."

Piper smiled at Alex's enthusiasm for sniffing out a good deal. She loved that expression on her face, like a kid in a candy store. It also made her remember that it was the face that preceded her changing their plans together and making bargains to make it up later. The thought made her stomach turn and she turned away quickly to fill the coffee machine.

"It was a big contract when we lost it 6 months ago, but now….Christ it could be worth 50% more than we tendered originally." Alex continued her thoughts aloud, not really expecting any reply or verification to them.

"That's fantastic Al! I'm so pleased for you." Piper put on her Chapman smile and turned to bring the coffees over to the table.

"I know! I just need to get a few more things down on paper in case I forget anything and I'll be right with you." Alex reached for Piper's hand and brought it to her lips to kiss her knuckles. "Give me 10 minutes, OK?"

"Sure. I've got Jane upstairs waiting." Piper smiled, but Alex was already poring over her notepad with a pen between her teeth.

An hour passed before Piper heard Alex talking on the phone animatedly. She couldn't hear the words, but she could tell it was a call where grand plans were being shared and she went back to her book again, flipping the page and stretching out on the bed. Her stomach started to grumble after another hour and a half had passed, so she folded the page over to save her place and got up. Walking downstairs, she could see that Alex was tapping out an email on her laptop, her back to the door.

"Hey. You want some lunch? I've no idea what you've got in to make it with…." Piper wandered over to trail her hand along Alex's shoulders and kissed her on the cheek.

"Shit, sorry Pipes. Time got away from me. Let me make you something." Alex stood up and brought her hands to cup Piper's cheeks before leaning into kiss her softly on the lips.

"It's OK. It's been nice to be able to read for a bit." Piper stretched up into the air before dropping into Alex's seat as the taller woman headed to the fridge.

"You want a salad? These avocados should be perfect to eat today. I've got some prawns in here too….." Dark hair disappeared inside the fridge to investigate further for a moment.

"Salad is good. Listen, I can head over to the gym for a bit if you want to work?"

"No! I wanted to spend the weekend with you." Alex popped back up from the cold shelves and knitted her eyebrows together, non-plussed at the suggestion that they could be parted. "I wasn't expecting this Barcelona call, but I couldn't really tell them to wait when I could snatch the deal from the jaws of competition." She sighed as she moved the ingredients to the counter top to cut them. Alex was frowning as she removed the avocado flesh.

"It's fine. I could come back after I've worked out and we can do something this evening instead if you want." Piper stood up to get a drink of water and Alex moved to snake her arms around her waist as she drank at the sink.

"I don't want to be here without you though (kiss)." Alex whispered into her ear before letting go and walking over to the table. "Look….it's closed now. I'm all yours right from this very moment." Alex snapped her laptop closed mid-email and returned to Piper, grinning hopefully.

"Until you're checking your email on your phone later." Piper rolled her eyes and folded her arms.

"I won't. Here. It's all yours." Alex slid her phone across the counter and put her hands up in surrender.

Piper smirked and took a step forward. "Are you carrying any more concealed weapons Ma'am?"

"Ah….you'll have to frisk me to find out."

XXXXX

Piper found it hard to leave Alex on Monday morning, after spending a great three days and nights with her. They were both awake early on account of the alarm calls for Alex to get up and get into work to meet with her management team to go through the options for the possible contract in Spain.

"Is it bad form if I call in sick?" Alex snuggled into Piper's neck after switching the beeping off.

"Totally. You should be setting a good example." Piper pulled Alex's arms around her more.

"Aren't you going to try and encourage me even a little to bunk off with you?" She asked, nuzzling her nose into the blonde hair behind Piper's ear.

"No. Because _I'm_ not bunking off." Piper chuckled as she lifted Alex's arm to slip out of the covers.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I have a meeting with Sarah at 9am, then I have to go to work before Red changes her mind. The money should be in the account today." Piper grinned as she remembered their grand plans could go full speed ahead now. Alex leaned up onto her elbow, watching Piper search her bag.

"You have another couple of hours to lie in bed with me then." Alex patted the warm sheets next to her, smirking.

"Nu-uh. I'm not making the mistake of one last cuddle in the warm bed with you. It's a trap I've fallen into way too many times before. Your alarm was set for 6:30 for a reason young lady. Now get your lazy ass up and stop trying to lead me into temptation with those eyes…..I'm not going to look at you…"

"Spoil sport." Alex threw the covers back and jumped out of bed, circling her arms around Piper's waist, despite the shorter women being part way through pulling her sports bra over her head.

"Argh! Alex!" Alex was very temped to take advantage of her compromising position, but checked herself and kissed Piper's temple before releasing her and walking into the bathroom to shower.

XXXXX

Piper continued to be nauseatingly happy for the rest of the day, making her anger management session quite laughable since she was a doe-eyed fawn for the whole hour.

"Do I have to see you again next week? I'm not sure I want to endure another hour of you being so agreeable and positive about everything. It's my job to try and get you more like that and you're non-qualified girlfriend has basically put me out of a job today."

"Yes you do have to see me next week because my non-qualified girlfriend insists that someone with certificates deals with the Chapman monster. There's no telling when it might jump out of the closet."

"I think I'd rather deal with the monster than the fluffy bunny. Can you tell I'm a little bitter and twisted that I'm still agonising over my online dating profile?"

"No….Doesn't show at all!" Piper laughed. "Are you seriously trying dating apps?"

Sarah sighed, slightly embarrassed that she'd said anything to a client. "Yeah, I'm getting too old for the shouty exchange of hobbies and sibling numbers on a nightclub dance floor. Do you think there might be realistic options in the knitting circles of Williamsburg I could tap in to? God, listen to me. I sound like some pensioner hoping to find love in the local newspaper! It's so much easier when you're twenty." Sarah groaned as she packed her files away into her bag.

"I loved those days! College parties where you weren't even looking but you'd end up with some random stranger grinding his crotch up against your ass in the narrow hallways." Piper laughed.

"Ugh, not so much that part for me, but girls were much more ready to experiment at least." Sarah waggled her eyebrows.

"What's your type? Maybe I can help?"

"Um, no. Thanks for the offer but I'm actually not even registered with an app yet. I'm at the 'research phase' right now."

"Oh! OK. Sorry, didn't mean to pry."

"It's fine. I'm one of life's procrastinators when it comes to stuff like that. Great at giving out the advice in my day job, damned awful at following the same advice myself. Maybe I ought to set myself up as a paying client n my own books?" Sarah laughed and threw her bag over her shoulder. "So, same time next week?"

XXXXX

"How the fuck am I supposed to know which of these prissy College grads to invite for an interview without a photo to go off?" Nicky huffed as she dropped the pile of resumes on the only clear patch of desk in the office.

Lorna eyeballed Nicky for cluttering her desk yet again because she couldn't even see her own under chocolate bar wrappers and a pair of Doc Marten boots. "You go off their qualifications and experience Nicky. Look and see who meets our criteria and those that don't go on that pile over there." Lorna pointed to the neat pile in the filing tray on her desk with sticky notes marking the pages.

"Criteria? Well where the Hell am I supposed to find that? Why can't they just put it on the front page and make it easier?...Yo Stretch! Can't someone else do this?" Nicky waved at the pile of papers, exasperated by the prospect of reading.

"Like who? You see anyone sitting on their ass twirling a pen around their fingers in here? No? Guess that makes you the best person for the job then." Alex tossed over her shoulder from her office.

"Seriously? I bet Chapman would _love_ this job…She'd be all giddy with the choice of highlighter pens and sticky paper….."

"Piper doesn't work here Nicky. You do. Get on with it and stop bitching." Alex murmured as she went through the figures in her costings spreadsheet.

"What about Soso? When do we get her back?"

"She's staying at PoPi, so forget hatching that plan."

"Is she now? And who is paying for that I wonder?" The thought was out of Nicky's mouth before she could check it and the sound of Alex's chair screeching across the floor made her wince.

"None of your fucking business is who. Do you have _anything whatsoever_ to do with payroll? No? Then wind your neck in." Alex glowered from the doorway of her office before turning on her heel and slamming the door shut to block out any further distraction from the other room.

They had nowhere near enough resources to take on this contract so quickly and nothing like the skills and experience they'd need to properly make it into the big leagues. Asking an ex-con with zero logistics qualifications to select candidates for a management team for her was fatally flawed and it was a little unfair to put this on Nicky when her friend openly admitted she was at a loss for what to do. Rubbing her temples, she wracked her brains for any other contacts who might be able to help her out at short notice. Red was an option, but she was old school and would likely have a skewed view on college applicants anyway. Her Lawyer would charge a fortune for getting in some expertise, but he could point her in the right direction and she begrudged giving him an exorbitant amount of cash for the privilege.

There was a quiet knock at the door and Alex sighed as Nicky stuck her head through the small gap. "Am I allowed in if I make a grovelling apology and pay for a month of take away nights?" Alex waved her hand toward the sofa in her office as a reply.

"That was outta line what I said before. It's none of my business what you've got your employees doing." Nicky raked her hands through her hair, feeling awkward while Alex looked on with a clenched jaw.

"I'm sorry, OK? It won't happen again."

Alex pulled her glasses up into her hair before sitting forward onto her elbows in her chair. "You're sort of right though. It isn't a job I should be asking you to do….We're way out of our depth on this one I think."

"Well...I'm not going to second guess where you're heading with this…so how about I nod in the right places while you tell me what scheme is running through your head?"

"I want this deal in Spain. _They_ came to _us_. Which means we were a pretty fucking good option the first time around. Now it's worth even more, I really want to pull it off…..But then I wonder why the other company couldn't make the grade and if we'd end up shooting ourselves in the foot? I mean, we had most of the guys pulling seven day shifts to get the Italian deal delivered. Do we want to try that again while we're still doing the next deal for Milan?"

"You can't compare that though. We didn't have half the resources when we got that order and Bill's team were brand new to our way of doing things. We're more united now. We know what they can do and hey know we can get them organised and keep it profitable. Bill can expand over there you know. Don't forget he's on skeleton staff because of the redundancies and they've barely recruited until recently. We're short on Managers to take a load off you and bring some experience and new ways of doing things to what we're doing here…You can't do it all Alex."

"Do you think I should stop chasing it?"

"No. The fucking opposite man. You were wired when you called me on Sunday, you were so excited about this contract. I'm saying pull out all the stops to bring this mother fucker in!"

Alex chuckled and sat back in her chair again. "You think we can do this?"

"Yes! Now pull your pretty head out your ass and make it happen Stretch!...Also, am I allowed to go and buy decent coffee if you're making me dry my eyeballs on those resumes?" She asked as she stepped towards the door.

"Yes. But I am gonna ask Piper to do the shortlisting….See, you do have good ideas sometimes." Alex shrugged.

Needy girlfriend option it was then. She dialled Piper's number and waited for it to ring a couple of time before Piper answered.

"Hey, missing me already?"

"Of course."

"Just for the record, you called me first."

"Thanks for explaining the science of telephone communications. I'd be lost without your genius brain."

"If this is a quiz show, you'd better get on with the million dollar question. I'm pretty sure you're on a timer right now."

Alex laughed. "Remind me what your specialist subject was?"

"Ah, so many….Meredith Grey's family tree and her people…..The job titles and office locations of Alicia Florrick and an ability to name that tune in one note of any song featured in a Disney movie….Any of those on your list right now?"

"Er…..nope."

"Shame. My talents are so wasted on you."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"If this is about to become phone sex, I'm in the store room with Brooke and Tricia." Piper turned to see exactly the reaction she had expected on Brooke's face and smirked as she walked into the main store where Polly was standing.

"Another time then…..I was actually going to ask if you would be able to help me shortlist for the new management posts we're creating to look after the contracts…..seeing as you know all the acronyms for fancy college educations."

"Sure. How many have you got?"

"Half a Nicky – if she brushed her hair down."

"Not many then. Can you bring the resumes over tonight?"

"I can. You don't mind?"

"Of course I don't. It will take my mind off the court case anyway. You want me to ask Pol about helping with interviews?"

"Shit, that's tomorrow already?"

"Yeah. Really, I would rather have a purpose tonight to keep my mind occupied. I'm kinda glad you're asking, so bring everything over."

"OK, see you tonight and yes to asking Molly. Thanks babe."

XXXXX

Alex cooked dinner while Piper set herself up on the floor in front of the sofa with the resumes, job descriptions and highlighters. They worked together on sorting the short list, with Piper reasoning that a mix of very experienced and more expensive managers working alongside newer and highly motivated graduates would be better than a higher number of inexperienced ones. Piper was getting ready to go through the files one last time to highlight key words for ease of interviewing when Alex stopped her.

"Come on. We need to wind down now. Your Lawyer may prefer you to look like you haven't slept for the stand, but I'm the one who has to tackle cranky Piper in the morning before anyone else." Alex bundled the files up and put them in the back of the car so the temptation wasn't there for Piper to sneak out to them in the middle of the night.

"I'm not tired though." Piper whined when her new toys were taken away.

"I know. Which is why we're winding down. Do you want some chamomile tea?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." Alex shrugged.

"What happened to the badass Alex who partied all night and tried to put her hand up my skirt on any bar stool that would let her?" Piper raised a brow.

"Would you rather I did that than make you a cup of tea?"

"Yes."

"Deal. Obviously. Will you be putting a skirt on to make the experience authentic?"

"I can't be bothered. Improvise." Piper challenged, her eyes sparking. Alex's eyes crinkled up at the corners when she chuckled at the remark and she shuffled closer on the sofa, moving her hand to rest on Piper's thigh.

"Alright….Are you gonna coach me through it?"

"Are you ready to take the plunge….so to speak?"


	90. Chapter 90

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I always love hearing from you and it's great to see there are still new binge readers joining and following - welcome! I've been in two minds about closing this story down as it's far longer than it was meant to be. Closing it to open a part two I mean. But it's not a good point to stop and it would be confusing to pick it up as new from this point. I just feel like there's more left in these characters to give. Hope you agree? Anyway, 'Pregpongate' is a drama all of its own right now...crikey, there's enough passion about the topic to cause a prison riot. Don't get any ideas Jenji! My main concern is how the Devil they would write a storyline for their leading lesbian in a prison bunk to be suddenly carrying a child - the worry being that they wouldn't try to hide it behind strategically placed furniture, but write her out of the show. We definitely have another series of Alex as they just wrapped, but what next? Dun dun dun...**

 **On with the story...this chapter is a biggie...it's a biggie-slow ;-)**

Piper was laid in bed, with Alex's body moulded around her back and her pale arms wrapped around Piper's torso gently. She was trying so hard to get some sleep, but dreams would not come. They couldn't seem to get into her mind for all of the thoughts whirring around in there already. She tried to focus on Alex, on her warmth, her even breathing as the taller woman slept soundly against her. She tried to even her breaths to match Alex's pattern….then to not think about the pattern at all…to try and count sheep jumping fences, a black space….tensing and relaxing all of her muscles one by one….All of the tricks she had in her bag weren't working. Maybe she just wasn't giving them long enough to work….. She shifted in the bed again and felt Alex move her fingers up her ribs to soothe her briefly before slipping back to sleep.

Sighing at constantly disturbing her girlfriend's peace, she gently lifted Alex's arm and slipped from under the covers. Pulling on her robe, she tiptoed out into the kitchen and put the small lamp on before opening the fridge and getting some milk to make a hot cup of cocoa.

By trying everything in her power to think of any topic apart from the court case, she had succeeded only in multiplying her worries ten-fold, spreading her bets over a much wider range of decisions and concerns than she wanted to.

She warmed the milk in a pan slowly as she tried to resolve some of the endless questions running through her mind.

What if Darryl's Lawyer made her out to be a liar? What if he brought up her time in Litchfield? Maybe her knew about her being raped there and he was going to reveal it to everyone in the court room as part of his questioning….Maybe he would make it look like she was the girl who cried wolf…..But that would be silly, because she didn't report it….Would he make it look like she was trying to get back at men for what happened in there? Would he talk about her sexuality as a reason for her being a man-hater? Oh God…..what if they had been following her and they brought in her relationship with Alex? How would she explain that to her parents?

Suddenly aware of the hot liquid simmering on the stove, she turned it off and poured it into a mug with the cocoa, stirring it gently as she made her way to the sofa.

Was she supposed to play the prim and privileged white girl from the suburbs? The well-educated business woman? The street-smart city dweller? Was she supposed to be herself? That somehow seemed even harder than any of the other roles she might have considered applying for.

She opened the book that she had started at Alex's apartment and picked up the chapter she left off, forcing her brain to translate the words into imagery that wasn't court related as she sipped her drink. It was a couple of hours later when she was yawning and turned the last page. Feeling more relaxed, she went back into the bedroom and removed her robe. Alex was is pretty much the same position Piper had left her in, only with a bunch of the covers tucked up to her chest instead of Piper.

XXXXX

She managed a couple of hours of fitful sleep before she got up as her alarm went off. Opting to keep her mind and body as busy as possible, she went out for a run, wanting to burn off any rage before she started to get snappy with Alex from the lack of sleep and anxiety for what she had to face today. Exhausted by the time she relented, she walked back into her home on wobbly legs to find Alex was making coffee.

"Hey."

"Hey. Take it you couldn't sleep last night?" Alex blew across her coffee to cool it before taking a sip.

"Did I wake you? Sorry."

"Not really. Feel better after your run?" Alex walked over to where Piper was sat on the floor, stretching her muscles slowly.

"A bit. I wanted to keep going. I guess I was feeling a bit Forrest Gump this morning."

Alex chuckled as she leaned down to lift Piper's chin so she could kiss her on the lips.

"Good job you stopped, I can already feel your prickly beard coming through."

Piper swatted her away and stood up. "I'm going to get a shower...I guess we'd better set off soon."

"Yup. Shall I see if I can rustle up anything edible from your store cupboard for breakfast?"

"No. Thanks, but I don't think I could keep anything down anyway." Piper made a tight lipped smile before looking away.

Alex watched her turn to walk to the bathroom. Her hands wanted to reach for her and hold her tight. Her lips wanted to kiss it better and whisper reassurances, but she knew that Piper needed to keep control and forced herself to stop and do this whatever way Piper needed.

Piper followed her Lawyer's instructions and wore an outfit that met his criteria - something smart and expensive looking that she'd wear to a family event with her mother. She loathed the fact that these knee-length dresses with sleeves even had to reside in her wardrobe since she hated everything they stood for and felt immediately uncomfortable in it. She put some small stud earrings in and curled her hair t the front, before trying up into a bun. She looked ready to head to a fund raiser with her mother when she looked in the mirror. Debating whether to disregard everything her Lawyer had said, Alex walked in and whistled as she leaned against the door frame.

"Wow...you look...like your mother." Alex couldn't bite back the grin that was bursting from the lips she had pressed tightly together when she saw Piper's eyes flash up.

"This is my worst nightmare."

"Will you be wearing a pair of white gloves when you get your small clutch bag onto your lap in the car?"

"Shut up."

"It's very Jackie O...Should I worry about snipers while we're en route?" Alex moved to stand behind her, snaking her arms around her waist as they looked into the mirror.

"There's more than enough _sniping_ already from those lips." Piper rested her hands over Alex's on her hips. Alex laughed and turned Piper away from the mirror to face her.

"C'mere." She stroked Piper's cheek before running her finger over her pink lips tenderly. "It's gonna be alright." Alex leaned in to kiss her chastely and slowly before Piper started to get anxious and the blonde reciprocated, pulling Alex closer by her belt loops.

"Mmmm...Mrs Chapman...we can't...what if Bill finds us...?" Alex husked as she ran a hand up to squeeze Piper's breast through the dress.

"I hate you."

XXXXX

They stopped at a coffee shop on the way and Piper agreed to a skinny latte for breakfast. Alex bought a couple of slices of banana loaf and a bagel, hoping to persuade Piper to eat something before she had to leave her with her Lawyer.

Piper was fidgeting with her dress as they sat in traffic and Alex soothed her thigh every so often, but left her with her thoughts for the most part.

"So, I think my parents might be there today..."

"OK...um...good?"

"Yeah...yeah, it is...In the gallery I mean."

Alex tightened her grip on the wheel as she waited for Piper to finish.

"They won't recognize you...I mean...they don't know what you look like, so they won't know who you are."

"Well, we haven't been introduced I suppose." Alex clenched her jaw, getting impatient for the part where Piper asked her to wait in the car.

"I know...Oh God...I didn't think they were coming, but Dad left a voicemail on my phone last night saying they would be there." Piper glanced over at Alex, but her eyes remained fixed on the tailgate in front of them.

"Say what you need to say Piper."

"I know you're going to be pissed at me for asking this, but I need us to say our goodbyes in the car. If they see me with you, there will be a whole lot of questions that I'm not ready for...and it's not that I'm-."

"It's fine. I get it. Are you coming home with me or staying with them?" The question was to the point and the hurt was poorly masked by the simplicity of the statement.

"Alex, don't be pissed at me please...I can't-."

"I said it's fine. You've got to see your family too. I just want to know if you want a ride home with me or not."

Piper dropped her head back onto the head rest and her shoulders began shaking. Alex pulled the car over to the side of the road and cut the engine.

"Do _not_ do this. Hey, look at me." Alex's voice was stern and she moved Piper's chin to face her.

"You're not going to lose your shit because your family are here. That's not important today."

Tears began pooling in her blue eyes ad spilled over when she tried to blink them away.

"I'm not mad Piper. I've got no right to be sulky either. Sure, I want to be the last person to hold you and kiss you before you take the stand. I want to be the first person you see when you come back out again after killing it with your testimony. But I can't have that today and I have to accept it. I'll be right there with you though. I'm still going to be there."

"I'm sorry Alex...I know you hate this and my shitty excuses." Piper sobbed again.

Alex wiped the tears away quickly. "Sshhhh. Pipes, we have time to deal with all of that later. Focus on getting this bastard put away for now. You're not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you with puffy eyes and letting him think these are for what he did. Focus on what your Lawyer has been coaching you and just keep thinking about what he tried to do to you as you're in that witness box."

Piper reached out and pulled Alex towards her, burying her face into her dark hair and inhaling the scent of her shampoo deeply. "I'm sorry."

"You have to get out of the apologies and into justice mode now babe." Alex stroked her back and kissed her hair carefully, not wanting her to be disheveled. "I was going to save the motivational speech for when we got there, but now is probably better when we're not looking over our shoulders." Alex pulled away and looked into the wet pools of blue in front of her. "Think about what he almost did to you and what he did to those other women who have waited so long for justice. Don't let anything get in the way of that. What happened to you when you went to prison is different. You're not charged with anything. You're just there to tell the truth and don't ever forget that."

Piper nodded slowly. "I love you."

"I love you too." Alex pressed their lips together. "Shall I lead you into battle?" Alex smiled as she started the engine.

XXXXX

Alex dropped her off near the entrance with a slice of banana cake for later and went to park the car, waiting a little longer in the car to stall the time she would have to see the Chapman's. She made some calls for work and checked her emails before pulling on a long wool coat and heading to the court room. She hung back until most people were seated before slipping in and taking a seat at the back. She could see Piper's parents seated four rows in front of her, recognizing her mother immediately from old photos. They were dressed smartly, but as though it were a bereavement for a long standing member of the golf club they were attending. The legal teams came in and it was Alex's first chance to see the man who had attempted to rape her girlfriend. She hadn't prepared herself for the well-dressed man who stood tall by the side of his defence team when everyone stood for the Judge to take his seat. She kept her eyes trained on him as though she might be able to get some retribution with her eyes burning into the back of his skull. Having not heard a word of the introductions to today's proceedings, Alex moved her eyes to the guarded door behind the witness box when she heard them call Piper to the stand.

Piper walked with shaky determination to the stand and stood with her hands resting on the worn wooden frame, awaiting further instruction from the court clerk. Her eyes were fixed only on the person leading her through the process and swearing an oath before she took a seat. Her own Lawyer led her through a series of pre-constructed questions and she visibly grew in confidence as she answered them and he nodded in acknowledgement a few times. Alex glanced over to Darryl as her Lawyer took a pause to check some notes in his file. He was watching Piper intently, clearly hoping to catch her eye as she sat and fidgeted in her seat. Piper's eyes roamed the room, finally lifting from the first third of the court to look beyond the legal teams and into the crowd. Catching sight of her parents in the front row, she pressed her lips into a quick smile before her Lawyer returned to the questions. Alex could see Darryl whispering to his Lawyer as Piper spoke and she balled her fists at the prospect of him making notes to pick the testimony apart later. They broke for lunch and as the clerk had everyone stand while the judge returned to chambers, Piper quickly scanned the crowd for Alex. Catching her eye, Alex smiled and gave her a thumbs up before the blonde was escorted out of another door.

After the recess, Alex returned to her seat and watched Piper take the stand where the defense team took over questioning. Piper was soon getting rattled when Darryl's Lawyer kept cutting her answers off when he'd heard what he wanted to hear. Piper found it rude to be interrupted in any conversation, but one where she was trying to provide a fuller explanation than he would hear was really unsettling her. He asked if she was single when she was preparing to go out that night, Piper confirmed she was. He asked her to confirm that she'd had a series of spa treatments in preparation for the night out, including a bikini wax and manicure. Piper confirmed this had happened. He then asked her if she routinely had those treatments done before a night out with friends. Piper confirmed that she didn't have them done routinely and he cut her off again by surmising that she went to extra efforts that night because she was seeking more than friendship. Piper attempted to say more, but was cut off by the Judge, asking her to only answer the questions as they were put to her. And so it continued with her choice of clothes, the fact she came alone to meet up, that she had accepted drinks and was seen by several witnesses to be having a good time and laughing.

Alex was getting increasingly agitated with how the events were being twisted to appear like Piper was actually _looking_ for someone to sleep with that night. The story they appeared to be weaving was one that saw Piper preparing to pounce on Steve, but turning her attentions to Darryl when it became clear that Steve didn't have the bottle to make a move on her. They were making her sound like she was throwing herself at him and Alex had to swallow hard and force herself to be still in her seat while they continue to harangue her girlfriend in front of a crowd. Piper's voice was raising more each time she was cut short or interrupting the defense team in their short summaries of events. Her Lawyer was raising objections, but they were overruled or too damned late to prevent the defense team from getting an inaccurate point across to the jury. If Alex's legal team were here and representing Piper, she'd be on the phone to the top dog already at this point to demand they pull their God-damned finger out and earn their money...But it was out of her control, like everything else today.

When Piper had to be quieted by the Judge again, her Lawyer asked for a short recess for some refreshment. Piper looked over to Alex as the court cleared, clearly upset with how it had been going. Alex mouthed 'you're doing fine' and offered a small smile, but it was scant reassurance as she walked through to meet with her Lawyer. Making some calls to the office outside the court, Alex got caught up in an issue Bill was having with the crane in the warehouse. The maintenance contract had expired and the company wouldn't give them a maintenance slot for 2 weeks an a pay as you go basis. The crane had seized up and it was the only one fixed to hoist the heavy loads onto the platform they had half filled already. The ship needed to leave in 48 hours.

"Alex, I can't play hardball with these guys on a call. I'm not getting the right person to answer and they're giving me the run around. Can you come over and we'll turn up on their doorstep to sort this out?"

"I'm in the middle of something right now. Can't you go alone? I can see if Nicky can go with you."

"We don't have any authority with them Alex. Can you postpone your meeting and do it another time? I really need your support on this or we'll miss the boat - in every sense."

Alex pinched the bridge of her nose. Apart from an occasional smile of encouragement when Piper looked at her, she was no use here whatsoever. If she left and Piper didn't see her in the gallery, it would be like she chose not to stay and support her girlfriend. Which is exactly the choice she had. Piper wasn't even leaving with her tonight.

"I'm sorry Bill, but I can't leave right now. You've got my support to handle this." She saw everyone heading back into the court room and checked her watch. "Call Nicky if you need any paperwork. My phone is going to be off this afternoon, so I need you to take care of this for me. Thanks." Alex switched her phone off and jogged back to the gallery in time to see Piper taking her seat again.

XXXXX

Alex didn't see Piper after they were finished for the day, so she texted her from the car.

'Hey, you did great today. The defense guy is an ass, but that's what he's paid for. I love you. Call me later. x'

She drove to see Bill in Newark and see how he'd got on today. The crane was wrecked. They'd tried to force the axle to move with brute force when it seized and the metal was twisted, so it would need a new arm as well. There was about $1 million in stock waiting to be moved onto the waiting ship, that was frustratingly right by the side of it and they couldn't do a damned thing without fixing the arm. That crane was fixed into the ground at the dock and had been used to take the stock off one ship, then move it to another that docked later. It was supposed to be easy money and done within the week. She looked over the maintenance contract with Bill and they'd not picked it up when they bought the business as it had lapsed over a year ago and hadn't been included in the sales pack.

"Are there any more of these surprises?" She waved the contract at Bill, angrily.

"He was cutting back on everything Alex. We were trying to keep people in jobs and took a decision to stop paying this to keep people on the payroll." Bill sighed, knowing how frustrated Alex was at this.

"Jesus Christ! Sometimes you've got to look at the bigger picture. Losing half a dozen staff would have paid this and kept the rest in a more secure company."

"Well, we'd had no issues with the cranes until.-"

"Don't." Alex put her hand up. "Have they quoted for the work?"

"I can't even get them out here. That's what I'm telling you..."

Alex's phone rang and it was Piper. "Can you give me a minute? I need to take this." She nodded towards the door and Bill stepped outside, closing it behind him.

"Hey. How are you?"

"Hey. It's nice to hear your voice...I'm OK."

"Tough day."

"Yeah, pretty sucky."

"Are you home?"

"No. I'm in the lobby of the hotel my parents are staying in. They're just checking in and then we're going out for dinner."

"OK. Well, you can come over later if you want company tonight."

"I'm pretty beat to be honest. I could do without this dinner tonight, but I think they feel like they're helping if they pay for a fancy meal."

"Alright, well the offer is there no matter how late you get finished."

"Thanks...was it as bad as I think it was today?"

"It's hard to tell which way these things are going to go. I guess you know that. But don't forget you're only one piece of the jigsaw here. There's a lot of evidence stacked against him. Whatever happens, you still walk out of there with your head held high."

"I know...Easy to say it, but not so easy to believe it...I've got to go. I love you too."

"Bye Pipes."

XXXXX

Piper was tired and really not in the mood to play happy families, but it had been a while since she had seen her parents. She tried to put on a brave face, but Carol was like a dog with a bone as she railed about the arrogance of the defense Lawyer and how he'd made her out to be a liar and a tart. It wasn't anything she wasn't already feeling, but Carol really hammered home the point that it was clear for everyone to see the picture they were painting. Piper's shoulders sank more and more as she pushed her food around her plate, with no appetite to move it to her lips. Bill managed to cut in and then sniped at her own Lawyer, saying his friend would have done a better job and Piper only nodded in agreement as her protests were stopped in much the same way as they had on the stand.

Her mother ordered another gin and tonic and Piper made her excuses to go to the ladies room. Looking in the mirror as she washed her hands, her face looked drawn and pale. She looked exactly how she felt, having eaten very little all day after only a couple of hours of sleep. In less than 12 hours, she would be taking the stand again for another day of bullying and she really didn't know if she could do it. She got her phone out and requested an Uber before walking back to the table and making her excuses with her parents about needing her beauty sleep. Her mother at least agreed that she looked like crap and should make more of an effort with her make up in the morning.

Arriving at her apartment, she dropped her keys onto the table and pulled a glass from the cupboard. She just needed a couple of gulps to take the edge off, so quickly unscrewed the cap from the Polish vodka she picked up on the way back. Filling the tumbler, she leaned over the counter and observed the glass for a moment before raising it.

"To being a fuck up." She toasted the air before quickly taking two big gulps.

The burn of the liquid down her throat was so good, her eyes closed to savour it. It had been too long since she had felt that immediate release of stress and it was very welcome tonight. Catching sight of her reflection in the lounge mirror across the room, she remembered she was still wearing the dress from court, so she immediately unzipped the back and stepped out of it, throwing it across the room and grabbing a t-shirt from the dirty laundry pile. She picked up the glass and took another glug, bringing the bottle with her as she moved to the sofa. She didn't put any lights on or even close the blinds as she lay back and put her legs along the length of the cushions.

The frustration of her story being twisted, the lack of sleep, the forced show of being 'fine' for hours on end and the misery she found herself wallowing in overwhelmed her. Lawyers dealt in facts. It was a fact that she had gone to extra effort that night she went out with Steve and Darryl and the facts pointed towards her wanting to make herself appear attractive as a single woman. The facts were that she knew she would be meeting up with at least 1 single man. It was a fact that she knew Steve had a crush on her. Was it a fact that she had the intention of finding more than friendship that night? She couldn't remember feeling that way, but maybe her time with Alex was distorting her memory. Maybe she was that tart that they were making her out to be and she was lying to herself to think otherwise.

She drained her glass before sitting up to refill it.

"To being exactly what everyone thinks I am."

As she lay in the dark, pondering where her life had gone so badly wrong, she saw that she was already a third of the way down the bottle and was starving. She got a packet of Cheerios and stuffed a handful in her mouth washing them down with the vodka when a text beeped through from Alex.

'Are you home yet or are you still planning charity dinners? x'

She noticed an earlier one from Steve asking how it went today and saying he'd be there tomorrow because he'd swapped shifts. There was another from Cal asking if he needed to book onto her visitor list yet and one from Polly asking how it had gone and to call her later.

Piper rolled her eyes and threw her phone back onto the table in front of her after seeing it was 9pm. Plenty of time to see the bottom of that bottle without interruption thank you very much.

She was elbow deep in the Cheerios box when her phone started ringing. Glancing at the screen she saw it was Polly and opted to ignore it. A few seconds later it beeped with a voicemail. She dusted her hands on her t-shirt and picked it up to listen to it.

"For someone with such a respectable upbringing, you have appalling manners. I just want to know what happened today. Did that fucker change his plea yet? Call me you asshole. I'm covering your hours remember...I also know where you live." She couldn't help but laugh at Polly's bluntness and started to type a text reply.

'I am an asshole. A whore too apparently. Go me!"

Polly rang back immediately.

"What the Hell are you talking about?"

"Well Helloooooo to you too BFF."

"Are you drunk?"

"Not nearly enough."

Polly sighed. "How much have you had?"

"None of your fucking business. I'm happy."

"Yeah, you sound like you've been laughing your ass off all day. Was it bad?"

"Yup. His Lawyer basically said I was setting up a honey trap for him and he was the victim for falling into it."

"Seriously? I'm pretty sure they'd call that _reaching_ on The Good Wife."

"I'd call it something far less elephant...eleren...posh."

"So you're drowning your sorrows in vodka now. I take it I'll be opening the store in the morning?"

"Yeah...because I have to face the firing squad again."

"Shit. You've got to answer more questions?"

"S'Okay...I'm good at exams."

"You're better at them when you aren't nursing a bohemouth hangover. How much have you had?"

"Maybe half."

"A bottle?!"

"Yeah. I don't know. It's dark." Piper put another handful of sugary cereal into her mouth.

"Sounds like you're not drinking on a totally empty stomach at least. Where's Supercunt?"

"Home I think. We're not joined at the hip."

"No, but you're normally joined by a body part close to it. Didn't she come with you today?"

"Yeah, but she was inconsistent...incognisant...hiding. From my parents."

"Do you want me to come over there and put you to bed?"

"No! I'm not ready for bed." Piper pouted.

"I disagree. Put the vodka away for tonight will you? Have a tall glass of water and some Advil and get into bed. If you're on the stand again, you don't want to be fucking this up by being nauseous when you need a clear head. It's not just about you Piper. Those other women are counting on you because of the strength of the evidence for your case."

Piper sighed. She really wanted to finish that bottle and feel like she had achieved something today. But Polly was right. It was selfish to risk fucking this up for everyone else because she had a shitty day of it.

"Alright. I'll go to bed."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"If I had the energy and I wasn't already in bed, I'd do the victory dance. Call me tomorrow ok? Love you."

"Yeah, ok."

XXXXX

Alex hadn't had a reply to her texts asking what time Piper wanted picking up in the morning, so she drove over and knocked on the door just after 8am. They didn't need to be in court until 10, so there was time to spare. Knocking louder a second time, Alex was reaching to look through the window when a sleepy Piper emerged to open the door.

"Well good morning sunshine!" Alex smirked as she leaned in to kiss Piper's cheek.

"You're eager aren't you?"

"To see you? Always." She grinned as she stepped past her into the lounge.

"Needy."

"Well, you haven't answered any of my texts. Am I a victim of ghosting?"

"It's not you, it's me.." Piper smiled.

"Oh, it's definitely you. No doubt." Alex asked as she walked past the coffee table, picking up the bottle of vodka from last night. "Party for one was it?"

"You weren't supposed to see that. Give it here." Piper took the bottle and dropped it into the cupboard in the kitchen, Alex hot on her heels.

"You had a rough day, I'm not going to judge you." Alex pulled Piper towards her by her hips for a kiss. "I am going to judge your morning breath though. Can you move oral hygiene up your to do list while I make us a coffee? Stale alcohol is so not my thing."

"Ugh. Why are you so cheery? You smell nice..." Piper inhaled Alex's shampoo before kissing her neck.

"If you keep doing that, I'm going to get more than cheery. Don't start something you're not gonna finish Chapman."

"I'm going to shower...Alone!"

Alex made coffees and took them into the bedroom while Piper showered. She was lying on the bed reading when the blonde came back, towelling her hair.

"You look comfy."

"Its still warm..." Alex winked and nodded at the empty pillow.

"We aren't going to bed."

"Spoil sport."

"You can lie on that pillow though. Make it smell like your hair. I could smell you on it last night. It was nice."

"Well that was clearly my mistake then. Otherwise you would have come to stay with me last night. I'd better stop scent marking things at your place."

"You're so gross!" Alex laughed and dodged the hand towel coming her way. A quiet moment passed as Piper moved hangers in her wardrobe for today's court room outfit, before Alex turned more serious.

"I missed you last night. I thought you might come over after dinner with your parents." She picked up her coffee in an attempt to appear casual.

"I wasn't good company. Just needed some time on my own...to process everything." Piper shrugged as she pulled out a navy skirt and jacket set and held it up against her in the mirror.

"That's ok. Did the vodka help with processing?"

"It always does. Too fucking easily." Piper sighed as she dropped the clothes onto the bed.

"You can talk to me you know. If you want to get things off your chest or rant or whatever. That's part of my girlfriend duties remember?"

Piper sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Alex's shin through her jeans. "I know. It was a spur of the moment thing to get that bottle last night. I'd just had enough you know? Everyone seemed to be piling in with criticisms of what I should or shouldn't have done, how they would have done things differently. I just needed to blow off some steam and i didn't have the energy for the gym. I'm sorry, ok?"

"I wasn't hoping for an apology Pipes. Just letting you know I want to be here for you." Alex reached forward to take the hand stroking her leg. "I totally get why you wanted to process and why you would want to have a drink last night. I worry that you'll use that as a crutch instead of me though...and I can't stand the possibility of finding you like I did at New Year...I don't like to think about what might have happened if Polly hadn't been so determined to check you were OK."

"I know. Sometimes my dark and twisty mind takes over though."

"I want to be your crutch Pipes. Dark and twisty and every shape and shade in between."


	91. Chapter 91

**A/N: There might be a couple more chapters after this one, but we're reaching the end now. Thanks for reading and for your reviews and comments. It's been fun! Enjoy your weekend, however you're spending it ;-)**

Alex declined two more calls in the car before switching her phone off when they stopped at a café so she could get something to eat later.

"Is that work again? It might be important." Piper asked as Alex shut the engine off.

"Nicky and Lorna can deal with it. It's fine. Do you want a toasted bagel or anything?" The subject was subtly changed as she slipped out of the car and grabbed her purse.

"No. I don't feel hungry. Thanks."

Alex shrugged and went inside, leaving Piper alone with her thoughts about what awful things the defence team might drag up in front of her family today. Her stomach turned with the thought of them recounting her time in prison. What if they knew about the rape? Could they subpoena her counselling files and bring that up? Briefly toying with the idea of a rushed confession with her parents before she met her Lawyer, she felt her anxiety rising and got out of the car to cool down. She was stooped with a hand on the hood when Alex came back with a brown bag.

"What's wrong?" The worry was clear in her voice as she put the coffees onto the car roof and stepped towards the blonde.

"It's nothing. Just nausea I think."

"You haven't eaten anything yet." Alex rubbed her back in show circles.

"I just need some fresh air. It will pass in a minute."

After a couple of minutes, Alex reached for her coffee with her spare hand and took a couple of gulps as Piper controlled her breathing.

"Mmm, can I just say this coffee is mamazing? I thought the fancy Colombian beans were a sales gimmick, but totally worth the extra Dollar….. Looks like they do a mean cooked breakfast in the porch area too….We should stop by one morning and try it. Since you only seem to have vegetable smoothies at your place….you can treat me…"

"OK, stop talking about food now please." Piper stood up and filled her lungs one more time.

"You OK?"

"Better, yeah."

"You're not on trial Pipes." Alex put her coffee down again and pulled Piper into her embrace. "It really doesn't matter whether you sit in that seat and recite Shakespeare. They can't take you away from me."

"Maybe not, but they can drag my name through the dirt and put all my dirty linen out there for my family to hear."

Alex laughed softly. "Dirty linen? You have _nothing_ to be ashamed of. Do you hear me?" Alex peered down and lifted her glasses up into her hair to see Piper up close. "All of those things you are hiding from your family are things that other people did to you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're only shielding your family and friends from those facts."

"I just want this to be over."

"I know you do." Alex pulled her closer to hug her gently. "You've been through the mill these last few months haven't you?" It was a rhetorical question murmured into the recently shampooed blonde hair she was kissing.

"It just feels like its constantly raining shit lately."

Alex chuckled a little at the blunt observation, but couldn't argue with it. "Hmmmm. It will be over real soon OK? Shitclouds will run out of ammo and dry up, I'm telling you."

"They had better dry up and move along to some other poor sucker. I'm a case for the God-damned Red Cross right now." Piper broke their embrace and straightened out her suit.

"You could use some of their food parcels in your kitchen for sure." Alex smirked as she picked up the paper bag. "Here. I got you a skinny latte and a slice of toast."

"Thanks."

"How are you feeling?"

"Pukey."

"You might feel better if you eat something."

"Or I might feel pukey."

Alex rolled her eyes dramatically. "Do you want to drive while I eat mine then?"

XXXXX

Piper ate a cold slice of toast when they arrived in the car park. Her nervous energy had burned off last night's Cheerios and she was suddenly ravenous with a grumbling tummy.

"I can't believe you're eating my lunch. I was looking forward to that…." Alex pouted as Piper pushed the last of the bagel into her mouth and washed it down with the vitamin water that Alex was planning to take into the court room.

"Sorry….but also I'm not sorry. You won't have to eat something from the vending machine at lunch recess like I would."

"It's a good job I love you."

Piper reached over and pulled Alex closer to her in the car. "I love you too…..So much…..I couldn't do this without you."

"You totally could. You just like having me here because I always carry change for the parking meter."

"Asshole."

"Asshole with gas in her car and spare vitamin water though."

"See you later?"

"Count on it."

They had a long embrace in the car and Alex waited a good while to make sure she could slip into the back of the court room."

XXXXX

It was awful. Like a slow motion car crash that should have been avoided with diligent driving. They pulled her testimony apart every which way and Piper was not only losing her temper, she was losing her composure. The latter was worse because she was stumbling at the simpler questions too now, which played right into their hands. Her own Lawyer was getting frustrated that his objections were getting overruled and Alex was absolutely furious with the way the scene was unfolding in front of her. The Chapmans were once again seated a few rows in front, with Steve alongside them. She could catch Carol's platinum blonde bob shaking from side to side in disappointment every so often, but Bill stayed dead still throughout. Steve kept running his hands through his short hair, so at least he was getting frustrated with the questions being turned inside out to get the answer they wanted. He got up to take a breather and calm down, catching Alex's eye as he left. He stopped in his tracks briefly as he hadn't expected Alex to be there, clenching his jaw tightly as he unfixed his icy stare to push the door open. Alex rolled her eyes and remained seated, determined to listen to every word for Piper's sake. They broke for lunch and Alex left quickly, walking toward the car park so she could find a local café for something to eat.

"Surprised you're still here." Alex stopped at the voice behind her and turned slowly. "But then you do like to be at the centre of a courtroom drama, don't you?"

Steve was sitting on a bench against the wall outside the main doors.

"Last I saw, it was you sitting in the centre of the court room _Steve_."

"That's where you sit when you're a witness as a result of _protecting_ someone you care about….I guess you'll never know."

Alex stepped closer and tried to keep a lid on the fury that was swirling inside her veins.

"That's exactly right. I won't…. You know why? Because I wouldn't be fucking _stupid_ enough to introduce Piper to a fucking _rapist_ in the first place Steve."

Steve stood up to match her height quickly, pushing her pointed finger aside.

"No! Just an international drug ring where her life was in danger every God-damned day! You don't deserve to sit in the same fucking room as her after what you did. Why can't you do the decent thing for once in your life and walk the Hell away? You keep fucking with her like a damned toy and as soon as you get bored, you'll drop her. Then the rest of us will have to pick up the pieces."

Alex lost it and pushed him back against the wall, pinning him by the throat with her forearm.

"Oh and you'd just fucking _love_ that wouldn't you? Let's face it, it's the only chance you'd ever have with a girl like her! It cuts you up that I can have her doesn't it? That I've _tasted_ her and fucked her…that I've-."

Alex's words died on her lips as Carol Chapman appeared.

"There you are, I thought-." She stopped, sensing she had interrupted something between the two. They stopped talking, but their eyes remained fixed in an icy exchange of unspoken words and Alex dropped her arm, putting her hands into her pockets quickly.

"Is everything OK? I was going to ask if you wanted anything for lunch…..but if you and your friend need to talk-."

"She's not my friend." Steve broke the eye contact to look at Carol, rubbing his throat and straightening his shirt.

"Oh, it looked like you were….. Did you want to have lunch with us?" Carol stood, looking between them.

"We're finished here. Wouldn't want you to miss your five a day _Doctor_." Alex waved dismissively as she turned and walked towards her car quickly.

"Who was that?" Carol whispered before Alex was out of earshot.

"Nobody you need to worry about."

XXXXX

Alex slammed the car door shut before punching the head rest on the seat repeatedly.

"FUCK!"

"Way to introduce yourself to the in-laws Vause." Her head dropped back and she sighed at losing her cool so quickly. Adrenaline was still flowing in her blood as she drove around the streets looking for a place to stop and eat. Replaying the events of the day wasn't calming her down at all and she was wound up to the point of punching someone in that court room if she went back. Picking up a tray of doughnuts and some bagels, she opted to head to the office and face the shit storm she had been avoiding with the crane. She could at least channel her anger at someone in a way that might do something useful.

She took the food upstairs and kicked the door ajar, placing it on the desk as Nicky looked up.

"I'll call you back." She cut the call she was on and stood immediately to stride towards Alex.

"Where the fuck have you been? You seriously thinking a belly full of sugar is going to sort this shit out?!"

Alex turned and took her coat off, avoiding Nicky's steely gaze.

"We're about to lose a couple of million fucking Dollars here! Callahan is absolutely blowing up over in Chicago because his precious machinery hasn't moved a God-damned inch since the last empty promise I made this morning! Jesus Christ, we're tearing our hair out here and you walk in with _doughnuts_." Nicky stood behind her, hands on hips, incredulous at Alex's apparent composure in the eye of the storm. "Are you so stupidly rich that you don't give a shit? What the fuck is wrong with you Vause?"

The dark-haired woman stopped booting her laptop and turned calmly towards the office door where Nicky was standing. Her tone was measured when she replied and Nicky stopped in her tracks.

"Have you finished stating the obvious now? Is there anything else I already 100% know with absolute certainty that you'd like to throw in my face again for good measure?...No? Then I suggest you fill that mouth of yours with a doughnut and maybe Lorna can tell me something fucking useful so I can look at what we _can_ do."

"Jesus Alex….We're all stressed OK? You weren't answering your phone, Bill is losing it over there with a bunch of guys we're paying to play poker right now….I just thought you'd be more involved…."

"I know. Alright? I fucking know!" Alex walked back into her office and slammed the door shut, dialling Bill's mobile number. Nicky could hear Alex shouting through the thin walls and Bill was getting both barrels as she and Lorna eyed each other nervously. Lorna pulled together some paperwork and knocked on the door when she heard Alex had ended the call. She quietly explained the cost options and where they stood from a legal perspective on insurance for not getting this shipment sent. It was 20 minutes before Alex emerged with her coat on.

"I'm going to see the maintenance contractor." Was all she said before she walked out of the office again with her keys.

The meeting was exactly what she needed. She was effective in brushing absolutely every member of staff aside until she got to the very top of the company, interrupting a meeting he was having in his office with a potential client.

"Mr Kazinski, right? Are you aware of the broken crane in the Newark docks of NY Logistics?" The small, balding old man looked at her dumbly.

"I'm in the middle of something-."

"Yes or no. Are you aware?" Alex pressed on, holding the contract in front of his face.

"Yes, I'm aware. I-"

"Do you have the skills in this company to fix it?"

"Of course we do, but-"

"Who can fix it?"

"Look, I don't know who you are, but-"

"I _hate_ that word. You're using it a lot. Who can fix it?"

"I'm calling security."

Alex stepped to the desk and pulled the phone wire out of the wall. The man sitting in the comfy chair opposite stood quickly, not sure where to look.

" _Who?_ "

"Who the Hell are you coming in here without an appointment?"

"Alex Vause, owner of NY Logistics. Pleased to meet you." Alex held her hand out, but the guy just looked at it. "I'll speak plainly as I don't have time for the getting to know you details right now. I'm either going to be your biggest customer or the ex-customer with the biggest lawsuit against you by the end of today. You choose." She turned to the guy standing nervously by the door. "Your meeting just adjourned. Have a nice day."

"Choose quickly Mr Kazinski because I'm not in a very patient mood right now."

"Ms Vause, I will not be bullied into doing anything."

"Right." Alex rolled her eyes as the door opened again and a smart guy in a suit walked in.

"Sorry I'm late Ms Vause. I've got the information you wanted. You want me to take over from here?" Her Lawyer hurried through the door with a couple of legal Aides carrying boxes next to him.

"Yes please. I'll leave you to it Rob. Call me when we have the contact details for their best guy." She turned to the bewildered man still clutching the contract she had put in front of him earlier. "Pleasure doing business with you Mr Kazinski. Have a nice day."

Alex headed to Bill's warehouse unit and straight into the table where the majority of staff on shift were involved in or watching a card game.

"I don't pay you to sit on your asses. Get the fuck out of this cosy room and get onto that ship to ready it for the rest of the cargo. Once you've finished that, tidy this place up. If I catch one fucking person sitting on their ass for the remainder of this week, you can kiss your job goodbye. I don't care if you're painting the walls or cleaning the bathroom, you're here to work. Playtime is over."

After watching the grumbling team quickly disperse, she went up to face Bill. She'd worked out most of her anger already and was feeling a bit remorseful at the way she had spoken to him earlier, so she knocked on the door before walking in.

"Bill….before you say anything….I'm sorry we had that call earlier. I want you to know that I do take your advice on board and I know you did as much as you could. I would normally be right there to help you….I've just got ….some personal stuff going on right now. I've been in court for a couple of days to support my girlfriend. She's been giving evidence in an assault case and I needed to be there with her."

Bills' features softened a little after the early apology and he nodded as Alex finished explaining why she wasn't picking up her calls.

"I guess it doesn't matter anyway now though. We messed up on the maintenance contract and we're going to cost you that logistics contract with Callahan because of it aren't we?...God, I thought we'd be able to get better at this stuff with a fresh start….I'm so sorry Alex….I just didn't think to check it." Bill rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, if there's anything else you'd like to share about lapsed maintenance, now would be a good time to mention it."

Alex's phone rang.

"Hi Rob. How's it going over there?...Good….Alright….Can you get the number for him?...Great, thanks. I'll call you in a minute."

"Here. The guy's name is Marty Fullbrook. Can you give him a call and see if he needs an assistant? He's going to fix the crane today."

"What? How did you….?" Bill took the number from Alex. "Nevermind. Let's get this show on the road." He started dialling the number from the paper and Alex waited to check this guy was on his way, thumbing through the manifest as she waited for Bill to finish the call.

"He's on his way."

"Good. Can we prioritise what's left in here?"

They worked through what Alex knew to be the most urgent things that couldn't go any route other than by sea and worked out what could go by freight train. It was going to cost more than the contracts was worth, but they might not get sued for breach of contract.

Alex's phone rang again as Bill went to give instructions to the team on the ship.

"Pipes? Is everything OK?"

"Yeah. I thought you'd be here to take me home though. Where are you?"

"I'm with Bill. You're finished already? I thought you'd be there all day."

"I could say the same about you. You didn't come back after lunch."

"No….um. I was going to, but….something came up."

"I see that. It doesn't matter. Steve's offered me a ride."

"Of course he has."

"At least he's here Alex."

"I'm sorry OK? I was hoping to be back soon, but I got caught up with something at work." Alex pinched her nose in frustration, the image of Steve in shining armour, grinning at the prospect of rescuing her girlfriend.

"I know. You always are…..I'll talk later OK, I have to go."

Piper didn't wait for an answer before hanging up and Alex groaned in frustration as she saw the screen go black.

XXXXX

Alex went back to the office to update Lorna and Nicky on the plans to split the shipment and send some of the order by freight. There was no point in hurrying over to Piper's only to run into a smug Steve and potentially her bemused parents. So she opted to catch up in the office for a while. It was 6pm when Nicky knocked gently and pushed the door open, peeking through the gap.

"I come in peace…..with pizza….Have you eaten?"

"Errrr….no, not since this morning. Thanks."

Nicky dropped the box on to the desk and sat on the edge of the sofa.

"How's it going in court?"

"Honestly? Shitty."

"That bad huh?"

Moving her glasses up into her hair, Alex sighed and dropped her pen to pick up something to eat. "Yeah. They're ripping her apart up there. I keep telling her she's not on trial, but you'd think she was the way they are harassing her."

"It's their job I guess."

"I know. It's hard to hear them basically saying she was asking for it and twisting her answers so she looks like she's admitting it."

"How is she?"

"Last night, not good at all. She about finished a bottle of vodka and was well hung over when I went round this morning. This morning, she was nervous about a repeat performance and it was even worse….I don't know if they're finished with her now."

"That must be tough."

"I feel so fucking useless Nic. I basically sit there all day, watching them hurt her and there's not a thing I can do about it."

"Hey, you've done what you can with the crane now. Why don't you head back over there and see how it's going?"

"They've already wrapped. That pretentious fucking asshole _Doctor Steve_ is fawning over her right now…..You got any beers for this?"

"No. You're supposed to be driving remember?"

XXXXX

Piper had been anxiously checking the gallery in the court all afternoon, hoping for Alex's return. Her attention should have been on the questions and she was conscious of drawing her Mother's attention to the empty space on the back row she kept glancing at. She'd been angry at how easily something more important crops up at work with Alex, the excuses were always the same:

"I'll just be another 10 minutes babe."

"Something urgent has come up, so I have to take a rain check on our plans tonight."

"Nobody else can sort this out, I need to do it myself."

"I'm really sorry Pipes, it won't happen again."

She'd managed her usual internal conflict to give Alex the benefit of the doubt until she'd heard that she was with Bill while Piper had been getting grilled. After that call, she'd switched her phone off and gone back to join the Chapman huddle outside the courtroom. After initially trying to brush them off with excuses of feeling tired and wanting to rest because she wanted to see Alex, she invited everyone back to her place for take away and took Steve's offer of a ride.

It wasn't the company she wanted to have with her tonight, but she didn't want to be alone and Alex had chosen the company of her work colleagues over her. It wasn't the first time, but it stung like a memory she wanted to bury.


	92. Chapter 92

**A/N: Happy weekend! Saturday, where have you been when I've needed you all week?!**

Nicky went to get some beers from the store and Alex spoke to Rob to go through the contract he was drawing up for Mr Kazinski to sign.

"….So, let me get this straight….You've put someone onto costing the training and there isn't any place except in California who can deliver this stuff? That's ridiculous. The busiest ports in the whole country aren't in California!...Yeah…..I agree…Factor that in and look for a 25% reduction….I know, but you can find a way I'm sure…"

Alex waved Nicky back in.

"What's the story with the offices then?...They _own_ the whole floor? Seriously?!...Haha, you're kidding…..Well, keep that under your hat…..Send me the staffing profile and the P &L accounts on email and I'll take a look at them later. …..I hope you're including my frequent flyer discount on those rates…..Yeah, you know it…OK, speak to you later. Thanks Rob."

Alex put her phone on charge and reached for a cold beer. "Thanks Nicholls. You know how to keep me sane." She popped the top of held the bottle in the air to clink with the one Nicky had opened a moment ago. "To swimming in shit and finding a pearl."

"What are you up to Stretch?" Nicky eyed her sudden change in demeanour with curiosity.

"I might have a cunning plan that I thought was cracking a nut with a sledgehammer…but I might have accidentally found a goldmine in the process." Alex grinned.

"In English please."

"I'm buying the maintenance company who are fixing the crane."

"What?!" Nicky struggled to keep the beer in her mouth from escaping as she coughed her surprise into her hand, wiping it on her jeans.

"I'm buying the-."

"I heard that. Why?"

"Well, they're fixing the crane right now for starters."

"Huh? You don't need to buy the damned company for that surely?"

"Probably true, but I wasn't in any mood to procrastinate earlier."

"So, why?"

"I got my Lawyer checking over their contracts and he found that the guy had been trying to sell up about a year ago. A bit of due diligence on their accounts found they weren't investing in growing the business at all. Our time with Bill in Newark told me there are loads of companies with rusty old cranes down there and every other dock along the east coast. If we invest in that company and manage the contracts better, we could clean up by signing every shipping logistics firm in the Atlantic coast onto a retainer.

"Jesus Christ…." Nicky sat back on the sofa. "For a girl who spent more time making out and smoking under the bleachers than in class, you've got one Hell of a sharp brain for business Vause." Nicky was grinning, shaking her head at her friend's ability to be completely AWOL in a hurricane and stroll back in with the winning lottery ticket and a raised brow.

"I need to make the figures work first. I didn't exactly check my accounts before I bull-dozered this through earlier today. I didn't wake up this morning with this on my mind to be honest." Alex chuckled as the realization of how impulsive this whole move had been today.

"Can you afford it?"

"I think so. I might need to shuffle things around a bit, but we got a good bonus on that Milan order paid into the accounts and I want to work a deal where it's not all cash up front."

"I take it all back. You're a badass in business. Just think what you could achieve if you properly set your mind to it."

"Are you saying I _don't_?" Alex raised an eyebrow and peered over her glasses at her friend, who pondered her response briefly.

"No…..But be honest with me Alex…." Nicky put her bottle down and looked at her friend with all seriousness.

"You were willing to lose that contract and take the lawsuit at whatever cost this morning weren't you?"

Alex shifted in her seat and concentrated on her slender thumb working the edges of the label on her cold bottle instead. She was conscious of Nicky's eyes on her every movement and was about to make an off-hand remark when Nicky spoke again.

"You switched your phone off and risked $2million because you wanted to be with your girl." Nicky spoke softly, but her words were ringing through the air and bouncing off every wall in the suddenly very small office space they were sharing.

"You know I promised to give her a lift this morning Nic." Alex said simply, sighing. She wasn't in the mood for Nicky to complain about how much time she was spending with Piper lately.

"As much as all of this gets your gears going…." Nicky gestured at the office around them. "…Piper means more to you." Nicky shrugged, finishing her bottle.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Don't be stupid. You can't compare the two. Work is work and Piper is Piper."

"That's all you're giving me? I'm serious Vause." Nicky waited for an answer and a contemplative silence beat between them as Alex sorted through an array of replies in her head.

"Say what you like…" Nicky stood up finally, dropping her bottle in the trash. "I'm not making a big deal out of it. I know you didn't come back this afternoon because you were worried about the business Alex. You came back because you couldn't stand being so far away from her in that court room."

Nicky went out to pick her coat up from her chair and turned the main office lights out before popping her head back in the door.

"I'll leave you to lock up….Night."

XXXXXX

Piper sat in the passenger side of Steve's new car and smiled as he talked about the paper her was writing for a research fund at work. She managed to laugh in all the right places and even ask some questions that seemed in context with the topic he was so enthused about. He was obviously trying to take her mind off the day in court and it was a bit of a relief to not be having a post mortem in rush hour as they made excruciating progress towards home. She could see her mother in the side mirror every so often as they were practically towing them through New York. Her mother looked quite perturbed by being here, looking at her watch every so often and obviously complaining to her father about the traffic and what time they would be getting home tonight after this long road trip.

She sensed Steve had cracked another joke by his change in tone and laughed a little, the Chapman façade of good graces came in handy every so often. His workplace stories were drying up and she anticipated a shift to him questioning her about life, so she pre-empted him and asked about his father and if they had got the garden shed finished yet. That should keep him occupied for a while longer….Probably fifteen minutes til they're parked…20 minutes for everyone to drink coffee, to be judged on her laundry pile and the poor quality view from the windows on all sides….offer a take away because you haven't been shopping….they'll decline… because Dad will think of the long drive ahead of them…..Steve will accept…so….oh God, Steve will accept…God Steve will accept and there will be no diversion….It's Ok, he's just a friend staying for dinner…which Alex will _hate_ …..and she really wanted to see Alex. She wanted to movie-star roll out of the car and into oncoming traffic to get an Uber and head there right now to see Alex. But she was sitting in a car making polite small talk with a man she should be grateful to for making sure Darryl didn't execute his plan. The low life scumbag. Sitting there in his fancy designer suit and whispering to his Lawyer. It's rude to talk when someone else is talking. He doesn't even have manners. Asshole. As her fingers curled into fists by her sides, recalling the lines of questionning throughout the day, she felt the engine stop and saw they were outside her apartment.

Second guess this right and you could be done with this in an hour Piper.

"We're here already! Oh wow, the traffic wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. Come on let's get warmed up." She flicked the switch for Chapman mode.

XXXXX

Alex stayed in the office and tried to read through some contract information that Rob had emailed over, but she couldn't concentrate. Nothing was sinking in and she was re-reading the same clauses over and over to try and force her brain to focus. In the end, she sent him a quick message to say she'll try and pick it up again in the morning and cut the power to close everything down. She checked her phone for any messages and nothing from Piper was waiting to be opened. She twirled it between her fingers for a moment before dialing her number. It switched to answer machine straight away which either meant the battery was dead or Piper was not in a happy place. There were two beers left in the box that Nicky brought and she picked them up to open one as she dialled an Uber.

Sitting in the back of the car, Nicky's words kept running through like an annoying life quote she ought to roll her eyes at and move on.

"You couldn't stand being so far away from her in that court room."

It was Piper's ineffective Lawyer she couldn't stand. It was the defence team harassing Piper she couldn't stand. It was Saint Steve and his fawning eyes on her girlfriend she couldn't stand. It was Carol Chapman and her disappointed tuts and head shakes she couldn't stand. Or Bill and his apparent lack of emotion at what was happening to his daughter even. Maybe it was that she couldn't stand.

"You couldn't stand being so far away from her in that court room."

Did Nicky have any idea how ridiculous that even sounded? Alex wasn't some lovestruck teenager who couldn't be apart from the girl who circled 'yes' to her goofy dating question. They could be parted, they were very independent women for Christ's sake.

XXXXX

Her Dad was impressed with the fancy coffee machine she used and she caught herself before letting her reflex conversation take over from Chapman mode.

"Yeah, the benefits of having a rich girlfriend who is a coffee snob." Became "Yeah, the benefits of having a rich girlfr- as a daughter would not go to waste if I ever make the big time Dad."

He didn't notice the slip or Piper blushing from the shame of denying Alex's existence on impulse. It was hard to get over the disgust that she felt about that reaction and she briefly considered the reaction of her parents if she hadn't corrected herself. When her mother started to ask Steve if he was ready to settle down and have children, Piper grinned behind her coffee mug as he squirmed. It was nice seeing the spotlight on someone else, all the more for it being on someone who was too polite to roll their eyes and be flippant.

"A nice young Doctor like you should have been snapped up by now Steve. You work too much. You need to get involved in some local groups. There's a lovely young lady who has just started coming to the ladies luncheon club on a Wednesday afternoon who would love to meet someone like you. She's mid-twenties I think. That's a good time for having children you know."

Steve smiled through his blushes and tried to catch Piper's eye, but she was avoiding getting involved as she knew precisely where the child-bearing barometer was going to point next.

"Women have to be careful not to leave it too late you know….I keep telling Piper that." Her mother nodded towards her and Piper rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. You've been telling me so long I half expected to get a baby at the same time as my period. It's really not healthy to set those expectations you know." Piper was half joking.

"Well, you'd have to get a husband first dear. I absolutely wouldn't approve if you went about it any other way."

Steve glanced at her to check her reaction and Piper looked away from him quickly. "Oh, I know you wouldn't. Your expectations are very clear."

"I'm sure lots of men would want to date you Piper." Steve chipped in, blinking innocently. "Are you seeing anyone right now?"

"What I'm seeing right now is Victorian mob marching me into a shotgun wedding with a fishmonger who puts a note in the church collection every Sunday." She said sarcastically before casting a warning glance at Steve.

"I don't know what you're waiting for Piper. Polly has found a lovely young man and I bet it won't be long before Susan is taking her grandchildren to the park on the weekend."

"Maybe I'm not waiting. Not all women want to make babies and get married you know. Some women want to focus on a career."

"Not you though. You always dreamed about a white wedding Piper. You've been walking around in my old wedding dress and heels since you could walk. You used to have Cal walk behind you holding the dress up so it didn't get dirty as you tried hard not to fall over as you walked to the cherub in Grandma's garden to link his arm."

"Well I didn't have many friends when I was little. I was obviously very lonely if I was playing with garden furniture. Shall I order Chinese?" Piper waved a menu and it was the cue for her father to stand and straighten his jacket out.

"No thanks sweetheart. We'd better get going now. We just wanted to make sure you got home safe." Her father pulled her in for a hug. "You did great today. I mean, you probably could have been smarter with your answers sometimes, but you'll know for next time."

" _Next time?_ " Piper pulled back, eyebrows in her hairline.

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant, you learn from your mistakes….anyway. What's done is done. See you soon pumpkin." He kissed her quickly on the cheek and pulled his coat on as Piper's mother said her farewells.

As Piper hugged her mother quickly, she could sense Steve wasn't moving towards the door, only standing to bid the polite farewells to her parents, promises of calling in soon and regards to his family and the rest.

Piper and Steve stood at the door, waving her parents off like the married couple her parents would want to bid farewell to after a visit. She closed the door behind them when they were out of sight and sighed.

"Thank God that's over."

"Chinese right?" Steve leafed through the menu, kicking his shoes off and lifting his feet to rest on the coffee table.

"Yeah. Making yourself at home there?" Piper nodded at his feet.

"Sorry. Forgot you're a Chapman." He dropped his legs back down and perused the menu. "So, what do you fancy? Chow mein…beef and black bean…."

"Did you think that was funny earlier?"

"What?" He didn't even look up.

"The 'plenty of men would want to date you' comment."

"What? It was a joke."

"It might be if you didn't know I was dating Alex." Piper folded her arms as she leaned against the wall closest to him.

"It really was a joke Piper. I was just playing with you." Steve ignored her mention of Alex.

"And when you asked if I was seeing anyone? Was that a joke too? Because it didn't sound like there was going to be a punchline. Just a very uncomfortable conversation if I answered that."

"Why didn't you answer it?"

"Don't you think I've had enough cross-examination for one day?"

"Because you know she's not right for you?"

"No Steve! Because she's _exactly_ right for me. But you fucking _know_ that my parents won't think that and that is exactly why you thought you'd stoke it up a bit. Play the wholesome and single Doctor who wants to meet a nice lady to have his babies…..You play that because you know my mum eats all that shit right up. You play it because you know I won't."

"I think you're being a bit dramatic about it. It was just a joke. I didn't mean anything sinister by it. Come on, sit down….let's choose some food and chill for a bit."

"I don't want to sit here and eat Chinese with you. I want to see Alex. I've wanted to see Alex all damned day and I really want to sit and eat Chinese with my girlfriend right now. I want to lie on the sofa with her and chill. I want to fall asleep in her arms tonight, feeling safe…..I haven't seen her all day Steve."

Steve stood up and dropped the menu onto the coffee table.

"She doesn't deserve you Piper. I can't stand seeing you pine after her like this when I know she'll break your heart."

"What exactly do you think you're trying to protect me from here?" Piper was exasperated and her patience for this attitude from Steve was wearing thin.

"She's a bad apple. She wasn't pining after you this afternoon when she stormed off to her car was she? She drove out of that car park and didn't come back to see how you were today!"

"Stormed off?"

"Yeah! That's the hotheaded lunatic you're pining after! Someone who gets physical when they can't argue back." Steve's voice started to fade as he realised what he'd said, Piper's eyes flashing in anger at him.

"Alex got physical?...With you?"

"Yeah. Your mom saw her too."

"Did my mother know who it was?"

"No."

Piper's blue eyes flicked back and forth across Steve's face as she looked for a trace of a lie in what he was saying.

"What did you say to her?" She asked calmly.

"Nothing."

"Bullshit. Tell me."

"I didn't say anything."

"You're lying. Tell me what you said or get your coat and get out."

"Piper, this is way out of context here." Steve tried to chuckle and lighten her mood, but she stood firm. "Come on. You know we aren't gonna be best buddies. The feeling is mutual."

"Tell me."

Steve sighed and ran his hand up and down the back of his head before giving in.

"She was giving me shit for introducing you to Darryl."

"And?"

"She said I didn't keep you safe."

"This is school yard stuff. Sticks and stones Steve. What made her get physical with you?"

"I said she'd put your life in danger with the drugs."

"That's it?"

"I told her she was no good for you and to do the right thing and walk away."

"And what, she did?"

"After pushing me against the wall, yeah. See, you can't rely on her to be there for you Piper."

"She pushed you against the wall? That's it? Jesus, you made it sound like she'd pulled a damned knife on you for Christ sake." Piper gathered the coffee mugs up and dropped them into the sink.

"She pinned me against it by the throat..." He spluttered weakly.

"You do realise how pathetic this sounds right now, don't you? It's school yard stuff. Honestly, I should put you in one of those 'getting along' shirts together until you work it out." She shook her head as she rinsed the mugs under the water.

"I just think you should remember that leopards don't change their sports is all. Maybe you need to remember that and what she put you through when you had a relationship with her the first time around."

"Shall I order?" Steve asked gently as Piper dried her hands.

"Yeah, if you're hungry. Go ahead. The beef and black bean sauce is good from there." She shouted over her shoulder as she walked to her room.

Steve flicked the TV on and put his feet back onto the table as he waited for Piper to come back and order. It was fifteen minutes later when she came back wearing a jacket.

"Are we picking it up?"

"They will deliver if you want. I can leave you the spare key to lock up when you're done."

"When I'm done?"

"Yeah. I told you. I want to see Alex...and since you two aren't ready to kiss and make up, I'm heading over to do some kissing of my own. Post the key through the door when you leave ok?" Piper leaned down to quickly hug him with one arm before opening the door.


	93. Chapter 93

**A/N: I've had you waiting a tiny bit longer than usual for an update. Sorry about that!**

"You couldn't stand being so far away from her in that court room."

Alex's list of alternative reasons for leaving the court today was halted by the Uber driver switching the interior light on because they were outside her apartment. She paid the driver and pulled her keys from her bag, unlocking the door and pushing it open with her hips as she drained the last of the beer from the bottle. She closed the door and was headed to the fridge to see if she had any more in there when she was distracted by the sound of people talking in the background. Turning to look at where the conversation was coming from, she saw the TV flickering in the lounge and someone sitting on the sofa at the side of it.

"Hey."

Alex blinked in slow motion into the dark room, trying to process that she wasn't being burgled and hadn't forgotten to switch the TV off.

"Hey." She eventually managed in reply.

"Surprise." Piper smiled sheepishly as she stood, pulling her hair behind her ear a little nervously.

Alex's heart was thumping in her chest and she could hear her blood running through her veins. She hadn't expected this. She was already resigned to cat and mouse texts with apologies exchanged further down the line. Piper didn't seem to be angry. She would recognise a Piper that was here for a fight. This Piper was….a little anxious…..coy even….but calm and watching her from the shadows…waiting for her to speak.

"I…..didn't think…"

"I still have a key…..I can leave it if you want….If it's weird…coming back to find someone watching your TV…" Piper started to ramble and averted her eyes every so often to break the intensity of Alex's eyes on her.

"No...I mean…..yes, it's weird coming home to find the TV on…but it's nice weird." Alex managed to stutter out as she stood awkwardly in between the lounge and the kitchen, still holding her bag and an empty beer bottle.

Piper chuckled. "Nice weird?"

"Yeah." Alex's face relaxed a little and she found a smile.

"You don't mind?"

Alex shook her head from side to side slowly, her eyes fixed on Piper.

"So I can stay? I kind of planned for you saying yes you see…." Piper nodded towards her case by the door.

"Oh you did huh?" Alex smiled again, chewing her cheek inside to hold back a grin and putting her things down on the kitchen top.

"I did. I mean….." Piper took a step forward and ran her hand along the arm of the sofa. "It's kinda heavy to move…." She took another step and drew her fingers along the back of the sofa now as she moved towards Alex.

"Are you looking for a logistics contractor?" Alex started to unbutton her long coat.

"Mmmmm." Piper pressed her lips together into a thin line and nodded as she reached the handle on her case, fingers dancing over the plastic grip as she watched Alex's fingers dextrously move down her body.

"Are you gonna show me what's inside?" Alex cocked an eyebrow as she gripped the edges of the wool coat she had unfastened.

"I was going to ask you the same question." Piper's eyes twinkled as she leaned back against the front door, arms folded.

Alex smirked and leaned back against the counter, palms outstretched behind her.

"Ask me then."

Piper dropped her head back against the door and groaned. "I can't."

"What?" Alex's husky tones went up a couple of octaves.

"Wait." Piper was across the room and into Alex's arms in three strides. "I can't wait. You're too good at the slow torturous build up and I'm gonna combust if I don't touch you." The blonde reached her arms around Alex as tightly as she could and pushed her fingers into the long dark hair at the base of her neck. Alex laughed and pulled her tightly against her, breathing in the familiar scent that was like a drug to her senses.

"Better?" Alex chuckled as she felt Piper press her face into her shoulder and inhale deeply.

"Not yet." The blonde murmured into the long dark hair that covered Alex's shoulders.

They clung together like anchors in each other's storm until Piper reached inside Alex's coat to push it off her shoulders.

"I need to be closer to you."

"Alright, well let me hang this up and I'll -."

"Just hold me Alex. Please." Piper whispered against the material of her shirt.

Alex looked down at the blonde holding her tightly, but Piper's eyes were closed. She dropped the coat on the floor and managed to kick off her boots as they stood in a tight embrace, the taller woman stroking blonde hair against her chest for a long time in silence. Alex was the first to break it with words she needed to vocalise instead of playing them in her head.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there this afternoon."

Piper tightened her grip on the back of Alex's shirt before speaking quietly. "I know. It's OK."

"I know I should-." Piper lifted her head to look into the familiar green eyes she'd been longing to see and pressed her fingers to the lips above her.

"Don't talk….I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about anything tonight."

Alex leaned back a little to lift Piper's chin so she could see her eyes. "Are you sure? You might feel better…."

"I'm sure…Too much talking already today. I need to just feel right now."

Alex held her tightly, their bodies pressed together from their feet to their foreheads. They stayed in this position for a long time, Piper's hands running up and down Alex's back every so often and the taller woman kissing the top of her blonde hair to reciprocate the affectionate gestures.

"I'm glad you came over."

"Me too."

"It sounds like your stomach had an ulterior motive. Are you really here for the contents of my refrigerator?"

"Busted." Piper spoke into the material of Alex's top, not wanting to break the contact with her body.

Alex leaned back, chuckling. "Is that case of yours empty and I just caught you in the act of grocery napping?"

"Nah. I only steal groceries that have already been converted into yummy meals served on a plate."

"Of course. Good job I didn't leave any of those lying around or you'd already be gone…You want me to rustle something up to calm the roar?" Alex reached down to stroke Piper's tummy.

"Would you? I haven't eaten anything since breakfast…."

Alex moved towards the kitchen, Piper taking her hand to follow behind her as she opened the cupboards to pull some ingredients together for a quick chicken pasta. "Really? I thought you were going to get something to eat on your way home?"

"No, we went straight to my place." Piper eventually released Alex's hand.

"Not many nice places serve puppy food I guess. Wouldn't want Saint Steve to starve….." Alex raised an eyebrow before ducking into the refrigerator.

"Don't be like that. I know you two had a head to head earlier…."

Alex rolled her eyes as she closed the door, holding a pack of chicken breasts. "Why doesn't it surprise me that he told you that?"

"I know I should find it cute that you're fighting over me, but it's exhausting being in the middle of you both. Can you _try_ to be civil with him, for me?"

"Yeah. Once he accepts that he has to keep his puppy paws off you and his pathetic eyes too for that matter…." Alex cut the chicken into strips with some swift knife strokes before dropping them into the heated pan.

Piper sighed and moved to stand behind her as she stood, frying the chicken. "You know I'm not interested in him. It really shouldn't bother you."

"I know it, but _he_ doesn't."

"He's had a crush on me since we were kids. It's a habit. He'll never act on it, believe me."

"I'd still like to see the hope in his eyes crushed."

"Well if it's any consolation, I left him in my apartment to order Chinese while I came over here to see you. Is that crushed enough for you?"

Alex threw her head back with laughter and turned to look sideways at Piper, resting her chin on her shoulder. "Really? Man, I wish I could have seen his face." She clicked her fingers.

"You're cruel. And actually I feel a bit bad about it, but I had to see you."

Alex couldn't contain her smile as she finished browning the meat while Piper kissed her neck. She turned the chicken out of the pan onto the chopping board before turning around in Piper's arms. "I'm glad you chose me." She leaned in and kissed Piper's lips softly.

XXXXX

Alex had teased and tormented Piper slowly on the sofa. It was their way now. Fast and frantic didn't seem to fit with their moods. It was intense on a whole different level to what they had before.

They were laid fully clothed along the sofa now. Alex hovered above her, planting small kisses all along her abdomen where the blonde's shirt had been pushed up. Piper's fingers were tangled in the dark hair that was tickling her tummy and she watched Alex move her lips over her tingling skin with curiosity.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather go to bed and do this?" Alex murmured as she looked up to see Piper's blue eyes watching her.

"I just want to feel you next to me."

Alex chuckled. "I am next to you."

"I want you closer."

"OK….." Alex moved higher up so her body was pressed on top of Piper's and their faces were only an inch apart.

"Close enough?"

"No."

"Well….I think we'll have to lose these clothes then." Alex smirked before leaning in to kiss Piper's lips.

"Closer." Piper whispered between kisses into Alex's mouth.

Alex deepened the kiss and slowly swirled her tongue into Piper's mouth, moaning as the woman beneath her responded eagerly with her own. Piper moved her hand up into Alex's hair and pulled her impossibly close to press against her mouth as her other arm wrapped her into a tight embrace. They stayed like that until Piper broke suddenly for air and pulled Alex in to lie against her chest in an equally tight embrace.

Sensing uneven movement in Piper's chest, Alex lifted her head a little to see Piper turn her face away to the side.

"Hey….Are you OK?" Alex was suddenly worried when she saw Piper's cheeks were wet. She pulled herself up onto her elbow, but Piper pulled her back into a close hug as she let out a gentle sob and nodded her head in the only reply she could manage.

"Um….crying is not usually a sign that you are OK though."

"Stop talking."

"I will if you stop crying."

"I'm not crying."

"You're doing an excellent impression of someone who is….."

Piper sniffed. "I'm being stupid. I need to stop being stupid and the not crying will stop. I just need a minute, OK?"

Alex leaned up onto her elbow and stroked the tears from her cheek with her thumb, before leaning in to kiss where they had been. "You're not stupid to me. You're beautiful…(kiss)….You're smart…..(kiss)…..you're funny…..(kiss)….kind….(kiss)...narcissistic….(kiss)…..uptight…." Alex chuckled as Piper slapped her arm gently.

When they were together and travelling, it was all about having fun. They made love, they made the kind of love that made their skin tingle and hearts race. That had been one of the many ways they had connected all those years ago. But this….this was making love in the rawest and most emotional way either of them had ever felt. Eye contact was intense, and Piper could see into Alex's heart through her green eyes. There had always been an air of mystery about the dark haired woman she had fallen in love with all those years ago. Piper had always assumed it had a lot to do with her secretive job and a need to keep people at arm's length. Even when they were together, not all of Alex was ever within her grasp. There was always a sense that some facets of her would forever be out of her reach. That no matter how long they were together, how much fun they had, however much they made love and connected physically….that there was a part of that woman she could never reach. She was guarded, careful, measured. Not cold, not at all cold. The opposite in fact. She was warm, made you feel at ease straight away. Gave you her undivided attention when in conversation with you. She could effortlessly charm and seduce you, or appear indifferent and aloof. She was an enigma, wrapped in a riddle. As much as Piper loved solving puzzles, she quickly learned that she'd never be able to solve this one and to accept that this was a part of Alex that she loved just as much as her other assets and quirks.

She had loved Alex completely. Accepted her flaws and gradually, even her job. She loved her despite knowing the environment in which their love existed was toxic. Initially, it was from external factors created by Alex's work for Kubra. But gradually, that toxic pressure began to creep into the four walls of their hotel rooms….over the fancy three course dinners in expensive restaurants….across the dance floors of VIP bars where Piper danced alone while Alex was called aside to talk business again. And because it was gradual, Piper let it happen. Being the elastic in their relationship to stretch and accommodate the change every time. She was letting their love be tainted by it, letting yet more inside their bubble every time Alex pleaded and bargained with her. She loved Alex so much that she stopped believing her own whining protests when Alex pushed the boundaries again. No meant 'no' less and less as time went on and their bubble filled with poison.

When the time came that Piper could no longer breathe in that environment, she left. It wasn't even a decision that she had been mulling over for a long time. It was a heat of the moment thing. The elastic had reached it's limit and Alex pushed again, to the point Piper wasn't willing to accommodate. The timing was appalling. She knew Alex was more than capable of manipulating her and maybe part of her even thought her mother dying was a card that her girlfriend was playing as a last resort. Maybe that's the only way she was able to turn her back on the tears Alex was shedding and walk out of her life. She had been absolutely certain that the heart she was breaking in that decision was her own. That Alex would be angry and upset with her for leaving, but she would very quickly get over it and move on to any one of the women who had been hanging around the outskirts of their bubble, hoping for a chance to burst it. The inaccessible part of Alex, where her deepest emotions lay would kick in and self-preservation would automatically protect her from any of the heartache that Piper would go through.

Piper had absolutely broken her own heart when she got on that plane in Charles de Gaulle airport and her inner monologue had wrestled with whether it would just be easier all round to head back to Alex and apologise. The older woman would surely accept her back and things would go back to how they were. But she didn't want how they were _sometimes_. She wanted their lives to be that good _all of the time_. The anxiety and indecision crippled her all the way over the Atlantic Ocean and she forced herself to move forwards, having Polly pick her up from the airport and take her to her apartment to stay. She was resolute with steely determination until she got her own apartment a couple of weeks later. The loneliness of reality hit her hard and she cried and drank until her heart was dried up. Hearing all these years later that Alex was truly heartbroken when Piper left her in Paris was a real shock she hadn't expected. Finding out that the unflappable, impenetrable Alex Vause had been brought to her knees by Piper leaving was something that she still couldn't get her head around.

She had Alex now. She had _all_ of Alex. There wasn't anything her lover was holding back…she could see it in her eyes. There was an honesty….a _vulnerability_ even…in Alex's eyes that she had never known before. It scared her a little to know that Alex could be broken….that she could break the dark haired enigma and already had a long time ago. It scared her that Alex might think that she was ever going to be _enough_ for her. That Alex might never want anyone else….that she would be the last and only person to feel….taste….come undone under the touch of Alex Vause. A woman could be overwhelmed by the thought of such a thing. Piper was overcome with a very different feeling all of a sudden. Relief. She felt relief that she knew she was all Alex needed now.

Piper stroked the dark hair back from Alex's concerned eyes and smiled at her lover.

"I love you Alex. I will love you until the last breath leaves my body and I swear I won't let anything come between us ever again."

 **A/N: So...this might actually be a good place to end this fic. I hadn't intended to leave it here, but I actually quite like the closure this chapter brought to some wounds that have been open since Chapter 1. I've had a great time writing this and re-reading it myself recently has made me learn a few lessons that I'd do differently next time. The reviews and comments I've had from you along the way have had me laughing and tearing my hair out sometimes. All have been appreciated and also those people who sent me PMs about their own experiences - thank you for sharing your story. I've been writing this every week for a year, so I might find it difficult to fill that gap that finishing the story leaves.**

 **Anyhow, thanks for reading and I hope you've enjoyed it.**

 **Icarriedawatermelon. x**


	94. Chapter 94

**A/N: Merry Christmas! I didn't mean to start this up again but I found a half-written chapter on my old laptop and thought 'what the heck'….. Since so many people have messaged me for an update or sequel, I thought I'd share it. No promises about further updates at this point as I certainly can't write as often as I used to. Hope you've all enjoyed a great Christmas break, however you chose to spend it!**

 **XXXXX**

"Piper, I won't say a word. I'll sit on the opposite side of the room even."

"I'm not negotiating on this. I'm stressed enough without having you two shooting daggers at each other and worrying if there's going to be one of you sporting a black eye after every recess. No Alex." She rinsed the coffee mugs out and put them onto the drainer to signal the end of the lengthy discussion.

"I can't believe you'd rather have him there than me."

"I'm not choosing. Steve is involved in the case, so he's going to be there. You've got a crane to fix and $2million to save. You honestly have more important things to do than sit in the court room today."

"….Fucking Nicky?!" Alex looked to the ceiling and sighed.

"Yes, it was 'fucking Nicky'…and it's a good job too because you weren't going to tell me." Piper dried her hands off and dropped the towel before turning to put her hands on her hips. "How long has your phone been switched off?"

"It's not. It needs charging."

"Yeah, right. In the 10 years you worked for Kubra; that never happened once. Are you telling me it's a coincidence that it happens for the first time when I'm in court?"

Alex rolled her eyes and pulled her boots on.

"I'm serious Al. $2million is a fuckload of money and you will NOT lose that on account of me." Piper moved over to where Alex was sitting on the sofa, moving the long hair that was hiding her face. "I'll give you the A for effort. But I would be much happier knowing you were doing something useful."

"Pipes, I want to be there for you. I told you, you're more important to me than anything. Let me prove it." Alex stroked Piper's cheek before leaning in to kiss her softly.

"$2million buys us a fucking awesome holiday when this is over. Then you can prove it to me over…(kiss)….and over (kiss)…..and over (kiss) again."

"Are you seriously trying to seduce me into leaving you on your own in that court room today?"

"Hell yes. And I'm serious about you taking me on an awesome holiday afterwards too. Show me the money Vause…..and brochures. Show me the brochures too." Piper kissed her on the nose quickly before standing up

XXXXX

Piper was finished with the cross-examination and any additional questions by lunch time. It had been two and half days of stress and anxiety, but her part in it was done now and she met her Mother and Steve outside in the corridor.

"Hi Mom." She gave her a brief hug before stepping back. "Where's Daddy?"

"He had to work sweetheart. Something came up this morning, so he had to drive home."

"Oh. Well at least it's over."

"You look exhausted dear. When was the last time you had a facial? You're skin's never been so sallow….Except when you were wearing that awful prison boiler suit. Orange has never suited your complexion."

"It was a uniform Mom and they didn't have a colour range to choose from."

"They didn't even have your size dear! I'm sure they could have taken them in at the waist a little more. No definition to your figure at all."

"Well, it's a fashion faux pas I don't plan to repeat; if that makes you feel any better about it."

"It does."

"Can you just give me a minute? I need to talk to Steve."

"Of course dear." Her mother immediately brightened. "He's been so worried about you. Been here every day you know. Did you see him in the Gallery? He's been such a sweetheart."

"That's nice. Would you mind waiting outside for me?"

"Oh…Alright. I suppose you want a little alone time." Her mother winked as she left and it turned Piper's stomach a little that she would be so excited about her pairing with Steve. She smiled a little as she thought about how sallow her mother's skin would be when she introduced her to Alex though.

"Hi Steve."

"Hey."

"I just wanted to say sorry for leaving like that last night."

"I guess the stress was getting to you a bit. It's OK." He shrugged, avoiding her eyes.

"Well, it's not really OK. You've driven all the way up here to support me and I shouldn't have bailed on you like that. I do appreciate it you know." Piper moved to touch her arm to catch his attention.

"Here's your key."

"Thanks."

"I have to get back for a shift tonight, so I'm going to get some rest at home."

"Oh, OK. I really a-"

"I'm not going to apologise for what I said last night. She's no good for you. You can do better."

Piper drew breath to counter and Steve raised his hand before she could get a word out.

"I know you don't agree. I don't understand what you see in her. I don't like her…" He sighed, catching himself behaving like a spoiled teenager who wasn't getting their own way. "It doesn't mean we can't be friends though, right?"

Steve offered a small smile and Piper rolled her eyes and sighed. She had a niggling urge to make everyone be friends. The Chapman way of doing things was for everyone to smile and pretend like it was a theatre production for a couple of hours, then they could go back to looking down their noses from afar. Prison Piper used those skills to weave between the dorm cliques and tried not to choose sides if she could see any way to avoid it. This felt a lot like choosing sides and she didn't want to lose Steve's friendship. She'd known him a long time and he'd been loyal to her and she knew she could count on him in a sticky situation. He'd proved it by saving her from Darryl doing something far worse to her than he had gotten away with. He was in court supporting her. But Alex had been so good to her too. Rubbing the back of her neck, she decided to weave between the dorms again.

"Of course we can be friends. I need you to try though, with Alex. It's not like we see each other a lot anyway. Please….just be civil will you? For me?"

Steve shook his head. "I honestly don't think she's capable of-"

"You don't know her Steve. You don't know her at all. You're judging her on something you actually know very little about. I'm not asking you to pick her in your soccer team every Sunday. I'm asking you to be civil and not stick daggers in each other all the time. I'll say the same to Alex. Please?"

"Don't look at me like that. That's underhand to look at me with those eyes." Steve closed his eyes, wrestling with the dilemma.

"Pleeeeeeease."

"Alright. I'll try. But if she –."

"Thank you!"

Piper punched his bicep playfully and he pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry for stressing you last night." Steve spoke quietly, but sounded sincere in his words.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch about it." She mumbled into his warm coat as they had a long embrace.

They stepped apart. "See you next time you're home?"

"Count on it."

XXXXX

Brooke was humming along to a Miley Cyrus song on the radio when Piper came into the store. Piper couldn't stifle a small giggle as she watched her swinging her hips to the chorus.

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt." Piper waved at her as Brooke tried to take evasive action to stand behind the counter.

"You didn't interrupt anything. I was just restocking."

"Is Polly in?"

"Yeah. Do you still work here?"

"Yes. Afraid so."

"She's in the back with some guy I've never seen before."

"The door is closed. Is it a meeting?"

Brooke only shrugged her shoulders before heading over to talk to a customer by the door.

Piper pressed her ear against the door to try and work out who Polly was in there with. She really didn't think Polly would be so brave as to bring Pete into the back office while Brooke was manning the store. Best to be sure before she opened the door though and she could only hear muffled voices from where she was craning her neck. She knocked before pushing the door open and peering inside.

"Piper! I didn't think you'd be back so early…." Polly stood up from the desk, where a College age guy dressed in baggy pants and a football tee was sitting and facing her.

"I finished early I guess, so I thought I'd come in and give you a hand."

"Oh, you didn't need to. I think we've got it covered here, haven't we Cory?"

"Yeah."

"Oh! This is Cory by the way."

"I see that." Piper cocked an eyebrow at Polly suddenly blushing.

"Cory is going to help us with the website design. I was just going over a few things with him."

"I see that too." Piper said as Cory faced his laptop once again and Polly glared back at her.

"How about we run through what we've done so far?" Polly pulled a chair out for Piper to join them.

XXXXX

"Rob, I'm going to assume you understand all of these legal terms and you're not having me sign up to anything that you wouldn't sign yourself in my position. Am I right to assume this?" She glanced over her glasses as she put pen to paper for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"You are absolutely right to assume it Alex. Don't worry, I spent a large chunk of my night preparing this and nothing is binding you to buy it at this stage. It's purely to declare your interests, let them do some background to check you're a legit buyer and – "

"Am I? A legit buyer I mean? They aren't going to find anything in this 'approval to dig' form I'm signing that will compromise anything are they?" Alex dropped the pen and sat back, lifting her glasses into her hair and watching Rob closely.

"It's just checking you have the funds. They aren't interested in your family tree." He chuckled as he reached to refill Alex's cup of coffee.

"I'm less concerned about my tiny family tree than the funds."

"I know. Honestly, it's all about the here and now. The wealth you have is legit Alex. I know you are paranoid about it, but it is all signed and sealed and official. As your legal representative, I wouldn't work in any other way, I can assure you."

"Do you think this is a stupid idea?" Alex pushed the pile of papers aside and sat back in her chair as she looked at Rob.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because. It feels like I should have done more market research. Does it feel rushed to you?"

"That's not the kind of advice you pay me for."

"I know. I'm not necessarily asking you as my Lawyer…." She stood up and walked to the window, looking out over the city.

"Are you having second thoughts about this?" Rob sat on the edge of the table, concerned that Alex wasn't fully invested.

The whir of a photocopier in the background filled the silence in the room as Alex considered her answer. "NY Logistics was a legitimate investment, built from the ground up with skills I already had. I've been building that and focusing on only that for years now. Suddenly I'm branching out by buying the place in Newark and getting involved in _maintenance_ for Christ's sake. What the fuck do I know about maintenance?!" Alex leaned back against the window and waited for Rob to impart some wisdom to tell her she was indeed losing the plot and should do something different. After a few seconds, Alex raised her brows to indicate it was a question she wanted him to answer.

Rob shook his head and smiled in reply. "Not my decision Alex. I'll read over whatever contracts and legal text you need me to and will pull in whatever expertise I can to help you though…..What's on your mind?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Did I ever tell you I hate people sitting on the fence? Yes….I'm having second thoughts….I needed a crane fixing….not another company to keep me awake at night."

"So get the crane fixed and walk away." Rob picked up his coffee and drank as Alex stared back out at the city scape below them.

"You make it sound so simple."

Rob laughed. "The law is simple, how we interpret it and apply it to our circumstances is what makes it complicated."

"I won't tell you my thoughts on the law." She turned and leaned against the window. "This is just fact finding at this stage, right? Just seeing what a deal might look like and them just checking I have enough collateral to follow it through?"

"Exactly that. No promises are made, no money changing hands. Just an official expression of your interest in purchasing this business for them to give you the information you need to make a decision. You'll get their books, their contracts, their real estate agreements, staffing portfolio, the whole shebang."

"Shebang?" Alex cocked an eyebrow.

"A legal term." Rob grinned.

XXXXX

Piper went back to Polly's for something to eat when the locked up the store. Catching her up on what happened in the court room, Polly was shaking an angry fist and calling out the bad guys in all the right places.

"I can't believe they would even try and make out like you were leading him on like that! Honestly, all the evidence is so fucking obvious you were being set up by him!"

"Yeah, well….I've seen my fair share of defence and prosecution in action and they have to pin their case on any small shred of reasonable doubt." Piper shrugged as she reached for the bottle of wine to fill their glasses.

"Are you staying tonight?"

"What? Here? I haven't brought any clothes."

"Borrow something and head over to your place before work to change in the morning."

"I can't."

"Come on Piper, I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."

"I mean I can't come in to the store tomorrow."

"Why? I thought you said they were done with you?" Polly finished her pasta and pushed the plate aside.

"They are, but the case isn't finished."

"But your part is. Why would you want to put yourself through listening to more?"

"Because there are other women who he hurt. Other women whose story needs to be told."

"Other women his defence team will tear apart? I don't think it's a good idea you going back in there."

"What difference will it make?"

"My point exactly. You can be at the store to help me with the website designs instead."

"I'd say you and _Cory_ have it covered. Three's feeling like a crowd."

"Fuck you. He's barely started shaving."

"Probably with his Mom's razor."

"I think she dropped him off yesterday."

"He can't even _drive_?! I feel like we're asking our kids to work the remote to the TV already and I will _not_ be that person at my age."

XXXXX

She stayed at Polly's for the night and they were up until the small hours, catching up and Piper finally negotiated that she would go to the court room every day, but do the stock figures for the web sales when she finished each night to help Polly out. They needed to place their production orders with the manufacturer to have the stock ready to ship at the point the website went live. They could agree on a final website design when Cory had sent them some samples through for them to agree on.

Being in the court room gallery the next day was strange because her family and Steve were missing and it was strange being on the side of the observer. A petite woman called Sheree was giving evidence today and she had shoulder length blonde hair and a slim figure as she walked up to take the stand. She looked maybe 5 years younger than Piper and her eyes darted around the room as she nervously waited for some instruction from the court clerk. Seeing her in the witness box for the first time as Sheree gave evidence sent shivers down Piper's spine and she wondered if that is what she looked like when she was giving evidence for the first time in her life; all wide eyed and afraid of all of the courtroom protocols and legalese being used. The prosecuting team was questioning first and it was clear that the woman was expecting to be tripped up at any moment, not realising that this was the easy part. The prosecution led her into the questions slowly, helping her to relax some before the bigger questions were broached. Piper saw a young man sitting in the front of the gallery, where Sheree kept nervously looking as she talked about the night she met Darryl.

They broke for a recess and Piper went to get some air outside the court, sitting on a bench with a bottle of water. The circumstances that Sheree was describing had striking similarities to what Piper experienced. Group night out, friend of a friend invited her along, went to a crowded bar as a group….It was hard to separate herself from the testimony that was being given already. She was focused on turning the bottle in her fingers as she felt someone sit down beside her.

"How do you move on from this?"

Piper looked to her side to find the man Sheree had been looking for had taken the space up next to her.

"Honestly? I don't know if moving on is the right phrase." Piper moved her hair behind her ear nervously.

"I feel so useless. What can I say to help?"

"I'm definitely not the right person to ask for advice." She held her hands up a little. "I'm pretty much the master of saying and doing the wrong thing."

They were quiet for a moment, both watching people coming out of the court and hurrying to their cars with arms of paperwork. It was big business for those fancy suits to be here. They probably saw more of the insides of those court rooms than their own kitchens. Except for Alicia Florrick, who seemed to actually work in her kitchen most of the time.

"Do you mind?" The man held a cigarette up to light and Piper shook her head.

"Is she seeing a therapist or a counsellor?"

"Yeah. For a while already." He took a long drag of the cigarette and watched the smoke disappear as he exhaled.

"It helped me. I think so anyway. I'm still processing."

"You seemed composed when you gave evidence."

Piper laughed without humour. "I'm glad it looked that way. I was using all my energy not to throw up all over my best suit."

"Dry cleaning is so expensive in the city right? " He turned the cigarette between his fingers slowly. Piper watched a young woman in a smart dress searching her purse for change at the parking meter as they sat in silence again.

"Could he walk free at the end of this?"

It was a simple question. One that Piper had thought in her mind every day since this investigation started. What would she do if he did walk free? Would it be something she could live with? Would she become someone who sought out her own justice by tracking him down and delivering it another way? Her grip tightened on the bottle as her bench companion awaited her answer. The woman at the parking meter got her ticket and walked away from them.

"I suppose that is always a possibility we have to consider up until the verdict is given." Clearly not the right words to calm a very nervous partner. She told him she was terrible at this. It's his own fault for asking. Piper felt obliged to continue and improve on that last poor effort.

"She has to focus on being very clear and precise with her evidence; that's as much as any of us can do." He nodded, watching the cigarette burn down in his hand. Piper drained the rest of her water and stood up.

"You'd better get back in there. She needs you to be positive through this."

XXXXX

Instead of going back to the court room, Piper went to pick up some groceries as she'd had way too many take outs at home this week and really didn't want to impose on Alex to cook for her yet again. She restocked her kitchen shelves and made herself something to eat before grabbing her gym kit and heading over to PoPi, making sure to make good on her promises last night to Polly of getting more involved in their expansion plans from now on. She worked through the figures for the main product line in the back office and Polly left her alone until closing time.

"Are you trying to burn that calculator out?"

"Until it tells me the numbers I want to see, yes. I need smaller numbers and it's not playing nicely."

"We're all closed up out here. Are you leaving with us or locking up?"

"Leaving with you. I'm going to meet Jess for a workout." Piper saved her work and closed the laptop down.

"Good idea. Take it out on the gym instructor instead of the calculator." Polly threw Piper her coat.

"I'll be back tomorrow to carry on with this though, don't worry."

"OK, whenever you're ready."

"I'll be here in the morning." Piper knocked the light off and closed the door behind her as they walked out of the back door.

"I thought you were in court all week?"

"I'm not going tomorrow. We have those interviews to do for Alex."

"Alright. Text me if you change your mind so I know your Instructor hasn't killed you." Polly hugged her quickly before they went their separate ways.

XXXXX

Piper was sore when she woke up on Friday morning, having done an intensive session with Jess with free weights. She was sore all over, but exhausted enough to sleep through the night without wanting to have a drink. It had shaken her to hear Sheree's testimony yesterday and she knew it would be more intense in the afternoon as they talked about her rape. She felt anxious about hearing the details from someone else's personal Hell. It was such an intimate and personal experience that would be shared with a whole room of gawking onlookers. Piper shivered and wondered if the man she had sat next to the previous day was truly prepared for what he had heard in that court room. A few hours of listening to such graphic descriptions would change someone forever.

She was the first to arrive at PoPi that morning and spent a great deal of time on internet research for interviewing logistics roles in preparation for helping Alex with their recruitment. Polly was far less interested in the prep and wanted only the bullet list of what they should ask as they headed over to NY Logistics in the afternoon for the first interviews.

"So we're basically looking for someone who is organised, good at time management, works well under pressure and has a pulse?" Polly yawned as they searched for a parking space outside.

"I didn't mention the pulse. You added that."

"Wow, even less to be choosy about then."

"No! They need to be self-motivated, committed, ambitious, willing to travel too…."

"Piper, these guys are fresh out of College. Let's stick with the pulse and self-motivated bits for now. Anything more is a bonus point." Polly slid out of the car and wandered up the stairs with an arm of CVs in her grasp.

"Hey, it's the PoPi partners! Good to see you guys!" Nicky spun around in her chair, pulling her headset down around her neck. "Are you here in force to complain about something? If so, you'll get my out of office."

"Hi Nicky. We're actually on a recruitment mission. Where do you want us?"

"So many ways to answer that question….The small meeting room next to Stretch's office to start with." Nicky showed them in and helped Piper set up the room for interviews while Polly went to the bathroom.

"All done with the court case now Chapman?"

"Kind of. It's still going on, but I'm not needed."

"Ah. Is it too early to celebrate anything?"

"Yes. Until he's locked up, I'm kind of holding my breath."

"Can we plan a little party when that happens? We need to celebrate something around here. It's all work and no play these days."

"I like the sound of that. Alex working you too hard hey?"

"Yes! But she's also flat out herself….as you know."

"I do. She's always been that way. You get used to it." Piper shrugged as Polly came back.

"Well, maybe when you hire us some whizz kids we can all chill the Hell out for a bit and get an actual life again."

"Aw, is your poor liver almost back to fully functioning Nicky?" Polly interjected as she switched the thermostat up.

"Hell will freeze over before I let that happen."

XXXXXX

Alex met three preferred candidates from the interviews and was impressed with all of them. They seemed a good fit to the work ethic they had going and had some interesting ideas for improving the way the rapidly growing company might adapt to the changing industry for logistics. She was working out the best fit for each of the candidates to be located in the company and was poring over a new organisational structure when her phone started ringing.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself." Alex smiled and put her pen down, pushing her shoulder back to stretch her aching back.

"I'm just calling to remind you that you get another full 24 hours credit to work tomorrow and you don't have to finish it all today." Piper yawned into the phone.

"Thanks for that. I don't recall setting up that alarm on my phone. It's amazing what these new iPhones can do these days."

"I could impart my tech wisdom on you in more detail if you moved away from your laptop once in a while."

"I'm nearly finished, I promise."

"You said that two hours ago Al."

"I know, but then I had another idea and I think this will work better."

"I'm sure it will." Piper hung up.

"If you stopped calling me, I'd be finished sooner too." Alex laughed as Piper pulled her phone from her hand and circled her arms around her neck before kissing her hair.

"I don't like office Alex being in my house so much. Can I have bed Alex now please?" Piper moved to sit herself across Alex's lap, blocking her laptop screen.

"So demanding." Alex pulled her glasses into her hair and kissed Piper on the side of her mouth.

"And cute. Don't forget how cute I am."

"How can I when you're literally blocking my line of sight to anything but how cute you are?" Alex raised her eyebrow and tried to reach around her to start closing her mails down.

"I'm sorely tempted to close the laptop right now and make you stop and come to bed, but I'm slightly terrified of how much that might cost you since you're such a big shot exec these days."

"Wise move. Your holiday would definitely be downgraded if I lost what I am working on. Do not touch that keyboard with your nimble fingers." Alex pulled Piper's hands away from the laptop before rising up and pulling Piper towards her, carrying her away from the table and dropping her onto the sofa.

"Hmmm. You have other plans for my nimble fingers then Ms Vause?" Piper pulled Alex towards her by her shirt and kissed her.

"Yes." Alex kissed Piper slowly before pulling back and dropping a holiday brochure onto her lap. "If you don't choose something, we won't be going anywhere at this rate." Alex ruffled her hair as she went back to her laptop.

"Ugh. Who books holidays from brochures any more? You're so old school."

"It's for ideas. We can book whatever you want, just make a decision already and you can use my card to book it." Alex was already back in front of her papers and only half listening as she finished up what she had been working on.

"I don't care where we go…..Here. Book that." Piper flipped to a random page in the brochure and dropped it onto the table next to Alex's hand. The dark haired woman pulled her glasses down and screwed her face up.

"You really want to go to Cancun and sit on a crowded beach with a bunch of privileged rich kids spending Daddy's money?"

"Sure." Piper shrugged her shoulders before dropping onto the chair opposite Alex and leaning her chin onto her folded hands.

"You'd hate that. Pick again."

"No, YOU'D hate that."

"Fine. I'd hate it. Pick again." Alex sighed as she tried to send off the open emails she had while Piper peered at her impatiently.

"We should have a party."

"What?" Alex creased her brow as she closed her programmes down and closed the top on her screen.

"To celebrate something. Nicky thinks it would be a good idea."

"Nicky always thinks parties are a good idea." Alex rolled her eyes as she gathered the papers into her bag. "Especially the kind she doesn't pay for or clean up afterwards."

"I'm serious. We should organise something. It's weeks since everyone let their hair down and I think we all deserve it."

Alex raised her eyebrows and waited for Piper to present a more pressing argument.

"What? You don't think we deserve it?"

"Only you would think people have to _deserve_ a party." Alex chuckled as she pulled Piper by the hand and walked her to lock the doors and turn the lights out.


End file.
